Exam blues

This post is dedicated to all people who have taken exams at least once their lifetime.
I've been doing it for the past 16 years. boo hoo.

(note: The whole exam blues episode seems very hilarious now only because I'm typing this post-exam and pre-CNY safe and happy at home in alor star)


People deal with exam stress in different ways.

Since we can't hold up a banner saying "I'm stresssssssssed out and dying!",
we resort to the next best thing: posting status updates on facebook.
And then the rest of the world drops by for a chat and general 'you phoor thing'-ing session all around.

For example,

As you can see, studying about affective and anxiety disorders is doing exactly that to us!!


Exams affect us in physical ways too..

How to go visiting during CNY like that?

Some of us, find more solace in therapeutic cam-whoring sessions.

See see the eskimo and the pretty sotong girl? :P

(sorry, no pics cos have no permission to upload their pictures)

Some of us, turn to divine help when it's too difficult to shoulder on alone.

What with the BTN camp issue initially, we were all clutching at any straws of salvation whatsoever.

And finally, BTN was cancelled!!

We made it through the three class tests. Looking back now, it's really quite funny hahaha.

And if you noticed, yours truly was running around everywhere pak-kua-ing at such comment sessions. hahaha.

And Milochel gave me an award. It's the first award this blog has ever won! woohoo~~~

Cutest blog award! (I think..) Yay!!!! (does little jig all around)

So, a little something about milochel.

I used to have a lot of assumptions about milochel which turned out ALL wrong after checking with her during an msn conversation.

wen chin: So you online all the time?

Milochel: No ar... I appear online on msn only ma..

wen chin: so you got a lot of contacts for part-time jobs?

milochel: Har... nope...

And some more which I've forgotten.

Anyway, one thing I am SURE about is that milochel has really pretty feet! ~envy-nya....~

Phobias

I don't want to study and I have nothing to do online. That brings me here.

Today we shall talk about phobias.

Phobias are irrational fears of specific things or situations which cause intense anxiety. Symptoms are similiar to a panic attack. It becomes a cause of concern when these fears lead to patients avoiding those things and situations up to an extent which interferes with their daily lives.

Besides the more common phobias like haemophobia, agarophobia (fear of being in a situation that might trigger a panic attack), social phobia, fear of public speaking etc, there are the more amusing phobias which squeamish people are particularly susceptible to. :P

I have lizardophobia.
Even typing that L-word makes me squeamish. Ugh.
It manifests as symptoms akin to a panic attack: racing heart, chest pain, shortness of breath, sense of unreality, numbness/tingling, lightheadedness/ dizziness, sweating, choking, trembling, fear of being out of control and fear of dying. Alright, my symptoms are not so bad. I generally want to run away or wave a wand to make 'L' disappear.
Lizardophobia leads to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) for me. I develop persistent and recurrent thoughts which are unwelcome and upsetting about 'L'(s). To allay my anxiety caused by these obsessive thoughts, I have to do everything I can to rid my space of the 'L'. These include 'L'-hunts (which are really exhausting, exasperating and traumatising), and an 'L'-repellant produced by Ridsect. I am extremely thankful to my dear housemate who has always come to my rescue during 'L'-hunts, no matter what time of the day or night. (What am I going to do without you dear, I cannot begin to imagine)

In return, I try to be there for her when she screams when a bug so much as flies into her room. Or cockcroaches. That is when I feel brave. hahaha. Bugs don't scare me, I just squash them. But most of the time I set them free at the balcony, with the only exception of cockroaches.

I have a friend who has a fear of chickens. It's pretty serious.
And another who's afraid of fish.
Oh... and another who is deathly afraid of butterflies, so I heard.

I marvel at people who have it all together. People who lead fulfilling, wholesome and happy lives. People who are assured that they are on the right road, in the right direction. People who are- good.

For a while, the wholesome-ness seeps into me.
I feel whole. Being a good person feels good.
But I am afraid they will see the shattered pieces I actually am.


In the maze of crossroads and forks and junctions, I see people going in every direction. I pick a path, just to wander down another at the next fork. Sometimes I know which way I should go, but I choose instead the opposite direction, lured by frivolity and temptations I think will make me happy. I see those skipping merrily on their way; I see those plodding steadily onwards. And I marvel at them.



~~~~~~~~~
I need to sleep.

two thousand. and. nine.

I haven't blogged in a while.

It is now the year two thousand. and. nine.

Resolutions are healthy. They signify hope, which is a good thing. I'm not sure if I made a resolution last year. I think this time last year, I was only glad that i had recovered from the worst bout of acne. This time last year, I was carefree after my second semester, happy in a hesitating way, and looking forward to junior orientation.

To be more exact, it is now the year two thousand. and. nine. and. seven days.

So I should make a resolution. I resolve to be always conscious of my inner reality and bliss.

Skip that if it doesn't make sense to you.

UZ got me this from Starbucks.

It's a journal for the new year and it smells heavenly- a nice wood-ish smell. The first instinct I had upon opening it was to bury my nose in the pages.

So I wrote my first entry on a thick brown page for January in black inky pen.

I want to fill the pages up with writing fluid and dense. With twirls and flourishes here and there. But I doubt I will be writing much. My diaries before were where I wrote all my little secrets; the failings of the human heart- my little loves and crushes, my happiness, my hopes and fears.

I like it's theme- begin. grow. flow. I like the little dots.

I. like. the. little. dots.

Yesterday I found out I will never be an artist. This was the card I made for cynthia.

I spent 2 hours making it. Googled some card projects online and decided that the cut and paste method created a nice effect. Towards the end, I was shaking so much from laughter and despair I couldn't stick the bits properly.

It's late.

My other resolution? Sleep early and rise early.