i miss my kor kor

sigh~ its 4.23am now.. cant sleep for some reasons.. and guess what? i miss my kor kor.. my godbro tat is.. so long didnt contact him d.. hehe.. i mean the big kor kor lar... another kor kor i still see him online.. but seldom chat d.. but not to worry, i still love both of them equally! hehe.. i wish i can see thme both now.. haihz~ tats me n kor kor bernard~ took this pic in year 2003 when i was in standard 6.. hehe.. was his last day of teaching in my school.. miss him so much.. wonder if he still remembers me..haha p/s: its a group photo actually.. but i cut out only me n him.. sorry peeps! buti still hav d original pic k. hehe oh.. its supposed to be me n him wan this pic.. but i was blinking so i cut out only his face... hehe.. miss him ler! sigh~ i cant get a pic of my another korkor.. he dun seem to put up his pics anywhere.. too precious.. hehe.. even his school mag also dun hav... aih~ neway, still lvo him.. love you kor! muax!

i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you phew~ tat wasnt hard work..

sigh *looks into the air*

last few days has been bad.. sad days.. have been doin alot of private post on xanga.. school is gonna start d.. wanna go school ler! but mentally not prepared.. hehe.. sien loo.. anyway, last ntie had a dream, abt me n him.. takin a pic together.. it seemed so real.. but it wasnt.. i guess i was just dreamin of smtg tat will never come true.. i dunnno how i feel, but i guess i love him more than a fren.. nah~ this post sucks.. no mood to blog now.. happy new year everyone.. memories fo 05 will be here.. but start a whole brand new 06..

merry xmas

ho ho ho!!! merry xmas everyone! and happy new year.. forget what happened in the year 2005.. i had a bad year 2005.. but well, life has to go on ryte.. i hope for the best in year 2006.. may god bless and mayb everyone be happy.. have urself a great new year and merry xmas

home sweet home

im back frm workcamp! the camp was super fun tho some times got lah suffer a bit.. hmm... i dowanna comment anything abt the camp.. tho got lah sad part.. hehehe.. okok, i need to get my shower now.. haven't bathe since this morninrg.. hehe.. turra!

growin up..

im back here again after going to bangkok, kl, and now juz after swimming.. somehow i wish time just doesnt fly that fast.. time flies too fast.. and i hate growing up.. i never like it.. growing up needs so much patience and strongness.. having my heart broken so many times by so mny people, i really dont wanna grow up.. coz i noe.. in this life.. being a teenager and growing up is not easy.. and when i am an adult.. life will be more challenging and more difficult.. sometimes i think to myself, when is this all going top end? when will i actually grow up and will be mature anough to think of what is right and what is wrong and be able to make the right move.. coz all this while i realised i've taken the wrong step all along.. i was so in a rush that i didnt think the feeling of others, only mine.. sometimes i think to myself.. is it worh it for me to change myself.. just to please people.. but not myself? i try so hard to make people like me.. love me.. accept me for who i am.. but still they show no reaction.. and worse, i feel bad about myself.. sometimes i just feel like giving up, dont wanna live anymore.. but God doesnt want me to give up.. somehow i find the will and courage to stand up again and to continue with this life.. altho inside im hurting so much that my heart could really stop functioning.. i just dont know.. i might seem happy outside but im not inside.. i wonder if i could ever turn back time.. just once.. if i could, i'll turn back time to when i was just borned.. then i could see the world in another way.. coz i noe i made a mistake.. i looked at the world in a different way.. in the wrong way.. somehow rather i wish we wouldnt grow up.. i still remember those days when i was very young.. going to school.. kindergarten.. holding my fren's hand.. tho he was a guy.. but we were small and it didnt matter.. we loved each other as frens.. and when we were in england.. sis loved me so much.. i mean, she showed her love for me.. held my hand.. and when i accidentally pushed her down, she sad its ok.. when i started standard 1.. made new frens.. no such thing as.. 'she's a bitch' or watever.. and also.. starting tuitions for the first time.. fun.. and going australia with my family.. having fun there.. barbecueing.. laughing, sleeping, eating without counting calories.. i or rather we didnt worry about a thing.. we just lived our lives the way we want it to be.. but now we've change so much.. we used to bathe together.. change clothes in the same room.. but now we cant.. its not like we cant.. we can if we want to.. but we dont want to.. coz the feeling of shyness is there.. i consider myself lucky not having any ex but just being hurt by people whom i like.. there are other poeple whom have been hurt by those they trust and love most.. and i begin to realise that its in this part of life where you think of yourself as a useless person, wanna die.. and when all your frens back stab you.. and u prefer to be alone.. i've gone thru that and many frens has back stab me.. i still am not sure of who i can and cant trust.. who i can and cant count on when i am feeling down.. and who i can turn to for comfort.. i really do hope there's a turning point of my life.. a turning point which makes my life easier and better.. but i do realise that in this life without challenges and pain there will be no fun.. somehow i prefer my life to be controlled by me.. where i can do anything i want.. and for people to not complain about me.. and i can stand up for myself without getting scolded by my damn bloody teachers.. i hate them.. its like i dont hvae a personal life with them around noeing what i write online.. i do have a personal life k.. i just dont know.. i used to love school but not now.. and i think i will never.. whenever i think of school the hatred feeling is there.. i just dont know why.. i feel like going to bm and living with jae mie.. tat way i feel better coz i can talk to jae mie.. she kinda understands me.. she seems rather happy to go to school.. i just dont get it.. why do people think im good? im not good.. im just a normal person.. not even close to perfect.. just treat me like a normal human.. dont need to compare me with other people.. i think i seriously dont get the meaning of 'ups and downs of life' .. i dont know what to think anymore.. guess i'll talk to someone tonite to let go of everything.. some things cant be described in words..

bangkok

hello! i just got back from bangkok yesterday! hehe.. nice trip.. the flight there was not nice.. ish~ so rocky.. lots of turbulances.. was delayed for 1 hour.. wasnt in the mood in the plane coz i had headache.. didnt sleep the nite b4.. hmm.. oh yea.. the taxi who took us there.. was great! left house at 5am SHARP and reached KLIA at 6.10am.. not bad huh.. hehe.. reached bangkok, wen to hotel straight.. nice hotel.. then went shopping.. ntg much wan their shopping.. all sama wan..not my taste.. even if my taste also i cannot wear.. ahha.. no size.. cannot try sumore.. ish.. after tat evening i went swimming.. damn.. the water so cold.. haha~ then at night.. we went sumwhere near.. wnet shopping again.. but 9pm close d.. coz malaysia is 1 hour ahead of them mar.. so its 10pm malaysia time lar.. they close d.. ish.. then on d way back i bought some crickets/grasshoppers.. nice to eat man.. ahha.. after makan d sleep lo.. second day early morning wake up go makan free breakfast.. hehe.. after tat went shopping again.. non stop we jalan.. then tired then we went back to our room.. rest.. sleep.. then abt 4 pm [forgot malaysia or bangkok time] we went shoppin again at a shoppin centre.. took taxi.. shop shop shop d.. come back lor.. tired.. sleep.. third day.. wake up so damn early.. can die ar.. eat breakfast then 7.50am we went for tour.. temple tour.. nice tour.. the best ever.. theam hin kor kor pray at every temple.. sam say for his mum.. i felt so touched.. tears nearly came down but i tahan only.. anyway, went to 3 great temples.. after tat we went ot a gem factory.. tehn took a van to the weekend market a.k.a chaktuchak [or smtg like dat] market.. didnt spend much time there.. very crowded and big.. too many people.. so, we came home then rest.. then go out.. again.. shoppin.. hehe..oh yea.. forgot to mention.. it was the democracy day for thailand for today or mayb i'll say.. 10th december.. for dinner, we ate by the roadside.. ate seafood.. yum yum.. seafood really cheap.. then after dinner, shoppin again.. then on d way back dad bought sum worms.. hehe.. ate those too.. yummy! hehe.. then last day leh.. i didnt go for breakfast.. nly all the adults went.. we slept till abt 12 noon bangkok time.. hmm.. lay around.. then mandi.. at 1.50pm bangkok time our van came.. time to go airport! at the airport.. we wanted to check in btu counter not yet open.. so we wait lor.. at the counter there.. then suddenly one cute thai fella came.. aks for our tickets.. then he say ok.. and he wnet back.. then he came back another time.. he say our flight overbooked d.. and wanna transfer us to another flight.. ok lo.. we ask to transfer to sam's flight wan.. and we got it! oh yea.. muz mention.. the thai fella ryte.. working for MAS wan.. so darn cute! got a pic of him but not clear.. =( .. anyway.. the plane was big. huge.. comfortable.. yea.. i hate sayin this but its more comfortable than MAS.. but anyway... the food MAS serve is way better than THAi airways wan.. the journey was a lil rocky.. not tat bad.. we touched down at abt... dunno wat time.. haha~ reach d buy chocolates.. ehhe.. until rm150! but we helped theam hin kor kor pay for one bottle fo wine and the bill came to rm204.. and so happen they had a promotion.. buy more tahn rm180 and can buy a cute bear with only rm10.. dad bought for me.. =D .. hehe the taxi man came at 8 smtg.. left the airport at 9pm ahrp.. reached home at 10.40pm.. come bac d sleep.. ehehe.. had bad reams last nite.. =X .. anyway, im writing my blog kinda briefly coz no time ler.. tmr goin kl at 8am.. not yet pack bag.. hehe.. k la.. blog nex day.. tata! p/s: the thai guys are cute! thai girls are pretty! no fat people in thailand also.. and also when we went there.. we took the MAS airbus 330 or 300 [i dunno].. came back on THAI boeing 777.. more pics at http://pissedloser.multiply.com

disaster struck!

just got back frm singapore yesterday.. tired.. anyway.. went swimming just now and to my disbelieve, there were two new students today,, one is a boy and one is a girl.. the guy is good.. he was beside me.. kinda cute.. look a bit like someone i noe.. haha.. and the girl is cristal tan pek lynn.. disaster huh? yea... bloody.. tat practically just spoiled my mood.. she was like.. 'eh elynn!' balh.. i just went uinderwater. and her mum was.. 'elynn eh?' and again, i just ignored.. just turned the other way to take the board for an wei.. so, we were at the deep end and scristal was abt to enter the water adnd she was like.. 'deep a not?' in a tone which is soooo irritating.. ish~ i ignored.. lucky my sir cover up.. haha.. he answered tat question.. and one more.. her mum must just be there.. with another girl's mum.. ish~ too free man they all.. i feel so kekok with them around.. talk so much sumore.. -.-" .. thank god tomorrow she's not coming.. *PHEWWWWWWWWWWW* anyway, thye wei jus told me today that his mum doesnt let him talk ro sms girls.. haih~ pity him.. i mean, we are teenagers and we do mix around.. mayb his mum doesnt want him to have a gf right now.. but even talking or sms-ing to girls is wrong? *shakes head* and i dont noe why.. just now i ate so much.. im usually not like that.. i ate mcD fillet o fish burger set and also later i ate bak kut teh soup with all the meatballs and mushroom.. =/ .. wonder why i ate so much.. as i noe im not an emotional eater type of person.. still angry and sad anyway.. after eating, i slept.. haha~ just woke up.. rushed with sis for the computer.. -.-" i dreamt just now.. had bad dreams.. had twi dreams actually.. coz mum woke me up at about 10pm and asked me smtg.. then i slept again and had another dream.. my first dream was abt me, first in the swimming pool.. then daniel bego jumped in! wohoo! haha.. and i was like 'daniel bego right?' and he answered 'ya.. how do u noe me?' amd the conversation went on.. then after tat i dont noe how me were someone with a lot of people.. daniel bego was beside me.. oh yea! was at a camp or something.. daniel wasnt in the camp but i was.. and the participants of the camp had to do a survey or something.. so, i didnt do it.. coz i donno why.. ahha.. and then i practically got scolding.. and i scolded them back.. and i guess i had my points when i told them off.. haha.. so, i just did the damn survey and finished it.. and ckscheng kim was there too.. he was scolding all those bad stuff.. and was scolding me~ obviously! haha.. i just ignored.. then the dream went on and i did the survey but i didnt finished it.. i was telling them.. 'u dont expect me to do the last part.. i did the first part already.. better than nothing~' and i think my dream ended there.. hehe second dream was a lil violent. abt shooting and stuff... like in the shows.. men in black come and shoot here and shoot there.. sigH~ haha.. i escaped anyway.. tats all ler.. ntg much abt my second dream.. anyway, kinda tired right now.. got lots of things to write sumore.. but kinda lazy.. just now i wanted to talk to someone and i tried calling a few people but no one answered~ guess im just irritating! =/ anyway.. gotta sleep! tata!

hey there..

sory abt the last post.. wasnt in the mood that day.. anyway, kinda bored now so i'll blog! haha.. and i juz read the comment given to my last post.. and thanks alot! i'll try it out.. and also the comments for a few more of my posts.. thnx! hehe.. i actually didnt thought that anyone would read my blog.. but since there are some people.. i think i'd better write something useful here.. and also improve my way of writing.. and not to write nonsense.. haha.. and anyway, thanks for dropping by and leaving ur comments ! so, yesterday i used my dad's laptop again.. coz sis has spm biology paper today.. so i couldnt use the computer and i took dad's laptop and used it in my room.. wanted to blog here yesterday but i had difficulties doing it.. so, i wrote what i felt in my hi5 journal.. yesterday i received some bad news.. my guy buddy.. whom i can consider my best online buddy [well, used to be at least, dunno abt now] he has a gf! well, good for him.. haha.. happy for him.. but i felt kinda sad too.. wonder why.. i dun think i like him tho.. mayb i treat him more like a big bro.. nvm.. im kinda over it already.. happy for him anyway.. so, i had swimming lessons yesterday.. thye wei asked me if i have a bf! haha.. surprisingly he asked out of the blue! haha.. didnt see that coming.. haha.. yea.. he asked me and i said the truth! no~ haha.. he didnt believe it anyway.. kept asking me.. he's cute lah in a way.. i mean when he's in the pool.. he's kinda cute.. haha.. but when he's not in the pool he wears glasses and he told me his power very high.. he looks kinda old with those glasses.. oh well, still my fren no matter he' handsome or ugly.. and also his bro.. an wei.. very cute and funny.. never fails to make us laugh.. haha~ i juz had a big quarrel with terrence.. he spread rumours abt me and someone.. and i made him own up! yea! he admit tat he started iit and its not true at all.. haha~ bingo!~ and as u noe, its girl's nature to worry abt every single thing in the world.. whether its big or small.. right? and he's blaming me now coz he said i actually drag this thing till so big.. and so? now its my fault? argh~! im never gonna forgive him.. haha.. but i wont whack him.. it'll juz be in my heart.. ok, i had to ct the story short coz im kinda tired right now.. hehe.. blog later.. tata!

computer spoil

yea.. as it says.. my computer spoil d.. anyway.. i read a few of the comments given and dun worry.. i'll change my background as soon as i get my computer back.. so, kinda bored these days.. nothing to do.. sorry.. but i dont have the mood to blog right now.. kinda heart broken.. my fren juz gave me a cold shoulder.. blog later..

hiM... Him.. hIm...

sigh.. start to think abt him.. cg said she noes him.. says he's player.. i mean.. good in sports.. and cg say the other fella maths very good.. sigh.. gonna miss them soooooooooooooooooo much.. ahha.. p/s: im hungry!

rainy days

these few days keep raining only.. =( .. but lucky lucky me today only rain a while~! so i went jogging lor.. haha.. feel so refreshed! hehe.. so, kinda sien these days.. nothing to do.. everyday eat sleep eat sleep.. tho havin trouble falling asleep.. ahha.. but i managed to live with it.. have not been studying.. promised to study but till now not eyt study.. tat day got take out science book, but open first page only terus i go tido d.. haha.. mayb i TRY tmr o smtg.. haih.. juz now after jogging changed my bedsheet... was easy but i took a long time to do it coz i was playin computer in between.. hehe.. nowadays also no nice shows on tv d.. in cinemas a lot la.. but no one wanna teman me.. all dowanna og with me.. either go n see hp gof again or pontianak harum sundal malam 2.. wonder why lah they never show emily rose in melaka.. i also wanna see! haha.. but after see sure cannot sleep wan.. so, sis havin spm paper tmr.. bet she wanna sleep d.. haha.. tata!

sleepless nites

so, hey.. wazzap..? cant remember when was the last time i updated my blog.. haha.. holidays started d.. yahoo? or boo? well, it BOO for me.. coz i hate holidays.. i prefer schooling days.. i made a promise to myslef before the school holidays started.. i was gonna exercise and go on a diet during school holidays. and alos study for mypmr nex year.. but nothing is going on as planned.. sigh... i just dont have the 'mood'.. haha~ mayb i'll try.. try only! cannot guarantee.. but i still go for mr chin's tuition every sunday till this end of the month.. and i'll consider it ok lah.. since i got do some reading and studying every week.. for only 2 hours.. haha.. nah~ mayb i SHUD get my lazy bum ass kicking er.. tomorrow? haha.. i'll TRY!!! hmm.. nothing much to write.. only tat im confused these days.. confused abt what i shud do..and who i like.. mayb im juz not ready for a relationship eh? yea.. guess so.. cant sleep latst few nites.. been doing a LOT of thinking.. and the more i think, the more i hate myself.. sigh~ i dunno lah.. mayb i juz need sumone to talk to.. kim's havin spm.. so cant disturb him and he's like the only person i can and dare to talk abt everything to.. well, for those who ARE reaidn this, and kim, if u're readin this, i juz wanna say.. i treat u more than a fren.. more like a bro.. and i think u make a very good bro.. *winks*.. haha~ guess i'll stop here ey? got a lot of blogs to update.. haha.. till then..

my dreamm

helo! long time since i blog.. kinda lazy these days to blog.. hav to type.. haha~ hmm.. anyway, today very boring.... woke up at 12.30 pm like dat.. then i use computer... download music videos.. mostly also jolin tsai videos.. but then b4 tat i saw tong hua video clip.. so sad~ wanna cry man see.. then in the video gunag liang so caring.. with someone was like dat.. hehe.. so, neway, after tat, i mandi, makan, sleep until 5 then wake up, go jogging and cycling.. then mandi, and here i am now!~ haha oh yeaaaaa wanna tell u guys.. when i slept just now ryte.. i had a dreamm.. very nice dream, cool dream.. seemed so real! the dream was about me of coz and tht *someone* was my bf.. well, kinda weird lah, coz tat *someone* is actually a guy whom i noe.. but i dont tok to him wan.. and he's sooooooooo old d, and he's my fren's bf.. and also i am not interested in him neway.. so, i dreamt he was my bf.. and we had a fren.. 3 of us were going to US on a trip.. hehe.. and i actually introduced him to my mum and sis!<-- at the airport before we check in.. didnt intro him to my dad coz my dad was checking in as the pilot who will bring us to US (weird!).. haha~! when i intor him to my mum as my bf, my mum was like.. really? haha.. and my sis took him a side and talked to him for a little while.. after tat, we check in d.. then on the plane we didnt get to sit together.. after tat, .... *i dunno wat happened coz i woke up d*... HAha! but weird sial tat dream.. very real like dat.. i wish it was true only tat the guy was someone else.. hehe.. so, gtg d.. wanna go makan ikan bakar d.. hehe.. tata!

malaslerrr

sigh~ sori.. forgot to blog abt my trip tat day. forget abt it lah, malas wanna write abt it.. haha.. so, its kinda bored for the past few days.. lets see... had leo gathering.. which was kinda fun.. and leo installation.. formal wear~ =X .. ahah.. it was kinda fun neway, met a lot handsome sfi guys there.. muahahaha.. not gonna say who~! bluek~! everyone 's working.. i wanna work also~! stupid sis.. can work btu dowanna work.. dumb dumb.. kakakaa.. so bad.. sigh~ so broing lah~ this morning wake up early wanan go pmake passport.. but tak jadi coz a lot ppl.. then after tat go tesco.. wanna make ginger bread man.. but mum dun let.. so bought instant muffin... no fun wan~! bluek~! haha.. klah, ntg to write d wor... update another time k.. happy deeparaya and take care~ tata~! btw: this was what i wore for the leo installation.. ahha :

long time..

its been a long time since i posted a blog. sigh~ just got bck frm the kelanatan terengganu sch trip.. was very fun~! and im really tired now.. sigh~ anyway, it was super duper fun~! i'll blog again trm k~ gotta get some rest now~!

sad sad

so, u noe what happened last nite eh? yea.. after tat i cried.. but not eveyrhtiung came out.. i dunno why.. mayb i didnt hav anymore tears coz i cried on saturday afternoon too.. then i miss called raymond.. tak sangak he call me back.. i also angkat lah the call.. then he talk nonsense.. dunno wat.. suddenly my fon cut the whole conversation.. argh~! so, i buat tak tahu ni lah~ when i on my hp back, i send a good nite message to raymond.. then tetiba he call back~ aiks? ahha.. pick up lor.. then dunno wat nonsense.. haih~ then cheng kim talked to me.. (adrian, cheng kim, raymond at someone's house.. wanna study konon.. today they ponteng sch) .. then cheng kim asked me what happened.. but i didnt tell.. i dunno why but i dont wanna tell people abt this.. he kept pestering me.. ahha.. but still, i didnt tell.. after 15 minutes talking to them, then we finally said goodnite and slept.. haha.. of coz, b4 i slept, i cried.. i cant help it.. but i still dont understand why mus he do this to me.. so, i woke up abt 10 something just now and i just couldnt believe that i cried over someone who doesnt even care about me.. someone who htaes me sooo much tat he doesnt even wanna look or talk to me.. what more like me.. =( sigh.. guess life's really like tat..

heartbroken~

sigh~ tomoro holiday.. was so happy just now.. but then something just spoiled my mood.. i online in frenster.. then ryte.. u neo ryte can view who has seen ur profile.. i was ooo glad when i saw 'him' on tat list.. but after tht, when i viewed my own profile.. he wasnt there wor.. then i found him and then i reallised he deleted me frm his list.. aww... how come? i like him sooo much.. and he's doing this to me.. mayb he noes i like him.. tsk tsk.. sobsssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spoil my mood la.. i just wanna noe why he did that.. i just dont noe why.. he hates me i gues... but why? he doesnt even look at me or talk to me.. but why? please lah tell me.. im so heartbroken now. and ive got no one to spill it out to.. =(

quote

found these interesting.. : " a reasonable man will mkae himself suit this world, but an unreasonable man will make the world suit him.. and tat's why we are all lead by unreasonable men.." " if 'A' equals success, then the formula for 'A' = X+Y+Z... X is work, Y is play, and Z is keep your mouth shut.. " - albert einstein " great discoveries and improvement, invariably involve teh cocoperation of many minds " - alexander graham bell

for my friendster

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suddenly..

Video code provided by Music Video Codes ok.. so suddenly i was angry with everything.. just all of the sudden.. how to start.. hmm.. hokay.. let me see.. SOME people might think that i ungkitkan peristiwa lama.. but i cant hold it anymore.. im too angry.. and i dont have anyone to let it go at.. so, let me write this here and i MIGHT forget abt it later... lets start.. in school, that time pandu puteri farewell party, each and every one of my committee members and also the patrol leaders and assistants paid rm8 for wat? to eat mee and beehun goreng + water + one kuih + water.. like.. huh? .. then.. its not like u wanna explain why we paid rm8.. so after tat pn elaine explained to me tat we dont have enough money.. nvm.. its ok.. but like duh~! can u please ask us our opinion first before doing the farewell? it was during the test week k~ and then i noe lah the seniors also got test.. because of my seniors we had to march for hari koku which was about one or two weeks before that`! we were not supposed to march~! its our senior's job.. anyway, wateva lah~! so, cant u just ask us of our opinion about what we wanna eat and when we wanna do it.. so we can sebulat suara..~ but u didnt do it.. sigh~ sad.. anyway, sambung.. and then u said that we were given an early notice so we did have time to prepare for our tests.. but the thing is.. dont you think about us? we had to stayback eveyrday (well, not exactly we, i didnt, coz had squash training) .. so, my committees had to stayback and march, till so tired and plus the amount of homework we have, do you think we have time to study? NO~! we dont~! and we said we dont wanna pay, u made noise, and also when a few of us don wanna stayback, u say MUST stayback.. huh? coz u said u ordered our food d.. so, then tht morning i told u tht a few of the girls didnt wanna stayback, but all paid, then u asked me rudely.. 'why didnt tell me early early? i ordered their food d..' u sounded angry, u were i guess.. then i couldnt stand it anymore, i went to my sis's class shouted there, told my sis if i die early, i'll haunt the girl till she 'kek' and die~! i cried.. it was test time ok.. was having a heavy paper after tat.. neway, my sis went to tell pn elaine and pn elaine called me and asked me.. so, i told the whole truth, and she said she didnt noe tat it was tat serious and she did not hav ay perbincangan.. so wateva~ the party was going to be tht afternoon itself, just let it be over.. so, the party time came, and i helped around carrying the chairs and stuff.. ajak my out going seniors to makan.. i sat there with my sis and gang.. i refused to eat~! i was soooooo thirsty but i didnt even took a sip of water frm there.. i dont care.. im not going to eat... ggrr.. oh yea, as i mentioned earlier, there were only the cheap cheap food lah.. nvm lo.. but all together it came to about rm200+..~! see lah, dowanna bincang sumore, if bincang, i could have got a cheaper price frm my dad's fren.. another story, prefect's camp.. i got into trouble for this.. ahha.. who cares.. i posted on frenster abt the prefect camp,.. and some mulut becok went to tell teacher.. principal.. sigh~ but too bad, i dont care~ ahahhaha.. so, i donno who is the mulut becok, but then she went to tell teacher.. or mayb teacher saw it herself? anyway, the camp sucked~! im telling the truth~! they treated us like we had no dignity~ ggrr.. ~~ so, then my discipline teacher asked me why i did tat, i told the truth, and she said i shouldnt do tat, coz its in the public.. and she said i should have voiced out when miss johnson asked us abt the camp on the last day.. but u noe wat? miss johnson didnt even ask us what we think abt the camp.. she only asked us wat we learnt frm the camp.. so, sambung,, miss tan talked to me before i went to NEIC.. and i thought ..'ok, lets forget abt it..' but NO~! she asked my sis abt it.. my sis says she doesnt neo and my sis asked me abt it.. i told loe.. and then my sis say.. 'its ur blog wat, its like ur own diary..' duh~ quite true.. ahha.. so, now i hope eveyrhting is forgotten abt tat camp.. coz it sucks too much.. then, tat time er.. oh yea, raptai hari koku.. tat morning we prefects and probates were supposed to help to keep the girls quiet.. but as u noe, its impossible.. miss tan had to help, but to no avail.. akkaa.. the, after recess, my senior had a meeting with us.. she scolded us wor.. she say we didnt do out duty.. hey, the fact is, we DID our duty, its just tat its impossible to be able to keep the girls absolutely quiet.. esp in the tapak when it was all wet and they couldnt sit down coz it rianed the nite b4 tat.. then she told us.. ' I want you all to make the girls quiet tomoro.. miss tan is veyr angry.. she wants us to make the girls very very quiet tomoro.. and make sure she doesnt come and help..' meaning she is saying tat we didnt do our duty well tat morning.. wateva~.. ok.. i understand.... but u see? its by nature tat girls love to talk.. they will talk no matter what.. unless something interesting is happneing.. if u r the prefecta nd i am talking and u come and ask me to keep quiet .. ok, i will.. but once u step away a few metres, i'll talk again, right? kekeke.. mayb it was right for her to meet with us and tell us tat, but cant she say it in a less rude way? i told my sis abt it and my sis said.. she shud have told us like this ..' girls, i noe its hard to make the girls keep quiet, but try ur best ok?' .. doesnt tat sound better? my sis has a point there.. ahha..so, i just walked away pissed lah.. and thsi morning.. had exams..a nd i havent studied lah.. today was penulisan, moral and science 2.. so, i was reading my book when suddenly my senior came then i look at here while hafal'ing something.. then tak pasal pasal she jeling at me.. lucky i never smile, if not i'll b labelled as insane.. or i'll b scolded at the nex meeting coz we are not supposed to smile during duty.. sigh~ so, she jeling at me.. damn tajam sia the jelingan... ggrr.. i still dunno wat was tat for.. ok, so mayb i DID hurt ur feelings.. but u hurt mine more~!!! so, ur dad is a teacher in our school, does it make u so big? yea.. BIG as in MEMBESARKAN DIRI.. merendahkan orang lain.. i hate people who do tat u noe.. im just being patient.. wanna noe smtg? my principal asked my dad to come to my school, but he refused.. means, if my dad comes, i'll be able to make myself BIG? NO WAY~! im not tat kinda person.. neway, told my sis and she said i shud letak jawatan.. woohhooo~~~~ cant wait to do tat., but first, need to think.. ahhaha.. okok, tmr test, keke.. gotta study lah~ before tat, i still think tat i have the right to do what i want and u dont hav the right to stop me~!! muahaha.. evil eh? kakaka.. jkjk.. wish me luck.. feel so great now tat eveyrhting's out.. hahaa.. so, tata.. ~!

merdeka~!

yay~! today is merdeka~! muahaha.. MALAYSIA is officially 34 years older than me.. bravo bravo~! *clap clap*.. this morning went for marching.. can die wor.. wait until so long for tht thing to start.. while waiting i went to talk to Damian coz he say sis took his log book.. and i understand tht the log book very important for his king scouts.. keke.. and when i talk to him i ahv to look up.. coz he too tall~! i noe i noe.. im doraemon.. fat and short..~ oh wait`! im veyr fat and short.. haha.. so i wnet there and tell him tat day i called his hse and then asked julian to pass msg to him.. ok lor.. the his fren all wanna snap picture.. ggrr... geram i.. but before tht he also wanted to snap my picture frm far.. im doraemon lah dear.. dunit snap..~! haha.. oh oh~! and when i go and talk to damian.. sau wai was there..~! haha.. just got to noe frm damian tht sau wai is the troop leader.. woohhoo~! bravo bravo~! muahahaha.. then after tat i go back to our gathering place there d damian come tell me tht after march finish d at kubu stadium go and see him.. he wanna pass to me smtg... other than those people, i saw eugene cheong pek wan.. miss him so much.. but he buat DERK only when i called him,.. saw farhanah, afdhaliah.. miss them so much also.. ekkeek.. and also saw er.. kok yong.. leng chai.. haha.. not mine tho.. he got gf d.. haha.. koh hong rui, he look so so so so different in real life.. didnt see lgc, scp and tks tho.. nvm..herm.. then let me see.. saw other guides frm ijc and ndc.. and also the sfi scouts.. wah.. so SAT and handsome.. muahahaha.... after march d, sweat like just mandi only.. hand and legs pain.. i go find damian.. he passed to me smtg.. cnt tell wat is it.. ahha.. ntg important lah.. then talk to him a while .. then i go back school d lor.. dunno when is d nex time get to see him.. haih~ but eveyrtime he see me also scold me wan.. ggrrr... oh oh~! then b4 this.. er.. tat day.. dunno wat day.. hong rui told me smtg.. he say tks now got disiplin problem.. aww... kesian..a nd he say.. memang lah tks top boi and very good.. but since now he miz with wrong group d.. the whole group also got disiplin prob, looks like until form4 also tks and gang will not get any post.. sobs.. kesian.. oh yea., my KGT just finish~! muahahahahaa... after all this hard work.. finally tmr can bind and pass up.. kekeke.. and then tat day when come back fmr kl.. i aks guan han to see i fat d not.. he say fat d.. aww.w.. he say my face got a bit bigger.. he say last time he see me i slim.. but he never say abt now.. btu i understand tht silence.. ahha.. i aks yen yi also.. yen yi say yealor.. my face a bit big d... WWWAAAAAAA>>>>>>////....~!!! haha.. nvm .. can thin again wan.. kakaka... final year exams are near... 26 september.. 26 more days.. better start pia now.. haha.. must beat some people~! muahahahahahaa...hokay.. guess i wont blog till then lor.. haha... bye~!

ntg to type

dengan bangganya, i now announce that ELYNN SUAH EE HUEI has been putting on weight.. and she doesnt even care about it.. she just keeps on eating eating and eating.. hahaa.. yeap.. haih~~~ me.. thats me.. kekeke.. so, im kinda tired lah now.. just got back frm friendship trail this afternoon.. then came back d, i wanna go buang air besar, but the shop workers at here fixing air con.. haih~~.. and i tell u smtg.. i felt so bad.. coz coz coz.. one fo the workers.. i nv see b4 wan.. he had to climb up to the roof.. not really roof lah.. the er.. atiic izzit? the haiyah.. ceiling up there got one lubang lah.. he had to climb up there in the dark coz i broiught the torchlight to friendship trail.. and worse of all.. i didnt even use the torchlight.. aww.. haih~~ and and. i dunoo.. i feel so bad.. coz his clothes were all dirty.. haih~~ kesian lah...sory kor~! haha.. i dunno his name.. i'll call him kor kor k.. SORRY KOR KOR~!! .. back to d main point.. after they fix air con, on d air con and i slept all thru till just now .. abt 8pm.. haha.. dad, mum nd sis was out.. so i was all alone! haha.. yay~!!!! kekekeke.. then after that, i on computer.. online... and then only mandi at 10pm.. haha.. then makan, and then now online again lor.. haha.... nice day huh.. hehe.. yea ryte.. hw all nto yet finish.. and tmr morning.. awal awal already i'll b goin kl.. sad sad,, neway.. friendship trail was fun~! haha.. met so many new frens.. malas wanna mention neway.. kakakaka.. so, i think i'll stop here... unless i have something to tambah.. i'll tambah later.. haha.. bb... cheers... btw, the melaka players in sabah now.. wish them good luck in their game.. lks.. luv ya.. muax muax.. play well~!!

duh duh duh

hokay.. im typing this for the second time, first time in my space.. well, some people say i very lebey.. really? i guess so.. not really lebey lah.. i just kinda over reacted.. so what ryte? i was so angry at tht time.. wat u expect me to do? sit down and say.. its ok.. i forgive u.. ? i noe some people can do that but i cant.. haha.. too bad.. well, neway, i think im very bad.. im a bad gir.. and for that, i will change, change for the better~! yay~! gambatte elynn~! go go go go~! u can do it~! yeah~!!!!!!!!!! luv u.. muaxx... btw, my fren told me he kena accident.. ouch~! kesian.. haih~! how come? kena accident d, almost kena beat up and then the gangster whom banged him ask him to pay money lagi.. stupid people~! newayz, hope he's alrite k.. mnuax muax...

i hate u people~!

i cried ytd nite.. very hard.. coz no one wanna choi me.. i really needed someone but no one answered my call.. i was invisible to themm.. eveyr single one of them.. why must you do this to me? GOD hates me.. he hates me so much.. i noe.. but why must he do this to me? i mean.. if u wan me to suffer, give me a disease or sumthing, dont torture me like dis.. please, i beg u~!

evil elynn..

i am irritating huh? yea.. must be... everyone hates me.. hhmm.. i am so irritating.. u agree? if u agree, just post a comment saying 'elynn suah ee huei is a very irritating girl' .. i expect a lot of comments.. i hate myself so much.. why am i like that huh? i cant control myself..mayb im a bitch.. yea.. i think i am one.. hate to admitit.. but everyone calls me hiaw poh.. means miang mia perempuan.. im not sure if i am.. but im not tat good newayz.. anyway, camp postponed to dunno when.. back to tht just now topic.. a lot of teachers in school dont like me.. haha.. i noe.. they no need pretend.. they hate me a lot.. they all LOVE cristal sooo much.. hate me.. yea.. i noe.. even the blind people can see that.. i just dont think its fair.. why must they be like dat? im not trying to say they MUST love me, but cant they just treat everyone the same? i need some hak pelajar here~! hello?? haha.. anyway, they hate me, i hate them.. no prob.. from now on, how i treat u is how u treat me.. so just watch out.. evil elynn is out~! muahahaha.. but at d same time, evil elynn also tengah berusaha wanna do sumthing.. *winks* kekeke.. cant tell wat it is.. kekekekeke.. yea, watch out for me~! im just gonna be what i think is rite.. but i noe its actually wrong.. but i love doing it and i'll do it.. people like cristal tan better watch out..~! i'll get u~! muahahahahhaha... watch OUT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im was here.. i will be here i will always be here..to take revenge~ mayb its true.. evil wins.. gagaga.. kkekeke.. watch out peeps~!

sad..

hie hie.. hhm.. sunday 8.47pm it is now and im so sien .. haha.. it rained lah just now.. so sleep lah.. so syok.. ahhahaha.. i hink my homework not yet finish.. wait.. i cant even remember if i have homework.. haha.. nah,... who cares.. neway.. hhm.. i gain weight.,. i think.. but hell, who cvares~! haha.. i'll be busy for the nex few weeks i think.. kekeke.. so, this morning, went tuition as usual.. and as usual... tan seng chuan and company talk dirty.. but dunno wat got into him this morning and he talked TOO much.. even sir said so.. and he was talking in english... his english quite weak and the words he use make me laugh.. haha.. u wouldnt wanna noe wat he talked abt.. but he made me laugh this morning.. eehehe.. then, hhmm.. after tuition ah mai came to fetch me.. and io wnet temple.. to pass to raymond his present i bought for him.. in temple, i wnet toilet then on d way out i met leong kiong.. thanked him for d recket.. and off i was to buy chicken for prayers~ then at popo house, er.. ate as usual lah.. after tat it rained, nvm.. we went to sentral to sne dah mai off then we bought ice cream and pop corn to eat.. yummy~! haha... after tat came home, then online a while, chat to raymond a while, and then i go sleep, then just now bangun then makan then now online lor.. hhermm.. ntg to write d.. oh~ btw, me gonna be away for the nex 2 weeks.. sobs~!!!!!!! gonna misss squash and swimming~~~~~~~~` =( sad..

stress lah~! walawe..

leng chai just called me.. he said i got the neic national camp.. nex week frm 16-19.. and frm 19-20 i got another camp.. how? dad say dun go the prefect camp.. but but but... dunno teacvher let not.. i wont feel comfortable lah.. and.. i dun feel like going neic camp also.. waste my time only.. better i stay here and do more berfaedah things like studying, swim, squash, go school, .. haih~ then when come bakc frm camp straight holiday.. how to catch yup with homework? haih~ just kill me lah someone.. please~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bertaubat case

sigh.. i bertaubat d.. keke.. *innocnet smile* .. yeaps.. me bertaubat d.. yay~~! hhm.. let me see.. wat to write.. oh yea, 性教育 means sex education.. guan han told me wan.. haha.. decided to put it here since its a new word for me.. hhm.. went tuition this morning as usual.. rush rush rush to do last week's work as usual.. ahha.. yea.. i better finish my tuiion homeworks early.. if not have to rush.. can die.. hhm.. ntg much lor.. saw tks and lgc as usual.. sitting ebhind me.. haih~ fell in love with them d~! kekekeekeke.. i think so kua.. u noe lah.. sfi guys.. im attracted to them.. for no reason.. haha.. yea... soooo.. ntg to write d.. and.. i guess tats it lor.. =)

geram again..

argh~! suddenly i geram again coz of yesterday mia hal.. can die~! suddenly so kek sim.. i scared my heart will shrink becoz of kek sim-ness and i will die early.. choi~! me dowan die early sia.. me still wanna balas dendam.. ggrr.. so geram~! just now told mum d whole story.. haha.. can die lah.. almost cried.. but me tahan.. coz tat time in jusco mah.. ehhehe..newayz, forget abt it.. kor kor jake sean dowan play squash with me~! he so teruk~! ggrr.. then he dowan come fetch me go jalan jalan also.. ~! like dat call kor kor wor.. ggrr.. teruk sia.. i supposed to interview beh leh lah.. but.,. but.. malas.. haha.. sleepy d siol.. haih~

baak.. yalah tuh..

hey.. im back again~! haha.. like real.. ok, test just habis just now.. haih~ i think i will fail.. haha.. i slept before i could finish answering.. kekekeke.. nice to sleep ba.. then i never study wor.. how? haha.. kesian me.. anywayz, ytd was a disaster~! u wouldnt wanna neo y.. but it has sumthing to do with pandu puteri.. for the first time i cried in school, shouted in school, becoz of my anger for someone.. weird huh? i normally control it.. but well, just couldnt stand it anymore i guess.. with all d stress.. lets forget abt it.. newayz, i see now everyone bertaubat d.. samantha, cindy, raymond~! haih~ me laos bertaubat a bit d.. promised myself to bertaubat a lot, but tak jadi this week.. oh well.. i promise i will.. nex week~ and i promise to beat cristal.. in EVERYTHING~! that bitch just needs to get it from me.. in one way or another.. u watch out..~! argh~!

great~!

ok ryte.. tmr is test 2 and im online.. great~!!!!!!!!!

him him him

im so sad.. hes so cute bah.. y?

sigh....... bad bad

sigh,... so sad.. last few days online everyday.. no study.. no exercise.. eat a lot.. haih~ got squash competition mah... ost all my games.. haha.. oopppss~! hahaha.. was kinda fun anyway, made new frens frm ijc, sfi guys very stuck up.. dowan tok to me.. haha.. tho sum of them noes me... hehe,, but sad thing was lks lost.. he lost~! oh well, he got 4th in the state.. i think its very good d.. he so gaya when he play.. haih~ haha.. lucky enuf he my fren.. never tok to me only.. haha.. i sempat wish him good luck b4 his game, he heard.. can d.. hehe.. dunno lah.. i like him kua? hehe.. dunno ah.. hehe.. dunno when nex time can c him.. at maksak? hhm.. after this no more squash practice d.. and the good news is hes going sabah~! yay..~! he's so lucky.. hehe.. newayz, yesterday had hari koku in school.. i marched for renjers.. we got 3rd but they never announce.. haih~ pbsm got 4th, kadet polis got 1st, st john got 2nd.. girl's brigade.. or my sis will pronounce as girl's bridge.. haha.. got 5th.. woohoo~! we beat them~! hahahahahahhahahaha..~! newayz, so sad coz today never get to go century see finals.. haih~ hopefully mgss will win~! no~! mgss MUST and SURELY win~! yay~! sfi also kua.. haha.. miss lks.. wow.. haha.. muax muax

now im happy?

im here.. again.. sunday.. went tuition .. fun tho.. haha.. the guys.. seng chuan.. tok damn drity.. haha.. he said.. its SEX EDUCATION.. hahaa.. anyway, after tat came home d rush for squash.. i was late coz got utition mah.. then lks gave some reaction.. but he is cute anyway.. haha.. hope he wont b there hwen i play nex day.. malu karang.. or maybe he go better.. giv me support? haha... anywayz.. me ate a lo bah for lunch.. haha.. sienz lah.. have to do hw after this.. yea.. i semangat a bit d.. mr chin always giv me semangat.. hehee.. so, guess i gotta play a game now and after this i wanna do hw d.. kekeke... bye.. happynyeR aku.. duno y.. hehehe

so after long long time then i chat to damian.. sigh..

before this conversation got a few more words we said.. but i close d wondow d.. haha.. too bad.. WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: fine WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: u miss me o not? BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: miss u BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: haha BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: long time no see got lah WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: hahah BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: heard last week u saw my sis huh WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: got miss me o not? BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: heard last week u saw my sis huh BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: er.. i dunno how to answer WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: ya WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: i saw ur sis WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: i miss u u noe WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: wy i dint c u at 5 BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: no more koku d mah BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: u wan c me izzit BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: haha WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: ya lar WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: i miss u wat WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: u noe who is esperanza? BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: yes BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: y BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: there.. she and me in the pic WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: she quite pretty heh? BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: yes BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: terpikat izzit BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: haha WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: ar WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: tats dw one BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: yes lah.. haha WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: ur fren ar BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: nex day hari koku i take more pics of her lor BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: let u c BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: ee BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: yeap.. BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: good fren WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: i terpikat wit her durin chess competitiom BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: wow BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: then u got tok to her WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: try but. WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: no efforts have been done WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: she noe me WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: we almost talk tat day WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: but her fren FONG WAN came BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: ish BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: FONG WAN BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: haha BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: u got tok to her wan ah WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: try but tak jadi WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: she have da decent look BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: wat abt fong wan BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: haha WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: she ar WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: ok lor BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: ok BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: hahahahahahaha WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: a very very good gal WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: but. WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: not interested BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: damian tay...... BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: fong wan.. BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: i dun likeher at all BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: hahahaha BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: dun tell her k WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: wat u mean by WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: damian tay WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: fong wan WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: wy u dun lik her WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: h me 2 get esperanzA CAN O NOT WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: WAT IS HER EMEL BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: er.. BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: dun tell her i giv u k BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: later she kill me BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: [email protected] WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: thanks WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: hahahah BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: dun tell her k BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: haha' BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: if she kill me.. i haunt u every nite WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: hahah WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: i wont say ur name BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: so u still got rengga tuition eh.. i didnt noe tat BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: but i say eileen suah BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: wei BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: suah BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: suah BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: dowan the suah BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: say another name.. dowan eileen also WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: dun care BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: u veyr teruk BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: nex time dowan help u d WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: sorry lar BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: nvm lah BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: normally after school u terus balik eh WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: ya WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: may be WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: wy? BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: no lar.. BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: tuesday till friday i got squash competition at century BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: tehn can curi curi go mahkota mah.. BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: tot after school u got go mahkota wan.. bt nvm lah BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: i got exam lar BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: i also.. WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: i noe u got squash BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: eh.. how u noe WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: my fren s wat tell me WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: ming han BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: ming han BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: i dunno who BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: mayb he saying abt my sis lah.. not me BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: haha WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: hahah WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: pretty woman WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: walkin down da street WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: wah WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: blog some more WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: can die lar WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: i read until tidur BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: wats tat WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: i gtg WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: bye BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: oo.. BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: ok BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: bye WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: miss u WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: love u BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: take care BENDDJE.. segala rintangan akan kuhadapi, aku dapat melakukannya, aku percaya pada diriku sendiri.. http://esuah.blogspot.com says: study hard WhEn U ArE FiGHting WiTh A TiGeR,ThErE Is No EsCaPe,U HaVe 2 FiGhT ThEM oF... says: ya

angry angry angry...

im so angry with myself lah.. i dunno y.. this morning got squash lor.. then got the draws.. me playin with caryn khaw frm ijc.. then team event playin with ijc first team.. can die~! then sir ask to play match lor.. i play with nadzatull.. i LOST~! bloody hell.. why lah~! im so angry with myseelf~! anyway, scompetition coming up..i need to hav faith in myself.. so, good luck to me.. i can do it~! i think..~! I CAN DO IT~! oh btw, lks is sooo cute.. kekekeke..

blog~~~

monday (11/7) Back to another new week. Got new duty today.. 5k1 and 5k2~! gawd~! well, i ended up jaga-ing 5k3 as well. oh well, assembly today as usal, ntg much.. come back by bus, ate a lot, pack bag, mandi, tuition.. after tuition, jog.. then did seni finish.. tak sempat study coz did my 2 weeks seni homework.. hehe tuesday (12/7) haih~ tired lah~! had ot stayback in school to help do pandu puteri test- with the ones who didnt pass tanda tanda mengesan and larian pengakap. i conducted the larian pengakap witth only one person taking the ujian- natasha ernie. had to do together with her- run and walk with her. so i ended up sweating like hell. then after tat, i forgot to tell the 3b girls tat the etsts start at 2.30 so after WLS went back, i had ot do all over again the test. ran all over the place to find ranting and batu.. after things were over, (thank god~!) then i got to rest d.. Read the cerpen but couldnt understand the words. so, i agve up. and i started walking to sis tuition there lor. came back, makan, swimming.. now here i am lor... haha.. sleepy, tired.. gonna sleep now.. hehe.. bye~! wednesday (13/7) Stayed back for pandu puteri test. thank god i passed~! but irene failed *sobs* anyway, came back, makan alot,.. then tido pulak. then woke up d, makan dinner and here i am now, angry with myself... i mean, everyone is slimming down~! why not me? oh well... wednesdays dont actually go well for me.. haha.. i'll try to jog tomoro.. anyway, got lotsa homework to do and having prefect meeting tomoro.. better go hafal all the codees now.. till then, adios~!] Thursday (14/7) heylo~! haha.. ntg much happened today.. as usual, busy in school with pandu puteri stuffs.. Leo meeting was fine. and dunno why im kinda tired these days.. oh well, anyway i have to amrch for renjers puteri on koku day coz not enuf rnejers. sigh.. so i'll be busy marching and stuff like tat again... newayz, gotta go tuition now.. bt, mum boutgh durians and manggis.. syokz~! hahahaha.. =) =P Friday (15/7) very sad day.. dont wanna remember today.. Saturday (16/7) Usual saturdays.. eat a lot.. never go jog.. online whole day,.. mum, dad and sis at grandma hse now. im at home coz i dowanna go back there. very sien. i prefer to stay at home and complete some incomplete stuffz. yea, so me gtg now. haf to complete those incomplete stuffz... adioza~! sunday(17/7) ok.. usual sunday.. go tuition, come back, end, watch CSI till 3 then slept till 6.30. hehe.. usual ler.. no jogging.. well, then watched csi again (repeat lah, didnt see afternoon csi LA). after tat online, chat to raymond.... heard ck got gold for tkd. congrats.. guan han was online after tat, he got gold for sparring. Dunno wat it means but congrats anyway. Then i did some calculation.. looks like im gonna be busy frm tmr till around 8/8. But after tat go camp frm 15/8-18/8. Can die~! haha.. tmr , as usual. tuesday also usual. wednesday plan to play squash at melaka club. thursday, usual. friday, badminton clinic. saturday, usual. sunday, squash training and tuition. tuesday till friday competition. thursday koku day leh.. mayb i'll not be in school. =/ .. after the competition, gotta study for test 2. then only free.. after tat gto camp.. haih. after camp holiday~! haha.. so, guess gonna be busy eh? yea... haha.. well, it seems like its gonna help me slim down~! ahaha~! k, need to do my hw now.. bye! nite! sewwt dreamz~~! btw, cristal bday on 20/7, ray's on 10/8 .. =) Monday (18/7) yea.. went school as usual. cristal boated tat kb got silver, but ck got gold. haha.. too abd then.. so, anyway, er... school, not that stressful today.. very little homework.. er.. told dad wanting to play squash at melaka club on wednesday he said mayb fuly booked.. oh well, might ask him to ask again tomoro when go swimming.. =).. btw, didnt eat my breakfast, lunch ate er.. 2 pieces of biscuit and 1 keping of roti.. then went tuition.. came back, jog, fro dinner drank my er.. nestum.. well, frm wat u c, are those food which i ate today fattening? i think so lor... haih~ better cut down more tmr~! haha.. do wokr now.. till then, sayonara~! Tuesday (19/7) gawd~! rained whole day! but luckily, rained stop at abt 4 pm then i can go swimming~! yay! haha.. got one swimming competition coming up.. sit ask to enter.. haih~ more and more busy now.. anyway, im kinda pissed now. i mean, us marching have to find renjer uni. yea.. so i help qui ling find and my sis is making noise now for helping other people. ok fine~! nex time dun ask help frm me! neways, ck is not replying my message or even miss calling me tat goes the same for some other people. ggr.. so now im more busy.. hopefully i dun hav to march on koku day~! hopefully got squash competition~! me got a lot homework ba.. hav to do it now and study after tat.. btw, tomoro me gonna play suqash~! yay~! chiowz... Wednesday (20/7) er.. its actually thursday d.. but i'll write for yesterday lar.. so, yesterday was a complicating day.. had to stayback for marching... dad got angry.. he said stupid school.. and curse the school and all sorts lah.. but who ask him dowan send me to gbs? hehe... gbs not tat strict wan lar.. anyway, he was saying tat im torturing myself coz i reach home abt 4.45 then i cycle go book squash court for school then sapu kapur on shoe, pack bag then at 6 i got squash.. he said i never get enuf rest.. but guess what.. he ask me go swimming after squash~~! aiks.. say lah im torturing myself.. haha.. i did do it anyway.. squash then swimming,.... tired.. had fun anyway. came home, tot can makan nasi tapi tinggal sayur and a lump of meat. makan only lor.. after tat i makan mangga, manggis, tomato, banana. later, read two chapters of 'the christmas carol' then kong off till this morning. oh yea, cristal sms me and scold me idiot coz i told guan han it wa her bday and guan han wished her. haih~ dunno y im angry with myself.. im jealous perhaps? i dunnoo... thursday (21/7) say lah got raptai.. ish.. got lah actually.. but was in the afternnooon.. can die~! now face all red .. sunburn.. haih~ tomoro got raptai lagi, full uniform again.. anyway, this morning evyr anrgy.. stoopid bloody hell shit~! u noe lah.. yesterday we guides use 3F. Then this morning rain, 3 F all basah.. Damn fucker mr.RM ask us guides to mop the class and wipe the table and throw the rubbish.. claiming it was our fault.. oh yea? i remembered that ALL TEH WINDOWS WERE CLOSED~! ONE OF THE GIRLS ASKED US TO CLOSE THE WINDOWS COZ VEYR SILAU~! ciko~! can die.. so, in the end, we had to do it.. mop, clean, throw.. fucker balls~! not our fault.. all the 3F mia pasal coz mr. RM wasnt angry at all.. he asked the girsl who did it.. BLOODY FUCKER BALLS CIKO KANASAI KANINEH CIBAI LAN CAO`~! i hope all the 3F ppl fail PMR~~! or mayb kena accident and die~! altho we are guides and we help people, but we are not slaves~! die lah u 3F people..~! i'll make sure u fail ur pmr~! i will balas dendam~! anyway, tomoro got marching practice.. frm 12.30-3.30.. but i got badminton clinic frm 2-6. and i got prefect meeting frm 12-1.15. so which shud i go? clinic or marching? i myself not sure... haih.. friday (22/7) bad mood sial today.. can die.. whole day marah only.. all teh work i do.. no other people to give izzit all the work? anyway, had prefect meeting.. ntg much bah.. haih~ now me veyr sad... dunno y eveyrone turning their backs to me.. oh, tachers say got prefect camp frm 19/8-20/8.. means frm 15/8-18/8 i got english camp.. then 19/8-20/8 got prefect camp.. haih~~~~~~ anyway, i dunno y eveyrone dowanna tok to me..ignoring me.. so sad.. all dowan fren me d izzit? dowan dowan lor.. sigh.. looks like i will die alone..

ntg to say...

........ sien lah~! he online just now.. but now he offline d.. never gett to chat to him also..kek sim ba~!! can die oo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ life's like dat ma.. rytE? yea...guess so... just too bad i cant turn back time to where i had great fun.. and everything was perfect~~~

sobs sobs sobs

well, here i am.. elynn suah.. haih~ such a sad day.. u noe ryte who i like.. haih~~ actually i like a lot guys lar.. think wateva u guys wanna think.. but im not a playgal.. im not hiaw also~! its just tat i fall in love easily.. i get attratced to guys easily.. let me see.. if a guy is caring, merendah diri, smart, er.. mature and work out a lot.. i''ll fall for him d. it also helps if he's in pbsm or scouts... u c? tats y i fall for ppl easily.. looks dun matter to me.. but plays a little part only la.. dun la sooo ugly ryte.. haha.. so, lets start.. today at tuition,.. u noe la.. tat tuition all.. haih~ haha.. then tsc asked sir abt whether gotplace not.. rupa rupanya the place for his gf wan.. wife la.. as his frens say.. then,.. got a few handsome ppl la.. they ejek tk or sumthing.. but got sumthing to do with kissing wan.. yer.. jealousnyer aku~! ahhaa.. nah.. mayb we shud just be frens.. but.. its like they are not even my frens~! y?> am i tat bad ah? mayb kua.. all dowan tok to me wor.. haih~ sad case la.. haih haih haih~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ can die ah.. i wanna b frens with they all.. they tau mau.. can die.. kek sim until can die.. sobs..

er.. almost whole week's blog.. haha

since i online less d.. i decided to blog every week~! about d whole week's events.. haha.. alomst whole week la.. hehehehe 4/7/05 (Monday) What a day ~!! Busy in school with all those Pandu Puteri and squash stuff. Came back, went tuition, jog, study (well, more like doing hw~!). The teachers gave soooo much hw today. Oh yea, i manage to catch Kim Poh (school bus uncle) just in time~! ahhahaha... sms-ed a lot ppl farnee messages.. and now, me wanna study~! ahah.. nitezz~~ 5/7/05 (Tuesday) Haha~! Now its 3.55 pm~! Just mani and packed bag. Nothing much in school today.. oh yea, i bodek Pn. Roseline~! haha~! syokz! Anyway, didnt really get enough sleep last nite. Slept at 3 and woke up at 5.45am. Well, in school Melody teased me! She said she was Felix's wife.. make me jealous wor! Then got tok abt Aaron Poh and i started ejek-ing her as well.. =P oh, and i dunno who the hell spread rumours abt me, saying me and andy mau a couple? hahahahahahhahahahahahhaha.. wendy told me tat Terrence was the one who told her. And, surprise surprise! Was it friday or saturday, aaron lee told me tat as well, saying this time andrian mau told him. Ignatius also noe wor...! hahahahha.. laughed my head off when i heard abt it.. me and him? NEVER~! hahahaha.. i mean, its impossible.. oh well, let ppl say wat they wanna say la.. as long as i noe the truth.. and guess what? im starting swimming lessons later!!! YAHOOO!! ok, i'd better go study now b4 going swimming lessons under mr james kuah, samantha's dad. i';ll write later if i hav the time. adios! Now its 10.15 pm... went swiming lessons just now.. feels so good after not swimming for soo extra long. Anyway, mr james is quite good, make me swim a lot~! hehe.. now whole body pain,i guess its normal ryte? yea... for sumone whos not been swimming for so long... just read book.. now resting, a while more wanna study.. babai~! 6/7/05 (Wednesday) Today sux like hell~! Teachers can go to hell as well~! FUCK teachers! hear this, FUCK YOU TEACHERS~!!!! I hate it.. esp my school teachers.. i mean, went to school, went for duty and form 3 had their test so i didnt ask them to line up. and as usual, the chinese girls will only wear their tie when i ask them to line up. well, then suddenly TEACHER (fuck her) came and shouted, ask them to wear theitr tie and scolded me, said im blind.! well, if im blind teacher, i would hvae fucked u earlier~! well, seriously, i hate the rule saying we must wear tie everyday. we look like nerds! gawd, not say my school standard veyr high also lah.. Then later at 7.40 we had to kumpul at the tapak perhimpunan. The FUCKING DAMN BLOODY HELL teachers damn sucking hell scolded us, saying we're USELESS~@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, if we're useless, then u r worse coz teachers r supposed to b d contoh to us students, ryte? yea.. they r a vyer good contoh, ryte.. fuck them. ok well, if we're useless then perhaps they dun need me anymore. If only i could stand up and say.. FUCK U BLOODY DAMN HELL FUCING TEACHERS~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after tat, i had to run up run down the whole school. Sweat like shyt. do so many things, bcoming teacher's slave, yet im scolded uesless. i pay the school to educate me, not to treat me as their slave. Even if im their slave, im not paid.. but i pay to be their slave? weirdo!@_@ Well, i just feel like quitting, bet dad wont write the letter for me... he's not in today anyway.. I WANNA GO GBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hell shyt. i do! forget abt those sad things.... making it difficult for me to study and concentrate.. came home, ate a lot! nasi lemak and a few pieces fo bread.... worse, i slept after tat, never go jogging... haih.. sad case. neway, here i am writing this to release my anger. so tat i can concentrate on my studies atf ter this. bye! 7/7/05 (thursday) gawd~! wat a day! i cant go for gbs campfire~! =( i really trully wanna go !haih! forget abt it la.. im reallt tired today.. dunno why. kinda haizy the weather. went jogging but less one round than usual. got headache la.. i feel the headache when i jog./ painful~! ouch!! haha.. ate dinner. erm.. drank carrot juice and ate a few pieces of bread. and now, im tired.. dunno y im tired these days.. sigh.. nitez

change..

haih~ AGAIN... im so frustrated coz ive not changed... but well, ive made up my mind, starting frm tomoro, i'll change.. for the better~! u seee, now even ck and gh dun online often, sigh.. guess i need to get things worked out just lik before.. slim down, catch up with studies.. healthy living.. haih.. difficult indeed to do it but i will, no matter wat, i WILL do it~! muaxx.. luv ya, see u peeps when i online abt.. mayb every fortnightly or every friday.. muax muax.. tata..

dot dot dot..

oh yeay~! im fat already~! duh.. i tgh pms la.. aiyo.. mood bad.. bad these days.. sigh.. just now in school hari kantin... can die sia.. no enuf food to eat.. then hav to duty for 40 minutes.. and the rest of them get to rehat for 1 hour.. fair? no~! i neo i noe.. but papa dowan send me to gb.. wat can i do wor? sigh,,

...................

got these frm raymond.. ahha.. Thank you so much you did what i couldent you made the tears go away when i thought they wouldent thank you for being my voice when it was shaken by fear thank you for being my eyes when they were blinded by tears thank you for being my friend ill be there for you when everything feels wrong ill do everything i can do A friend is always there when ever you need her A friend will always be there when tears start 2 fall from your eyes. A friend keep you secrets and makes sure you are OK A friend always got your back no matter what you do A friend likes you for who you are and whats in your heart! You said you'd always be there, You said you'd never leave. But now I sit here, alone and crying, As I solomnly greive. I shouldn't of had to say bye, I wasn't ready in any way. But now that I think of it, I never prepared to see this day. You couldn't see a way out from the pain, And decided to choose your own fate. You took my heart down with you, I lost more than my boyfriend, I lost my s soulmate. If only I would have been there! If only I would have known, That you hide your pain so well, And your true feelings were never shown. But now it's too late. I'll never see your shining face again. Just know that I'll always love you, And can't wait to see you in Heaven.

........................................................

sigh.,.. just did my kerja kursus sejarah typing things all finish.. hand so pain, back ache.. eyes pain.. sigh.. i tell u, the kerajaan torturing us.. cna die.. then today just got our kh kk to do.. another problem.. ~!!!! anyway, i ate a lot today, then slept and never go jog.. ~! how can? nvmnvm.. wateva la.. im fat.. tats it.. and and and and.. i dunno. i kinda miissss HIM>> and him.. and him.. and eveyrone.. asp lgc and tks.. sigh.. ahha.. falling in and out of love easily is my problem that is hard to overcome.. sigh.. and and.. nowadays in school a lot of work.. so stressful u noe a not~!okk.. gtg bye

ARGH~!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant think straight now la.. aiyoo.. i also dunno wat to do.. i mean.. like.. i dunno~!!!! yaya... i noe.. everyone's not in the mood to chat.. i mean like EVERYONE~!! and that includes me.. but why? WhY????? i just cant answer it myself.. cannot.. i dunno la.. i mean.. im having probs with everyoe.. EVERYONE~! wats wrong with me? the problem is not with them.. but me~! ME~!! wHy??? gawd.. if im ever gonna figure it out.. it'll take a lifetime.. i mean.. i myself dun understand my true self... what abt others? sometimes i just feel like giving up, commit suicide and tats it.. end of life.. some how i wish i can do it.. but how? i just cant leave my life now.. apart from all the bad things, im also going thru a lot of good things.. wasted to leave it all behind.. dont ya think? ya.. but come to think ofit, i might commit suicide.. if i am really really depressed... seriously depressed.. now im only like.. depressed.. not till tat bad.. but .. OMG~! im really out of words.. nothing to say.. im just like.. dunno.. not bored.. but.. i dunno.. nothings working out the way its supposed to be.. nothing.. nothing at all.. gosh.. how depressing that can b.. alrite.. now im like.. chattin to no one.. was chattin to sumone who was in the mood to talk but i actually pissed off in the conversation and.. now he's offline.. no reply when i msg him.. god.. thats bad.. now im bad.. well, there is this saying that goes.. 'if u r angry, just shut up and walk away..' .. guessss its kinda true.. and i read frm a book.. it goes.. 'sometimes when we're feeling hurt, we take it out on other peopl, just because they happen to be there'.. yeap.. true again.. sigh.. tat shows how much we can learn frm story books eh.. now.. let me see what can i write sumore.. ok so im going for a school trip to kl tomoro... need to wake up early.. and.. travel to kl.. with irritating ppl in the bus.. how i wish i can get rid of them by just saying a sentence or sumthing.. i wish i can.. but nah.. i guess im not tat bad after all.. u see.. another person spoil my mood.. my mood was getting better.. but someone just spoiled it... sad case indeed.. im getting more and more annoyed with myself.. dunno y.. i just feel as if.. im..... a black sheep who doent noe she is black and thinks she is white.. does it makes sense? nope.. dun think so.. now.. eveyrone's having patience.. except me.. the stoopid sheep.. why? dunno y.. its never gona be answered tat question.. guess the one whom i need when im down is also quite not in the mood now.. owh, well.. i think i will not be so selfish anymore.. people need privacy too ryte? yea.. guess so.. guess tats it la for now.. dowanna steal ur time. tat is even anyone is reading this.. chill babay~ like come on, i keep asking ppl to chill whe they're down or angyr or not in the mood, but me myself.. not chilling out:? i mean.. how can i chill out? im like sooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad at that.. i just wanna cry now.. let go off everything..

angry..

gawd.. i was in the mood to chat actually.. but dunno hat just made my mood bad.. suddenly.. its like.. PUFF~! my moodis bad... gawd.. wats happening?

argh~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

god damnmit~!!!!! how??? nothing has changed... nothing~! i did change a bit last week.. but after thursday, everything went back to normal~ eat a lot, exercise sooooooooo veyr little.. and.. i dunno la..~!! how come? u noe.. i eat so much these days.. study sooo little.. exercise lagi little.. gosh.. i think im suffering from binge.. an eating disorder... how can? test is coming up in like 2 weeks time.. this weekend gonna be busy.. sighh.. wat happened to eveyrthing? as in...... my determination and stuff??? ggrrr.... ARGHHH!!!!!!!!` if this goes on, i cant take it anymore.. someone just kill me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ns

sigh.. elaine suah got ns.. ahha.. syok leh.. but gonna miss her tho.. 3months~! goshie~~~~ haha.. even when she goes tuition i sometimes miss her.. sigh.. wat to do.. ahha.. she's lucky anyway.. she took it kinda cool.. yeaps.. happy for her too.. eefen got it..a nd she cry till teruk sialzz.. ahha.. sad case.. hhhehe..

arghh`!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kill me~!

ok.. so now.. im pissed with myself.. i hate myself.. i have changed a lot..i know it.. in many ways,.. but why?? i had a drastic drop in my staudies.. my attitude changed, i lost my determination, wat has happened to me? TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just cant stand it anymore.. i just wana be my old slef.. i miss d onld elynn soo much.. i guess i better start to change myself to my old self.. i really need to if i wanna be good.. really need to change, .. oh well, i guess i have to start frm now.. i need some time.. tats all.. i might not be able to update my blog tat often d.. since im not gonna go online for quite some time i guess.. sigh.. better get started now.. wish me luck~!

>.<

hey.. sigh.. these days do ntg but sleep and eat and eat and online.. sigh.. a lot more work i not yet do u noe.. and monday d open school.. todays friday.. ahha.. i hav to do dunno wat kh drawing, hafal oral, and do sejarah folio.. haha.. one thing also not yet touch.. haha.. better start erm.. tomoro? haah.. c first la.. ahah.. i keep putting on weight sial.. dun play play leh.. ahah.. sigh.. hav to go exercise like mad d.. mhav to diet till die.. haha.. must do it~! I CAN DO IT! muahhahaha... yes, i can.. =) .. hokay.. i dunno wat to say.. ahah.. y am i not so extra determined like last time? i used to be veyr determined.. but now no more.. y????

sigh sigh sigh.,...

back frm kl.. ntg interesting la... sigh.. i online now.. tot can do wat.. but sekali.. sighhhh... eveyrone whos online is sooooo like.. i dunno how to say.. not in the mood? sigh.. i also no mood d..

/////.....//////

ok.. im back.. its now abr 2.41 am.. cant sleep.. haha.. scared.. ehhehe... anyway.. just now online suddenly so many ppl chat to me.. sigh.. haha.. but d most interesting was chattin to ignatius.. hehe.. other than tat was chattin to allison, wc and ck.. nth much to ck and wc.. were had the 3 ppl in a conversatiion thing.. they both were toking abt tkd.. haha.. and i hate tkd.. too bad... haha.. so i didnt say anything, anyway, after wat happen between me and ck, we dun tok tat much anymore,.. i also like.. when tok to him.. he like dowan to tok to me.. oh well, mayb we shud just stay as fren, but no tok d.. eh? haha.. guess tats d best.. i will always remember him as a very extra good fren anyway.. =) .. its true anyway.. anyway, ck if u r reading this, erm.. i really wanna b terus terang.. i think u not as frenly as laz time d.. tat time u said to me, if i treat u as fren, i tell u all my prob, but now when i tell u my prob, u just turn away and even if u advice me, its not really frm ur heart, i noe it,.. and i got no one else to tell my prob.. u c.. all my prob is inn my heart now. i cant stand it anymore.. tats y sumtimes i cant think straight.. tats it... when i met u, ok.. we were just frens.. i told u my rpobs, u helped me, my heart was so relieved.. but now.. my life is getting on like last time and i hate it.. ok.. sometimes im irritatiing.. i noe.. but i cant help it~! just the thought tat we were kidnda close las time and now we are like............... enemies.. i cant bear it anymore k .. i noe u hav a gf d.. yea.. i do.. but its not like i like u or wat la.. as a fren k.. u r like my big bro... i dunno la.. such a feeling tat im feeling now is hard to explain.. i just dunno.. mayb we shud not tok to each other already for a while.. mayb it'll b best for both sides.. i even care for u more than i care for my kor kor. u just dunno.. tats it.. sigh.. ok.. lets mayb forget abt it.. im d piece oof shit.. not u k.? just remember tat.. u were always like a star in a sky when everything around me is dark.. tats it.. but the tyruth is,.. i treat u as a big bro.. tat i respect veyr much.. everyone's midsunderstanding me now.. i hate it.. i treat u as a big bro only.. tats it.. tats all.. i think id better stop now and forget abt it.. mayb we were just supposed to be frens as in frens.. not close.. just smile when we see each other.. tats all.. bye~!

mp

ok.. im tired ryte now.. whole day at mp.. watch 2 movies.. sigh.. watched infection d jap ghost movie with david.. and madagascar with putri.. infection was nice.. but scary,... looks like i wont b able to sleep tonite.. eheh.. madagascar wasnt tat nice la.. i didnt laugh also..haha.. anyway, david was kinda quiet.. looks decent.. ehhehehe... ok. i'll stop here.. kinda busy now

why why why??

sigh.. wat a day.. waiting so long for it and yet nothing happens.. sigh sigh sigh~~~ anyway, chat to ck jz now.. not much tat we chat.. not fully recovered i guess.. or he is too tired.. nah.. i also dowanna noe.. anyway, he's going kl and genting this sunday.. hokay.. and i dunno y my mulut sooo gatal go say i wanna belanja him.. grr.. omg~! and he ask wat.. i say starbucks or coffeebean.. grr.. how stoooOOOpid of me.. ouch~! haha.. now also i no marneee d lehh... sigh~~~ who ask me mulut and tangan soo gatal.. oh well, lets just say... a drink of apology.. yea.. haha.. hope to c him in kl lor.. =P ..

cant 4get abt it..

opppss... still cant get d thing out of my head~! argh~! eveyrtime i sit down, alone.. i will start thinking abt it.. grr.. i just cant believe i did it.. if i didnt do tat, nothin would hav happen... STUUUPIDD MEE~!!! yesteerday drank beer.. cant stand it d ma.. so saddie u noe..

sigh..

ooooooo

omg.. im so pissed... now my frenship with everyone is like.. gone~! pooF~! gone!! yea.. i deleted ck's number frm my fon d.. frm my msn also.. i dunno but sumthing is just not clicking between us.. and i think i broke justin's heart.. well, u wouldnt wanna noe y.. but its not abt love k.. its abt frenship.. gosh.. my life is not working out.. hate it when these kinda things happen.. grr..

perfect friend...

I thought I had found the perfect friend, But it only took about a week for that to end, I thought there was hope left in my life, But as it turns out, it was only added strife, I thought for once I had done something right, But I quickly corrected that oversight, I thought I wasnt useless or a bore, But I was all that and even more, I thought there was a purpose to my days, But that was only a very short phase, I thought you werent like all the rest, But like those before, you failed the test, I thought you would stay with me, at least for a bit, But you decided it was better just to quit, I thought life was worth living for a moment in time, But the life I wanted could never be mine, I thought the hunger inside had been fed, But now I know, I was just being misled. And now I think Ive found another perfect friend, How long before my heart is broken again?