restructuring my new heart

just a year ago, there was a guy who had helped me to pick all the pieces of my broken heart & glued them back together ...

I was so touched, so I let him keep one of the biggest pieces of it.

He promised that he would cherished it, even if we are apart.

I believed him like a fool.

But not long after that, he came back to me

He crushed my fragile heart when I was vulnerable

It shattered into small pieces

No more left. Mine was already gone.

He crushed me so bad & never give back the one that I gave him ...

He made me believe that all guys are just the same.

They just don't know how to cherish girls who love them so much.

I lost my confidence to love again ...

Seems like no guys could make smile & laugh again like he did ...

Until one day

A guardian angel came to me & brought back the smile to my face

The one who had watched me closely, yet standing so far from me

Over a year, without me knowing

while I was still madly in love with that heartbreaker

The one who had waited faithfully

To restructure a new heart for me ...

My love for N is the one that I love the most

But I know, that love doesn't belong to me

Now I gotta give my best to love my new angel

and together, we walk to seek a new path of life

where we could learn to cherish each other ...

To my GUARDIAN ANGEL ...

just be patient with me a little bit more

teach me how to get used of my pain

and to love you faithfully, just like you do

It's because of you, my angel

I'm now strong enough to let him go with SMILES ...

=)

redeeming my glory days

hello, it's me again :)


so yesterday, one of the most BIG events was held. it's Kejohanan Olahraga Kampus Antarabangsa Labuan (KOKAL).

and guess what? after 5 years of shutting myself from track events ...
I made a comeback for the sake of my team - the SSIL team ;)

and I never expect to get this.

and I'm so proud of it. I unexpectedly bring back my glory days in athletic events :)

the last time I got involved in athletic events is during my secondary school time.

but sadly, I only managed to win one individual events, which is 800m. I did try my best for 1500m, which is my favorite event (the one I have the confidence of winning it), but I ended up being in the 6th place ... even worse, I collapsed as soon as I reached the finishing line. if possible, I wanna win both individual events I participated in. huhu.

my friends a.k.a teammates consoled me to quit the 4x400m events because they were worried that I might hurt my leg muscles (both of my legs crammed up after the 1500m event) if I continued. but I was so ashamed after losing so bad at 1500m event; all I wanna do is to redeem my loss. and they gave me the chance, so I repaid their trust on me with another gold for SSIL team. thank you so much friends ... that's all for you :')

soon, we're going to represent our SSIL team to Sukan UMS (SUKUMS) at the main campus in KK, together with SPKAL team. but for this, I won't put high expectations to myself. I know there are lots of great athletes in the main campus, we surely can't fight with them =.=

so here are some of the snapshots of yesterday's event ...

what has started must be ended :)

the painful revenge

for almost 2 months, I hadn't seen him.

and last Wednesday was the first time we met face to face again.

I smiled, acted like a total stranger.

greeting everyone cheerfully but him.

he turned his head away from me.

the guilt was clearly shown in his eyes.

I thought I had win the fight.

yes, in front of him, I've won.

but I'm broke inside.
I started to miss him again.

and just after that, a friend of me told me that the rumor of him being in a relationship with 'that' girl is indeed true. so he cheated me that day he told me the 'truth' about them.

damn it ... what's been going through my mind all the time is this lyrics:

why do I still cry for you?

dying to get close to you ...

oh baby, why do I still fear to face

the ghost of YOU

when will I manage to officially let go of my feelings for him? I just don't know :'(

the 3P story

I'm back to blogging activities. so long huh~

so I did mention before, I'm not going home this semester break (sob3) 'cause we have to attend 3P certification programme. we were offered with three courses - Flash, Database Administration & ASP.NET. I got ASP.NET; I was afraid that I don't have any close friends to attend the same class with me. but thank God, I got few of them - Jane, Jaque, Wei Song, Akma, Mathe, Mega, & so on. phew~

seriously, it really feels like we're already in the working life. our class was held from 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday, which seems like the 'office' hour to us ... & since the cafe is not opened (till now, due to the renovation), so each time when we got our lunch hour, we would hurry back to home & cooked as soon we got there. at some times, me & Dida (she stays with me this whole sem break) would rent a car & drive to the town or nearest supermarket to buy some groceries. man, that was so tiring.

our learning material - book 2956B, 2597B & 2310D volume 1 & 2. 4 books overall.

the 7th floor computer lab. seriously, this is our first time entering this new lab!

the view from our computer lab. love it so much^^

the learning environment :)

hehe :P

anyway, we really enjoyed our time here. we got closer to each other, as well as gaining new knowledge & experiences with our sporting trainers. and surprisingly, we love it so much when there are lesser people in the campus. feels like the whole campus is ours! haha! we were free to use any kind of attires (for me & Dida, we love to use short pants. ahaks)

we also managed to create great memories together here ... and I think I'm gonna miss them when we graduate soon ...

so happy together :D

sharing the moments together ... :3

a BBQ farewell party for our trainer ;)

the best part of me & Jane ^^

our trainer, sir Irwan Lie :)

the golden sunset. LOVE IT!!

and now the new semester begins. aisshhh ... =.="

21 + 1: the FAMILY OUTING

so yesterday was my birthday. and I celebrated it all alone. sigh.

it sounds lonely, indeed. but I don't really feel the loneliness. oh, why? maybe because I don't really feel like celebrating it. I'd actually got myself mentally prepared for this year's lonely birthday, as I know from the beginning that I'm gonna stay at the campus for the whole end semester break.

so how did my birthday celebration went on?

easy. just locking myself in the room, getting all snacks ready & having the Family Outing (season 1) back-to-back shows. then laughed out as loud and as crazy as I can. PUHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!

synopsis: it's about a reality TV show that gathers several Korean great artists to live for a day in village for one day as a family, with new guest aka new family member & different location (village) each week. they'll be required to accomplish some tasks given by their foster family, as well as games and talent time (wahh~ what a complete explaination! haha)

seriously, that Korean reality show is extremely hilarious. I just love to see how they did their conversation and make it funny naturally. some of the members, as many people would imagine, should be having a charismatic look & well manner as actors, or singers. but when they gathered around in this show, OMG! they're just like ordinary people - playing around, doing crazy prank things, yelling at each other. my, I just can't stop laughing till the whole body hurt. PUHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!

anyway, I'm not a die-hard-fan of Korean shows. but after watching that shows, I tend to search for K-pop music whenever I go online. and surprisingly, I grow to love one of the older entertainers rather than the latest artist. it's Lee Hyori.

Hyori in Family Outing

an animal lover. she looks cute here^^

at the early times of popularity; the 20 years-old Hyori

her recent looks. my, she's indeed a SEXY queen! > <

I adore her so much that she can be both charismatic & crazy, to me she's such a professional entertainer. I just can't resist listening to her catchy songs & watching her sexy dance while she's on stage, as well as her a-dork-able attitude when filming the reality shows. just look at the differences below: 

left: while she was in Family Outing show
right: posing like a supermodel

now you see the differences. ehhe :P

OK, seems like I've overwrite the story about Lee Hyori more than my birthday. HAHA!