Please be aware that this post highly contain vulgar words that may cause uneasiness and discomfort to the reader! If you are under 13, this post is rated as PG13.
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She is too MUCH!!! I honestly can't take it any more. I admit that I may be at fault or I may be irrational. But all that has happened this week, it's more than I can bear.
Monday --> I was supposed to be working away from office as I had to send my mum to some place in PJ. I did mention that I'd be working. It's NOT an off day. That morning, she just have to send an email about leave record. Here's what she wrote in her so sucky and terrible English:
Attached is please find a leave record that we need to have since before. As understood 'working from home' or 'away from office' is a concept related to work and is an arrangement that I would issue personally, not based on request. We have inserted this in our 2010 schedule. Nonetheless, it looks like it happens only when I am away, I like to mention here that I may consider it other times as I see fit. Other than this, we will consider it as an official leave. So far, I have no record on leave, thus I have attached one here. Lets recalled how many days we have got left from January 2010, please forward this info back to me. Tqvm.
Right after I sent my mum, I went straight to office and it didn't even occur to her that I actually said I'd be working away from office.
Tuesday --> Nothing much happened. Thank God for that.
Wednesday --> The WORST and most GERAM working day ever. I had a terrible flu that day and wasn't feeling well at all. My colleagues kept asking me to see the doctor and get an MC. But it is my nature not to see the doctor unless it got worst and ongoing for not a reasonable time. At the same time, I can't be taking off as I can sense that she is not happy with me after Monday's incident. In the afternoon, I was wearing two thick jackets and still felt really cold. I knew that was it. So, I SMSed her. This was what the conversation:
Prof, can I take half day off today please. Will add on to the leave record.
Why?
Not feeling well.
Since she did not say yes or no, I waited till she reply..waited and waited...around 3ish, I saw her came online. I did not want to ask her again. So, I waited....till it was 5pm. As I walked pass her room, she was outside. And all she could tell me was...
Jun, tadi I was driving...so, didnt answer....
What the heck???? You came back to the office. You could have called the office or reply my sms right? I was totally suffering from the high temperature in the office, waiting for your reply out of respect...and you just totally ignore me. When she said those words, I really felt betrayed. Not even reaching the main office to punch out, tears were already welling up my eyes. Got in the car..and that's it...burst into tears...feeling so betrayed, so angry, so disappointed...so numb...What the heck of a person are you???
Thursday --> Today, I found out one enumerator whom we have not paid yet needed cash to pay school fee which will be due tomorrow and another enumerator who needed cash too. In my bank, it's just 2 digits now. Have already taken out almost RM 5k+ to pay other enumerators who needed cash. If I still had cash in the bank, I'd taken out for them. But I don't. So, fine...I wanted to ask her to transfer some cash to me first till we can finally get the payment, but I had class. So, my colleague went to ask her. And you know what she replied? It went something like this (directly typed out by that colleague):
wyChiah© says:
oo.
ard 3+ i go to her room let her sign the notice,
then i said, prof can u transfer 3000 to jun,
she wanted to ask u but she has class to attend
is for the enumerator
bcoz the enumerator wan to pay his tuition fee..
...
then prof show this face
"u mean me? transfer to jun?"
i said: yes
then she said: hmm chiah this month tak boleh
quite tight..
bcoz dah bayar sheereen rental in australia rm5000
plus the australi trip spent a lot
...
then i was quite shock.. so i said: hmm then tak pe la, kami tengok nak pinjam dgn orang lain..
she ask: pinjam dgn siapa?
i said: tak tau la, tengok la, bilik ra mana ada org kaya, pinjam la..
... ...
The End~
What the heck!!! When I heard that, I was like...not surprising at all. Kinda expected that she'd say 'tak ada duit'. Thanks to my colleagues, they'll be forking out their money to pay those two enumerators first.
I'm tired..really tired..when I felt like giving up yesterday, my daily reading bible verse mentioned bout love and faithfulness. To stay loyal even when we don't feel like it. That's what kept me from going into her office today and giving her my resignation letter.
I just pray that I'll be able to survive this.
What an Interesting Friend
"What an interesting friend you have there."
That was a comment I received from a friend when I told him why I was hurt.
It really didn't cross my mind that A could have felt that way. After these few months of spending time with each other, A thinks that I have no heart. Simply just because I chose my family over friends on this one incident. Even with that choice, I tried to integrate both so that I don't have to choose. Yet, A still thinks that I have no heart.
Really disappointed more than hurt I guess.
Thank God I still have my best friend in Australia and my close friends around me that supports and understands me.
That was a comment I received from a friend when I told him why I was hurt.
It really didn't cross my mind that A could have felt that way. After these few months of spending time with each other, A thinks that I have no heart. Simply just because I chose my family over friends on this one incident. Even with that choice, I tried to integrate both so that I don't have to choose. Yet, A still thinks that I have no heart.
Really disappointed more than hurt I guess.
Thank God I still have my best friend in Australia and my close friends around me that supports and understands me.
Labels:
Disappointment
FAILED!!
Not exactly failed..but no results at all. She just said it is out..the suggestion, Others have appealed before..but they failed.
Haiz...whatever it is...
Today marks my first day in my 2nd and hopefully final year in masters. Been busy in the office today with all the admin work to catch up.
Anyway, I honestly need to deal with my hatred towards my boss. Sad to say the 'h' word..but it really has gone go to that level.
Haiz...whatever it is...
Today marks my first day in my 2nd and hopefully final year in masters. Been busy in the office today with all the admin work to catch up.
Anyway, I honestly need to deal with my hatred towards my boss. Sad to say the 'h' word..but it really has gone go to that level.
End of One Week Break
It's the end of my one week break from the office and tomorrow it's back to work reality with its ugly environment.
I'm really grateful for the week break. I did manage to complete almost 2 chapters of the article with about 7 to 8 pages. Didn't manage to edit the other one.
Yet, as I step into the office tomorrow, and having to face the boss, I'm up for a challenge. Hope when the time comes, I've got the guts to stand up and tell her that I will not be doing any more fake or twisted documents. If she wants, she can fire me. Am prepared for that consequence even though I might have to start from scratch for my thesis.
However, I do have a suggestion for her. Though she has tried to appeal right at the top management, I don't think she's doing it the right way by calling. I think the best is just to write an appeal letter as it is black and white to claim the money from the project as it should be legally done. At least it is the right way. I don't care about being effective anymore. But more importantly is being efficient. Effective is getting to the aim regardless of the process. Efficient is still getting to the aim but with regards to the right process.
She can say whatever she wants bout me. She can bad mouth me, she can talk behind my back, what ever it is...I'm not going to do something that is way beyond my standards in life.
Whatever happens, I leave it to my loving Daddy as I want to what is pleasing to Him. Not just for the sake of feeling peaceful about it. Really hope I'll have the guts to stand up. =)
I'm really grateful for the week break. I did manage to complete almost 2 chapters of the article with about 7 to 8 pages. Didn't manage to edit the other one.
Yet, as I step into the office tomorrow, and having to face the boss, I'm up for a challenge. Hope when the time comes, I've got the guts to stand up and tell her that I will not be doing any more fake or twisted documents. If she wants, she can fire me. Am prepared for that consequence even though I might have to start from scratch for my thesis.
However, I do have a suggestion for her. Though she has tried to appeal right at the top management, I don't think she's doing it the right way by calling. I think the best is just to write an appeal letter as it is black and white to claim the money from the project as it should be legally done. At least it is the right way. I don't care about being effective anymore. But more importantly is being efficient. Effective is getting to the aim regardless of the process. Efficient is still getting to the aim but with regards to the right process.
She can say whatever she wants bout me. She can bad mouth me, she can talk behind my back, what ever it is...I'm not going to do something that is way beyond my standards in life.
Whatever happens, I leave it to my loving Daddy as I want to what is pleasing to Him. Not just for the sake of feeling peaceful about it. Really hope I'll have the guts to stand up. =)
Paid Yet Not Earning
I simply LOVE HATE my job. I still do love doing research..yet, the responsibility as a research assistant in UPM...SUCKS.
Why does it sucks?
Simple.
Unethical people who goes around twisting documents, twisting the procedures, twisting the black and white. In other words, government people in the education institution is super...unethical.
They get a big amount of money. They use it for unnecessary stuff. Although the purpose may be for the project, yet they twist and fake documents just to claim it illegally. According to the top people in my faculty, it's a common practice to take out extra and save it for a rainy day although it's not in the budget.
I have to admit that I have twisted a receipt and recently twisted some documents. But the consequence of it...I feel totally uncomfortable and totally not peaceful. Till today, that twisted behavior of mine is still fresh in my memory.
Now, I'mtold ordered to do fake documents..not twist..but totally fake documents to claim almost RM 10k. I have told her that I feel uncomfortable doing it. Yet, she pushes me to do it. She even called a few top people to ask for ways to claim it, and the answer they give..SHOCKING!!
Haiz..what kind of people are they? Is this happening everywhere in the working world? So corrupted and unethical? If they are not aware of it, then probably can be excused. But this is so direct and they are totally aware of it, yet..they still do it.
I wish I had made a stand the first time. Now, if I were to make that stand, I've no idea what the consequences will be. What a situation to be in.
Oh yeah..related to the title. I am paid RM 1500 a month. Yet, I'm broke. Thanks to the project that is owing me a lot of money now.
Why does it sucks?
Simple.
Unethical people who goes around twisting documents, twisting the procedures, twisting the black and white. In other words, government people in the education institution is super...unethical.
They get a big amount of money. They use it for unnecessary stuff. Although the purpose may be for the project, yet they twist and fake documents just to claim it illegally. According to the top people in my faculty, it's a common practice to take out extra and save it for a rainy day although it's not in the budget.
I have to admit that I have twisted a receipt and recently twisted some documents. But the consequence of it...I feel totally uncomfortable and totally not peaceful. Till today, that twisted behavior of mine is still fresh in my memory.
Now, I'm
Haiz..what kind of people are they? Is this happening everywhere in the working world? So corrupted and unethical? If they are not aware of it, then probably can be excused. But this is so direct and they are totally aware of it, yet..they still do it.
I wish I had made a stand the first time. Now, if I were to make that stand, I've no idea what the consequences will be. What a situation to be in.
Oh yeah..related to the title. I am paid RM 1500 a month. Yet, I'm broke. Thanks to the project that is owing me a lot of money now.
Hometown
I'm back in Malacca for a week. So relieved for not having to be in the office. Office environment can be very pressurizing and torturing.
Anyway, although I'm back, there's still tasks to be done.
1. Completing a SEM article within a week for publication.
2. Editing a previous article that has been peer reviewed.
These 2 tasks is enough to fill up my week. Lots of reading to catch up. Lots of terms that I need to add in to my vocabulary.
However, all in all, I'm really happy to be back in Malacca, back to my comfort zone, back to my sweetie's side, back to my parents care.
Anyway, although I'm back, there's still tasks to be done.
1. Completing a SEM article within a week for publication.
2. Editing a previous article that has been peer reviewed.
These 2 tasks is enough to fill up my week. Lots of reading to catch up. Lots of terms that I need to add in to my vocabulary.
However, all in all, I'm really happy to be back in Malacca, back to my comfort zone, back to my sweetie's side, back to my parents care.
Labels:
Hometown
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