What if...

Have you ever asked the question what if? It's deep if you go there. Tread lightly with these two very heavy words. I mean, think about it, really think about it. What if....

What if I had not worked a job since I was 14 years old...
What if I had made the cheer squad that year...
What if I didn't buy a car my senior year...
What if I didn't choose to work EVERY weekend my junior/senior years....

I wouldn't have met Darrell. (what if I wouldn't have given him that one chance?)

What if I had finished nursing school...
What if I had gotten a killer job right out of high school...

Then I wouldn't have the job I have now, I wouldn't know the people I know now.
I wouldn't be the same person.

What if I had said no...
What if I wanted someone with lots of money...
What if I didn't marry for love...
What if I wanted more THINGs in life...
What if I would've said NO to International adoption...
What if Darrell and I saw color...

I wouldn't have my sweet Emy and my precious Luke. (what if I had turned them down just because they were considered "delayed" and "weren't perfect"?) My mind can't get around that one---it's just scary.

What if I didn't believe in miracles...
What if God had given up on me...
What if people around me weren't praying for miracles in our lives...
What if I believed in abortion...

I wouldn't have gotten to experience life within me.
I wouldn't have my Tessa.

What if we have moved to the beach that year...
What if we didn't live where we do...

My children would not get to see their grandparents every weekend--such a sad thought.

All of the what ifs in the world just don't add up for me. God chose to bless me with this family, these children, and all I had to do was accept it. What if? That question will never be answered, but I really don't care. I love my life. I love my family. God loves us and sent His son Jesus to die in my place. What more do I need?

I have more than enough, don't ya think?