I have "make a public blog post" on my to-do list today, and I have nothing to talk about publicly, so you know what that means.

The World's Deadlist Addiction Is Popping Up on Brain Scans. And It's Not Even a Drug.

(PDF) The Biology of Human Survival: Life and Death in Extreme Environments

The Buddha's daughter: A young Tibetan-Chinese woman has an unprecedented role to play

Who Invented the High Five?

Double empathy problem (Relatedly: Autistic individuals are more prosocial towards strangers and people they barely know)

The disastrous voyage of Satoshi, the world's first cryptocurrency cruise ship

The Worst Magazine in America

The Cat's Maew: Thai Treatise on Auspicious Felines (19th Century)

Anatoly Moskvin (tw for child death)

These all have no common theme except they don't have much in common with the rest of the links I have saved. Which I need to go through and clean out, because I have saved a LOT but have been slacking on linkposting. Oops! Also, follow longreads . See ya!

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I was just wondering if there's anyone here, followers, mutuals, passers-by alike, who would be interested in a community where we share and comment on vkei* songs + MVs, and nothing else? No general discussion, because I shouldn't be allowed to moderate that. Touching the conversations I imagine could happen would be like touching hot coals, but if we stay laser-focused on discussing the music then it's fine. At the very least, there will likely be a monthly thread where people can ask for personalized reccs!

The more I think about the comm the more ideas I have for it in terms of little events/challenges and such, so yea. I got the idea because a server I'm in has a channel where people post music, but it irks me how fast it goes and how there's no organization, so for this comm I want songs/MVs to be tagged with the subgenre (ex. kurofuku, tanbi, kote, menhera) and sound (ex. rock, metal, punk, electronic). If the poster is unsure which tags to use they won't have to tag anything, because the mod(s) will do it... Ideally! I don't really know how the specifics of tags in communities work, so we'll see.

If the comm really does happen, then while it's small I can only imagine needing a music-obsessed co-mod for adding/editing sound tags. I'm still learning about genres of music, so while I want everything to be tagged properly I don't trust myself to get the sounds right. However, I don't want just anyone to be able to add tags, because the ensuing arguments might be wild.

Anyways, yea ^_^ Let me know if you're interested or have something else to say. I won't say the number out loud (digitally), but there is a certain amount of positive responses I need before I seriously work on this. And of course if this is a bad idea that everyone hates I would prefer not to waste my time trying it, LOL.



*The community won't be 100% visual kei. Some of my ideas for events/challenges, both unique and reoccurring, include sharing related scenes and genres. However, I do plan for events where we can share not-vkei songs to be shorter than the ones that are vkei-only. I've thought so much about this.

The pain of 2025, that is! I'm so excited for the new pain and hardship 2026 will bring!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!

I didn't make one of these last month because ??? I don't know, to be honest. Let's pretend having a job threw off my usual unemployed schedule. So, this entry will cover both October and November.

I need to add this to my bio, but for now I'm putting this here: I type in my dialect on purpose, and if you try to correct it you lose relationship points with me. Thanks for understanding!

Past
In a classic Cici move, I did fuck all all of October. I don't even know why. I just didn't. And my doing nothing that month resulted in all my plans/projects falling through. 1000000000000 such cases. It seems like the only things I accomplished were completing Rhythm Tengoku and Rhythm Heaven (Gold). I watched Blacula and Sinners too, for class, but that's about it.

The Rhythm Heavens™

Both Rhythm Heavens were awesome, do recommend. These are some of my favorite minigames. (I prefer the Fan Clubs in Megamix though.) I will say that the controls for Gold made me want to hurt myself and the people around me sometimes, but that's okay! ^_^

Blacula was okay. Sinners was great! But I never can come up with much to say about movies...

November was my first month on the job and it's pretty darn okay. It's easy money. Unfortunately as a person who is/was 👌🏾 this close to being a hikikomori sometimes the difference is rooooough.

In November, I...
( the consumer )
I also finished all my normal school work, so besides Finals Week coming up (which I have never stressed over because I'm a great test taker) I'm done with school 👍🏾 One useless degree coming right up! Finally unsubbed from Spotify too, but I'm not gonna lie, this transition is hurting me. At the tail end of November I started working on a capsule wardrobe, so maybe in January or so I'll post pictures of all the outfit combinations I can make or something? *noncommittal shrug*

Present
I'm................... drawing 🤯 And since I finished Suikoden and dropped Haruka 2, I'm going to end the year with Chrono Trigger and Sakura Taisen. I don't really have plans besides that. Since I'll be spending most of the month freshly graduated, I want to relax for a while before making more unrealistic goals for myself and beating myself up when I fail ^v^

Way too late, I finally put the pieces together and realized that the reason I've drawn so little the past few years (with the sole exception of a little Moment during my sophomore year lol) is because I was too busy with or worried about school, so I'm going to make myself draw for a while and see if I can easily get back into the rhythm of it with no school holding me back.

Future
I'll be free as a bird from the 12th and onwards! You know, if you completely ignore that I have a job and all. I don't have the kind of demons that tell me to get a Master's, LMAO. Or, at least... they're not very loud <:3

I need to make some New Year's resolutions, but I'm not sure how many to have, what I should focus on, or if I should publicly share them to pressure myself into doing them or not. (If I say them publicly it'll hurt harder when I fail.) I know for sure in January I'm continuing my fan translation of that one manga, which I hope to finish within the year.

One thing I know for sure? I'm taking a nap right after I post this. Good night!

So last Tuesday I went to a place I applied to to woo them with my beautiful face. That's how I got my last job, I assume, so I figured it would be to my advantage if I tried it again. When it comes to jobs I'm comfortable working I'm kind of limited, and out of the jobs I applied to this place was by far my preferred choice, so I was just a little desperate to have them hire me.

On the way there was this guy at a stand selling (faux? p?)leather bracelets with spaces for snap buttons. He told us to check out his stuff when we circle back, and I really wanted to avoid him because I'm your typical antisocial zoomer, but his booth was riiight outside the store I was going to. So I had no choice but to check his wares when I left. In the end I ended up telling him that I'm broke and actually came her to check on an application... and he let me pick out a bracelet and 3 buttons for free. What the flip. So in that moment I actually became indebted to him and swore I'd buy something from him if I get the job. (This man, by the way, who wore a head band with a feather standing tall in the middle, said he loved that I wore my hair natural and told me to pray to the ancestors for help in getting the job, in case you need to vibe check him.)
( This post has pictures!!!! Rare long public post about my life )

So Voltage (of even if TEMPEST fame) is releasing a new game in December called Neon Clash - Echoes of the Lost -. This is the bilingual site, so be sure to change the language to English if you need that. I really like the MC design, and the love interest with light gray-blue hair is pretty cute, but the others look sooooo whatever. I believe their last game was The Red Bell's Lament, and when I heard about that I thought the concept sounded interesting but all the love interests looked boring, so it was kiiiind of nice that they at least got one for me this time. Come to think of it, I think only one love interest in even if TEMPEST is cute too... (If you can guess who it is you will win $0 :D!)

Anyways, I sent the characters page of Neon Clash to a friend so someone else can hate on the boys too, but I accidentally scrolled down too far and saw the side characters. What the hell. They're much, much more interesting looking than the love interests!? Are they kidding me? And I remember feeling this exact same way about The Red Bell's Lament too. But this time it's tenfold. They can't be serious making the other characters look like that and then seriously expecting me to give a flip about these fools in the forefront (besides the MC, who is lowkey kinda *bites lip*).

I don't think they even make fandiscs that make those characters romanceable. What the hell, Voltage? ?? ???? !!!?!?!?
( Read more... )

So I have to make another one of these posts. *lights cig*
I'm kind of late, but I've been busy. And so, so tired. Not because of depression. I just keep fucking up my sleep schedule.

Past

• I finished Final Fantasy IV (DS) on the 9th and The Legend of Zelda on the 15th.
  
  
  
  • I wrote an entry about FFIV; still deciding if I should make it public because I fear it's pretty rambly and useless. I did end up liking the game though! Despite it all!
  
  
  • I started Zelda a few hours later, and beat it just under a week later. It took me that long because I was busy packing and thinking about packing though. It probably actually only took me a few hours. Thing is, I played it on Nintendo Switch Online and I rewound time after 96% of the hits I took. I wonder if this is like... moral...? In the video game world. I imagine many would say that I cheated big-time and ruined my own enjoyment, but I dunno, because I did enjoy it. And when I played the game all that time ago without cheating I didn't have so much fun. Even save state abuse didn't amuse me as much as going back in time 2 seconds every 3 seconds for those final dungeons. I guess it's just a little embarrassing to say to the public that I couldn't beat the game honestly, but it's true. Well, it's not like I've never played any other Zelda. I beat those without cheating, and that's enough.
  
  


• On the 19th I moved to Louisiana, and that same night I went out to a daiquiri place, and then to the club, and then the next day we went to a seafood place, and then on Sunday we went to a lounge. All of those were firsts for me except the seafood place (and living in Louisiana). I kind of felt like an adult 💯


• I didn't watch Naruto all month *dies horribly*


• I ended up not doing Small Web September. I was actually busy for real and not just in my head for once, so I'm not mad at myself for this.

Present

• I'm Working On Stuff but I won't say what Stuff is until I'm done with it. I don't want to accidentally give myself a dopamine hit now and then lose the desire to finish. I also don't want to disappoint anyone when I inevitably don't finish it regardless.


• Despite everything, I still have not dropped out.


• I'm kind of playing Suikoden, but I really shouldn't be because I'm supposed to be playing Haruka 2. Thing is when I'm at my desk I'm too busy with other stuff to play that, but when I'm in bed trying to go to sleep my 3DS is right there like oooooo you wanna play me sooooo bad. Lately I've been into Theatrhythm Final Fantasy, but I play Suikoden when I've played all the songs I want to but I'm not sleepy yet. (The 3DS can run Playstation games but not Playstation 2 games, so I cannot play Haruka 2 on it, you see.) Finishing any game would be good though. I can cross something out the queue even if I've messed up the order.

Future

• I'll probably have a job in a few weeks. Please don't be Walmart.


• It would be nice if I could finish even one of the 3-5 things I'm working on :) The way you meet new people online is through creation, I think, so I have to create something.


• I will be taking a nap right after I post this! Good night!

what the freak

Few minorities can understand the plight of being a Jeritza fan. I was beaten, mocked, scorned. Stones would fly whenever I left my house, but even inside my house I found no refuge, for they would regularly hurl insults just outside my window. My pain ran deep, but I persevered. Because deep down I knew, somehow, Jeritza would one day become relevant.
( Read more... )

of 2025! Who's excited for 2026!? (Not me, the way things are going!)

What I've Done
- On the very last day of August, instead of doing anything I was supposed to, I rewatched the entire first half of Dororo 2019.

I was editing my favorite stuff on Anilist because I don't know if something is truly my "favorite" if I'm not weird and obsessive about it, so with that strict standard in mind I took Hyakkimaru off my favorite characters... but then I felt a little bad and felt compelled to watch just a little of Dororo again to check how I feel. I really did miss Hyakkimaru and Dororo... but I'm not absolutely deranged about them, so...? I know most people don't feel the intensity I do when I like something a little too much about anything, so I don't know if I'm doing this "favorites" thing right... On Backloggd too I ended up trimming my favorite games from 5 to 3, even though there's many games I think are really good and can play all day if time permits. Can I really call them a "favorite" if thinking about them doesn't make me want to chew on bricks? I don't know if this paragraph makes sense.

- Where I left off in Dragon Ball is the episode just before the start of the tournament, which I think is where people say Dragon Ball gets good. I thought the tournament arc of Naruto was booboo, so I'm wary, but maybe I should trust the fans. Yamcha's haircut made me have to pause, but it's cute in the sense that it makes him look about 10 years old <3 I hope Roshi dies

- I watched a bunch of episodes of Everyday Host with wintermintly, and ever since we caught up I've been watching the new episodes alone, unsubbed, as Japanese practice. It has a nice style and it's funny. I want to go to a host club, but I don't really want to get drunk, but getting me drunk is the hosts' raison d'etre, so I guess I'll stick to my dream of going to a maid cafe.

- Still watching Panty and Stocking. The blowjob brothers' transformation was great! I would have liked to see them outside of the transformation in their magical boy outfits. But who cares *pushes those fruitcakes out the way* The group animation for the girls was 🤤 And earlier I was complaining that the girls haven't transformed or worn their transformation outfits in a while. They didn't forget after all! They got upgrades! They got new transformations! They got Kneesocks coochie!!!!!!!!!! (I am writing this from the point of view from someone who hasn't seen any episodes released during September. You will see my thoughts on episode 9 later...)

- I also started watching Kino no Tabi/Kino's Journey with a friend who ISN'T Mikki. Yea, I have other friends. It's so, so, so brown. So 2000s in that way. But even so, it's really really good and it deserves the high ratings. I wish I had something smart to say about it. Kino is a better person than me. Kill all adults.

- I beat Order of Ecclesia! I wish I wasn't gamemaxxing so I could have fun with the post-completion game modes and replay it a little and stuff. I didn't even finish all the villager requests. It was really fun, but sadly with the backlog and wishlist I have there's no time to stop and smell the roses... I really did miss Castlevania. It's so good. <- Something I can only say when not actively playing, because when I am it's the most frustrating series ever and everyone involved in its creation should bow and apologize to me.

- I got through my first day of school, and my classes are all... REALLY easy? I'm in an English class about Black vampires, which is 2000-level so I look like a genius (I've never taken an English class that's 3000+ because I'm literally that ogre meme and I know I won't look like a genius anymore), a Japanese class where I already know everything, and another Japanese "class" where really I'm just teacher's assistant for an intermediate-level class. Looks like my final semester might be a breeze. I've never had a semester so easy. It's kind of scary idk

- I redownloaded NU: Carnival for the newest Edmond. The download didn't even take that long this time, so I guess I'm going back to being a regular player. (I have a lot to say about the event and Edmond, but it's access-locked due to the nature of Nucani. If we're mutuals, don't be afraid to ask for access 🥺)

- wintermintly had me download Parsec so that I could control her computer from far away, but more specifically so I could play local multiplayer games like I was there. I had my doubts, but it usually worked with zero noticeable lag even for racing and fighting games. Technology is crazy. We played Itadaki Street Special (what if Monopoly was even more evil?), Melee, Brawl, Double Dash, Ehrgeiz, and Ultimate Ninja Storm 2. Dragon Ball Fighterz soon 💪🏾🔥

- This and the next point are written on Aug. 9 because I forgot two things: One, I watched Nezha 2! There are some jokes that are very shocking in the sense that they are violently for small children who love potty and gross-out humor, but besides that, great movie. Really great movie. Who up filialing they piety. You should watch it as a send-off to Chinese Summer 2025 (although I feel we may be entering Chinese Fall... where tf is The Legend of Hei 2 subbed in English btw).

- My cough, which has been off-and-on since winter 2019, is back. I'd like to say it comes for 2 or 3 months, leaves for 2 or 3 months, and returns again in that cycle.

- Of course, I'm still watching Shippuden too.

I will try to be brief (1/435)

• Naruto having a legitimate panic attack and passing out upon finding out Sasuke is a terrorist is going down as one of my top 10 favorite yaoi moments in history.


• I dunno if I said this before, but it's crazy Naruto has a whole village full of black people and no one told me.


• OH YEAH, you know how I said I thought Sakura was going to reaffirm her love for Sasuke and friendzone Naruto? No, the opposite happened. She said she loved Naruto to get him to give up. Everyone in the comments hated her for this, and even Mikki said it was fucked up. I disagree. Or, at least, I see where Sakura's coming from. She cares Naruto, so she wants him to give up on Sasuke and heal and stuff. Sasuke's clearly a lost cause. And she was so willing to save Naruto that she'd sacrifice her future and enter a loveless (well there'd be platonic love) marriage and whatever for it <333 But nooooo everyone hates women so much. Sakura has done fuck all (except use her ultimate jutsu which summons Naruto lol) recently but let me support her in this.


• Was Sasuke kind of sigma for almost killing Karin and calling her useless (when she saved his ass twice)? Discuss.


• So you know how I said that I heard Sasuke never wins a fight? Well EYE think he won the Danzo one, yet Mik insists he did not because Danzo killed himself. I think cornering an opponent so bad that they feel they must kill themself is a dub. Sure, okay, maybe not a CLEAN dub, but a dub is a dub. I may or may not just be desperate to say he won and isn't a complete fraud.


• I wish they showed Sasuke getting his eyes replaced a little 💔 Gore of my Sasuke please?


• Oh yeah, I also don't hate Sakura going to try to stop Sasuke herself, but it just feels odd after she's done nothing for so long. It felt shoed in, just like Hinata trying to save Naruto during the Pain arc. Like, to lend more credence to their future marriage, I guess? But Naruto is such a show about relationships/love between men that I... I mean, Naruto has it's own unique world so I'd feel crazy saying maybe it just shouldn't have female characters, but they're all so... I dunno, maybe this should go in a different post. The series' themes, to me, just don't include women, so whenever women are relevant suddenly it feels so ??????? With the exception of Tsunade stuff. Hi Tsunade. Ultimately this is just a Kishimoto skill/interest issue, and I wouldn't feel this way if he put more effort into making them as unique and cool as the guys.



• Leave him alone???????????????????????? 😭😭😭


• I'm going to be so honest and say I kinda felt something in my eyeballs when Naruto was giving that speech to Sasuke about how they're friends and their destines are tied up with each others' and how it'd be nice if they were born without any baggage holding them back from being regular friends and how they're going to kill each other/die at the same time. Now I'm a little scared of what the future holds because I know if I see them fist bump, especially if it echoes that in the first opening, I'm going to sob like a little baby. The NaruSasu has officially got me guys............ I tried to stay strong, I really die................


• And then Naruto (the show, not the guy) got me again, because the episode that ended with Killer Bee rapping about being friends with that guy also did something to my eyeballs. I didn't cry though. But I almost got got. And I was mad because it was Killer Bee, awful rapper, and some guy I barely knew. Almost had me crying over someone I barely knew... I will study Naruto writing soon.


• Naruto (the guy) is also good in this new arc. It's cute how he raps to bond with Killer Bee. It's funnycute that he can't tell the difference between an octopus and squid and has to manually count the tentacles each time, and it's funnycute he tried to Talk no Jutsu the squid because he thought it was Killer Bee crashing out. He's getting to me guys.... He's normally not the kind of character I like...... I even think he's rather handsome sometimes too. What is this show doing to me man T_T It's getting scary out here!!


• I'm glad that whole "village suddenly being nice to Naruto" thing is being addressed, because I said at the end of the Pain arc that if I was Naruto and all these bullies were suddenly treating me with respect and kindness and love, that would ironically be my final straw and I'd attack them. Naruto is a better man than me.

What I'm Doing
- Small Web September smallweb :3 My goal is officially to make at least 3 shrines for my site, and the last week will be spent either on a fourth shrine orrrrr my fansite. We shall see what I decide on. I'm having a lot of fun so far! I have to hold back from not just working on the site all day every day. I wish I could feel that way about drawing again, haha. (sigh.) Anyways, at the very least, I want to have at least 2 shrines done. That's my bare-minimum goal. 3 shrines and a fansite/4 shrines is my ideal-situation goal.

- I'm still thinking about game jams and NaNoMangO, but I won't say if I'll actually be doing anything or not. I'm just thinking about them.

- The 10th will mark one year of me using Dreamwidth for real, although the post I made that day is private so no one can see it but me. That means it'll have been one year since Cohost announced it was going to shut down. That post was about how chapter 2 of Cirrus' route in Obscura, known VN, made me feel, as at that time it was recently-released. I could make a post about Cohost and how it changed me, but... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What I Will Do
- On God I'm going to beat Final Fantasy IV 3D today or tomorrow. I swear. And then I'll play The Legend of Zelda (1986), and then back to Harukanaru Toki no Naka de 2. That's my game plans for this month. I doubt I'll beat Haruka2 before the end of the month, but in case it gets really really good and I do, then I'm playing Sakura Wars after that :D

- I'm suddenly moving very soon to a state even deeper South with less rights, which is where my family is from, so that's exciting. I still have yet to make the post explaining why. The lore runs deep... It's the middle of Small Web September so I'm fixated on web design right now, plus I still have school, so finding the time to pack and all is kind of stressing me out. I might not move at all, but I hope I do. I really need to leave this house.

That's all for now. See you later :-]

did some intense backloggd research, and it seems video games didn't get good until 1993 (first year with 5+ games that are rated 4/5 stars or above)

these are the games btw

i'm putting a star by the games i've played and like :3
1. mega man x
2. castlevania: rondo of blood
3. super mario bros. 3 (the snes port)
4. day of the tentacle
5. super mario all-stars
6. doom
7. the legend of zelda: link's awakening 🟊

... after typing that i wanted find out during which year did games get REALLY good (what year has the entire first page of games with 4/5 or above), and the answer to that is 2021.

for the curious

1. disco elysium
2. outer wilds echoes of the eye
3. outer wilds archaeologist edition (wtf that's the same game twice?)
4. mass effect legendary edition
5. the binding of isaac: repentence
6. the great ace attorney chronicles
7. final fantasy xiv: endwalker
8. mass effect 2
9. tsukihime: a piece of blue glass moon
10. library of ruina
11. the binding of isaac: repentance (...? this one say's it's for afterbirth, the higher one is for rebirth)
12. the legend of heroes: trails through daybreak
13. lost judgement
14. resident evil 4 vr
15. crosscode: a new home
16. deltarune chapter 2
17. death stranding: director's cut
18. devil may cry 5 + vergil
19. gothic the chronicles of myrtana: archolos
20. metroid dread
21. jack jeanne
22. psychonauts 2
23. ghost of tsushima
24. castlevania: aria of sorrow 🟊 but it's specifically the port in the advance collection
25. scarlet hollow
26. it takes two
27. the elder scrolls v: skyrim - anniversary edition
28. judgement
29. nier replicant
30. honkai 3rd impact: outerworld traveler
31. cruelty squad
32. final fantasy vii remake intergrade
33. inscryption
34. before your eyes
35. demons roots
36. slow damage
37. blazing hope
38. spiritfarer
39. super mario 3d world + bowser's fury
40. metro exodus: enhanced edition
41. mass effect 3
42. hitman 3
43. nioh 2
44. rhythm doctor
45. neo: the world ends with you
46. little nightmares ii
47. imposter factory
48. sound voltex: exceed gear
49. final fantasy: pixel remaster
50. honkai impact 3rd: the phantom of the theater
51. echo
52. super mario 64 plus
53. metroid dread: special edition
54: blasphemous: wounds of eventide
55. devil may cry 5 deluxe edition + vergil
56. super metroid redux
57. honkai impact 3rd: hacked
58. virche evermore: error:salvation 🟊
59. touhou mystia's izakaya
60. umineko no naku koro ni saku: nekobako to musou no koukyoukyoku

good thing i started making a list. it includes dlc and ports and stuff! i'm not sure if that all counts. now let's see what happens if i filter it to only include main games

...

then there is no year where games are REALLY good, unless i lower my standards to 30 games that are 4/5+ instead of 60. 1993 is still the first year of ~good~ gaming though, because it just removes super mario all-stars (collection of ports) and super mario bros. 3 (the favorite from that quartet of ports).

let's say i lower it to 30 community-decided best main games. then the first year of great gaming is 2023.

click if you dare

1. baldur's gate 3
2. alan wake ii
3. resident evil 4: deluxe edition
4. the legend of zelda: tears of the kingdom
5. in stars and time
6. pikmin 4
7. armored core vi: fires of rubicon
8. theatrhythm final bar line
9. pizza tower
10. octopath traveler ii
11. misericorde: volume one
12. chants of sennaar
13. hi-fi rush
14. the talos principle ii
15. super mario bros. wonder
16. sakura no toki: sakura no mori no shita wo ayumu
17. void stranger
18. lies of p: deluxe edition
19. bomb rush cyberfunk (es oomf)
20. lies of p (??)
21. like a dragon gaiden: the man who erased his name
22. blasphemous ii
23. little goody two shoes
24. street fighter 6
25. the cosmic wheel sisterhood
26. tloz tears of the kingdom deluxe edition (???)
27. undertale yellow
28. peaks of yore (me playing snes games)
29. gravity circuit
30. sanabi
31. a space for the unbound

could actually be true, could be recency bias. backloggd was created in 2019, if that means anything. in my perfect world i would love to see how the ratings would look if everyone who has ever touched a single video game was made to participate in rating.

while i'm here: it's link time babeyyyy
( Read more... )