Broken toes, diamonds, hives, paint fumes and a Graduation.

I think you can get the gist from the title of this post that the last couple weeks have been pretty busy.

It all started out with me breaking my toe.  Well at least we think I broke it.  That's the whole thing with broken toes.  If you only fractured the toe and nothing more serious (say as well as some other bone in your foot) there is nothing you can really do for it.  First aid includes buddy taping to the neighbouring toe, staying off the toe when you can, and wearing a supportive shoe if you must walk on it.  So even though I saw the doctor, an x-ray is never taken since the prognosis is the same, given whether it is broken or not.  So we assumed my baby toe was broken.  I'm saying very likely considering it bruised up nicely and was painful to walk on for a week.  Even now if I'm on it too much it feels a bit swollen.  I was suddenly very conscious of how many times I go up and down the stairs in a day, since we live in a 4-level side split. 

Like most personal injuries, I have no cool story involving extreme stunting or heroic.  It was of course done in a mundane, stupid kind of way.  I was simply talking to my son in the hallway upstairs when my daughter called to me from the bottom of the stairs.  As I turned around, I stepped forward at the same time and caught my baby toe on a piece of molding on the corner of our baseboards.  I heard a pop or a snap, and instantly began the furious hopping and cursing under your breath (yeah I'll admit it), that always accompanies when one stubs their toe.   I had the instincts to tape it instantly.  Dave had work appointments all day and we only have 1 vehicle, so Kendall and I went to the after hours clinic later that night.  She had a blast even though we had to wait over an hour.  For the last week, every time I go to the leave the house she asks me if I "hurt-ed my toe".  It's really cute.  So maybe this was my first broken bone ever, if it was actually broken.

2 days after my injury, Dave and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.  We agreed that since finances were tight, we'd just pay a babysitter and go out and skip buying each other gifts.  Of course Dave lied (I guess you can do that when you oversee the finances) and got me a dozen roses and some expensive jewelry.  This explained "that look" Dave had for a while after we had to replace the bumper on our car, followed by the break down of our air conditioner, since he would have already have bought the diamonds.  Regardless, we're not the jewelry buying type, so it was very sweet and appreciated.  Dave mumbled something about having to have some kind of equity for all our spent money.  I love his sense of humour. 

Originally for our "hot" date, we were going to go shopping for some desperately need summer clothing, followed by dinner. Hey, when you have preschool aged kids, you take any opportunity you can to go shopping alone, even your celebration of a decade of marriage.  However, since I wasn't too mobile with my gimped up foot.  We decided to see a movie instead.  It's really sad when you can't remember the last movie you saw as a couple, because it had been too many YEARS.  I want to say WALL-E, but I really don't know.  Now I know nothing expresses the sentiments of 10 years of marriage to the love of your life like a good comic book, action flick, but we really wanted to see The Avengers.  Sure everyone else in the theatre was either a mid-thirties single guy or a 12 year old boy, but we enjoyed ourselves and the movie was good.  Of course it was the first time we got to see a movie in 3D considering movies weren't using that kind of technology way back when we saw our last movie.  Instead of a romantic dinner we gorged ourselves on high priced movie food and popcorn, but we were okay with that too.

Last week Cole had his very last day of Preschool.  Next year he will attend Jr. Kindergarten 2 full days a week and every other Friday.  The parents attended the last half hour of class for cake. Kendall thought this was fabulous.  Cole was blessed to have fantastic teachers this year, who genuinely loved and cared for him.  Releasing him could have been much more difficult if it were for these fabulous ladies. 

2 days later Cole finally had an appointment for allergy testing that we had been waiting for, for well over a year.  Cole was very brave and did so well considering the whole unpleasant and foreign process.  The fact that Daddy brought a few presents probably didn't hurt.  During this session Cole was only tested with two possible allergens, peanuts which he's had a previous reaction and blood work done for, and birch (which can possible be related).  The skin test showed a definite reaction to the peanuts and nothing to the birch.  In another 3 months we will go back and they will discuss the blood work results and then test for tree nuts.  Nothing we didn't already know, but at least the ball is rolling.

And finally, if we hadn't been busy enough already (with these things, and everything else I haven't mentioned), we decided to tackle a painting project.  Until this point our front entrance and upstairs hallway have been a display of patchwork and 2 toned paint (a different colour had been used over the patching).  After many months of our front entrance acting as a test canvas, I finally picked a paint colour (I know, I can't believe it either!) and we decided it was time to tackle the project.  That and Kendall kept scraping at the poly filler and licking it off her fingers!  I also decided to paint the new closet doors we purchased.  We keep looking at the two tiny walls we've painted so far with great satisfaction.  Why did we live so long long with what was there before?  Isn't that always the way?

Next on the agenda ... Dave and I are headed to Winnipeg for a week for some meeting and leaving the kids with my mom.  1 week in a hotel with no kids, catching up with friends ... it going to be glorious.



They are cute, aren't they?!

31 Kisses

Before going to bed, the kids like to give each other a hug and a kiss good night.  Recently Cole has decided not to give Kendall just one kiss, but 31 kisses.  In Cole's mind 31 is an rather large number.  So I'm not sure whether he just really loves his sister and is showering her with generous kisses, or merely prolonging his departure to bed.  Either way, it's still pretty cute as we count each kiss out loud.

The Importance of Water Safety

Not sure about you ... but apparently Kendall is concerned about scraping up her elbows in the pool.

Siblings

Tonight the kids were playing with the pirate swords and pretending to be Jake and the Neverland Pirates (from Disney Jr.).  I grabbed a couple of old scarves I still had to complete their pirate looks, which they thought was great.

"Yo-ho-ho!"

It dawned on me how much things have changed in a year.  This photo was taken last June after I fashioned crowns for them out of the floormats in Kendall's room.

A year ago they were smaller, spoke less, and were just interacting with each other.  Talk about different!  Right now the kids are at an age and phase where they fight constantly!  Some days I think I'd go insane if wasn't for moments like tonight.  Where for a brief few minutes they are enthralled in an imaginary adventure.  At least until Kendall doesn't do things Cole's way.  Then it's back to giving Mommy gray hairs.

You Might Have Preschoolers If ...

I shared this photo on facebook today.  It was pretty popular in the "likes" department so I thought I'd share it here.

Potty Language and Much More

*Warning*:  If you don't want to read about the toileting habits of my 4 year old, please skip this post.  I'm posting this kind of stuff because other parents are always searching for advice on potty training, and even more so when it relates to Autism.  If you keep reading and you're disgusted, it's on you for not taking my caution seriously.

There have been a couple of huge events in the Brown household this week.

First, Kendall cut all 4 of her 2 year molars in one week (yeah, the week leading up to that was fun :-(  ).

Secondly and most importantly, Cole pooped in the potty.  (Poor boy, he's going to be so embarrassed if he ever reads this one day.)

Autism and potty training is usually tough slugging.  Breaks in communication processing, and sensory issues, make toileting a real challenge.  This has been true for Cole.  If you remember we started potty training last August. 

Cole has s-l-o-w-l-y made progress over the last 10 months.  I remind myself of this whenever I get frustrated about our present progress.  Cole has gone from not even wanting to sit on a training potty, to now doing both manners of business on a regular toilet. 

This last hurdle (pooping) was a biggie.  Since the beginning of our journey, he has just refused to have a bowl movement in anything other than a diaper, and then a pull up (when we switched).  The boy has amazing control.  We're talking days of holding things in because, the only time he wears a pull up is at night, when he's sleeping, when he goes to nursery school 2 afternoons a week, or when we got out to do something in public.  So as you can imagine we get smelly greetings when we open his door in the mornings.  Also, public errands are usually interrupted by awkward "diaper" changes, or abandoned midway ... and God bless his preschool teachers!

So how did he do it?  How did he finally get over such a "blockage", so to speak? ;)  Two words,  A BRIBE.

Now we've been using a reward system off and on this whole time.  The thing with Cole is that there was nothing he wanted bad enough that would persuade him.  Stickers mean nothing, and he just doesn't care for sweets or food that much.  My Happy Meal toy collection from my youth had been exhausted.

Cole got a Leapfrog Tag system for Christmas.  He ADORES this and plays it for hours over the course of a week.  You should see his reading skills as a result, it's amazing.  During my Mom's last visit for Kendall's birthday she brought a present for Cole as well.  There was one condition ... he ONLY got it IF he pooped on the toilet.  The "poop present" (as we dubbed it) was a "The Cat in The Hat" book for his Tag.  He REALLY wanted it.  We put it right out in the open on the bathroom counter next to the toilet, where he could see it every time he sat there.  I'm going to tell you right now that it sat there for a couple of weeks.  Cole tried everything from asking, pleading, sweet talking, even telling us that it was not a "poop present" but a "pee present" in order to convince us.  Finally one morning we found him in his room, in what I like to call, his "poop stance".  Dave quickly got him to the potty, and with one last push he technically did poop in the potty.  Now since he did push, and he recognized that he had indeed pooped, and then put the equation together that it meant he got his present, we praised him highly and let him have the book.  We figured maybe this would break that barrier in his mind and reinforce the desired behavior.  But weeks past and we never had success again.  We began reassuring him that if he pooped in the potty again, he could have another Tag book.  Nothing.  Finally Dave came home one day with a Chuggington book for his Tag system.  It took a few days but finally after sitting on the toilet by himself for a long while, I went to check in on him and he told me he pooped and began to talk about his poop present.  Of course I had to verify for myself, and it was true.  He had pooped, completely and on his own!!  We called Daddy at work to give him the good news, and Cole got his book.  He was so proud of himself, and of course THRILLED to have his prize.  To make it even better he did it again later that day, and after one accident, again the next day.  He even gave us a tally after the last one and he was right!  There's been nothing today, but hopefully he's gotten the idea that this can be done and stick with it.

Unfortunately we still have one huge hurdle to overcome, and that's initiation.  Cole will NEVER tell you that he needs to go to the bathroom (in either circumstance).  He will not take himself to the bathroom, or ask for help to use the bathroom even despite detailed explanations of how to do so.  The boy will be squirming, dancing and in pain and will always have to be told to go use the bathroom.  Even then, sometimes he refuses and we have to force the issue (sometimes with hostility).  The flip side is that he will simply wet or soil himself and then do nothing about.  He will not call out, or come find you.  He doesn't get upset about it.  He just remains glued to his spot going about his previous business.  Why he does this, I can only guess.  Probably because he hasn't figured out his body's signals yet, even though its obvious to everyone else, and despite trying to make him aware of this at the appropriate time.  It's just like if he's hungry, rather than telling you he is or asking for something to eat, Cole will just get cranky and angry.  Also Cole continues to struggle with his communication, especially in the area of requesting.  Presently he is in speech therapy where we work on the simple task of getting Cole to ask for things.  If we are making a puzzle, he must verbally ask for each and every piece without us prompting him.  Initially it took Cole a long time to grasp the concept that he actually had to ask each time to get what he desired (for eg. each puzzle piece).  Then he had trouble transferring the skill to a different activity for example, a ball popper, where he had to request each ball.  Each time the "rule" of requesting had to be modeled for him.  He has made amazing progress with his "I want ..." phrases over the past several weeks.  However there is a long road between "I want that toy" and "I think my body is telling me I need to go pee. I should go use the toilet".

We have learned from Cole's development that along the way there are huge walls, that take time to scale in his own way, when he is ready of course.   Trying to push Cole too soon, ends up with his head butted against the wall half-way, and he's left disoriented and sometimes shy to try the challenge again.  However, we know that sometimes Cole is content to simply sit at the bottom of the wall and make no attempt, or worse yet, he manages to convince us to continue scaling it for him.  The trick is finding the right time to give him a gentle nudge in order help him make success on his own.  Believe me, we are left questioning and second guessing when this opportune time is in each and every circumstance.  When do we need to be sensitive to our child's "disability" and when do we need to make sure we are not sheltering them to their own detriment, because of it?! 

Now I'm not sure if all those who read this blog know that I'm a pastor's wife.  I obviously have certain beliefs in God and faith.  What I have to say next expresses this.  If you're not the religious type, I hope that you will continue reading because it is been extremely helpful and I hope by sharing such thoughts, it may be helpful to you as well.  Now back to my previous question about sensitivity vs. sheltering ...

I regularly pray for wisdom on this very dilemma because it is continues to be beyond my insight and knowledge.  As a parent we tend to believe that we know our children better than anyone else.  But who knows our children better that God?  A God who doesn't see the world or our being as "normal" or "autistic".  God understands each of our inner workings because we are his creations (Psalm 139).  Who better to ask for instruction on a most precious possession than the one who constructed and assembled it themselves?  This is how I've learned (and continue to learn) to walk through life with Cole, and as a result, autism.  All of the therapy and professional help has been a blessing.  I am so thankful to live in a country that allows our family to have access to all these medical aids without financial burden.  But after our few hours of therapy are over, there are many long hours at home, hard at work by ourselves.  I am even more thankful for that we have the heavenly support "up above" to give us the strength we need, and will give us his ear whenever we need it.  No voice mail or ext. number needed.  Though on the hardest days I wish God would just give us Cole's user's manual.  Of course, as a kid, I think I would have been extremely annoyed if my parents knew about everything I was going to do and why.  On second thought, I think I'll keep free will.  Trusting God it is!