Once again, I'm blogging at kfc puduraya.


I missed my bus. O_o

I was *pinches fingers in air* THAT close to making it.

The bus had not even made it out of the underground. A few bus drivers helped me call the driver of the bus I was supposed to be on. Then I chased the bus. X_X
It was quite exasperating. I could see the bus. I thought it would stop by the roadside after receiving the distress call from the other bus drivers. But it didn't.
The bus was forced to stop at the traffic lights. It looked a near distance enough but it certainly took me some time to cover it. I saw the bus. Then it was gone. Then there it was again. Then poof! Felt a bit like the chipsmore advert 'now you see, now you don't! nyenyenyenyenye~'


So here I am munching my egg wrap and sipping 7Up while waiting for my bus at 11.30am.

And why oh why did this happen?
Cos yours truly could not wake up in time.

PK oh PK

Pharmacokinetics tutorial 2 happened today.

Multiple dosing case examples were discussed first.
The whole lecture theatre was in total silence. The only sound to be heard was the ink marker squeaking against the white board surface as a selected student did the workings of each question on the board. Dr Ignacio stood close-by keeping watch. It was eerie.


Case 1 workshop questions came next.
Someone went up to do the questions.
I copied and tried to process it all with my puny little mind.
Dr. Ignacio explained.
I channelled all my brainpower to comprehend.
It was like walking tight-rope. One slip, one lapse of concentration and I would be lost; in the deep dark jungle of tangled and twisty PK equations; never to be found again.

Time was running out. We sped through case 2 workshop questions.
I wanted to cry.

And then, it was over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My subconscious mind has been conditioned to associate PK with Dr. Ignacio.
PK = Dr Ignacio
Dr Ignacio = PK
Now I get an eerie feeling of foreboding, of impending doom, whenever I see him.

Daily grindings

Thursday:
Attended a dialogue hosted through the International Peace Foundation under their BRIDGES programme which is a series of dialogues to build bridges for peace. It was organised by the Perdana Leadership Foundation at the Perbadanan Putrajaya building. I wanted to go so much! The sole reason being Dr Mahathir- the legend I grew up with; the one and only prime minister I knew and loved for the first seventeen years of my life.

Yes, he was there. And better still, he was one of the speakers too! The other speaker was Dr. Robert Fry Engle III (I'm fascinated that he's the THIRD Engle of his lineage, is he of royal descent?) who was the 2003 Nobel Laureate for Economics. Raja Nazrin Crown Prince of Perak was there too. Dr. M was accompanied by his wife. :)

As expected, Dr M's speech was nothing short of interesting and daring and unorthodox. Plus he wore his trademark suit which I like. Not the normal coat over shirt and tie, this is.... button-up-all-the-way grey suit with a raised collar. There's a name for it but I forgot. Anyway I like him in that suit. I am so shallow.

We didn't manage to take a picture with him. We were loitering for the longest time around the VIP exit hoping to catch a glimpse of the VIPs. Then Cyn who had gone down to wait because she wasn't a star-struck silly girl in love with the prime minister (i mean 'ex', but he will forever be my favourite prime minister :) ) called and said that he had gone down by the lift and was now eating his buffet spread happily. In the end, she was the one who saw him up-close although she doesn't give two hoots about it. Life is just not fair like that.

When we were coming down the escalator, I saw it raining in the lobby. LITERALLY. It wasn't dripping water, the ceiling was pouring water. I was overcome with acute embarassment; embarassment for my country. This was Putrajaya, the country's policy-making capital, furthermore we were in the Perbadanan Putrajaya building. This was an event graced by a Crown Prince and Tuns, with various other foreign dignitaries in attendance. I am that patriotic I'm so touched by my patriotism.

It was a long day. But I was happy because I got to see Dr M and hear him speak. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday

Went to PC fair at klcc with friends. I don't tolerate crowds and noise well. Took some 100plus when I started to feel some faintness. I bought a webcam!- who has skype let me know- and a creative zen stone plus mp3 player. :):):):):):):)
I must be the only person left on earth who does not yet own an mp3 player up to now. Bought a 4gb pendrive for rm25, and several others for friends. Since when did pendrives get so cheap I still remember speeding to alor star mall to reserve my 1gb pendrive cos there was a promotion at rm60.

Cyn and I were about to go for a drink in klcc mall cos we finished early. I was itching to get my sticky hands on my new purchases. haha. Then B called for us to escort him to withdraw money from the ATM. He wanted to buy a laptop. That's a lot of money to withdraw. Fui. so cyn and I played escorts to 2 guys for the rest of the day. hahaha.

Altogether 4 laptops were bought that day. I tell u I was so jealous! The asus laptop was oh so pretty! sleek shiny black. 250gb of hard disc space, 4gb RAM, and the new (or newest) intel core 2 duo processor. And it was a buy 1 free 10 purchase. buy a laptop and u get 10 freebies, including a mouse, a laptop backpack, a laptop sling bag, headset, and i forgot what's more. all for the price of RM3300. My poor lappie has a pitiful 80gb hard disc and 1gb RAM. sigh. And it cost me more. So I came back and cleaned my lappie just to spruce it up a bit. Never mind lappie I still love you. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday

Recycling project. Slept really late the day before cos was busy fiddling and trying out new devices. As usual, was 5 minutes late. Amount of trash collected was quite good, previous rounds were better though.

Tried to nap in the evening. Evening naps give me the most unpleasant dreams. The sky turns dark so I guess I get afraid. I dreamt I did something wrong but it was not intentional and the person bulllied me then I cried. hahahaha. A major cry. It felt nice. My theory is that the previous days were too stressful and tiring so it's my body's way of releasing all the pent-up stress. Works really well I must say.

It's really late. Narrating my daily grindings are time-consuming and boring. Tmt see what I do to make you happy. hahaha.

我失恋了

我失恋了。

刚才接到一个晴天霹雳的消息，室友告诉我，刘德华要结婚了。

刚开始真得很难以置信，真的很为他感到高兴。

昨天，和室友无意间谈起偶像时，我说，初中迷恋刘德华时，他那么老还没结婚，我那时
还会替他担心。室友笑我。可是我希望他快乐嘛。

还记得初中二喜欢他，喜欢到心会痛。那时我才知道，原来‘心痛’时心真的会痛。
我清晰的记得，那天晚上，我写了一篇关于他的日记。我心痛我像沙漠里的一粒小沙子
，那么渺小，那么微不足道，而他是那么的遥远。他怎么可能知道我的存在呢？我这一
生，有机会见到他吗？心真的好痛。

然后，我就决定要成为一个很成功很有成就的人。临睡前，我想像着很多年以后，我成
功了，终于有机会见到他了，我告诉他我一直以来都喜欢他。

我就是迷恋他嘛。他很吸引我。我喜欢他唱歌的嗓子。


室友告诉我他要结婚时，我雀跃万分，‘真的吗？真的吗？oh my god!oh my god!' 乱乱喊。
不知道为什么这么兴奋，很为他开心。

后来我想到我那么迷恋他，才觉得他结婚了，我就是失恋了。
是有一点点失落啦，就是那么一点点啦。
我没机会了。

我说既然失恋就要唱失恋的歌。

我唱：找钥匙 by 张信哲

听说我爱的人，最近定了婚，
美丽的三月天里忽然， 我觉得冷。
想说两句，祝福的话来支撑，
别管了，有情绪自己吞。

觉得不够，跑去百度search ‘爱人结婚了，新娘不是我’。

我唱 (广东）： 郑少秋- 爱人结婚了

痛心的典礼爱人结婚了
卿的羽衫烟盖雾绕
花放一样俏今天以后
情如逝水卿依身欢笑
啊....啊......一切难料
虽有旧情未忘
人是嫁了情若烟消
我祝福她一世欢笑





我是女的，所以不太一样。
我又再找，就给我找到一个很合适的歌。

我唱： 爱人结婚了，新娘不是我 by 林淑娟

「愛人結婚了，新娘不是我。　
　　今晚高朋滿座，心酸陪我獨坐，往事靜靜走過，未來只剩沉默。

　　看著你們卿卿我我，我卻徬徨不知所措，甜蜜回憶變得苦澀，我還有什麼話好說。

　　愛人結婚了，新娘不是我。他給你快樂，比我更多。

　　愛人結婚了，新娘不是我。舊情如火，燒得我，好難過。

　　（白）愛人結婚了，新娘不是我。

　　你給的情花，怎麼結苦果？唉！當愛情走過，我學會了寂寞。」

http://bz.5sing.com/103481.html
or
http://box.zhangmen.baidu.com/m?
gate=1&ct=134217728&tn=baidumt,081gx%2063三步%20林淑娟%20爱人结婚
了%20新娘不是我
&word=mp3,http://www.qgjywq.com/cdrm888/081gx/Z2X7Mefz2NvyCP0b8
yDY7uHg-~~yF~Ih8v1fBPf6Jurs~PoCB9fuOA$$.mp3,,[%C1%D6%CA%
E7%BE%EA+%B0%AE%C8%CB%BD%E1%BB%E9%C1%CB]
&si=;;;;0;;0&lm=16777216&mtid=1&d=4


我觉得自己很好笑。

不是真的伤心啦，我是觉得我喜欢他这么久，将近十年了，他要结婚了我必须要纪念我
的失恋。

我祝福他，

永远幸福快乐。

衷心祝福他。

The moon smiles tonight

嫦娥的笑容

The moon smiles tonight.

I was strolling back to the apartment after getting my dinner around 8.30pm, all fuzzy woozy inside after my nap. At the foot of the stairs leading to Vista B tower's carpark, I turned and saw the most beautiful moon ever.

It was a perfect arch, a slender soft glow in the sky.

The waxing crescent was facing upwards to form a 下弦月.

It was beautiful. The most amazing thing was there were two stars above the moon arch. The star on the left was exceptionally large and shining very very brightly. So much so for a while there the little skeptic in me frowned at it sternly, doubting its authenticity as a star- I thought it must be a satellite or lights from a passing airplane. The star on right was more demure- smaller and with a paler, gentler glow.

I stood gazing for a while. They were just about at the height of the apartment roof. And so close that if I run a bit I would reach them.

When I looked out my room window later, the moon arch and stars have moved away. They are high up in the sky now.

Later, Tmt told me it was the moon goddess' smile.

And so tonight the moon goddess smiled at me and I smiled back. :)



ps: I goggled the phenomena and found out it was indeed a celestial treat to have 2 celestial objects converging so closely together, and cozying up to the moon too! The too large and shiny to be authentic star was unauthentic after all- it was the planet Venus, and the other Jupiter.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/11/081125-venus-jupiter-conjunction.html

The celestial tête-à-tête party looked something like that:

Twilight

I have a confession to make. I stalk blogs, I live other people's lives. Sometimes so much so I forget to live mine.

Tomorrow marks the end of my second week in semester 5. I officially dislike pharmacokinetics. Resolutions of keeping abreast in lectures have unfortunately not been kept. I'm tired and the thought of having to digest all those equations puts me off.

Went to watch Twilight in the Gardens today. I enjoyed the book immensely- it's one of those stories which draws you into it; you lose yourself, you feel each printed word as what it's meant to be: 'fun' smiles cheekily at you, 'shy' steals a furtive glance and offers a hesitating half-smile, 'cold' and 'eerie' look both uncanny and creepy, and 'anger', is red. It's always red for me. White sometimes, if it's cold and steely. If you get what I mean, that is.

Anyway, it was somewhat a slap to my face when the movie exposed whatever thoughts and emotions I entertained while reading the book to be totally corny! Some scenes which were especially poignant to me when I read it, alas, I found to be totally comical and oh so corny I had to laugh (somewhat ashamedly at my own gullibility- is there such a word- for actually drinking it all up in the first place). I am slightly mortified that I have such corniness lurking within me. But it is nice to entertain such thoughts once in a while, it's a luxury I should hold on to. A world where simple girls have names like Isabella Swan and boys are named Edward Cullen. Where a dorky girl of seventeen with no motor coordination skills can fall 'unconditionally and irrevocably in love' with a vampire.

Now that my room is dark and I'm alone past midnight, I recall scenes from the film and they don't seem as bad as I felt they were in the cinema hall. Some things are best left partially hidden in the recesses of the mind. To have it on full-screen display blatantly, is not something I will willingly admit to.

dfdf

Blog-hopping, listening to songs, facebook-ing, tv-ing.
That's my night.

Mr. Sandman,
What takes you so long tonight?
Does the rain deter you?
Have you left me out of your list?
I need you..

sem 5 starts

I'm back to life at vista. A life where I make or find my own food, try not to starve, buy my own toilet paper, and scrub my own toilet floor.

It is quiet. Peacefully quiet. The construction going on right outside my window is halted because today is Sunday. Back at home I wake up to Lite FM blaring from the stereo set in the dining room. And the sound of water trickling noisily into the tub in the bathroom. I plop myself into the cushioned chair in the dining area and open the NST. I always end my reading session with their daily dose of 'baby blues' which I've been following loyally for over maybe 10 years. I suspect it's the familiarity that draws me it; their anecdotes on family and baby life never fail to put a smile on my face.

I can't say I miss Lite FM though. Can't stand half of their songs.

I need to go make my lunch. Back to tuna and pasta it is. :)

5 freaking long hours,
A sore butt, aching back,
and a fried scalp later,

I now have curls on my head.

Hairdresser lied to me that it would take 2 to 3 hours. Instead, I sat for a FREAKING 5 HOURS.
I regretted it barely into one hour of the process.
Me wanna die liao. Do you understand the helplessness I felt while sitting there incapable of moving?

I had several issues to deal with:

1. 'Sayang' my money. The more I thought about it, the more I 'sayang'.... sigh.
---> State of high dissonance
Faster find justification: I promise myself I will not do anything to my hair for a year.
Hairdresser said it can last, I willingly believe him.
Lots of money saved = worth it
---> return to comfortable state of low dissonance

2. cannot take the torture anymore!
---> State of high dissonance
Faster find justification: I promise myself I will never perm my hair anymore.
Lesson learnt.
---> return to comfortable state of low dissonance


There are a lot of curls on my head. It reminds me of those hairstyles in the 70's and 80's.

My grandmother

My grandmother practises the proper yoga breathing technique, where the stomach and not the chest rises and falls with each breath.

My grandmother has blackheads on her nose. I feel like squeezing them out for her sometimes.

My grandmother is ninety-six years old and she cannot see nor can she walk anymore. She hardly remembers me now. But the bump on her knee still remains, caused by a fall which the one-year-old me was to be blamed for apparently.

During her bath this morning, grandma fell into a deep sleep and gave everyone a big scare. No amount of calling or petting could rouse her. Finally after she was done with powdering and dressing, she suddenly moved her hand to pick her nose.

Ah ma complains of feeling 'hangat' or heaty. Her body is seized by coughing fits now and then, often ending with a great sneeze that racks her whole body. Her efforts to expel the phelgm irritating her throat expend her energy and turn her face red with exertion. There is nothing much we can do except stroke her back to soothe her. Grandma has tried two cough mixtures which didn't seem to do any good to her. She has also taken mint leaves infusions sweetened with sugar which taste really good by the way. The mucosolvan tablets started two days ago seem to be working though. Her coughing fits are more infrequent, less violent and not so chesty now. The pharmacist said the tablets dissolve phelgm which will then be ingested and needn't be expelled.
(Uh-oh. Ah ma just started coughing violently again.)

During lunchtime yesterday, Ah ma couldn't swallow her oyster porridge. It remained in her mouth. Ah ma couldn't respond to our urges to swallow or spit it out. We gave her a sip of water. She couldn't swallow it either. Mum panicked slightly, while I tried to recall my biopharm knowledge. If I recall correctly, dysphagia = inability to coordinate swallowing happens with ageing. Is it dysphagia? My memory from that period in time of exams is extremely vague and hazy now.. I really hope I pass my exams. Results are to be released tomorrow. I have vowed to be hardworking from now on.
Anyway, it turned out my ah ma was too sleepy to swallow. She asked for 'ayak' ('air' in standard malay or 'water' in english) soon after and could drink perfectly well again.

My mum and aunties were slightly alarmed when they noticed grandma's leg seize involuntarily during her sleep a few times. Uh-huh, if I don't remember my biopharm, at least I remember episodes from House. House once detected a brain dysfunction when he saw a boy's leg muscles twitch involuntarily while awake. According to him, the twitching was a natural reflex when a person is asleep. A-hah.
Actually I experience such twitching too sometimes when I'm dozing half-way between sleep and consciousness.

My grandmother loves her 'po-chim' (bolster) very much, not unlike me. She likes to have it resting between her calves when she sleeps.

My grandmother sleeps on her side, like me too. She tosses and turns a lot when she can't sleep.

Ah ma has a very sweet nature. She neither frets nor grumbles. Her disposition is child-like now. Her frequent calls do not stray far from 'pukul berapa?' , 'hangat, hangat' , 'mau mandi, mau mandi' , 'mau ti-dok' , and her favourite of all: 'ayak ayak'. When she can't sleep, she gets restless and talks a lot in between consciousness. Two days ago, ah ma had trouble falling asleep. Her old memories resurfaced and she talked loudly of people during her younger days. Ah ma kept saying 'niao chu! u niao chu! a neh dua chiak ae niao chu! di lang ae chu' (meaning 'rat! There's a rat! Such a big rat in our house!' ), while gesturing that the rat was about 20cm in length. I asked my ah theoh (uncle) to buy niao chu's number, don't know if he did.

When I was young, around standard five or six, I once accompanied my ah ma out to the porch to pray to Ti Kong (God of Heaven) in the evening. My task was to put her joss sticks into the urn at the altar which required standing on a bench to reach. Ah ma's prayer lasted well over 20 minutes. I should know because I was checking my watch now and again in disbelieving amazement. Everyone in the family was included in her prayer for their health, wealth and well-being. Ah ma would name each and every one of her son, daughters, daughter-in-law, son-in-laws, grandsons and granddaughters; for each person she would offer specific entreaties for blessings. For her grandchildren it would always be for us to be 'guai guai, gao gao tak chek' (be good and be clever and study hard). She stood praying for a very long time; an eighty-something ah ma, motioning her joss sticks in prayer for everyone in her family. When I exclaimed to my aunties later, they said that she always took this long to pray every evening.


I wish for my ah ma to be happy and peaceful.

Boredom-induced sadness

I’m sad.
Because I’m bored.
Just the idea of it is ridiculous.
Exactly 12 days ago, I would have given anything in the world to be free with nothing to do.
This is so ridiculous.
Ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous.
See? I’m typing it three times just because I’m so bored.
Sigh.
I think I shall put it on my facebook status. Just to piss off all those who are having exams and rushing assignments. Hahahaha.

Options to kill my time:
1. Continue working on patchwork blanket.
2. Study next semester’s work?
3. Do something to my hair. It looked horrible in the kk pictures.

--- oh my god my hands are so dark! I am the same shade as siva now. ---

4. Go for facial? Face did not tan evenly much to my dismay.
5. Invest in storybooks. Love the twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. It is so expensive.
6. Learn finance and economy. I am totally clueless about the upcoming recession. It is so boring but my dad says it’s very important knowledge and I must know something. Ugh. I want to get myself a husband and leave everything to him. But then one must always be prepared in case the husband doesn’t come along.

Anyway, off I go to Penang tomorrow to help care for my weak grandma.
Let’s see how many ticks I can put on the checklist above at the end of my three weeks. I’m the Queen of Making and Breaking Resolutions All the Time.

PS: let’s not forget the fact that I’m still keeping my fingers crossed that I pass my exams. We shall not dwell on that thought, no?

Brown and happy

Back from KK.
Brown and happy.
Went white water rafting.
Went snorkelling for the first time. =P
Swam with the fishies. Some attacked and I was afraid. -_-'' it was so much fun!
Went on flying fish for the first time.
Got myself lots of ugly scratches but I don't care.
My arm hair got entangled with dead knots. never knew arm hair also can!
I am soo brown now.
My skin is dry and flaky.
I am going to climb mount kk too one day!
My eyes can hardly open.
I am soo sleepy.
For more info, refer to facebook.
The picture galore will start once everyone has recovered from their trip.

Going home tomorrow. 3 weeks of holidays to look forward to. happy holidays everyone! =)

幸福

幸福是什么？

今天考完试，感觉心里满满是幸福，那种感觉。。。连走路都会傻笑。
世界是多么的美妙！烦恼？什么来的？我早就忘了！
感觉身子好轻，脑袋好轻，心情好轻，走起路来都会飘。。。
那是打从心里的开心。我已忘了最后一次这么幸福过。

幸福一直持续着。。


回来收拾房间，把那惊人的一大堆头发清理后，
一个人静一静，开始回顾考试的表现。
我，做得好不好？
开始明白什么是遗憾和后悔。
病与药的试题，我做得有我想象中的好咩？
回想起来，选择题我有很多不确定，当时看了试题时松了一口气是因为不至于好像看到alien language，至少看得明白。现在想起来，看得明白是一回事，答案对不对我很多题都要靠运气了。作文题我看了直直松了大大的一口气！四题有三个都会做。比起我先前害怕连一题都不会做，出现blank的情况，这真是庆幸了。可是现在回想起来，好像真的不够料。第三和第四题，能够解释的东西，实在太多太多。那么多information, 要把它有条理的解释出来需要很多时间和精力，至少对我来说。说真的，我害怕不能在一小时内做到。到时候，整个作文乱糟糟的，到最后一分钟写不完漏了重点又紧张不是很惨吗？所以，我选择了作答第二，直接却不大多东西写的题目。加上已经四个晚上不够睡了，我当时没那个心情精力（其实是懒惰，哈哈），所以就选择容易却少point的题目。现在呢，真的担心会很少分。

有些遗憾... 不知是不是作了错的选择。如果努力一点，有信心一点，可能就能够写出一篇好作文了。更何况，第三题又是我上个学期做过的assignment。


我刚才的幸福呢?
我要回！
我的幸福为何这么短暂？

好的一点是，我很善忘。现在的质疑，迟些就没那么深刻，明天又会淡了一些，最后就会不当一回事了。所以说，我善忘。所以说，我也很难从经历中吸取教训。每一次考试，每一次紧张。每一次派成绩，有时考得好，有时不理想，不理想的话伤心失望一阵子就淡了。我，又为何介怀呢？

也许你会说我吃太饱不用读书所以没事做，坐在这里胡思乱想。
才短短的一小时呢，我的自责已经没那么深刻了。是的，我善忘。:)

Speed dating

So I went to kepoh. Instead of studying.

I was really looking forward to this event organised by the SRC, but was disappointed because turnout wasn't good. Many participants actually had their names submitted by their friends, and refused to come. There were altogether 7 girls and 7 guys in the end.

So last night, the hopeful singles came, their hearts brimming with joy and anticipation of finally meeting the ONE. The girls trickled in first, giggling and blushing as they entered the romantic, candlelit atmosphere of SR 1. All were sweet-faced, pretty young lasses (with the exception of a few, in the context of age I mean, hehehehe). The excited girls took some time to settle into their seats: some were nervous, one in particular kept changing her mind every 5 seconds whether to leave or stay =P, sadly another decided to leave.

Next to enter were the gentlemen of the evening. They came in, boisterous and shy at the same time. And so, amidst soft jazzy music playing in the background, and sipping sparkling juice aka champagne, these young guys and girls got to know each other better. Each pair was given 5 minutes after that which a whistle was blown and the guys moved one seat forward to get to know another new girl. Oh, how they chattered when the first whistle sounded, signifiying the start of the event! The whole room was filled with animated voices. As conversation flowed, the couples leaned forward closer to each other. Each person had on a mask ala masquerade, enhancing the magic and mystery of the evening. Oh, how their eyes danced under the candlelight!



Then Ah ken reached Cynthia and all spells were broken.

Everyone scuttled over and a discussion ensued. Which girl is prettiest? Which guy has potential? What are u doing here??? I love your most recent blogpost, it's so touching! hahaha.


Selepas itu, all of us went for bah kut teh.


Fast-forward to today, Cyn knocked on my door in the morning (correction: late morning). I grunted and decided if I ignore her she will go away. Manatau she sms-ed saying she has to go for the speed dating follow-up at 12.45pm. So I ma get up and shower and go with her lo.
After matching up the results from last night's event, there were 4 couples who expressed mutual interest. These four couples were given RM 30 each to plan their own second date. They were required to document their date, supported with pictures. The best couple wins the BIG prize of.........


deng deng deng. I know but they don't know. Hehehe.


The remaining singles were given a chance to draw for 3 movie passes. Not bad eh?

The four couples who emerged from last night's event were so sweet. :)
As they stood there smiling shyly at each other, I was struck by a sudden realization. I can't see myself standing there in their place. I don't have that anymore.
The sweetness of youthful innocence.
Maybe I still have it in me. Buried under all those layers of responsibilities and duties. Maybe I should take it out one day and polish it to give it a new shine.

I am glad I didn't join. I can't talk 5 whole minutes to someone I just got to know. Multiply that by 7 and it's 35 whole minutes of talking. Fuiyo. Actually, I'm just lazy to exert myself. And maybe shy too. Hehe.

Here's hoping at least one couple will end up together. Then the organisers have something to brag, and brag, and brag some more. =P

Edit:
I am so glad I did not join!!
If not it will be my first ever date!! It cannot, must not and will not be this pathetic. =P

Updates

What have I been doing?

Today is the first day of my very productive (yes it is going to be!) three-week study break. I went to Carrefour again this afternoon and decided to get a haircut. My hair was already getting very messy and big. The junior hairstylist told me as she ran her fingers through my hair: 'This length hor.. cannot cut u know.. Cos if you cut then you hair-ends will stick out even more.' So I said 'liddat no need to cut is it?', to which she replied 'Never mind, trim your ends a bit.'

Horrors of all horrors, that was what she did exactly! She very slowly and delicately lifted up portion by portion of my hair and started snipping 0.5-1.3 cm off all my hair ends. And man, was she slllooooow. I was so geram but kept my temper in check. I am not going back anymore.

And while I was being forced against my will to go through this very tedious and POINTLESS process, someone next to me was thoroughly enjoying herself with her lengchai hairdresser. I wanna close eyes and sleep also cannot, they are laughing away.

Every night at 3am for the past 4 consecutive nights, I climb out of bed and start eating. I snack on: Panda biscuits with strawberry flavoured filling, strawberry egg rolls and green peas with wasabi. My stomach has gone cuckoo. O.o

For want of physical exercise, my biological clock is also confused. If I stay at home the whole day, I can't sleep at night cos I'm not tired at all. So I went for a walk in the park, hopefully I can sleep tonight. :)

I'm watching moonlight resonance. Three more episodes to go! I'm going to learn sign language one day. :)

That's all for updates. I'm going to get in bed. Hopefully I won't climb out to eat again!

Not so nice

1. Me doing my health promotion essay on green tea is like our batch guys playing volleyball- point by point, very 辛苦. Each point I score is filled with as much blood and sweat and tears.

2. I HATE green tea. From now on.

3. People with weird names who write long, incomprehensible journals about everything and anything, why are there so many of you out there? All right, I'm being unreasonable. I can't believe I actually want-(ed) to go into research. Blehh.

4. Am I the only person who doesn't understand journal-English???? I wish I can write journal-English one day and mystify everyone who reads my work. HEH.

5. How come people got almost 100 references and I only got 18? Even that also I have to squeeze it out one by one like some constipated bowel episode. How some people can read 100 journal articles and digest all that info stuns me beyond words.

6. I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride today: nervous for biopharm, sad after biopharm, happy during lunch, lazy after lunch, excited during volleyball match, and now extremely 'pek-chek'.

Poetry therapy

Rain
Its smell permeating the air
Pervading my thoughts.

I battle
To keep my mind on dry ground
My heart is sinking
Sinking
into deep puddles
Brown and muddy.
My white frock soaks up the brown
I'm helpless as I stand
Entrapped
Sinking.
Sinking.

Summer rain,
Where art thou's joy?
Bring me thy sunshine and gentle mists,
Sunflowers and daisies and blue skies.
No
this is the black monsoon
Of dark clouds and thunder,
Banging doors and howling winds,
Soggy shoes and wet trousers ends.
And
a dirty wet lizard on the bathroom floor,
half-dead.

Shape poetry workshop this afternoon. That's why.

I started off all melancholic and touchy-feely. After the second stanza my melancholia was pretty much cured. Hence the vision of summer rain and fun. Then I thought of that baby lizard 'pliak' on the bathroom floor. It crawled in to look for shelter from the rain. Ugh. Gross.

Writing poetry is sooo therapeutic! Maybe I should submit this for the shape poetry competition. In the shape of a lizard maybe?

*Shape poetry = poetry written out in the form of a shape or drawing.

wisdom tooth woes

Caution: If 'geli' anatomy areas freak you out, go away. You have been warned.

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See the little, half-visible tooth furthest away from you? that's the wisdom tooth that's causing trouble. It grew senget, so now it's pushing its way into my cheek. It hurts so I can't chew much. I think I have to get it extracted. Now why why is it so stupid to grow senget when there's so much nice space on its other side??

It's actually on my left lower jaw. I dunno the picture placed it on my right..

And my knee changed colour.

Geli right? I am so 'wu liao'. Got tired of green tea-ing... I am such a slacker.

Better paste a nice pic before signing off... Just in case anyone feels like puking after those geli pics.

Cute hor all the soft toys? My brother graduated!! Congratulations to him! So his good little sister celebrated his graduation by taking pics of all the graduation animals in Memory Lane. Teehee.

inflation

Caution: If you're not concerned with inflation, go away.

Prices are skyrocketing these days.
Take for example Dutch Lady packet milk.


During my first semester it cost about RM5-5.50 only, if u were lucky you could get it for 4 something sometimes. I bought it occasionally. Those were the days when I had no time in the mornings to use milk powder.


This is a must-have in my store cupboard. The most versatile food ever!
Tuna pasta is my staple food every weekend. Mix it with pasta, pasta sauce, sausages, some cheese, and you have a very nice tummy-filling meal. Can add some hard-boiled eggs if you want to.

It used to cost Rm3.50 last time, then it became 3.80, and now, 4.19.

Btw, Buy 2 Free 1 stayfree pack is back! XOXO

This is Cynthia with all the stuff we lugged back from Carrefour. Sometimes even I'm amazed by my own strength.

Me so tired. Wisdom tooth is pushing it's way out again. My bed beckons, tata.

Phhoor me

I HAVE TO CLARIFY THAT THIS IS MY KNEE IN THE PICTURE.
someone told me something else. -_-''

Phhooor me.

I 'pok kai' in front of the lift.
A full-fledged one.
So kelian..

But nvm my friends helped me put cold compress. :)
Can you believe it, IMU, the 'PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL UNIVERSITY' doesn't have first-aid facilities.

Elevator services are forbidden to students. But I was lazy to take the escalators. The elevator door was closing already, so I RAN forward. I wanted to press the button to keep it open. In my excitement, I forgot I was wearing wedges. I didn't make it past 2 steps before I found myself splayed on the floor with all my books. =_='' And here comes the ironic part. The second elevator opened its doors right then to see me 'pliak' on the floor. =_=''''

Moral of the story: Ladies, don't run in your wedges!

words fail me

I feel. . . . . . .

..........

I dunno what to feel or think.
All I can manage is 'OH MY GOD'.

I thought it was a car accident. It wasn't.
A real tragedy.
God bless everyone.

http://www.chinapress.com.my/content_new.asp?dt=2008-08-22&sec=malaysia&art=0822mb72.txt

recent happenings

There have been many deaths around me recently.

First with Daniel, a Bpharm senior who was involved in an accident on his way from Penang back to IMU. I don't know him, but many were devastated by his sudden demise.

Yesterday, I received an sms from TMT telling me that our schoolmate, Wah Ghee, passed away in an accident. I felt like it was a bad dream. Wah Ghee, I remember his Chinese name is 曾华义. I can still faintly see those letters written on his exercise book, in his big, sparse handwriting. I remember his voice, slightly high-pitched. We were in the same class in 5A1, I'm not too sure about other years. He was this guy who loved to rock his chair backward precariously. Once he actually fell over. Was it him? I think it was him. He pissed our Chinese lady teacher off and she went to tattle to Mr Eow, our PK HEM. He wore glasses, he had pimples. Like almost everyone else. I never talked to him much la, he sat next to Tzyh Haur, the class genius. We were in the same primary school together too. Keat Hwa (H). I was in 红班, he was in 黄班. The only thing I remember back then was that he liked my friend and I helped point him out to her in the shed where we gather before afternoon school. Haha.

I can't really register the fact that he's no more. Because nothing has changed in my life. Like I sometimes can't remember if Saddam Hussein has died or not.

Last night on our way back from Midvalley, we chatted a bit with the taxi driver who seemed quite nice. Then out of nowhere, he said,

'Kebelakangan ini fikiran saya terganggu la.'
I started having a bad feeling.

'Sebab orang yang rapat dengan saya mati.'
My heart STOPPED right there.

The way he said it, I tell you, was positively scary. He stated it in a cold, matter-of-fact way. (or at least we thought so), and out of the blue like that some more.

I thought we were all going to be murdered by a psychopath.
Obviously not la, or else I wouldn't be here now.

It turned out his friend died of a heart attack. He had chest pain for the longest time but refused to see a doctor because he was afraid of needles. So our kind taxi driver felt bad for not pestering him more often to go to the hospital. After that I realised it was because he speaks in a very soft and polite manner, like Kamarul, so we got freaked out there.

With so many deaths, I even dreamt about it. -_=
May their souls be at peace.

On another note, DD1 CVS test is over!
PP1 extemporaneous dispensing test is over!
I felt slightly lost and cranky just now, cos dunno what to do. Now that's the most ironic thing. Actually there's lots of work to be done. I could start by doing my green tea essay, for one. =_=''


Do you know who is that lady?

It's none other than Datin Paduka Dr. Hajjah Sharifah Mazlina!

See I liked her so much I even went and memorised her full name.

She's that woman who journeyed across South and North poles and she is simply AMAZING!

Among her maxims is 'Don't be so serious la. Serious will die early.' She had the cheekiness to imitate the squeaky sound of the ice layer cracking, causing her guide to run out of his tent in fright. In the North pole, constant vigilance was required even when sleeping to listen for ice-cracks and watch out in case a polar bear comes poking his paw into the tent.

She dislocated her knee-caps and had to reposition them herself. AND continue with the journey. She had blisters the size of her whole heel. Mine seem like micro-minis compared to those. She could have died in simply any of the situations she faced. Even being there in the poles itself was a risk that she might die anytime!

She said she's 60. I think that's a bluff.

Her other maxims:

Time is life.

If you think you're fat, never mind, you still have slim fingers.

Don't worry if you have pimples, you still got other areas nice and clear wat.

my 100th post :)

I’ve finally reached my 100th post. =P
It feels great to have persevered for so long. This blog is alive and growing. I pen my thoughts and feelings here, in the hope that a few years down the road, I can look back and realize how much I’ve grown.

Which brings me back to theme of this journal of mine,

Life is a song, sing it!
Life is a game, play it!
Life is a challenge, meet it!
Life is a dream, realize it!
Life is love, enjoy it!

Humble salutations to Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba

food

durians,
mangosteens,
rock buns,
kong chai biscuits,
one whole carrot cake,
leftover tuna,
leftover yee mee.

now what should I eat first?

Passion

I was at the Passion concert at the Sunway Convention Centre on Sunday night.

It was an exhilirating experience. Full of joy and celebration. For life, for love, for all things good and beautiful. For God.

I was initially apprehensive. The crowd as we queued before the doors was HUGE. The organisers estimated a presence of 5,000. Worship music was blaring from somewhere, the crowd cheered. Almost like a mob before a rock concert. My heart did a little flip. My hmate says I'm like her dog. Both of us don't like crowds, it makes us dizzy.

Although a bit highly-strung in the beginning, I felt better after the speaker, Louie Giglioe (sorry I can't spell his name) spoke. After warming up, I really loved the songs! I couldn't really help it anyway, I was sitting with two very 'high' people. The songs are so full of hope and joy. They're a reminder that religion should be a celebration, and not something you turn to only in distress, which sadly I'm apt to do most times.

Chris Tomlin and Charlie Hall sang the songs for us that night. Accompanied by a band of course, in full rock style. A christian rock band. Haha. If you were there too and want their songs, go to baidu and search these two names. =)

No, I'm not a convert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went grocery shopping at Carrefour today.


The price rise is obscene!
Words failed me when I saw this:

400ml of Pantene shampoo cost about RM13-14 a month ago. I bought it in Giant Alor Star for RM10-11 two months ago. The anti-hairfall control one has done quite a good job keeping my hair attached to my scalp. But I can't afford it anymore.... sobs.

Dove shampoo, 375ml. I remember paying Rm9.90 for it last semester.

Loreal Elseve, 400ml. This one ar, can only buy when it's on promotion la.

Rejoice is the cheapest of all! I seriously considered buying it, although I hate how it makes my hair smell like overripe fruit.

In the end, I got Prefers instead. 750ml for 19.50. Cheap! Haven't tried it before, I hope my hair likes soya milk.
I really have start saving on shampoo. 1 bottle lasts slightly more than a month only for me. Die la liddat.

And this.

It used to be a buy 2 free 1 pack for the same price. For the longest time. Now, no more can you find a pack of 3 anywhere..

I'm sad.

One moment I'm so sleepy I could nod off in a blink.
I'm dozing... for what seemed an eternity.
I get impatient. Why haven't I blacked out yet?
And then thoughts of my breakfast and lunch tomorrow start entering this incorrigible brain of mine.
My brain starts paying attention to my stomach. My stomach is the first to break out from my trance-like doze and says: yesh, me hungry.
My brain starts to wake up.
I apply the professional decision making process to decide to get up and eat or not.
I weigh the consequences.
I think of the dark, dark outside and I get scared. I think of what adelin said; it's the seventh month.
I paint pictures in my thoughts.
I scoff at myself.
Then I start listening for noises.
I am still paranoid of break-ins.
After going through all options, I make a decision to get up and grab a bite.
No I wouldn't eat my black cherry bun because it's on the dining table outside and I'm a scare-dy cat.
I eat my tau sar piah instead.
I am fully awake now.
I sigh.
I turn on the comp.
I chomp on tau sar piah.
First one, second one..
At the third I realise there's paper stuck to the base of it.
No wonder the first and second tasted funny.
I open the door and peer.
The bathroom is just next door.
I brush my teeth.
So now I sleep again.

Pharmacy Law and Ethics

I would like to introduce a really good book which can be found in our library.

Practical Exercises in Pharmacy Law and Ethics, Second edition. Appelbe, Wingfield and Taylor; Pharmaceutical Press, 2002.

Inside this wonderful book are a number of cute stories suitable for all age groups.

For teens, they have 'The teenager and the coleslaw salad'.
Tots may love 'The child and the Phenergan Elixir'.
If you prefer something more exotic and mysterious, I'm sure you would love 'The priest in Ethiopia'.
Want a touch of drama? There's 'the friend in hospital and her anxious mother'. Sounds like a soap opera scene to me.
'The suicide and his girlfriend'. A very morbid detective story indeed.
Action-packed adventure comes in the form of 'The blizzard in Yorkshire Dales'.
Or, if you're in the mood for a naughty, raunchy, and errr... steamy story, read 'The adolescent girl and the Levonelle'.


Last but not least, I suggest you wrap it all up with a spine-tingling horror tale,
' The midnight telephone call............................... from the neonatal ward'.

Pharmacy Practice is very interesting crap indeed.

note: Someone just told me that this post turned up in the top 10 googling results for Practical Exercises in Pharmacy Law and Ethics, Second edition. Appelbe, Wingfield and Taylor; Pharmaceutical Press, 2002. :O
So it's only fair I clarify that the above content was written by a bored student who decided comic relieve was a better pastime than doing her assignment.
It is a good book. Everyone, go and read it.

Sweat it out

There's a very effective way to rid yourself of a slight fever which I use sometimes.
Just sweat it out.

I kick-started my sauna session with gulping down 500ml of herbal tea, still steaming by the way. And then the sweating started. And continued for quite a long time, which is good. Sometimes no matter how much I try to sweat it just doesn't happen.

And now I'm still sweating it out with some piping hot potato stew.
Is three potatoes too much? According to Cleo, the average carbohydrate intake during a meal should be only one medium-sized potato. And this isn't even a proper meal for me, it's my snack for tea. I love potatoes. ^^

Alright I have to go freeze myself in the uni library soon. I swear the temperature's colder than even genting or cameron highlands!!

I feel...

I feel that Wordpress is not as cool as I thought.

I feel surprised as I've heard some ravings about how much better wordpress is, so I decided to give it a try. My aunties want to be listed online for their food business, so they want to set up a blog.

I feel cheated because Wordpress doesn't allow me to customize CSS unless I upgrade my account at a fee. ??!!!

I feel impatient because it takes a loooooooooooong time to load. Even with multiples refreshes to help it along.

I feel that I should just stick to good ole' blogger. There must be a reason why xiaxue still hosts her blog on it.


In case you're wondering why I feel so many things, that's because someone sent me this really fun site www.wefeelfine.org by Jonathan Harris and Sep Kamvar. Supercool! It tracks down all blog entries all over the world and records all sentences beginning with 'I feel'. So you know how people are feeling the world over. =P

漫长的周末又来临了。

是时候洗衣了，可是我好懒惰。

为什么要用华文呢？就很久没用华文了，总觉得华文比较贴近。

最近的我越睡越多，八小时睡眠对我来说不够，我需要十小时。

上课回来，，感觉有点累，洗个澡，我就去睡觉了。睡午觉常常让我发噩梦。每每梦到恐怖时，想醒却醒不过来。睡午觉还有另一个坏处，就是晚上比较有精神。过了十二点，我的肚子就会开始有些饿了。我最讨厌躺在床上想要睡觉，可是肚子饿所以睡不着。我更讨厌饿到不能顶时就要爬起来去找东西吃。最最讨厌找不到东西吃。更更讨厌吃完后要刷牙。

是的，我很懒惰。

二姨和玲玲姨来吉隆坡玩。原本想要去找他们，可是妈妈说不要。我想去八打灵街卖水果吃。还有那里的云吞面真好吃。

有一段时间没贴靓照了，让我来贴几个。

这是上个星期我在ehipassiko佛学营里照的相片。
看看我们，我们都是好可爱善良的人们，你说是不是？

这是我在moments of life 里与大家分享的相片。那三位是从马大来的佛友。青衬衫的男生说了他对佛法的体验，让我听了深深感动。他说了living in the moment的道理，让我想起我好久以来的疏忽。他说他在佛法里找到自信。交流会后我兴冲冲地拉着好友跑去与他们合照。

这是无聊的后果。

这是daphne，我的娃娃。

她真的很可爱！看着她让我很开心。

Updates

The housemate has been making offers to teach me how to hit balls since our Intec days.
Tennis, ping pong or badminton, she has offered classes in them all.

Finally on Monday I went to play badminton with her. I was actually pretty amazed that I could hit the shuttlecock. Back during NS, I couldn't hit the shuttlecock even if it came flying right in my face. I see it, I hit it happily, and then turn around and realise I didn't! There was this one friend, we shall call her Ms. PiaoPiao. Piao Piao loved to play with me because both of us couldn't play. =_=''

That Monday evening itself after my afternoon nap I woke up to such pain in my left arm and the back of my shoulders. There was this one nerve extending from my forearm to my back which hurt like hell. It hurt when untouched. And even more when I moved. I remembered the song '会呼吸的痛' which means 'even breathing is painful'.

But most of the pain is gone now. =P
So 'paise' lar. Play for hardly an hour terus like that.

More updates:

1. Anwar was arrested today. :O I already stockpiled my foodstuff, toilet rolls, tissue paper and what-nots, so bring it on I say.

2. I love my new chair! 10 bucks. It looks very familiar, hope the previous owner didn't get it from the IMU library. It is going to be my motivation to study more. It's so comfy. ^^

3. I'm going to the Ehipassiko camp this weekend. Haven't been to a camp since Kem Bina Insan years ago where I bathed in river water and the trainers made me cry because they told me I was going to die.

4. I'm addicted to fish crackers which are oh so yummy. Once you start you can't stop. I feel heaty. Why is it only Asians get 'heatiness'?? I was munching away until one teeny lil' fish bone pierced my gum and got stuck there. Ouch. I had to remove it with tweezers. So no more fish crackers for me. :'(

5. I thought boys don't cry but I was wrong.

The other day I met up with a friend. I always thought him the not-a-care-in-the-world, lackadaisical person. Sometimes the most outwardly 'cincai' people are in fact the ones with everything together.

I kept yawning while he went on relentlessly about grand plans and future schemes. And all I could do was try to stay awake.

Am I too ordinary for not having a grand plan?

Am I a slob for not having much ambition?

I used to have them too, ambitions. But somehow I forgot about it as the days go by. Sometimes living each day is all I can do.

What happened to all my hopes and dreams and my bright and shiny future?

I need a grand plan.

Focus, girl! Life is short.

Go study

Dear TMT,

Hello!
Yes, I mean you.
Reading blogs are therapeutic i know. So yay! Thanks for dropping by.
But studying is fun too, ya know. All right, that's not exactly true.
But like it or not, you better go study.
So shoo!

Saturday for me

wake up -pee- read storybooks and flip through magazine - brush teeth and wash face - finally succumb to hunger pangs -pee- and go forage for food
eat lunch - check mail, read blogs - shower -pee- read newspaper -pee- read newpaper - play text twirl -pee- online -nap -pee- watch august rush -pee- continue watching movie - buy dinner - eat dinner -pee- try to study

Alright. I shall stop there. That's really TMI, i get it.

If you're still with me, the point I'm trying to make here is that I just realised something really hilarious. After another trip to the toilet, that is.

I just realised that the most productive and frequent activity I do best is pee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My hmate and I have been following the anwar- najib controversy religiously.I have to say that anwar's sexual orientation does not concern me the least. But unfortunately sodomy is a crime in Malaysia. At least I read that man-on-man sodomy is a crime.
Wait, does that mean that all gay men are criminals? What about sodomy involving women? All this is legal territory beyond me.
*scratches head*

So, a person who accuses another of sodomy has in fact, committed a crime too if the act was consensual. However, if the act was performed on him against his will, then it would be rape, and only the accused would be incriminated.

Was it rape? Or was it consensual?
Now that is the question.
23-year-old young man vs 61-year-old man. Go figure.
Then again, I'm not sure if the phrase 'against a person's free will' includes other forms of force other than physical.

I don't know about other people's moral standards. But for me, as long as he does no harm to anyone, whatever a person prefers is none of my business. Maybe I just have low moral standards then. Haha.

I am no lawyer, so what I've written is just what my puny mind could come up with trying to digest all the information I have gleaned. My political views are strictly neutral. The above content does not in any way represent my support of any political party. After all, I have signed the 'Aku Janji'. Teehee.
Politics confuse me. So I guess I'll stick with the idea of rising above it all. Just think of it as pure entertainment.

Being a pharmacist is fun

Being a pharmacist is fun.
We measure liquids, we weigh, we mix powders, we grind.
It's hard work it is, a pharmacist's life, I tell you.

I feel like I'm baking. The whole lab was one hot oven with no air-conditioning.

Do note the different colours of the powder mixtures. In fact all four have the same formula but the methods of preparation are different.

See the two very professional-looking pharmacists in showercaps. Waaaa

All my muscles are aching from the jog yesterday. I jogged 3 rounds, walked 3 rounds and also up and down a hill. I felt like I was floating after that. Moral of the story is to know your limits and don't go jogging with too semangat punya jogging kaki-s.

I want a massage. I want aromatherapy. I want someone to fold my clothes for me. I want to watch Grey's Anatomy and then fall asleep.

Sepi <3

Bisikku pada bulan
Kembalikan temanku
Kekasihku, syurgaku

Tanpa dia malam menemaniku
Sepi memelukku

Bulan
Jangan biar siang
biar alam ini kelam
Biar ia sepi
Sepertiku




Sepi is a story about three different lifes, three different loves intertwined by one life-changing event.

Adam (Afdlin Shauki) is a man in his twenties or thirties, fat and jolly, but very sweet in his own way; a chef who specialises in making the most romantic and dreamy wedding cakes. His mantlepiece is filled with cotton candy-coloured wedding invitation cards, as one by one his friends find the love of their lives. So the poor guy dreads weddings as he always gets seated at the 'singles' table.

At one wedding, by pure chance Adam catches a whiff of a Camelia flower in the beautiful dark hair of a maiden, and something in the scent of the Camelia made the world stop for him.


Next to enter was Sufi (Tony Eusoff). Sufi's story made me cry.
Sufi is a successful, very, very, very rich businessman who owns the Roadrunners shoe factory. One day, when he was driving with his wife, Nina, an accident happened. As fate had it, Nina died and Sufi blamed himself for not saving his wife. Sufi started running, running away from it all; loving his son, Ashraf, yet not knowing how to care for him when his own grief was so raw.
Fate led him to Marya (Eja) in whose serene, sky-blue presence Sufi finally stopped running. An off-hand remark by Marya to make running shoes with air-con in it (to cool the feet, you see) struck Sufi with a brainwave to make Roadrunners with a cooling system. Sufi was elated, ecstatic even. As he explained his idea, the architecture of the shoe, his face shone with something new. It was something in the the way he sat his boy down and told him to listen carefully to papa, something in the face of the little lost boy who looked up at him in full faith, that was so real it made me cry. Here was a drowning man and son, who had finally found something to grasp on to. Sufi's grief, his loss, his desperation for something to hold on to, to believe in again, his ecstasy at finding it, were so palpable. I've never cried in cinemas, maybe a tear or two sometimes. But this scene I interpreted it my way, and it filled me with sudden poignancy.

Lastly is Imaan (Baizura Kahar; I don't know who she is) who is a student studying art and drama. She is the playwright for a play (or was it just poetry declamation?) titled 'Sepi'. She is the one who wrote the poetry 'bisikku pada bulan'.
She's strong, very emotive, passionate about her play, and takes an instant dislike to Ian (Syed Hussein) who is the stereotypical good-looking, flirty Mr. Popular. Ian wants her, but she resists. At the end of the movie you realise she has her own demons to battle, in the form of her dead childhood sweetheart, Khalil (Pierre Andre).


I have to say this. I never liked Pierre Andre. I tolerate him at most. His presence in Goal and Gincu, I tolerated. I remember reading a write-up about him the the newspapers a few years ago; they heralded him as the rising star in local showbiz.
The author called him a 'heart-throb with hot, smoldering looks' or something along those lines. I almost laughed. Ok, I take that back. That was an evil thing to say. I just don't like him that much la.
There is something in the way Pierre Andre PURPOSELY slurs his words while keeping his mouth open only one small gap, that irks me.

I know that the local Malay slangs (not the KL bahasa baku) have a sing-songey tune to it, and the words tend to be slurred together. Some malays speak the language so fluidly I notice their mouths hardly open, they mostly move their lips only. It's actually nice if you do it naturally.
That explains why a Chinese-schooled, A-in-SPM Bahasa Melayu student like me took 2 weeks to actually understand what the malay staff were saying when I worked in the pharmacy. During the first few days, sometimes I couldn't understand a single word what they were telling me.

I would go 'sorry, huh? Kak cakap apa?'
Then she would repeat it in exactly the same way.

'Saya tak faham langsung apa yang awak cakap.' I say in my head,
which comes out through my mouth as 'Hhm, Ya. Ok.'

Or if what she says is accompanied by a smile or laugh, I say 'hahaha.' in return.
That's how hard the Kedah malay slang was for me. But I think they liked me, so my method must have worked.


Back to Pierre. I think his slurring is unnatural and a put-on.


But I digressssssssss. A lot.


Cinta tak datang hanya sekali.
That's the theme of the movie.
The cinematography ( is that what you call it? I actually want it to mean the graphics) were wonderful. And the colours, they were very fitting to every scene and emotion. The music, I love. But the director's shooting skills were so good it was awful. I tell you I wondered more than once to myself if this was an artistic film or a horror movie instead. The accident scene was replayed at least 3 times. It was scary in a foreboding way and I didn't like it one bit.

Bang! *Body clothed in pink thrown on windscreen and tumbles onto the road*

Bang! *SUV rams straight into woman in car*


Stab! *blood oozes out from abdomen and man falls backwards from overhead bridge into river*

Man looks like dead fish floating while girlfriend starts walking away in a shocked daze.




But Sepi has a happy ending.
The characters are beautiful people, and their lives are beautiful too.
And beautiful too is the thread which holds the whole movie together: love.

Guys and girl friends

What is it with guys who come running to me only when they're heartbroken or hurt?

Do I have the words 'Shelter for homeless and broken hearts' written on my forehead??

Oh I know these guy friends. They come running when they need somewhere to mend their poor hearts and the rest of the world is ignoring them. I'm a nice person. I can be their friend. Especially if our friendship goes way back. I treasure friendships and I don't mind helping a friend out. But I've had one to many experiences with transient friendliness such as this.

The trend:
Before girlfriend: Good friends, very buddy-buddy

-------------------suddenly disappears from face of earth---------------------------------

(rupa-rupanya got girlfriend already. Ohh.)

-----------------suddenly appears back on face of earth------------------------------------

In the second sentence (trust me it doesn't get further than the second sentence) of the conversation he'll sure let slip that he broke off with his gf.

(Ohh. Rupa-rupanya macam itu.)

Period of friendliness

------------------before disappearing off the face of earth again-----------------------------

I find it interesting. I don't mind it, I don't lose anything by being nice once in a while.

So guys, 'Shelter for Homeless and Broken Hearts' is open to all helpless puppies out there. Currently FOC, may start charging fees by hours.

Girls are so much nicer people, don't u think so.

Carnival

I loved to go to the carnival when I was a kid. There was a kind of energy which appealed to me. The rides, the bright lights, the blaring music, and the Caucasian carnival people whom I imagined were gypsies living a charmed life; it all seemed straight out a storybook. The Royal London Circus used to tour Malaysia too, back when I was small. I remember the clowns with the big red noses and white painted faces, they were so gay; but when I grew older I saw how quickly the grin could turn into a scowl, and heard the biting remarks that left the exaggeratedly lipstick-drawn lips when he thought his money-paying audience wasn't listening. I saw the dirt on the costumes, the hard unsmiling eyes in the grinning face, the money-bought happiness if only you choose to close your eyes to the glaring imperfections of reality.

Anyway, I went to the carnival again a few days ago. XOXO

Only this time I'm a big girl already, and I went without my daddy and mummy. hahahaha.It was the Euro Carnival at the bukit jalil stadium compound. Sad to say, carnivals nowadays are so unlike those "back in my time". There were hardly any people around, but then maybe that's because it was a Monday.

I went on my favourite ride, the spaceship

which goes round and round and up and down. The person in charge told us to 'pegang' something like a straight rod in the middle of the spaceship. So we 'pegang' lo. Then the ride started, and we went up, and up, and up, and up!! I was terrified! It was as if we couldn't stop. I thought I was going to go higher and higher and then disappear! SW and I looked back and saw cynthia in the spaceship behind us. That girl was nicely and safely sitting in her spaceship far, far below us. Can smile happily at me some more!

To make matters worse, as we went higher and higher the spaceship turned so we were facing the opposite direction from that it was moving. Then somehow we let go of our hold on the rod, and the spaceship went down. Phew. Of course we screamed, I was actually very scared. Quite malu cos the little girl taking the ride with us didn't scream at all. I like to think she was too mortified to produce any sound. I remember that the spaceship ride in Genting's themepark was not this scary. Dunno why this Euro carnival's spaceship ride is so much scarier than the one I like.

I wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but then it's so common and boring my friends said. So SW and I went on the skyride. It looked scary even when it wasn't moving. I saw seats suspended by long iron chains, kind of like swings. When the engine starts, they would all go whirling round and round in circles together. Try holding a ball suspended by a string and swing it gently so it moves in circles. That's how the ride works. It looks like this:

I asked the person in charge "takut ke?" He told me "tak takut la. BIASA SAJE." So I thought ok lo.Then the ride started moving, faster and faster as it gained momentum. And then I was swinging in circles high up in the air. The circles were not smooth, no, that would have been too easy. I was lurching up, then lurching down. I thought I was going to die. I screamed and screamed. And screamed some more. I contemplated the possibility of me throwing up in mid-air. Ewww. So messy. The ride was so long I reached a point where I was too tired and made half-hearted aaahs only when the swing lurched upwards. I started to think it was all very funny. hahahaha.

My legs were shaking after the ride. haha.It was all very fun, but I think that I'm too delicately made for all this rough handling. =P

Delicate me has to sleep now. Good night.

This is us. We were so happy.

From a dear friend

Wenny I call you,
A friend so true,
Friendship is a beautiful book,
Which is worth the time took...

The chapter you became my friend,
Is a moment so grand,
The page worth reading over and over again,
Brings me down the memory lane...

So, I'm telling you now,
Your friendship is worth the bow,
The friendship we share,
Is filled with eternal care.

I'm glad we're friends,
I hope this friendship never ends,
This story ends never,
For we'll be friends forever!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friends are god sent people say,
They make our perfect day,
The friend I'm gonna talk about,
Is someone I've always been proud...

A perfect mix she is,
Honesty I see in everything she does,
Her speech is very modest,
Her action is no less...

No mask she wears,
All the stories she shares,
Makes me wanna smile,
For it's worth the extra mile...

Working with her is great,
As she is a true mate,
Our friendship will always remain,
Despite the obstacles and restrain...

Friendship is worth more than any sum of money,
Especially when it's a friend like you, Wenny.


Thank you mekh. =)
I was so touched. It filled me with an indescribable kind of sweetness. =P

Yes, mekh writes poetry. Poetry so natural and sweet it melts the heart!
Or at least it did mine, because it's about me! =P
Thank you mekh, if I could I would balas a pantun just about you. But as you know, I'm still stuck at the fussypot poem I wrote such a long long time ago. Since it tickled you so much, here it is again.

Fussypot, fussypot,
Are you a pot?
Cooking so hot.
What have you got?
In your big, hot pot?
Just some oats,
and a big fat goat.

Sudoku sudoku what kind of name is that?

Sudoku is driving me crazy.Geram geram. haha.See,I've nothing better to do than to irritate myself with sudoku. I've only completed 2 puzzles in my life. The first one 3 years back was such an accomplishment I stuck it with a thumbtack to my noticeboard. Then I never did anymore sudoku. The second puzzle was completed about an hour ago. =P it's level of difficulty was medium. Medium is relatively ok to do, so I thought I might as well try 'hard'. Then I got stuck. Completed one-third of it already still can get stuck. The person or comp who created the puzzle is so kick-ass smart.

Anyway I checked my sitemeter stats the other day. It was so funny I started laughing to myself. Someone in UK googled 'Tesco Alor Setar' and ended up at my page. Note the spelling 'Alor Setar'. I'm guessing it must be an Alor-Starian who emigrated there and forgot that we are now officially known as 'Alor STAR' since becoming a city. Then another person googled 'slim my feet' hahahaha. And ended up at my post such a long time ago ranting about big feet. Then someone actually googled my name, and ended up clicking about 16 pages. I'm thinking that someone has the same name as me and googled for fun. It's such a nice notion. XOXO

Made of Honour

I watched 'made of honour' today.

It's a really really really niceeeeeeee movie. =P
Good storyline- a modern day fairytale, good-looking actors, and plenty of humour thrown in. In fact the guy sitting behind me was guffawing every half a minute. VERY LOUDLY. I was too shy to turn and stare. Not that he would have taken any notice anyway.

"made of honour' is much nicer than 'definitely, maybe'. I found 'definitely, maybe' to be slightly boring and draggy at times. But not with 'made of honour', it keeps you smiling and laughing all the way through.

The main attraction of the movie was of course, Patrick Dempsey, a.k.a McDreamy in Grey's.
He's cute, he's adorable and oh so boyish looking. And he has eyes that make you fall straight into. Eyes that smile when he smiles. =P
Patrick Dempsey wasn't so dreamy in the movie though. Maybe it was because there weren't many emotional scenes.

But yes, this is a must-watch alright.

Wait, I just remembered something from the movie. Glow-in-the-dark thunderbeads. What is it actually? Someone pandai told me it was actually a dildo. It looks like... well, just a string of glow-in-the-dark beads. If anyone knows please tell me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I'm back in bukit jalil. Back to school again it is.
The other day during my wait for my results, I thought what would I do if I failed my exams and had to quit the course. My mind went blank. I know I wouldn't. But then I just wondered how would my life turn out differently should I not become a pharmacist. After Form 5 the future loomed full of possibilities and choices which I had to make. Immediately. I was to decide the path of my life. It was a time of uncertainties, of doubts, of fear, of hope. Things changed once the scholarship came along. Suddenly my path was set; A-levels, Mpharm and then become a pharmacist. In a blink of an eye, my life would have past me by just like that. Sometimes I wonder how things would be like if not for this. I like to look at drivers in oncoming cars when I'm behind the wheel. I wonder where they are going and who they are and what they do. What they like, if they are happy or if they are sad, if their house is tidy or strewn with things everywhere. I wonder how it would feel like to be the man with the pot-belly. Would I be happy? Would my favourite food be Ying-Yong or laksa? I wouldn't wipe my mouth after eating because it wouldn't bother me if my lips were greasy. Or I would imagine being the lady in tudung and baju kurung. I'm driving home from work. Would my husband be cross or good-natured? How is my house like? How many children do I have?

But I am me. A student in her second-year of uni; short hair, looks quiet, slightly shy, slightly gawky. Bad-tempered at times, doesn't like to wake up in the mornings and is reluctant to sleep at night. Her favourite food is wah-tua-guan lemak laksa and fried oysters with eggs. She automatically senses that all mattresses she has slept on since leaving home are not as confortable as the one at home. She likes to pester people for leg massages. She is lost a lot of times. She is me and she's wondering how to end this post.

Chang Festival

The annual 'Chang' (rice dumpling) festival is to commemorate the ancient Chinese poet Qu Yuan who drowned himself in a river to prove his innocence when he was wrongly accused for something- I forgot what. Either that or he committed suicide because he didn't want to bow to government evil forces. I can't really remember for what reason exactly, but anyway he jumped into a river for the higher good. So on the fifth day of fifth month of the Chinese lunar calendar for every year since that fateful day hundreds of years ago, the peasant folk would make 'chang' and throw it into rivers in hope that the fish would eat the 'chang' and not nibble at the poet's body.


This year I made 'chang' for the first time. Since I said making 'chang' was very easy, cheh what's so difficult, my mom decided to see how good I am. And as social etiquette dictates, every year my mom would make more 'chang' to give to other people than for ourselves and in the process tire herself out thoroughly. This year a total of 80 'chang' will have to be made, so it's only proper that I help.

Firstly, the ingredients.

Glutinous rice with bean~



Belly pork (or five flower meat) seasoned and stirfried with garlic


Mushrooms!


Chestnuts. look closely, they look eerily like brains. got right and left hemispheres, and also markings that resemble brain foldings, err I forgot what it's called already. can anyone tell me??


Dried shrimp (hae bi)

And my favourite! salted duck egg yolks. Don't they look cute??


My mom decided I would make those for our own consumption, and she would made those to be given away. Biasa la.
Since I love kiam ak nui (salted duck egg), of course I choose the biggest and nicest and most orangey ones to make my chang. Same with mushrooms. =P And since my dad likes dried shrimp, I put more in also. And I also choose bigger pieces of meat. To fit everything extra in, I make BIG chang. muahahaha.
While I was wrapping, I had nothing better to do so I thought I would come up with a bak chang chant, like the Big Mac chant.
It goes like that:

One piece of fat belly meat,
juicy mushroom,
crunchy chestnut,
shiny egg yolk,
and..
a sprinkling of dried shrimp
in a glutinous rice dumpling!

See if u can do it in under 4 seconds, I give u a free bak chang.

After that I came up with a brilliant idea of having something like a lucky draw. Each chang would have different ingredients, some would have extra egg yolk! while others would have 2 pieces of meat and nothing else! muahahaha. Fun eh? But no one approved of it.

My bak chang. Not bad eh?


The bak changs. Cute le.


My mom at work.

I look like a gawky schoolgirl. yea I cut my hair.
Altogether I made 3 bunches, about 30 chang. My mom still made more la, heh..
One of my chang opened up when boiled, but except for that 1 failure all turned out very well and actually quite pretty (heh perasan) and most importantly got a lot of 'liao' (filling)! XOXOXO
I conclude that making chang is easy but hard work.

The chang have to be boiled for 3-4 hours.
This is the primitive charcoal stove used. Sorry please tilt your head 90 degrees to the left. tq.


Men of the family dealing with the boiling process. eeww look at the water after boiling the chang.




The region just slightly below my waist (it's the lumbar I think) hurts from standing too long. Pain lo. =(
And the arch of my foot hurts too.
And my thigh muscles hurt.
My mom didn't suffer any pain though. What's the matter with me?

Now that I'm actually eating the chang I made, I can't bring myself to eat it. It took so much effort to wrap..

你的生日快乐吗?

你的生日快乐吗?

人性的一天 要开心一点
生命如过眼云烟
留不住她在身边 只留下想念
他对你的好 他给你的笑 你怎么都忘不了
让我陪在你身边
慢慢走过这世界
感情太多考验 跌倒了不等于永远
你一定要坚强一点 展开笑颜
你的生日快乐吗？ 许了愿吗
偶尔孤单 其实很正常 每个人都一样

你的生日快乐吗？ 一夜长大
偶尔难免 承受一点伤
天黑了就天亮

李吉汉 -

Happy Birthday to me!

Tesco has extended its flagship of hypermarkets to include ALOR STAR! WOOHOO~

Tesco coming to Alor Star is no big deal to me, but when I passed it by I actually saw on the building the words 'Big Apple' and a donut icon happily smiling at me. I was so excited!

Alor Star has its own Big Apple donuts now! WOW! I have to brag about this. This is a real big step for Alor Star you know.





The whole of Alor Star and beyond came to Tesco. 'Beyond' refers to the kampung-kampung and pekan-pekan nearby: Changlun, Jitra, Kota Sarang Semut, Simpang Empat, Pokok Sena, Gurun dan lain-lain lagi. All came out in full force to make the place meriah.



Alor Star-ians have been having donuts for breakfast, lunch, dinner lately..





My mom and I got chocoholic and duren-duren.

Me with my duren-duren. Gooooood..

My mom with her chocoholic..

And oh, Alor Star got Portugease egg tarts already!! my favourite! These are from King's Confectionary. I never saw Portuguease egg tarts in Alor Star before, so yay! we have it now. It doesn't taste as nice as Baker's Cottage's though. I miss Baker's in Shah Alam!

At Living Cabin, I saw this very cute and interesting lamp.

That's the switch by the way. Yes, you're supposed to finger it everytime you want to turn on or off.

I turn 22 today. Happy birthday to me! I've walked this earth for 22 years... My my.. I am ancient. =P

This is me at 1 plus or 2 years old I think. Don't play play oh, I won first prize for being the healthiest baby you know!

Me when I was about 5 years old..

The me now..

Enriched by the wisdom of 22 years on earth. This is who I am now.

I wonder where 22 years down the road will lead me to. I can only wonder. =)