Urmila's Journey

Hello friends and family!  To be able to keep you in better touch with this long and confusing adoption process, we have finally started a blog to chronicle our daughter’s journey home to us.  As most of you know, this wait has been long and difficult, and we truly appreciate all of your good wishes, prayers, and positive thoughts that she will be home soon.  We found out yesterday that we are CARA approved, so that was one step closer to our case making its final rounds in court. Unfortunately, we were also told that due to the busy holiday season this time of year in India, we are now hoping to have Urmila home by Christmas. Today we were able to send off a few little school books and a blanket that “smells like home” to her.  One of our case managers, Lisa, (pictured below) is returning from Delhi this week and we should have new photos and video to share with you all soon!  Lisa travels to India about four times a year to check on the kids, and to provide waiting, adoptive parents with new pictures and videos of their children.

Urmila is in the light blue dress in the center of her friends.

Our darling, little Urmila

Urmila will join her brothers at Diegueno Country School… They are in the fifth and third grades this year!

The entire family joined in building Urmila’s closet

Her room is finished at last!

We can’t wait for our family to grow!

Well, the past couple of weeks has been filled with the energy and zest that fall brings… We gorged ourselves on Halloween treats, carved pumpkins, and celebrated Diwali!  Diwali, (pronounced sort of like: deewally or deevolly depending how American you want to sound) is an Indian festival of lights, that is similar to our ushering in the New Year by saying wishes for a good year to come, and looking back on the old year and reflecting on all that we learned and experienced.  We headed down to Balboa park, with our friend, Leah and her son, Utham (who also happens to be adopted from India, and is one cool kid!).  The boys humored us by agreeing to go with us to witness this beautiful, cultural event.

The children were a vision in their vibrant colors!

I wish I had this much flair when I dress up!

Spencer, Keegan and Utham, enjoying all the cultural event had to offer by playing “baseball”, with other tortured boys dragged along to experience this sacred event.

AND… Drumroll please… THE LATEST PHOTOS OF OUR DARLING DAUGHTER!!

EEEEK!! We LOVE her.

She shines.

Her amazing, precious friends at S.O.S. Children’s village.

We love this one.

AND… Her wonderful big brothers…

Keegan and his bunny friend at the pumpkin patch

Spence and his bunny pal at the patch

So you might be wondering why I titled this blog, “Diwali and dress sizes”.  Unfortunately, it is because attached along with these latest photos from our agency’s rep. was a vague update on our travel time.  Lisa said that, “Urmila is about a size 6 or 6x right now, and will be about a size 6x or 7 when you travel to bring her home.”  I almost fell over.  She’s going to GROW before we bring her home??? Nooooooo!  That’s too long!  In sum, it looks like we will be lucky to have her here by January.  The wait is heartbreaking, but honestly, we have to find peace in our belief that there is a plan, and in it, her timing of coming home to us will be just as it was meant to be.  Until then, please continue to send your love and strength to our precious daughter so far away.  We know she must feel it.

Dear friends!  We MAY have some encouraging news timeline-wise.  While we were in Europe two weeks ago, we received an email from the US Embassy in Delhi regarding Urmila’s visa processing and what to expect while we pick it up in Delhi.  The good news about this letter was that it was addressed to, “parents traveling in December and January”!!!!

So here is the timeline we are looking at now… We wait for our “guardianship call” to tell us we are Urmila’s official guardians.  We THEN wait 10 days for a “stamp” on the guardianship papers.  She is THEN officially our daughter waiting for us in India, and thus eligible for her passport.  We THEN wait 7-14 days for the passport to be processed and wait for that notification.  THEN we book our flights, hotel and TRAVEL.  We are really really close, but still a few hoops.

Urmila is scheduled to receive her final medical exam and immunizations in the next couple of weeks, so keep her in your thoughts… No mommy or daddy with her to offer comfort!  It breaks our hearts.

We are getting ready for Christmas, and all the joy and hustle and bustle this time of year brings.  Thank you for your ongoing support, love and good wishes.

We were hoping to get our permission to travel while we were in Paris… we were half-way there!  lots of love, E, J, S and K

Today was stressful.  I received an email from our agency in Oregon that informed me that our home study is due to expire Feb. 12th, 2010.  I was then urged to begin the process of renewing it “just in case”.  I can’t even tell you how this felt.  The home study paper trail is overwhelming, and it looks like the process of background checks, medicals etc. might have to be REPEATED.  Our dear social worker will have to come back out to conduct an extension interview and write up ANOTHER report.  We are honestly at our wits end.  While our agency is requesting that we do this as a precaution, it was still so sad to hear.  Journeys of the Heart still hopes that we will receive our guardianship any day now, and travel in January, but to have the stress of an expiring home study looming overhead is over the top.  We were honest with the boys about this news, and they were of course upset.  Please pray that we hear good news soon.  Love, E and family

YIPEEEEEEE, HORAY, WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!!! The news we have WAITED and WAITED for arrived this morning… We received our verbal guardianship!!!!!!!  I was walking around in circles crying and laughing while I was on the phone with our adoption coordinator, Katie.  She said, “Merry Christmas, we have good news for you…”  I can’t stop choking up!  The extension filing process has been called off, and we now wait to get our “stamp” of written guardianship (normally 10 days, but with the holidays, more like 18), then her passport is processed (7-14 days), and we book travel!  Katie thinks we will be traveling the last week of January, or the first week of February.  Our home study expires one week later, so we are JUST under the wire PHEW!  Our traveling packet is going to be mailed to us today, and we will begin to complete airfare and hotel arrangements.  I can’t believe it!

This week, we were touched by our friend, Sushma, who offered to hand carry to Urmila a packet of beautiful drawings and letters from her dear classmates. Sushma is visiting her family in India for the holidays, so what a nice surprise it will be for Urmila when this packet arrives. -And what a treat that we didn’t have to wait forever for it to make it’s way to her!  Thanks Sushma!

We are overwhelmed with the spirit of love and encouragement that her little classmates have showed… Drawings of flowers and rainbows, colorful hearts and children holding hands.  Exclamations of, “I love you Urmila!” and “You’re a shining star!” warmed our hearts in this package for her.  She is really so fortunate to have landed this group of children in kindergarten.  They are very attached to the idea of her already.  Jeremiah and I went in to read with the kindergarten class (as we do every other week to get to know the kids), and one little boy said to me, “So, you’re Urmila’s mommy?”  Me:  “Yep!”  Child: “And that’s her daddy over there?”  Me:  “Yep.”  Child:  “So… are you going to just stay here and wait for her to get here?”  Lots of questions like this.  We also heard a story about the teachers telling the class that there would be a “special guest tomorrow”, and when a child showed up to tour the school with her parents, one little boy burst into tears proclaiming, “THAT’S not Urmila!  Urmila’s NEVER coming! WAAAAAA!”  They are counting the days, along with us… And how VERY, very thankful we are for this joyous news!

Our Christmas was full of family and joy, and we feel so lucky to have this wonderful group to welcome Urmila into!  We were so touched by the special gifts that family members gave us for her… from an engraved photo album that read, “Welcome Home Urmila” (from Nonni and Popi), to the most beautiful hand-knit poncho and blanket from Nana (Jeremiah’s grandmother).  Nana even used yellow for the yarn color, remembering it is Urmila’s favorite.  Grandma Lee already has a drawer in her spare room filled with leotards, tutus, pjs and other terrific yard sale finds!  We are trying our best to restrain ourselves from going too crazy with little girl things…  I need to try harder haha

Thanks to Grandma Lee for taking these great family photos while Jeremiah’s brother, Aaron and his wife, Laura are out visiting.  We have all been having lots of fun doing the crazy activities the holidays provide.  We keep saying, “Next Christmas, Urmila will be doing this with us!”  What a wonder it will be.

Well, I resisted writing an update about our situation until I was absolutely clear about what was happening with our case.  Warning:  what I’m about to write will outrage many of you.  We were supposed to travel this coming Saturday, and instead, last Thursday, we received a most disturbing phone call from our agency in OR… The judge wants to dismiss our case.  He feels that due to my child-bearing age, I am going to want more biological children, and he absolutely cannot understand why I would want to adopt an older child.  Upon hearing this news, I was ushered off to Kinkos at 10:00 at night (thank you Lisa O. for driving, as my knees were too weak), to meet a mobile notary to sign the most bizarre sworn statement attesting to outrageously personal conditions that related to his demands.  He said he would only re-consider his decision if the original doc. was on his desk the following Mon. So, this past Monday, Urmila’s orphanage director, Vijay, appeared before him again with the document in hand to plead with him.  This time she came armed with two attorneys.  He listened to their pleas, and had them return again Tues.  In desperation, Vijay asked the judge to, “please listen with his heart”.  She then went into a beautiful dissertation about how, “some people are just wired to want to adopt older children, it is just in their heart.”  And then pleaded with him that this was her life’s work, finding homes for older kids… should she not bring any more cases to the courts if this is going to happen?  No, no he assured her with a slight smile, she should continue to do so… giving us a glimmer of hope.  He then declared that he would consider all that she said and see them again on Feb. 23!!!!!!!!  For no apparent reason!!!  Vijay pleaded with him to not wait so long for his judgement, and he consented and agreed to give his final call on Feb. 3rd.  If he says no, our case will go to the High Court, and will take many months to appear for consideration.  In the mean time, we have several papers that expire Feb. 12th, not giving us time between his judgement (IF he says yes) to process her final docs and get out of the country.  I have spent the last two days RE-DOING our paperwork… hours.  I pretty much didn’t get out of bed Tuesday I was so sad.  Jeremiah has been a ROCK.  The boys are sad. Spencer said, “I TOLD you they LIE!  I KNEW she wouldn’t be home next week!”   It has been heart beaking.  I was hoping not to post all this… that there would eventually be good news to post, and that I could spare our friends and family the stress of the insanity of this, but I figured that you were all expecting to hear that we were home with Urmila soon, and would want to know why we weren’t.  Please send good thoughts and prayers that this judge would find it in his heart to understand that this child will be loved to the stars and back, and that older children deserve homes, and that these adoptions can have beautiful, happy endings.  Thank you.

This morning the judge was given my letter pleading for Urmila.  Her caretaker said, “Your Honor, what you will read is a mother’s heart.  Please listen to her.”  He will now give his decision on the 15th. We don’t understand what is happening.  He absolutely CANNOT give a reason as to why he won’t pass it.  We are sick.  We are tired.  Please continue to pray that he will bring this precious little girl home to her family.

With love and thanks.

This morning we had our much anticipated conference call to India, where I spoke with (for the the first time) Urmila’s caretaker, Vijay.  It was a bit a of surreal experience; I was nervous and completely forgot to ask all the questions that I wanted to ask -even though they were written, in large print, in front of me!  Geesz.  To be honest, it was difficult to entirely understand her through the phone lag and endearing accent.  Unfortunately, the most important information, as to why the judge is being so difficult, was answered with great gusto, quickly and excitedly, and in the thickest accent ever.  All I could derive was:  “one in a hundred times, judge with sixth sense to want to postpone, income, older, culture, letter, good body language, 15th, answer”.  I’m serious, that is all I could get out of a lengthy dissertation.  “Uh-huh, uh-huh, thank you, yes, yes”, was about the extent of my responses.  I got the sense that Vijay has been steadfast and fierce during her time in court.  She has fought for our daughter.  She is strong-willed and dedicated to these children who  have, literally, been thrown away.  She is a warrior, and I know she is doing all that she can.  She repeatedly asked for “patience”.  She delighted in the stories of Urmila’s classmates waiting for her with such love in their hearts.  She vowed to share these stories with Urmila.

To briefly connect with this tangible human being who is the most influential and important person in our daughter’s life was gratifying.  I look forward to meeting Vijay, in her office, in Urmila’s orphanage, in a country far, far away… very soon.

This is the email we received from our case manager at Journeys.  No answers, no explanations from the judge.  Friday is the last chance we are giving it before we take the entire case into our own hands.  This is absolutely nuts.  I walked around all day the 15th feeling like the blood was drained from my veins, and I didn’t even hear anything until the 16th.  It’s wild.  A big thank you to our friend, Sushma, who has graciously offered to receive the news and deliver it to us, as it is better coming from a friend… Poor Sushma.

Erin:

I don’t have a definite answer.  I hope emailing you is alright instead of calling Sushma. I just got off the phone with Vijay and they went to court yesterday and stood in front of the Judge.  The Judge  had no arguments (which I think is good), but would not give them an immediate answer.  He said he would give them his answer on Friday along with the court orders.  The court orders can be orders of approval or dismissals.  I pray the court order is one of approval, but if they are of dismissals your case will be sent to the high courts immediately.

Do you want me to call your friend Sushma, with the news or do you want me to call you?

It was Vijay’s birthday today and she said she is not celebrating it until your case passes.

With warm thoughts,

Lisa