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ok, going to see about being here again more. argh.

Okay, well I seem to be here all in one piece!!

Title: Taking Direction
Author:

firesign10
Pairing(s): Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Word Count: 2200
Rating: NC-17

Summary: Jensen's directing on Walker, and he's missing the old days...

Notes: Written for

kelios's birthday and posting for Saturday Night Specials.

Link to story on AO3

Title: The Circling Sky
Author:

firesign10
Pairing(s): Soldier Boy/Cordell Walker
Word Count: 2700
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Rough sex, discussion of PTSD, implied past rape/non-con (Soldier Boy)

Summary: Soldier Boy decides it's time to tap Cordell Walker's ass again. Somehow no-strings rough sex turns into possible psychological repercussions.

Notes: My 2/5/22 Saturday Night Specials fic! Continuing The Super and The Ranger, by popular demand :-) Many thanks to Jerzcaligrlfor the beta and feedback!

Somehow what started off as your random rough sex hook-up has morphed into angst and post-trauma issues. While nothing is spelled out, please be aware that there is mention/discussion of PTSD, and rape/non-con is implied in character behaviors.

Link to story on AO3

( Story )

I've finished my story for the new edition of the Wincest Zine, coming this spring! :-D

I also posted my entry for the news

salt_burn_porn challenge. Every New Beginning, a J2 story (Explicit, 3500 word count.).

Next up, I need to work up a draft for the

spn_cinema check-in that is due a week from today.

And more seriously, I need to return to work on the story that I hope will be my first published work. Time to buckle down, self!

Thanks for reading and following along!

Title: Every New Beginning
Author:

firesign10
Pairing(s): Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 3570
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: none

Summary: Stanford student Jared goes to a club before heading home to Texas for the summer. He doesn't meet any interesting women, but the bartender is another story.

Notes: Written for the Spring 2022

salt_burn_porn. My tag was "I know who I want to take me home." Many thanks to

jerzcaligrl for the speedy beta!

Link to AO3

Happy to say that I am a participant in the new round of

salt_burn_porn challenge!

Pretty much I am working on my story for the new Wincest Zine, which is due March 1. I'm heading into the homestretch, and with a good wind, I will finish the rough draft this weekend.

I keep mulling over the story I'm reworking (sluggishly) for possible publication. It has some real structural issues that worked for a 10K fanfic but won't work for a 50K book. I think I'm getting a handle on it, so...I need to dive in. The first plunge is the hardest, right?

In the meantime, I'll also be playing with doing a J2 Legally Blonde for

spn_cinema! I know how I'm doing it, but who do you think should be Ell and who should be Luke Wilson?

Happy New Year!

So hope you had a chance to catch my last story for 2021, Sparks and Ashes, a Stanford era wincest. Sex and angst! Ending the year with a bang lol.

Next on deck for me is:

1. Writing a story for the second Wincest Zine, due March 1. Wincest (of course, per the title) and the theme is Dreams. 1-5K word count.

2. I'm doing

spn_cinema, also due beginning of March! My film choice is Legally Blonde.

3. Returning to work on the story hopefully heading to publication. I got overwhelmed in October and lost confidence, but I'm feeling a lot better about it all so I'm going to get back to work on it.

I'm continuing to mod at

sn_specials Saturday Night Specials, and I'm one of 3 mods working on the Wincest Zine, so I am pretty busy on the fandom front. Also still doing panels for Con-Tinual on Facebook. Panel videos are available there or on the Gail Z. Martin Youtube channel. (Panels on Supernatural with a variety of topics!)

Title: Sparks and Ashes
Author:

firesign10
Artist:

tx_devilorangel
Pairing(s): Wincest (Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester)
Word Count: 4580
Rating: NC-17

Summary: On New Year's Eve at Sanford, Sam gets an unexpected visitor - his brother Dean.

Notes: Inspired by the art piece of the same name by

tx_devilorangel. Thank you for the great sexy inspiration, bb!! You were a delight to work with! Thanks to

jerzcaligrl for the beta!

Link to story on LJ | on AO3

Link to art on LJ

Sam picked the flier up from the pamphlet rack outside the cafeteria. "Fireworks on campus at midnight! Happy New Year!" The black letters stood out boldly from the yellow paper.

He sighed. Stanford was pretty empty during the holidays, with most of the students and teachers gone until mid-January. Only the non-American-based students were around, and half of those were off visiting the families of friends. Sam's dorm had only three or four other bodies in it, rattling around in a building that housed one hundred fifty. Sam was the only one on his floor.

He stuffed the paper into his backpack, along with the bagels and fruit he'd nabbed. The cafeteria would be closed tomorrow for New Year's Day, so he figured he'd be all set for breakfast this way. Slinging the backpack over his shoulder, he ambled out the door and set off for his dorm room.

Fireworks. Sam liked fireworks. The colored lights flashing across an inky night sky. The smell of gunpowder and smoke, white trails drifting away. His favorite memory had to be when they were kids, and Dean had 'appropriated' fireworks for them to set off in that Midwestern field, Roman candles shooting up high and scattering sparks everywhere. They'd seen fireworks all across the country, whether sitting on an army surplus blanket in a field or camped out on the Impala's hood, necks craned as the festive explosions burst overhead.

Sam sighed. Well, those days were long over, and he didn't anticipate ever having them again. He'd left his brother and the hunting life for college and a chance at a more 'normal' existence. Most of the time it was worth it, but sometimes...

Suck it up, buttercup, he told himself. You chose. You picked college over Dean.

Yeah, but I couldn't stay, another part of his brain protested. Even if it wasn't for the hunting--and it was! It was the hunting!--I'd have broken one day and he'd...well, he'd probably have punched my teeth in, and then disowned me. And I can survive this, but I couldn't have survived that.

Fine. So ignore that ache like you've lost a limb, and move on.

Sam heaved another sigh. Easier said than done.

He spent most of the day studying. He'd already gotten his books for the next semester, and he figured that he'd absorb what he could on his own before classes resumed. By 5:00, his brain threw in the towel on reading comprehension, so Sam collected his wallet, put on his shoes, and went for a walk. There were a lot of small restaurants and bodegas nearby, and he set off to collect food for tonight and tomorrow night's dinner, deciding to pick up a six-pack and a bottle of vodka as well.

Leaving the liquor store, he caught something black and shiny out of the corner of his eye. Sam whipped his head around, but nothing was there. He shook his head. He couldn't count how many times that had happened when he'd first arrived in Palo Alto; he'd constantly seen mirages of black cars and tall, bow-legged men. All of them ultimately proved to be figments of his yearning imagination.

Sam had the egg foo yung for dinner, deciding to save the beef and broccoli stir fry for tomorrow. A beer with dinner, a shot of cold vodka after, and another beer left him more relaxed than he'd been in days, thanks to finals stress. Leaning against the window frame of his small dorm room, he looked across the green and realized the fireworks would be visible without him even going outside. That deserved a second shot.

Plopping onto the bed, he poured a third shot, sipping this one instead of just throwing it down his throat. He really preferred whiskey, but whiskey was too tied up with Dean. He reminisced again about the various fireworks shows he and Dean had seen on their travels around the country. Riding in the Impala with Dean--well, that was as close to a true home as Sam had ever had. The combined security of the car and his big brother never failed to make Sam feel safe and loved.

Ah, love. And that’s where the problem started. Sam had loved his big brother his whole life, and that was fine. Expected. Normal.

What wasn't normal was the love that began to bloom inside Sam's heart as he reached adolescence. The love that manifested itself in inconvenient boners and wet dreams, piques of jealousy at Dean's conquests warring with Sam's own lust for his brother. Dean's body, his beauty, the heat of his skin...anything and everything about Dean kept Sam in a simmering state of semi-arousal that only fluctuated with the frequency of masturbation sessions and cold showers.

Sam took another drink, chased it with the rest of his beer. He was so far down memory lane now, he might as well finish the trip. He'd finally broken that night he left for California, when Dean had brought him to the bus station. Lost the tenuous control he'd fought so hard to keep. Faced with an angry, confused Dean, green eyes blazing, full pink lips quivering, Sam had succumbed to the flames heating his blood. He'd grabbed Dean's shirt collar, pulled him in, and kissed him.

Dean's lips had been warm, their pressure against Sam intoxicating. Dean had given a little shocked gasp and Sam had taken the opportunity to slide his tongue in, swiping it into Dean's mouth, against Dean's own tongue. For one brief moment, it had been bliss.

Then Dean had ripped himself away, hands clutching hard on Sam's arms to propel them apart.

"What the fuck, Sam!"

Sam had recoiled. "Dean, I--Dean, I'm sorry, I--" He'd watched Dean wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. Tears had prickled in Sam's eyes as he'd tried to stutter an apology, but nothing had come to his lips. Words had failed him at this crucial moment, and instead of speaking, Sam had grabbed his backpack and duffle before turning to run to his bus, boarding it without another glance back at Dean.

"Yeah, not my finest moment," Sam said aloud to the empty room. "Very suave, very mature." He scoffed at himself, taking another sip of vodka, skipping the glass this time to drink directly from the bottle. "Asshole. Finally did something, and then ran like a fucking rabbit. Although I guess, what else could I have done? Not like he was going to kiss me back."

He smacked his forehead and gave a bitter laugh. Sam, Sam, Sam, what a stooge you are.

The table thumped loudly as he put the bottle down. "Jeez, don't bust the booze, moron," he said. He checked the bottle, but it was intact. Then a thump sounded again, and Sam realized someone was at the door.

He got up, feeling a little clumsier than usual due to the beer and vodka, but managed to wrest the door open. He'd overestimated his force though, and it slammed into the bookcase on the wall behind it, dislodging a couple of paperbacks. They fluttered to the floor as Sam stared at his unexpected visitor.

Dean.

"Heya, Sammy," Dean said, and yes, it really was Dean. Whiskey-honey voice, big green eyes, broad smile with just a hint of uncertainty. Black t-shirt under a rumpled flannel, jacket slung over one shoulder, wrinkled jeans with a little orange smear on one thigh that meant Dean had indulged in some Cheetos recently. The crunchy ones, not the puffs, because puffs are for poofs, Dean always said.

"Uh," Sam replied. Somehow words refused to formulate. His eyes were busy drinking Dean in, and his brain had gone off-line at the apparently inadequate memory of Dean's lean, muscular body, flirty grin, and all-around sex appeal.

"Can I, uh, come in?" Dean asked, a little more hesitantly.

Sam shook himself. "Sure! Sure, of course!" He stepped back to allow Dean entrance.

Dean walked in slowly, looking around the small room. Bed, bookcase, desk with a reading lamp. Shelves over the desk stuffed with notebooks, textbooks, and some hoodies. A small square table with one chair. The big S decal on the wall. The window looking out onto the green.

"Wow, I'd say what a dinky room, but it's nicer than a lotta the motels we stayed in anyway." Dean let his jacket fall onto the unmade bed. "So...how ya doing, Sammy?"

Sam stepped back, letting the desk support his shaky legs. "Dean, what are you doing here? I thought--I thought you never wanted to see me again."

Dean tsked. "I never said that. Dad was the one frothing at the mouth. I just--I didn't want to see you go, but I would never have said I didn't want to see you again." He shook his head. "You're my little brother, man. How could I not want to see you?"

Sam's mind was all muddled up at Dean's presence, all big and road-weary and gorgeous. Words tumbled out heedlessly.

"I don't know. You didn't really try to stop me, so I guess I assumed."

Dean snorted and shook his head. "Sammy, when you get a head of steam, you're like a horse out of the gate. By the time I registered that you were really leaving, all I saw was your dust trail."

Sam closed his eyes. The memory of that night was still so vivid--the smell of wet asphalt, reflecting the streetlights in dark puddles. The bliss of finally having his mouth on Dean's. The horror at his impulsive move, and the resultant frantic fleeing.

Dean's voice broke his reverie. "Sammy? What's eating you? Why did that night end like that, you off like a rocket?"

Still coping with the shock of having Dean in his dorm room and further emboldened by the liquor already in his system, Sam retorted, "Because your brother kissed you, freaking both of us out."

Dean looked away, only the fingers of his left hand jittering on one thigh demonstrating his nervousness. "Sam, I--yeah, I was a little freaked. 'S one reason I came. I wanted to talk about it."

Sam spread his hands wide. "Dean Winchester? Dean Winchester wants to have a chick flick moment? How about this, Dean? How about your little brother perving on you? How about how he wanted to bone you, how every girl you brought back gave him blue balls, or maybe about the times I woke up with sticky boxers after dreaming about you?" He pushed off from the desk, surging toward the bottle and taking a big swig. "How about how your brother is so screwed up that he wants to have sex with you? Is that what you want to talk about?"

Dean scrubbed his face with his hands. "How about this, Sammy? How about I take a leak like I needed to for the last twenty miles, and maybe you scare up a beer and some food for me, and then we can talk about it?"

Sam deflated. "Sure, of course, man. Bathroom is two doors down on the left. I got some more beer in the mini fridge along with some Chinese takeout."

"Great," said Dean, and he disappeared back into the hallway.

Fuck, thought Sam. Way to go, spilling your guts in the first thirty seconds he's here. Real cool. He got the beef and broccoli out, spilling some onto a plate and sticking it into the microwave.

Dean reappeared with a sigh of relief. He took a beer out of the mini fridge and popped the cap off, drinking half of it in one gulp. Setting it down on the little table, he pulled out the chair and sat down.

"Okay, bro, you've had your say. My turn." Dean took a big bite, chewed, and cleared his throat. "Not gonna lie, you startled the hell out of me with that kiss the night you left." Sam opened his mouth but Dean held up an admonishing finger. "Ah ah ah, my turn." Sam shut his mouth with a snap.

Another big gulp of beer followed by a burp, which made Sam roll his eyes and Dean laugh. "Sorry, Princess. Back to the topic at hand. Sam, listen good because I am only saying this once." Dean fixed his eyes on Sam's, his gaze flicking back and forth across Sam's face, watching him intently. "You didn't give me a chance to react, let you know where I was at."

"What's to know?" Sam said bitterly. "You were horrified by your freak of a brother. Case closed."

It was Dean's turn to roll his eyes. "Sometimes you just don't know when to turn that big brain off, do you?" He stood up, and Sam backed away, ready to watch Dean leave, or maybe even punch him. Only...Dean moved closer instead.

"Dean--"

"Shut up, Sammy." Dean reached out, cupped Sam's face in his hands, and pulled him in for a kiss.

It was hot and soft, passionate but not rough. Dean kissed Sam thoroughly, lips open and tongue exploring, hands remaining on Sam's face. It went on and on, until both of them were breathing heavily and Sam's dick was suggesting the removal of clothing.

"Dean--" Sam tried to say again.

Dean shook his head, gently pushing Sam toward the bed. "Only words you need are yes or no. Yes, Dean, I want this, or no, Dean, stop."

Sam stared into those deep green eyes, pupils large and dark. They glittered as they stared back at Sam, and Dean's pink tongue came out to moisten his lips.

"Yes, Dean, I want this." Sam's voice was hoarse, desire clogging his throat. He pawed at Dean, hands feeling clumsy. "But--"

Dean put his hand over Sam's mouth. "I just drove a zillion miles because I decided I had to face this. I couldn't keep letting you take the heat for something I knew we both felt. So shut up and strip." He grinned wolfishly, and Sam had to chuckle at the humor, while heat raced down to his toes and back up to his balls.

Clothes flew around the room as they hastily stripped. There was no attempt at alluring behavior; both of them were already hard, (as Sam saw in the next few seconds), and ready to go. We can take all the time later, Sam thought. Just now... and then all coherency left him as Dean wrapped his hand around Sam's cock.

Skin so warm, his hand handling Sam so firmly. Calluses in slightly different places than Sam's, pressure placed in a new way, and fuck--this was Dean. Dean gripping him, Dean stroking him, Dean's thumb swiping to smear pre-come down Sam's shaft. Dean's perfect lips on Sam's, Dean's other hand sliding across Sam's chest, fingers teasing his nipples into aching points.

His knees started to buckle, but Dean caught him and steered him onto the bed. Lips smushed together, mouths open and urgent, they kissed sloppily while hands explored and squeezed. No inch of flesh was left untouched. Sam felt massively uncoordinated, but he was too busy falling apart under Dean's hands to care. Every press of Dean's fingers on his body activated new sensations, sending fresh waves of excitement through him. He never knew his nipples could be so sensitive, making him cry out at every tweak; that his balls could pull up so tightly as they rolled in Dean's palm; that his and Dean's dicks enclosed in their interwoven hands would send fireworks racing throughout his body in a cataclysmic orgasm.

That his heart and his cock could ache in such sweet synchrony that he couldn't tell if he was going to sob or orgasm.

He did both.

Tears bled from his eyes as he cried out in his climax, heart swelling and dick spurting hotly across their bodies. As if it were an echo, Sam heard Dean's cries as well, deeper, hoarser, reverberating in Sam's ear in breathy accompaniment.

They sagged on the bed together, hands now lax around their spent cocks, lungs and hearts gradually slowing in rhythmic pacing. Whether Sam actually slept or just dozed, he couldn't say; it was a timeless moment, warm and sated, limbs interlocked in the safest space he could ever know.

When they finally stirred, they both made a face at the mess between them. Sam pulled out the wet wipes he kept with the lube in his nightstand drawer and they mopped at their sticky hands and bellies.

"How about that food?" asked Dean, like having sex with his brother was something he had everyday.

"Sure," said Sam, happy to go along with that.

And it was back to brothers as usual, eating Chinese and drinking beer, watching New Year's Evil on Sam's laptop. Dean didn't ask about life at Stanford, and Sam didn't ask about Dad or the latest hunts. It was like any New Year's Eve they'd ever spent together in any motel room, as long as they ignored the elephant in the room.

When they finished eating and dealt with the trash, Dean pulled out fresh beers and Sam poured them shots from the vodka bottle. They toasted each other and drank.

Sam broke first. "Dean, what...what does this mean? Are you going to stay here? What are we gonna do about Dad?"

Dean poured them another shot, handing one to Sam. "I don't know, no, and he never needs to know." Throwing the vodka down his throat, he continued, "Dude--this doesn't mean we are a 'thing'. This isn't some happy-ever-after Hallmark moment. I'm going back out there, and you're going to be here doing whatever it is you wanted to do."

Sam, momentarily distracted by watching Dean's throat as he drank, shook himself. "What? I mean, of course it's not. But can't we work something out? You could base yourself here, like we do at Bobby's, for instance."

Dean sighed. "I knew this might be a bad idea. You have these idealistic notions about how we should love. Well, I'm a hunter, Sammy, and I'm going back out there and hunt. There is no home, no hearts and doves waiting for us, just hacking away at the next crappy monster and keeping them from killing people."

Sam felt his anger at this short-sighted life view, dormant while he'd been at Stanford, rise anew in his veins.

"Dean, it doesn't have to be like that."

Dean stood up, grabbing his jeans and shoving one leg in. "Sam, cut it. This...whatever, it doesn't change anything. I just wanted you to know you were not the only freak in the family, so don't keep hiding. When I can, when I'm nearby, I'll swing through."

Now Sam was heading into full-out pissed mode. He felt his face flush as he snarled back at Dean. "So what, I'm a road gig? You'll stop by and bang me in between the bar girls and diner waitresses? Gee, thanks, I'm feeling the love." He started wrestling with his jeans too, getting even more frustrated at how they were all wadded up and he couldn't get his leg in.

"Fuck, Sam!" Dean swore loudly. "What do you want from me? This is how my life is, and it's not going to change because we have some fucking kink for each other!" He stood on one foot as he maneuvered his other leg into his jeans.

"Then why did you even come here? You just wanted to get your rocks off with your pervert brother? What the fuck, Dean! I'm not one of your slutty pick-ups, going ass-up for a smile and a drink!" Sam gave up on his jeans, throwing them across the room and looking for his boxers instead. Suddenly being naked made him feel alarmingly vulnerable.

"Maybe I did!" Dean exploded, waving his hands around. "Maybe I was driving through and thought, hey, think I'll go pork my brother! Shove my dick into his fine, perky ass! Why, you gonna say no, Sammy?" Dean shoved his jeans, only barely on at this point, back down and kicked them off. "Well, shit, man, then let's do it! I didn't come here for some hand job! Let's see how bad you want my dick! I'll tell you right now, I ain't gonna bottom, baby brother, so break out the lube!"

Sam stared at Dean, hands balled into fists, chest heaving with his angry breathing. Dean's eyes were huge and shooting sparks, and his lips had that snarl he got when he was really pissed. His chest, still bare, had a slight sheen of sweat, and his nipples were hard pink points that Sam suddenly craved to get his mouth on. He tried to avert his eyes, but Dean grabbed his chin, forcing him to maintain eye contact.

"What? You going chicken shit on me now?" Dean released Sam's chin. "Don't worry, rape ain't my thing. You just--you fucking drive me nuts!" He looked around. "Where's my fucking shirt?"

Sam's anger began to subside...right into his dick. All that energy seething inside him funneled straight into his cock, and before he could really think, he was hard and aching. He wanted--he needed--

"Dean!" The urgency in Sam's voice was enough to get Dean's attention. He looked at Sam, then his eyes dropped to Sam's cock, jutting out as if to call attention to itself.

"Jesus..." Dean moaned. He licked his lips. "Fuck, Sammy..."

Sam took hold of himself, but Dean smacked his hand away, replacing it with his own. He tugged on Sam, bringing him close before wrapping his other hand around Sam's waist and crushing them together.

Sam grabbed Dean's ass, grinding himself on his brother's cock. Chest rubbed chest, taut nipples tracing lines of scalding heat. Sam groped at Dean's pink nubs, plucking hard, smiling at Dean's groan.

"Fuck you, Sammy, God ..." Dean pushed him back down on the bed. "That is it. Gonna fuck you, Sammy, gotta fuck you..."

"Yeah, yeah, please. God, Dean, wanna feel you, need to," Sam felt his words falling out in a babbling stream. "Lube...drawer. No condom though."

"Don't need them. Never been with anyone without them. Only going to be you, Sammy." Dean's breath was hot on Sam's neck as he murmured, punctuating his words with little nips and licks. His hand left Sam's dick to knead at his pecs. "Driving me crazy, you little bastard. So hot, then you get all angry and you--your eyes--fuck!" He sucked hard at the base of Sam's throat while his thumbs worked Sam's nipples, flicking and rolling them until Sam gasped and arched his chest.

"You done this before?" Sam managed to ask. He'd done hands and mouth before, but ass was new, and even in his aroused state, he was a little nervous. He knew just how big Dean was.

"Yeah. I got you. Roll over," Dean said, manhandling Sam onto his stomach. "Easier for you this way. And I get to watch your ass taking my dick." Sam felt cool lube on Dean's hot fingers rubbing his hole, then one finger sliding in. It was weird, but at the same time, he wanted more.

"Don't take all day, asshole," Sam snarked, and Dean smacked one cheek.

"Who's the hole here? Fine, you in a hurry, then just take it!" The blunt head of Dean's dick pressed against Sam, hot and hard and huge. With a flex of Dean's powerful thighs and hips, it pushed its blind way in.

Oh God, Sam thought frenziedly. It's too big...I can't... But he felt his walls give, stretch, and suddenly it felt good. Nerves Sam never knew he had lit up, sparking pleasure that coiled warm inside him, made him gasp and arch to push back. He moaned helplessly, almost aghast at his own submission to Dean.

Dean did not hold back. He gripped Sam's hip with one hand, sliding the other into Sam's hair and pulling it hard. It stung, yet somehow the pain translated into pleasure as Dean fucked him hard. He thrust into Sam, thighs smacking Sam's with a meaty thwack, Dean's balls slapping his ass. His dick bobbed wildly, swinging with each jolt, pre-come dotting the bed as drops scattered from the tip of his straining cock. Nothing Sam had ever done had prepared him for this; to be invaded willingly, feel another body plumb his depths, unearthing a pleasure that eclipsed anything he'd ever felt before.

He didn't know how long they fucked, only that he climbed higher and higher, feeling like his skin was going to burst. Growls and pants surrounded him, and he couldn't tell which were his and which came from Dean. Everything was hot, sweaty skin, the heavy smell of rut, and the relentless drive of Dean's cock piercing Sam with ecstasy until one final thrust drove a scream from his throat. His belly clenched as his dick exploded, balls pulled up tight, his ass pulsing around that incredible extension of Dean lodged deep inside him.

Sam could feel Dean's own cock pulsing when he came, felt the hot spunk filling him and spilling out. Dean locked against him, grinding in tiny movements and little bucks of his hips as he growled and whined. Sam's cock responded as much as it could, emitting weak dribbles of come as it jerked under the continued stimulation.

They collapsed together, Sam managing to keep Dean from smothering him. They lay steaming and panting, drifting in that delicious post-orgasmic haze. Dimly, Sam heard pops and whistles outside, and he was confused until he remembered the fireworks show on campus.

Guess we had our own firework show, he thought blurrily, and then chuckled. He's sure he'd seen spinning explosions of light.

"Wha’s funny?" Dean mumbled, his nose in Sam's hair.

"Fireworks outside," Sam murmured back. "Like inside."

Dean chuckled. "Ours w'r better."

They dozed for a while, Sam managing to pull a comforter over them as their bodies cooled.

When he awoke, Sam realized he was alone in the bed. He could smell Dean, the sheet was still warm from his body. Sam picked his head up and looked around, thinking Dean was in the bathroom, or maybe went for coffee. He got up, shrugging the comforter off and grabbing a hoodie, sliding it over his bedhead. Peeking out of his dorm room, he saw the bathroom door was open.

Coffee. He must have gone out for coffee, Sam told himself. He wouldn't just... But a chill ran down his spine that had nothing to do with the lack of clothing.

He found boxers and pulled them on, still looking around the room. Finally he looked for his phone, and that's where the post-it was.

Sammy,

You're not a road gig. But I'm not going to stop my life, and you shouldn't either. So, I guess it's so long for now.

Dean

"Fucker!" Sam yelled, balling up the post-it and flinging it away. He plopped on the bed, wincing at how sore his ass was. "Shit."

He got up and went to the window, hoping to see the Impala, see Dean. Looking down at the green, he could see some detritus from the fireworks still lying on the asphalt area from where they'd been launched. His heart felt like scorched earth, after wildfires had burnt away everything but the bare ground. Like the little smudges of ash he could see outside.

Fuck.

My blog statistics for 2021

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Happy December!

What have you been writing, Firesign10?

Well, not much.

I did write 3 Halloween smutty shorts for the Halloween Spookfest. All are J2: Halloween Handfasting, Trick or Cheat, and Stranger than Fiction.

I kinda hit a bit of writer's block and low writing self-esteem issues, but I've been working through it and am ready to resume. Probably nothing major will happen before the end of the year, although I am doing a Saturday Night Special story in conjunction with

tx_devilorangel for art. We'll be re-visiting the Richesters!

Next up will be working on my story for the next Wincest Zine, with the theme of Dreams. Also, I signed up for

spn_cinema, where I'll be re-working Legally Blonde, with art by

jessie_cristo73.

And the big thing will be to resume working on the story I want to use first for publishing. I've been working on setting up my study--repurposing my daughter's old bedroom--and am hoping that having my own space will greatly contribute to my productivity!

In the meantime...happy holidays!

IT'S TIME! The clock has struck! The moon is full! It's time to hit the Halloween Spookfest Comment Meme & write some SPOOKY-ASS PORN! Creepy, cracky, or just plain sassy--find prompts & post your stories/art or links here: https://sn-specials.livejournal.com/22342.html Spread the word!

Back to Chapter 9

Note: Conflict--you gotta have it, but it's tough to write sometimes! Forget the note, let's get back to the story!!!

Jared was at the diner by eleven o'clock on Monday morning. The last few days had been very busy, and he appreciated having a hearty egg and bacon sandwich, a great piece of cherry pie, and some excellent coffee under his belt. Sam and Alona both kept checking on him, and he reassured them he was okay. He’d filled them in on the events with Pellegrino, omitting the night he’d spent with Jensen, as well as his plan for today.

The real question was, how was Jensen? And no one knew the answer to that yet.

Jared kept checking his watch. At twelve-thirty, he gathered up his backpack and phone and headed for the door. Alona hugged him in the middle of the aisle, and Sam caught up with him at the door. "It'll be okay," she said firmly. "He'll be okay. He's got you, Jared, and that means the world, you know?" Jared nodded, not trusting his voice, and Sam hugged him hard before sending him on his way.

As he walked through the plaza, Chad called. "You good, dude?" he drawled.

"Yeah, I'm good. Kinda nervous, but good."

"Okay then. See ya."

Jared's phone played some twangy guitar chords, and Jared flipped it open, saying, "Hey, Chris."

Chris' rough voice asked, "You doing okay, boy?"

Jared laughed a little. "Everyone keeps asking me that. Yeah, as good as can be expected. Just gotta wait and see."

Chris sighed. "Yeah, yeah you do. Well, chin up and all that supportive shit, okay?"

"You bet, dude. Bye."

Jared checked his watch again. Twelve-fifty. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

It was almost time.

Jensen drove up to the plaza and parked at the far end. He sat in his car for a minute, taking some deep breaths. He might be terrified inside, but he wasn't going to show it if he could help it. He got out, locking his car just in case of vandalism, and shouldered his backpack.

The walk to the dojo had never felt so long.

Jensen walked down the long side of the plaza. His eyes were on the ground as he struggled to stay calm and behave as usual. He paused for one last deep breath before turning the corner to approach the dojo entrance, then rounded the corner.

He stopped when he heard his name being called. A bolt of fear shot through him--was it Pellegrino? Or worse? Jensen's head jerked up, his eyes wide and staring.

He found himself staring at the crowd of people in front of the Silver Dragon. Fifty? More? He almost panicked.

But wait--there was Dani. And Chris and Steve standing next to her. And kids, a whole big bunch of kids. Kids in gis.

His kids.

Behind the kids were the adults. Matt. Jensen's other adult students. And not just the adult students, but the parents of the kids; not in gis, of course, but in Silver Dragon t-shirts. And if they weren't in Silver Dragon shirts, they were wearing purple or gray. Lots of them held purple and silver balloons as well.

And in the middle was Jared.

Jared looked so strong and beautiful, filling out a Silver Dragon t-shirt in a absolutely delicious way. He smiled at Jensen, then he turned and gestured to the side. Two of Jensen's intermediate students came forward carrying a huge banner that said "Welcome back, Mr. Ackles!" and was liberally decorated with glitter and ribbons. As Jensen stood there reading the banner and looking at the crowd, they all shouted, "Welcome back, Mr. Ackles!", cheering afterward and applauding.

Jensen's heart seem to have moved up into his throat, because he was having great difficulty swallowing, and tears--not of fear or sorrow, but instead of deep gratitude and joy--filled his eyes.

Jared's eyes were swimming as well, as he watched his boyfriend realize the purpose of the crowd and absorb what was happening. Jensen looked awestruck. Jared could only imagine what thoughts and fears Jensen had been harboring during the past week, but now they could be laid to rest. Jared moved forward to stand in front of Jensen, but then waited for him to make the next move.

Jensen looked into Jared's face, eyes filled with tears, some of them dropping to spill down his cheeks.

"You okay, babe? Too much surprise?" asked Jared softly.

"Fantastic surprise. Incredible. I'm just a little overcome," Jensen replied, sniffing and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "God, Jared, how? How did you manage this? And what does it all mean?"

"It means your students love you and don't plan to leave. It means that most of them don't care that you're gay. I'm not gonna lie, there were a few who did. Happily, they were in a very small minority. Most of all, Jen, it means you don't have to be afraid." Jared held his hand out, palm up. Jensen looked at it, that strong hand that was so capable, and put his own it in. He didn't think there was any place safer for his own hand, or heart, to be.

Jensen cleared his throat and tried to look professional. "So...shall we open up the dojo, Jay? I believe we have some students waiting for class."

"Yes, Jen, let's do that," agreed Jared with a blinding smile.

Of course, it wasn't perfect. Jensen ultimately lost a dozen students who didn't approve of his sexual orientation. On the other hand, all the other students and their families stayed and supported Jensen and the Silver Dragon.

Mark Pellegrino was one of the dozen who left. He was not missed.

Jensen threw himself back into teaching. He told Jared how he felt re-invigorated from the tournament and its aftermath, rededicated to his students for their support and loyalty, and revived personally by Jared and their relationship. Being freed from the fear of discovery and discrimination allowed him to relax in a way Jensen hadn't even realized he could. He was not a publicly demonstrative man by nature, but he could take Jared's hand as they walked, give him a hug and a light kiss, and not fear the consequences.

Jared was thrilled to see his boyfriend so much more at ease with himself. While Jensen remained every bit the professional on the dojo floor, he smiled more, laughed more, and displayed more of his dry wit. Jared was extremely pleased.

It was Sandy who came up with an idea about replacing the departed students. She told Jensen about the LBGT group on the UT Austin campus, and Jared arranged for him to give a self-defense demonstration at the student union. Three new students signed up within the week. The LBGT group also arranged for Jensen to teach a self-defense class on-campus once a month. The revenue from the monthly class and the other new students he added from that exposure offset the revenue from the students who had quit.

One morning, Jared and Jensen met for breakfast at the Roadhouse, as they often did. Over good coffee and even better omelets, they chatted and smiled, looking at each other with obvious adoration. As Alona cleared their plates, Jensen said casually, "Hey, I picked up a little something for you." He pulled a small white box out of his pocket.

Jared looked surprised. "Um, is this where you make an honest man out of me?"

Jensen laughed merrily. "No, dude, I could never do that." He winked at Jared and pushed the box across the table. "Open it and see."

Jared genuinely felt a little nervous about what might be in the box. "Did I miss something? Should I have gotten you a present?"

Shaking his head, Jensen said, "Nope. You're good. Go on, open it!"

Jared picked up the little box and slipped the lid off. He picked up the little cotton square inside and saw the glint of metal. Putting the cotton on the table, he lifted out a key. His eyes darted to Jensen's face and then back to the key. "Jen, what . . .?"

Jensen leaned forward and took Jared's hand. "Ten months ago, we met for breakfast here. That date changed both our lives. I probably should have done this on our one year anniversary, but frankly, I couldn't wait any longer." He cleared his throat, a serious look on his face. "Jared, I would love it if you would consider moving in with me. I'd love to ask you for more than cohabitation, but I want that to happen in its own good time." Jared's eyes got very wide. "So I'm asking you this for now, and you can take your time considering it. Please, just think about moving in with me. I love you, and I would love to spend every day with you." He rubbed his thumb over Jared's hand as he sat back a little.

"Jesus! I--yes, of course! God, Jen, I'd love to move in with you!" Jared pulled Jensen halfway over the table and kissed him. Sam and Alona clapped and cheered from their vantage point of a couple of tables away. Jensen smiled from ear to ear, making the corners of his eyes crinkle, which he said made him look old, but Jared thought was completely adorable. Jared and Jensen both looked over at the women with big grins,

"Okay, you guys, this one is on the house!" said Sam, as Alona nodded in agreement. "Now get on out of here. I'm sure you've got some celebrating to do!" Jensen blushed as Jared snickered, and they hastened out of the diner.

Jared teased Jensen as they walked over to Jensen's apartment. "Jeez, Jen! You blushed!" Jensen snorted and elbowed him in the ribs. Jared laughed, "Don't worry, your manliness is safe! I promise to never divulge your secret to the world!"

Jensen rolled his eyes and hurried his steps. "Damn right you won't! Not if you ever hope to get my dick in your ass again, that is!" Jensen grinned evilly at Jared as they ran up the stairs in the apartment building.

Jared gasped. "Never! I promise!" That was a threat he took seriously.

They tumbled through the door, kissing and laughing. As soon as the door was shut, Jensen had Jared pinned against it, pressing his body hard against Jared's as they kissed deeply. Jared pushed him back a little, gasping to catch his breath. "I'm down with hot wall sex, but if we get into bed, we can take our time." Jensen nodded as he kissed and sucked under Jared's jaw.

"Yeah, baby, that's cool," Jensen mumbled as he pulled himself away from Jared and dragged him down the hall. As soon as they got into the bedroom, Jensen tugged Jared's t-shirt up his torso and over his head. Jared sighed happily as Jensen ran his hands over his chest and abs, his clever fingers tweaking Jared's nipples and sending little jolts through him. Jared gasped with the sharp pleasure of those pinches and tugs, then reached for Jensen's shirt. Jensen beat him to it, quickly whipping it off and throwing it on the floor, reaching hungrily for Jared. They kissed, bare skin burning on bare skin, tongues slick and hot against each other, lips almost bruised from the urgent force.

"On the bed. Need you, need to fuck you," Jensen said huskily. Jared eagerly obliged, hastily shedding his jeans and boxers. He lay down on his back, watching Jensen unbutton his jeans and kick them off. Jensen's thick cock was hard and red, bobbing stiffly between his legs as he clambered onto the bed and sat between Jared's thighs. Jared's cock lay on his belly, darkly flushed, head shiny from the precome leaking out and smearing over it. He panted lightly, waiting impatiently for Jensen to touch him, his body clamoring for contact.

Jensen smiled slowly, his eyes roaming over Jared's body. Jared knew the older man loved to tease him, to draw things out until Jared was half-mad with lust. Usually, Jared loved it too, but today he didn't want to wait. He wanted--he needed--to feel his lover inside him. Now.

He reached out to Jensen, saying softly, "Please, Jen. Please, I want you so bad. Don't tease me?" Jensen lay down on top of him, grounding Jared with his weight, his heat seeping into Jared. Jared sighed deeply, excited and reassured by the smooth, firm feel of Jensen's body against his. Jensen kissed him thoroughly, his full, lush lips heavenly on Jared's. Jared canted his hips up, craving to feel their cocks rubbing together, hot and hard and so, so good. Jensen circled his hips, rolling their dicks against each other, making them both moan with delight.

Jared groaned with the delicious pressure on his cock, but whined in protest when Jensen moved. He backed off of Jared's body, kneeling between his legs. "Turn over, sweetheart. Just for now," Jensen murmured, and Jared obeyed. Jensen stuffed a pillow under his hips, and Jared couldn't help rutting against it. "Hey, now, none of that!" said Jensen and smacked him smartly on one cheek. Jared yelped, but the sting of the smack turned him on as much as it pained him. Lying quietly, he was quickly rewarded with Jensen's strong hands pushing his cheeks up and apart.

Jared purred, knowing what was coming. The first time Jensen had rimmed him, he had been both appalled and excited. Now, he unabashedly loved it. Jensen broadly licked him across his hole, laving the area until it was slick with spit. Then he ran his tongue around and around Jared's hole, gradually pressing inward to start opening it. His finger joined his tongue, gently pressing Jared's hole open as Jensen burrowed his tongue in. He poked and licked inside, easing the tight muscle looser, constantly slicking it with saliva. Jared heard the click of the lube bottle as Jensen slicked his fingers before slowly sliding one all the way in. Jared pushed back a little, his ass craving more. Jensen laughed, "Greedy!" Jared nodded in total agreement. He was totally greedy when it came to his talented lover.

Jensen slid his finger in and out as he kept licking around Jared's hole, probing with his tongue, sucking on the rim. Jared was in bliss, lying with his legs spread and ass up in utter contentment. Jensen smacked his ass again before inserting three fingers, moving faster and harder.

Jared groaned--the burn intensified the pleasure of insertion. "Feels so fucking good! The only thing better is your dick!"

"Yeah, well, that's on the way," Jensen said, his tone pleased. He pulled out and added more lube. "Can you do another, Jay? Want four?"

Jared could feel a wet spot on his thigh from Jensen's dick leaking. His lover was always so considerate about Jared's wants and needs, and Jared wanted to be likewise. "Yeah, I could, but not now--just want you to fuck me silly. Want to feel you for days, Jen, every time I walk, every time I sit, know that your dick was there." As Jensen slid his fingers out, Jared turned over, leaving the pillow under his ass. He spread his legs, sliding a hand over his balls and down to his hole. It felt loose and slick, and he slid his own finger in, whining softly.

Jensen groaned, watching Jared finger himself. "Goddamn, baby, that is fucking hot. Maybe one day I'm gonna have you finger yourself, open yourself up all the way, watch those long, beautiful fingers pumping in and out of your pretty hole while I jack off. How does that sound?"

Jared moaned and nodded eagerly as he continued his finger play. His cock was twitching off his belly, clear strings of pre-come trailing from the tip to his flat stomach. Jensen smiled broadly at his lover's obvious arousal, his own cock just as hard, just as wet. He held his dick and rubbed it all over Jared's, relishing the feel of their cocks moving together, loving how his own pre-come marked his boyfriend. He gritted his teeth as a fresh wave of arousal hit him. Playtime was over.

"Enough!" Jensen growled, and Jared withdrew his hand, cupping his balls and squeezing them before sliding his hand back up to his dick. Jensen got a little more lube and quickly stroked his cock, holding himself at the base to stay in control. He lined up with Jared's hole, pushing in quickly and firmly. Jared gasped, his head digging into the pillow as his body arched. Jensen grunted, pushing hard into Jared, grabbing him around the thighs to anchor them together.

Jared's hands were constantly in motion - rolling and flicking his nipples into hard nubs, then sliding around his abs, giving his cock a few strokes, rolling his balls. Watching Jared touch himself like that sent Jensen's excitement soaring, those long fingers moving so sensuously on that sculpted, muscular body. Jensen's hands joined Jared's, pinching and rolling his nipples, knowing how sensitive they were. Jared immediately moaned, hissing at the slight sting of the teasing. He arched his chest, pressing his hands over Jensen's to trap them against the swollen buds.

Jensen thrusting hard, rocking his hips and pushing his cock deep into his lover. After several strokes, he straightened up, adjusting himself so his thighs were spread wide for leverage. Pushing Jared's knees high and open, Jensen fucked him slow and deep, grinding against his ass to ensure his cock rubbed against his lover's prostate. Jared moaned and grunted steadily, his breath punched out with Jensen's momentum. Jensen moaned as much as Jared--Jared's tight hole squeezed Jensen's cock like a hot, velvet glove, and he could feel his arousal spiraling upward.

Jared's cock twitched madly on his belly, but when he grabbed it, Jensen smacked his hand away. He growled. "Come like this, baby. Just on my cock, you can do it." He sped his hips up, thrusting faster, sliding in and out and slamming into Jared's sweet spot. Jared reached over his head, pushing against the headboard. Both men gasped, their bodies slick with sweat as their muscles drove them towards their orgasms.

Jensen looked down at Jared, laid out beneath him on the bed, completely edible and as gorgeous as a sex god. His tan skin gleamed with sweat; every muscle in his abs, arms, and legs was flexed and defined. His cock was huge, hard, and dark with arousal, leaving shiny, wet smears all over his abs. Jared's pink lips were moist and open as he writhed and panted, his dark hair sticking to his forehead, his nipples in tight points. Jensen's heart swelled with love for his funny, wonderful, sexy boyfriend. He released Jared's legs so he could stretch up over Jared and kiss that beautiful mouth, rub his chest against Jared's beautiful pecs and nipples, all the while snapping his hips into Jared over and over.

Pleasure flooded every part of Jared. Jensen fucking him was explosively thrilling, and Jared could feel the electricity building in him, surging higher and higher towards his climax. Suddenly Jensen moved and was lying over him, plunging his tongue into Jared's welcoming mouth. Jared moaned and sucked on it, his head lifting from the pillow to keep his lips pressed against Jensen's plush ones. Jensen's smooth chest rubbed against him, and the feeling of his silky skin gliding against Jared's swollen nipples was incredibly erotic. Jensen slipped hands under Jared's armpits, anchoring on his shoulders as Jensen thrust harder and harder.

Jared's cock was trapped between their bellies now, leaking pre-come all over Jensen's stomach too. As his straining dick slid between the firm planes of their abs, the extra friction on it was the final spark for Jared. He pushed and slid against Jensen, his balls drawing up tightly, his hands clutching his lover desperately. He tore his mouth away from Jensen, stammering "Oh, Jen--oh God, Jen, gotta...oh shit, gonna--fuck!" He bucked and convulsed, teeth clenching, eyes slamming shut, momentarily losing his grip on Jensen before grabbing him again. Tears seeped from under his eyelids from the intensity of his climax, but he didn't care. He had no secrets from Jensen, no facet of himself he wouldn't share. Jared hugged Jensen tightly, face buried on the older man's neck and he struggled to catch his breath as the aftershocks slowly subsided.

Jensen held his lover close, stroking his hair and murmuring little loving words into his ear. He'd felt the strength of Jared's orgasm while laying top of him, had felt how hard it had shaken him. Jensen understood the emotional fallout of a crescendo like that. He marveled at how emotionally open Jared was, at the raw strength of his feelings. Jensen felt touched and honored that those feelings were for him. He vowed to himself that he would always cherish Jared, would never take for granted Jared's gift of himself.

"Shh sh sh...you okay, baby boy? Love you so much, you're so beautiful, so special. Thank you, sweetheart, thank you for giving yourself to me. Thank you for making my life so wonderful," Jensen whispered into Jared's ear. He combed his fingers through the dark chestnut hair, kissing it softly. Jared turned to face Jensen and kissed him, eyelashes still wet and spiky from his tears.

"I'm okay...just...wow." Jared gave a little start. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry! I left you hanging again! Jen, please, what do you want? I'll do anything, wanna make you happy. Wanna give you the same incredible joy you just gave me."

Jensen shivered. He was still inside Jared, although he'd softened a little. Just thinking about it renewed the blood flow to his dick. "I'm in the best place already. Wanna stay right here, fuck you a little more, paint your ass with my come. Mark you inside and out, baby. Want you to sleep in my arms, share my pillow. Wanna feel your gorgeous ass pressed up against me when I wake up, fuck you again, just keep you loose and ready for my cock all the time. How's that sound?" He punctuated his words with tiny kisses on Jared's nose, cheeks, and his pink cupid's bow mouth.

Jared's eyes closed and he gasped softly. "Yes, Jen, yes--want it all. All for you, all for us. Can still feel you in there right now, getting harder, bigger. Move, Jen, fuck me, wanna feel you come!" Jared bucked his hips a little, smiling when Jensen growled.

"Can't resist your amazing ass, so tight, so hot! Hold on, Jay, gonna fuck you hard!" Jensen proved a man of his word as he started thrusting in and out of Jared again, his balls slapping smartly against the curve of Jared's ass. Jared panted as Jensen pumped, his own cock trying vainly to respond anew to the blissful feeling that Jensen's rhythm gave him.

Suddenly Jensen pulled out, and grabbing Jared by the hips, he flipped the younger man over. Jared squawked at the flip, but promptly went on his knees, spreading them wide and pushing his ass out to Jensen. Jensen cursed at the sight of Jared's pink hole presented so brazenly, seizing his tempting cheeks firmly. He bent and gave a few broad swipes over Jared's hole with his tongue before plunging his cock back in.

Jensen was achingly hard now. Jared's head was down on the bed, his back a beautiful slope while his ass was high in the air. Jensen couldn't resist giving that ass some glancing swats, thrilling to the moans Jared responded with as well as the pink splotches blooming on his tan skin. He spanked randomly, so Jared couldn't anticipate the strikes, but the fleshy sound and Jared's sexy noises added to Jensen's spiraling delight.

Jared was making quite a bit of noise again, and Jensen slipped a hand underneath him to find he was completely hard again. "Oh, baby, look at you, all ready to go again. You're so hot, sexiest damn guy ever. Fucking gorgeous cock, darlin', want you to give me a ride soon, okay? Wanna fuck me? Feel how good I can squeeze your fat cock?" Jared was whining now, nodding frantically. He worked his hips backwards and forward, pushing himself onto Jensen's cock and then fucking into Jensen's fist, fresh pre-come slicking the way.

"Yes, yes, yes, please...wanna fuck you, stuff my cock into you, oh God, Jen, fuck, can't wait. Fuck me, gonna come, want to feel you come, Jen. Come inside me, fill me up, please..." Jared's words dissolved into moans and whimpers as he trembled under Jensen.

"Yeah, baby, yeah. I'm gonna come. Gonna shoot inside you until you're full of my spunk. Oh, shit! Oh, fuck! Goddamn, so good, so fucking good! Love you, Jay, oh shit! Shit! Goddamnit, Jay! Jay, oh fuck!" Jensen drove into Jared and stayed there, his cock straining and pulsing as it shot hotly inside Jared. Jensen felt like his balls were emptying jizz from the last five years, they were squeezing so tightly. He was locked into Jared, transfixed. Just as the peak of his orgasm passed, Jared's hit, sending fresh waves of pleasure cascading through Jensen as he felt Jared's walls spasming and squeezing him, making it feel like his climax was going on and on.

Finally the blinding pleasure subsided enough for Jensen to collapse onto the bed. Jared's hips fell to one side, and Jensen spooned him, gently pulling out as they moved. Both men breathed heavily as they recovered from the storm of their lovemaking. Jensen pressed himself against Jared's back, Jared reaching back with one long arm to caress him. Jensen buried his nose in Jared's hair, inhaling a mix of shampoo, sex, and Jared that both warmed and soothed him. He sank into sleep, utterly content.

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Back to Chapter 8

Notes: WOW, I didn't see that coming!

It's difficult to write such awful, angry conflict. Difficult to put those ugly words into MP's mouth, and to show how angry everyone is. But that's what has to happen sometimes, because these things happen in life. It's not all happy times and rainbows. So the writer must address those emotions, and it can be tough. The trade-off is understanding more where Jensen is coming from, and why he reacted as he did. Sadly, Jared doesn't know any of that.

Take a deep breath, and we'll plunge back in together!

"What's up? You forget how to do a proper roundhouse with those bow legs?" Chris' voice was refreshingly normal and angst-free.

"Yeah, I wish that was it." Jensen snorted. "I could fix that."

"Jen? Something happen?" He could hear the sudden concern, and it warmed his chilled heart.

"Yeah, uh...Jared broke up with me." Hearing the words, Jensen felt an even greater sense of loss, like so far it had been hypothetical but now was made flesh. The pang in his chest was palpable.

Silence.

"I'll be right there. Sit tight."

Jensen sat tight. He didn't move until Chris was opening his door and plopping next to him on the couch.

"Talk."

After Jensen relayed the whole story, they sat in silence for a few minutes. Partway through, Chris had planted a warm, solid hand on Jensen's thigh, giving him both comfort and a focus point while he talked.

"Okay." Chris finally broke the silence. "What do you want? You want to hear some platitudes or you want the real deal?"

Jensen gave a small chuckle. "You have never been platitude-dude. Hit me. I know it's bad."

"Yeah, it is. But the fact that you know it means there's hope." Chris stood up and stretched. "You got some beer around here? Or something stronger?"

"Beer in the fridge, whiskey on the bar, tequila in the freezer. Take your pick. I'll have whatever you have." Jensen let his head drop back on the couch back. It felt good to have gotten it all out, at least. Like the cleansing pain of tending to a fresh wound.

Chris grabbed two beers, the tequila, and two shot glasses. "Fuck that salt and lime shit." He put it on the coffee table and sat back down. "We ain't getting drunk here. You need a clear head. But we need a little bracer, so here." He poured out a shot and pushed it to Jensen, then poured his own.

They clinked glasses and shot the liquor. The burn down Jensen's throat felt good. Left to his own devices, he would have had another and another, looking for the sloppy cushioning of alcohol, but he knew Chris was right. Clear minds were needed to navigate this mess.

"Okay, Obi Kane-nobi. Teach me the ways of your people." Wow, that shot had hit him a little harder than usual. Possibly it was that Jensen couldn't remember when he last ate.

"Alright, buddy, that's it for you for now." Chris pulled out his phone, hit a number, and spoke briefly into the phone. "Taco party pack. Two nachos grande. Extra chips." Putting the phone back in his pocket, he said, "You can have another when the food gets here."

Jensen felt warm from the tequila and from Chris' care. "Thanks, man."

Chris scoffed. "Thanks, nothin'. Now you get the tough love." He turned to face Jensen, one leg bent on the couch. "You fucked up. Okay. Let's break it down. You had a fantastic time with Jared. Did the hot monkey sex thing. Everything's peaches and cream, right?"

Jensen nodded, his throat suddenly thick with emotion. It had been so, so good. He couldn't bear the thought he'd destroyed that forever.

"And then Dickster Pellegrino catches you canoodling in the elevator, and you pretend it's nothing, push Jared away. You hide. So tell me, what do you think that said to Jared?"

Jensen closed his eyes, seeing Jared's shocked face behind Pellegrino's shoulder. His heart ached again. "That I didn't want to kiss him. That I wasn't doing what I wanted to do." The words were sour in his mouth.

"Okay. Go deeper." Jensen could feel Chris' eyes laser-focused on him.

"That I cared more about what Mark thought than what Jared thought. Or what Jared needed." The words came out painfully, but they came. Jensen knew that if he didn't face this honestly, he wouldn't just lose Jared, but also his own integrity.

"And that means?" Chris continued to probe, fishing out every last sliver of pain.

Jensen gave a heavy sigh. It hurt to say it. It hurt to realize what he'd done to the man he supposedly loved. "That I didn't care about Jared."

"Ten points. And then? Come on, boy, I'm gonna pull this out of you if I gotta tie you down first."

Jensen opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. "I basically told Jared that what people think is more important than standing up for him. For me. For us." A tear rolled out of the corner of his eye. "And he was right. I'm such an asshole."

Chris cuffed Jensen's shoulder. "Naw, you're just a little emotionally stunted. Like I said, you see it, just a little late. Now I'm gonna ask the hard question. Look at me, Jensen."

Jensen sat up and turned to face Chris. Chris' gaze was unwavering, but not unkind.

"Do you love him?"

Jensen nodded. He forced words out of his suddenly constricted throat. "Yes. I do. I love him so much."

Chris gave a short nod. "Then you just got to decide, son. Is this whole clusterfuck with Pellegrino worth losing that?"

A knock at the door interrupted them, for which Jensen was grateful. Chris got up and answered, letting his partner Steve Carlson in with two big bags of food.

"Hey! Taco delivery!" He put the bags on the coffee table. Chris went to the kitchen to get Steve a beer and a shot glass. Steve pulled the food out while Chris poured a round. Jensen silently toasted with them, and then appropriated some tacos. The talk and the liquor had woken up his appetite, and he dug in hungrily.

Chris and Steve started chatting about other things, and Jensen ate while he listened to them and mused about Chris's words. The tequila had unknotted his brain, and the food was restoring his body. Now he had to think about what to do for his heart.

Jared looked at his watch. Normally on Wednesday, this was the time he would check through his gear bag, put on his gi pants and T-shirt, and head to the dojo for class.

Was he ready to face Jensen?

Perhaps even more pertinent: was Jensen ready to face him?

Jared pushed his gear bag aside, grabbing his shorts and sneakers instead. Suddenly a nice, long run sounded very appealing. Peaceful. Just him, the road, and some tunes.

He changed into his track shorts and put on his sneakers. Slipping on his arm band, he tucked his phone in, turned the music on, and popped his ear buds in. He trotted out the door and into the evening air.

It's not avoidance, he thought. It's taking care of myself. Why torment myself so soon? There's plenty of time to deal with karate and the dojo later. I'm not giving up on karate, but I need a little time.

His favorite running playlist started, and Jared lost himself in the steady rhythm of the music and his footfalls on the pavement.

Jensen looked over the dojo floor, noting who was in attendance for the adult advanced class. Jared was moving into the advanced class, and Jensen knew he'd been excited about that. Jensen was nervous about seeing Jared after the elevator debacle, but talking with Chris had helped steady him, and he was hoping to start mending fences. He wasn't going to address anything personal yet, but he hated the thought that he'd lose Jared as a student too.

Except Jared was not there.

Welp, he needs a little time. Jensen sighed and gave himself a mental shake. Still got a class to teach. Go on, Sensei, do your thing.

"Attention! Salute!" Jensen started the class, and his musings were pushed aside as he lost himself in teaching.

At one point, Jensen stood near Matt, watching him during a punching drill to check on his form. "A little more there, get that elbow up, snap the fist out--that's it! Feel the difference?"

"Yes sir." Casually, Matt asked, "Uh, no Jared tonight? Is he sick?"

Jensen cleared his throat. "I don't know, he didn't call in. I'm sure he's fine, everyone misses a class once in a while." He nodded approvingly at Matt. "Another half a dozen times like that. Good job."

He turned and found himself facing Mark Pellegrino.

"Who cares that Padalecki isn't here? He's a queer anyway. Sicko!" Pellegrino kept throwing his punches into a pad on the wall while he talked. "You guys should have seen him trying to mack on Sensei after the tournament!"

The rest of the students either stopped or slowed, their eyes turning to Pellegrino and Jensen. Jensen felt sick. This was just what he'd hoped to never have to deal with. Then the nausea was pushed aside as anger took over. He was a role model for his students, kids and adults alike, and he could not let this slide.

"Mark! That's enough. We speak respectfully here. No one 'macked' on me. Now focus!" Jensen's tone was authoritative, despite the churning in his belly.

"Oh come on! He was pawing at you!" Mark shook his head and dropped his hands. "He's a homo, and he's sick."

Jensen let his anger fill his words. "Mark! You are out of line! I will not tolerate that kind of language or slur here! We respect everybody, no matter what!"

Mark rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay. But personally I hope that fag never comes back here."

The thought of Jared never returning to the dojo was the last straw for Jensen. He'd been the one to mess things up between him and Jared, but the catalyst had been Mark. Mark and his homophobic, narrow-minded, righteous attitudes. Fury propelled Jensen past his own fears and made him speak freely.

"Jared is welcome here anytime, as is any student, regardless of their sexual orientation." Jensen bit the words out. "Furthermore, Jared is welcome here anytime because he is a good person. A far better person, in fact, that you are at the moment, Mark. So shut the hell up, and get out of my dojo!"

Mark gaped at him, and Jensen was dimly aware of the rest of the class watching in shock. Sure they are, their Sensei is losing his shit, he thought. But now, freed from restraint, his mouth kept going. His anger and frustration were unleashed and refused to be stoppered up.

Jensen turned to face the whole class, his hands curled into fists and resting on his hips. "If anyone has a problem with Jared, feel free to leave! In fact, if you share any of these ugly feelings with Mark, there's the door. There's no room for that here."

No one moved.

Jensen gave a sharp, short nod. "Let me be totally transparent here. This studio is open to anyone, regardless of race or sex. It would be hypocritical if it were not, because I am gay." Jensen kind of couldn't believe he'd really, finally said it out loud. He didn't know whether to feel proud or nauseous. "So if that's a problem, it's yourIt's my truth. I said it. He might go down, but he'd go down with his ship.

"Class dismissed." He turned on his heel and left the floor. He was done.

Jared woke his laptop up and checked his email. Still no word from Jensen. Jared sighed and typed in the Silver Dragon URL. The website popped right up, the frontispiece identical to the carved sign at the dojo. The usual banner of links ran across the top, with various pictures and event blurbs in the body of the page.

Except today there was a notice directly under the link banner.

Attention Silver Dragon students,

The Silver Dragon Dojo will be closed for the next week, effective immediately. I apologize for not notifying everyone sooner.

The dojo will re-open next Monday. Enjoy the rest after all your hard work these last few months!

Respectfully,

Jensen Ackles

"What?" Jared could hear Sandy's shock over the phone.

"Yep, he closed the dojo for a week," Jared replied. "I don't even know what's going on. I'm guessing that he's probably holed up at his apartment." He sighed heavily.

"It was on the website? Wow, that's serious. How are you doing with this, Jay?"

"I'm just...I don't really know." Jared gave a half-laugh, half-snort.

"I bet. Keep me posted what you find out, okay? Hey, why don't you come over for a little dinner tonight? You can just chill out a little."

"That sounds great. I will. Thank you, honey." Jared rang off, eager to get back to his computer.

The notice was still there.

That evening, he went over to Chad and Sandy's. Sitting at home was just driving him batty.

"Closed. Man, that is crazy." Chad shook his head and handed Jared a beer.

Jared nodded. He still felt stunned. Being that a few days had already passed since the tournament debacle, something else had to have freaked Jensen out. Jared just had no idea what that could be. Whatever it was had to be pretty bad for Jensen to take the drastic action of closing the dojo. Jared's heart squeezed painfully tight for whatever struggle Jensen was clearly going through.

Chad scratched his head. "Jesus, that's--that's pretty wild."

"Chad!" Sandy kicked him. "Jared, I'm sure he's fine. There's been a lot going on, and he's just catching his breath a little, and then he'll re-open the dojo, and everything will be fine."

Jared's eyes misted and his throat felt clogged. He cleared it and said in a husky voice, "I hope so, Sandy, I really do. I just don't entirely know what's going on right now. But I love him. In spite of everything. And I want to talk this out, if we can just talk about it."

Sandy hugged him. "Oh, Jared, I know you do. It's gonna be okay, I really think so." She kissed his cheek before moving to Chad's side. "And you, you oaf, I love you too. Just so you know." She put a hand on Chad's cheek and turned his face to hers, kissing him chastely but sweetly.

"I know, baby, I love you too," replied an uncharacteristically sober Chad. He put his arms around her and hugged her.

Jared had to clear his throat again. "Okay! Enough with the love-in! Where can a guy find a another beer around here?"

They all laughed and switched into dinner preparations. Jared was grateful for their uncomplicated, affectionate company, sitting with a beer and a smile as he watched them move around cooking the meal. He wanted this easy domesticity. He wanted it with Jensen.

Damn, he missed Jensen.

Jared stared at the Silver Dragon website. He'd been checking it regularly during the past week, in case Jensen updated it again. So far, it remained unchanged. He sighed. No news wasn't bad news, but it wasn't good news either. It was just nothing.

He rubbed his hands over his face. Dammit! In spite of where they had left things, where Jared had left things, he was concerned. He knew that Jensen wouldn't close the dojo without some significant reason. But there'd been no response to any of his calls, texts, or emails. Jared didn't know what else to do. He felt he'd already lost Jensen, but he sure didn't want Jensen to lose his studio. And he couldn't help thinking it was all tied in to a certain creep called Mark Pellegrino.

Jared jumped up from the couch. He went to the door and put his running shoes on. Maybe a run would help clear his head and get some ideas going.

The run didn't give him any ideas, but the shower did. Okay, so really it was the urge to jerk off. He was a healthy boy, and he was on his own again. Standing in the shower, hot water cascading down his body, Jared found his cock swelling and his hand just gravitated to it. He stroked himself off slowly but firmly, remembering that last morning at the hotel when they'd traded hand jobs in the shower. The memory of Jensen's kisses, his thick, hard cock moving in Jared's hand, Jensen's strong hand tugging on Jared. He climaxed in minutes, shooting copiously against the tile wall. He put a hand up to steady himself, watching his jizz slide down and get washed away.

Afterward, at least he felt refreshed. The exercise, the shower, the release; he felt better than he had for the last few days. He sat down at his laptop, checking the website again. Nothing. He sighed and checked his email. Nothing. Finally he meandered over to Facebook. Jensen kept a minimal presence there, but lots of Jared's other friends had Facebook and he made sure to check it daily.

And that was when the idea hit him. He sat there for several minutes, pondering it, trying to think of it from different angles. It seemed like it was holding up. He almost didn't dare to breathe.

A smile slowly spread across Jared's face. He had things to do.

In hindsight, closing the dojo for a week had not been the smartest move. Jensen found himself with too much time on his hands and too little that he wanted to do. He couldn't concentrate on reading or television. He didn't want to go out anywhere at all. If it wasn't the fear of running into Pellegrino, then it was the fear of running into other students and families from the Silver Dragon, as he hadn't figured out how to handle things yet since his big announcement on the dojo floor. He had groceries delivered to his townhouse so that he didn't have to go to the grocery store. He ignored the multitude of calls from Jared, Chris, and Dani. He'd posted the announcement of the dojo closing on the Silver Dragon website, and now he checked his email nervously. Jensen was only marginally relieved to either not have new mail, or to only receive a few "Hope everything is okay" notes.

The whole time, he missed Jared acutely. He endlessly relived their night and morning together at the hotel. He jerked off to it when he couldn't stand it anymore. Only, there wasn't anything he could do about the pain in his heart.

As the huge, empty weekend loomed, Jensen's anxiety ratcheted up even more. Three more days. Two more days. What was Monday going to bring? Angry students? Hostile parents? Would he still be in business? What if Pellegrino showed up and made a scene?

Finally Sunday night arrived. Jensen sat on the couch practically nauseous with nerves. Tomorrow afternoon he had to go back. He had to open the dojo. He couldn't not open the dojo. If he didn't, he might as well shutter his doors forever. Raise the white flag and signal that Mark the homophobe had won. Even with the massive fear Jensen felt, he knew that would be the worst ending of all. He had to at least try.

He hardly slept that night, seeing infinite scenarios play out in his mind's eye. Up with the sun, he drank coffee and picked at some toast. By mid-morning he fell asleep for another hour, his tired body pulling the plug for a little while. Then it was time to get up, try to eat again, take a shower, and put his t-shirt and track pants on. He packed up his backpack, making sure he had water, energy bars, his black belt, and his white instructor's jacket. Jensen held the jacket a minute, smoothing the white canvas down, running his finger around the patches. He loved this jacket and what it represented. He loved his job. Jensen closed his eyes and sent a short, silent prayer that this was not the end of his dream.

Then he picked up his backpack and walked out the door.

Back to Chapter 7

Notes: Yay!!! Our boys are together in every sense of the word :-D
The tournament is over and the celebrating...well, YEAH! Of course, this was such a fun one to write. Who doesn't like writing how two people's passion comes to fruition?? I know I enjoy it, and I sure hope you do too!! Ah, moments of happiness! Long may it last...

Jared thought he was waking up in his apartment, with the sunlight streaming in the window onto the bed. Didn't I get curtains? he thought drowsily. Maybe I forgot to hang them? He picked his head up and realized another head lay on the pillow with him. No face was visible, but the light brown hair said that it was Jensen.

It rushed back to him then. Jensen. Jensen naked. He and Jensen in bed, making love. Jensen's cock moving in his ass. And suddenly his morning wood had hardened into fuck-me-now stiffness, further enabled by his hips thrusting it against Jensen's fine, tight ass. He moaned softly.

"Jesus, baby, eager much?" Jensen drawled as his head moved. He looked sleepily at Jared, chuckling at Jared's face. Jared could only imagine the look of half-awake, half-horny lust on his face.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "Woke up hard, got harder when I felt you next to me. Your ass is beyond tempting."

Jensen pulled Jared closer and kissed him. "Babe, don't ever apologize for wanting to make love. It's an honor and a gift, and the hottest fucking thing I ever heard." He kissed Jared again, licking at his mouth until Jared opened and let him in. They made out for several minutes, slowly moving their bodies against each other, until the phone rang.

Jensen reached over and picked it up, slurring "H'llo?" into the general direction of the mouthpiece.

"Front desk, this is your wake-up call. Check-out is at 10 a.m."

"Yeah, thanks." Jensen peered at the alarm clock. "Dude, get up. Stop, man," he said, pushing Jared's head away from the nipple he was busily licking and sucking. "Oh, God, fuck, that feels so good. Stop, Jared, we gotta get ready to check out."

Jared released the nub, now hard and wet, with a sigh. "Okay, so let's grab a shower and we can jerk each other off while we're all soapy and slick. Then we can pick the rest of this up back home. Sound good?"

Jensen attacked his mouth, kissing Jared silly. "Sounds fabulous. Not as fabulous as fucking you right this minute, but pretty damn fabulous." They both rolled out of bed and staggered to the bathroom. They were very fit and strong young men, but the tournament followed by the ardent lovemaking had taken its toll on them, and hot water sounded really good to their tired muscles.

The shower was a tight fit, but they managed to get clean and then leaned into each other's body. Jared held Jensen's erect cock in a soapy hand as Jensen gripped Jared's. They kissed languorously, mouths and tongues moving deep and slow as their hands stroked and twisted, pulled and squeezed. Jared was blissed out, feeling like he was wrapped up in pleasure at the same time he was giving the same pleasure back to his lover. Jensen's dick was fat and hard in his hand, the soft skin overlaying steel, capped by a spongy, smooth head that oozed pre-come with every stroke. He felt that Jensen's arousal thrummed through his own body. His balls tightened and he gasped as he felt the tide breaking over him, shooting him skyward as he spilled in Jensen's firm grip. His own hand tightened reflexively as he climaxed and Jensen's cock spurted, spraying white drips onto Jared's belly that the water sluiced away. They sagged, embracing as they supported each other and caught their breath.

Back in the bedroom, clothes flew as they grabbed everything and stuffed it into their duffels, regardless of whose item it actually was. Jared's gear bag had already gone home with Matt, so he just had his overnight bag. Jensen had his duffel, his gear bag, and his trophies. He'd stashed his bo staff in his car the night before, but everything else had come up to his room. Jared slung the gear bag over his shoulder so Jensen could manage the duffel and the trophies. They left the room, sharing a quick look that said how they would each remember last night, this room, everything. Jensen laughed happily, a lighthearted sound that resonated joyfully in Jared's heart.

The empty elevator opened immediately on their floor and they boarded it.

"Look how shiny your trophies are in the reflection," Jared said. The elevator walls were burnished gold metal, almost as reflective as a mirror. The karate trophies winked in the elevator spotlights.

Jensen wiggled them to make them sparkle. "You'll get one of these big bad boys one day," he said.

"Maybe I'll get one now!" Jared joked, and he pounced on Jensen, pretending to grab a trophy, but really just using it as an excuse to kiss his boyfriend.

He caught Jensen off-guard, his momentum throwing Jensen against the back wall of the elevator. Jensen sputtered for a second, laughing as he pushed back against Jared. "Stop!" Jensen chortled.

The elevator stopped with a jerk, but Jared and Jensen missed both the jerk and the ding of the door opening.

"Stop, you oaf," Jensen said in mock distress. "Get your fat ass off me!" Jared grabbed at him again, laughing at Jensen's pretense of being offended.

"Cut the homo shit, Padalecki! What the hell are you doing?"

Jared pushed Jensen away from him, his eyes wide. He didn't care about getting caught kissing in an elevator, but he knew Jensen would. The worst part was, the owner of that voice?

Mark Pellegrino.

It was clear from his remark that Pellegrino had only seen Jared at first. Jensen was facing the door with his back against the elevator wall, and Jared's size hid him from Mark's view. Jared saw Jensen's face blanch when he heard Pellegrino's voice, his freckles dark like pepper sprinkled on his white skin. Breathe, Jensen, Jared thought desperately, breathe! Jensen pushed Jared away, and that was when Pellegrino saw who was with Jared.

Pellegrino looked stunned, his blue eyes wide and his mouth gaping. His voice rang with disbelief. "Ackles? Jensen? Are you all right? Did this oversized fairy attack you? We can call the police from the front desk and get his scummy ass arrested! He'd probably enjoy a little time in jail, that's where they go to get fucked sometimes! Isn't that right, Jared? You need a little ass-action from some felons?" He scowled nastily at Jared.

"Don't do anything," murmured Jared. "Be cool . . ."

Pellegrino advanced into the elevator, hitting the "door open" button. "C'mon, Jensen, let's kick this pansy boy out of here. You can take the goddamn stairs, Fagalecki, we don't need to breathe your queer-ass air. You might be bigger than me, but I kicked your ass in the ring, and no way in hell are you gonna beat up a fourth degree black belt like Ackles here, right, Jensen?" He looked expectantly at Jensen.

"I'm not beating up anyone," Jensen said quietly, his eyes wide and frightened, but his jaw clenched. "There's no need for any fighting."

Pellegrino tilted his head as he looked at Jensen in surprise. "The hell there ain't! Don't you get it, Jensen? Jared's a fag! A fucking deviant! A disgusting rump-rider who goes around fucking other guys in the ass! How much more revolting does it have to get?"

Jensen clutched his trophies and his duffle bag, standing frozen as Mark's poisonous words dripped out of his sneering mouth. Jared was torn between anger at Pellegrino's ugly insults and fear for Jensen's well-being. He didn't know what to do.

"Jesus, shut up, Mark. We were just goofing around. It didn't mean anything." Jensen laughed hollowly, pushing a now-limp Jared away with one strong arm. "We were clowning around is all." He scoffed. "Do you really think Jared could force himself on me? Shit! Get a grip." He looked scornfully at Jared. "You too. Back off, Padalecki. Enough is enough."

Jared stared at Jensen in shock. What. Was. Happening?

"Jens--"

"You getting in, Mark? Elevator isn't waiting forever. Come on, places to go and all." Jensen moved to one corner of the car. Mark entered, standing between Jared and Jensen, bumping Jared hard with his gear bag.

"I'll protect your honor, Jensen." Mark grimaced at Jared. "Move over, queerboy."

Jared felt the blood rushing to his face, his cheeks burning in anger. He bit his tongue, not wanting the scene to escalate. Half of him wanted to punch Mark out right there.

The other half of Jared felt his heart break as he finally fully realized how closeted Jensen truly was. How Jensen would not, could not, marshal himself up to rebuff Mark's slurs, or stand up for his true feelings, much less for Jared. How Jensen would rather appear to side with an asshole like Mark instead of owning up to being in a relationship with another man. With Jared.

The elevator descended to the lobby, moving so slowly that Jared thought he would die from the tension in the car. Mark nattered on to Jensen about his tournament experience, apparently taking Jensen's small noises as interest, and ignoring Jared. It was just as well, as Jared didn't think he could speak, his jaw as frozen as his heart.

When the elevator door opened on the lobby. Jared looked out curiously, almost expecting to see everyone else moving as incredibly slowly as the elevator had. Instead, it appeared completely ordinary, with people moving amid the same faux art deco decor and overstuffed chairs that had been in the lobby yesterday. He watched Jensen and Mark exit and cross the lobby floor to the reception desk. Carefully putting one foot in front of the other, afraid he would break with the slightest misstep, Jared dropped Jensen's gear bag at the valet station and left the hotel.

He'd planned on riding home with Jensen, but of course that was out of the question now. Jared walked along the parking lot, his brain kicking back into gear now that he was at least out of the hotel and away from Jensen and Mark. Reaching the far end of the lot, he stopped at a bench and sat down, pulling his phone from his pocket and making two calls.

"You have reached the voicemail box for: 'Jensen Ackles'. Please leave a message." The voicemail voice was cool and impersonal. Jared felt grateful for that.

The beep to record sounded. Jared had to clear his throat before he could speak.

"We're done. I can't do this."

He clicked off and made his second call.

"Chad? I need a favor."

"Chad, it was a fucking nightmare. This asshole from class, Mark Pellegrino, he just--he fucking lit into me. We were in the elevator, and we were just clowning around, I was teasing Jensen about taking his trophies, and then--boom! Mark is there and Jensen, he...he..." Jared didn't even know what to say. Chad and Sandy had driven two hours to come pick Jared up. Jared hadn't even looked for Jensen's car, and Jensen hadn't looked for him.

"Ackles just disavowed you, was that it?" Chad snorted. "Asshole."

Jared shook his head, rubbing his burning eyes. "God, Chad, the stuff he said! Jesus fucking Christ, it was so, so horrible! So ugly. He was swearing at me and calling me names, and he thought I was attacking Jensen!"

"Yeah, because you're gonna take on the super-duper black belt instructor! Clearly this guy's brain took the weekend off!" Chad shook his head.

"Right? So it's already getting nasty, but then Jensen just--he just turned into some kind of zombie. He pushed me away and acted like it was just me being a jerk. Like it didn't matter." Jared swallowed hard. "Like I didn't matter. Like I was nobody."

"Oh Jare," Sandy sighed, rubbing Jared's shoulder.

"So I called you, because I didn't have any idea what the hell to do." He fist-bumped Chad's arm gently. "Thanks for coming to get me, man."

"Well, I'm just generally wonderful like that," Chad replied smoothly. "Besides, that would have been a hell of a cab fare." He winked at Jared.

"Yeah," Jared chuckled despite himself, eyes still wet. "Yeah, it really would have."

"So what are you going to do when you get home? Call him? Give him space? Pretend it never happened? Cuss him out for leaving your ginormous ass on the pavement?"

Jared sighed. "I don't know. I'm so--like, I know he's freaked. I know that. He's probably all kinds of scared and confused, and I get that, I do. But I'm angry too. I'm angry like gangbusters at Mark. And I love Jensen so much, but I'm angry at him too. I'm supposed to be with him. We're supposed to go through stuff together. And instead he fucking acted like he hardly knew me and dumped me, and I'm really pissed off about that. So I don't really know what to do yet."

Chad nodded. "Take a little time, dude. Get your own head a little settled, and then you can see where he's at."

Jared nodded while he watched the scenery slide by the car window. Chad was a little crazy sometimes, but he had a good heart. And it was a hell of a buddy that would simply say 'Be there soon' in response to a phone call from a semi-hysterical friend who was stranded two hours away.

"Yeah, dude. That sounds good."

Jensen paced around inside his apartment. He'd been home from the tournament twenty-four hours, out of which he'd managed to sleep for two. The rest of the time he'd spent brooding, checking his email, checking his voicemail, missing Jared, and oh yeah--pacing.

He threw himself onto the couch. All of the brooding and pacing was not getting him anywhere. The only thing he knew was that he felt paralyzed by the ugly encounter at the hotel. That, and Jared's voicemail breaking it off with him.

Not that he could blame Jared. He'd break up with himself if he could.

The encounter with Pellegrino made Jensen feel like he was caught in some horrible flashback to junior high, when he'd started karate in the first place. Karate was his passion and his calling now, but it hadn't started out that way.

"Hey pretty boy!"

Jensen kept walking, ignoring the catcalls. He knew without looking that three or four boys were tailing behind him, smiling meanly. He knew, because this wasn't the first time.

"Oooo, look how pretty! Who ya gonna kiss with that mouth, Jenny?"

"Kiss, hell! He's gonna suck someone off! That's what that mouth is for, isn't it, Jenny?"

Smacking noises followed, accompanied by raucous laughter. Jensen blinked hard, fighting the angry tears that prickled in his eyes. He couldn't help being 'pretty'. He hadn't chosen to have big eyes and thick lashes that would have made any girl happy to possess. He couldn't help that his mouth was full-lipped, pink and soft. 'Kissable' was the nice word. 'Cocksucking' was the not-so-nice one. Jensen had barely known what that meant the first time he'd heard it, but he sure knew now.

In sixth grade, it had just been snickers and maybe some kissy noises on the playground. Now in junior high, the puberty divide between seventh and ninth grade meant older, bigger, and more knowledgeable boys who were well-versed in bullying. Jensen's books got knocked out of his arms, he was bumped into lockers and corners on a regular basis, and the walk home from his bus stop meant another session of harassment. He knew enough to not say anything; it wouldn't help, and his tormentors would just hassle him even harder.

Dammit, he thought rebelliously. Swearing was not condoned in the Ackles household, but Jensen pretty much didn't care at this point. What was some mental swearing, after the grief of school life? He wondered if his parents would consider home-schooling him. Except his older brother, Josh, was in high school and was wonderful at everything, so that was probably not an option.

Something wet and thick hit him, followed by a wave of laughter. Jensen stopped and looked at his leg, where a clot of mud was now adhering to his jeans. Great. He could hear his mom already. 'Jensen, how on earth did you get so dirty? Try to pay attention where you're going.'

Another splat. Jensen snapped and spun around.

"Cut it out, you jerkwads! Leave me alone!"

He turned away and began to run. The boys apparently decided they'd had enough fun for the day, walking away still laughing.

Arriving at his door, Jensen stopped and caught his breath. He'd gotten away today, but he knew the mud throwing meant things were escalating. He had to do something.

He managed to sneak upstairs and change into some sweat pants, stuffing his jeans into the hamper without his mom seeing. Returning to his backpack, he unzipped the section with today's handouts and took them out. A light purple sheet stood out from the white ones, and he pulled it free. A long, snaky dragon writhed around the border, enclosing the words.

Do you want to be stronger and more fit?

Come take an introductory session of Karate!

Strengthen your muscles and streamline your mind! Karate balances physical and mental benefits to help you and/or your child to learn and grow! Develop self-confidence in any situation.

Adults, decrease that stress and that waistline at the same time. Kids, improve your grades and say goodbye to bullies. Karate is the sport that can help change your life.

Bring this flyer to the Silver Dragon Martial Arts Studio at 3859 Hazelton Street in the Weston Shopping Plaza, next to BeautyWorld, and get a free lesson! Ask for Mr. Morgan, Chief Instructor.

Jensen clutched the paper. Fine. He couldn't rat out the bullies, but he could learn to deter them. Plus, karate looked really cool in the movies.

What did he have to lose?

Jensen took a deep breath and thumped downstairs.

"Mom, can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," she answered with a smile.

Jensen rolled his eyes. "Real funny, Mom."

She ruffled his hair. "Of course, honey. What's up?"

He thrust the paper at her. "I think I'd really like to try this."

Donna Ackles studied the paper. Jensen watched her eyes move down the page, then flick back up to regard him seriously.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" She waggled the paper. "This seems kind of out of the blue."

"Well, they just handed those out this week. I thought it sounded interesting." He looked at her as innocently as he could.

"Mmm hmm." She read the paper again. "Well, frankly I'm happy for you to find something interesting as an activity. I don't see why we can't check it out. I'll call the number and see if we need an appointment, okay?"

Jensen threw himself at her, hugging her tightly. "Thank you, Mom."

When they went to the Silver Dragon a few days later, Jensen liked it and Mr. Morgan immediately. He may have only thought of karate in terms of self-defense, but the calmness and order of it was very appealing. Mr. Morgan was big, but had kind eyes and a ready grin. He was also very perceptive.

"So, Jensen," Mr. Morgan said as they were on the dojo floor, Donna watching from the lobby. "I'm going to guess a couple of things and if you'd like to, you let me know if I'm right. How does that sound?"

Jensen shrugged. "Sure."

Mr. Morgan showed Jensen how to kick on a big standing padded cylinder.

"Ten kicks each leg. Remember to bring your knee up high and then fire your foot out. Hit with the heel first." He watched and nodded approvingly at Jensen's kicks. "So, I'm guessing that you're getting picked on at school. Some of the other boys, probably older boys, giving you a hard time, maybe?"

Jensen stopped kicking and looked at the floor. Mr. Morgan clicked his tongue.

"Okay, now the other leg. Go on."

Jensen switched legs and began to kick again. Mr. Morgan tucked his hands into his belt.

"I know a thing or two about boys like that. And I know how a boy who's having a hard time looks. Now you don't have to say anything, Jensen. But this is a safe place, and I'm going to show you how to keep yourself safe too, okay?"

Jensen stopped kicking again and looked up at Mr. Morgan's kind hazel eyes.

"That would be awesome."

On to Chapter 9

Back to Chapter 6

Notes: Isn't the tournament exciting? So much going on! But there's still more excitement ahead, and it's of a very private nature...private between Jared and Jensen. Staying over in a hotel is something that can lead to sexy shenanigans, and that's the case here for our karate boys! Be very, very quiet, and maybe we can peek into their room...

Jensen's face was throbbing dully. The initial sharp pain from the blow had eased somewhat. He felt achy from hitting the floor, and a little dazed too. He hadn't even realized what happened at first. He remembered circling Chris in the ring and thinking he was going to have to be on the ball, because Chris was awesome at sparring. There'd been some feints and then he'd swung at Chris and the next thing he knew, he was on the mat. Apparently he and Chris had attacked at the same time, he had moved right into Chris' punch, and it then landed smack on Jensen's nose. It took a while for the bleeding to stop so Jensen could get up and finish the bout. He knew he was done, but he wanted to get back up and at least finish with a little dignity. Of course, Chris felt terrible about it, and Jensen reassured him it was just what happened sometimes. Today, it happened to him. He quickly lost to Chris, and was done for the tournament.

Winning first place in both of his other competitions was fantastic, and even the unfortunate end of his sparring round couldn't dim that. He'd also had a fulfilling time, if incredibly busy, judging various events. He loved seeing all these people working so hard, presenting their best at the tournament. It was intense and sometimes amusing, often touching and always, always inspiring.

But now it was pretty much over, and his boyfriend, whom he'd hardly seen for the duration, was looking at him with concern and love and worry written all over his face. It broke Jensen's heart to see the emotion pouring out of Jared, and Jared struggling to contain it. Jared's arms were rigid and his fists jammed into his pockets, and Jensen knew it was so Jared wouldn't grab him and hug him right there on the exhibition floor. Jensen felt terrible for forcing Jared to contain himself so rigidly.

"Hey, um...do you have to go back to Austin tonight?" Jensen asked softly.

Jared's eyes snapped to Jensen. "Why, what's up?" he asked hesitantly. "I don't have to be back for anything in particular tomorrow."

"Cool. I thought maybe...well, I have my room here for another night. I thought I might be too tired to drive back tonight, and instead just stay over tonight and drive home tomorrow. You could stay over with me. Everyone's pretty much clearing out tonight. So, you could, if you wanted that is."

Watching the happiness suffuse Jared's face did a lot to mend Jensen's heart.

Jared let Matt know he didn't need a ride back. Matt looked at him questioningly, then grinned widely. "Damn, Jared! Way to go, tiger! Be safe, okay?" And with a resounding clap on the back, Matt headed off.

Jared shook his head, smiling. Let Matt think he was hooking up with some babe from another studio. He went to the front desk and picked up his bag, then went to the elevators. Jensen had already gone up to his room, so Jared punched the button for the fifth floor.

Walking down the corridor, Jared felt highly aware of the anonymity the row of doors provided. Behind each door, someone's story was going on, and no one else knew what it was. He stopped at Jensen's door and tapped. The door flew open, and Jensen grabbed his arm and pulled him in, slamming the door back shut. Immediately Jared's mouth was covered with Jensen's soft, full lips; Jensen's hard body was pressed against his, Jensen's hands were in his hair. Jared gave a little sob and wound his arms around his boyfriend, wanting to protect him, heal him, love him. He thrust his tongue back into Jensen's hot mouth, making tiny moans as Jensen's hands roved over Jared's back.

Jensen broke the kiss, stepping back and pulling so Jared followed. "Hey, so guess what? There's a bed here." With that, he sat on it and dragged Jared between his legs. His hands latched on to Jared's ass, rubbing and squeezing his cheeks as he looked up into Jared's face. "Jared, we don't have to do anything you aren't ready for, okay? I thought maybe--"

Jared looked into Jensen's dark green eyes. He shivered from the mix of arousal and nerves tangling inside his body, but plunged ahead. They’d been building up to this for a while now, and tonight seemed the perfect time. The tournament, the hotel, this moment that was all for them--he wanted to take the final plunge. "I was kind of thinking that...maybe you could fuck me tonight."

Jensen pulled Jared's face down and kissed him thoroughly, tongue plunging deep into Jared's mouth as Jensen sighed happily. Disengaging from the kiss, Jared gently pushed Jensen flat onto the bed and crawled on top of him. Jensen groaned as the weight of his boyfriend's body sank onto him, pinning him to the mattress. His hips flexed up and then it was Jared's turn to groan as Jensen's erection ground against Jared's. Jared's legs pressed against Jensen's hips, keeping Jensen pinned between his thighs as Jared stripped his shirt off.

"Oh, fuck, Jay, you're so beautiful," Jensen murmured while his hands ran all over Jared's chest, feeling the smooth, tight skin that wrapped the curves of his pecs and shoulders. Jared smiled down, pleased by how much his boyfriend enjoyed his body as well as by the caresses.

"Yeah? You like it, baby? It's all yours." Jared's breath hitched as Jensen pinched Jared's small brown nipples, alternating rubbing circles around them with little flicks right over the nubs. He couldn't help arching his back into the teasing touches, amazed as always at how Jensen could unlock these little thrills all over his body. Jensen rolled them over, licking those delicious hard nubs, running his hot, wet tongue over and around them, finally drawing them into his mouth and sucking on them, making Jared whimper and wriggle helplessly. Jared's dick was fully hard now, and he ground it against Jensen as he moaned under the exquisite torture of Jensen's nipple play.

"Get the rest of your clothes off," Jensen ordered, one hand keeping Jared down. Jared immediately ripped at his clothing, pushing the elastic waist gi pants and boxers down, kicking them off the bed. Jared looked up at Jensen as he too peeled his T-shirt off and pushed his track pants down. He had no boxers on, and Jared's cock stiffened even more as he looked at his gloriously naked boyfriend. His lover. Jared's head swam a minute, looking at the expanse of gorgeous skin that Jensen presented and realizing that they were about to become lovers in every sense of the word.

"Jesus, Jen--what do you--fuck! Please, take me, Jen. Tell me what to do," Jared said in a strangled voice, quivering with excitement and anxiety. Jensen pulled Jared up and embraced him, using his entire body to calm Jared. Jared sighed and put his arms around Jensen as well, nestling his face into the join of Jensen's neck and shoulder. Jensen smelled so good; the clean smell of his citrusy bodywash and the indefinable essence of Jensen's natural scent helped reassure Jared he was safe here, he was okay. He reveled in the full body, skin-to-skin contact. Every inch of Jensen felt wonderful against Jared and set his own skin afire. His cock was caught between their bodies, and he instinctively rutted against Jensen's hip, feeling his needy cock run along the groove. He moaned hungrily, and Jensen caught his mouth in a deep kiss, grinding his whole body against Jared as he tongue-fucked the younger man.

"Get on the bed, Jay," Jensen growled in his ear, and in a flash Jared was lying on the mattress, erect dick pointing straight up to the ceiling. Jensen smiled and swung one leg over to straddle Jared, kissing him passionately again before moving down his body, pausing to suck and bite at Jared's sensitized nipples anew. Jared gasped as he arched his back, but Jensen was already moving further down to kiss all around Jared's cock. Jared struggled to keep still as Jensen lapped right over the head of his straining cock, groaning softly as Jensen ran his tongue down Jared's shaft. The wet heat of that tongue was the most delicious torment, and Jensen laughed as Jared moaned brokenly.

"Aw, baby, you like that? Does it feel good?" He gave Jared another long lick. "You taste so good, sweetheart, so damn good. Could suck you all day long." Jensen's hand followed those plump lips as they rose and fell on Jared's straining cock. Jared picked up his head and looked, almost coming just from the sight of Jensen's darkened eyes looking back up at him. He couldn't tell which was more of a turn-on, the glorious sensation of Jensen's mouth on his dick or watching those full lips encasing him, shiny with spit, wrapping around his cock and sucking it in. He put a hand in Jensen's spiky hair, unsure if he want to stop him or to fuck up into that sinful mouth.

"Oh, God, stop or it's gonna be over! Please, Jensen, please, I want you to fuck me!" Jared grabbed his cock at the base, grimacing as he squeezed hard to avert his orgasm.

Jensen laughed softly. "It's okay, Jay, we're good either way. Damn straight I'm gonna fuck you. Can't wait, baby, want you so bad." He kissed Jared's chest, his neck, his face as he murmured reassuring words. "Love you so much, want you, so gorgeous. So beautiful, Jay, gonna make you mine." Jared nodded frantically, kissing Jensen whenever his face came close enough.

Jensen slipped a hand under the pillow and pulled out a strip of condoms and a tube of lube. "Gonna get ready now. Get you ready, wrap me up, and then I'm gonna be inside you, lover. Jesus, Jay, you're so hot, so fucking hot. You don't even have a clue how hot you are." As he spoke in Jared's ear, Jensen was rubbing his hole with a slick finger, going around and pressing on the ring of muscle. This was all new to Jared, and he was surprised how good it felt. Jensen saw his surprise and smiled. "Just wait, this is just the beginning. It's going to get so much better, baby." And with that, he slipped the tip of a finger inside.

Jared jumped at the intrusion. While he knew what was going to happen, the actuality of it was a bit shocking. It didn't hurt - in fact, it felt good, but it also felt kind of odd. He had nothing to relate the sensation to. Jensen kept moving his finger in and out, pushing it a little deeper all the time, pressing on the walls inside. Jared's mouth opened as he took a deep breath, adjusting to feeling something up his ass for the first time. Jensen kissed him as he slowly pulled the finger out. Then two fingers pressed into Jared as Jensen gently bit his nipples at the same time. The mixed sting and pleasure from the bites distracted Jared from the stretching in his ass, and he moaned as Jensen worked the fingers in and out, scissoring them to relax the tight muscles of his channel. Jared's erection faltered a little, and Jensen used his other hand to hold it and sink his mouth down, sucking and running his tongue around Jared's cock. That feeling of mixed hot and wet never failed to galvanize Jared, his cock stiffening quickly inside Jensen's seductive mouth.

Jared's ass tingled from the fingering, and his hips began to move of their own volition. His skin was slowly electrifying as little sparks radiated out from his cock and hole. He heard a little crooning, but when he looked at Jensen, his mouth was still full of Jared's sizable dick. Oh, crap, that's me! he thought, embarrassed. He forgot his embarrassment when Jensen slowly pulled off his cock with slurping noises to mouth and tongue wetly around Jared's aching balls. Jared's crooning turned to moans as he lay there with his legs sprawled wide, Jensen still sitting between them as he licked all around Jared's hole while palming his balls. "Is that good, baby?" Jensen asked with a smile, watching his boyfriend fall apart. His tongue laved Jared's hole, probing into it alongside the fingers that were still sliding in and out. The fingers kept rubbing inside Jared, and suddenly they rubbed a spot that sent a jolt throughout his body.

"Holy shit! Oh, shit, Jensen, what was that?" Jared felt like he had levitated up with that jolt, and his nerves were buzzing everywhere. His dick was drooling beads of pre-come - he could see a slow trail of it sliding down to his groin.

"That's your prostate, baby boy, or as it's better known, God's gift to men," Jensen grinned.

"Goddamn! I read about it, but I never thought it would be that . . . fuck! God, Jensen, please - I'm ready. Please, baby, fuck me now!" Jared bucked his hips, one hand grabbing himself and slicking his dick with pre-come, the other hand pushing at Jensen to get up and get busy.

"Yeah? You ready for me now, ready for my cock to fuck you?" Jensen groaned as he rolled a condom onto his dick. "God, Jared, I can't wait, can't wait to be inside you." He moved to kneel at Jared's hole, giving his cock a couple of quick strokes to spread more lube on. It was Jared's first time and he was going to be tight despite the fingering. Jensen didn't want to hurt him.

"Yes, dammit! Fuck me right now, God, I'm going crazy! Please, I need it! Need you!" Jared panted, his hips unable to stop jerking, his cock bobbing with the movements. Jensen rubbed Jared's belly with one hand as he guided his dick to Jared's hole, rubbing it with the head before firmly pressing against it. Jared felt the blunt head pushing into him and thought he was going to scream when it breached, allowing Jensen to sink into him. Jensen kept pressing, more and more, and Jared thought he was going to split open with the intrusion of Jensen's fat cock. His jaw clenched and his eyes closed while he hung onto Jensen's biceps with an iron grip. It felt kind of good, feeling Jensen's heat so deep inside him, but the tightness and pain were overwhelming that goodness right now.

"Shh, it's okay...gonna be all better in a second, hang on, sweetheart. It's gonna be so, so good, you'll love it, I promise..." Jensen kept murmuring to him as he pushed and pushed in. Jared nodded jerkily, he couldn't speak, he had to just hang on, trying to breathe.

And then Jensen was in, all the way in, his balls pressed right up against Jared's ass. He looked down at Jared, who relaxed his deathgrip on Jensen's arms. Jared opened his eyes again and saw Jensen's green ones staring down at him filled with love and concern and lust. The pain eased, and suddenly the pleasure was back, pushing the discomfort away and making Jared want to -

"Move!" Jared huffed. "Move, Jensen!"

Jensen's face relaxed and the lust took over. "You got it, darlin'," he growled. He pulled back, dragging his dick almost all the way out until the head caught on Jared's rim, and then pushed back in hard. Faster and faster, harder and harder he pumped, his thighs and balls slapping against Jared. Jared panted and moaned, losing himself in the incredible feeling of his lover fucking him. The heat, the fullness - Jared felt completely stuffed with Jensen. He pushed his hips up, pulling his legs as wide as he could, one hand stroking himself in time with Jensen's thrusts. Jensen bent his arms and kissed Jared, licking and exploring his mouth as he fucked Jared's tight hole. Jared clutched Jensen's head, running his fingers through Jensen's damp, spiky hair as he urgently kissed him back. Their bellies pressed Jared's cock between them, and the feeling of their sweaty, hot skin rubbing it all over as they moved made pre-come pool thickly on Jared's belly.

Jensen raised himself up again, pushing his thighs under Jared's so that he could kneel up and still thrust, one hand on each of Jared's ankles to keep his legs wide. "Jesus! Jensen! Oh, fuck! There, right there ...oh my God!" Jared exclaimed as Jensen's dick hit that amazing spot inside him, making it feel like fireworks were going off. His skin felt so hot, like he was going to burst into flames, and he could feel sweat breaking out all over his body. Jared whimpered loudly, reaching a long arm to caress Jensen's chest, tweaking his hard little nipples. He started stroking himself again with the other hand, but Jensen released one ankle and knocked Jared's hand away, gripping his boyfriend's cock himself and jerking it firmly. Jared was cursing freely, a stream of filth running from his mouth as his body urged Jensen on and on. Jensen's face was drawn, his entire focus on Jared, and he fucked into Jared again and again, as deep and hard as he could.

Jared saw the sweat trickling down Jensen's face and chest, watched those muscles flexing as they drove into his own body, and then Jensen growled, "Come on, Jared! Come on! Love you, Jay! God, baby, fuck! Love fucking you, so hot, so incredible! Come, Jay, wanna feel you come! Come for me!" and that was it. Jared felt himself rise up and up and up and then explode, his cock jerking as it spat out fat ribbons and beads of spunk, shooting come all over his belly and chest. His hands dug into the bed as though to anchor himself against the force of his orgasm. His vision went black, he could feel his face stretched in a grimace, but all the way through, he felt Jensen's cock still inside him, giving him this amazing pleasure as it also grounded him like nothing else.

Jensen watched his lover's face and body contort as he orgasmed, marveling at the utter pleasure Jared was experiencing. Jensen's own pleasure was barely being held at bay, momentarily stifled by sheer will, but he'd wanted to give his whole focus to Jared first. It was Jared's first time, and Jensen felt honored to be sharing that fragile, lovely moment with him. He wanted to give Jared the best first time he could, full of love and passion and the nervous thrill of sharing one's body like this. They had an ocean of loving ahead of them, so Jensen knew he could wait and just spend this time giving delight and satisfaction to his eager boyfriend. Taking Jared through this experience had been as hot and fantastic as he knew it would be; Jared was so in love, so responsive, and so fucking hot Jensen had to pinch himself sometimes.

Jared lay quieter now, gasping a little as he tried to catch his breath. "Jesus, Jen, that was...God, I can't even say," he panted. Jensen kept moving inside him, but slowly now. He'd come so close to climaxing with Jared, feeling the pulsing muscles surrounding his cock squeezing him tightly, but he'd grit his teeth to wait. He was still on the brink, so close, but just tenderly fucking Jared through his after-shocks, glorying in seeing Jared spread out before him, still caught up in his bubble of pleasure.

Jared's eyes blinked lazily. A sappy grin crossed his face. "Damn, Jen, that was . . . unreal. Fantastic. You're fucking amazing. Thank you," he breathed. Then his eyes widened in dismay. "Oh, shit! Dude - you didn't get to - shit!"

"Hey, hey, settle down! No big. I just wanted to give you your moment. Watching you go through that was amazing," Jensen smiled at Jared, happy to see the younger man's dismay recede. "We can still take care of me. We can keep fucking, or you could suck me or jerk me, or I can just get myself off on your gorgeous body. All of those work for me. Tell me what you want, baby. It's all good if we're here together."

"Let me suck you? Want to feel that beautiful cock in my mouth," coaxed Jared. "Come wherever you want on me--face, body, mouth. I'm so yours, Jen, completely yours."

Jensen gently pulled out of Jared and pulled the condom off. He briskly stroked himself as he moved to the head of the bed, straddling Jared's head so he was facing down Jared's body. Jared tilted his head back a little and opened his mouth, his hands stroking Jensen's thighs. Jensen fed his cock into Jared's mouth and immediately groaned at the heat. Jared chuckled, the vibrations going right through Jensen's dick and balls. God, this wasn't going to take long, Jensen thought - he was so hard, so ready. Jared ran his tongue around the plump, smooth head of Jensen's dick, tongue tip nudging along the flared edge and then poking into the slit. Jensen hissed loudly, then yelped as Jared cupped his balls in one large hand, rolling them in their velvety sac, gently squeezing them. Jensen felt the electricity starting, moaning as he felt it uncoil in his balls and flood his body. Jared tongued the helmet again and then pushed his tongue against the sensitive spot underneath the head, sending a spike of ecstasy straight into Jensen's brain. The first drops of come fell into Jared's mouth before Jensen yanked his cock out. He wanted to paint his lover's beautiful, tan skin with his come. The rest of his release pulsed out onto Jared's body, Jensen gripping and stroking himself as his balls and cock emptied themselves. He groaned deeply while his hips bucked with the force of his climax. As Jensen began to sag, Jared caught and guided him down to the bed, pulling him close and softly stroking his body as he whispered praise and love into Jensen's ear. Jensen managed to open his eyes and see Jared's blue-green-gold eyes gazing at him, filled with love.

"Love you, baby," Jensen whispered.

"Love you too, sweetheart. Sleep now, you had a big day," Jared whispered back.

Jensen nodded, smiling, falling into sleep even as Jared pulled up the blanket to tuck them in.

On to Chapter 8

Back to Chapter 5

Notes:
It's tournament time! The tournament is here. Time for Jared to test himself and enjoy the new experiences of participating in a tournament. It's a very exciting time, with lots of energy and hubbub going on. Competing can be a little nerve-racking, but so exhilarating too. Once you're done, you can watch all your friends compete, and in Jared's case, his instructor and boyfriend compete. Afterward, it's time for drinks with friends! Let's watch Jared and Jensen experience all of this fun!

Jared had both his forms competition and his sparring round mid-morning. He was nervous as soon as he woke up. A shower and breakfast helped restore his equilibrium. He and Matt had decided the night before to have room service for breakfast, rather than deal with a crowd at the restaurant downstairs. They packed up their overnight bags after changing into their gis, leaving them at the front desk while they took their gear bags with them into the exhibition hall.

Jared found his first ring, which appeared to have about a dozen other competitors so far. This was his forms round, so both men and women were competing. He began to stretch, trying to keep his breathing even as well as get a glimpse of the activity in the hall. And just maybe he was looking for Jensen.

A few more people turned up at the ring, and finally two black belts came over to get the round going. Jared didn't know one of them, a black-haired man whose instructor's jacket read Mr. Collins, but the second judge was Chris. His long brown hair was neatly tied back in a ponytail, and his white instructor's jacket was immaculate. He apparently shared a joke with Mr. Collins, who laughed heartily as he flicked his eyes at the students standing around. The blackness of Mr. Collins' hair was set off by arresting light blue eyes, currently twinkling with amusement. Jared hoped it wasn't amusement at them.

"Okay, let's get going here! I am Mr. Kane and this is Mr. Collins. We will be your judges for this round of forms. Please line up around the ring, and we'll begin."

The students lined up around the rubber mats that demarcated the ring while the judges sat down on a couple of chairs at one end. The round began with no further delay. One by one, the students marched up to the judges, performed cadence, and announced their name, dojo, and what form they were presenting. They performed their form, bowed to the judges, and resumed their place outside the ring. The judges remained impassive throughout the performances, giving no indication of their reactions. After each performance, they turned away and huddled in a quiet, brief discussion.

Jared was about halfway in the line, so he watched over half a dozen other contestants go before him. A couple of people did the same form he had chosen, and he anxiously tried to decide if they had done it better than he could. Then it was his turn.

He walked up to the judges and did cadence, bowing to show his respect. "Jared Padalecki, Silver Dragon Dojo, one kata, sir!" They nodded at him to begin, and he backed up to his starting position. For the next forty-five seconds, Jared performed his form. He struck, he blocked, he kicked. He froze. He flowed. He poured everything he had into it--his strength, his coordination, his passion. And when he was done, he stood up straight, bowed to the judges, and walked out of the ring, knowing he had done his very best. He had not a single regret about anything he could have done better. As the saying went in the dojos, he "left it on the mat". However the results came out, he was good with himself, and that was both surprising and enormously satisfying to him.

He watched patiently as the others finished performing. Some were very good, some were shaky or unfocused. A couple were really, really good. Jared didn't have enough perspective to tell where he ranked in the midst of all these people. Everyone waited quietly as the two judges looked over the scorecards and conferred inaudibly with each other. After a few minutes, they turned in their chairs and faced the students again.

Mr. Collins leaned forward a little as he spoke. "We have the results of the forms competition for adult intermediate students, blue belt. You all did a fine job, and reflect well on your dojos. Wherever you place here today, use it as encouragement to keep going forward in your growth as a martial artist!"

Chris took over. "I'm going to read the names of those who did not place first, and then finish with the fourth, third, second, and first place winners. The first through fourth places will receive a trophy, so please come up to the judges to receive that." He began to read the names. One by one, the students who didn't place moved to one side of the mat. Jared didn't know if he should hope to place or not. All he knew is that fewer and fewer people were standing with him.

"Fourth place, Anna Sysnek!" Applause as a tall, willowy girl accepted her trophy.

"Third place, Bill Teller!" A short man with a muscular body and a ginger beard claimed his prize.

Jared's mind was reeling a bit. It was him and one other still standing. Seriously? He had placed first or second?

"Second place, Jared Padalecki!" Holy crap, he had placed! He'd placed second! Jared stepped forward and accepted his trophy, a shiny gold statuette with the tournament name and seal at the top. A nameplate saying "Second Place in Forms" with space for his name was on the bottom. He stood there stunned, oblivious to the announcing of the first place winner. A couple of pictures were taken, and then the judges left the ring, moving to their next assignment as the students gathered up their things and looked for their next ring as well.

Jared stood on the side for a minute, simply admiring his trophy. He really couldn't believe it. Then a bell signifying the end of the round rang, and he looked up, scanning the hall for the ring his next event was in. Grabbing his gear bag and walking down the aisle, he wished very badly that he could find Jensen and share this amazing news with him. He hadn't seen Jensen at all this morning, with the amount of activity and the number of people moving around.

Now it was time for his sparring round, so Jared hurried, anxious to get to his ring. As soon as he got there, he opened his gear bag and began to put on his sparring equipment. Padded feet, then his padded helmet, and finally his padded mitts. He fished out his mouthpiece and just hung onto it for now. Once again, the contestants lined up around the mat and waited.

Jared cast a few quick glances to see who he knew in his ring. Fewer people sparred than did forms, plus sparring was separated into men and women, so there was a wider range of belts here. Matt was here, and he nodded at Jared. There were a few other Silver Dragons, and Jared was unpleasantly surprised to see Mark Pellegrino among them. Jared didn't know how they worked the pairing for sparring, but he fervently hoped he would not have to fight the obnoxious Pellegrino.

"Contestants, are you ready? I am Mr. Ackles, and I'll be the lead judge on this ring. Co-judging with me is Ms. Harris. We will be sparring by brackets, so that means the final four contestants will be the placers. Matches will go to five points, unless one person has a lead of three and then that match will be called. You will keep safety in mind at all times. You will heed the judges' calls at all times. And finally, when you hear "Up!", you will stop immediately and return to your starting position. Is everyone clear on these points?" A chorus of "yes sirs!" resounded. "If you do not have your full equipment, you must step back now. Full gear is mandatory to participate, and that includes your mouthguard and your cup! Is everyone clear?" At a final chorus of assent, Jensen began to make pairs of the contestants, looking to start off with matches as even by belt and age as possible.

Jared's heart was pounding. He was thrilled to finally see Jensen, but nervous as hell that Jensen was judging the sparring. He had no fear that Jensen would favor him. He knew Jensen had far too much integrity for that. Jared just wanted to do well in front of his boyfriend. He shook his head at himself, knowing that he needed to focus on the event now. He bounced lightly on his feet, feeling loose from his form, channeling his nervous energy into straight adrenaline.

"Mr. Padalecki, you will be paired for your initial round with Mr. Cohen," Jensen said, resting his hand on Jared's shoulder for a second as he signaled for Matt to come over. Jared and Matt grinned at each other and high-fived their padded paws. Jared felt electricity from Jensen's brief touch, and it triggered a surge of eagerness to get into the ring.

Matt put his head close to Jared, saying softly, "Okay, dude - I know we're both gonna go for it, so don't hold back. I know you're gonna fight fair, and so will I, but let's make it count!" Jared nodded and gently thumped his hand pad on Matt's helmet, making the other man smile before they high-fived again.

The first match was over quickly, as the one contestant got his three points in a row. The second match was longer, and Jared was torn between finding it an interesting watch and wanting to get in there himself. Finally that match ended, and then it was time for Jared and Matt. They bowed to their judges and to each other, waiting for the "Go!" from Jensen.

As soon as the command was given, Jared and Matt began bouncing lightly on their feet, circling each other and throwing some punches and kicks just to feel each other out a little. Jared attacked first, leaping toward Matt and flicking some fast punches at him. Jensen called "Up!", waiting until the fighters returned to their starting positions before awarding the point to Jared. The two men were a good match as Jared scored, then Matt scored, both men working hard to block each other while still trying to score. In the end, Jared was the victor, leading the match 5-4. He and Matt bowed and high-fived, leaving the ring free for the next match.

"Damn, Padalecki, that was awesome! Best I've seen you spar, dude!" Matt gasped out as he pulled his helmet off. Jared took his off too, knowing he had several minutes now before his second match. He gulped half a bottle of water down, feeling drenched inside his gi and his gear.

"You were terrific, Matt. I really thought you were gonna get it first!" Jared said. Fortunately he'd thrown a hand towel into his sparring bag, and he wiped it over his face and head as he cooled off a little. They watched the other matches, and then Jensen announced the second bracket.

Jared's next opponent was Mark Pellegrino.

Jared was shocked. He looked at Matt, who was looking at him with the same surprised expression on his face. Jared closed his mouth and grit his teeth, slipping his helmet back on. The bout with Matt had been a good challenge, but Jared had been well aware of the mutual respect he and Matt shared. He felt there would be no such mutual regard with Mark. This match was going to be tough all the way.

He popped his mouthguard back into his mouth and stepped back into the ring. Mark stood across from him, grinning in a feral way. Jensen stood on the side and barked "Go!" and the two men sprang toward each other. Jared felt a blow on the side of his helmet and heard Jensen's voice call "Up!" He moved back to his place as anger seethed inside him. The blow was fair, a scoring strike in fact, but it had been much more forceful than usually allowed. Jensen reminded them to mind the level of contact, and restarted the match with "Go!" again.

Jared knew the match was only a matter of minutes. While it went on, though, it felt like time moved like molasses. Jared was constantly blocking, evading, locked into a defensive position. Mark was so aggressive, so fast, that Jared couldn't take a second to strike a blow without opening himself for a point. Mark scored a second point, and Jared panicked. He knew if Mark scored one more point, the match was over. He pushed himself to be faster, launching himself at the other man, and managed to get a point on Mark. He saw the other man's eyes narrow in anger. They circled each other a moment, catching their breath, and then Mark came at him again. As Mark moved past Jared, lashing out with a hook kick, he whispered viciously, "Fucking faggot!"

Jared managed to block the kick in time, but he was stunned. What the hell was that? He glanced nervously at Jensen, wondering if he'd overheard the slur. Pellegrino was moving in and moving out, throwing out kick after kick, and once again Jared was on the defensive. Again and again, whenever he came close enough, Mark whispered curses and slurs, calling Jared faggot again, queerboy, ass licker, and the like. As pressed as Jared felt physically, he felt even more unnerved by the verbal attack. Judging by Jensen’s lack of reaction, Jared knew Jensen must not be able to hear what was going on, and Jared was too unfamiliar with tournament sparring to know if he could just stop the match. Jared didn't even want to stop it--he just wanted to hand Mark his head on a platter. He grew angrier and angrier, punching out harder, blocking solidly so he could try slipping a kick under Mark's guard, and constantly moving to make Mark chase him.

Ultimately, though, Mark's greater sparring experience paid off, and despite Jared scoring a couple of points along the way, Mark hit five points first and won. Jensen announced Mark as the winner, and they had to bow and high-five, even though it was the last thing Jared wanted to do. He was shaking as he left the ring, ripping his helmet off and wiping his face with his towel to give himself a chance to calm down. Matt came up next to him, asking if he was all right, and Jared just shook his head. "Later, man. Can't now." Matt nodded sympathetically, patting him on the back and then turning to watch the next match.

Jared didn't place in sparring, but he didn't care. He knew he had sparred well for his experience level, and he was well-satisfied with that. The only fly in the ointment was losing to Mark and his nasty tongue. Jared looked at him as he held up his second place trophy, crowing about his win, and then just walked away.

Now that his bouts were done, Jared could relax and enjoy the rest of the tournament as a spectator. Different rounds were going on all day; the various kids' rounds, the other age brackets of the adults. There were some weapons rounds where students demonstrated their ability with long, slender bo staffs, whirling nunchucks, or kamas with their short, curved blades. Creative weapons took that to the next level, with routines designed by the students themselves instead of set forms, performed to various bits of rock or classical music. Jared made a mental note about looking into that, it looked amazing. He hung around with various Silver Dragon friends, wandering the hall at will. Now and then he saw Jensen judging at this ring or that, and he stopped to watch from a distance. Jensen looked so calm, so competent and professional, and Jared fell a little more in love with him right there.

By late afternoon, most of the student competitions were done. On one side of the hall, the mats were rearranged to make a much larger ring. Now it was time for the instructors' competitions, and Jared was enormously excited to watch Jensen compete. Along with Matt and half a dozen others from their dojo, they found a good vantage spot and waited.

First up was the instructors' creative weapons round. Only four or five men and women were participating, and they lined up with their bo staffs and broadswords. Jensen stood among them with his bo staff, a narrow rod slightly longer than he was tall. The two broadsword competitors went first, and then the three bo staffs. Jensen was second to last, and Jared felt as nervous as if it were him.

Finally Jensen's turn was up, and he went into the middle of the ring, bowed, and waited. The first bars of his music began and Jensen started to move. Jared was riveted. Jensen twirled the staff, swung it wide, snapped into various attacking positions. He ran and flipped in the air as he tossed it, catching it and snapping to position on one knee. The bo staff was coated in a prismatic silver finish, and as Jensen spun it deftly between his hands, it sparkled and glinted in the lights. He threw it up in the air, did a back flip, and caught it on beat. The music ended, and the audience burst into applause.

Jared was completely not surprised when Jensen won first place, clapping wildly as Jensen received a two foot tall trophy.

The instructors moved on to their forms now, and the field was much larger. Over two dozen instructors surrounded the ring, quietly waiting their turns. Jared watched Chris perform, impressed by the controlled strength of the man and the concentration he brought to bear. A few turns later, it was Dani, her hair pulled back into a ponytail with cascading red curls spilling down her back. Her form was strong too, and Jared thought of Mark Pellegrino and what an asshole he was. He hoped Pellegrino was watching Dani now, so he could realize what a formidable woman she really was. Jared clapped hard for both her and Chris.

Once again, Jensen's turn was near the end. He didn't appear nervous at all, but radiated calm and focus as he stepped onto the mat. He bowed and then exploded into his form. Jared had seen Jensen perform his form at the school, but this was beyond that. This was brute strength paired with coiled grace, creating a whole new beast filled with energy and precision. Jared's jaw dropped; for all the times he'd seen his boyfriend move, this was a new experience. When Jensen finished, breathing hard as he bowed and retreated, his peers were all nodding to each other as they applauded. Even they were impressed.

Jared was completely not surprised when Jensen won first place again, clapping wildly as Jensen received another two foot tall trophy.

It was time for the last event, the instructors' sparring.

The sparring was every bit as hard-driving as Jared figured it would be. Every single one of the instructors were fast, strong, and aggressive. Jensen and Chris were paired in the first bracket, and after a couple of circles around the ring with some exploratory feints, Chris moved in at the same time Jensen did. Chris threw a backfist that landed squarely on Jensen's nose, causing him to stumble back and go down, one hand on his face. Jared gasped, as did most of the audience, and the judges--including Master Morgan--ran over to Jensen as he sat on the floor. Chris immediately knelt at the edge of the ring, facing away to show he was in a stand-down position.

Jared fidgeted anxiously, wanting to know how Jensen was. Finally the men clustered around him backed away, and Jared saw Jensen stand up. He was holding a wad of paper to his nose, most of which was stained bright red. Jared's heart thumped loudly as he tried to ascertain Jensen's condition. He seemed to be moving around okay. The judges had moved Chris to the side and gone on with the next sparring pair, to keep the matches moving. Jensen sat on a chair, but left his gear on. Jared hoped that meant everything was okay.

After the current match ended, Jared saw Master Morgan bend over Jensen. Jensen nodded and stood up, handing the bloody paper to Dani. He put his helmet back on and resumed his place in the ring, as did Chris. The two men bowed and high-fived each other, then stood still waiting for the call. Master Morgan yelled "Go!" and they were back at it.

It was pretty clear that the blow to the nose had taken the fight out of Jensen. He parried and blocked, moving around Chris steadily, but his offensive moves were not aggressive. Chris managed to score three consecutive points, and the match officially ended. Jensen and Chris hugged, after which Jensen walked out of the ring and began to remove all his gear.

Jared lost interest after that. He left his friends to circle around over where Jensen was sitting with a fresh tissue.

"Are you okay?" He couldn't get in Jensen's space, really, but he could be a student asking after his instructor. Jensen nodded before he turned to look who was asking. His eyes darkened when he saw Jared standing awkwardly, hands jammed into his jeans so he wouldn't reach out to Jensen. Jared stared anxiously at his boyfriend, trying to evaluate his condition. Bruises were already blossoming under Jensen's eyes, and there was dried blood on his face and the hand holding the tissues. "Is it still bleeding?"

Jensen shook his head. "No, it's pretty much stopped." His words were muffled, like he had a bad cold. "It's not broken, just a good smack and a bleed. Pretty much screwed my sparring round, though."

"Hey, you aced the forms and creative weapons. It's okay to leave something for someone else to win," Jared said with a half-smile. Jensen chuckled, a smile finally spreading across his face.

"Guess you got a point there, Jared." Jensen stood up slowly, moving his head around. "Neck's stiff as all get out too. I'm guessing that's the recoil from going down so hard."

Jared had to hold himself back from drawing Jensen into a hug. He stepped back just to ease the temptation. "Yeah, makes sense. Listen, I guess I gotta--I gotta go." It was getting harder by the second to restrain himself. His boyfriend was hurt, and Jared wanted to comfort him, hug him, kiss him and tell him he'd be okay. Instead, he had to walk away. Sudden tears pricked his eyes, and Jared looked around the hall to distract himself. "I rode here with Matt, so I guess we'll take off in a few. I'll see you back in Austin, okay?"

On to Chapter 7

Back to Chapter 4

Notes: Things are heating up in and out of the dojo! Jared and Jensen are getting closer all the time *wink* plus there's all the tournament training to do. Life is pretty exciting for the boys!!

And I'm excited about bringing this story to you! It was really great to re-visit this particular fic, being that it's a story so close to my heart. This was also one of my first big Romance stories, and I liked building the emotions between the boys (and the heat...). I learned a lot in the process, and I learned even more as I re-wrote this new version. I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Jensen lay in bed, organizing his thoughts about his tournament practice the day before. That focus quickly dissipated under a happier influence; namely, recollections of fooling around with Jared last night. Concentrating on kicks, punches, and controlled breathing was impossible when memories and pictures of a mostly naked, lustful Jared kept intruding. Jensen shifted on his bed, feeling heat seeping into his groin as he envisioned Jared's messy hair, damp tendrils clinging to the sides of his face and neck, his eyes narrowed while he gasped air in through moist, pink lips. Jesus, he was so tempting, so enticing, and he had no idea of the torment he inflicted on Jensen. Jensen dreamed of being completely naked with his boy, having their bodies in full skin-on-skin contact with each other, and then Jensen entering Jared, sinking his cock deep into Jared's hole, sharing that heat and ecstasy with his lover until they both screamed.

The bedroom felt very hot suddenly, and Jensen ran a hand over his forehead to wipe some sweat off. He was sweaty all over, his skin damp, and his sleep pants were tented like he was the Big Top at the circus. He groaned as he pressed a hand against his stubborn dick, but all he could think of was how big Jared's hands were, those huge hands with the long fingers. Jensen wanted very badly to have some of those long fingers up his ass right this damn minute. It seemed that the only thing he liked fantasizing about better than fucking Jared, was being fucked by Jared. Jensen hadn't considered himself much of a catcher before, but damn if he didn't want it both ways with that man.

Jensen wanted very badly to have some of those long fingers up his ass right this damn minute. It seemed that the only thing he liked fantasizing about better than fucking Jared, was being fucked by Jared. Jensen hadn't considered himself much of a catcher before, but damn if he didn't want it both ways with that man.

Of course, they talked about it. Jared may have been less experienced sexually, but he was definitely more in touch with his feelings, and able to articulate them.

"I appreciate your consideration," he told Jensen as they cuddled on Jensen's couch. "I know you're going slowly for me. I want to do everything, but I don't want--I mean, it's all--"

"It's all new. Baby, I understand. I'm in no rush here. Everything we do is fantastic. There is nothing for me to be unhappy about here." Jensen kissed Jared firmly, wanting to reassure him. "The last thing I want to do is rush you, or make you stressed over what we're doing or not doing. If you're happy and I'm happy--which I am--then it's all good."

"Okay," Jared replied, slipping his hand down Jensen's pants. "Let's be happy together."

Jensen was doing paperwork at the dojo when Chris walked in one afternoon.

"Hey! How are you?" Jensen greeted him. "What brings you around, besides my natural charm?"

"Yeah, sure," Chris scoffed. He grinned at Jensen. "I wanted to check on you, see why we haven't seen you as much. Dani was nagging me to come over."

"What, she can't pick up the phone herself?" Jensen chuckled. "Been busy, you know how it is. I don't have a partner to cover me half the time."

"Yeah, yeah. I suspect it's something more than that." He plopped onto a chair and put his feet up on a second one. "'Fess up, dude. What's going on?"

Jensen took his hands off the keyboard and leaned on the desk. "Well, um...I might be seeing someone."

Chris dropped his feet back onto the floor with a loud thump.

"What? You serious? You're seeing someone? I didn't know you were going to Houston that often."

Jensen shook his head. "Not Houston. Here in town."

Chris stared at him in shock. "You're kidding! You, king of the closet? Tell me everything, young Jedi."

Jensen ducked his head, unable to keep from smiling. "Yeah, right here in town. Um...a student actually. And you know him."

"Oh dear God, tell me you are not dating Mark Pellegrino." Chris wrinkled his nose.

"Wash your mouth out! God, of course not. I suspect he's a big homophobe anyway. But no, it's someone from back in our Dragoon Patrol days. Jared Padalecki." Jensen waited to see Chris' reaction.

"No shit! I thought he moved away!"

"Well, he moved back, and he's studying in my dojo. And yeah, we're dating." Jensen's grin was ear-to-ear, he could feel it, but damn if he could stop it. Just thinking about Jared made him happy.

Chris leaned back in his chair. "That's fantastic! You always had a bit of a thing for him back in the day. But wait--does this mean you're out?"

Jensen shook his head, his grin fading. "No, I can't do that. He's okay with it though. We're under wraps for the time being. I mean, sure, people know we are friends. We work out together a couple of times a week, hit the movies once in a while, grab a beer. But that's it as far as anyone knows."

"Okay," Chris said. "Is that alright with him?"

"Yeah, for now. I just don't want to rock the boat. I can't risk my studio, my business. We've talked about it, and he understands."
Chris snorted. "Dude, he understands for now."

Jensen scowled at Christ. "What does that mean?"

Chris stood up and brushed off his jeans. "It means the day may come where that isn't going to be enough for him. If he's already out, someday he's going to want to show the world that he's with someone. And if that day comes, you're going to have to make some tough choices." He came over to Jensen and clapped him on the shoulder. "But in the meantime, I'm happy for you. He was a great kid, and I'm sure he's a great guy now."

"Yeah, he is." Jensen's grin returned. "Let's go out for a drink one night. He'd love to see you and Dani again, I bet."

"Sure thing. Give me a buzz. I gotta go get ready to open now, but let's do it soon." Chris pulled Jensen into a hug. "You deserve to be happy, my friend. So be happy."

Jared's desire for Jensen was only offset by feeling hesitant because of his inexperience. He'd decided he needed some advice and practical help so he'd made a lunch date. Now he was sitting outside at a picnic table on the University grounds. He had two cardboard boxes from the diner, two water bottles, and a thermos of coffee with paper cups. He flipped through some study notes as he waited, enjoying the early spring sunshine and fresh air. He looked up with a smile as his lunch date sat at the table.

"Hey, Sandy, thanks for having lunch with me!"

Sandy positively twinkled back at him. "Of course, honey bun! I haven't seen you in a little while, so I was happy to get your text! I missed you!" She opened her lunch box, oohing appreciatively at the turkey club on rye with crispy bacon sticking out, a generous pickle wedge on the side. "The Roadhouse?"

"Of course! Accept no substitutes!" Jared opened his lunchbox and promptly took a big bite of his own club sandwich. They both ate hungrily for a few minutes.

Sandy wiped her mouth with a napkin and said, "So, first talk to me about what you need to talk about, and then you can tell me all about how Jensen and you are doing. I'm guessing you're doing pretty good, which is why we haven't seen much of you." She winked at Jared.

Jared put his sandwich down, suddenly nervous. "Yeah, we're doing great. He's--God, he's so great, Sandy. He seemed kinda serious at first, but now? He's so funny! He's dry, he's got this dry fucking wit, and then sometimes he gets really silly, and it slays me because you'd never think it of him. And sweet, so sweet and cuddly. Oh God, don't ever tell him I told you that, okay? He can kill me with his pinkie!"

Sandy laughed. "No sweat! I won't give away your secrets! What's on your mind then? Clearly you don't need any relationship advice."

Jared could feel the blush creeping into his cheeks. "It's not boyfriend advice, but it's still relationship advice. See, I never really dated in California, so Jensen is my first boyfriend. And that's okay, he knows that and he's patient with me when I'm clueless. But that also means I have very limited experience with--with sex."

Sandy's eyes widened. "Wow, Jared, I didn't realize that. Well, fortunately you scored a smoking hot boyfriend, so points to you. Would you be better off having this conversation with Chad?"

Jared shook his head vigorously. "No, Chad can't help me with this. See, what I want to know about is--oh God, this is so embarrassing." Jared covered his face for a second. Taking a deep breath, he dropped his hands and looked right at Sandy. "It's about blow jobs. I want to know about how to give a blow job. I want to blow Jensen, but Jensen's done everything before, and I don't have any idea how to do it, and I don't want to suck at it. No pun intended. And I watched porn, of course, but I don't know what's real and what's for show when they're doing it, you know?"

Sandy's eyes widened. "Oh! Yeah, I don't think Chad could help you with this, not that he doesn't like to get a bj! And you're absolutely right about the porn, easily half of that is nonsense." She giggled, winking at Jared, who groaned and blushed. "Well, okay. I can't entirely tell you how to blow Jensen, because a lot of it is going to come from you, as you guys are uh, in the moment, you know? It's your love, your desire, that plays a big part, just like all sex, and that's all from you. Like...well, you guys are probably giving each other hand jobs, right?" Jared blushed redder but nodded. "So you and Jensen could do the exact same movements while you're jerking each other off, but it's gonna be different with how he's feeling and how you're feeling, and your personalities. Get what I mean?"

"Yeah, yeah I do. That makes sense."

"I guess people would say to do what you like, but I'm assuming this means you've never received a blow job, besides not having given one?" Jared ducked his head, and Sandy patted his tousled hair. "That's okay, honey. I think this is really special and sweet. You're going to have all these firsts with Jensen, and I think that makes you really lucky." Jared reached his hands up and squeezed hers, finally raising his head and looking at her. She smiled at him. "It's okay, Jared. It really is."

He groaned. "Nineteen-year-old virgin, never had a blow job. I feel so lame."

She laughed and kissed his head. "Stop! You're not lame. You're very sweet, and you're crazy hot, and you're going to have flaming hot sex with your incredibly hot boyfriend! Now, allowing for personal preferences as they develop, here are some things you can keep in mind when you're ready to go down on him." And she went on to calmly relate tips on fellatio, including the use of spit, dealing with teeth, and common hot spots on the male organ. Jared was embarrassed at first, but as she went on, he got absorbed in her words. He also got a pretty good boner, but he was able to hide it by pulling his windbreaker over his lap.

After his lunch date with Sandy, Jared still felt a little nervous about giving his first blow job, but he also couldn't wait to get home and try it out on Jensen.

Jensen looked thrilled when Jared said that he felt ready to try this next step. Jensen promptly blew Jared, making it as sensual as he could. Jared just about lost his mind. Besides the hot, wet sensation of Jensen's mouth, Jared had the astounding visual treat of Jensen's pink plump lips in action, sliding up and down Jared's dick, spit-shiny and puffy. When Jared came, Jensen swallowed most of it down, but let a few drops run out of the corner of his mouth and down his chin. Jared surprised them both by leaning forward and licking Jensen clean.

Jared took the plunge himself with a little coaching and encouragement from Jensen. It was messy and a little awkward at first; Jared didn't anticipate dealing with so much spit, and teeth were a bit problematic until he got the hang of covering them. As he relaxed more, he found sucking off his boyfriend to be sensual and exciting; an act rewarding both in pleasure and intimacy. Jensen's dick was as gorgeous and sexy as the rest of his body. Thick and a good length, crowned with a well-shaped mushroom head, it flushed a deep red as Jensen's excitement built.

Jared loved how it filled his mouth, twitching hard against his tongue as he sucked and worked it. Beads of pre-come swelled on the tip until he sucked them away, dipping the tip of his tongue delicately into the slit and making Jensen whimper brokenly. Jensen tugged on Jared’s hair, so he pulled off and watched Jensen spill thickly over Jared’s hand.

After swapping their first blow jobs, Jared was left with no doubt about how much Jensen enjoyed oral sex in general, whether he was giving or receiving it. When Jared had Jensen's cock in his mouth, Jensen was boneless, his body and limbs completely relaxed until his orgasm was close. His cock was rock hard, veins bulging, jerking helplessly under the ministrations of Jared's tongue and lips. When it was Jensen's turn to perform, his concentration on the task at hand was single-minded. He sucked and tongued Jared with a focus and skill that had Jared coming embarrassingly fast the first few times. The promise those plump lips held was fulfilled and then some. Jared was a very, very happy young man.

At the Silver Dragon, tournament training continued. A dozen other adult students were competing, as well as many of the children. The emphasis in all the classes was on tournament forms and sparring. The energy level, usually at a pretty good level anyway, was positively buzzing. Months were coming down to weeks, and all the participants were feeling the excitement growing as the days counted down.

Jared's time with Jensen was sparse, because Jensen was very busy overseeing all the competing students' preparation. In addition to that, he had his own practising to do. He was competing with other instructors in forms and sparring, just like the students were. A week before the tournament, as everyone strove to polish up their routines, Jensen performed his form for every single class in the dojo. Children and adult students alike were completely impressed how strong and graceful their instructor was, and were even more motivated to do the very best they could themselves.

Friday, the day before the tournament, was full of preparation. A big truck came to the dojo to move large, square rubber floor mats out of storage and transport them to the exhibition hall. The schedules and scorecards for the competitors were handed out. The registration forms were put in a box to be used for check-in the next day. The dojo itself was closed, so that everybody could help make sure everything was ready.

The exhibition hall was two hours away, and the first adult rings started at 9:00 the next morning, so most of the adult students spent the night before at the hotel attached to the hall itself. Jared and Jensen were likewise spending the night there, although in separate rooms. For the first time, Jared pulled out his puppy eyes and silently begged Jensen to let them stay together.

"Baby, I can't. I'm sorry, I am. Not there. We can go on vacation afterward, and have all the wild hotel sex we want, okay? But not there," Jensen explained softly as he looked into Jared's eyes. "Please, sweetheart, please tell me you understand?"

Jared dropped his eyes and nodded. He did understand, and he knew it had nothing to do with how much Jensen loved him. Jensen was just too scared to take that risk, and it wasn't Jared's place to force his hand. If it really bothered Jared, then he'd have to decide how to deal with it. Right now, it really didn't bother him too much; Jared had just wanted a night or two with his lover in a nice hotel, and that it wasn't going to be now was not a deal breaker.

Instead, Jared shared a room with Matt, his friend and training partner from class. They carpooled as well, driving to the hotel together on Friday afternoon. They arrived early enough to help unload the rubber mats and set them up to make a dozen rings for competing in. Sign stanchions were placed at each ring, with large placards slipped in to designate the ring number. Off to the side of the hall, Jared saw tables put together lengthwise and covered with white fabric tablecloths. He wondered what their purpose was. Later on, he looked over there again and saw that the tables were covered with row upon row of shiny trophies, gleaming in the light.

More people arrived in a fairly steady stream all afternoon, easily distinguishable by their large gear bags. Most also wore T-shirts with their dojo's name and logo on them. Students and instructors from all over the area milled around the hall and the hotel, many of them greeting competitors and friends they'd met at previous tournaments. No events were planned for the evening, so people just got settled in and enjoyed being social.

Jared saw Jensen a few times as the hall was being set up, but they were only able to exchange a quick smile and greeting. The other adult competitors from the Silver Dragon had previously agreed to meet up for dinner, and Jared and Matt joined this group in the hotel restaurant. A lot of stories from other tournaments were told, and those who had competed in the past traded last-minute tips.

At one point during the dinner, Jared saw Jensen come into the restaurant with a group of instructors, including Chris Kane and Dani Harris. Jared couldn't help feeling wistful for a moment that he couldn't just go over to his boyfriend and give him a hug. He caught himself staring and quickly dropped his eyes before turning away and pretending to pay attention to another story at his table. The excitement of the evening suddenly seemed dulled, and his heart ached.

"Hey, how's everybody doing tonight? You all doing okay?" Jensen's rich voice made Jared whip his head around. He hadn't seen Jensen approach their table from behind, and hearing him speak unexpectedly startled him. The others were all nodding and greeting Jensen normally, but Jared found his throat too choked up to speak. He smiled and nodded, lifting a hand to wave a little. Jensen was talking with everyone, one hand on the back of Jared's chair, one on the chair next to his. Jared looked at that strong hand with its elegant fingers, Jensen's black sport watch on one wrist. His Silver Dragon t-shirt skimmed his muscular body. Jared's jeans felt tight, and he silently scolded his dick for getting ideas. God, he could see the faint moisture on Jensen's skin, practically smell the warmth of his body from working on the set-up.

Chris came up behind Jensen. "Hey! you guys all competing tomorrow?" The many affirmative responses made the long-haired instructor smile. "Jen, you got a great turnout, dude! Well, Kane/Harris may not have as many people here, but we'll be giving y'all a run for your money! It's all friendly, though, really we're still one big family. Half a dozen of us all trained under Master Morgan, and we consider each other brothers and sisters." He clapped Jensen resoundingly on the back, making him almost fall forward into Jared's lap. Jared instinctively put his hands out to catch Jensen, and for a brief second that broad, solid chest was pressed against Jared's palms. Jensen straightened back up, and Jared's hands were left empty. He pulled them back into his lap self-consciously.

"You okay, Jared? Didn't mean to knock Jenbo into your lap there!" Jared looked at Chris to nod that he was okay, and was startled to see one bright blue eye wink at him.

"If you just got off me, you ass, I wouldn't be falling anywhere! Don't think you can injure me tonight and knock me out of the instructor's ring!" Jensen threw an elbow back at Chris, who parried it with a husky laugh.

"Oh, boys! Come on now! Save it for the ring tomorrow!" A lilting voice cut through the laughter, and Dani Harris was suddenly standing on the other side of Chris. Her red hair was loose and curling around her shoulders, and her Kane/Harris Studio t-shirt was snug over her perky breasts. Jared idly thought that if he actually liked women in that way, he would be trying to chat her up. Clearly several of the other men at the table did like women that way, as they gravitated toward her like bees to a flower. Jared, Jensen, and Chris found themselves momentarily isolated as Dani cooed and flirted with the rest of the Silver Dragon contingent.

"Thank me later," Chris muttered to Jensen. "You been pining for your boy, so now you got a minute anyway. Sorry I can't do more." He clapped Jensen on the shoulder and moved over to Dani, egging the guys on in their pursuit of the lovely redhead.

"What?" Jared was befuddled. "What was--he did that on purpose? And Dani?" He searched Jensen's face questioningly.

"Yeah, he's kind of a jerk sometimes, but he means well," Jensen said, shuffling his feet. He looked straight into Jared's eyes. "He's right, though. I was pining for my boy. It sucks seeing you across the hall, and knowing that I can't do anything about it. At home, we always have our private space to be together, but here, it's another ball game, y'know?" He took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. Jared knew he was fighting the frustration that Jared was.

Jensen sadly looked back at him. "I'm sorry, Jared. I guess we're gonna have to deal with this at some point after all, aren't we? It's not fair to you. I can look right at you and see you're feeling the same way I am. And fuck, I just miss you. You're right there, and I wanna kiss you and hug you and tell everyone you're mine, but I just--I'm scared." Jensen's eyes were sad as he watched Jared. "I promise we're gonna talk about this when we get home, okay? I can't promise what's going to happen yet, but...we'll talk."

Jared was too choked up to speak, so he just nodded. He struggled to clear his throat so he could respond to Jensen. "It's--it's okay. I understand. I don't want to pressure you. I just want to be with you. It's kind of sucking here, yeah, not gonna lie. But I just want to be with you, okay?"

They stood there a few more seconds, but then the moment was gone as the Silver Dragon crew noisily waved goodbye to Chris and Dani. They resettled themselves around their table and called for a round of beers. Jensen told them that he would see them in the morning, and not to stay up too late but get a good night's sleep. The first rings started at 9 a.m. the next morning.

He left, and Jared felt calmer, but tired. He refused a beer, just having some water instead. Three or four of the other men were talking about how hot Dani was. One guy in particular, someone Jared only knew as being in the advanced class, made several leering remarks about her, and wondered aloud about how it would be having a female instructor. Since he was above Jared's intermediate class, Jared only really knew him by name, Mark Pellegrino. Pellegrino was a little over 6 feet tall, with reddish blond hair and a scruffy, foxy face. His blue eyes glittered as he commented on Dani's looks and body. The guy's chauvinist attitude was really starting to piss Jared off.

"Hey, Mark, you might want to remember that "hot piece of ass", as you so fetchingly called her, is a fucking fourth degree black belt. I'd think that would make you want to keep a respectful tongue in your head," Jared said, his tone even but forceful. "I'm pretty sure those four white stripes mean that she can slice and dice you before you hit the mat."

A ripple of laughter followed Jared's words, and Mark glowered. "What's the matter, Padalecki, you going to shoot for that yourself? She's too much woman for a little boy like you. She needs a real man, someone who can really handle a spitfire like that."

Jared rolled his eyes. "No, Mark, I'm not 'shooting for her' myself. Just because I'm telling you to chill out doesn't mean I wanna 'hit that'. Women are not target practice."

Mark slugged down some beer and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "No? Maybe you'd like something like that long-haired faggot of a partner of hers instead? Is that it, Jared? You swing the other way?" His eyes were piercing as they stared at Jared, who found himself wondering how a simple "back off" had turned into an attack on himself.

"Yes, I'm gay, but that has nothing to do with it." Jared hadn't really meant to blurt that out, but Mark's antagonism had put his back up. "Get a grip, dude."

"Jesus, Pellegrino, put a lid on it," Matt chimed in. "Jared's right. She's not a fucktoy, she's a fourth degree black belt instructor and deserves respect. Besides, she can beat the crap outta you. C'mon, we're here at the tournament to have some fun--just freakin' relax!" Matt turned away from the table after his admonishment and slung his arm over Jared's shoulders. "Let's hit the hay, roomie! We need an early breakfast to fuel up for our matches!" He pulled on Jared and led him away from the table and the glowering Mark.

"Damn! What an asshole!" Matt said as they approached the elevator. He shook his head as he slipped his arm from Jared's shoulders.

"Seriously! I can't believe how that escalated! Do you know him at all? What a jerk!" Jared ran his hand through his hair. "That was just wacko!"

"Yeah, it was. I don't really know him at all, but I've certainly never seen him like that. I'd say, just stay out of his way, you know?"

Jared snorted. "I plan to, believe me!"

On to Chapter 6

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