i guess its time i crossed over to wordpress. been thinking about it for some time but had been too lazy to get it done. made the change cos wordpress has more functions. so finally, i've moved and yes i miss this blog already! i've been so accustomed to the name flowerhaven that taking on a new name is kinda weird! i've been using it for 6 years!!! but darn, someone took that name already! :( so ya i gonna forsake all familarity. maybe its good in a sense its gonna be a fresh new place, fresh new start!


so well... read me on strawberryamour.wordpress.com from today onwards! :)

posted by ser @ 2:52 AM   0 Comments

work
been feeling super unmotivated at work; just dont feel like working at all! had appraisal with my boss yest and i felt so lousy during the discussion becos i rated very low for my performance. when my boss asked me abt it, i didn't quite know how to explain it except to tell him i dunno what i did well at work cos no one really gave me positive feedback. i guess i really wanted to say i was discouraged at work, but i held back because i dunno what repercussions that may bring. i also did not tell him about the not so nice feedback i received about my work from another colleague. i think the colleague's feedback was really the key to why i felt so lousy about my work. yet i couldnt bring myself to say it. i guess that must have been the worst kind of thing u could ever do in an appraisal; to undermine yourself. yet i just couldnt say anything good or positive about my work. thats pretty depressing ah? and.. "people could see that" ...

:( :( :(


i'm bored staying in the visitors' centre. i long for the outdoor adventure. maybe the visitors' centre is my work. i dont see any open door. and i'm bored, unmotivated and discouraged. will i snap out of this? God pls help me in this time. i feel so stuck. the adventure beckons me!!!



us
i enjoy the times spent with you. it was memorable witnessing the 'historic moment' and experiencing it with you. i never knew the heavy discouragement and burden u've carried for so long bothered you so much. i never knew i could be so vulnerable before you. if you ask me to describe this relationship, i would say it had been and it still is a journey of faith. we do not know the hows, but we have a God who loves us. Let's continue to walk this journey with our eyes fixed on Him. :)

posted by ser @ 11:36 PM   1 Comments

by the grace of God, i finally completed and submitted all 5 SPMF (school pocket money fund) appplications! this was really by God's grace as i had alot of inertia, struggles and dreads just doing all the related paperwork and admin. i know i cannot drag them any longer but i just don't feel like doing them! so i asked God to help me that i'll somehow find the strength and motivation to do the work. and God answered my prayer! Praise the Lord! He is indeed my help in times of need! Thank you God! :)


i give thanks to God for this new home. there's really much to be grateful for. although this new place isn't as accessible as the previous one, it has its own pluses like.........
-more windy (clothes dry faster, better ventilation, and less perspiration!)
-new furniture! i love the sofa!
-no more altar!!!!! this is a BIG one! PTL!!!!!
-neighbours are nice! what a bonus!
-there are only 4 units on this level so there's much more privacy and quietness.
-mummy cooks more often now!!! yeay to yummy homecooked food! :)


from zero savings, i've accumulated 4 digits now in my savings account! that's really cool huh?!!! for a maths nut like me, and spontateous spendthrift for me to accumulate such savings is almost next to impossible. but thank God, i really did managed to save and set aside quite a bit. i've also somehow consciously managed to cut down my spending nowadays, although i spend quite frivoliously still. but but yeah now savings is becoming a habit for me! it's really like God is helping me manage my finances! super coool! :)


freedom to love and be loved in this relationship. this really sets me so free to love others. and God becomes so real and evident. the things you've provided for us, Lord how can we thank you enough? the love you've showered upon us have been so humbling and overwhelming. How will we walk this journey without You? dear Lord continue to lead us as we love. May You be glorified in all that we do.


opportunities to pray and minister. had the privilege to share with and encourage 2 of my sisters, and share with 1 brother some counseling advice. it is really an awesome privilege to be of use and share whatever the little experience and knowledge i have and see them being used by God to encourage and comfort others.


going to conduct a bgr workshop with Rach Choo later for the chinese church youths. Rach and i feel so unqualified, and there are so many others who are more qualified than us to do this, yet for some reason or another; we were arrowed and chosen! AND..........our command of the chinese language is so limited, and we will be speaking to many PRCs! however, rather than complain and whine, Rach and i chose to take on this challenge. pls pray for us if you're reading this anytime before 730pm today. we really covet your prayers. we want to make this workshop count for the youths who are attending, and hope that God will use whatever little we have to minister to His young. thank God for this opportunity to show his love and faithfulness in our relationships.


droplets of love. be showered and be reminded of Your greatest fan and lover. :)

posted by ser @ 3:14 PM   0 Comments

i wanna dream
of the day i'll meet You
then i'll finally see the One who loves me most
the love that made the greatest sacrifice
the sacrifice that made all the difference
it couldn't be anyone else but You
You gave me Yourself
It was the best i could ever have


slowly but surely as i know You
i love you more
i pray i'll never leave You
like how You'll never leave me
i pray i'll always stay close to You
like how You are always with me
i pray i'll follow you till the very end
like how You promise to be with me till the end of age


i wanna dream
of the days you took me places
high and beyond my wildest imagination
opportunities upon opportunities
soaring above what i could do


i wanna dream
of going places with You
Lord take me where you'll have me
No where without You
Anywhere with You
I'll follow You
I'm dreaming of You.

posted by ser @ 2:33 AM   0 Comments

have you ever been on a rollercoaster? esp those that makes your head spin and legs swing?


its such a thrill!


although i am not a fan of rollercoaster rides cos of their stomach churning abilities, i appreciate the adventure and excitment of riding on one! it makes one feel more alive and in touch with all the senses! yes it makes you scream and cringe and spin but it also makes you excited and happy!


and those are the feelings i'm missing nowadays. It is not that i am unhappy. it is that i am bored and life is getting too routine!!!!!!! I miss the adventures with God! Isn't there more to life than eating, sleeping, make merry, shopping, studying and working? Like Peter, i desire to walk on the water!


maybe i just miss going for mission trips! my last was to EA in Nov 08.


i miss the times of depending fully and solely on the power of the Holy Spirit
i miss the times of discovering more about God
i miss listening to the small still voice of God
i miss the times of intense intercession and prayer
i miss being in lack and seeing God provide (it sounds unbelievable but its true!!)
i miss spending extended time just enjoying the Lord's presence doing nothing


i think life is either an adventure or nothing at all.


take me Lord to where you'll have me soar!

posted by ser @ 7:26 PM   0 Comments

i've moved into my new home. still getting used to it. still got lots to unpack. :( dislike especially the longer travelling route to work and any other place. this means i have to wake up earlier and i'm late more often! :( and and... the waiting time for my buses are sooooooo long. today i waited 15mins for one bus, then another 15 mins for the next. sooooo long! really dread the travelling.


sg is super HOT nowadays huh?


we're together again. :) i'm glad i finally made the decision and commitment. God is good!


attended 2 wakes this week. one was Matt's aunt, the other was my boss's grandfather. always after attending wakes, i always leave with a somber reminder of the transient nature of life and the definition of a well-lived life. how do we prepare for death when we don't know when it'll come to us?


i am awed by Matt's aunt last words; "I know where i am going. Don't worry about me. We'll see each other again."


what courage, what faith!!!


the need for prayer is so great. very often nowadays, someone we know or love is not feeling well. everyday we face many challenges and decisions. perhaps we know many people who need God in their lives. we struggle with various temptations. we are distracted in many ways in our walk with God. we face difficult situations which seem beyond us. we lose our direction and purpose in the midst of doing. we are tired. we are weary. we fear. we worry.


recently, i sense an increasing burden to pray and enter the throne room of God to lay before Him all things that are upon my heart.


i like what Ps Edmund Chan says in his book Growing Deep in God about prayer;


"Prayer brings us home to God."





have you been home lately?

posted by ser @ 12:14 AM   0 Comments

"This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith." - 1 John 5:3-4



how many times have we said we love the Lord but never obeyed Him? God defines what loving Him to Him means. To God, He knows we love Him when we obey Him.



"Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, "But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?" Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching.(bold mine) My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me. " -John 14:22-24



"If you love me, you will obey what I command." -John 14:15


not sure why i am reminded of this tonight. maybe i'm evaluating my walk with God..have i been obedient to God ? Or am i just "loving" the Lord?


O Lord, i want to love you by obeying You.

posted by ser @ 1:18 AM   0 Comments