Weekending

Today marks the last day of my partial "staycation" and two-week break from my part-time job with Empower Tanzania. I didn't manage to blog every day like I had hoped. Nor did I wake up at 5:30 each morning as planned. Nor did I work on books edits. HOWEVER, I did what I probably needed to do most, which was to take it easy and chill the heck out. I got together with friends. I watched Netflix in bed with Jake. I hung out with my kids, threw a fun party, got a massage, finished one book and started another. I am positive that I'm better off because of it.

This weekend we have a PTA hosted movie night at the kids' school tonight, plans with friends tomorrow night, and my parents are coming for a visit on Sunday. I'm also hoping to do one more staycation-y thing and take a nap. May yours be wonderful!

Sintayehu is 6!

We celebrated Sintayehu over the weekend with treats at school, time with grandparents, dinner out, and a small party on Saturday morning. Things I love about this child: She understands the fun of wearing a party dress to a party. She is kind and generous. (She shared her new birthday toys with her friends immediately.) She squeals and smiles when she's excited—there is no hiding her joy. She is genuinely thrilled to see the people she loves and greets them with cheers while jumping up and down. She never asks for anything yet was delighted with every gift she opened. Her energy is endless and her silliness is infectious. I don't know how Jake and I ever got so lucky. Happy birthday, sweet Sintayehu!

My heart is beating

The great thing about being in your 30s, I believe, is that you not only begin to know yourself, but you begin to pay attention to the things that make you happy and bring you joy. You begin to recognize the moment you’ve landed in your sweet spot and, hopefully, you do your best to revisit the sweetness as often as you can. 

For me, contentedness comes when I'm creating. I like engaging in creative projects and I like using my hands. I love doing these things with my children, but I also like to practice on my own. For instance, I decoupaged a paper mache deer over the holidays while watching Netflix. I’ve gathered the supplies to make lavender scented linen spray and yesterday I made candles. The process leaves me such peace.

I love the feeling of total concentration and engagement as I use my hands and mind to muse and create. Pouring soy wax into a pan and stirring it as it liquefies feels like meditation. It requires just enough of my mind that everything but the moment melts away. It’s a prayer that has no words; the quiet, the rhythm of turning something inconsequential into something beautiful connects me to God and softens me to the universe. 

New Year's Resolution: 2016

Last week during drinks and dessert with friends, Beth asked me what my new year's resolution was for 2016. Beth has known me for long enough to observe that I typically jump into each new year with lofty goals for self-improvement. (I've tended to write at length about these goals as well.) But this year, I admitted to Beth that I hadn't really taken the time to consider a grand resolution for the new year and instead told her I was trying to work on one word: PRIORITIES. 

Another friend had mentioned finding one word to concentrate on as a form of resolution—a word like JOY or FORGIVENESS or GRACE. I liked the simplicity of the idea and when I considered the word I might like to focus on in the months ahead, I realized that I'm in a period of life in which I must constantly evaluate priorities. For instance, I love my new business and my work with Empower Tanzania, but being home when my kids get home from school is PRIORITY. I'd love to watch a new series on Netflix (or just finish the last season of Parenthood—I'm so excited!), but eight hours of sleep is PRIORITY. I may want to finish a project on a Friday or Saturday night, but time with friends and family is PRIORITY. There are so many opportunities swirling around and I have a huge appetite. However, time is precious and I need to prioritize how to spend it.

The same evening, I was inspired by Beth who told me that her resolution was to wake early and start her day before her children. Beth and I have always bonded over being night owls who find mornings 100 percent dreadful. However, Jake goes to bed early and then gets up at 5:30 every morning, so I'm often sitting up alone drinking wine and scrolling through Pinterest. I don't want to go to bed, yet I'm not being terribly productive with my time. So, this week I've been making myself go to bed at 9:00, put my computer away/book down by 9:30, and rise at 5:30. I've begrudgingly gotten up to my alarm, made coffee, and joined Jake in his morning routine. (He meditates, I read.) It's too early to see if this new practice actually catches on (my nature screams against it), but I'm trying to develop the habit.

Kitchen Reno Part I: A Couch in the Kitchen

Jake and I got a new stove for Christmas. As with any major purchase, this prompted a lot of discussion. In fact, we’d been talking about getting a new stove (gas burners! convection oven!) for something like three years and finally (with the help of the most amazing in-laws ever) made the purchase earlier this month.

When you add a major appliance to a 107-year-old kitchen, you take a look around. Should walls be moved or removed? Should countertops be replaced? Should cabinets be painted? All of these are things we’ve been asking ourselves.  Ultimately though, as nice as new countertops or an island might be, I really just want the one thing that I’ve wanted for the last 10 years: A couch in my kitchen.

So, we moved our loveseat into the kitchen. It blocks an entryway (currently disguised with a curtain) and we are in the midst of a trial period deciding whether or not we like the new layout. I need no convincing. I cannot tell you how many hours I’ve spent lounging here over the last few weeks. (I’m writing at the kitchen table while comfy on the couch right now.) I’ve lounged here with kids, I’ve lounged here with Jake, and, big believers in family dinners, all five of us have stayed at the table longer than ever.

The kitchen is the command center of this house—of my whole universe, really. It doesn’t need to be shiny or huge. It just needs a couch.

Where I've Been

I had some time over the holidays and found myself up late one night reading through all of my old blog posts. The pictures! The stories! The kids! It was incredible to sit back after months away and appreciate each post written. It reminded me how this blog, while in the deep throes of life as a mom of preschoolers, offered a place of reflection and joy. I didn’t visit this space very often over the last year, but I’m not ready to give it up.

In my last post, I blamed our new poodle for not writing, but getting a puppy was not my only reason. 2015 was a year of huge and exciting changes. In February, I took a new job working part-time for an NGO based in rural Tanzania. (I realized quickly there is no such thing as part-time in the world of non-profit.) Eli played Little League and loved it. Sintayehu started kindergarten and loves it. Oliver keeps reading and getting taller. I opened a business in 2015; I planned the Water Party with my sisters and friends; I found a publisher for my book. Through all of that, blogging has taken a backseat. But friends, I miss it here! I miss the regular reflection and living life with an eye toward story. So, this year, I'm hoping to jump back in.

Photo: Frederic Bazille - Young Woman with Peonies, 1870 at the National Art Gallery

We got a dog and she has taken over my life

Meet Daffodil Pickle

Be prepared. A dog is adorable and noble. A dog is a true and loving friend. A dog is also a hedonist. ~Mary Oliver from Dog Songs