i am so FUCKING emo just now! AND I AM FEELING FUCKING GUILTY RIGHT NOW.

i just think that it's the right time to use the word "fuck" so i will UTILISE it as proper as i manage. so don't mind the harsh words.

i am moody because -

1. i got 74.5% for my recent chinese exam. WHICH IS A LUCKY "A"! that is IF the grade is not lowered!
2. MORE THAN HALF OF THE CLASS BEAT ME!
3. only just now, i realised that i cannot write a proper english essay. a proper, high standard, filled with bombastic language essay.
4. i have SO MANY exercise books to do that i regret buying so banyak.
5. TEACHER GAVE SO MANY LAST MINUTES REVISIONS/WORKS FOR US TO DO. HAVE IT NOT CROSSED THEIR MIND THAT WE WOULD ALSO BUY OUR OWN BOOKS TO DO? SO STOP STUFFING US WITH SO MUCH WORK AND EXPECT IT TO BE DONE PERFECTLY.
6. i am getting bored looking at sejarah. cos i am doing it.
7. i am getting bored looking at other subjects. cos my friends are doing them.
8. some people are acting weird [i don't know for good or for bad] around me and i think the reason is ME.
9. even serene agrees with me on that.
10. i am paying particular attention towards every single couple in my school.
11. i think i am obsessed with onion's relationship.
12. not only hers. but others too.
13. if people around me still act weirdly, i will get the wrong sign and idea and start thinking something else.
14. farah is moody too. according to syawal.
15. i did not have time to work out today.
16. i am good at wasting my time.
17. i want to not to come online next week but i scared i cannot do it.
18. someone said good luck to me but i cannot reply his msg. IT JUST WON'T GET THROUGH! stupid msn.
19. i don't know what to express anymore.
20. i didn't use any foul words though i thought i would.

good night. it is just a meaningless post. if you really understand me, you MIGHT get something. but i guess there is nothing meaningful enough about this post for you to understand. so. till after pmr. i need all your blessings~!

i realised that my blog is the most ignored blog. maybe it's the skin problem. or it might be me, the HONOURABLE AUTHOR behind this blog. later..later..after pmr..i will make changes towards this deserted blog. pitiful blog.

it's 5 minutes to 12 midnight. i am supposed to be asleep. but why am i not? because i am tempted to BLOG. see how much blogging influences me! it is part of my life, PART OF MY SOUL. i can never leave without it. never..survive..without..it.. carry on.

apparently my major examination is 15 days away. yet all i am thinking is.. MY PITIFUL LOVE LIFE. how relevant. so what should i do? TEACH ME!

oh yeah. manga is just so nice you know. the story gets more and more interesting. you just can't help but get glued to it! and it gives you all sorts of fantasies and imaginations. for example, VERY GOOD examples, naruto and bleach! sometimes, japanese manga can contain a little bit of under-18 storyline, which makes it even more interesting. THAT is the best part. oh in case you get misunderstood, it's NOT porn. no no way. i don't do porns. it's not me. i am just a typical civilised citizen, normal secondary school student who is facing THE major examination.

conclusion = porn is not my thing.

i think..that's it.

-looks back up again- oh my gosh i think i really need your sympathy. = =

okay since i'm online so why not i blog a bit.

i failed. i didn't manage to finish science. heck i haven't even done FORM TWO! and i'm only at CHAPTER TWO! and it's the FIRST subject i've started to revise. to make things worse, i have a sej latih tubi tomorrow and i didn't even touch the sej book until i packed them. DAMN IT. how am i going to survive tomorrow?! how am i going to survive for PMR!!

i'm so going to flunk my chinese. if miracle doesn't happen now, i am. ish.

okay enough of the rants and start reading essays and sleep after that. =.="