llp came to visit so i played host and brought her around to see Scotland. Since I decided that skiing was too much work (HY organised a ski trip to aviemore), we took a minivan tour up to the highlands instead.

Most of the tour was spent looking out the window at the scenery. it was breathtakingly beautiful. the day was cloudy and foggy, but there were intervals when the clouds cleared to reveal an amazingly blue sky and the sun shone down upon snow-capped peaks and undulating plains of varying shades of brown.

Our first stop was Loch Lomond, the largest loch in scotland. 'loch' means 'lake' in gaelic, which is the language of highlander scots. there are 5 million people in scotland; only 50 thousand speak the language (warning: the accuracy of all facts reproduced here relies on my memory which is rather fallible).

Loch Lomond

We made friends with a guy from China. China guy is from shantung province and has a heart of gold, we called him 赤子之心.

at loch lomond,

china guy: 仙境! 太神奇了！真是仙境啊！！(fairyland! unbelievable! it's really a fairyland!!)

and in the van later on,

china guy: 瀑布！快看！那里有瀑布！ (waterfall! look, quick! there's a waterfall!)

i wanted to laugh but i think awe is a good quality to have. too often life has eroded our sense of child-like wonder so much so we are left jaded and unfeeling even in the presence of such profound beauty.

one of the 'Ben's ('Ben' translates as 'beacon' in english)

Etive Mor

Loch Lochy

The picture says it all. the mirror-like waters of loch lochy gave such a perfect reflection i struggled to distinguish land from water, real from illusion. bbc's pictures were true after all.

Loch Ness (do you see Nessie's hump?)

We took a riverboat cruise on Loch Ness. i wouldn't recommend it as there is really nothing much see or do. i spent a large part of my time listening to the guide who revealed to us in secret that the Loch Ness monster exists. he said he was a marine biologist who has been studying the loch for years. Among the evidence were numerous images from the riverboat's sonar system detector showing a huge mass about the equivalent of 50 tonnes of fish and a picture of part of the monster above water. it could be true, who knows.

some scenery snapped from the moving van

llp says i've changed. become clammed up, unfamiliar. All the more reason for my new year resolution number 2.

i had better go sleep. resolution number 3 will be broken for the umpteenth time if not.

一个女孩的心声~

我只是个女孩，我希望有人疼，有人爱，有人包容，有人让我撒娇，有人可以吃我做的饭，有人可以夸我乖，有人能陪在我身边，有人能过马路的时候拉着我的手，有人能给我安全。有人喜欢带我逛街，穿高跟鞋走累了都会有人背；有人乐意带我去他去的各种场合，并把我介绍给他的朋友们。

我只是个女孩，我希望有人关心，有人保护，有人会记得每天告诉我晚安，有人告诉我他对我很安心。有人记得我们一起过去的点滴，有人绝对不把我们之间的承诺作儿戏。有人告诉我，照顾我，他一点也不累。

我只是个女孩，我希望有人认同我，有人认真思考然后告诉我他觉得我的话其实也有道理，在我做了点可爱的事情以后摸摸我的头鼓励我做的好。有人不轻易夸我，也不吝啬使劲夸我。

我只是个女孩，我希望能有人惦记我，在我郁闷大哭的时候把我的头按在胸膛哭够了问我怎么了。 我希望有人告诉我，有时候想念我令他难受。 我不娇气，不放纵，不说谎，偶尔无理取闹，偶尔缠着他给我买东西。偶然一条短信告诉我他想我，我就知足。 我不演戏，我什么都相信。我说过的话都算数，所以，对我说过的，别忘记。请别忘记。 我会尽量变得更乖，相信海誓山盟。努力相信自己配的上自由和幸福。

我只是个女孩，我喜欢诚实的人。因为我诚实。但是我有时候会忍不住，所以也允许别人有同样的忍不住。 如果我说我们不会再见了，我一定会躲开你。也许我还会在街边偷偷见你，因为我会忍不住想你，想见你，你又会如何回忆我。我会放过你，却无法放过自己，放不过附身的记忆。往事通缉，孤单侵袭，也许习惯就可以。 如果我的想念喷薄而出，我不会告诉你。尽管如此，那些思念依然值得我珍惜。

我只是个女孩，如果我相信你，我会告诉你，我可以不勇敢吗，我想让自己不勇敢。那些勇敢的人都未必幸福，因为是不幸让他们勇敢。 我喜欢被勇敢的你守护着，因为有你，所以我不需要勇敢。

我只是个女孩。 我会难过，但是不会自甘堕落。 我会伤心，但是会努力让自己不要伤心太久。 也许我会遇见一个微笑的魔鬼，他将指引我，给我奇异的火花，他将短暂的照亮我的心灵。他会交给我幸福的预感，却拒绝给我一点点幸福。 也许我会遇见一个烂醉的天使，他神经质地微笑，给我看他掉了毛的翅膀，但是上面残存的每一片，都是能令我撑死的幸福。

我只是个女孩，只想那个烂醉的天使，那个哪怕是翅膀上缺少羽翼的天使，好好的守护我……

ahahaha...gotcha!! sorry to disappoint, but no way did i write any of the above. It was posted by a 'mu yang ng' on fb. and i would indeed be delusional if i believed myself to be that delicate, ethereal creature in the picture.

anyway, i cannot emphasize enough that the act of re-posting this composition does not mean it is representative of my thoughts or feelings, tqvm. after all, not every one lives in a fairytale land of porcelain skin and pretty flowers.

do tell me your thoughts!! :PPPP

The smell on my skin is all too familiar- a fresh, soft scent bearing the faint sweetness of flower blossoms. I know this scent; once upon a time it was calmness after a long day. It was in the swirls of steam from a hot shower, and later, in the cosy burrow of pillows and sheets and warmth.

My heavy book of 366 bedtime stories has a story which explains the origin of snow. Unbeknownst to most people, up in the sky lives a lady in her nice little house, who opens her windows to beat her feather pillows every now and then. These little feathers then fall to earth as snowflakes.

My room is in a mess. my stuff needed reorganising and I thought some interior deco to spruce the space up would be nice. But right now, I’m sprawled on the chair, groggy and heavy-headed, wishing sleep would grant me its solace. Winter syndrome is back in all its haziness, and with it comes gluttony as well. It is a tight rope to walk- the art of satisfying my stomach- it gets hungry so fast and even threatens a hypoglycaemic attack if not fed. And then, after being fed, it hogs all blood supply for itself. Never mind the brain, let it go to sleep. Selfish brat, the stomach is.

Watched Sherlock today. Holmes and Watson. House and Wilson. Best buds. H steals W’s money and wears his clothes. W ‘enable’s H and plays along with his idiosyncrasies and fanciful ideas. And there’s also a little dog in both stories as well. Pure coincidence? I shall never see House in the same light again. *sigh*