The Ry Man Turns ONE!

Okay, so it's two weeks after the fact, but my little man turned one! So, honesty time: Ryan was....unexpected. Very unexpected. He was our big "surprise" on the fourth of July! It was my most difficult pregnancy yet. I pretty much couldn't eat ANYTHING the first tri-mester. I think I survived on cup o' noodles, toast, and pop-tarts. I know, healthy, right? It was misery. Then we changed jobs and moved to a new city just as the weather was turning cold and dark and I got hit with a crazy depression like I had never experienced. It was hard to get out of bed every day, I lost my desire to do just about anything I loved to do, and had I been able to, I would have simply sat in my rocking chair and stared out the window all day. I made myself get through every day and take care of my kids, but it was a constant battle. I still didn't know many people and felt very lonely. And I'll be honest, I resented being pregnant. It's been over a year now and I still feel guilty admitting it. I was not in a good emotional state at all despite trying everything I could to boost myself up. And on top of everything I started having anxiety about going through labor again, and the anxiety quickly turned to panic. Every time I thought about going into labor I would start to have a panic attack. I didn't do much to prepare for the birth because I would freak out every time I tried. I didn't even pack my hospital bag until the day before my due date. When I finally did go into labor I started crying. I didn't want to do it. But a calm came over me as my instincts kicked in and I started to focus on getting through the contractions and doing what I had been trained to do with Logan and Garrett. Shortly after it started we got to the hospital and, after a very....interesting labor.....he was here! And it was over. The crazy depression, the mounting panic, the resentment, all of it just instantly vanished. Ryan was the first baby I got to really hold on to after he was born. My labor with Logan was 22 hours long, no epidural, my water would not break, I couldn't fully dilate and I pushed for 2 very long hours. I was so exhausted by the time he was finally born I held him for a minute but had to have Ben take him because my arms just couldn't hold him up and I couldn't keep my eyes open to look at him. Garrett came out blue with the cord around his neck, so they showed him to me and whisked him away to get him pinked up. With Ryan labor started just after midnight and he was born just after 5 am. They put him on my chest and left him there. I held him and stroked him and cried and counted toes and fingers and kissed him over and over. He was a surprise to us, but I knew he had always been part of the plan. I was overwhelmed by how much I loved him immediately. As I type this it feels like I'm remembering it from just a few months ago. And here we are with a one-year old who's just starting to walk. It went by just like that. A snap. Ryan is my Sunshine, because no matter how you may be feeling on any given day, all it takes is one of Ryan's smiles to make everything seem just right. He is always so happy (except when teething...yikes). He loves to do anything his big brothers are doing, especially play with cars, and gets into everything, just like he should. I am so grateful for a loving, knowing Heavenly Father who knew that Ryan needed to be a part of our family at this particular time before we even knew it ourselves. He has brought so much joy with him and has such an incredible spirit in him. We love him beyond words!

 Happy Birthday, my sweet baby!

My friends, I have returned! My lengthy blogging hiatus (thank you, dead hard-drive in old laptop) is over! Thanks to a beautiful thing we call "tax return season" there is a shiny new laptop sitting on my desk making it possible for me to once again share details of my life with those who want to know. Since updating the blog from my iphone seemed more like a nightmare, I have missed blogging a lot of big moments over the past year and a half (almost)! Most notably, Ryan joined our family last year and his first birthday is already almost here! CRAZY! That is one of my motivations for getting back to blogging, for journaling my adventures with these three amazing, crazy, wild boys I get to be mama too. Spring is full of new beginnings, right? Just to give you a snapshot, here are a few things going on with us right now:
     -  Ben is working as a Copy Writer for The Center for Excellence in Higher Education (the company that owns Steven's Henager College and other career colleges).  For the most part he really likes the job, but doesn't always feel the freedom to be as creative as he would like. Other than work he is such a great help at home and loves playing with the boys. He has been wanting a grill for years and this year we were finally able to get him one. And even though it's not fancy, he has been making us the most delicious food lately! Salmon, chicken, steak, burgers, lamb shishkabobs, grilled veggies. YUM!
     - Logan is thoroughly enjoying all-day Kindergarten and has a lot of friends.  He is excelling in his school work, loves to ride the bus, sings pretty much all the time (like mother like son), LOVES to play video games as much as I will let him, but also loves to play with Garrett and spend time with friends and be outside when we can. He is growing up so much and is such a sweet boy.
     -  Garrett.....oh boy. What to say about Garrett? He is the sweetest, most kind-hearted little boy. He is always so concerned about the people he loves and looking out for them. He has an incredible imagination and loves cars above anything else right now. But he is also my most challenging right now. He fights me on EVERYTHING, negotiates, demands, whines and is always in need of something. He makes me smile and laugh, he gives the best hugs, he always wants to be near me and he exhausts me with his never-ending energy! He is also my little Jekyll and Hyde. When he is hungry there is nothing in the world that will get through to him. You cannot reason, you cannot punish, you cannot do ANYTHING except get food into the beast and no sooner has he had a few bites that my happy, smiling boy returns. 
     - Ryan has been the happiest, easiest baby! He always has a smile for everyone. He loves to do whatever his big brothers are doing, especially playing with cars and wrestling with Daddy. He gets in to EVERYTHING, including the toilet when his brothers forget to close the bathroom door.  He loves to explore and is not afraid to crawl off at full speed whenever we put him down anywhere. He will look back with a mischievous smile and keep right on going. We call him our sunshine because it doesn't matter what mood we're in, Ryan smiles and you can't help but feel happy.
     - Me. Well, life has certainly had some adventures for me lately. The biggest being my knee surgery almost two months ago now. The doctor is still not quite sure what I did to hurt my knee so badly, but they were able to straighten my leg and I've been able to walk again. Physical therapy helps a ton and I feel stronger all the time. But I think it will still be some time before I feel completely back to normal again. Other than that I am continuing the adventure of staying home with my crazies and having good days and bad. I still try and do sewing a craft projects when I can, but not as much as I'd like. I am thoroughly enjoying my new furniture (another purchase that has been needing to happen for a long time) and always enjoy decorating.

Well, I guess that's enough to get basically caught up for now. But stay tuned! The year has just begun!

Crazy, crazy October!

Don't drop dead from shock! Yes, I am updating the blog!  It's been long enough and there are big things happening in our family that I am excited to share.  One of my goals as we set out on our new adventure is to start blogging regularly again.  October has been a ridiculously crazy month and it completely flew by me!  In September Ben applied for a new job in Salt Lake City and had been through two of the three tiers of the interview process and we waited almost three weeks to hear anything and finally resigned ourselves to the fact that he did not get it.  As soon as we accepted that fact, he was offered the job.  Go figure.  I remember it was a Friday and I was so excited!  I'm not going to lie, it had been a pretty rough year for Ben working at the tire shop.  His back and knees were really starting to hurt him chronically and the work environment was certainly less than uplifting and it was never meant to be a career path for him.  I am truly grateful that at a time when things were extremely difficult for us that we were able to get that job and that it enabled us to get back on our feet, but I am so incredibly grateful now to see him free of it.  Anyway, he is now working as a Career Services Advisor for Steven's-Henager College online.  He gets to work with one of his old mission companions, so that makes it fun for him too.  He is working with students on writing resumes, networking, making contacts with businesses, etc. to help them get jobs.  So the day he was offered the job he, somewhat gleefully, put in his notice at the tire shop and we started making plans.  Then came the REAL craziness!  On the 10th we had our ultrasound and got to get a good look at our third son.  While there was certainly part of me that was hoping for a little girl, when I got to see this little guy's face on the 3D ultrasound (first time we had gotten to do that!) I was in love.  And if I'm allowed to brag a little bit, I do think I make some pretty darn cute boys.  And there's something someone told me that that has really stuck with me; that boys really love their mommies.  And it is so true!  Not that little girls don't love their moms, but there's no doubt my boys are mama's boys, even though there are many times I think I am much less than deserving of such love (and even though there are sometimes when I really wish they would go to Dad's side of the bed when they're up in the middle of the night).  So in case anyone was wondering, we are very happy and excited about having another boy.  A few days later we had a big birthday bash to celebrate all the boys' birthdays since we were going to be sending Ben off to SLC to start working and he would unfortunately miss Logan and Garrett's actual birthdays.  We had a blast!  We took the boys to a really fun pumpkin patch that had these big hay-bail towers with big tubes for slides and mattresses the kids could jump onto, and the inside of the pyramid was a maze.  It was a gorgeous day and the boys played to their hearts content .  We did go through the corn maze as well, but the boys got pretty bored with that after a while and wanted to go back to the towers.  My mom and my sister Beth came too and it was such a fun afternoon.  Afterward we went back to my parents house and the boys went on a treasure hunt to find all their presents. They got some great stuff and had such a wonderful day.  The next day we bid farewell to Daddy.  It was certainly hard to see him go, knowing that until we were able to move we would only be seeing him on the weekends and I'm not going to lie, the idea of being a pregnant, working, single parent while trying to get ready to move was daunting to say the least.  So the boys and I were on our own, I was still working as a 7th grade Special Ed aide (which I loved) up until the 26th, and we had decided to give our notice to our landlords so we could save money in November to help us move.  I worked, the boys rotated babysitters (thank you, thank you, thank you to those who took care of them for me), I tried to get as much packing done as I could in my spare time, and tried to get the boys outside as much as possible to enjoy the last of the nice weather.  I finally had my last day of work and even though I was sad to go, it has been a huge relief to be able to focus on my kids and moving.  It is always so nice to have Ben home for the weekend and we try to play as much on Saturdays as we can, while we still tried to get packing done.  On Halloween we signed the lease for our new place!  Hooray!  Finally this last Friday Ben got the day off to come home and help me and we finished all the packing, moving out, and cleaning that day!  And we got it all done in time for me to come down with a wicked cold. Ah well, at least I have the next week for some R&R as the boys and I are staying with my parents until we finally move next Saturday.  So only one more week apart from Ben, and then the adventure begins.  We are so excited not just for this new job opportunity that is opening new doors for Ben, but for new experiences in a new place.  (And I'm pretty excited for having a fireplace!) So......more posts to come!  See.....I told ya this would be the year of the Floyds.  We're making a comeback!

 Ben and Logan on the hay-bail tower

 Disappearing into the corn maze

 Handsome little birthday boy

 Fireboys to the rescue!

 My big 5-year-old

 Ready to go Trick-or-Treating!

 Logan's awesome shark-face!

The Year of the Floyds!

Hello, Friends.
Forgive me for my long, long absence.  It has been too long since I've updated.  Now that 2011 is behind us, I feel more inclined to start up again with keeping the blog.  Truth be told, I am truly not sad to see this past year go.  It was a rather difficult one for our little family.  We are very much excited to begin a new year with faith and hope for the future, ready to hit the ground running.  Yes, folks, I think 2012 is the year of the Floyds!  One thing to be said for 2011, we did have a wonderful Christmas! My whole family was together for Christmas for the first time in many years.  It did my heart good to be surrounded by all my siblings, as well as my own sweet boys whose eyes were alight with the magic and excitement of the season.  It was the cutest thing in the world on Christmas eve when Logan was so excited he couldn't fall asleep and kept getting up to let us know that he heard St. Nicholas on the roof!  Ben got his electric guitar that he has lovingly (and somewhat jokingly) named Natasha, and has spent many a post-work evening jammin' away with his pocket rock-it amp.  Santa Claus brought me a vintage style cruiser bike I fell in love with over the summer.  She is a thing of beauty, complete with a basket on the front.  I only wish the weather were warmer now so I could really use it.  I did take it for it's maiden voyage down the block and back on Christmas Day.  Hopefully it won't be too long before it can come out of the shed again.  Ben gave me a ukulele, which I am very excited about.  Some of you may not know this about me, but I have long harbored a wish to learn to play the ukulele.  One of my roommates in college had one and I loved playing around with it.  So that has been really fun for me the past few weeks as I've picked up some chords and songs.  Logan got his Leapster, which has been a lot of fun for him, and also his Melissa and Doug wooden castle with a whole playset of knights and horses and a canon and catapult.  It is SO much fun to see his imagination at work as he makes up stories and battles.  Garrett got a few small toys and a toy story foldable papasan chair, and....a broom. Yup.  A little toy broom that he LOVES pushing all around the kitchen.  He has always had a thing for brooms.  To each his own, right?  Anyway, the whole day was wonderful.  Since then we have been focused on what we want to accomplish this year.  We are looking forward to finding a better job for Ben, moving out of my parents house, and we hope, we hope, we hope....moving to Boise.  Until then, we are doing really well.  We really are.

Love from the Floyds

P.S. I promise I will post pictures soon.

Growing Boys

Hello hello from the great state of Texas! And by great, I really only mean large.  We have only been here a month, but neither of us has felt that this is a place we could really call home.  But for now we are having some fun, getting tan, and enjoying a dishwasher, and washer and dryer (wooohooo!).  I still feel so incredibly fortunate everytime I use them.  I can get my dishes done in less than 15 minutes!  Anyhoo.....there really isn't much to report, so I thought I would just post some pictures of my growing boys for all our family and friends who haven't seem them in a long time.....or ever, in Garrett's case.  Enjoy!

P.S. We miss everyone like crazy!  And to my family: I cannot WAIT to see you guys in two weeks for Emily's wedding!!!!

 Watching Elmo's World together

 Wearing Daddy's hat

 Logan climbed in Garrett's crib to read him a story

 Ready to go swimming!

 The boys and I had a movie night together last week. We watched Toy Story 2 and made Fruit Loop and Marshmallow kebabs.

 And Garrett found the pile of Fruit Loops

 Logan's "I don't know" face.

 The face he makes when he knows I'm trying to get a picture of him without him realizing.

 Garrett LOVES to swing!  This was taken at a park in Clayton, New Mexico where we stopped to rest on the long journey to Houston.

 A very rare picture of Logan busting up laughing

Garrett working on crawling (he's SO close) at our apartment.....one of the three days we lived here without furniture.

Here's something I never thought I'd say.....

We're moving to Texas!  Sudden?  Yes.  Permanent? No......at least, not likely.  Probably about a month or so ago, Ben's brother Toby called us up and asked if Ben would consider working with him in Houston for the summer selling alarm systems (not for Apex....FYI).  After much deliberation we decided (on Toby's suggestion) that Ben would go to Houston for two weeks to give it a try and see how it went.  If he felt like it would be worth our time, then we would go.  If not, Ben had his lawn-mowing job still lined up here in the 'Burg.  Meanwhile, all forces of opposition were conspiring against us to make things as difficult as possible.  First of all, mid-March, on our way home from Utah after seeing my brother come home from his mission, our transmission blew.  According the guys in Pocatello (where we had to have it towed) it was as shot as it could get.  Lucky for us they had a cap on how much they could charge.  Even still, we shoveled out a pretty penny (plus an arm, a leg, and a kidney) to pay for our transmission to be re-manufactured.  Three weeks later, we finally got the car back on the way for another trip to Utah, this time to say goodbye to Ben as he headed off to Texas.  The boys had been a little sick, and got much worse after Ben left, so I took them to the InstaCare in Logan where I was told in one of those doctor-ish tones that makes you feel like a horrible, neglectful parent that Logan had a very bad ear infection (nigh unto bursting) and RSV.  Garrett also had slight ear infections, plus a bad case of RSV, and his SATs were so low they were considering hospitalizing him.  Luckily, after the most heartbreaking chest x-ray (seriously....if your baby has ever had one, I'm so sorry...it's awful!) they decided it wasn't necessary, but put him on albuterol treatments every four hours.  You can bet the next few days were a real treat for the three of us!  After hanging out in Utah with my family, we headed back to Rexburg, with my mom behind us to help me while Ben was gone.  A few days later I went to the dentist to get a check-up to get any work done before I went off my parents insurance after my birthday.  It was a new dentist I'd never been to before.  I came home in tears, with the news that I had 13 bad cavities and was in need of a root canal and two crowns!  Shoot me!  I know I am prone to cavities, but it has NEVER been that bad, even when I was young and horrible about caring for my teeth.  I cried pretty much all day, not just because I HATE having dental work done (I almost think I'd rather give birth), but the cost was estimated near $5000 and my parents insurance capped at $1500.  Maybe that's too much info, but seriously, I had no idea how I was going to pay the rest and the dentists office was completely unwilling to work out a payment plan.  I felt sick about it all day, until that evening I happened to come across some reviews online for this dentist and found out that I wasn't the only one this had happened to and was urged to get a second opinion.  So, feeling much better about things, I made an appointment at another dentist the next day.  The prognosis: 4 small cavities and a root canal (on a tooth that had been filled improperly, darn it).  Needless to say, I was shocked at the dishonesty of the 1st dentist.  Still not so fun getting it done (I spent 5 days at the dentist in 1 week), but way better than 13, plus all the other stuff.  So at least that worked out.  We finally got that behind us and were looking forward to Ben coming home, when the car started to act funny.  We had already decided that we were going to move to Texas, so we were set to move just as soon as Ben got back and we could get packed and gone.  But as soon as Ben got home, it was apparent that the car would need some serious work done.....again.  To spare you a long and complicated explanation, the car was towed back to Pocatello to the transmission shop where the transmission was rebuilt again (luckily, under warranty) and we had to push back moving.  So here we are....we've been packing all week, and we just got our car back last night, and Tuesday is the big day we pull out of here forever, because there's nothing bringing us back.  We've waited a long time for our chance to get out of Rexburg and start moving on with our post-college life, and while it is taking a risk income-wise with a commission-based job, we couldn't stay here anymore, waiting for something to change.  Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  Well, that's basically what our life in Rexburg has been like for the past 2 years, and we decided we couldn't pass up this opportunity to change that.  So....off to Houston we go.  The apartments they're putting us up in are amazing, with a pool, and only a block away from an enormous park, museums, a zoo, and tons of other stuff for us to do.  We are getting really excited!  And a little sad to leave, because as much as we complain about it, Rexburg has been home.  Anyway, long, long post....I'm sorry, but that's what been going on with us, and I wanted to bid farwell!  Thank you to all the wonderful people who have made living here a joy.  We have some wonderful friends adn we love you all.  I'll make sure to share about all our new adventures in the great (humid) state of Texas!  Bye, y'all!

P.S. Garrett is over 6 months old now.  Crazy!!!!

My adorable boys!

Bless this Baby

 Yesterday some of my most favorite men in the world stood in a circle, holding my precious little Garrett and blessed him in front of our family and friends.  Ben gave the most beautiful blessing and afterward we took pictures and went to my brother's apartment for a pancake brunch before our parents had to leave.  It was so much fun having them here and we wish it could have been longer.  Oh, and before I get to the pictures, I just have to mention a personal triumph.  I finished Garrett's quilt!  I am SO incredibly proud of it, not only because it turned out so cute, but also because it is THEE first quilt I have ever made and completed!  So exciting!  While pregnant with Garrett, I totally got bit by a quilting bug and am now working on completing two flannel Christmas quilts for the boys, as well as another quilt I started a long time ago, and also have ideas in mind for another.  I do have to mention that a friend of my mom's did the quilting for me and did a great job, and my mom did the binding so she could show me how so I can do it myself from now on, but the rest of the handiwork is mine.  We finished it just in time for Garrett's blessing.  See pictures below!