It's been a while, hasn't it? Seems I'm saying that often on this blog....but oh well.
Since I last posted, let's see.....
*Thanksgiving: My parents came. The visit was tolerable. I don't really remember anything that stands out as obnoxious or otherwise a problem, though I'm sure my mom managed to annoy me a time or two. It is, after all, one of the things she does.
That weekend, my laptop imploded. So we bought me a new one, that's probably too big for my britches, but there it is, and I'm really enjoying it. However, we got it home and I tried to load things from my external hard drive. And it had imploded as well. Including all of my scrapbooking projects. With less than 3 weeks to go before I needed to have the Grandma books uploaded for Christmas.
Yeah. Exactly.
The technical geeks at PC Laptops were able to recover all my data from the old laptop, but the external was another matter. They tried, but they were only able to recover about 2/3 of the pages, and nothing after that in that folder, so I lost several years worth of work and a number of projects. On the upside, I was able to get those recovered pages into another book and I did eventually finish them and get them uploaded.....3 days late. So they won't arrive until next week. *sigh*
And MIL has been bleating about wanting pictures of the kids, but that's a rather amusing story I'll have to post later. This is supposed to be a brief catch-up.
*Then there was the car accident.
On the freeway.
During rush hour.
Yeah. That.
See, I was trying to change lanes, so I was looking over my shoulder at traffic in the next lane when traffic in my lane slowed waaaaay down. I hit the brakes and swerved, but it wasn't enough and I rear-ended the car in front of me.
Oops.
Yes, we were wearing our seat belts. And yes, we're fine. I had a bruise from the seat belt for about a week, but it's all good. Really, it is.
So, the van had to be towed and I got a ticket (my birthday money from my parents nearly covered that....thanks mom!) and it cost over $6000 and two weeks to fix the van. In the end, I'm grateful for insurance and that the van wasn't totaled. We don't own it yet, and the payment from the insurance wouldn't have been enough to buy something else outright. But as it turned out, I was worried for nothing and it all worked out in the end.
*The next day, one of my children came to me with some difficult news. Said child is really struggling, and while normally I'd say more than that, in the interest of maintaining that child's privacy, I'm not going to say much more. The child is now in counseling and seems to be making some progress. Prayers are appreciated, as always.
*The day after that, I got a call from Murray Police. At first, I wondered what Murray had to do with my accident, which was handled by the Highway Patrol with a ticket issued from South Salt Lake.
But it wasn't that. It seems my camera, the one that was stolen back in March, had turned up. In Taylorsville.
In a homicide investigation.
I couldn't make this up if I tried!
I got my camera back, after visiting the Unified Police Department's evidence storage building. See, Taylorsville PD contracts with them (they're essentially the sheriff's office). The detective needed my permission to look at the photos on the camera, just dotting i's and all of that, so that the "search" of the camera was legal. Apparently there were photos on the camera that pertained to his case, so he kept the SD card. He did tell me he'd give it back after he copied the pictures to his computer, but so far, I haven't heard anything and I don't care.
With my camera, there were dozens of other electronics, including several GPSs. Unfortunately, one of them wasn't Bruce's, but it still might turn up. We'll see. The sad thing is that none of the serial numbers on any of the multitude of electronics came up in the system except my camera. There were iPods, GPSs, cameras, and more, and NONE of them came up. So, my friends, record your serial numbers, and REPORT them if they're stolen. You never know what might happen.
(And, in case you're not paying attention, that's *5* law enforcement agencies in just 4 days).
And we're not even to the 10th of December!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, November 4, 2011
30 Days of Thankfulness
1. For my husband, who heard my “I have no idea what to have for dinner tonight” and solved the problem.
2. For my boss, who paid for a chair massage for me last night at work.
3. For my husband, who has always made sure I can park my car in the garage.
4. Today was a day off for Alana. Bruce took Shannon to school so I didn’t have to get up and Alana let me sleep in until nearly 10:00 am.
5. For friends who buzzed at the last minute to let me know they were in the area and did I want to go for a treat? Yep, I sure did, and it was fabulous. I had such fun laughing and chatting with my friends!
Okay, so the daily thing didn't work out so well. But I can say that the thought of it changed me some. I found myself actively seeking out things, often very ordinary things, things that I wouldn't have paid any attention to, I sought them out, paid attention and was grateful for them. I remember one afternoon, sitting in the drive thru at McDonald's (don't judge me!). I was in a bit of a hurry, going from one volunteer engagement to another, and grabbing lunch on the go. Up in the foothills, I spotted a pair of hawks circling, circling, circling. It was so peaceful to watch them and I was thrilled to see them.
So, while I couldn't keep up with the daily tracking, I DID keep up with being thankful and I'm glad I did.
2. For my boss, who paid for a chair massage for me last night at work.
3. For my husband, who has always made sure I can park my car in the garage.
4. Today was a day off for Alana. Bruce took Shannon to school so I didn’t have to get up and Alana let me sleep in until nearly 10:00 am.
5. For friends who buzzed at the last minute to let me know they were in the area and did I want to go for a treat? Yep, I sure did, and it was fabulous. I had such fun laughing and chatting with my friends!
Okay, so the daily thing didn't work out so well. But I can say that the thought of it changed me some. I found myself actively seeking out things, often very ordinary things, things that I wouldn't have paid any attention to, I sought them out, paid attention and was grateful for them. I remember one afternoon, sitting in the drive thru at McDonald's (don't judge me!). I was in a bit of a hurry, going from one volunteer engagement to another, and grabbing lunch on the go. Up in the foothills, I spotted a pair of hawks circling, circling, circling. It was so peaceful to watch them and I was thrilled to see them.
So, while I couldn't keep up with the daily tracking, I DID keep up with being thankful and I'm glad I did.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
It's a God thing!
This past weekend was my annual Croptoberfest. It's one of two big crops I do every year--National Scrapbook Day in the spring and Croptoberfest in the fall. After a long and sometimes dry summer, Croptoberfest often jumpstarts my fall selling season and helps keep my business going.
This year, I was worried. I was still in the hole after having my purse stolen, and at the last minute, one of my regulars had to cancel. She usually brings a friend or two, so that left me down at least two attendees. I was worried. I had only three paying guests, plus one more who won a basket I donated to a church fundraiser.
So, I figured I'd do my best. I could still put on the event and make that profitable, though whether or not I could climb out of my hole was another matter all together.
Saturday morning, I lay awake fussing about all of this. I prayed for God to either bless my business or slam the door in my face, wondering if it was time to hang it up. I don't want to. I love being a consultant! But, I also know that I've sometimes held on to things longer than I should have, so I was asking for a sign or something to let me know which way I needed to go.
As I was preparing for the day, I got a phone call. I'd donated another basket to another fundraiser at a local elementary school. There were some tools in there that a former-consultant-friend (Thanks Allie!) had given me, plus two tickets to Croptoberfest. At the time I'd figured that people were more likely to come if they could bring a friend. I mean, really.....it's an invite to an event in a stranger's home.
Anyway....Caller's mother had bought the basket and she and her sister had just found out about it Saturday morning. Could they still come for a bit? Um SURE!
They were only able to come for a few hours, but they really enjoyed themselves and they plan to be back. Seems they used to scrap together once a month at a local scrapbooking store that has since gone out of business and they really miss it. I have to give a shout-out to my wonderful clients/friends, too, who included these new people into the group and really encouraged them to come again, mentioning my open house and what I do there, plus the fun we have at my monthly crops. The wine glasses put our new friends at ease as well....I guess they were worried that we'd be uptight Mormons who'd object to their coffee! ROFL!
And, I am now completely in the black! That feels SO good!
Thanks, Big Guy, for that sign. I sure needed that boost of confidence!
This year, I was worried. I was still in the hole after having my purse stolen, and at the last minute, one of my regulars had to cancel. She usually brings a friend or two, so that left me down at least two attendees. I was worried. I had only three paying guests, plus one more who won a basket I donated to a church fundraiser.
So, I figured I'd do my best. I could still put on the event and make that profitable, though whether or not I could climb out of my hole was another matter all together.
Saturday morning, I lay awake fussing about all of this. I prayed for God to either bless my business or slam the door in my face, wondering if it was time to hang it up. I don't want to. I love being a consultant! But, I also know that I've sometimes held on to things longer than I should have, so I was asking for a sign or something to let me know which way I needed to go.
As I was preparing for the day, I got a phone call. I'd donated another basket to another fundraiser at a local elementary school. There were some tools in there that a former-consultant-friend (Thanks Allie!) had given me, plus two tickets to Croptoberfest. At the time I'd figured that people were more likely to come if they could bring a friend. I mean, really.....it's an invite to an event in a stranger's home.
Anyway....Caller's mother had bought the basket and she and her sister had just found out about it Saturday morning. Could they still come for a bit? Um SURE!
They were only able to come for a few hours, but they really enjoyed themselves and they plan to be back. Seems they used to scrap together once a month at a local scrapbooking store that has since gone out of business and they really miss it. I have to give a shout-out to my wonderful clients/friends, too, who included these new people into the group and really encouraged them to come again, mentioning my open house and what I do there, plus the fun we have at my monthly crops. The wine glasses put our new friends at ease as well....I guess they were worried that we'd be uptight Mormons who'd object to their coffee! ROFL!
And, I am now completely in the black! That feels SO good!
Thanks, Big Guy, for that sign. I sure needed that boost of confidence!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
The Whys and Wherefores
Okay, so some of you are wondering why I've clamped down my privacy a bit.
See, it's really weird and a bit creepy.
A friend of mine in CA was dealing with someone in real life who was creating all sorts of havoc in her world. My friend and this person (I'll call her SC) were both involved in an organization out there, and their children go to school together, etc, etc, etc. I don't even remember how the whole mess started, but SC went rather nuts and started accusing Friend of all sorts of strange (and mostly unfounded) things. SC went out of her way, looking for trouble, going so far as to stalking Friend's personal blog, and generally making cr@p up. It got weirder and weirder, and really made Friend's life difficult for a time, reporting to the school that SC's kids were being bullied by Friend's kids, that Friend's husband was behaving inappropriately (Friend's DH's job could've been affected by this), and so forth.
For the most part, the real world knows that SC is nuts. The more she talks, the more people know she's lost her marbles.
During the whole mess way back when, I posted a comment on one of Friend's blog entries, just generally trying to be supportive of Friend and telling SC (who was, at the time, still stalking the blog like a nut) to get a life. I barely remember what the blog entry and my comment were about and I certainly don't remember specifics.
Fast-forward several YEARS.....SC found that comment. She linked from Friend's blog over to my old blog, the one I essentially abandoned nearly 3 years ago, and commented there. In her comment to me, SC wants me to tell her just what I was referring to, what Friend was saying about her, etc, etc, etc. She left me her full name and address and kept referring to my friend as "this person, Name/Email handle." She asked me to give her the same honesty and benefit of the doubt I'd given Friend.
Um, what?!
Who the hell do you think you are lady?! And why in the world do you think I would help you continue a smear campaign against my friend? Seriously?!
I wanted to respond and tell her to get a life and never contact me again.
However, I know from what Friend has told me, that responding to her would just fuel the fire. So, I've filed that comment/email and I'm being a "black-hole." Hopefully, as far as SC knows, I never got that email.
But, see, the last entry in my old blog contains a link to this one. And that's when I started to get a bit weirded out. I know what SC has put my friend through and I have no plans to engage with her at all. I don't want to deal with random comments from her or further emails, etc, etc, etc.
So, I made this an invite-only blog. And, ironically, many of you probably never knew or had forgotten I even had a blog so now I've got more traffic here than I ever would've had otherwise.
Some people lead such small lives.
See, it's really weird and a bit creepy.
A friend of mine in CA was dealing with someone in real life who was creating all sorts of havoc in her world. My friend and this person (I'll call her SC) were both involved in an organization out there, and their children go to school together, etc, etc, etc. I don't even remember how the whole mess started, but SC went rather nuts and started accusing Friend of all sorts of strange (and mostly unfounded) things. SC went out of her way, looking for trouble, going so far as to stalking Friend's personal blog, and generally making cr@p up. It got weirder and weirder, and really made Friend's life difficult for a time, reporting to the school that SC's kids were being bullied by Friend's kids, that Friend's husband was behaving inappropriately (Friend's DH's job could've been affected by this), and so forth.
For the most part, the real world knows that SC is nuts. The more she talks, the more people know she's lost her marbles.
During the whole mess way back when, I posted a comment on one of Friend's blog entries, just generally trying to be supportive of Friend and telling SC (who was, at the time, still stalking the blog like a nut) to get a life. I barely remember what the blog entry and my comment were about and I certainly don't remember specifics.
Fast-forward several YEARS.....SC found that comment. She linked from Friend's blog over to my old blog, the one I essentially abandoned nearly 3 years ago, and commented there. In her comment to me, SC wants me to tell her just what I was referring to, what Friend was saying about her, etc, etc, etc. She left me her full name and address and kept referring to my friend as "this person, Name/Email handle." She asked me to give her the same honesty and benefit of the doubt I'd given Friend.
Um, what?!
Who the hell do you think you are lady?! And why in the world do you think I would help you continue a smear campaign against my friend? Seriously?!
I wanted to respond and tell her to get a life and never contact me again.
However, I know from what Friend has told me, that responding to her would just fuel the fire. So, I've filed that comment/email and I'm being a "black-hole." Hopefully, as far as SC knows, I never got that email.
But, see, the last entry in my old blog contains a link to this one. And that's when I started to get a bit weirded out. I know what SC has put my friend through and I have no plans to engage with her at all. I don't want to deal with random comments from her or further emails, etc, etc, etc.
So, I made this an invite-only blog. And, ironically, many of you probably never knew or had forgotten I even had a blog so now I've got more traffic here than I ever would've had otherwise.
Some people lead such small lives.
Friday, October 7, 2011
The Astonishing Power of Cup of Tea
We went camping over the weekend, down to Capitol Reef National Park. It was likely our last camping trip of the season, though I'm hoping to go one more time (That's another post, however). With us were 6 other families loosely (or not) associated with our church.
One woman, a dear friend, has had a rough time lately. Her mother is older and struggling with health issues. She's recently moved into a retirement center, and my friend is trying to handle her doctor appointments, financial situation, etc, etc. Friend's siblings are, shall we say, less than helpful. Friend also has an elementary-aged child and a college child who's recently moved home. Friend could be the poster child for the "sandwich generation," bless her heart, and it's taking it's toll.
Saturday night is traditionally potluck night. Everyone brings meat for their family, plus a side dish to share. There's usually a bottle of wine (or two) and beer to go around, plus chips, salsa, guacamole and other equally fancy appetizers. After the potluck comes the kids' favorite moment--S'more time! All across the campground you hear parents telling their children that, if they want a s'more later, they MUST eat their dinner. My children are often reminded that dinner needs to include more than chips.....
So, after dinner and a couple of beers, it started to get chilly, so I headed into the trailer to make some tea (mate, actually, which is a South American brewed leafy thing....they put it in "tea" bags for us white folks). Friend mentioned that tea sounded good, and after smelling the mate, asked me for some. I dropped in a few sugar cubes, the mate bag, and poured the hot water and off we went for more catching up.
However. My friend cradled that tea cup.....a Disney insulated mug.....and said "I'm blessed to have you." When I went on with my business, stirring, and squeezing, she took my chin in her hand. She looked me square in they eye and said again "I'm blessed to have you."
It was a powerful moment. Simple, really. All I did was share my tea; brewing a cup for each of us to ward off the fall chill. And yet. For her, it was so much more than that. And she made sure I knew it.
But that's the thing about those every day kindnesses. We never truly know when someone needs that. We don't often know how much those little things are appreciated. But those things can be so very powerful in the life of someone else.
One woman, a dear friend, has had a rough time lately. Her mother is older and struggling with health issues. She's recently moved into a retirement center, and my friend is trying to handle her doctor appointments, financial situation, etc, etc. Friend's siblings are, shall we say, less than helpful. Friend also has an elementary-aged child and a college child who's recently moved home. Friend could be the poster child for the "sandwich generation," bless her heart, and it's taking it's toll.
Saturday night is traditionally potluck night. Everyone brings meat for their family, plus a side dish to share. There's usually a bottle of wine (or two) and beer to go around, plus chips, salsa, guacamole and other equally fancy appetizers. After the potluck comes the kids' favorite moment--S'more time! All across the campground you hear parents telling their children that, if they want a s'more later, they MUST eat their dinner. My children are often reminded that dinner needs to include more than chips.....
So, after dinner and a couple of beers, it started to get chilly, so I headed into the trailer to make some tea (mate, actually, which is a South American brewed leafy thing....they put it in "tea" bags for us white folks). Friend mentioned that tea sounded good, and after smelling the mate, asked me for some. I dropped in a few sugar cubes, the mate bag, and poured the hot water and off we went for more catching up.
However. My friend cradled that tea cup.....a Disney insulated mug.....and said "I'm blessed to have you." When I went on with my business, stirring, and squeezing, she took my chin in her hand. She looked me square in they eye and said again "I'm blessed to have you."
It was a powerful moment. Simple, really. All I did was share my tea; brewing a cup for each of us to ward off the fall chill. And yet. For her, it was so much more than that. And she made sure I knew it.
But that's the thing about those every day kindnesses. We never truly know when someone needs that. We don't often know how much those little things are appreciated. But those things can be so very powerful in the life of someone else.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
She's gone
Our minister died early this morning.
From her Caring Bridge Site:
"Dear ones,
This morning at about 4:30, Marti's two year battle with cancer finally came to an end. As many of you know, she has fought hard and well, and yet knew that when the time came her true test would be to "die well" too. Though we mourn deeply her loss, we know that she suffers no more and that the journey she took this morning was one she believed in fully and awaited without fear. We hope that you will all find comfort in knowing that she is at peace and lives on in the memories and teachings she gave to so many during her life. We really have to say "what a woman she was!" because, as you have shown, she was so much to so many.
As of yet memorial services have not been decided on, but please know that we will post them as soon as we know. For now, we pray only for comfort, knowing that those of us she has left behind will miss her greatly."
From her Caring Bridge Site:
"Dear ones,
This morning at about 4:30, Marti's two year battle with cancer finally came to an end. As many of you know, she has fought hard and well, and yet knew that when the time came her true test would be to "die well" too. Though we mourn deeply her loss, we know that she suffers no more and that the journey she took this morning was one she believed in fully and awaited without fear. We hope that you will all find comfort in knowing that she is at peace and lives on in the memories and teachings she gave to so many during her life. We really have to say "what a woman she was!" because, as you have shown, she was so much to so many.
As of yet memorial services have not been decided on, but please know that we will post them as soon as we know. For now, we pray only for comfort, knowing that those of us she has left behind will miss her greatly."
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Timely musings
I walked Alana to school today and we were talking about all sorts of things, including why Mommy shouldn't text and walk, much less text and drive.....we chatted about reading books and getting lost in them. We chatted about our weekend. And then Alana started doing a little math. She realized that, in 3 years, Tristan will be out of school, Shannon will be in High School, and she would be starting Junior High.
I knew that, and yet, when I stop to think about it, it hits me pretty hard. I remember when old ladies and older mothers used to tell me to cherish this time because it goes so fast. And I remember, in those days of showering at 3 in the afternoon constantly cleaning up the three 'p's, and always having a small person clinging to me or needing me or whining at me or crying.....I remember thinking that it couldn't go fast enough!
And now I'm wanting to slow time down, just a bit, so I can savor these precious moments that really do go too fast. I don't want to hold my children back from their lives....I just want time to stop ticking by quite so fast. Maybe it's the hint of fall in the air after what seemed like and endless and beautiful summer. Maybe it's the milestones of my oldest as he becomes more and more independent. I don't know, but I find myself wishing that each second lasted a half a second longer.
Ten years ago, I was trying to come to terms with being pregnant for a third time, totally unplanned. I wasn't sure I wanted another child. I had a boy and a girl, the house and the dog. The kids were (mostly) sleeping through the night and we were nearly done with diapers and here I was, pregnant. And really, at that stage, the "baby" didn't seem very real just yet. While I recognized that I had choices, I also knew somehow that this baby was meant to be, so we soldiered on, somewhat reluctantly I'll admit, and made room in our lives for this new precious light.
Now I look forward another ten years and I'll be an empty-nester; possibly even a grandmother (I'm in no hurry, but Tristan will be 25 at that point). It just doesn't seem possible that those seemingly endless nights of fussy babies, wet diapers and barfy sheets have given way to this life.
My kids are amazing people. Sometimes I think it's because of me, and other times I'm sure it's in spite of me. They all have a good work ethic, though a bit whiny at times. They look out for each other (when they're not trying to kill one another). They're responsible and respectful. They're intelligent and active and soak up information like little sponges. I'm continually amazed at the connections their minds make.
Tristan has a job; a real job with a paycheck and FICA and everything. He's one of 3 sophomores to make it into the High School Jazz Band. He does his own laundry and he can cook some basic stuff. I have no doubt he could tackle more complicated recipes if he wanted to. He shoots hoops in the back yard almost everyday and he's developing a social life too.
Shannon is a teenager wanting to hold on to her childhood. She cares about what she wears, but most days she forgets earrings and I still have to remind her to put on deodorant. She takes looooong hot showers, prompting her father to bang on the door, shouting something about hot water and not having a sauna on purpose (makes me glad this house has a 50 gallon hot water heater), and yet she still plays with and treasures her American Girl doll.
Alana is mischievous and brilliant, which has the potential to be a deadly combination. She is, however, a terrible liar, so far, and I'm hoping that doesn't change anytime soon. She's had a mind of her own since before she was born, and I love and hate that about her. She's loving and sweet, knows everything there is to know about Pokemon, and is very loud about her dislike of all things work-like. In spite of her protests, though, she does get her chores done.
And just when my heart swells with pride, I hear the tell-tale signs of trouble and "I didn't MEAN to poke you in the eye."
I knew that, and yet, when I stop to think about it, it hits me pretty hard. I remember when old ladies and older mothers used to tell me to cherish this time because it goes so fast. And I remember, in those days of showering at 3 in the afternoon constantly cleaning up the three 'p's, and always having a small person clinging to me or needing me or whining at me or crying.....I remember thinking that it couldn't go fast enough!
And now I'm wanting to slow time down, just a bit, so I can savor these precious moments that really do go too fast. I don't want to hold my children back from their lives....I just want time to stop ticking by quite so fast. Maybe it's the hint of fall in the air after what seemed like and endless and beautiful summer. Maybe it's the milestones of my oldest as he becomes more and more independent. I don't know, but I find myself wishing that each second lasted a half a second longer.
Ten years ago, I was trying to come to terms with being pregnant for a third time, totally unplanned. I wasn't sure I wanted another child. I had a boy and a girl, the house and the dog. The kids were (mostly) sleeping through the night and we were nearly done with diapers and here I was, pregnant. And really, at that stage, the "baby" didn't seem very real just yet. While I recognized that I had choices, I also knew somehow that this baby was meant to be, so we soldiered on, somewhat reluctantly I'll admit, and made room in our lives for this new precious light.
Now I look forward another ten years and I'll be an empty-nester; possibly even a grandmother (I'm in no hurry, but Tristan will be 25 at that point). It just doesn't seem possible that those seemingly endless nights of fussy babies, wet diapers and barfy sheets have given way to this life.
My kids are amazing people. Sometimes I think it's because of me, and other times I'm sure it's in spite of me. They all have a good work ethic, though a bit whiny at times. They look out for each other (when they're not trying to kill one another). They're responsible and respectful. They're intelligent and active and soak up information like little sponges. I'm continually amazed at the connections their minds make.
Tristan has a job; a real job with a paycheck and FICA and everything. He's one of 3 sophomores to make it into the High School Jazz Band. He does his own laundry and he can cook some basic stuff. I have no doubt he could tackle more complicated recipes if he wanted to. He shoots hoops in the back yard almost everyday and he's developing a social life too.
Shannon is a teenager wanting to hold on to her childhood. She cares about what she wears, but most days she forgets earrings and I still have to remind her to put on deodorant. She takes looooong hot showers, prompting her father to bang on the door, shouting something about hot water and not having a sauna on purpose (makes me glad this house has a 50 gallon hot water heater), and yet she still plays with and treasures her American Girl doll.
Alana is mischievous and brilliant, which has the potential to be a deadly combination. She is, however, a terrible liar, so far, and I'm hoping that doesn't change anytime soon. She's had a mind of her own since before she was born, and I love and hate that about her. She's loving and sweet, knows everything there is to know about Pokemon, and is very loud about her dislike of all things work-like. In spite of her protests, though, she does get her chores done.
And just when my heart swells with pride, I hear the tell-tale signs of trouble and "I didn't MEAN to poke you in the eye."
Friday, August 26, 2011
Heavy heart
There are almost no words.
Our minister is dying.
And our church is in desperate need of leadership and consistency and all the things that a strong minister can bring us.
And we're grieving, and struggling, and uncertain, and sniping at each other and...
and....there's so much more. Youth Leader is about to push me right over the edge, and the Conference (the governing body of each geographic area of the United Methodist church) has thoroughly let us down, mostly by sticking their heads in the sand and playing pretend with a lot of other people.
and.....
The one bright-ish light is that a former minister, who is now retired, is coming back for a 3-month stay. I don't know if he can/will stay on until a new minister is appointed, which is usually done in June.....generally, if a minister is available now, there's a reason.
*sigh*
And she's dying....so very gracefully.
Our minister is dying.
And our church is in desperate need of leadership and consistency and all the things that a strong minister can bring us.
And we're grieving, and struggling, and uncertain, and sniping at each other and...
and....there's so much more. Youth Leader is about to push me right over the edge, and the Conference (the governing body of each geographic area of the United Methodist church) has thoroughly let us down, mostly by sticking their heads in the sand and playing pretend with a lot of other people.
and.....
The one bright-ish light is that a former minister, who is now retired, is coming back for a 3-month stay. I don't know if he can/will stay on until a new minister is appointed, which is usually done in June.....generally, if a minister is available now, there's a reason.
*sigh*
And she's dying....so very gracefully.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking...into the future
I'm feeling a bit nostalgic and melancholy today, plus a whole bunch of other stuff because I'm a girl and I've usually got about a dozen emotions going on.
School started yesterday. My kids are in 4th, 8th, and 10th grades. I have an official High Schooler who proudly possesses a Learner's Permit, in spite of the fact that he can't get his license for nearly a year. Funny the juxtaposition as he races towards growing up and I keep trying to hold back the sands of time and savor, just for a moment, this precise instant.
I suppose there's nothing like a child to remind you just how quickly time passes. People used to say that to me all the time and I thought they were full of crap, but it's true. I can't hardly believe how amazing they are and how grown up they are. There are days when that overwhelms me and I have to take a moment and remember to breathe.
Those moments are usually shattered by shouts of "Mo-om!" Which is then followed by more hollering about who did what to whom and how it's not fair!
I find myself sitting here, basically wasting time on various games, advice columns, and blogs, and wondering just what kind of life I want for myself. All of a sudden, I have uncounted hours stretching before me, just waiting for me to fill them. I realize that it's only the second day of school, and I'm trying hard not to listen to that voice inside my head telling me that I *should* be organized and my house *should* be spotless. Really? Says who?! LOL!
The time will come, and come soon. I don't do idleness very well. Not to mention that my back won't stand for too much lolly-gagging in this chair. And, of course, activities are starting again, with a vengance, so I'm already juggling a few things--music lessons, work, meetings, back to school night, and more. It'll all come together, or it won't. And either way, I'm going to enjoy it. In a few years, one of my chicks will have flown the nest and I want to savor this time.
School started yesterday. My kids are in 4th, 8th, and 10th grades. I have an official High Schooler who proudly possesses a Learner's Permit, in spite of the fact that he can't get his license for nearly a year. Funny the juxtaposition as he races towards growing up and I keep trying to hold back the sands of time and savor, just for a moment, this precise instant.
I suppose there's nothing like a child to remind you just how quickly time passes. People used to say that to me all the time and I thought they were full of crap, but it's true. I can't hardly believe how amazing they are and how grown up they are. There are days when that overwhelms me and I have to take a moment and remember to breathe.
Those moments are usually shattered by shouts of "Mo-om!" Which is then followed by more hollering about who did what to whom and how it's not fair!
I find myself sitting here, basically wasting time on various games, advice columns, and blogs, and wondering just what kind of life I want for myself. All of a sudden, I have uncounted hours stretching before me, just waiting for me to fill them. I realize that it's only the second day of school, and I'm trying hard not to listen to that voice inside my head telling me that I *should* be organized and my house *should* be spotless. Really? Says who?! LOL!
The time will come, and come soon. I don't do idleness very well. Not to mention that my back won't stand for too much lolly-gagging in this chair. And, of course, activities are starting again, with a vengance, so I'm already juggling a few things--music lessons, work, meetings, back to school night, and more. It'll all come together, or it won't. And either way, I'm going to enjoy it. In a few years, one of my chicks will have flown the nest and I want to savor this time.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Deep Thoughts
So, I've been spinning some stuff around in my head and I need to get it out or I'll explode. However, I'm not sure how public I want it to be, truly, because there's a lot of "dirty laundry" and sensitive stuff in it.....I don't really even know why I'm so sensitive about it, but I am.
I turn 40 in December. Trish turns 40 in March of next year. We've been planning/discussing a trip to somewhere to celebrate this monumental event. The last time we did this, however, Bruce was a total pain in the butt about it, right up until I got on the stupid plane. I still don't know what his problem was about it, but he had issues over the whole thing.
Some of his issues seemed to be that he didn't want me to go somewhere he hadn't been or that we hadn't been together, and since we had never been to Mexico or on a beach vacation, he got all upset. I really think now that that was a red herring and there's more going on, but that's what he *said* about it.
So, Trish and I decided to go to DC next summer (yes, I know DC in the summer time is hot, humid mess, but she's a school teacher so that's when we can go, so we'll make the best of it). Bruce and I have been there twice with the kids, and Bruce has been there several times on business, so it seemed a bit safer than some exotic destination.
And yet, when I proposed this to Bruce, he immediately decided that we'd all go as a family instead. Um, wha....? Even Shannon saw that as an idiotic idea.
And Bruce is still not on board with this. First, there's the money issue. But again, I think that's a red herring. We can afford for me to go, especially if I have a year to save up for it. Our budget is based almost solely on Bruce's income, so my substitute teaching income can (and will) be set aside for this trip. Not to mention, if we can't afford for me to go alone, how in the world can we afford for the whole family to go?!
Bruce has 3 sisters who live in the DC area. We visited them in 2001 and 2003 for family events. Two of the 3 have not been out this way since our wedding…..17 years ago. The other sister came out sometime between our two trips, but I can’t remember. She was here for Christmas, but it was before Alana was born, and I wasn’t pregnant with Alana either. So I guess it had to be 2000. (See how my fuddled brain works out these things?! LOL!). The DC sisters have not seen their parents since 2003, I don’t think. I could be wrong about that, but it’s been awhile. Several grandchildren have been out to visit, but they wouldn’t recognize the changes in MIL because they probably don’t remember much about her from other trips.
More background: MIL’s health is declining. She’s having short-term memory problems. She’s very overweight (she weighs at least 350 lbs), has high blood pressure, cholesterol issues, and type 2 diabetes, plus macular degeneration. She’s 84, and some of this is to be expected, I suppose, but she hasn’t taken very good care of herself, either.
And a final note….Bruce’s niece is getting married in DC this weekend. We’d previously decided that none of us were going. Bruce had wanted just the two of us to go because the hotel and rental car are the same whether there’s one or two people in it. However, there’s the added cost of a plane ticket, plus a babysitter here, and all the fallderall that entails. It might be nice, but I just don’t want to go. August 6th just happens to be our anniversary, and spending it with the Outlaws doesn’t excite me in the slightest.
The Outlaws are planning to attend the wedding, though now MIL is moaning about how she’s not sure she’ll make it, etc. I hope, for the sisters’ sake, she does go. They really have no idea how her health has changed in the last few years. Bruce thinks she’s not going to live much longer and I know the sisters will feel terrible if they don’t see her again. I don’t think there’s any malice or anything in their not visiting…..they all have busy lives and I’m sure they’ve just mentally put their parents in that place where they’ll always be there.
So Bruce hemmed and hawed around about whether or not to go to the wedding, and finally decided, about 10 days ago, that he did, indeed, want to go if I could find him a decently-priced plane ticket. However, by the time he made that decision, it was less than 2 weeks to his trip, and the price of that ticket jumped $200 overnight. I'd predicted this. He does this often, debating and fussing and not making a decision until it's too late and it's out of his hands. It's a very passive way of living and it drives me CRAZY!
Now, since I'm being honest, he doesn't seem to have a problem with living his life this way. And, in generally, his laid-back non-planning tends to balance out my over-planning, and it's all good. In cases like this, where some planning is required, and my hands are tied, well, notsomuch.
So, here we are a couple of days before the wedding. He returned from the mission trip (10 days in CA with the youth group) on Monday morning, at the un-godly hour of 3 am. And, had he gone to the wedding, he'd be leaving today, just 3 days later. He is exhausted and buried at work, and really rather glad he's not getting on a plane today or tomorrow. Oh, and he's got another business trip next week.
My concern is that, when the time comes for us to once again discuss my DC trip, he'll rewrite his reasons and make it somehow my fault and/or responsibility that he didn't go. Never mind that I spent hours researching flights into 3 different airports, searching different days and websites trying to find something to make this work. Nope. Somehow it'll all be about how he made some sort of sacrifice for me or something. This is part of why I want to get this written down now, so I can show him date stamped proof that I predicted this would happen. Maybe I should print this out and mail it to myself so I'll have the post mark? But really, if I have to go to those lengths, what the heck?! I have to be *right*? We all know I am, and doing that won't serve any purpose.....or maybe it could. I'll have to think on that one a bit more.
I also often get the "you just hate my family" and "you don't know how to forgive" nonsense out of him in our "discussions" about these topics.
But here's the deep thought I had today (actually there are several....bear with me).
As I thought about those statements, which I've heard a million times, I realized that Bruce probably doesn't actually believe them. He just wants me to do what he wants me to do. By choosing NOT to visit his parents or choosing NOT to attend the wedding (for reasons that have *nothing* to do with his family), his life got complicated and a little painful. So, if he can throw hurtful things at me, which gets me to argue back and/or attempt to prove him wrong, he gets his easy life back. I don't think he's thought this all out. It's not a conscious thing. It's a serious knee-jerk reaction, and when I'm calm, I can practically see the knee go "pop."
But it's hurtful, nonetheless.
Okay. But it's still not true. And I'm learning more and more to listen to Truth and only truth. I could drag out all kinds of examples of how I don't hate his family, and how I do know how to forgive, but then we're not really talking about Truth anymore. And we never were.
The same goes for his "forgiveness" tirade. The last time he threw that one at me, I asked him to clarify what he meant by "forgive" and what that would look like in practice. He couldn't do it. Probably because what he meant wasn't so much about forgiveness, but more about doing what made HIS life easy by visiting his parents with him (this was all sparked when he said "We should visit" and I said "Have fun!").
His working definition of forgiveness, at least when I'm the one doing it, seems to be that I'm supposed to get amnesia and forget that his mother was ever nasty to me and walk back into that lion's den to be treated crappy all over again. Sorry, buddy. Not happening. I'm no longer angry and bitter, though I do still get a bit melancholy over what could've been. I've let it go, but I'm also not an idiot and I'm not going back.
I see no point in my visiting. None. Not even "for him." That ship sailed a long time ago when he failed to believe me, when he failed to call his mother out on her nastiness, when he failed to protect me. He could've made this a better situation, but he chose to bury his head in the sand, tell me to deal with it because his mother's "never going to change" and now we're here. And each time we have this fight, it erodes my trust in him even further. That's what makes me sad and angry. It's not about his mother, and really, it never was.
I still don't know what's up with Bruce not wanting me to go on my DC trip. I don't think he really knows, but the thing is, it's not up to me to solve that piece of it. It's up to him to deal with. The same is true for the whole "you hate my family thing." That's not truth; and it's not my problem to solve.
I've been solving his emotional problems for so long that it's just a habit. It started mostly because I'm good at it, and it's easier for me to take it over and do it. Just like we've divided certain household tasks.....in general, we play to our strengths and help each other in weak areas. I don't mow lawns. He rarely does laundry and I can't remember the last time he had to wield a toilet brush. He does all kinds of fun things with the kids, but I do the emotional stuff.
In this case, however, in the long run, I'm not doing any of us any favors. And it's exhausting. Truly. And I get frustrated and resentful because I'm doing all the work while he never has to grow up emotionally...not fully anyway.
So those revelations hit me in the last couple of weeks.
Here's what's new.....(drumroll please)
I don't have to make him understand.
In doing that, in trying to get him to see my side and agree with me, I'm still doing things he should be doing himself.
I don't have to "prove" my Truth to him.
He doesn't have to understand my Truth. I need him to respect it and accept it, and that may take a lot more work, but it's MY Truth. Not his.
I don't have to show him his own Truth either.
That's me still trying to be in control. And I'm not. I never was and I don't want to be. (Well, okay, maybe a little.....)
I turn 40 in December. Trish turns 40 in March of next year. We've been planning/discussing a trip to somewhere to celebrate this monumental event. The last time we did this, however, Bruce was a total pain in the butt about it, right up until I got on the stupid plane. I still don't know what his problem was about it, but he had issues over the whole thing.
Some of his issues seemed to be that he didn't want me to go somewhere he hadn't been or that we hadn't been together, and since we had never been to Mexico or on a beach vacation, he got all upset. I really think now that that was a red herring and there's more going on, but that's what he *said* about it.
So, Trish and I decided to go to DC next summer (yes, I know DC in the summer time is hot, humid mess, but she's a school teacher so that's when we can go, so we'll make the best of it). Bruce and I have been there twice with the kids, and Bruce has been there several times on business, so it seemed a bit safer than some exotic destination.
And yet, when I proposed this to Bruce, he immediately decided that we'd all go as a family instead. Um, wha....? Even Shannon saw that as an idiotic idea.
And Bruce is still not on board with this. First, there's the money issue. But again, I think that's a red herring. We can afford for me to go, especially if I have a year to save up for it. Our budget is based almost solely on Bruce's income, so my substitute teaching income can (and will) be set aside for this trip. Not to mention, if we can't afford for me to go alone, how in the world can we afford for the whole family to go?!
Bruce has 3 sisters who live in the DC area. We visited them in 2001 and 2003 for family events. Two of the 3 have not been out this way since our wedding…..17 years ago. The other sister came out sometime between our two trips, but I can’t remember. She was here for Christmas, but it was before Alana was born, and I wasn’t pregnant with Alana either. So I guess it had to be 2000. (See how my fuddled brain works out these things?! LOL!). The DC sisters have not seen their parents since 2003, I don’t think. I could be wrong about that, but it’s been awhile. Several grandchildren have been out to visit, but they wouldn’t recognize the changes in MIL because they probably don’t remember much about her from other trips.
More background: MIL’s health is declining. She’s having short-term memory problems. She’s very overweight (she weighs at least 350 lbs), has high blood pressure, cholesterol issues, and type 2 diabetes, plus macular degeneration. She’s 84, and some of this is to be expected, I suppose, but she hasn’t taken very good care of herself, either.
And a final note….Bruce’s niece is getting married in DC this weekend. We’d previously decided that none of us were going. Bruce had wanted just the two of us to go because the hotel and rental car are the same whether there’s one or two people in it. However, there’s the added cost of a plane ticket, plus a babysitter here, and all the fallderall that entails. It might be nice, but I just don’t want to go. August 6th just happens to be our anniversary, and spending it with the Outlaws doesn’t excite me in the slightest.
The Outlaws are planning to attend the wedding, though now MIL is moaning about how she’s not sure she’ll make it, etc. I hope, for the sisters’ sake, she does go. They really have no idea how her health has changed in the last few years. Bruce thinks she’s not going to live much longer and I know the sisters will feel terrible if they don’t see her again. I don’t think there’s any malice or anything in their not visiting…..they all have busy lives and I’m sure they’ve just mentally put their parents in that place where they’ll always be there.
So Bruce hemmed and hawed around about whether or not to go to the wedding, and finally decided, about 10 days ago, that he did, indeed, want to go if I could find him a decently-priced plane ticket. However, by the time he made that decision, it was less than 2 weeks to his trip, and the price of that ticket jumped $200 overnight. I'd predicted this. He does this often, debating and fussing and not making a decision until it's too late and it's out of his hands. It's a very passive way of living and it drives me CRAZY!
Now, since I'm being honest, he doesn't seem to have a problem with living his life this way. And, in generally, his laid-back non-planning tends to balance out my over-planning, and it's all good. In cases like this, where some planning is required, and my hands are tied, well, notsomuch.
So, here we are a couple of days before the wedding. He returned from the mission trip (10 days in CA with the youth group) on Monday morning, at the un-godly hour of 3 am. And, had he gone to the wedding, he'd be leaving today, just 3 days later. He is exhausted and buried at work, and really rather glad he's not getting on a plane today or tomorrow. Oh, and he's got another business trip next week.
My concern is that, when the time comes for us to once again discuss my DC trip, he'll rewrite his reasons and make it somehow my fault and/or responsibility that he didn't go. Never mind that I spent hours researching flights into 3 different airports, searching different days and websites trying to find something to make this work. Nope. Somehow it'll all be about how he made some sort of sacrifice for me or something. This is part of why I want to get this written down now, so I can show him date stamped proof that I predicted this would happen. Maybe I should print this out and mail it to myself so I'll have the post mark? But really, if I have to go to those lengths, what the heck?! I have to be *right*? We all know I am, and doing that won't serve any purpose.....or maybe it could. I'll have to think on that one a bit more.
I also often get the "you just hate my family" and "you don't know how to forgive" nonsense out of him in our "discussions" about these topics.
But here's the deep thought I had today (actually there are several....bear with me).
As I thought about those statements, which I've heard a million times, I realized that Bruce probably doesn't actually believe them. He just wants me to do what he wants me to do. By choosing NOT to visit his parents or choosing NOT to attend the wedding (for reasons that have *nothing* to do with his family), his life got complicated and a little painful. So, if he can throw hurtful things at me, which gets me to argue back and/or attempt to prove him wrong, he gets his easy life back. I don't think he's thought this all out. It's not a conscious thing. It's a serious knee-jerk reaction, and when I'm calm, I can practically see the knee go "pop."
But it's hurtful, nonetheless.
Okay. But it's still not true. And I'm learning more and more to listen to Truth and only truth. I could drag out all kinds of examples of how I don't hate his family, and how I do know how to forgive, but then we're not really talking about Truth anymore. And we never were.
The same goes for his "forgiveness" tirade. The last time he threw that one at me, I asked him to clarify what he meant by "forgive" and what that would look like in practice. He couldn't do it. Probably because what he meant wasn't so much about forgiveness, but more about doing what made HIS life easy by visiting his parents with him (this was all sparked when he said "We should visit" and I said "Have fun!").
His working definition of forgiveness, at least when I'm the one doing it, seems to be that I'm supposed to get amnesia and forget that his mother was ever nasty to me and walk back into that lion's den to be treated crappy all over again. Sorry, buddy. Not happening. I'm no longer angry and bitter, though I do still get a bit melancholy over what could've been. I've let it go, but I'm also not an idiot and I'm not going back.
I see no point in my visiting. None. Not even "for him." That ship sailed a long time ago when he failed to believe me, when he failed to call his mother out on her nastiness, when he failed to protect me. He could've made this a better situation, but he chose to bury his head in the sand, tell me to deal with it because his mother's "never going to change" and now we're here. And each time we have this fight, it erodes my trust in him even further. That's what makes me sad and angry. It's not about his mother, and really, it never was.
I still don't know what's up with Bruce not wanting me to go on my DC trip. I don't think he really knows, but the thing is, it's not up to me to solve that piece of it. It's up to him to deal with. The same is true for the whole "you hate my family thing." That's not truth; and it's not my problem to solve.
I've been solving his emotional problems for so long that it's just a habit. It started mostly because I'm good at it, and it's easier for me to take it over and do it. Just like we've divided certain household tasks.....in general, we play to our strengths and help each other in weak areas. I don't mow lawns. He rarely does laundry and I can't remember the last time he had to wield a toilet brush. He does all kinds of fun things with the kids, but I do the emotional stuff.
In this case, however, in the long run, I'm not doing any of us any favors. And it's exhausting. Truly. And I get frustrated and resentful because I'm doing all the work while he never has to grow up emotionally...not fully anyway.
So those revelations hit me in the last couple of weeks.
Here's what's new.....(drumroll please)
I don't have to make him understand.
In doing that, in trying to get him to see my side and agree with me, I'm still doing things he should be doing himself.
I don't have to "prove" my Truth to him.
He doesn't have to understand my Truth. I need him to respect it and accept it, and that may take a lot more work, but it's MY Truth. Not his.
I don't have to show him his own Truth either.
That's me still trying to be in control. And I'm not. I never was and I don't want to be. (Well, okay, maybe a little.....)
Monday, August 1, 2011
Hello. My name is Erica and I'm addicted to Zuma!
So, once again, I’m giving up Zuma Blitz on Facebook. It brings out the worst in me. I enjoy the game, but it’s set up so that you’re competing against your “friends.” I get SO competitive and I was trying to win until 1:00 in the morning. I racked up one million “mojo,” which can be used to buy “powers,” like an early multiplier and the like, and then I went and spent them trying to win. The leader had almost 1.5 million points, which is a *really* high score. Other weeks, a score of 900K would blow everyone out of the water, but not this week, and I was determined to win. Alas, it seemed not to be. I was behind by about 70K points and, by the time I gave up that night, I was seeing things, shooting and completely missing, and my right hand seemed to be permanently shaped like a claw around my mouse. Not good. Not good at all. I had to ice my hand!
I did win the next morning by about 700 points. But now I'm done. It serves no purpose so I'll be moving on to other pursuits.
I did win the next morning by about 700 points. But now I'm done. It serves no purpose so I'll be moving on to other pursuits.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
The Youth Trip for the Boys
The boys are now in California on the youth mission trip. I know I’ve mentioned my difficulties with the Youth Leader (YL) before….well, now Bruce is getting the full measure of her annoyingness. They took the train to Sacramento, which seemed like a good idea at the time, but very few of the group had any experience with trains. See, freight trains take precedence over passenger trains, so that’s one problem. Then, there was some flooding in the Midwest, destroying Amtrak’s tracks, so they’re “borrowing” tracks from Union Pacific, and they’re at the mercy of UP. So, the train was supposed to leave here at 11:30 pm. It didn’t. It was late….very late. We called at 10 and they told us that it would be leaving at 3:30 or so. We went to bed, but I didn’t really sleep. We got up around 1:30 or so and called again. Train not leaving until 4:30. At this point, I told Bruce that I wouldn’t get any sleep, taking “naps” in the middle of the night. So we went to the station at 2:00 so that I could get some sleep. The train finally left near 5:00 am.
In the meantime, the YL was trying to hand off the blame for this to Amtrak, wanting us to “inundate” them with phone calls. Like bugging some poor call center in Wherever, USA would make the train get there sooner? She also told us that we, the parents, chose this. Yes, yes we did. However, our choices were to have parent chaperones drive rental vans straight through the night or take the train. The train seemed like the safer option. Bruce did say that the train ride itself was a pleasant experience, with more space in their “coach” seats than you get in business or first class on an airplane, and the dining car was really nice with affordable options for breakfast.
They arrived in Sacramento around 5:00 pm, in the middle of rush hour, which is more like the rush hour you see on TV with traffic not moving, etc. The YL didn’t want to try to go get the rental vehicles in that, so she decided that they’d go to dinner. According to her, the *only* option, in downtown Sacramento, was Denny’s. Bruce had a GPS (we replaced the one that was stolen), and his brother lives in the area, so he’s somewhat familiar with it. They were 2 blocks from Old Town Sacramento in one direction, and one block from a major shopping center, but the only choice is Denny’s.
The next morning, they were going to make sandwiches and hand them out to the homeless. Each “family group” was supposed to make 25 sandwiches to hand out. They’re staying in the dorms, so they’ve got a full kitchen to work with, and the family groups consist of 4-5 kids plus an adult. Bruce’s kids are all Boy Scouts, so they’ve done this before with the Salvation Army. And, really? It’s 25 sandwiches. The YL was freaking out about how many sandwiches and if they’d be done in time, etc. Of course, everyone managed to accomplish this project, so off they went to hand them out.
Only the YL didn’t really have a plan. Bruce thought she’d set something up with a local organization. Nope. They were just supposed to go to a park and hand them out. And there weren’t very many homeless people in the park. And, on the way to the park, they said they’d follow Bruce. Well, the park was on the same street they were already on, so he just drove down the road rather than getting on the freeway YL got mad cuz Bruce “just took off” and they got on the freeway……Bruce beat them by 10 minutes.
So, three parks later, they still haven’t found any homeless people. Can you imagine? A group of 30 youth and 6 adults wandering through the parks, asking people if they need a sandwich! It’s funny from here, but Bruce was really annoyed. Bruce finally found the Salvation Army and gave them the sandwiches. The Salvation Army was thrilled to have them and wanted to know if they could work with them some more over the weekend. Too bad YL hadn’t bothered to set this up from the outset!
On Monday and Tuesday, they went to a HUGE food bank warehouse yesterday to help sort donations. It’s essentially the distribution point for most of the metropolitan area, with things going from their warehouses to other food banks throughout the city. They get USDA donations, corporate donations, plus private donations from food drives and such. The USDA stuff has specific guidelines as to where, when and how it’s given out. The kids spent about 6 hours sorting things into piles, bins and boxes for canned goods, dry goods, glass jars (around here, we’re discouraged from giving things that come in glass), and even pet food!
Tuesday, the kids were all standing around a box snickering. Bruce has been around long enough to know that that's never a good thing and sure enough, it was a box of condoms and personal lubricant. Thankfully, and this is probably why he's so good at this stuff, Bruce is very matter-of-fact. He told the kids "Just put it in the 'Personal Hygiene' box and move on!" LOL!
The youth conference started last night, so they had to check out of the dorms and into their hotel yesterday. Once again, YL's craziness reared it's head. She's OCD and yet very disorganized, so she stresses about everything because it just has to be perfect, and it's driving Bruce completely bonkers! LOL
In the meantime, the YL was trying to hand off the blame for this to Amtrak, wanting us to “inundate” them with phone calls. Like bugging some poor call center in Wherever, USA would make the train get there sooner? She also told us that we, the parents, chose this. Yes, yes we did. However, our choices were to have parent chaperones drive rental vans straight through the night or take the train. The train seemed like the safer option. Bruce did say that the train ride itself was a pleasant experience, with more space in their “coach” seats than you get in business or first class on an airplane, and the dining car was really nice with affordable options for breakfast.
They arrived in Sacramento around 5:00 pm, in the middle of rush hour, which is more like the rush hour you see on TV with traffic not moving, etc. The YL didn’t want to try to go get the rental vehicles in that, so she decided that they’d go to dinner. According to her, the *only* option, in downtown Sacramento, was Denny’s. Bruce had a GPS (we replaced the one that was stolen), and his brother lives in the area, so he’s somewhat familiar with it. They were 2 blocks from Old Town Sacramento in one direction, and one block from a major shopping center, but the only choice is Denny’s.
The next morning, they were going to make sandwiches and hand them out to the homeless. Each “family group” was supposed to make 25 sandwiches to hand out. They’re staying in the dorms, so they’ve got a full kitchen to work with, and the family groups consist of 4-5 kids plus an adult. Bruce’s kids are all Boy Scouts, so they’ve done this before with the Salvation Army. And, really? It’s 25 sandwiches. The YL was freaking out about how many sandwiches and if they’d be done in time, etc. Of course, everyone managed to accomplish this project, so off they went to hand them out.
Only the YL didn’t really have a plan. Bruce thought she’d set something up with a local organization. Nope. They were just supposed to go to a park and hand them out. And there weren’t very many homeless people in the park. And, on the way to the park, they said they’d follow Bruce. Well, the park was on the same street they were already on, so he just drove down the road rather than getting on the freeway YL got mad cuz Bruce “just took off” and they got on the freeway……Bruce beat them by 10 minutes.
So, three parks later, they still haven’t found any homeless people. Can you imagine? A group of 30 youth and 6 adults wandering through the parks, asking people if they need a sandwich! It’s funny from here, but Bruce was really annoyed. Bruce finally found the Salvation Army and gave them the sandwiches. The Salvation Army was thrilled to have them and wanted to know if they could work with them some more over the weekend. Too bad YL hadn’t bothered to set this up from the outset!
On Monday and Tuesday, they went to a HUGE food bank warehouse yesterday to help sort donations. It’s essentially the distribution point for most of the metropolitan area, with things going from their warehouses to other food banks throughout the city. They get USDA donations, corporate donations, plus private donations from food drives and such. The USDA stuff has specific guidelines as to where, when and how it’s given out. The kids spent about 6 hours sorting things into piles, bins and boxes for canned goods, dry goods, glass jars (around here, we’re discouraged from giving things that come in glass), and even pet food!
Tuesday, the kids were all standing around a box snickering. Bruce has been around long enough to know that that's never a good thing and sure enough, it was a box of condoms and personal lubricant. Thankfully, and this is probably why he's so good at this stuff, Bruce is very matter-of-fact. He told the kids "Just put it in the 'Personal Hygiene' box and move on!" LOL!
The youth conference started last night, so they had to check out of the dorms and into their hotel yesterday. Once again, YL's craziness reared it's head. She's OCD and yet very disorganized, so she stresses about everything because it just has to be perfect, and it's driving Bruce completely bonkers! LOL
Friday, July 22, 2011
So much to say....
and so little words to say it. That's not quite right, but it's close. I keep thinking "Oh...I should blog about that..." and never doing it. Now that I'm sitting down to do some writing, it all seems so, well, boring really.
Shannon spent the last week at Diabetes camp. This is her third year going and she loves it. She came home exhausted, a bit sunburned, and sporting "tattoos" drawn on her legs by her cabin-mates, plus sparkly toes and crackle-finish fingernails.
Because the boys left during the week (more on that in a minute), it was just Alana and I on Thursday and this morning. I slept in Thursday morning, but then Alana and I went out to lunch. She loves the Chinese buffet and we don't go when Shannon's home because there's gluten everywhere (the soy sauce is probably not gluten-free, plus the breading, sauces, won tons, noodles.....), so that's where we went. It was such a pleasant lunch, talking together, answering her questions and just spending some really good one-on-one time with her.
As has become tradition, we drove into Eden for lunch at the Mad Moose cafe. They've got espresso, sandwiches, soup, salads, etc, and it's always great food with great service for a decent price. They don't bat an eye when making Shannon's sandwich with lettuce instead of bread and she loves it. I had some fancy, yummy, sweet iced coffee concoction, with a burger. I haven't had a burger in AGES, and this was a perfect treat for me. On the way home, we stopped at a couple of fruit stands to buy cherries and raspberries. We'll be making some freezer jam on Sunday.
The boys, as I mentioned, left on Thursday night. Or that was the plan. They were taking the train from here to Sacramento. But, see, trains are a bit, um, flexible and unpredictable. Freight trains take precedence over passenger trains, so Amtrak actually tells you that the train could arrive up to 8 hours late. Yes, really. The train to CA was supposed to leave at 11:30, so the boys were supposed to be there at 10. A little late, but not a huge problem, right?
Yeah. So, the train was late. And getting later. We went to bed, if you can call it that, at 10, after learning that the train would be leaving at 3:00 AM. Yes, the middle of the night. I didn't really sleep, though, and finally gave up around 1:00. Bruce got up a little later, and called Amtrak for an updated departure time. 4:30.
I take sleeping pills or I don't sleep. I can't take those and then plan to drive somewhere in the middle of the night. So, Bruce took pity on me and had me drop them off at 2:00 am instead of 3:00 so that I could come home, take my pills, and get some sleep. The train finally left around 5:00 am.
In the meantime, the youth leader, who planned this adventure, is trying to shift the blame off of herself. She was mad at Amtrak and wanted all of us to be calling them all night long. Because bugging the people at the call center in Wherever USA will make the train arrive sooner? To be fair, this is the option the parents chose. Our other option was to rent vans and have parent chaperones drive straight through. This one seemed much safer.
So the boys are in Sacramento and it's not well organized. Bruce has come to the conclusion that Tristan is probably done with youth group. I've got mixed feelings about that, but mostly they're my own stuff. Youth group was such a fabulous thing in my life when I was Tristan's age. But he's not me. And he's got several other positive things in his life; places where he's making friends and enjoying himself; things that build him up and encourage him. Youth group has become a chore for all of us.
Okay, I've got more, but my fingers are tired and I can't type clearly, so I'm going to bed.
Shannon spent the last week at Diabetes camp. This is her third year going and she loves it. She came home exhausted, a bit sunburned, and sporting "tattoos" drawn on her legs by her cabin-mates, plus sparkly toes and crackle-finish fingernails.
Because the boys left during the week (more on that in a minute), it was just Alana and I on Thursday and this morning. I slept in Thursday morning, but then Alana and I went out to lunch. She loves the Chinese buffet and we don't go when Shannon's home because there's gluten everywhere (the soy sauce is probably not gluten-free, plus the breading, sauces, won tons, noodles.....), so that's where we went. It was such a pleasant lunch, talking together, answering her questions and just spending some really good one-on-one time with her.
As has become tradition, we drove into Eden for lunch at the Mad Moose cafe. They've got espresso, sandwiches, soup, salads, etc, and it's always great food with great service for a decent price. They don't bat an eye when making Shannon's sandwich with lettuce instead of bread and she loves it. I had some fancy, yummy, sweet iced coffee concoction, with a burger. I haven't had a burger in AGES, and this was a perfect treat for me. On the way home, we stopped at a couple of fruit stands to buy cherries and raspberries. We'll be making some freezer jam on Sunday.
The boys, as I mentioned, left on Thursday night. Or that was the plan. They were taking the train from here to Sacramento. But, see, trains are a bit, um, flexible and unpredictable. Freight trains take precedence over passenger trains, so Amtrak actually tells you that the train could arrive up to 8 hours late. Yes, really. The train to CA was supposed to leave at 11:30, so the boys were supposed to be there at 10. A little late, but not a huge problem, right?
Yeah. So, the train was late. And getting later. We went to bed, if you can call it that, at 10, after learning that the train would be leaving at 3:00 AM. Yes, the middle of the night. I didn't really sleep, though, and finally gave up around 1:00. Bruce got up a little later, and called Amtrak for an updated departure time. 4:30.
I take sleeping pills or I don't sleep. I can't take those and then plan to drive somewhere in the middle of the night. So, Bruce took pity on me and had me drop them off at 2:00 am instead of 3:00 so that I could come home, take my pills, and get some sleep. The train finally left around 5:00 am.
In the meantime, the youth leader, who planned this adventure, is trying to shift the blame off of herself. She was mad at Amtrak and wanted all of us to be calling them all night long. Because bugging the people at the call center in Wherever USA will make the train arrive sooner? To be fair, this is the option the parents chose. Our other option was to rent vans and have parent chaperones drive straight through. This one seemed much safer.
So the boys are in Sacramento and it's not well organized. Bruce has come to the conclusion that Tristan is probably done with youth group. I've got mixed feelings about that, but mostly they're my own stuff. Youth group was such a fabulous thing in my life when I was Tristan's age. But he's not me. And he's got several other positive things in his life; places where he's making friends and enjoying himself; things that build him up and encourage him. Youth group has become a chore for all of us.
Okay, I've got more, but my fingers are tired and I can't type clearly, so I'm going to bed.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Truth
Part of the Brave Girl stuff is to learn to recognize the lies we tell ourselves and/or allow others to tell us, particularly about who and what we are. There are several of these that have come to light lately, but for now, they'll stay private as I work with it a bit more and get braver about posting them here.
But, today, my Truth Teller nearly slapped me upside the head.
I'm setting a terrible example for my children. Now, she probably wouldn't phrase it quite like that, so let me edit that. I can and will set a better example for my children. (The Truth Teller is always positive and kind, see.....)
Here's the thing. I set out a few basic rules this summer for the kids. They have to get dressed, brush their teeth and hair, eat and clean up, plus practice their instrument before they can get near anything with a screen.
However, I frequently park myself in front of this box before I'm even awake.
So, starting tomorrow morning......no screen time for me until I've finished a few things too!
But, today, my Truth Teller nearly slapped me upside the head.
I'm setting a terrible example for my children. Now, she probably wouldn't phrase it quite like that, so let me edit that. I can and will set a better example for my children. (The Truth Teller is always positive and kind, see.....)
Here's the thing. I set out a few basic rules this summer for the kids. They have to get dressed, brush their teeth and hair, eat and clean up, plus practice their instrument before they can get near anything with a screen.
However, I frequently park myself in front of this box before I'm even awake.
So, starting tomorrow morning......no screen time for me until I've finished a few things too!
Updates
I keep thinking I need to have "meaningful" posts, rather than just my non-stop rambling, but the reality is that there's meaning in the ramblings. At least for me. And, according to my site meter, no one's really reading anyway, so I guess I'll write for myself.
1. Survived all the family closeness recently. That's a bonus. And, as far as I can tell, there are few if any hurt feelings. I hope anyway.
2. Summer has finally arrived. We've had a few weeks of warm weather, and a few weeks with little to do, so it seems like we're in the full swing of summer and it's nice.
3. My clothesline died. I'm annoyed. It drives me crazy to spend the energy (and $$) to dry things, particularly sheets, that will dry in half the time in the sun for FREE. But I've no where to hang them right now, so there we go. Bruce is scheming to use the holes already in place for the volleyball net to get me a new line. We'll see.
4. Tristan enjoyed Bell Tour. Though, by the end, I think he was peopled out. He's an introvert so being around people all the time is exhausting for him. He had a good time, and I think he'll go again.
5. Now, to work on cutting out some other stuff from his life. This is still a bone of contention with Bruce and I. Every activity the boy has a chance to do is one Bruce thinks he should. We're spending an awful lot of resources on that child and it's wearing me out. Bruce keeps talking about how it's all good stuff and will help keep him out of trouble. True enough, but there's only so much room in one person's life for all that good stuff. And Tristan really isn't inclined to get into too much trouble in the first place! Next summer, for instance, Tristan could go on Bell Tour, to a Boy Scout high adventure camp (Northern Tier), and to Mexico on a mission trip.
6. That was starting to turn into a rant about Bruce and I don't really want to do that. We're turning over new leaves in our marriage and I want to work to build it, not destroy it by ranting all over the very possibly public internet.
7. Bruce's niece is getting married in August in Washington DC. We're not going. It just isn't in our financial plan at the moment. I feel bad, but we've worked so hard, and this really is the first time something like this has come up that Bruce hasn't jumped all over, no matter the cost, and it's his family, so I'm following his lead. Not going means we can send a large gift card instead, and we're really not close to that part of the family. I think that's why Bruce is torn. Geography has played a role in the family distance and he'd like to bridge that. Not to mention, this is the niece everyone is so convinced will be a failure her whole life and we'd like to show her our support.
8. Bruce's parents are going to the wedding. They're flying, after calculating that it would cost 2x as much to drive their motor home out there. This is funny to me because FIL had such a hard time understanding why we'd fly to DisneyWorld instead of driving!
9. Bruce's Washington DC family hasn't seen his parents in a long time. 7 years, if I'm remembering correctly. A couple of the grandchildren have been out this way and have seen them, but I doubt they'd realize just how much MIL's health has deteriorated over the last few years. They're in for a shock, I think. And MIL is talking about how she's not sure she'll go....not sure she can make it, etc. I really hope she does because I just don't think the sisters have any idea how unhealthy she truly is. I'm sure she's not telling them.
10. Bruce thinks his mom isn't going to live for more than about a year. Another reason I hope she goes to the wedding. The sisters really have no idea and I know they'll feel bad having not seen her in so long.
11. Bruce wants to go visit his parents for a weekend again. You can imagine how thrilled I am about that. Yes, there was an argument. But, I think I won in the end. Now he's talking about going to a beer festival up there in September. Since this isn't something the kids and I will enjoy, we're possibly off the hook.
12. Shannon wants to take art lessons. And French. And tennis. Alana wants to take art lessons. And swimming, but only private lessons with our friend who's not doing them this year. And tennis. I'm hoping to find someone who can teach some art stuff locally for cheap.
13. I went to the doctor for my annual check up. To be totally honest, if I didn't need him to authorize a refill of my sleeping meds, and my insurance weren't essentially paying me to do it, I wouldn't go. I have lost a little weight, but it's bouncing up and down by about 2 lbs. Everything looked good, except my vitamin D was low, so I'm now taking my supplements again. So far, I haven't noticed a difference, but it's only been a few days. However, supplements mean I have to eat breakfast (or I'm burping up herbs all morning) and that's a good thing too.
14. My resolve not to play computer games keeps slipping, but I am getting better. I find myself staring at a Zuma Blitz board and wondering just what the heck I'm doing. And I move on to scrapbooking or laundry or something else. I've nearly finished two of the three Disney scrapbooks for the kids.
15. I've decided to catch up on the other stuff by doing it digitally, printing the pages, and slapping them in. My next task is to plan that out a bit. See, digitally, I can work on it just about anywhere, as long as I have power or my battery holds out (not long....the computer's old!). It doesn't make a mess all over a table. I can save the page, half-finished, and walk away. And, I can make one page, and essentially duplicate it for the other kids, swapping pictures in and out. However, I do need to do some planning so I can incorporate memorabilia and "regular" pages in there too. We'll see how it goes.
16. I've started "Soul Work" through the Brave Girls Club, introduced to me by a couple of very dear friends. It's been enlightening and fun. I've been working toward something like this for a long time, with that sense that something's coming, something's out there I need to learn. I don't know that *this* specific thing is what I've been waiting for/looking toward, but it certainly provides a framework for me to further explore things I've been trying to work through on my own.
17. YIKES! Be careful what you type in your browser or you'll find lesbian porn with your daughter sitting just a few feet away.
And with that, I'm going to take a shower and start my day. There are sheets to change and scrapbooks to create!
1. Survived all the family closeness recently. That's a bonus. And, as far as I can tell, there are few if any hurt feelings. I hope anyway.
2. Summer has finally arrived. We've had a few weeks of warm weather, and a few weeks with little to do, so it seems like we're in the full swing of summer and it's nice.
3. My clothesline died. I'm annoyed. It drives me crazy to spend the energy (and $$) to dry things, particularly sheets, that will dry in half the time in the sun for FREE. But I've no where to hang them right now, so there we go. Bruce is scheming to use the holes already in place for the volleyball net to get me a new line. We'll see.
4. Tristan enjoyed Bell Tour. Though, by the end, I think he was peopled out. He's an introvert so being around people all the time is exhausting for him. He had a good time, and I think he'll go again.
5. Now, to work on cutting out some other stuff from his life. This is still a bone of contention with Bruce and I. Every activity the boy has a chance to do is one Bruce thinks he should. We're spending an awful lot of resources on that child and it's wearing me out. Bruce keeps talking about how it's all good stuff and will help keep him out of trouble. True enough, but there's only so much room in one person's life for all that good stuff. And Tristan really isn't inclined to get into too much trouble in the first place! Next summer, for instance, Tristan could go on Bell Tour, to a Boy Scout high adventure camp (Northern Tier), and to Mexico on a mission trip.
6. That was starting to turn into a rant about Bruce and I don't really want to do that. We're turning over new leaves in our marriage and I want to work to build it, not destroy it by ranting all over the very possibly public internet.
7. Bruce's niece is getting married in August in Washington DC. We're not going. It just isn't in our financial plan at the moment. I feel bad, but we've worked so hard, and this really is the first time something like this has come up that Bruce hasn't jumped all over, no matter the cost, and it's his family, so I'm following his lead. Not going means we can send a large gift card instead, and we're really not close to that part of the family. I think that's why Bruce is torn. Geography has played a role in the family distance and he'd like to bridge that. Not to mention, this is the niece everyone is so convinced will be a failure her whole life and we'd like to show her our support.
8. Bruce's parents are going to the wedding. They're flying, after calculating that it would cost 2x as much to drive their motor home out there. This is funny to me because FIL had such a hard time understanding why we'd fly to DisneyWorld instead of driving!
9. Bruce's Washington DC family hasn't seen his parents in a long time. 7 years, if I'm remembering correctly. A couple of the grandchildren have been out this way and have seen them, but I doubt they'd realize just how much MIL's health has deteriorated over the last few years. They're in for a shock, I think. And MIL is talking about how she's not sure she'll go....not sure she can make it, etc. I really hope she does because I just don't think the sisters have any idea how unhealthy she truly is. I'm sure she's not telling them.
10. Bruce thinks his mom isn't going to live for more than about a year. Another reason I hope she goes to the wedding. The sisters really have no idea and I know they'll feel bad having not seen her in so long.
11. Bruce wants to go visit his parents for a weekend again. You can imagine how thrilled I am about that. Yes, there was an argument. But, I think I won in the end. Now he's talking about going to a beer festival up there in September. Since this isn't something the kids and I will enjoy, we're possibly off the hook.
12. Shannon wants to take art lessons. And French. And tennis. Alana wants to take art lessons. And swimming, but only private lessons with our friend who's not doing them this year. And tennis. I'm hoping to find someone who can teach some art stuff locally for cheap.
13. I went to the doctor for my annual check up. To be totally honest, if I didn't need him to authorize a refill of my sleeping meds, and my insurance weren't essentially paying me to do it, I wouldn't go. I have lost a little weight, but it's bouncing up and down by about 2 lbs. Everything looked good, except my vitamin D was low, so I'm now taking my supplements again. So far, I haven't noticed a difference, but it's only been a few days. However, supplements mean I have to eat breakfast (or I'm burping up herbs all morning) and that's a good thing too.
14. My resolve not to play computer games keeps slipping, but I am getting better. I find myself staring at a Zuma Blitz board and wondering just what the heck I'm doing. And I move on to scrapbooking or laundry or something else. I've nearly finished two of the three Disney scrapbooks for the kids.
15. I've decided to catch up on the other stuff by doing it digitally, printing the pages, and slapping them in. My next task is to plan that out a bit. See, digitally, I can work on it just about anywhere, as long as I have power or my battery holds out (not long....the computer's old!). It doesn't make a mess all over a table. I can save the page, half-finished, and walk away. And, I can make one page, and essentially duplicate it for the other kids, swapping pictures in and out. However, I do need to do some planning so I can incorporate memorabilia and "regular" pages in there too. We'll see how it goes.
16. I've started "Soul Work" through the Brave Girls Club, introduced to me by a couple of very dear friends. It's been enlightening and fun. I've been working toward something like this for a long time, with that sense that something's coming, something's out there I need to learn. I don't know that *this* specific thing is what I've been waiting for/looking toward, but it certainly provides a framework for me to further explore things I've been trying to work through on my own.
17. YIKES! Be careful what you type in your browser or you'll find lesbian porn with your daughter sitting just a few feet away.
And with that, I'm going to take a shower and start my day. There are sheets to change and scrapbooks to create!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
On Wellness
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, especially after Lent and how things went with that particular challenge. I started out looking to get rid of the junk in my life, from my home, my body, and my mind. The results were pretty great, really. I got rid of things in my home that had been weighing me down, and I got rid of things that I never should’ve been putting in my body to begin with. I got rid of computer games and found less back pain. Since Lent, I haven’t been as diligent and it shows. My weight has crept back up, which isn’t really the whole point, for me, but it’s an indication that things aren’t quite right.
Further, as you well know, I’m exhausted all the time and WAY too busy to enjoy my life. In sorting out my craft room , I realized that I miss working on those creative pursuits. But I fill my days with other things—facebook games, TV, PTA, and church things…..laundry and all my insane to-dos that are never done. I’m going a million miles an hour and not enjoying much of it. I don’t let myself have any down time, and I spend entirely too much time in front of this machine, while life just cruises on by.
So, the word for this summer is wellness. I’m still fleshing out what that means in my life, but I know some things. First, I must, must, MUST do something creative every day. It can be as simple as creating something new and different for dinner or solving a problem, but I’m fueled by those moments. I love to write. I love to read. I love to scrapbook and sew. I miss those things and I’m going to add them back into my life. It’s not selfish to pursue them. That’s the lie I’m struggling with at the moment, and the one that just might be the hardest to overcome. I don’t know where I got the idea that doing things I enjoy is selfish, but there it is. Somehow, somewhere I learned that, if I’m enjoying something, I’m shirking some other duty. The words aren’t quite right to convey the feeling, but it’s there. I feel guilty if I’m doing something I enjoy, like I shouldn’t be doing it. I’m going to have to give that some more thought.
I need to start with some basic things. I want to eat breakfast. I want to move my body. Well, okay, so maybe I don’t want to move my body so much, but I do want to feel good, and I feel good when I’m doing something active….or at least I feel good later. I want to take my supplements. I’m not sure when or how this one fell by the wayside, but it did and my body isn’t happy about it. I’m finding I get more hot flashes in the middle of the night at certain hormonal times….those were controlled by herbal supplements before. And heaven knows I have enough trouble sleeping as it is!
Why is it so easy to break good habits? Why is it so hard to break bad ones? Why is it so hard to establish those good habits in the first place?
Wellness also means spiritual disciplines for me…..that can be anything from yoga to writing to reading the Bible. God speaks to me in those quiet times and I love those moments. Those moments are essential for my well-being and there just aren’t enough of them in my life.
Further, as you well know, I’m exhausted all the time and WAY too busy to enjoy my life. In sorting out my craft room , I realized that I miss working on those creative pursuits. But I fill my days with other things—facebook games, TV, PTA, and church things…..laundry and all my insane to-dos that are never done. I’m going a million miles an hour and not enjoying much of it. I don’t let myself have any down time, and I spend entirely too much time in front of this machine, while life just cruises on by.
So, the word for this summer is wellness. I’m still fleshing out what that means in my life, but I know some things. First, I must, must, MUST do something creative every day. It can be as simple as creating something new and different for dinner or solving a problem, but I’m fueled by those moments. I love to write. I love to read. I love to scrapbook and sew. I miss those things and I’m going to add them back into my life. It’s not selfish to pursue them. That’s the lie I’m struggling with at the moment, and the one that just might be the hardest to overcome. I don’t know where I got the idea that doing things I enjoy is selfish, but there it is. Somehow, somewhere I learned that, if I’m enjoying something, I’m shirking some other duty. The words aren’t quite right to convey the feeling, but it’s there. I feel guilty if I’m doing something I enjoy, like I shouldn’t be doing it. I’m going to have to give that some more thought.
I need to start with some basic things. I want to eat breakfast. I want to move my body. Well, okay, so maybe I don’t want to move my body so much, but I do want to feel good, and I feel good when I’m doing something active….or at least I feel good later. I want to take my supplements. I’m not sure when or how this one fell by the wayside, but it did and my body isn’t happy about it. I’m finding I get more hot flashes in the middle of the night at certain hormonal times….those were controlled by herbal supplements before. And heaven knows I have enough trouble sleeping as it is!
Why is it so easy to break good habits? Why is it so hard to break bad ones? Why is it so hard to establish those good habits in the first place?
Wellness also means spiritual disciplines for me…..that can be anything from yoga to writing to reading the Bible. God speaks to me in those quiet times and I love those moments. Those moments are essential for my well-being and there just aren’t enough of them in my life.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Coincidence?
I'm PMSing.
I'm also surrounded by idiots!
I don't think one has anything to do with the other.
I'm also surrounded by idiots!
I don't think one has anything to do with the other.
Friday, June 17, 2011
And still more
(this feels a bit like cheating, but typing it all out would feel like repeating myself so....)
From May 17:
Per the enclosed article [note: I sent him an article about the preacher predicting the end of the world on May 21], if you get this letter, well, the world didn’t end. If you don’t get the letter, well, I hope I’ll be meeting you on the other side.
Shannon was confirmed on Sunday, so she’s now a full member of the United Methodist church and has voting rights in our local congregation. We’ve got a big meeting tonight, voting on whether or not to become a Reconciling Congregation, supporting the ability of gay/lesbian/transgendered persons to marry in the congregation and/or hold positions of authority, including being ordained as ministers. As you can imagine, this issue is dividing the denomination across the country, with some churches adamantly opposed to it, while others are in full support. Our particular church will probably pass it, though we won’t be at the meeting because the kids have a concert at school. Sadly, our denomination has come out with conflicting statements on the subject, saying that such behaviors are “incompatible with Christian teaching,” while also trying to uphold the dignity of all human beings. Because the church is made up of human beings, it is inherently flawed, and therefore, some have used the “incompatible” clause as a means to be mean and nasty to folks. As you can tell, I’m a bit in the middle, though leaning decidedly left. We have a couple of gay couples in our congregation and it doesn’t seem that strange to me. I come back to God as love and therefore we are called, above all, to love one another. It is not up to me, by any stretch, to decide if they (or anyone) are going up or down, kwim? But I also don’t like the way the issue is dividing the congregation and the denomination, creating such hostility. I don’t think God wants that either. *sigh*
So that was a bit heavy, wasn’t it?!
Mom and Dad did come for the confirmation, as did the Outlaws. It went as well as can be expected. MIL wasn’t horrible, though she’s just an odd duck. And she appears to be dealing with some short-term memory issues. She asked my parents three times in an afternoon where they’re living now.
Other conversations were just as amusing.
Me: Mom, here’s this great article I saved about local gluten-free stuff, including a website that reviews gluten-free food.
Mom: That’ll be a handy site
Me: Yep
MIL: I’ve got some gluten-free stuff at my house. How’s the flavor of that stuff? Do you think I could eat it?
Me: It’s hit and miss, but you could try it (thinking “WTH? Why would she have GF food? We haven’t been there in AGES”)
Conversation continues, including a mention of local bakeries that do big GF cakes for weddings, graduations, etc.
Mom, putting the paper on the sofa: Great article, Erica. Lots of great information.
MIL picks up the paper a few minutes later. Erica? Did you see this article on gluten-free foods?
Hello? Was she even there for the last 10 minutes? She actively participated in the conversation, so it’s not like she just walked in and randomly picked up the paper.
FIL seems to be having some issues too, but not as obvious or repetitive as MIL’s. Your family was over (and they went to church with us too), plus all the grandparents, for a total of 14 people in my kitchen for dinner. Your dad helped me make his “world famous” uber-simple noodles…..the ones with olive oil, garlic, basil, and parmesan cheese. So, after the meal, and your family’s departure for your grandparents’ party up north, the Outlaws started asking questions. I’d told them that we were going to have dinner in the mid-afternoon after the Pickett people got home from church that ended at 2:00. What church? They already went to church. No, they came for Shannon and then went to their ward. They’re Mormon? Yep (remember, MIL thinks that ya’ll are the root of all evil in her life). From MIL: But they’re such nice people! And FIL: But Marcus was confirmed today (yes, he said “MarcUs” and Marcos wasn’t even AT church—he thought 9:00 am was way too early). Um, no. He’s got a brother in the mission field, “my” missionary son that I got to talk to on Mother’s Day. Oh.
Not 20 minutes later, we had the same conversation all over again, including FIL *insisting* that MarcUs was confirmed at my church. LOL!
MIL still can’t get her head around the gluten-free thing. Some of that, I think, is her own ignorance, in spite of watching “The Doctors” religiously on TV (it’s a daytime talk show), and some of that is because she doesn’t see us very often. And this is a new-fangled disease that wasn’t around back in the day. She kept asking if Shannon could have gluten if it was cooked. And she had a hard time with the reasoning behind keeping Shannon’s peanut butter, jam, margarine and the like separated (I’ve got it marked with red masking tape). But she respected it. Or not. I really didn’t give her many opportunities not to. I put Shannon’s butter right in front of her, for instance, and it stayed there through the whole meal.
I contrast that with my parents asking carefully about things, including which toaster they can use, and your dad, who used a gluten-y spoon to wipe the garlic off the garlic-smoosher and immediately told me so that I wouldn’t use it for the garlic for Shannon. When I contrast the two, I really can’t tell if it’s a lack of experience or a lack of give-a-darn with my MIL, kwim?
One of Bruce’s nieces is getting married in August. I don’t know if any of us will be going to the wedding, though we’ll probably try to at least send Bruce. This niece has struggled with mental issues most of her life, OCD tendencies and the like, and she’s been finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder and is on a good combination of meds. She seems to be doing well, holding down a job, living with her boyfriend in Minnesota. They’ve been together at least 2 years. But MIL is convinced that the marriage won’t last. I think she’s been listening to the family members who’ve said for years that Niece’s problems were all because she didn’t have enough discipline/consequences as a child. These same family members predict gloom and doom for this poor child all the time, selling her short and poo-poohing any accomplishment. MAKES ME CRAZY! I hate it when people do that to other people. Like deciding that Marcos, with his struggles in school, will never be successful at anything. Sure, he’ll struggle with school, but he’s got other strengths that I think will serve him well. Niece is the same way.
Speaking of Marcos, he and Tristan built some shelves for the shed in your yard and Marcos was SO proud! I think he’d do really well at some kind of hands-on field like carpentry or plumbing or even cooking. He’s just got to find his niche.
Tristan developed strep over the weekend. He had insulin pump issues so his sugar got really high, and then he got a headache and sore throat, followed by a fever. He didn’t go to church with us, and he didn’t really participate in the meal afterwards either. MIL was convinced he was dying and his horrible parents weren’t doing anything about it (I was waiting it out…if I rush them to the doctor every time they get a fever, well, I might as well move in!). My mom thought he had a migraine and offered us some of her prescription migraine meds. Um, NO! Sunday night we decided to take him to Urgent Care, since the fever was creeping back up and we could tell his tonsils were swollen (he was talking like he had a huge gumball in his mouth) and the test came back positive. We got home around 11:30 and all the grandparents were still up. MIL said “she couldn’t sleep until she knew he was okay,” and my mom just worries about this stuff. So he stayed home from school yesterday, the mandatory 24-hour “quarantine” to keep it from spreading, and he was back to wrestling with Bruce last night.
Bruce called his parents to make sure they got home okay. MIL first insisted they’d called, but there was no record of that on any of our phones. Then she grilled Bruce again about Tristan and he repeated the same info we’d given her Sunday night and Monday morning. *sigh*
From May 18 [mundane and boring, but here it is]:
I had a lovely visitor today, from Murray’s finest. I was hoping it was about my break in and them telling me that they’d found my camera or the GPS. Nope. It seems that they were getting repeated hang-up 911 calls from a cell phone that they’d traced back to my house. Um? Say what?! So, I polled the kids, checked all the phones, and nothing. The calls were coming from an “unregistered” phone, meaning one that currently did not have actual service. And, they’d traced the *signal,* not the number, to within 0 meters of my house. I thought they only did that on TV! The officer was very nice, and said that the important thing was that everyone was okay and we didn’t need any emergency services.
Today, at work, I got a call from Shannon at school. She was in tears, poor thing. Her insulin pump had run out of insulin and she didn’t have all the supplies she needed at school so she was very upset. It really wasn’t a big deal, honestly, and I don’t know why she was in tears over it. She didn’t really know either! So, I took off and got her the things she needed and she went off to class. I’ll never completely understand teenagers, even when I was one!
I was right about our church. They voted to become a Reconciling Congregation. I hope it doesn’t create more division.
We got the house mostly put back together after a weekend of a zillion visitors. The trailer came down yesterday, after a fortuitous break in the weather that allowed it to dry out. I’m waiting for sunny skies to wash the sheets as I like to dry them outside on the clothesline.
The kids had a concert last night, both orchestra (Shannon) and symphonic band (Tristan), plus a couple of songs combining the two. It was really good. It’s been a long road to get here, going to concerts from the time they were in elementary school, squeaking along on stage! But they’ve all made such progress and it’s wonderful to hear and enjoy.
May 20, 2011
This “Rapture” stuff has gone viral! It’s really funny. One of the local news stations put a “Just in Case They’re Right” forecast up, with just a temperature for Saturday, and nothing for that night or the rest of next week…..it’s just an empty graphic! Too funny! There’s also a FaceBook event titled “Post-Rapture Looting,” for those who are left behind. The comments are hilarious! Talk of attending if they’re not too hung over from the pre-rapture partying, lists of things they’ve got their eyes on (houses, furniture, cars). It’s gotten pretty ridiculous. What do these people do when it doesn’t happen? This guy is absolutely positive that *now* is the time. His followers believe it too. What do you do when you’ve staked your whole life on something like this? I know! I’ll send some fresh-faced Mormon boys over there!
Talked to my friend whose inlaws were killed. She’d called the state police for one reason or another and spoke to one of the responding officers. Well, on her way to Boise, she was pulled over for speeding….by the same officer! He took her to where they had the car and let her remove their personal belongings from it. She said it was really hard, but she was glad she did it and not her husband because it would’ve been that much more difficult for him. She seems to be doing all right, but I worry. I don’t think she’s getting much sleep.
It’s raining. Again. Some more. Forever. Maybe the rapture isn’t such a bad idea? I’m sick sick SICK of the rain! This morning, we had a thunderstorm that shook the rafters and landed Alana in bed with us. I was a little surprised we didn’t have all 3 kids plus the dogs up there with us! The back yard looks like a jungle and I may never get to use my clothes line. The garden seems okay, but we haven’t been able to spray the apples. It’s pointless to do it until the rain lets up a bit or the spray just gets washed away, but we need to do it before the blossoms close up completely to keep the worms out (the worms form in the seed/center of the apple and eat their way out). It could be a banner crop of apples this year…..full of worms! *sigh*
From May 17:
Per the enclosed article [note: I sent him an article about the preacher predicting the end of the world on May 21], if you get this letter, well, the world didn’t end. If you don’t get the letter, well, I hope I’ll be meeting you on the other side.
Shannon was confirmed on Sunday, so she’s now a full member of the United Methodist church and has voting rights in our local congregation. We’ve got a big meeting tonight, voting on whether or not to become a Reconciling Congregation, supporting the ability of gay/lesbian/transgendered persons to marry in the congregation and/or hold positions of authority, including being ordained as ministers. As you can imagine, this issue is dividing the denomination across the country, with some churches adamantly opposed to it, while others are in full support. Our particular church will probably pass it, though we won’t be at the meeting because the kids have a concert at school. Sadly, our denomination has come out with conflicting statements on the subject, saying that such behaviors are “incompatible with Christian teaching,” while also trying to uphold the dignity of all human beings. Because the church is made up of human beings, it is inherently flawed, and therefore, some have used the “incompatible” clause as a means to be mean and nasty to folks. As you can tell, I’m a bit in the middle, though leaning decidedly left. We have a couple of gay couples in our congregation and it doesn’t seem that strange to me. I come back to God as love and therefore we are called, above all, to love one another. It is not up to me, by any stretch, to decide if they (or anyone) are going up or down, kwim? But I also don’t like the way the issue is dividing the congregation and the denomination, creating such hostility. I don’t think God wants that either. *sigh*
So that was a bit heavy, wasn’t it?!
Mom and Dad did come for the confirmation, as did the Outlaws. It went as well as can be expected. MIL wasn’t horrible, though she’s just an odd duck. And she appears to be dealing with some short-term memory issues. She asked my parents three times in an afternoon where they’re living now.
Other conversations were just as amusing.
Me: Mom, here’s this great article I saved about local gluten-free stuff, including a website that reviews gluten-free food.
Mom: That’ll be a handy site
Me: Yep
MIL: I’ve got some gluten-free stuff at my house. How’s the flavor of that stuff? Do you think I could eat it?
Me: It’s hit and miss, but you could try it (thinking “WTH? Why would she have GF food? We haven’t been there in AGES”)
Conversation continues, including a mention of local bakeries that do big GF cakes for weddings, graduations, etc.
Mom, putting the paper on the sofa: Great article, Erica. Lots of great information.
MIL picks up the paper a few minutes later. Erica? Did you see this article on gluten-free foods?
Hello? Was she even there for the last 10 minutes? She actively participated in the conversation, so it’s not like she just walked in and randomly picked up the paper.
FIL seems to be having some issues too, but not as obvious or repetitive as MIL’s. Your family was over (and they went to church with us too), plus all the grandparents, for a total of 14 people in my kitchen for dinner. Your dad helped me make his “world famous” uber-simple noodles…..the ones with olive oil, garlic, basil, and parmesan cheese. So, after the meal, and your family’s departure for your grandparents’ party up north, the Outlaws started asking questions. I’d told them that we were going to have dinner in the mid-afternoon after the Pickett people got home from church that ended at 2:00. What church? They already went to church. No, they came for Shannon and then went to their ward. They’re Mormon? Yep (remember, MIL thinks that ya’ll are the root of all evil in her life). From MIL: But they’re such nice people! And FIL: But Marcus was confirmed today (yes, he said “MarcUs” and Marcos wasn’t even AT church—he thought 9:00 am was way too early). Um, no. He’s got a brother in the mission field, “my” missionary son that I got to talk to on Mother’s Day. Oh.
Not 20 minutes later, we had the same conversation all over again, including FIL *insisting* that MarcUs was confirmed at my church. LOL!
MIL still can’t get her head around the gluten-free thing. Some of that, I think, is her own ignorance, in spite of watching “The Doctors” religiously on TV (it’s a daytime talk show), and some of that is because she doesn’t see us very often. And this is a new-fangled disease that wasn’t around back in the day. She kept asking if Shannon could have gluten if it was cooked. And she had a hard time with the reasoning behind keeping Shannon’s peanut butter, jam, margarine and the like separated (I’ve got it marked with red masking tape). But she respected it. Or not. I really didn’t give her many opportunities not to. I put Shannon’s butter right in front of her, for instance, and it stayed there through the whole meal.
I contrast that with my parents asking carefully about things, including which toaster they can use, and your dad, who used a gluten-y spoon to wipe the garlic off the garlic-smoosher and immediately told me so that I wouldn’t use it for the garlic for Shannon. When I contrast the two, I really can’t tell if it’s a lack of experience or a lack of give-a-darn with my MIL, kwim?
One of Bruce’s nieces is getting married in August. I don’t know if any of us will be going to the wedding, though we’ll probably try to at least send Bruce. This niece has struggled with mental issues most of her life, OCD tendencies and the like, and she’s been finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder and is on a good combination of meds. She seems to be doing well, holding down a job, living with her boyfriend in Minnesota. They’ve been together at least 2 years. But MIL is convinced that the marriage won’t last. I think she’s been listening to the family members who’ve said for years that Niece’s problems were all because she didn’t have enough discipline/consequences as a child. These same family members predict gloom and doom for this poor child all the time, selling her short and poo-poohing any accomplishment. MAKES ME CRAZY! I hate it when people do that to other people. Like deciding that Marcos, with his struggles in school, will never be successful at anything. Sure, he’ll struggle with school, but he’s got other strengths that I think will serve him well. Niece is the same way.
Speaking of Marcos, he and Tristan built some shelves for the shed in your yard and Marcos was SO proud! I think he’d do really well at some kind of hands-on field like carpentry or plumbing or even cooking. He’s just got to find his niche.
Tristan developed strep over the weekend. He had insulin pump issues so his sugar got really high, and then he got a headache and sore throat, followed by a fever. He didn’t go to church with us, and he didn’t really participate in the meal afterwards either. MIL was convinced he was dying and his horrible parents weren’t doing anything about it (I was waiting it out…if I rush them to the doctor every time they get a fever, well, I might as well move in!). My mom thought he had a migraine and offered us some of her prescription migraine meds. Um, NO! Sunday night we decided to take him to Urgent Care, since the fever was creeping back up and we could tell his tonsils were swollen (he was talking like he had a huge gumball in his mouth) and the test came back positive. We got home around 11:30 and all the grandparents were still up. MIL said “she couldn’t sleep until she knew he was okay,” and my mom just worries about this stuff. So he stayed home from school yesterday, the mandatory 24-hour “quarantine” to keep it from spreading, and he was back to wrestling with Bruce last night.
Bruce called his parents to make sure they got home okay. MIL first insisted they’d called, but there was no record of that on any of our phones. Then she grilled Bruce again about Tristan and he repeated the same info we’d given her Sunday night and Monday morning. *sigh*
From May 18 [mundane and boring, but here it is]:
I had a lovely visitor today, from Murray’s finest. I was hoping it was about my break in and them telling me that they’d found my camera or the GPS. Nope. It seems that they were getting repeated hang-up 911 calls from a cell phone that they’d traced back to my house. Um? Say what?! So, I polled the kids, checked all the phones, and nothing. The calls were coming from an “unregistered” phone, meaning one that currently did not have actual service. And, they’d traced the *signal,* not the number, to within 0 meters of my house. I thought they only did that on TV! The officer was very nice, and said that the important thing was that everyone was okay and we didn’t need any emergency services.
Today, at work, I got a call from Shannon at school. She was in tears, poor thing. Her insulin pump had run out of insulin and she didn’t have all the supplies she needed at school so she was very upset. It really wasn’t a big deal, honestly, and I don’t know why she was in tears over it. She didn’t really know either! So, I took off and got her the things she needed and she went off to class. I’ll never completely understand teenagers, even when I was one!
I was right about our church. They voted to become a Reconciling Congregation. I hope it doesn’t create more division.
We got the house mostly put back together after a weekend of a zillion visitors. The trailer came down yesterday, after a fortuitous break in the weather that allowed it to dry out. I’m waiting for sunny skies to wash the sheets as I like to dry them outside on the clothesline.
The kids had a concert last night, both orchestra (Shannon) and symphonic band (Tristan), plus a couple of songs combining the two. It was really good. It’s been a long road to get here, going to concerts from the time they were in elementary school, squeaking along on stage! But they’ve all made such progress and it’s wonderful to hear and enjoy.
May 20, 2011
This “Rapture” stuff has gone viral! It’s really funny. One of the local news stations put a “Just in Case They’re Right” forecast up, with just a temperature for Saturday, and nothing for that night or the rest of next week…..it’s just an empty graphic! Too funny! There’s also a FaceBook event titled “Post-Rapture Looting,” for those who are left behind. The comments are hilarious! Talk of attending if they’re not too hung over from the pre-rapture partying, lists of things they’ve got their eyes on (houses, furniture, cars). It’s gotten pretty ridiculous. What do these people do when it doesn’t happen? This guy is absolutely positive that *now* is the time. His followers believe it too. What do you do when you’ve staked your whole life on something like this? I know! I’ll send some fresh-faced Mormon boys over there!
Talked to my friend whose inlaws were killed. She’d called the state police for one reason or another and spoke to one of the responding officers. Well, on her way to Boise, she was pulled over for speeding….by the same officer! He took her to where they had the car and let her remove their personal belongings from it. She said it was really hard, but she was glad she did it and not her husband because it would’ve been that much more difficult for him. She seems to be doing all right, but I worry. I don’t think she’s getting much sleep.
It’s raining. Again. Some more. Forever. Maybe the rapture isn’t such a bad idea? I’m sick sick SICK of the rain! This morning, we had a thunderstorm that shook the rafters and landed Alana in bed with us. I was a little surprised we didn’t have all 3 kids plus the dogs up there with us! The back yard looks like a jungle and I may never get to use my clothes line. The garden seems okay, but we haven’t been able to spray the apples. It’s pointless to do it until the rain lets up a bit or the spray just gets washed away, but we need to do it before the blossoms close up completely to keep the worms out (the worms form in the seed/center of the apple and eat their way out). It could be a banner crop of apples this year…..full of worms! *sigh*
More excerpts
From May 11:
Lent….I lost 7 pounds, so I’m going back to the no junk food rule. I did find other things to eat to satisfy that salty-crunchy craving, and really I felt good. Since I’ve been eating junk again, my tummy is a bit unhappy with me (that’s probably more than you wanted to know) and I’ve gained back a couple of pounds. I wasn’t in it to lose weight, but it was kinda fun to realize that my clothes were a bit looser. And, really, we’ve got lots of things to do this summer, and I want to be in shape for the hiking and such that we’ll be doing.
I also gave up computer games, and I noticed after a few weeks, that my back had mostly stopped hurting. Guess what? Yep, that back pain is back now that I’m playing again. Not to mention, the competitive side of me is thinking all sorts of not-so-nice things about the **&#(# who keeps beating me at Zuma Blitz on FaceBook. So, after today’s tournament ends (like right now), in which she, yet again, beat me, I’m done. It’s not good for my time management, my back, or my spirit. I don’t like that gal anyway, but I don’t need to dwell on it every day as I try to beat her into oblivion….figuratively speaking, of course.
Shannon’s confirmation is next weekend. I think I might have mentioned that once or twice. The Outlaws are coming, and now my parents may be coming too. I can’t decide how I feel about that. I feel like I’ve had to cajole and coerce them into coming for this, like they don’t really want to be here. It’ll be a quick trip, and they’ll be staying in the trailer for part of the time. I’ve got 6 bedrooms, but only 2 extra beds and MIL is not able to handle the trailer at all. Mom understands, and is willing to do whatever, but I still wish it was my parents inside the house. Wonder if they’ll bring me some wine if I ask nicely?
After church, during coffee hour, there’s a reception in the gym and I need to make some gluten-free cupcakes for Shannon since she won’t be able to eat any of the Costco cake they’re getting. Then, I’m planning a celebratory meal after church, around 2:30 or so
Melany (my sis) is coming in June. I’m sure I’ve mentioned that once or twice too. We were talking today and simultaneously surfing the web looking at things to do when she’s here. She’s SO excited! I wish I didn’t have so much going on between now and then so I could get excited too. We’re planning to go to the Mayan for her and my niece’s birthdays (they share a b-day), plus the zoo, a Bees game, and Lagoon. Today I mentioned Joe’s Crab Shack and now she wants to do that too. I’ll have to check and see if they’ve got a good gluten-free menu for Shannon, or it could just be Melany and I for lunch.
Last weekend was nuts, and so was the weekend before. Shannon had a sleepover with a gal from church on Friday night. Mom is a bit high-strung, but it was cute, and I think if the girls develop a stronger relationship, mom’ll settle down. She mentioned that she didn’t have any guns in the house, but she did have some alcohol. I told her, as long as she wasn’t serving it to the girls, it didn’t bother me none. She was concerned about movie ratings and the like too. Like I said, I think once she realizes that I’m okay and we’ve got the same basic values, it’ll be good.
Tristan had a soccer game Saturday morning. I guess the other team got there an hour early to practice, and at game time, we only had 4 players, so they thought they had it made. Eventually, we got our 7 people there (and no more), but no coach. Our guys coached themselves, taking turns as defenders or forwards so they could rest when needed, etc, since they didn’t have any subs. Our team wound up winning 10-0. It was painful to watch, and at one point, the ref told one of our players that he couldn’t score anymore.
Then we went to an orientation for Shannon’s activity for next weekend. She’s going up to the National Ability Center in Park City with a group called “Kids Rock the World” and it’s all for kids with diabetes. They’ve got a ropes course, including one way up high, and several rock walls, plus a couple of guest speakers to help teens feel empowered. So we went to this lunch and orientation for that. While there, the girls each won a certificate to go up to Park City Mountain Resort and do the fun summer stuff—zip line, alpine slide, alpine coaster and a couple other things. It’s worth $60 each! But, Alana’s too small to do the zip line, though I’m sure she’d love it. So we’re going to use those while Melany is here. I’ll keep my eyes open for deals on tickets….I get all kinds of notifications on FaceBook and into my email about such things.
This weekend was also the Bell Ringer’s semi-annual rummage sale. This is their main fundraiser for their tour, and they raised over $9,000! There was some really cool stuff, including some antique German cameras, silver, a NASCAR collection, furniture, kitchenware, and more. And, of course, there’s a lot of junk too. I got a lot of jewelry and some books, plus a few other things. I’m always amazed at the number of Reader’s Digest Condensed Books that show up. I think people die and their heirs donate all of the stuff they don’t know what to do with to us. I don’t know if anyone ever buys those books. I found a few by my favorite authors, plus one called How to Murder Your Mother-In-Law. I can’t decide if I should be reading it next weekend or not. I probably shouldn’t, though MIL’s eye sight has gotten so bad that I don’t think she’ll be able to tell. Bruce, however, will know, and so will my mother. Probably NOT a good idea.
Mother’s Day. The kids made me lunch in bed, which was nice. Then I watched a bunch of TV (catching up on things I’ve recorded), while I clipped coupons and finalized my grocery list. I came home from the store to find a bouquet of tulips on my counter, courtesy of my girls and my front yard. We had a London broil that Bruce bought at Dream Dinners, but we weren’t sure if it was gluten free, so Shannon wound up begging for leftovers from your parents. I tell ya, I’ve got the best neighbors.
So yesterday I cleaned out the main floor bathroom. I don’t know why, but that bathroom gets so much stuff just dumped into it. A few weeks ago, Tristan told me that we needed antibiotic ointment, so I bought some. Turns out, there were *4* tubes in there, not counting the new one still in the box! The kids haven’t used insulin pens for their shots in months, and yet, I found at least 30 used pen needles. Yuck! We had 4 partially used sharps containers, from various trips and such. One of them was full, so I capped it and tossed it, but the other ones are all about half full. I found 6 blood glucose meters, too, including several that we’ve never used! That’s on top of the 8 or more in box in the basement that are still in their original packages. See, meter companies will give you a meter for free because they want you to use theirs and buy their test strips…..the strips are $1.00 each…..and a type 1 diabetic will use anywhere from 4-8 in a day. Sneaky marketing, eh? Know anyone who needs a meter? LOL!
I gotta tell ya, though. It feels good to get all that cleaned out and organized. I’m hoping it will stay that way, at least for a few weeks. I know, I know…..who am I kidding?!
The latest “discussion” with the kids is about wet towels left in heaps on their bedroom floors. I’m considering rationing out their towels, only allowing them 1-2 towels per week. Then, if their towel is in a wet smelly mess on their floor when they need it, well maybe they’ll learn to hang it up! No amount of yelling or scolding is working, so maybe some real life consequences would help? Humor me, k?
The weather is finally improving, ever so slowly. I just *might* get out the summer clothes this week, if I have time with all the craziness going on getting ready for the Inlaws and Outlaws. I need to change the sheets on my bed, but I just can’t bring myself to put the flannel ones on there…..again. And the cotton sheets are packed away, waiting for me to do the Bi-Annual Bedding Changeover and washing. I like to take everything off the beds, down to the mattress covers and wash it all, blankets, pillows, everything. Then we put away the flannel sheets and heavy comforters, open all the windows, and hang everything out to dry in the beautiful spring sunshine….that is hiding this year!
I got a look at Tristan’s itinerary for his tour. He’s going to be a busy child, alternating with total boredom with hours on the bus. They’re apparently going to an Atlanta Braves game, plus stopping in DC to visit some of the monuments and museums. The choir will be playing at Bruce’s sister’s church in the DC area. Aunt Martha (Bruce’s oldest sister) won’t be there, but her husband is hosting some of the kids, including Tristan. A couple more aunts live in the area, along with several cousins, so they’ll all go hear him play and see him for the first time since 2004 for most of them. I’m a bit nervous about the whole thing, honestly. It’s the longest he’s ever been away from home, especially without us, and it’s the furthest he’s ever gone too. However, the folks organizing it all have a pretty good system, and I’m sure he’ll be just fine. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
May 12:
I just got word that my friend, Mary Ellen, whom I’ve known since Jr. High (no, I’m not telling you how many years that is…..), her inlaws were killed in a head-on collision north of McCall, ID. It was a bad, bad accident, and looking at the photos online is really hard. Mary Ellen was close to them, they were awesome grandparents to her boys, etc. It’s all so terribly tragic. I’m having a hard time being so far away. If I were there, I’d clean her bathroom, watch her boys, take care of her pets, fill her freezer with food, and so on, but I’m here! The distance makes it so hard! I’ve put together a little care package with snacks and such so she’ll hopefully remember to eat, plus some yummy chocolates and a GC to Papa Murphy’s pizza, and I’m praying, of course, but it seems like so little in the face of such heart break!
Lent….I lost 7 pounds, so I’m going back to the no junk food rule. I did find other things to eat to satisfy that salty-crunchy craving, and really I felt good. Since I’ve been eating junk again, my tummy is a bit unhappy with me (that’s probably more than you wanted to know) and I’ve gained back a couple of pounds. I wasn’t in it to lose weight, but it was kinda fun to realize that my clothes were a bit looser. And, really, we’ve got lots of things to do this summer, and I want to be in shape for the hiking and such that we’ll be doing.
I also gave up computer games, and I noticed after a few weeks, that my back had mostly stopped hurting. Guess what? Yep, that back pain is back now that I’m playing again. Not to mention, the competitive side of me is thinking all sorts of not-so-nice things about the **&#(# who keeps beating me at Zuma Blitz on FaceBook. So, after today’s tournament ends (like right now), in which she, yet again, beat me, I’m done. It’s not good for my time management, my back, or my spirit. I don’t like that gal anyway, but I don’t need to dwell on it every day as I try to beat her into oblivion….figuratively speaking, of course.
Shannon’s confirmation is next weekend. I think I might have mentioned that once or twice. The Outlaws are coming, and now my parents may be coming too. I can’t decide how I feel about that. I feel like I’ve had to cajole and coerce them into coming for this, like they don’t really want to be here. It’ll be a quick trip, and they’ll be staying in the trailer for part of the time. I’ve got 6 bedrooms, but only 2 extra beds and MIL is not able to handle the trailer at all. Mom understands, and is willing to do whatever, but I still wish it was my parents inside the house. Wonder if they’ll bring me some wine if I ask nicely?
After church, during coffee hour, there’s a reception in the gym and I need to make some gluten-free cupcakes for Shannon since she won’t be able to eat any of the Costco cake they’re getting. Then, I’m planning a celebratory meal after church, around 2:30 or so
Melany (my sis) is coming in June. I’m sure I’ve mentioned that once or twice too. We were talking today and simultaneously surfing the web looking at things to do when she’s here. She’s SO excited! I wish I didn’t have so much going on between now and then so I could get excited too. We’re planning to go to the Mayan for her and my niece’s birthdays (they share a b-day), plus the zoo, a Bees game, and Lagoon. Today I mentioned Joe’s Crab Shack and now she wants to do that too. I’ll have to check and see if they’ve got a good gluten-free menu for Shannon, or it could just be Melany and I for lunch.
Last weekend was nuts, and so was the weekend before. Shannon had a sleepover with a gal from church on Friday night. Mom is a bit high-strung, but it was cute, and I think if the girls develop a stronger relationship, mom’ll settle down. She mentioned that she didn’t have any guns in the house, but she did have some alcohol. I told her, as long as she wasn’t serving it to the girls, it didn’t bother me none. She was concerned about movie ratings and the like too. Like I said, I think once she realizes that I’m okay and we’ve got the same basic values, it’ll be good.
Tristan had a soccer game Saturday morning. I guess the other team got there an hour early to practice, and at game time, we only had 4 players, so they thought they had it made. Eventually, we got our 7 people there (and no more), but no coach. Our guys coached themselves, taking turns as defenders or forwards so they could rest when needed, etc, since they didn’t have any subs. Our team wound up winning 10-0. It was painful to watch, and at one point, the ref told one of our players that he couldn’t score anymore.
Then we went to an orientation for Shannon’s activity for next weekend. She’s going up to the National Ability Center in Park City with a group called “Kids Rock the World” and it’s all for kids with diabetes. They’ve got a ropes course, including one way up high, and several rock walls, plus a couple of guest speakers to help teens feel empowered. So we went to this lunch and orientation for that. While there, the girls each won a certificate to go up to Park City Mountain Resort and do the fun summer stuff—zip line, alpine slide, alpine coaster and a couple other things. It’s worth $60 each! But, Alana’s too small to do the zip line, though I’m sure she’d love it. So we’re going to use those while Melany is here. I’ll keep my eyes open for deals on tickets….I get all kinds of notifications on FaceBook and into my email about such things.
This weekend was also the Bell Ringer’s semi-annual rummage sale. This is their main fundraiser for their tour, and they raised over $9,000! There was some really cool stuff, including some antique German cameras, silver, a NASCAR collection, furniture, kitchenware, and more. And, of course, there’s a lot of junk too. I got a lot of jewelry and some books, plus a few other things. I’m always amazed at the number of Reader’s Digest Condensed Books that show up. I think people die and their heirs donate all of the stuff they don’t know what to do with to us. I don’t know if anyone ever buys those books. I found a few by my favorite authors, plus one called How to Murder Your Mother-In-Law. I can’t decide if I should be reading it next weekend or not. I probably shouldn’t, though MIL’s eye sight has gotten so bad that I don’t think she’ll be able to tell. Bruce, however, will know, and so will my mother. Probably NOT a good idea.
Mother’s Day. The kids made me lunch in bed, which was nice. Then I watched a bunch of TV (catching up on things I’ve recorded), while I clipped coupons and finalized my grocery list. I came home from the store to find a bouquet of tulips on my counter, courtesy of my girls and my front yard. We had a London broil that Bruce bought at Dream Dinners, but we weren’t sure if it was gluten free, so Shannon wound up begging for leftovers from your parents. I tell ya, I’ve got the best neighbors.
So yesterday I cleaned out the main floor bathroom. I don’t know why, but that bathroom gets so much stuff just dumped into it. A few weeks ago, Tristan told me that we needed antibiotic ointment, so I bought some. Turns out, there were *4* tubes in there, not counting the new one still in the box! The kids haven’t used insulin pens for their shots in months, and yet, I found at least 30 used pen needles. Yuck! We had 4 partially used sharps containers, from various trips and such. One of them was full, so I capped it and tossed it, but the other ones are all about half full. I found 6 blood glucose meters, too, including several that we’ve never used! That’s on top of the 8 or more in box in the basement that are still in their original packages. See, meter companies will give you a meter for free because they want you to use theirs and buy their test strips…..the strips are $1.00 each…..and a type 1 diabetic will use anywhere from 4-8 in a day. Sneaky marketing, eh? Know anyone who needs a meter? LOL!
I gotta tell ya, though. It feels good to get all that cleaned out and organized. I’m hoping it will stay that way, at least for a few weeks. I know, I know…..who am I kidding?!
The latest “discussion” with the kids is about wet towels left in heaps on their bedroom floors. I’m considering rationing out their towels, only allowing them 1-2 towels per week. Then, if their towel is in a wet smelly mess on their floor when they need it, well maybe they’ll learn to hang it up! No amount of yelling or scolding is working, so maybe some real life consequences would help? Humor me, k?
The weather is finally improving, ever so slowly. I just *might* get out the summer clothes this week, if I have time with all the craziness going on getting ready for the Inlaws and Outlaws. I need to change the sheets on my bed, but I just can’t bring myself to put the flannel ones on there…..again. And the cotton sheets are packed away, waiting for me to do the Bi-Annual Bedding Changeover and washing. I like to take everything off the beds, down to the mattress covers and wash it all, blankets, pillows, everything. Then we put away the flannel sheets and heavy comforters, open all the windows, and hang everything out to dry in the beautiful spring sunshine….that is hiding this year!
I got a look at Tristan’s itinerary for his tour. He’s going to be a busy child, alternating with total boredom with hours on the bus. They’re apparently going to an Atlanta Braves game, plus stopping in DC to visit some of the monuments and museums. The choir will be playing at Bruce’s sister’s church in the DC area. Aunt Martha (Bruce’s oldest sister) won’t be there, but her husband is hosting some of the kids, including Tristan. A couple more aunts live in the area, along with several cousins, so they’ll all go hear him play and see him for the first time since 2004 for most of them. I’m a bit nervous about the whole thing, honestly. It’s the longest he’s ever been away from home, especially without us, and it’s the furthest he’s ever gone too. However, the folks organizing it all have a pretty good system, and I’m sure he’ll be just fine. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
May 12:
I just got word that my friend, Mary Ellen, whom I’ve known since Jr. High (no, I’m not telling you how many years that is…..), her inlaws were killed in a head-on collision north of McCall, ID. It was a bad, bad accident, and looking at the photos online is really hard. Mary Ellen was close to them, they were awesome grandparents to her boys, etc. It’s all so terribly tragic. I’m having a hard time being so far away. If I were there, I’d clean her bathroom, watch her boys, take care of her pets, fill her freezer with food, and so on, but I’m here! The distance makes it so hard! I’ve put together a little care package with snacks and such so she’ll hopefully remember to eat, plus some yummy chocolates and a GC to Papa Murphy’s pizza, and I’m praying, of course, but it seems like so little in the face of such heart break!
It's been awhile, hasn't it.....
There's a lot to catch up on, and I know I'll never get there, so I'm going to pull some excerpts from letters I've been writing to my neighbor who's on his LDS mission in Argentina. I type these letters at various places while my kids do their thing--music lessons, ice skating, that sort of thing.....
From a letter dated April 12:
Alana turned 9 last week. I can hardly believe it. The day we brought her home from the hospital, I wore a sundress. It was that summer-like. This year, it’s still snowing from time to time. Really, really, REALLY ready for warmer, sunnier weather. The photos of her opening her presents were still on my stolen camera, so those are gone forever. Tristan suggested that they re-wrap the presents and re-create it, but it wouldn’t work. We had her birthday party at Classic Fun Center down in Sandy, where the kids got to skate, play in the inflatable bouncers, shoot at each other in the Blast Zone, and play laser tag. They had a good time, and I got great pictures from that. Alana opted for chocolate cheesecake for her cake, so I totally cheated. I bought an Oreo crust and filled it with cheesecake filling that you can buy in a tub. Then we shaved a chocolate bar on the top to make it pretty. So easy and she loved it!
I’ve given away more stuff, including several boxes of books. Bruce looked at me really funny and asked if I was feeling all right….I was giving away books, and I bought Velveeta! A couple of friends came and helped me get started in one of my craft rooms. It’s really fun to work with other people. “Erica, are you really going to patch those pants?” “And what project is that for?” It made the decision-making process much easier, and it’s always nice to have company when working on stuff like that.
So, in my discouragement, I was pretty down. National Scrapbook Day is this coming weekend, and I’ve only got 3-4 people coming. It’s been FOREVER since I’ve had such low attendance at one of my big scrapbooking weekend things. I’ve had as many as 18 people there in the past. The leads from the Expo aren’t panning out real well just yet, plus the stolen CM money, and I’m struggling some. However, I have to tell you, I got a phone call out of the blue from a woman who needs supplies, including a new album and pages and such. I have no idea where she got my name and number, but I love those kind of phone calls! I think God’s trying to reassure me a bit. Or I could be reading way too much into it, but I’ll take the little things. (Note today: This same woman has now "opted out" of my emails. Our last exchange was a bit odd with her questioning why she had to pay shipping when I had the things here.....because *I* had to pay shipping to get them here)
From April 26
National Scrapbook Day worked out just fine. I had one gal cancel at the last minute, and another sign up, so I had 4 people there. While the bigger events are good for my bottom line, this was very relaxing. My profit margin is smaller with smaller groups, but I made up for it by making lots of things from scratch, including the meatballs for the meatball subs (I probably would do those for a big group too because Shannon eats them too and store-bought are generally not gluten-free).
Easter was great. Tristan had to be at church at o’dark thirty because the bells were playing at all 3 services, starting at 7:30 am. The music is always amazing, with the beautiful hymns of praise. I just love it. We all wore our Easter bonnets in support of our minister who’s still battling ovarian cancer. I found the girls’ hats at the dollar store, and mine at Ross. Then I decorated them with ribbons and flowers, plus butterflies and birds for the girls. Lots of fun, though I’m sporting a nasty burn from the tip of the glue gun on my finger.
The rest of the day was so relaxing since we didn’t have to be anywhere else ALL DAY. I know! Stop the presses! We did NOT drive back across town a dozen times for various kid-related activities. We watched the movies that the Easter Bunny brought (Voyage of the Dawn Treader, based on the CS Lewis book, and the 7th Harry Potter), had a turkey dinner, and just enjoyed a relaxing day. We get so few of those anymore and I hate it.
Bruce’s paycheck was shorted a week’s pay. His manager put 4.9 hours rather than 44.9 hours. Ouch! They got it straightened out, but when he asked if they could go ahead and pay him now rather than adding the hours to his next check, the payroll department got a bit snotty, like they’re doing him some big favor (“one-time courtesy”). Say what? It’s not like Bruce did anything wrong, so why are they acting like they’re helping him out of a jam? Hopefully, it won’t happen again, so this “one-time courtesy” will truly be a one-time thing. In the meantime, we’re hanging in there. We’ve got overdraft protection for just such events, so all our bills are being paid…..just with a bit of interest.
I subbed a couple of days this week; once in first grade and once in 6th. I really need to remember to wear jeans when I’m doing 1st grade. We were planting grass, so I had a 50 lb bag of soil, plus a bag of grass seed, and we’re filling these tiny cut-off milk cartons. We were able to do it without too much mess, but it still made me nervous. It’s funny….this is a class I’ve had several times before (it’s Miss Pace—Alana’s former 1st grade teacher), so I know them pretty well. Some of them drive me completely insane, but when the art teacher started to pick on them a bit, it got my back up. She just isn’t very nice! Great art ideas, but not nice to the kids.
Dad spent a night in the hospital last week. He had a bit of a cardiac incident. His heart was racing and wouldn’t slow down. When they got to the ER, it was about 170 beats/minute, which is not safe at all! When your heart beats that fast, you start potentially throwing blood clots that can lead to a heart attack, stroke, or pulmonary embolism…none of which are good for you. They gave him some medicine and that slowed his heart down too much, down to like 30. So they gave him something else……which made him dizzy or something, so they kept him overnight just to be sure his heart would behave itself. He’s supposed to see the cardiologist this week, but it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he needs a pacemaker in the near future.
Got this in an email from Bruce, titled “Blame it on Microsoft”
• INSTALLING SPRING...
███████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 44% DONE.
Installation failed. Please try again.
404 error: Season not found.
Season "Spring" cannot be located.
...The season you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable in Utah.
Please try again.
Funny, huh? The weather is nice today, but it’s not supposed to last. We’re supposed to get more snow tomorrow and a nighttime low of less than 30! Brrrr!!!
From a letter dated April 12:
Alana turned 9 last week. I can hardly believe it. The day we brought her home from the hospital, I wore a sundress. It was that summer-like. This year, it’s still snowing from time to time. Really, really, REALLY ready for warmer, sunnier weather. The photos of her opening her presents were still on my stolen camera, so those are gone forever. Tristan suggested that they re-wrap the presents and re-create it, but it wouldn’t work. We had her birthday party at Classic Fun Center down in Sandy, where the kids got to skate, play in the inflatable bouncers, shoot at each other in the Blast Zone, and play laser tag. They had a good time, and I got great pictures from that. Alana opted for chocolate cheesecake for her cake, so I totally cheated. I bought an Oreo crust and filled it with cheesecake filling that you can buy in a tub. Then we shaved a chocolate bar on the top to make it pretty. So easy and she loved it!
I’ve given away more stuff, including several boxes of books. Bruce looked at me really funny and asked if I was feeling all right….I was giving away books, and I bought Velveeta! A couple of friends came and helped me get started in one of my craft rooms. It’s really fun to work with other people. “Erica, are you really going to patch those pants?” “And what project is that for?” It made the decision-making process much easier, and it’s always nice to have company when working on stuff like that.
So, in my discouragement, I was pretty down. National Scrapbook Day is this coming weekend, and I’ve only got 3-4 people coming. It’s been FOREVER since I’ve had such low attendance at one of my big scrapbooking weekend things. I’ve had as many as 18 people there in the past. The leads from the Expo aren’t panning out real well just yet, plus the stolen CM money, and I’m struggling some. However, I have to tell you, I got a phone call out of the blue from a woman who needs supplies, including a new album and pages and such. I have no idea where she got my name and number, but I love those kind of phone calls! I think God’s trying to reassure me a bit. Or I could be reading way too much into it, but I’ll take the little things. (Note today: This same woman has now "opted out" of my emails. Our last exchange was a bit odd with her questioning why she had to pay shipping when I had the things here.....because *I* had to pay shipping to get them here)
From April 26
National Scrapbook Day worked out just fine. I had one gal cancel at the last minute, and another sign up, so I had 4 people there. While the bigger events are good for my bottom line, this was very relaxing. My profit margin is smaller with smaller groups, but I made up for it by making lots of things from scratch, including the meatballs for the meatball subs (I probably would do those for a big group too because Shannon eats them too and store-bought are generally not gluten-free).
Easter was great. Tristan had to be at church at o’dark thirty because the bells were playing at all 3 services, starting at 7:30 am. The music is always amazing, with the beautiful hymns of praise. I just love it. We all wore our Easter bonnets in support of our minister who’s still battling ovarian cancer. I found the girls’ hats at the dollar store, and mine at Ross. Then I decorated them with ribbons and flowers, plus butterflies and birds for the girls. Lots of fun, though I’m sporting a nasty burn from the tip of the glue gun on my finger.
The rest of the day was so relaxing since we didn’t have to be anywhere else ALL DAY. I know! Stop the presses! We did NOT drive back across town a dozen times for various kid-related activities. We watched the movies that the Easter Bunny brought (Voyage of the Dawn Treader, based on the CS Lewis book, and the 7th Harry Potter), had a turkey dinner, and just enjoyed a relaxing day. We get so few of those anymore and I hate it.
Bruce’s paycheck was shorted a week’s pay. His manager put 4.9 hours rather than 44.9 hours. Ouch! They got it straightened out, but when he asked if they could go ahead and pay him now rather than adding the hours to his next check, the payroll department got a bit snotty, like they’re doing him some big favor (“one-time courtesy”). Say what? It’s not like Bruce did anything wrong, so why are they acting like they’re helping him out of a jam? Hopefully, it won’t happen again, so this “one-time courtesy” will truly be a one-time thing. In the meantime, we’re hanging in there. We’ve got overdraft protection for just such events, so all our bills are being paid…..just with a bit of interest.
I subbed a couple of days this week; once in first grade and once in 6th. I really need to remember to wear jeans when I’m doing 1st grade. We were planting grass, so I had a 50 lb bag of soil, plus a bag of grass seed, and we’re filling these tiny cut-off milk cartons. We were able to do it without too much mess, but it still made me nervous. It’s funny….this is a class I’ve had several times before (it’s Miss Pace—Alana’s former 1st grade teacher), so I know them pretty well. Some of them drive me completely insane, but when the art teacher started to pick on them a bit, it got my back up. She just isn’t very nice! Great art ideas, but not nice to the kids.
Dad spent a night in the hospital last week. He had a bit of a cardiac incident. His heart was racing and wouldn’t slow down. When they got to the ER, it was about 170 beats/minute, which is not safe at all! When your heart beats that fast, you start potentially throwing blood clots that can lead to a heart attack, stroke, or pulmonary embolism…none of which are good for you. They gave him some medicine and that slowed his heart down too much, down to like 30. So they gave him something else……which made him dizzy or something, so they kept him overnight just to be sure his heart would behave itself. He’s supposed to see the cardiologist this week, but it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he needs a pacemaker in the near future.
Got this in an email from Bruce, titled “Blame it on Microsoft”
• INSTALLING SPRING...
███████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 44% DONE.
Installation failed. Please try again.
404 error: Season not found.
Season "Spring" cannot be located.
...The season you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable in Utah.
Please try again.
Funny, huh? The weather is nice today, but it’s not supposed to last. We’re supposed to get more snow tomorrow and a nighttime low of less than 30! Brrrr!!!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
100th Post and 40 Bags Update
Who knew?! LOL!
It's really an update on the cleaning out stuff. I'm not going to get through the whole house, or even through that whole list before Easter, but that's okay. Spring is coming, or so they say, and that always inspires me to get the crap out so the journey will continue long past Easter.
I am happy to report that Bruce tackled the shed this weekend, finally selling a couple of critter cages, a jogging stroller and attempting to sell some pool/hot tub supplies. We'll see if the last of it goes.
I've decided that my craft room clutter is interfering with my crafting, so out it goes. I've also discovered that, no matter what, crafting makes me smile and I need to do more of it. So I am and I will. I've gotten through parts of my sewing room, and discovered boxes and boxes of pictures that need to be sorted and put away. Sounds like a project for a rainy movie marathon day! I've got a couple of boxes of fabric that I'm getting rid of....some of it is very child-like, so too young for my growing children. Some of it is no longer my taste. And some of it, well, I'm not sure what I was thinking! LOL!
There are still twinges of "what if I need that someday?" or "I bought that for a reason...." but really, if I don't know the reason, what's the point. And if I do, by some strange twist, need that particular floral print fabric one day, well, there's a store down the road and fabric goes on sale.
I'm toying with a yard sale, but we shall see what, if anything, comes of that. I'd like to make a bit of money on these things, but then I wonder if the effort is worth it. We shall see.
It's really an update on the cleaning out stuff. I'm not going to get through the whole house, or even through that whole list before Easter, but that's okay. Spring is coming, or so they say, and that always inspires me to get the crap out so the journey will continue long past Easter.
I am happy to report that Bruce tackled the shed this weekend, finally selling a couple of critter cages, a jogging stroller and attempting to sell some pool/hot tub supplies. We'll see if the last of it goes.
I've decided that my craft room clutter is interfering with my crafting, so out it goes. I've also discovered that, no matter what, crafting makes me smile and I need to do more of it. So I am and I will. I've gotten through parts of my sewing room, and discovered boxes and boxes of pictures that need to be sorted and put away. Sounds like a project for a rainy movie marathon day! I've got a couple of boxes of fabric that I'm getting rid of....some of it is very child-like, so too young for my growing children. Some of it is no longer my taste. And some of it, well, I'm not sure what I was thinking! LOL!
There are still twinges of "what if I need that someday?" or "I bought that for a reason...." but really, if I don't know the reason, what's the point. And if I do, by some strange twist, need that particular floral print fabric one day, well, there's a store down the road and fabric goes on sale.
I'm toying with a yard sale, but we shall see what, if anything, comes of that. I'd like to make a bit of money on these things, but then I wonder if the effort is worth it. We shall see.
Friday, April 8, 2011
A tough day
Yesterday was rough.
I pulled into the garage Wednesday night, late, and apparently I forgot to close the door. My purse was stolen off the front seat of my van, along with the GPS out of the Pilot. My camera was in my purse, along with about $600 in cash, plus credit cards, ID, gas cards, the works.
Bruce was furious. I know he wasn't angry at me, per se, but it still really hurt the way he was talking to me.
I skipped my volunteer shift at the church in the morning, but I still had to be at the other church to volunteer at the uber-awesome consignment sale (volunteers get a ticket to the presale). I was there from 11:45-3:00, then went home to grab Tristan and we went to work by 3:45. I left work at 6:00 to get to the presale (found some really great stuff). On my way out, I missed the curb and sprained my ankle.
This evening, however, a neighbor called. She'd found my purse while out walking her dog. Much of the cash is missing, of course, and so is my camera and the GPS, but my driver's license, and all of my credit cards were still in there. There was also about $200 in cash in my Dave Ramsey envelope wallet thingey. I don't think the creep realized there would be money in there.
The neighbor was so kind....the first thing she wanted to know was if I was all right since my purse and all it's contents were scattered in the snow-covered field. Bruce and Tristan went back out to see if the could find anything else. They did find my journal and other miscellaneous stuff, but no camera. Bruce commented "you sure carried all sorts of stuff in there, didn't you?" Um, yeah, honey.
My purse is ruined, as is my wallet. Two days in the snow and rain'll do that. Most of the paper stuff is ruined too, coupons and the like, and probably my journal as well, but I might be able to salvage the writings and that's what matters. So, I'm still a bit discouraged, but feeling somewhat better tonight.
And the neighbor is getting some cookies! :-)
I pulled into the garage Wednesday night, late, and apparently I forgot to close the door. My purse was stolen off the front seat of my van, along with the GPS out of the Pilot. My camera was in my purse, along with about $600 in cash, plus credit cards, ID, gas cards, the works.
Bruce was furious. I know he wasn't angry at me, per se, but it still really hurt the way he was talking to me.
I skipped my volunteer shift at the church in the morning, but I still had to be at the other church to volunteer at the uber-awesome consignment sale (volunteers get a ticket to the presale). I was there from 11:45-3:00, then went home to grab Tristan and we went to work by 3:45. I left work at 6:00 to get to the presale (found some really great stuff). On my way out, I missed the curb and sprained my ankle.
This evening, however, a neighbor called. She'd found my purse while out walking her dog. Much of the cash is missing, of course, and so is my camera and the GPS, but my driver's license, and all of my credit cards were still in there. There was also about $200 in cash in my Dave Ramsey envelope wallet thingey. I don't think the creep realized there would be money in there.
The neighbor was so kind....the first thing she wanted to know was if I was all right since my purse and all it's contents were scattered in the snow-covered field. Bruce and Tristan went back out to see if the could find anything else. They did find my journal and other miscellaneous stuff, but no camera. Bruce commented "you sure carried all sorts of stuff in there, didn't you?" Um, yeah, honey.
My purse is ruined, as is my wallet. Two days in the snow and rain'll do that. Most of the paper stuff is ruined too, coupons and the like, and probably my journal as well, but I might be able to salvage the writings and that's what matters. So, I'm still a bit discouraged, but feeling somewhat better tonight.
And the neighbor is getting some cookies! :-)
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
What do you say?
What do you say when your 12 yo daughter tells you that she hasn't been giving herself needed insulin because she's afraid her blood sugar will drop? What do you say when she tells you that her biggest fear is that her sugar will drop too low during the night and she won't wake up?
How do I comfort her when that is *my* biggest fear too?
Through the last two years, I've learned, yet again, how strong I can be. There are days when I'm not strong at all, and there are times when I wish I didn't have to be strong. But I'm a mom. And moms do what their children need them to do. So I've become a mom who bakes gluten free bread, who has a shoebox full of insulin vials in her fridge. I've gone from fainting at the sight of needles to giving shots. I've gone from "HOLY CRAP! YOUR SUGAR IS WHAT?!?!" to calling the nurses line and calmly explaining what's going on, getting their instructions, praying for the best, all the while planning just what I'll juggle if the child has to go to the hospital.
I hope, with all of my heart, that none of you ever have to experience this because it's honestly the hardest thing I've ever had to do. In those moments, nothing else really matters.
And then there are the moments like last night, when Shannon told me that her sugar's been dropping too low after she gives herself insulin. We think her basal rate was too high, so we adjusted it a bit. And we talked. A lot.
We talked about how she's awakened in the past because her sugar was low and she "felt weird." We talked about how she's not truly my child....she's God's child. We talked about how God loves her, which led to a discussion of how a loving God "gives" a child this disease. We talked about what it would be like if Rumplestiltskin (Shrek Forever After) took that one day, the one day she started to get sick. Would I let that happen? I told her I wasn't sure. I would take the disease on myself, in a heartbeat, if given the chance. We talked about finding blessings in the midst of this struggle. And we talked about how she does not have to carry this alone. Ever.
She may have to take my face in her hands to get my full attention, because I'm always doing about 7 things at a time, but I would listen and I would help, and I would help her carry the load; figure things out.
It still breaks my heart, really. Like I've said before, my heart shattered the day they were diagnosed, and I'm not sure I'll ever quite put all the pieces back together.
How do I comfort her when that is *my* biggest fear too?
Through the last two years, I've learned, yet again, how strong I can be. There are days when I'm not strong at all, and there are times when I wish I didn't have to be strong. But I'm a mom. And moms do what their children need them to do. So I've become a mom who bakes gluten free bread, who has a shoebox full of insulin vials in her fridge. I've gone from fainting at the sight of needles to giving shots. I've gone from "HOLY CRAP! YOUR SUGAR IS WHAT?!?!" to calling the nurses line and calmly explaining what's going on, getting their instructions, praying for the best, all the while planning just what I'll juggle if the child has to go to the hospital.
I hope, with all of my heart, that none of you ever have to experience this because it's honestly the hardest thing I've ever had to do. In those moments, nothing else really matters.
And then there are the moments like last night, when Shannon told me that her sugar's been dropping too low after she gives herself insulin. We think her basal rate was too high, so we adjusted it a bit. And we talked. A lot.
We talked about how she's awakened in the past because her sugar was low and she "felt weird." We talked about how she's not truly my child....she's God's child. We talked about how God loves her, which led to a discussion of how a loving God "gives" a child this disease. We talked about what it would be like if Rumplestiltskin (Shrek Forever After) took that one day, the one day she started to get sick. Would I let that happen? I told her I wasn't sure. I would take the disease on myself, in a heartbeat, if given the chance. We talked about finding blessings in the midst of this struggle. And we talked about how she does not have to carry this alone. Ever.
She may have to take my face in her hands to get my full attention, because I'm always doing about 7 things at a time, but I would listen and I would help, and I would help her carry the load; figure things out.
It still breaks my heart, really. Like I've said before, my heart shattered the day they were diagnosed, and I'm not sure I'll ever quite put all the pieces back together.
Monday, April 4, 2011
100 Things I'm Grateful For
Our minister is doing a series of sermons on the 7 Deadly Sins during Lent. So far, we've discussed Pride, Lust, Sloth, Greed, and Envy. It's been a real eye-opener for me, in many ways, starting with my proud assertion that *I* don't suffer from these sins. Oh, really? LOL!
Last week's sermon was on Greed, as in "the desire to acquire gone haywire." One cure for greed is gratitude, and we were challenged to come up with a list of 100 things we're grateful for.
Here's the start of my list.
1. My church and the community therein
2. The Bible
3. The ability to read
4. The ability to question and find answers.
5. Learning to live without an answer
6. My children and all that they teach me every single day.
7. My wonderful husband. He's patient, loving, dependable, and kind.
8. My parents
9. Melany (my sister)
10. Good friends
11. My fabulous neighbors
12. My "Mayberry" neighborhood
13. My house that's truly a home
14. Water in the desert (even when it's snow in April)
15. My dad, my vet on call. :-)
16. Insulin
17. Gluten-free cookbooks and websites
18. Improved food labeling practices, and manufacturer 800 numbers so I can find the information I need to keep Shannon healthy.
19. Opportunities available to women today
20. Freedom to disagree and/or question those in authority
21. Our beautiful mountains
22. My jobs
23. Bruce's job
24. Fluffy clouds
25. Pets and the joy that they bring us
26. Modern medicine
27. Creative Memories
28. Creativitity
29. Answers/solutions that come in my sleep
30. Spring break and time off work too
31. The amazing variety of quality, safe foods available to me
32. A full pantry and freezer
33. Forgiveness
34. Coffee, specifically my coffee concoction I make each morning.
35. Coffeemate Coconut Creme Creamer (wish they'd make a fat-free version)
36. Coffeemate FF Hazelnut Creamer
37. Text messaging
38. My crock pot
39. My bread machine
40. Gas fireplace
41. Conversations about difficult subjects with my children.
Last week's sermon was on Greed, as in "the desire to acquire gone haywire." One cure for greed is gratitude, and we were challenged to come up with a list of 100 things we're grateful for.
Here's the start of my list.
1. My church and the community therein
2. The Bible
3. The ability to read
4. The ability to question and find answers.
5. Learning to live without an answer
6. My children and all that they teach me every single day.
7. My wonderful husband. He's patient, loving, dependable, and kind.
8. My parents
9. Melany (my sister)
10. Good friends
11. My fabulous neighbors
12. My "Mayberry" neighborhood
13. My house that's truly a home
14. Water in the desert (even when it's snow in April)
15. My dad, my vet on call. :-)
16. Insulin
17. Gluten-free cookbooks and websites
18. Improved food labeling practices, and manufacturer 800 numbers so I can find the information I need to keep Shannon healthy.
19. Opportunities available to women today
20. Freedom to disagree and/or question those in authority
21. Our beautiful mountains
22. My jobs
23. Bruce's job
24. Fluffy clouds
25. Pets and the joy that they bring us
26. Modern medicine
27. Creative Memories
28. Creativitity
29. Answers/solutions that come in my sleep
30. Spring break and time off work too
31. The amazing variety of quality, safe foods available to me
32. A full pantry and freezer
33. Forgiveness
34. Coffee, specifically my coffee concoction I make each morning.
35. Coffeemate Coconut Creme Creamer (wish they'd make a fat-free version)
36. Coffeemate FF Hazelnut Creamer
37. Text messaging
38. My crock pot
39. My bread machine
40. Gas fireplace
41. Conversations about difficult subjects with my children.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Another Productive Day
Today we cleaned out the toy cupboard, dumping dozens of games that were missing their pieces, hanging out in broken down boxes. I counted puzzle pieces and came up short, so out to the recycling it went. I asked Bruce to find me the software for an item I'm selling next weekend, and he promptly cleaned out the computer cupboard. Our recycling is full, and Bruce took a load to the dump. I've got books to share with many people, plus dozens and dozens of gently used items to go in the sale next weekend. And I'm nearly done with my inventory for the sale too. Just rounding up a few more things and I have to ask Tristan just what the heck all those pieces belong to and how they go together. I can't sell it if I don't know what it is! LOL!
Spring Break is at an end. Bruce has to go into work tomorrow as he's totally buried there and he spent both Friday and Saturday at home. The girls don't want to go to church, and if I weren't taking several things into people who are depending on me, well, I wouldn't go either. But I am, they are, and so I'll go and probably be glad I did. However, the girls being home gives me the excuse I need to dodge the women's group meeting. I just can't stomach a 4-hour meeting, including a meal plus cleaning up afterwards. I don't have time for that, really, and it's just not that important to me, and I need to stop feeling guilty about that too!
Spring Break is at an end. Bruce has to go into work tomorrow as he's totally buried there and he spent both Friday and Saturday at home. The girls don't want to go to church, and if I weren't taking several things into people who are depending on me, well, I wouldn't go either. But I am, they are, and so I'll go and probably be glad I did. However, the girls being home gives me the excuse I need to dodge the women's group meeting. I just can't stomach a 4-hour meeting, including a meal plus cleaning up afterwards. I don't have time for that, really, and it's just not that important to me, and I need to stop feeling guilty about that too!
Friday, April 1, 2011
Giveaways and Guilt
Isn't that a catchy title? LOL!
I wish I could say "Giving Away the Guilt," but really I'm not there yet.
See, today, I cleaned out the pantry in the kitchen. As I tried to shove the syrup and peanut butter back in there this morning, I decided that the time had come. I'll never quite understand why someone has to put the box of Triscuits back in there with exactly *3* crackers in it, or why, for the love, can't folks check UPSTAIRS before they raid the stash downstairs. I found *3* boxes of Wheat Thins. All open, all mostly full, and all stale. Bleck! I'm making a sign. We'll see if it works.
Added 2 more bags to the count, and now I can easily put the cereal, peanut butter, and flour away where it belongs!
Now to the point of this post.....(you knew I'd get there eventually, right?)
I gave away my cookie cutters. Again.
Here's the reality. I'm not a cookie cutter mom. Somewhere in my Jane Cleaver-SAHM delusions, I think I should be. But the truth of the matter is, I'm not. I don't like sugar cookies. Shannon can't eat regular sugar cookies, and gluten free ones don't stand up to rolling and cutting and the like. We don't do salt dough around here, either.
I'm not a cookie cutter mom. So, I gave the whole box of cookie cutters to my neighbor. And I feel a touch of guilt about that. But then I realize that having the cookie cutters lurking in the back of the cupboard actually fuels more guilt, reminding me of who I think I should be and who I'm not. So, today I'm embracing that little factoid about myself.
I'm not a cookie cutter mom. And that's okay.
I wish I could say "Giving Away the Guilt," but really I'm not there yet.
See, today, I cleaned out the pantry in the kitchen. As I tried to shove the syrup and peanut butter back in there this morning, I decided that the time had come. I'll never quite understand why someone has to put the box of Triscuits back in there with exactly *3* crackers in it, or why, for the love, can't folks check UPSTAIRS before they raid the stash downstairs. I found *3* boxes of Wheat Thins. All open, all mostly full, and all stale. Bleck! I'm making a sign. We'll see if it works.
Added 2 more bags to the count, and now I can easily put the cereal, peanut butter, and flour away where it belongs!
Now to the point of this post.....(you knew I'd get there eventually, right?)
I gave away my cookie cutters. Again.
Here's the reality. I'm not a cookie cutter mom. Somewhere in my Jane Cleaver-SAHM delusions, I think I should be. But the truth of the matter is, I'm not. I don't like sugar cookies. Shannon can't eat regular sugar cookies, and gluten free ones don't stand up to rolling and cutting and the like. We don't do salt dough around here, either.
I'm not a cookie cutter mom. So, I gave the whole box of cookie cutters to my neighbor. And I feel a touch of guilt about that. But then I realize that having the cookie cutters lurking in the back of the cupboard actually fuels more guilt, reminding me of who I think I should be and who I'm not. So, today I'm embracing that little factoid about myself.
I'm not a cookie cutter mom. And that's okay.
40 Bags Update
I've been editting that other post, crossing things off and such, but it gets bogged down and I think my other posts are getting buried because each time I edit it, I move it to the top of the page, making it look like I haven't written anything else.
So, a quick update.
The kids have really worked hard on their rooms. They're not finished yet, but they've made AMAZING progress and I'm so proud because they've done much of the work.
I've cleaned out the kids' bathroom, with their help.
I cleaned out the bookshelves in the basement, getting rid of DVDs, Wii games, and books. I've finally given up (mostly) the delusion of an "educational" summer. Or at least the kind of education that includes worksheets and planned science experiments. I'm sure the kids will, once again, learn that water+dirt=mud and lots of fun. We'll go letterboxing and to the library, visit a museum or two, the zoo and the aquarium (yes, there is an aquarium in the desert of Salt Lake City). Hopefully, they'll learn to cook a meal or two.
Bruce read something somewhere that said that if you give your kids 12 books to read over the summer (and they do it) then that's really all the need to avoid the summer slump/knowledge loss. My kids are readers. They read everything they can get their hands on. And, as we've sorted through things, they've rediscovered their own libraries. So, in addition to the "stuff" leaving the house, I've gotten rid of a bit of guilt too.
However, there's some guilt still. A bunch of the books Alana wants to get rid of are cute books that my mom gave her. They're truly wonderful books. But they're for pre-schoolers and Alana's long since outgrown them. In a purge a while back, I did keep a pile of books, mostly Dr. Seuss books, for posterity. But really, how much can I keep? How much should I keep? It's not like books are going to fade out of our existance. But actual, physical books with pages to turn rather than screens to slide seem to be on the endangered list (I really hope not...there's nothing like the experience of reading a book...and besides, if you drop your Kindle in the tub.....). So, I'm passing on some of these books. They're going to the preschool program at my church, where I'm sure they will be well-loved. But I still feel just a tad guilty, and I wonder if there will be fall out from my mom when/if she finds out.
And then there are the sappy "To my Daughter with Love" books, also from my mom. I'm not really a sappy person. These books don't really speak to me, encourage me, or make me feel loved. They're too rosy, too lacy, too frilly for my taste. And yet. They're from my mom, and they speak of her love for me, in all it's imperfections. But they also irritate me. Doesn't she know who I am? Doesn't she realize that I'm not a lacy, rosy, frilly person?! Truthfully, these books don't bring me joy. In fact, I grind my teeth everytime I see them and so I don't really want to keep them. But they were given in love, so........
AAAHHHHHH!!!
So, a quick update.
The kids have really worked hard on their rooms. They're not finished yet, but they've made AMAZING progress and I'm so proud because they've done much of the work.
I've cleaned out the kids' bathroom, with their help.
I cleaned out the bookshelves in the basement, getting rid of DVDs, Wii games, and books. I've finally given up (mostly) the delusion of an "educational" summer. Or at least the kind of education that includes worksheets and planned science experiments. I'm sure the kids will, once again, learn that water+dirt=mud and lots of fun. We'll go letterboxing and to the library, visit a museum or two, the zoo and the aquarium (yes, there is an aquarium in the desert of Salt Lake City). Hopefully, they'll learn to cook a meal or two.
Bruce read something somewhere that said that if you give your kids 12 books to read over the summer (and they do it) then that's really all the need to avoid the summer slump/knowledge loss. My kids are readers. They read everything they can get their hands on. And, as we've sorted through things, they've rediscovered their own libraries. So, in addition to the "stuff" leaving the house, I've gotten rid of a bit of guilt too.
However, there's some guilt still. A bunch of the books Alana wants to get rid of are cute books that my mom gave her. They're truly wonderful books. But they're for pre-schoolers and Alana's long since outgrown them. In a purge a while back, I did keep a pile of books, mostly Dr. Seuss books, for posterity. But really, how much can I keep? How much should I keep? It's not like books are going to fade out of our existance. But actual, physical books with pages to turn rather than screens to slide seem to be on the endangered list (I really hope not...there's nothing like the experience of reading a book...and besides, if you drop your Kindle in the tub.....). So, I'm passing on some of these books. They're going to the preschool program at my church, where I'm sure they will be well-loved. But I still feel just a tad guilty, and I wonder if there will be fall out from my mom when/if she finds out.
And then there are the sappy "To my Daughter with Love" books, also from my mom. I'm not really a sappy person. These books don't really speak to me, encourage me, or make me feel loved. They're too rosy, too lacy, too frilly for my taste. And yet. They're from my mom, and they speak of her love for me, in all it's imperfections. But they also irritate me. Doesn't she know who I am? Doesn't she realize that I'm not a lacy, rosy, frilly person?! Truthfully, these books don't bring me joy. In fact, I grind my teeth everytime I see them and so I don't really want to keep them. But they were given in love, so........
AAAHHHHHH!!!
"Are you my wife?!"
asked my darling husband, putting a worried hand to my forehead.
See, I bought Velveeta, and I'm giving away books.
See, I bought Velveeta, and I'm giving away books.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Ramblings on Frustration
I'm tired. This isn't a surprise to anyone who knows me, but it's frustrating to me nonetheless. I get particularly frustrated with myself because I say I'm tired, and then stay up to watch fluff on the 10 o'clock news. Yes, I know for many of you, 10 is early, but when I really need to be functioning by 6:30 or so the next morning, it's late. And yet.....
Of course, I have reasons to be tired. Last week was completely crazy and I demanded a high price from my poor body.
Wednesday: 9-1 Work at Dream Dinners. Run errands all afternoon, back to work at 5 until midnight.
Thursday: Taught 1st grade. Kids that age are adorable and totally exhausting. Set up at the Expo from 4:30 to 8:30. Home to finish up some final prep for that.
Friday: Expo from 8 am to midnight. Yes, that's 16 hours.
Saturday: Expo from 8 am to 8 pm, including take down.
Sunday was church and a nap in the afternoon, but then I had Expo stuff to sort out so I worked some on that as well.
I'm frustrated over Expo.
I'm frustrated that the kids' rooms aren't finished.
I'm frustrated that I haven't cleaned out much of the rest of the house.
I'm frustrated that I made mistakes at work, causing me to be removed from that particular task. I'm relieved to not have that added responsibility, and then frustrated because I'm relieved. I could use the hours to pay off the CC bill from the inventory I purchased for Expo.
I'm frustrated that I struggle to get dinner made each night. Last week we had eggs 3 different nights. That just screams "YOU'RE A TERRIBLE MOTHER!!!"
I'm frustrated with the word "budget." That's become a new 4-letter word in my mind.
I'm frustrated that I don't have time to read or create.
This week is Spring Break, so you'd think it'd carry a lighter load. And yet.
We're mucking out the kids' rooms this week. On Friday the girls got a really good start on theirs, with Bruce's help. I was really proud of them because it was their own idea and mostly their own efforts. Tristan has been working on his as well, though right now, it looks like a bomb went off. He's got his bookcase cleaned out as well as his closet, and has removed 4 bags of trash/recycling. The boy has no sentimental attachment to anything, though, as he was ready to get rid of ALL of his school projects from years' past. I salvaged a small stack and I know he'll thank me down the road....or his wife and children will!
We're in the midst of fundraising season, raising money for bell tour, Scouts, and the youth mission trip. I've written before about my frustration with the youth leader and her "youth is the only thing that matters" attitude, so I won't expand on that too much except to say that it's adding to my frustration.
I'm feeling a great deal of pressure myself to get the rest of the house cleaned out. I'd hoped to do the bedding switchover this week, but the weather, so far hasn't cooperated (I like to dry the bedding outside as the sun is a natural germ-killer/bleaching agent). Today is beautiful, but I've decided that chore needs to wait just a bit longer and I'll be okay with it.
I was also hoping to do the clothing switch-over too. But again, the weather is so fickle right now that it seems prudent to wait a few more weeks.
So, I'm frustrated about that, and relieved at the same time because it's one less thing I *have* to do this week. And then I feel guilty for being relieved.
I need to follow up on leads from the Scrapbook Expo, finish unpacking my stuff from that adventure, etc. One of the 6 consultants involved in that has been driving me crazy too. She treats me like I don't know what I'm doing, scolding me like a child, nagging, and so forth. Makes me completely insane! I haven't worked this particular venue before, but I have done trade shows and I've worked in customer service-type jobs for YEARS. I know what I'm doing. Further, she's the culprit in many of the problems, NOT ME, so it's very hard to listen to her tell me what to do when she's ignoring her own "wisdom." Clean your own house, lady, before you start white-gloving mine!
So, in the next few days, I need to:
Help the kids finish up their rooms
Get a hair cut
Go to the library
Get new shoes for myself and Tristan
Tristan's passport photos
Tristan to passport office (as a minor, it requires both parents to physically show up at the office to get him a passport, which he needs before getting on a plane for bell tour this summer..photo ID required and it seemed better to do a passport than a state ID).
Make contact with all the leads from Expo (there's 40-50)
Sort and inventory my submissions for the consignment sale. Hanging and tagging would be a bonus.
Looking further ahead:
Alana's birthday and birthday party
Consignment sale
National Scrapbook Day
Then I look around and see other people and start comparing myself to them. I have two friends who have very large families. They (seem to) keep their homes clean, do the laundry, cook meals for their brood and the entire community, make their beds everyday, can their own salsa, raise chickens, AND find time to be creative, all on a shoe-string budget. And they HOMESCHOOL to boot! Why can't I? *sigh* And then I'm frustrated with myself for the comparisons. I know these wonderful ladies have their own struggles and challenges, as I know them well and am blessed to be allowed to peak into their hearts and souls during the trying times too. So who am I to complain? And the vicious guilt cycle starts up again.
And yet, it seems that they THRIVE on just a few hours of sleep each night. Exhaustion doesn't seem to get in the way of their lives. But again, how do I know that? Maybe they just don't complain as much as I do? And then I have guilt.
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I wish that made me feel better.
Okay, so it does, if only a little bit. :-)
Why can't I cut myself a break? Why am I so very demanding of myself? How do I motivate myself to be the best Erica I can be without the damaging effects from guilt and perfectionism? Why do I do this to myself? And, more importantly, how do I stop?
Of course, I have reasons to be tired. Last week was completely crazy and I demanded a high price from my poor body.
Wednesday: 9-1 Work at Dream Dinners. Run errands all afternoon, back to work at 5 until midnight.
Thursday: Taught 1st grade. Kids that age are adorable and totally exhausting. Set up at the Expo from 4:30 to 8:30. Home to finish up some final prep for that.
Friday: Expo from 8 am to midnight. Yes, that's 16 hours.
Saturday: Expo from 8 am to 8 pm, including take down.
Sunday was church and a nap in the afternoon, but then I had Expo stuff to sort out so I worked some on that as well.
I'm frustrated over Expo.
I'm frustrated that the kids' rooms aren't finished.
I'm frustrated that I haven't cleaned out much of the rest of the house.
I'm frustrated that I made mistakes at work, causing me to be removed from that particular task. I'm relieved to not have that added responsibility, and then frustrated because I'm relieved. I could use the hours to pay off the CC bill from the inventory I purchased for Expo.
I'm frustrated that I struggle to get dinner made each night. Last week we had eggs 3 different nights. That just screams "YOU'RE A TERRIBLE MOTHER!!!"
I'm frustrated with the word "budget." That's become a new 4-letter word in my mind.
I'm frustrated that I don't have time to read or create.
This week is Spring Break, so you'd think it'd carry a lighter load. And yet.
We're mucking out the kids' rooms this week. On Friday the girls got a really good start on theirs, with Bruce's help. I was really proud of them because it was their own idea and mostly their own efforts. Tristan has been working on his as well, though right now, it looks like a bomb went off. He's got his bookcase cleaned out as well as his closet, and has removed 4 bags of trash/recycling. The boy has no sentimental attachment to anything, though, as he was ready to get rid of ALL of his school projects from years' past. I salvaged a small stack and I know he'll thank me down the road....or his wife and children will!
We're in the midst of fundraising season, raising money for bell tour, Scouts, and the youth mission trip. I've written before about my frustration with the youth leader and her "youth is the only thing that matters" attitude, so I won't expand on that too much except to say that it's adding to my frustration.
I'm feeling a great deal of pressure myself to get the rest of the house cleaned out. I'd hoped to do the bedding switchover this week, but the weather, so far hasn't cooperated (I like to dry the bedding outside as the sun is a natural germ-killer/bleaching agent). Today is beautiful, but I've decided that chore needs to wait just a bit longer and I'll be okay with it.
I was also hoping to do the clothing switch-over too. But again, the weather is so fickle right now that it seems prudent to wait a few more weeks.
So, I'm frustrated about that, and relieved at the same time because it's one less thing I *have* to do this week. And then I feel guilty for being relieved.
I need to follow up on leads from the Scrapbook Expo, finish unpacking my stuff from that adventure, etc. One of the 6 consultants involved in that has been driving me crazy too. She treats me like I don't know what I'm doing, scolding me like a child, nagging, and so forth. Makes me completely insane! I haven't worked this particular venue before, but I have done trade shows and I've worked in customer service-type jobs for YEARS. I know what I'm doing. Further, she's the culprit in many of the problems, NOT ME, so it's very hard to listen to her tell me what to do when she's ignoring her own "wisdom." Clean your own house, lady, before you start white-gloving mine!
So, in the next few days, I need to:
Help the kids finish up their rooms
Get a hair cut
Go to the library
Get new shoes for myself and Tristan
Tristan's passport photos
Tristan to passport office (as a minor, it requires both parents to physically show up at the office to get him a passport, which he needs before getting on a plane for bell tour this summer..photo ID required and it seemed better to do a passport than a state ID).
Make contact with all the leads from Expo (there's 40-50)
Sort and inventory my submissions for the consignment sale. Hanging and tagging would be a bonus.
Looking further ahead:
Alana's birthday and birthday party
Consignment sale
National Scrapbook Day
Then I look around and see other people and start comparing myself to them. I have two friends who have very large families. They (seem to) keep their homes clean, do the laundry, cook meals for their brood and the entire community, make their beds everyday, can their own salsa, raise chickens, AND find time to be creative, all on a shoe-string budget. And they HOMESCHOOL to boot! Why can't I? *sigh* And then I'm frustrated with myself for the comparisons. I know these wonderful ladies have their own struggles and challenges, as I know them well and am blessed to be allowed to peak into their hearts and souls during the trying times too. So who am I to complain? And the vicious guilt cycle starts up again.
And yet, it seems that they THRIVE on just a few hours of sleep each night. Exhaustion doesn't seem to get in the way of their lives. But again, how do I know that? Maybe they just don't complain as much as I do? And then I have guilt.
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I wish that made me feel better.
Okay, so it does, if only a little bit. :-)
Why can't I cut myself a break? Why am I so very demanding of myself? How do I motivate myself to be the best Erica I can be without the damaging effects from guilt and perfectionism? Why do I do this to myself? And, more importantly, how do I stop?
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