perhaps this came late.
but I was being slightly selfish (as usual). I needed time to set my emotions right before I start on this post.
right from year 1, you played an influential role in my life. in the lives of most of the Helea warriors I should believe so. Warriors, so apt. because that was what you truly were. you fought like a brave warrior should, in the face of adversity you showed remarkable resilience and for that, I salute you.
from the moment the news struck, so much has been going through my mind.
I remember year 1 orientation, when everyone was just shy. in a new environment, trying to not be so loud, but at the same time trying to make friends as well. you, just stood out. you were loud, and un-annoying. you were loud with the right humor, your jokes were always to lighten the mood. right till now I can still remember so many.
I remember admiring you for your excellent sporting spirit. esp since you were so versatile and there was hardly any sport that you could not play. I remember how you topped the level with your 2.4km timing in year 2. I remember how me and Wei Ting sat in front of first you and Rui Zheng, then you and Tyne. I remember how you and Tyne loved calling each other pigs and dogs and me and Wei Ting had non-stop entertainment. I remember how you came in early to class every morning at Mt Sinai to sweep the floor and even the corridor of the 1H classroom. I remember so much, so much that it pierces right through my heart.
throughout that two years, I know our friendship didn't start off v well and all esp in year 1. but I am ever so thankful that we became close friends as of year 2. despite your loudness, you were a trust-able confidante. I really could tell you anything, and expect some valuable advice from you whenever in times of need. and honestly, you never disappointed me. your advice will continue to guide me on my life journey, and rest assured I will live on your strong fighting spirit.
you were a magnificent sports leader as well. although many of them might see me as the in-charge, I always find the need to seek your advice before I do anything or make any decisions. which really means that you're the leader among us all. the silent (for once) leader that assisted in me in many of the events we had in place and many of the things we did in the 'backstage'.
right as of this moment, my greatest regret is to have drifted apart from you at the end of year 3. I can be quite sure that no one will ever understand the feeling I had when I first got news of your cancer. it was just, regret x1000. I told myself I had to make it up to you and tried my best to catch up with you whenever possible. Was glad to see you fighting hard and coming to school despite your fatigue after your chemotherapy sessions. pretending to not see me cause "you so short, I cannot see", but I know you still did because you'd always reply my text after spotting me in the canteen or anything :)
really heaved a sigh of relief when you conquered the cancer in June last year. I still remember what you wrote in the facebook note for your friends, I remember you thanking me for "being the noob who always fails to win me in arguments". well, I really miss having those pointless arguments with you. despite losing 100% of the time. because they make me smile :)
being back in the same class with you this year, I vowed to make sure I don't regret anything at the end of two years. but I guess, I will always have regrets. still remember the last conversation I had with you through text. you felt really beaten because everytime you appear to have conquered it, it comes back stronger than you've ever expected. despite so, you were still cheerful in class and cracked jokes as usual to make everyone laugh.
despite you feeling so lousy bout the cancer at times, you never failed to tell me to live life well and treasure my life because "some things I want do I also cannot do, you can you better do". I really didn't think so much of the strength of that cancer because I was pretty convinced it was not malignant. remember telling you time and again to be more optimistic, look on the brighter side. but I guess you know your condition best. and I regret not taking it as seriously as you put it to be.
I've much to apologize for, and much that I want to make up for. but opportunity only knocks once. I know you've a big heart, but yet I'm not asking for your forgiveness for not fulfilling the things I said I will do. I just ask that you take care, and be safe wherever you are alright.
 |
| 2 Helea 2009 - see, you're hiding from camera as usual. |
 |
| Sports Leaders @ Cheer The Flame YOG 2010 |
now, I bid you farewell. I know you'd want me to let it go because you've always told me to stop emo-ing whenever I am. I will let it go and live life well from now on :)
140495-180912
you'll be dearly missed.
you'll be dearly missed.
goodbye my friend, rest in peace
till we meet again.
That's the story of you and me, the way we've always been and we'll always be friends until the end. –Piglet
