I realise I'm more tired after exams than before it.

Before exams I'm mentally tired, but after exams I'm physically tired. It's a good feeling, being tired after exams. :P We here at IMU have established a routine where we just simply have to go out after an exam. It's akin to closure. As I walk the malls everything seems to be so far away. The exams, the endless formulae to remember, the slight nervousness unsure if I will do well (yeah, after 13 years of sitting for exams I still have it- I'm so ashamed :( )..... Everything just disappears. And when I come back all tired and worn out, my mind has successfully stored any memories of the exam period in the past. And I busy myself with washing up and then looking my purchases over. =P

Statistics has come to a close.

My second semester at IMU has come to an end.

As I reflect on this semester, I ask myself what have I learned in this 14 weeks.
- Nothing. I learned my statistics in a week- last week. I still have no idea what Physiology II is about up till now. One comforting thought would be I did a research paper (a very basic one) on cardiac failure. And I put in quite a lot of effort to actually understand the causes and effects of it, i.e the aetiology and pathophysiology. =P However, the research paper only took up 1 week all in all. Foundation pharmacy I have NO IDEA what is going on whatsoever. Simply because we don't have an exam on it. Anyway, most of it is crap about the pharmacist's role in healthcare. Next would be BM and English classes. English class was quite fun. It comes as a shock that I actually learned the most in English class! I'm proud to announce that I have a 100% attendance rate and I pay the most attention in English class. BM class was a total waste of time and money for those who pay their own tuition fees. But I am glad we managed to come up with a short but fun sketch on 'SEPET'. It was so much fun! And guess how long we spent on preparing the sketch? A mere 2-hour discussion (I think less than that) and the morning right before our presentation. Oh yeah, we spent some time preparing the slideshow but it was just about that.

And so, all in all, what have I accomplished in my second semester of university life?

I conclude: Almost nothing.



I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting nowhere in life. I told my housemate today that I find myself deteriorating as I get older. Life is a pursuit of 'happyness'. Pardon the pun if you haven't watched the movie. :P Am I getting any closer to it or am I moving further and further away from it?


I know life always gets better with a positive attitude and all it takes is a positive attitude to move me in the right direction.
But I'm not always up to it. I realise trying to be think positive is like wearing a mask. Your refusing to acknowledge what your heart actually feels doesn't mean the thoughts will go away. They just remain there, lurking in the dark recesses of the mind where you dare not venture, and will appear to haunt you at your most vulnerable moment.

Accident

The funniest and scariest thing happened to me today.

I was going to fix my cupboard which had a gap between the board at the back and the board at the side. The gap was growing each day because the two boards were just held together by staples (the cheats!) and a staple at the part in question had loosened. Well, I noticed the gap last week, went and bought elephant glue and decided to apply my KH skills. I planned to use thumbtacks to close the gap, but kiamsiap me decided at carrefour that it just didn't make sense for me to buy a boxful of thumbtacks when I just needed one. So I implemented action plan no. 2. I went scouting for extra thumbtacks on the noticeboards in IMU. My justification was 'IMU so rich, take one or two thumbtack so what ar?'. =P So I happily plucked 2 thumbtacks off the noticeboard- a bit rusty, but usable nonetheless.

And then this morning I decided to fix my cupboard. Sat on my study desk which is next to my cupboard to test if the position was comfortable to commence my task. The height of the gap was just right from my sitting position. Got off the table and took out the 2 thumbtacks and put them on the table. Next, I pushed my cupboard slightly away from the wall so I had room to work in. Satisfied, I conveniently sat on the table again. And then. I felt something. Heard something.
I sat on the thumbtack!


SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT


I immediately checked my butt in the mirror. It didn't hurt but I saw a needle-prick sized hole which had a tiny drop of blood which I tried to squeeze out. It is comical I tell you, to try to check your butt in the mirror. But the damn thumbtack was rusty!
So how? Will I die? (typical kiasi response from me) But I couldn't help laughing at the comedy of the situation.

Dad said he wouldn't panic and rush to the clinic if it was him. It should just a slight prick cos I hardly felt anything. I should watch out if I come down with fever though. So I decided not to be so kiasi.

I didn't have an alcohol swab, so I used some Brandy instead and applied antiseptic cream. Then Cyn very kindly helped me nail my cupboard (the damn thumbtack wasn't long enough) and also survey the damage done to my butt because it's rather difficult to see for myself.

The wound is a bit swollen but hopefully I'll be alright. There is an antidote for tetanus anyway right?

Am keeping my fingers crossed...

Thank you!

There are really really nice people out there in this place we call the world.

I would like to say a big thank you to the kind souls who helped in my search for the sheet music and mp3 of the piano music from 'into thin air'. You know who you are. =)

Some were my friends, some were people I hardly knew, and some were total strangers! And they gladly shared what they had with me. What they didn't have they went the extra mile to look for. For me. I'm so touched by their generosity and kindness. Honestly I don't know if I could do the same for others. But I'm inspired now to spread the love I've been taught by these people. :)

Yes, I finally own the piano score of the exact piece of music played by Kong Fai in the drama, and the mp3 file and also the midi musicbox type. ^_^_^_^_^_^_^

There's another lesson I've learned though. That is to not be afraid to ask. No venture no gain. Ask, and you shall receive. Previously I was quite hesitant to mail those from the message boards who have the score because I was convinced they would have received plenty of similiar requests and would be so pissed off to receive yet another one. But after fruitless searches I thought what the heck and just sent a few requests out. And tada! These people actually responded immediately in the span of just 1-2 days! And the elusive piano score which couldn't be found anywhere on the net- not even by Spy Agent 013 :P, was finally obtained from Winnie Cheng. She actually paid for it to be written by a professional. That's why you don't see it posted everywhere, she only sends it to those who make the effort to mail her. And those who believe in her generosity.

I am so so touched by everyone's generosity. I think I already said it, but yes I am very touched. Somehow, somewhere along the path of my life I lost a part of my goodness. I hate to admit it but I have substantial amounts of 'kiasu, kiasi and kiamsiap' in me.

I must spread the love spread the love spread the love.
If anyone wants the piano score or mp3 or midi file please let me know. As a sign of respect for Winnie, I'll pass along her email address so you can contact her personally to get those which belong to her. From not having anything at all I suddenly had 4 versions of the piano score and 3 versioins of the sould clip overnight. LOL.

Love All, Serve All. That is the way to God.

Peace! ^_^

LOVE

This is LOVE.

Pure LOVE.

:)

In case anyone still doesn't know it's the piano music Kong Fai played in the tvb drama 'into thin air'. I fell in love with it the first time I heard it. It's adapted from the theme song 实情 by Bernice Liu but not exactly the same. The piano music does not have the main melody of the song.

After hours of frantic and hair-pulling searches I finally found it. I tend to get obsessed with things once I'm started but my unhealthy obsessions are another story for another post.

*smile*

Next thing to find would be the piano score for it. The original piano score Kong Fai played in the drama. It can also be played as a duet- in the drama Kong Fai and his mother played it together sometimes.

More readily available would be piano scores of the theme song 实情. It's also quite nice but of course far from the original piano music. Then again maybe I should just settle for the theme song which is easier to play. Finding the original score would be almost impossible I think- most of the links I encountered in my endless searches were either dead or functionless, not to mention really difficult to play.

And I desperately want to have the current love of my life in my possession. If anyone knows of any sneaky way to download youtube vids please tell me. Better still, if anyone actually FINDS the mp3 version of this wonderful piece of music please let me know.

Now tell me if that wasn't love itself.

Please say you feel the same about this piece of music. I can't imagine anyone not falling in love with it. Then again maybe it's because I watched the drama and it kind of breathed life and feelings into the music.

:)

I hate myself

I'm so hating myself today.



Queen of procrastination! Good-for-nothing lazy bum! Easily-tempted spineless mortal! slow-brained zombie!

I hate you!!

Geram

My brows are knitted and my forehead is creased into a frown. My jaws are clenched. Every muscle of my body is tense.

I'm so highly strung I'm going to snap.

So geram!!!!


I thought the internet was supposed to be paradise where all promises could be fulfilled. Make your wish and it will be granted. Immediately.

:( :( :( :( :( :/ :/ :/ :/


Piano music from tvb drama 'into thin air'!!
WHERE ARE YOU????????????????????????????????

I love you so............. Please don't hide from me.....

[转贴]北极星

你的心中，有一顆北極星嗎？
你曾經在你的愛情中迷失方向嗎？
如果你怕迷失，那你一定要為自己找到生命中的北極星，
那只有一顆，是你中心獨一無二的， 沒人能取代他的。


在你哭泣時，他會將你臉上的淚水擦去，
並告訴你，別哭泣，在你的臉上， 不適合出現淚水。
在你無聊時， 他可以放下身旁所有的事務，
陪你談天、陪你歡笑、陪你一整天， 並把時間遺棄掉。
在你失意時，他會在身旁鼓勵你、 安慰你，
永遠不會虧損你。
在你不開心時，他會逗你， 直到你露出你真正的笑容為止， 並陪在你身邊。


不管你發生了什麼事， 他都會在你最需要人陪時，
出現在你的面前， 無怨無悔地守護在你身旁、 無怨無悔地為你傻傻的付出。


最重要的是，當你迷失方向時，
他可永遠地在你找得到他的地方等著你，
因為北極星永遠都不會改變他的位子，
不管春、夏、秋、冬，
他都會永遠地停留在同一個地方， 同一個定點為你閃耀，為你發光。


你找到了嗎？
或許，他就在你身旁，你卻沒察覺到；
或許，他曾和你擦肩而過，你卻不知道；
或許，他早就在你的心中， 你卻還沒給他一個定位。


想想吧！北極星是很難找到的，
你得用心去觀察去留意，
不然， 你心中的夜空只能擁有過無數的流星。


抬頭看看吧！
你的北極星現在那裡，
是不是早在等你去將他放進你的心裡。




太喜欢了，只得从你那边偷过来。嘻！多谢leo..

Raya HOLS

I'm addicted to the internet. I realise my night is not complete if I don't get online. I've kind of established a bedtime routine where I log on msn, chat a bit, kacau people for my own selfish pleasure, read a few blogs, check friendster bulletins, check mail, surf aimlessly, check out people's friendster profiles (it's a lot of entertainment, I actually laughed till I cried), then read more blogs again. Now that I'm home with a meagre 36kbps timenet connection which costs a bomb on my telephone bill, I still can't break the habit.

I am a creature of habit and it's not a good thing. From all aspects.


Here's a bit on how I spent my raya hols. Mum made popia, yumyumyum!!! And by that I mean REAL popia, not those pitifully thin and tasteless ones you get outside. I ate a total of 9 rolls altogether. *happy happy happy!*





Here are the pics

First, lay the popia skin on a flat plate. Next, spread a THICK layer of sweet sauce on one side followed by chilli and garlic. Notice that in the pic I spread everything on BOTH sides. Greedy greedy me, ended up crying my way through the popia. The garlic was so hot! :P

Next would be lettuce, and then the popia filling goes on the lettuce. Chopped sengkuang and long beans and carrot cooked with lots of prawns. :P MMmmmm...

Sprinkle on some crabmeat, and fried garlic and also beansprouts if you want but no thank you, I hate beansprouts.

Lastly, fold everything up. I got to be very careful, my popias are always very fat. Hehe.

There you have it! A delicious, finger-licking, lip-smacking, fat and juicy popia!!

MMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMm

Enough about food. I'm on vegetarian diet today for the 'nine emperor's festival' so I shouldn't tempt myself too much.

Hols mean stuffing myself with drama series. And the latest one I'm watching is this tvb drama 'tangxin feng bao'. Very very nice. :P

Also managed to go cut and rebond my hair. After my haircut I looked like a mop. A very messy mop. So I went to rebond. After rebonding I looked like an atap house.

I give up.

I went to 2 different saloons to do my hair. Went to RED2 for my haircut first. The service was good, hairdresser was very friendly, very good at making conversation, and very clever at trying to get me to part with my money by coaxing me to try dyeing my hair, or to do treatment or rebonding. It sounds funny but I actually felt like some rich 'tai tai' with this pretty boy making conversation to me and obviously trying to please me, while coaxing me to part with my money. Seriously.

It wasn't such a bad feeling. =P I pay what, so might as well sit back and enjoy having someone to serve and please me lo. Some more he makes good eye candy. =P

To save RM68, I drove straight to Marie's after RED2 to rebond my hair. Waited for 1 hour, sat through the process for 4 hours. Tedious, tiring, boring, and painful. Well, you get what you pay for. When I was at RED2 there was this girl who was perming her hair. And her hairdresser (pretty boy no.2) considerately sat next to her and entertained her throughout her long wait for her perm to set. I miss being entertained by my pretty boy. *pout*

So I spent a whole afternoon and evening on my hair. And ended up looking at an atap house.

Miss atap house went to help sell vegetarian food for the 'nine emperor's festival' today. Will be going to help tomorrow also. All proceeds go to charity. If there were vegetarian food as nice as this everyday, I would gladly turn vegetarian. =P

my love will get you home

If you wander off too far,
my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star,
my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home.

Boy,
my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blind your eyes,
my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride,
my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home.

Boy,
my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed,
my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame,
my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home.

Boy,
my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me,
my love will get you home.

Boy,
my love will get you home.
Boy,
my love will get you home.


~ Christina Glass

I'm scared

I'm scared. Right now even when I'm typing this. I'm guessing it must be the cumulative effect of everything that happened tonight. And if you're thinking of all possible scary and dangerous encounters that could freak me out, think again. What exactly happened was that I went to watch a movie. Period.

LOL.

We watched 'Lust, caution' by Tony Leung, Tang Wei (just coined her name in english spelling so most probably it's wrong- don't kill me if you're a fan of hers). It was a really good movie, very intense and thought-provoking. That kind where there's minimal dialogue, lots of eye contact (and I mean like A LOT) and subtle facial expressions. My guess is that the characters must actually be highly skilled in telepathy to be able to understand the nuances in their conversation with each other! Anyway, me here has no telepathic skills whatsoever so the most I could do was to only make wild guesses at the 'isi tersirat' which is embedded in virtually EVERY conversation. Or more appropriately every encounter of the characters with each other.

I can sense undercurrents beneath the smooth surface of polite conversation, the atmosphere seems to be charged with intensity, but exactly with what kind of emotions that I'm not sure. One can only guess so much. Were Tang Wei's furtive glances actually flirtations? And Tony Leung's expressions were so impenetrable. I had not a clue to what was on his mind most of the time. To me, his expressions are all the same but filled with an intensity which I have no idea for what. But SW said she could tell the difference in his expressions, so maybe I'm just blurr. Oh, and I was only enlightened after the movie about his look of arousal when Tang Wei was removing her stockings. It seems only I didn't notice.

Maybe it's because I'm not a fan of Tony Leung. I agree he's charismatic, but somehow I don't feel his magnetism. Different wavelength. Maybe if Andy Lau were casted....... Hmmm.........=P

Anyway, our conclusion after the movie was that Lust, Caution is 85% on Lust. Now when I think about it, Caution too. Which is actually it's title la. Duh.

BDSM scene included also. =P But of course the later parts were censored, but since it's Malaysia I feel lucky even that they showed Tony Leung tearing off Tang Wei's skirt, and also tying her hands with his belt. Bondage all right!

Altogether, Tang Wei tries to communicate 'lust and caution' through her flitting glances (Her eyes are normally darting here and there) and Tony Leung settles for his usual 'penetrating stare'(very intense, but I don't feel the chemistry cos different wavelength; unlike someone =P).

I have this nagging suspicion that come whatever scene, the actors just apply the same formula: TangWei- look intensely at the person, then look away. Give theMona lisa smile; I know something sneaky you don't. Nyeeehehehe..
Tony Leung: Stare, stare and continue to stare some more, and look so intense that his eyeballs will fall out anytime. Hahaha.

---------------------------------------------------

But I digress. A lot. =P

How did watching a movie freak me out so much that I'm sitting here at 2.33am typing this instead of working on my English to BM translation of a newspaper article or doing what my body is telling me to- sleep.

Yeah, I never realised blogging was so therapeutic. I've totally got over my fear.

Well you see, I'm a goody-two-shoes kind of girl. The boring type you're saying? Hey, I heard that! It's not that I haven't been out late before, I used to come back from my friend's unit alone at 12 something or 1 without any qualms at all during the first half of my first semester. But Mum was worried. And kept telling me not to go out so late. Which is perfectly logical and sound advice. But somehow her fear seemed to seep a little at a time into my system. And so Mum called when I came back. She couldn't sleep without the knowledge that I was safely back at home. And then she started telling me about the stories in the papers, how KL is not a safe place, how can you go out till so late? Have to come up to the lift at night. Only you and Cynthia only, so dangerous............etc etc etc.

And so I was freaked out. Even in the safety of my room. Scared. Kept looking over my shoulder. I had this feeling that something bad was going to happen. Looked underneath my bed. Locked the door. Closed the windows and turned on air-con to feel safer. Come to think of it only Superman could have flown in through my window on the 5th floor!

Oh and it didn't help matters that the guys started telling us about this scary movie they watched before on the way back. And also the horror movie trailer before my movie. I strongly feel that people who PAY to watch a movie should not be forced to watch clips of other genres they didn't sign up for. Same goes with horror movie trailers on TV. I feel it's terribly unfair that we're being forced to watch clips which may be emotionally disturbing.



Now that I'm not scared anymore, I shall sleep. =)
Blogging is therapy indeed!!!!

SEPET

That's the title of my all-time favourite love story, but it also turned out to be a horrific experience.

One fine morning, I woke up to find my eyes swollen. Oedema of the eye maybe? And then I looked into the mirror, only to find that I became SEPET!

Overnight.

Just like that.

S-E-P-E-T


Not that kind where the crease of the double eyelid is rather crumpled and can't fold properly, and also not that kind where triple or quadruple creases appear.


Blink.

Still the same.

Blink Blink.

No difference.

BLINK! BLINK! BLINK!


This was a full-blown episode of sepet-ness.

I've always had this paranoia that dysfunctional double eyelids due to whatever activities the night before may lead to a PERMANENT loss of the crease.

Before anyone brushes me off as a paranoid chicken little, I have evidence in the form of first-hand observation. My brother.

For about 13 years of his life, he had double eyelids.

Then one fine morning, he woke up to a crumpled crease on his left eye. The crease had split halfway, so that one half of the crease could not join up with the other half, resulting in a crumpled fold.

Now this happens quite often, and the crumpled crease is supposed to even itself out as the day progresses. And so I was totally unprepared when his double eyelid just disappeared!!!

Poooof!


Now you see, now you don't.

And so my brother has one eye slightly smaller than the other ever since that fateful day.


So you see, my paranoia is very well justified.

Anyway, back to my story.


I wasn't hit by a panic attack. Which is rather odd come to think of it, I guess I didn't really care cos my bro's episode seemed such a long time ago, and also cos I was feeling really crappy so it was just another wonderful thing to happen to my wonderful life.

I looked weird, so much so that I couldn't recognise my eye. Haha.



I remained completely sepet that morning.
Small slight creases appeared at opposite ends in the afternoon. But they were miles apart and so couldn't join up.
Next morning the creases elongated, but one was higher than the other, and so they still couldn't merge.

And finally at night, under the twinkling starlight(shimmering eyeshadow lar), they met.

And lived happily ever after.....


~THE END~


I hope fairytale endings last forever... Am keeping my fingers crossed.


I like sepet, I think small eyes are cute. But not on myself.. it just looks WRONG.
And my field of vision was somewhat diminished too during those 2 days. Seriously.



ps: would dearly love to post pics of my sepet eye, but it doesn't seem to work.... will try again next time.

ps2: posted pics already!

Me, an apple?

------------------Girls---------------------------
are like apples-------
------on trees.The best ones-----
-----are at the top of the tree.---
-----The boys dont want to reach-----
for the good ones because they--
-r afraid of falling and getting hurt.
--Instead,they get the rotten apples-
from the ground that arent as good,
but easy. So the apples up top think
something wrong w/ them when in
-reality they're amazing. They just--
---have to wait for the right boy to
----come along, the one who's-
-----------brave enough to------
--------------climb all-----------
-------------the way------------
----------to the top--------
-------------of the tree---------


I got the above excerpt from Friendster while browsing aimlessly through people's profiles. :P
Girls = apples.
Hmm.. =P

No doubt the person or persons who created that comment were trying to make the yet unplucked 'apples' feel better, and also justify why they are still on the shelf, or branch in this case.

But it seems more like a case of sour grapes mentality to me. LOL.
Telling yourself that 'I'm the prized apple and the rest are just rotten apples.'
Wouldn't the prized apples be the ones to be plucked first?
Who would settle for rotten apples anyway?
Or rather, the so-called prized apples just decided to stick on a 'royal gala' sticker and tada! they instantly elevated their status, just so to justify why they're still hanging on the branch.

=P



Disclaimer:
My opinions above have nothing whatsoever to do with my status. All views have been based subjectively from a third person's point of view. =P