Why we chose to foster

When we tell people that we do foster care, most of the time people express their admiration for us being willing to do that. True, it isn't for the faint of heart, but more people are capable of doing this than they realize. I know, because my first reaction was that I could never do foster care.

Prior to my participation at Wood Badge in 2006, the only thing I knew about foster care was what I saw on TV. And it wasn't the best image. I went to Wood Badge to learn about becoming a better leader/commnunicator/team player. I believe that any training you can get that helps you become a better person is well worth it. Of course, it's put on by the Boy Scouts of America and I was looking forward to the scouting experience (I come from a family of 5 boys and a dad who was a scoutmaster for a long time so scouting is in my blood). I was surprised to arrive and find that about one-third of the course participants were from the juvenile court system in various positions such as parole officer, CPS workers, etc. (I don't remember all the specifics). Even the course director was a judge. I enjoyed getting to know these wonderful people who have hearts of gold and are truly advocates for the children and teenagers that come into the system. Towards the end of the course, when we were bonding with our patrols, we started talking about foster care. (One of our patrol members works directly in the CPS program). She gave an awesome presentation that seemed to awaken something inside me. She actually suggested to me and my friend that we should consider becoming foster parents. We talked about it and my first thought was, "I have a hard enough time with my own kids sometimes. How in the world could I take on more kids!" I was convinced it was not for me, but I took an informational packet to show my husband (I don't know why). After showing it to Eric and talking about how fabulous the course and the people were, I put foster care out of my mind. 

 But nuggets of thought work in a funny way. Once it's in your mind, it tends to be recalled at odd times.

Every once in a while, it would come up in our conversation. We always felt that spark of desire to help the children that get caught in undesirable situations. For me, the song "Because I Have Been Given Much" kept going through my head. One particular scripture stood out, "...Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." (Matt. 25:40). Other scriptures have also influenced my feelings, but this stood out the most. We also thought that this might be the route through which we adopt, since at one point we felt that was in our future.

We believe that these children deserved the chance to experience a stable home, one where they could have refuge until it was safe for them to go back home. For some, it might be the only time they experience such a thing. If they're going to be removed from their home, why not have them stay with us. Children go into foster care for all different reasons but in most cases (that I've seen so far), the parents love their children and will usually work hard to resolve the issues so the children can come back.

Everytime we talked about possibly doing foster care, these wonderful songs and thoughts came up, but in the end, we'd convince ourselves that there's no way we could do this...and still be sane. Then it was put out of thought, again. At one point, I was reconnecting with an old friend and I discovered she was a foster parent. After expressing to her my fears, concerns, and feelings of inadequacy, the reservations disappeared and, after 6 months of thinking about it, we found ourselves making the call to the local Health and Welfare department to get started with training and licensing.

It has been an adventure, to say the least! We have had many children come into our home and each of them have taught us something. We almost adopted 3-sibling group (we ended up not being selected). With each placement, we learn a little more about how to be better foster parents. With this current placement, I have truly felt that I am helping my brother and sister (in the gospel sense) work towards reunification. So far, it has been awesome experience for our family.

Like I said before, being a foster parent is not for the faint of heart, but more people can do this than they realize. True, you do get attached to the children and it hurts when they leave. But you and the child(ren) are better for it. There's a saying, "It is better to have loved, and lost, than never to have loved at all." Each of these children leave an imprint in our hearts and we remember them, long after they have left. And I hope they remember us, long after they leave.

Validation

Eric and I had the opportunity to attend a workshop called "Discovering the Keys to A Loving Relationship." It was a two day workshop and we throughly enjoyed it. We laughed and cried and made new friends. We accepted challenges to find creative ways of expressing our love to each other. We learned techniques for better communication (like validation). A lot of what we heard wasn't anything new, but you gain an understanding of why it works and how to use it effectively in your marriage.

Here's a short video that demonstrates validation. It's about 16 minutes but I promise you that it is worth the time. Sit back and enjoy.



It is important to validate the feelings of those around us. When we show that we acknowledge them and the things they say, it makes them feel as though we care about them and what they have to say is important. I realized that this was something I did when I was in Primary. Those kids just lap it up and bask in the love and attention they are getting. Why is it that it's harder to do with the teenagers and adults around us?! If everyone did this with those they came in contact with throughout the day, imagine how much better this world would be...as evidenced in this video above!! Maybe there really would be world peace! (Hey, we can dream, right?!)

It's official, I'm a DORK

Maybe you should hear the whole story first but I'm sure it won't change the result. Most of my readers understand the LDS culture so I won't explain everything. If any of you recently had a baby, maybe you shouldn't read this...

A few weeks ago I was at the park having lunch with my kids and some other women from my ward and their kids. It's a daily ritual for us and the USDA provides a grant for lunches to be distributed at certain parks in the area. One lady in particular was very pregnant and was eagerly anticipating her due date. I visit teach her so I was looking forward to the chance to see her new little one. One day, before this lady showed up, my RS president turned to me (she also eats at the park with us) and asked me if I would make a meal for the lady mentioned above. Of course I told her yes and she even gave me the choice of days! Sweet! The choices were Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. I chose Monday figuring I should do it before I got too busy with my week. (It's been known to happen!) She reminded me a couple more times before the park lunches stopped. And of course I remembered every time. How could I forget something like that?! I didn't need to write it on my calendar...I'd remember.

My friend's due date came and she delivered her baby (induced). They announced the birth in church and via email from the RS president. Monday came and I had a crazy day. Eric was late coming home from work (came home at 7 pm) and we had stuff that needed to be taken care of with Health and Welfare during the day. I barely got dinner made for my family and headed out the door for my 8 pm appointment. I remembered that I was supposed to take dinner to my friend at 5:30 pm on the way to my 8 pm appointment!!! Of course my hand smacks my forehead at this realization that I let someone down.

So I called my friend and profusely apologized for missing dinner that day. I told her I wanted to make it up to her and offered to bring her dinner...again. She left the date up to me so I decided that since I forgot on a Monday, I definltey would remember on a Tuesday! I wrote it on my calendar so I wouldn't forget. Today. Tuesday the 18th. Can't forget that, right?!

At 10:30 pm, I got home from an awesome, inspiring EFY meeting with the youth and leaders in my ward and eat the dinner that I didn't have time to eat before I left at 6 pm. At that point I realized...I forgot to take dinner to my friend...AGAIN!! I get on the phone right away and call her and apologize profusely. I can't believe I forgot twice in a row!! I'd offer to make dinner for her again but I think she'd just laugh at me in the face. I don't blame her...I wouldn't trust myself a third time either! LOL! So I told her I'd visit her in the morning.

Now I need to put together a peace offering. Banana Bread?

I can't believe this happened. I have NEVER forgotten to take a meal to someone before! So, it's official...that's why I'm calling myself a dork. At least I'm laughing while I'm typing this. If I can't laugh at this, what can I laugh at?!

Feeling VERY inspired

Summer must be keeping all of my usual readers very busy because my last few posts had "0" comments! So I kind of stayed away from blogging. But now I have to repent and keep blogging away...if only for my own personal recordkeeping. (Journal writing is too hard! :- ) )

Last week I went to girls camp. I wish I had pictures to post but I didn't take my camera with me. *Gasp!* I know...shocking! I figured enough people were taking theirs and it would be silly to take a picture of someone else taking a picture. It would be easy enough to get the pictures I want from them...right? Still haven't done that. (Hey, we just got back last Friday!) Some of you who have facebook might have seen the ones that I was tagged in. Anyway, the camp director, Sandi Henderson, is a wonderfully talented lady who moved into our ward (from the married student ward) and just as quickly as she moved in, she moved out! (The day after we got back from camp, she moved to Montana.) She has her own business designing fabrics and patterns. She is in the process of making a book and has her hands in so many wonderful projects. Such a lucky lady. Our camp theme was Royal Generation and each ward chose a princess with a kingdom for their camp theme. By the time they got to our ward, some of the obvious princesses we all know were already chosen. But our wise and fearless leader chose Mulan of Ming Dynasty. (Now I haven't seen the movie so I hope I got that right.) So, going along with the Mulan theme, she decided to make kimonos for the girls and leaders. And I got to help her make them! We spent endless days (well, probably 5 to be exact) sewing for a few hours a day. When we were done, we had 15 kimonos and a stack of scarves to last til kingdom come! (All camp participants wear scarves to identify wards by color). I'll post a picture in the next few days and share a little more detail of camp stuff. For now, the reason I feel so inspired...

Sitting in my friend's sewing room surrounded by beautiful colorful fabrics and wonderful project ideas really inspired me to get over my love/hate relationship with my sewing machine. I love it and it looks pretty sitting in my laundry room but I just can't bring myself to use it because I'm afraid I'll mess up something that is pretty costly to replace. I just can't afford to take that risk! But, I see so many wonderful things that people make and I think to myself, "I can do that!" So...here's where I feel really inspired and feel like I can conquer anything! My first project will be a market bag for Kaitlyn that Sandi designed. I'll take pictures and post them along the way!

I also just recently got a watch/bracelet combo that a friend made for me. To me this is the best of both worlds...the beauty of a beaded bracelet and the functionality of a watch combined in one! Some of you may know this as Bumbles which can be costly. I'm going to try making the watch straps myself. We'll see how that turns out! I'll post my projects as I work on them.

So, are you feeling inspired to make things? Let me know what wonderful things you're doing!

Life with a toddler in the house...

I probably already mentioned this but for those who forgot...we have two little kiddos with us now... a 5 1/2 year old and a 22 month old. When they came, the younger child was 18 months old. He was pretty sick and not walking at all. As time passed he got better, learned to walk, and has since been gaining confidence in himself and the world around him. Now he's like any other 2 year old and we have had to keep an eye on him so he doesn't get into everything! Our first indicator that he was developmentally caught up was when my husband came home from work and found this in the kitchen...

The funny thing is I was with A in the kitchen earlier (making dinner) and had left him just a minute prior. When I was in there with him, he was opening drawers and playing with the stuff inside. I had to laugh when I walked into the kitchen and saw this! It's too cute! He had dropped the container with the pink sprinkles and it cracked. Upon picking it up, the sprinkles started coming out which led to him shaking it. The pink sprinkles were everywhere! We stripped him, gave him a bath to remove the pink dye then cleaned up the kitchen. After sweeping, we had a huge pink spot on the floor still! Love the pink feet!!

A loves to give us kisses and hugs and always has a smile for us. He's such a sweet little boy. I will miss him when he leaves!

Summer Visitor

The other day Kaitlyn's friend came over to play and brought her motor scooter. She parked her scooter in our garage and we closed the door to keep it from being stolen. As her friend was leaving, Kaitlyn and Jared come running in to my bedroom..."Mom! There's a snake in the garage!! Come get it, quick!" I thought for sure this was some sort of prank. So out I went to the garage and sure enough, right where the back wheel of the motor scooter was, there's a small snake coiled up, poised to strike.

Of course I go in panic mode (but not too bad because I'm the only grown up around and I gotta protect my kids) wondering how in the world to catch this snake. So I run inside and find a bucket, find some leather work gloves and a stick when my prince in shining armor comes walking up the driveway (just arriving home from work). I gladly handed him the stuff and told him he had to catch the snake then proceeded to get up on a chair so the snake wouldn't come after me. I'm not a fan of snakes. I'd rather see them in a glass aquarium than in my personal living space. (I guess this is one of the downsides to having a field in your backyard.)

So my kids, after seeing my reaction, found a rubber snake that Jared has and for the last 2 days have been strategically placing the fake snake in places where I will find it like my purse, the cereal bag, my chair, and right inside my bedroom door to name a few. The first few times it startled me, now I just find the snake and look accusingly at my kids after which they giggle and take pride in the fact they put a toy snake somewhere where I'd find it. I think it's so funny that they find this so entertaining...even after 2 days!

We took pictures of the snake and then went online to figure out what kind of snake it is. We can't tell exactly the breed but we are sure it's not venomous (what a relief, right?). It does have teeth but we aren't sure if it will hurt if it bites (and I don't think I want to find out). Now my kids and husband are begging to keep it as a pet. My neighbor, who found a baby rattlesnake in her garage a couple of years ago, actually encouraged my hubby by telling him that Wal-Mart has aquariums for $12! She even told us that it would be better (less time consuming and cheaper) for us in the long run to get a couple of mice and breed them in our garage for feeding to the snake! Ugh!! I'm just not ready for this. When my kids ask about keeping the snake, all I can think of is the snake getting out of it's cage and being loose in the house. I just can't handle that thought. I'd temporarily move out until the snake was caught..er, found, and evicted from the house.

What do you think? Would you let them keep this snake??

Rain, rain and more rain

Quick!! Someone alert Seattle! Are they missing any rain? We certainly found it.

Ever since school got out on May 28th, it has been raining. I don't mind it, it certainly beats 100 degree weather...but it's hard to keep kids entertained indoors for days on end! My yard has mushrooms growing in it and we haven't turned the sprinklers on all month! My friend was commenting a few days ago that it rained 12 out of the last 13 days (as of that date). It didn't rain yesterday so by that calculation, it rained 18 out of the last 20 days. At this moment, the clouds are gathering overhead and the wind is blowing like crazy. A few drops of rain even made it's way to the ground. I think now would be a good time to invest in a rain coat and good rubber boots. Except if I cave now and buy it, chances are the rain will stop the minute the debit charge clears my bank.

(It really is this gloomy outside right now.)

Eric decided that Seattle would be his dream place to live because he just loves this kind of weather. It reminds him of the sudden downpours that he saw when he was growing up (Florida). This gives me a sudden flashback- I remember going out on rainy days (when I was a lot younger) and singing on the top of my lungs, "Rain, rain, go away. Come again some other day!"

How are things in your neck of the woods? Is the weather the same as usual for you or different? Leave a comment and let me know!



P.S. I finally downloaded the pictures from my camera- all 592 of them! So I'll post some pictures soon so you can see what we've been up to!

Help the environment

Another giveaway on the Shopping with Cents blog I check out. They're giving away a set of two reusable shopping bags to some lucky follower. So I am shamelessly trying to win by posting about their giveaway. The bags are cute! I don't know abut you but I prefer using these kind of bags anyway- not only does it help the environment but the bags don't break like the plastic ones do and they hold a LOT more stuff which means less trips back and forth from the car!! Getting this for free is a fabulous deal!