Christmas Day at the Smith house!!

Christmas Day at our house starts very early in the morning!!! Well our days usually start early anyway.  Our oldest wakes up at 5am every morning.  What can I say Joseph is just an early riser!!!  He woke up and wanted to open presents and we told him it was not time to yet.  Go watch a movie and let us all sleep please, are the words that we found ourselves repeating for the next 3 hours each time another little one would join Joseph.  We do not get out of bed until around 8am.  It was fun to listen as the last one was up and all the kids were in the living room talking about what they thought Santa had brought them.  It was pretty fun hearing them all giggle and converse about what their most wanted gift was and how they had hoped that Santa had not forgotten to bring it.  The night before I had made doughnuts and a breakfast casserole for breakfast in the morning.  That was the best idea because who wants to cook Christmas morning especially sense I had been up sense 5am.  Now because Christmas falls on a Sunday this year we usually do not open presents until after church but David thought that it would be to long to wait until 2pm.  So we went ahead and opened them and then I got to go back to bed!!!! Merry Christmas to me I got to sleep in, kind of I mostly just laid in bed and listened to the kids playing having a good old time with an occasionally kiss and hug from them as they came in and out of my room.  What sweet kids I have!!!  We all got ready for church and went to Church and sang songs the whole time, one of my favorite things to do!! I am also a part of our ward choir and we sang 2 songs as well it is amazing to watch the congregation as we sing to them.  The spirit that touches each of them even the little children as we sing with all our hearts!!!  I feel like music is one of the most powerful ways in which we can share the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Spirit speaks so powerful to each one that listens!!
I am grateful for this Holiday and the Special time that is set aside for each of us to ponder and think of Jesus Christ and the Power of His birth born to very simple parents in a very lowly place.  May we all remember that Simple is better and that all we really need is to be like the Savior, for he had all he needed.  He taught us that in order to be happy we must follow him and do as he did.  Serving those around him and loving everyone no matter what or who they were.  This is the true meaning of Christmas.  I hope that all of you have  had a Simple yet Special Christmas.  Merry Christmas to all!!!

One month ago I was separated from a dear friend but only for a short moment then I shall again be reunited with her!!

One month ago my wonderful mother left this world to further her Fathers work in the 
Spirit World!!!  She was valiant here in this earthly existence and she continues to be valiant in the Spirit world.  I will always cherish the moments that we have made here in this earth life and look forward when we can talk about them again and laugh together again!!!  But even more that we will be able to experience so much more together some day!!! I would like to share with you a few moments that we did have and post some pics as well. She was one of my best friends and in the last 12 years we have become very close!!!  


Here we are all of my brothers and me and my cousin Janae.  Mom always provided us with Spiritual experience to grow from!!!  Today one of my most favorite places to visit it temple square!!  I love the special feeling I get when I walk on that hallowed ground!!

In this picture we lived in IL.  Mom and Dad just got married and I remember being so happy to have a daddy again!!! I remember mom and dad trying to gather everyone up to take this picture and I remember be so happy.  Even at age 5 I could tell that mom was very happy to have dad by her...  This meant I could not climb into her bed and snuggle as often anymore though.

 This is Me Mom Joseph and Allie the Summer of 2002.  Mom always was there for us when ever we asked!! She and the Family came down for Allison's baby blessing!!  It was a fun time!!!  One of our favorite past times when getting together meant going out shopping and leaving the guys behind!!!  She always had a smile on her face always!!!

 Though I do not have many memories of me when I was very young I do know that My mother was a strong mother and relied on many of her sisters from relief society at this time in her life!!!  She also got great strength  from her family!!! I can relate some what to having so many small ones and always being pregnant.  I do remember feeling safe and secure in my mommies arms as a toddler!!!  And when I was a bit older I remember Mom scolding me and my brothers for going out to play in the mud after she had just bathed us!!! I did not see what the problem was then but as a mother of many small children now I totally see how much work it must have been to bathe us again and again and keep us clean!!! Oh one of the many joys of motherhood!!!

 Mom loved her family and I have learned from her how important a family is to each of us!!! We must stick together through the trials that come to each of us for there in a family lies the strength to overcome each one of our trials!!  How great this has been for me to have these relationships with my aunts and uncles and cousins.  Mother was always happy to see her family her sisters and brothers. To hear all the stories she had to tell about all the trips and memories she made with her family will be cherished forever.  I am grateful for the stories she wrote out and for this summer when we got a few of them on video!!! Mom thank you for showing me what family really is!!!

 A fresh start..  I do not remember much of this picture or where it was even taken or even when it was taken but I always loved looking at us and seeing moms smile we were so so happy, each of us in our own unique personality we truly loved life at this time in our lives!!! Thank you mom for that contagious smile it was much appreciated!!!  I still try smiling even though it may be through tears at times I still try to look for the joy that life has to offer!!!  There is always gold at the end of the rainbow!!! You showed us this every time!!!

 In this picture we were all at Aunt Mary and Uncle Ricks house!!!  I always felt so warm and happy around all of Dads brothers and sisters!!  Mom was showing us the fish in the pound out back of Aunt Mary's house!!  She always took every moment she could to teach us and share her love with nature with each of us as well.  There were so many ways in which she did this.  Her smile was always contagious!!!

 This is often how I saw my mom reading a book out side!!! This was the summer we lived with aunt Jenny and Uncle Dan!!! We played outside in the back yard and mom would lay outside in the law chair so happy watching us play and reading a good book with her sunglasses on!!! I always wanted to be doing what she was doing so she went in for a few seconds an me and my cousin Leah each took turns bathing in the sun!!! We were caught and her I am in all my 5 year old glory trying to be just like my fun loving mother!!!

This was after a very long drive home I was very blessed to be at my mothers side!!  I had been in a very bad single car roll over accident.  I was lucky to be alive and walking around!  This was a time when I would learn not to take family for granted.  I had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner and vacation before going back to college.  What a blessing for having wonderful family to get me home.  Uncle Nate drove me half way and Dad picked me the rest of the way home to Pasco!!  Thanks giving with Mom always brought yummy food and fun games with the family!!!  

And here last but not least for now This is most of our Family at the temple!!! Mom always attended the temple though she never lived very close to a temple she always made sacrifices to find the time and attend temple.  She always taught me by example the importance of the Covenants she made with Dad and her Father in Heaven there in the Temple by living her life each day in a way she would make Christ happy!!!

Mom was rarely sad.  And even when she was she always tried to make the situation she was in happy.  She learned from her mistakes and then shared with us her experiences that made her a stronger person...  Maybe in hopes that we would not have to suffer as she did.  Mom is the most amazing person I know.  She is full of love and compassion towards all that surround her!!  

You are still very near just out of reach to me, I know that your love and compassion will not die with your body but instead you are sharing it still.  I can not wait for the day that we shall all be reunited again.  

As I drove away in early October some how I knew that that would be the last time I saw you healthy!!! I remember you crying as I drove off through my own tears!!! My heart ached for you!!! I wish I could have stayed longer, or I wish I could have taken me with you for that week we had planned!!! But that was not to be.  You were needed at home your time with your little ones was needed more than my time with you was needed!!  As I drove home  I remembered all the fun times we had together and the memories we had.  Then I pondered about not having you to talk to anymore.  The thought was unbearable, yet I knew it was to be!! And I knew that I needed to find peace with you being gone.  When I got home I called you daily and we would talk as if you were not sick.  And then over night you seemed to get sick again.  You told me you had thrown up your nasty pills you were destined to take the rest of your days!!!  And I asked you if you had let your Dr know this, you did not seem to be bothered by this till the second day in a row that you could not keep them down.  You and Dad finally called the Dr and had an appt with the Dr.  Although you had told me you wanted to wait til Nov 18th your next Dr appt that had already been scheduled, you went in and the news was disheartening, the cancer had returned and came with full force once again!! You did well for a few weeks.  Going in to have the parcentiseces which would relieve the pressure build up caused by the fluid build up.  It was Monday I called you and you were on your way in to have a routine paracentisis and lab work done.  Labs would show dangerously low blood pressure and extremely high potassium levels and low sodium levels.   You were disappointed that you were admitted to the hospital.  And wished you could come home.  Maybe the next day you said to me you would come home!! Not the case as we all know now.  We all of us never could have imagined that this would be last time we would see you.  Laying in the hospital getting sicker by the day!! I talked with Dad everyday to see how you were as you were sleeping more and more and starting to not make much sense.  On Wednesday I talked with Dad and he said the time was close and we would loose you soon maybe within the next week.  I talked with Aunt Sally and we all decided that it was time to come and see you she would not be able to leave til Sunday and I wanted to leave as soon as I could.  I prayed that I would be able to know when to leave.  On Friday I woke up and knew that was the day I needed to leave.  I volunteered at the school that morning , came home packed and loaded the car, and loaded Sammie Micheal and Allie up and left for Salt Lake to Meet Uncle Mike who would so unselfishly drive with me the next day to Kansas.  We left Saturday Morning and drove through the night talking and remissing about memories.  I am blessed with the best family in the world.  As I worried about Uncle Mike and him driving for 17 hours he assured me he was just fine!!!  All I have to say is 5 hour energy!!! I slept on and off that night, anticiapating our arrival to mom's.  We got there at 5am and even though I wanted to race to the hospital I knew we would all need our sleep after being up all day.  We slept for a few hours til all the kids and Amy and Emily got up.  We all decided to go up to the hospital and be with mom.  Nothing would prepare me for how I saw mom.  I walked in the room and mom breathed heavy as she slept.  She must have sensed we came in the room because when she woke up she was very excited to see us and quite surprised to see us as well.  She seemed confused and had a hard time knowing where she was.  She was trapped it seemed in an in between place and did not know what to do.  We stayed there all day long it was a day filled with emotion.  I knew she would go really soon, I knew I was going to beattending her funeral on Sat.  I knew this all but ask me if I wanted to admitt any of it.  I always have had perminsions to when things would happen.  I felt in that room the presense of her family that had passed on before her.  I would catch myself looking up wondering what they were thinking and knowing they were hugging all of us and at times I could feel our spirits communicate.  It was at this moment though mom was asleep her spirit spoke to me saying Sally I must go now they are calling for me,  take care of everyone and teach them with your example.  I love you she said and with out words I too told her this as I sat and held her hand!!  Tears welled up in my eyes as I knew this was the last time I would see her in this mortal life. The one thing I regret looking back was being to timid to share an impression I received for all of us to sing primary songs to Mom around her bed.   It was time for us to go home and put the kids to bed and be with the girls at home.  We all left and to go home.  I decided that after I got the kids in bed I would go back up to the hospital, but a voice came as clear as the sun shines to me saying No stay home tonight you are needed here Your mom will be fine she is with those that love her!!!  The girls needed me to be there with them.  At 5:45 we woke up and did family scriptures.  The phone rang and it was Dad making sure we were up.  We were just having prayer and so we included him on speaker phone for prayer and then we talked and he said mom was not doing well and now would be a good time to call everyone and let them know we needed to come. I called Laura and Seth and Jacob called Lanny. Michael and Jacob were already there at the hospital with Dad.  I called a sitter who came over to be with my children and The girls were getting ready for school.  Emily was going to go to the hospital but Amy wanted to go to School.  It was 6:35 and we were busy getting ready when Jacob called and said "She is Gone".  My heart sunk as I stood in Emily's room watching her get ready, knowing that I now had to do something very hard, tell my baby sister about her mom leaving this earthly existence.  We hugged and cried and it was then that I had realized that the girls truly would need me that morning.  Mom needed me to tell them and knew I would be able to.  I then went and found Amy in her bedroom and All three of us girls hugged and cried as we told Amy.  It had been 15 mins and the rest of the house was quiet.  Allie and Uncle Mike were down stairs and the two other kids were sleeping.  I walked down stairs knowing I still needed to tell Allie and Uncle Mike.  It did not get easier and the pain did not go away.  I told Uncle Mike who in return gave me a great big Uncle Mike hug.  To have Uncle Mike there with us was a blessing in so many ways.  I then told Allison that Grandma was now living with Heavenly Father in Heaven, she was sad but happy at the same time.  The understanding and resilience of a child is remarkable!!! Shortly after 7 the sitter was her for the kids and we loaded into the car and Uncle Mike drove all us girls to the Hospital to be with the rest of the family members gathering. We all had a final family prayer, and said our good byes to her body now lifeless.  I knew that she was there with us all in the room.  She was not dead she was still living just in a spiritual sense. That day was weird.  I felt like I should be sad but I was not I was happy.  Mom did not want us to be sad and cry over her, she had taught us to trust in God and have faith in him and all that he taught!!!  So for a few days I held it together.  But me being the one that was strong had to have a breaking point.  And I did.  I am was grateful to be around family that would comfort me that week.  The hugs from my Uncles and Aunts were much needed and the long talks with them as well.  The Lord gives us family to get through trials in life we must endure.  As we find ways to endure though hard may be the path, those family members come out of the wood works waiting and ready to help rescue each of us in their  own unique way.  They may think that what they are doing is just a small token but to the ones receiving it knows no greater blessing!!!  To my husband for giving me the space I need at this time, and the support that I need as well from him.  To my brother Jacob thank you for calling me and listening to me when I call you even though I may cry more then talk.  I truly love you!!! To Dad thank you for calling me.  As I have said it is still painful to call home knowing mom is not there.  Thank you Dad for talking to me and loving me!! It is hard to be so far away I at times feel helpless and want to fly on a plane and just give you a big hug!!!  To Aunt Sally for letting me call her and come over and visit when I need to!! To Uncle Mike who daily exchanges texts with me!!  It truly has helped me meet each challenge that has come.  Just getting to know my Uncle Mike and knowing  that he has lost wife my Aunt as well gives me strength to go on, taking it one day at a time.   For the Sacrifices he has made through this whole journey with each of us!! His wisdom and knowledge and his compassion that he shares with all of us.  I talked with Dad one night after Mom had left and he said that Uncle Mike being there was a pure blessing from God and It helped Dad so much in those first few weeks after Mom's passing. To my cousin Preston for his confidence that he has in me and for his listening ear as well, I thank each and every one of you , it has not gone unnoticed.   The list could go on and on But to all that have reached out to me and loved me and my family have felt I am over joyed.  

I have put off writing this but knew I had time too with the kids and David going Christmas Shopping.  It has been emotional for me and tears have flowed ever so much as the pain of this experience surfaces when I talk about  it.  A subject that I need to talk about in order to heal but at the same time a hard one that I try to avoid.  So do not be afraid to call me and talk to me and if  cry it is not because I do not want to talk about it, it is because it is hard to think about my mom not having her here at my side.  I want to talk about her and about all the experiences that I had this summer with her, so if I cry just be patient with me it is part of my healing process part of who I will become.  A stronger person because of this trial I am going through.  The scripture D&C 121 7-9 comes to mind :

"My son, ^apeace be unto thy soul; thine ^badversity and thine afflictions shall be but a ^csmall moment;

 8 And then, if thou ^aendure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy ^bfoes.

 9 Thy ^afriends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.

The Peace of the Gospel and the knowledge of the Scriptures that I have has brought me the added peace and comfort that I have needed right now!!!  So just because I cry does not me that I am always sad it just means that I am one more step to healing and learning to live with out my mom by my side.  Please do not stop asking me of my mom or how I am doing because it helps me.  Thank you all for all of the support you give to me!!! You truly will never know the meaning and blessings it brings to my heart!!  

I love you all and Mom I love you and miss you and know that you are in a happy place teaching those that are ready to hear and accept the gospel and might I add with that great big smile that you always have!! 

Ok 4 hours latter I am finally done!!!

Love to all

Sallyann

7 years old today Spencer where has the time gone!!!

Wow I can not believe that it has been 7 years already.  Time flies by so fast!!! It was 7 years ago this morning.  I was cleaning my house and feeling really lousy.  I just wanted to sleep but being 9 months pregnant and sleep did not mix.  I started having contractions around 1pm they were not bad just a little hard.  By 4:30 I called David and my cousin.  When David got home we went walking and the contractions got harder.  I had to stop for the contractions now and breath.  My cousin Janae came over and sat with the kids.  We went to the hospital around 6pm.  I was admitted and less then 3 hours latter we had this beautiful baby boy in our arms.  He has always been a tender hearted boy.  He has never liked loud voices and has shown true kindness and love his whole life.   We love you Spencer!!!!

Always has a smile and is a ray of sunshine where ever he is!!

Spencer is 4 months here and loves to smile at everyone that comes near him!!!

Happy Birthday Spencer Thomas Smith

The things kids say while in time out

My three boys are having a hard time going to bed tonight. Spencer is in the corrner and here is his words. My eyes are hurting, my legs hurt and my toes are really hurting. Kids can become so creative when they want attention. Love love it!!! Oh the lessons kids learn!!!

I posted my first chapter (almost complete)

If you are family and would like to read my book I am working on please leave a comment with your email!! I will add you.

Wow Can I say what a great day it has been

I have been filled spiritually today. This morning I went to choir practice (what I look forward to all week) I love our choir director and the music she picks out. It is gorgious. If you want to see what songs we are working on and singing this month here are the links (can not get the links to work will post them when I get a chance!!





We had a wonderful Sacrament meeting about our Savior and the love he has for each of us. I am in constant need of this reminder and what he does for us.
In Sunday school we studied out of the book of Revelation. We talked about when Christ would come again and what we needed to do to prepare ourselves to be with him again. There are many things that the world would and can offer us to make us happy. But nothing that the world can offer us can bring us lasting happiness. The only one that can bring us lasting happiness is our Savior and every thing that he has to offer. Rev. 2:26 " And he that overcometh and keepeth my works unto the end to him will I give power over the nations." It made me think about what I am doing now in my life to climb the ladder leading to the Savior the steps that I must take to please my Father in Heaven. I love these constant reminders to do better. Our leaders are truely inspired when they ponder over what we are to be taught. I am grateful for living Prophets and Apostle to guide us and direct us in the pathway to our Savior Jesus Christ.

I am in the process of writing a book called "My Journey with the Savior". Today was a day filled with inspired thoughts and directions for me in this process. I never imagined this would be so difficult but as I write, I want my readers to know the Savior and gain a love for Him through my words. I want my family to know that I tried every day to be a little more like the Savior.

Santa's Work Shop is set up and it is time to play!!

Yesterday I worked on Santa's Work Shop.  Going through donations and organizing them onto tables so that on Monday Morning we can open up shop and watch the excitement of these little kids beam with joy as they pick out gifts for their loved ones!!!  I have to admit being at the school from 8:30am to 7pm with only a 2 hour break can make one do very funny things and silly things.  As witnessed in this video.  My friend and her girls helped set up along with Allison's teacher!!  Thank you to all of you who helped.  After we finished Ashley and I had a light saber match up with lots of laughter her is a short clip of the incident.  What fun times!!!   

Today is going well! Santa's Workshop elves at work:)

Today I just have to say I love it so far. Being busy is who I am. I love volenteering it is who I am!! Something that was taught to me at a very early age, 5 or 6 years of age. I remember My Aunt taught us a scripture that we memorized Mosiah 2:17, "When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." I not only memorized it but I took it literal at that young of an age and followed the counsel of this scripture every sense. My most favorite memories are when I would help someone out. This week and next week we are at the school setting up and then doing a Santa's Workshop. This is so much fun and a lot of excitement for the kids. They get to bring $1 and in return can shop for 2 presents for family members. What a lot of fun!!

To get ready there is a lot of work that has to be done, including sorting donations setting up tables and much more... We love it and can not wait to see the look on the childrens faces as they come in next week!!!

Merry Christmas Lewis and Clark kids we love you!!!!

Closed minded not good at all

Why is it that I am so closed minded at times. I am grateful for the Book of Mormon and the peace I reive when I read it! Some times life is not fair or so one would think. But when we look at the big eternal perspective of things we will understand that the Lord needed us to go in this direction. I have found that trusting in the Lord with all my heart is the safest thing I can do right now. Yet some times the narural man tries to come and close my heart and make me have thoughts that are destructive to my spirit. I am grateful for the still small voice of my guardian angel that has guided me in so many ways coupled with the whispering of the spirit to lead me back into line and help me feel peace and comfort once again.

Love to all
Sallyann

I am writing again A book " My Journey as I walk with The Savior"

I have decided to write a book something that I have wanted to do sense High School just never found the time. I am doing it now because each day is precious. I want My Family and Friends to know and read my Testimony of The Savior Jesus Christ. It has been a journey unlike anything else and I wanted to share some of what I wrote tonight with you.

I hope that as you read you will feel a warmth and Know that that is the Spirit of testifying to you of his love for his children.

Gods greatest creation is us. He created us, what a selfless act. He loved us so much that he wanted us to have the same experiences that he did. We can become more like him everyday. By serving others we can help and lift each other and as we do this we will see Gods hand in our lives more abundantly. In Mosiah 18:8- 10 it describes how we can be come more like the Savior in all our actions and deeds. If we want to be counted and brought into his fold, we must do, that is act on situations. Making each others burdens lighter, that the load may be bearable. Willing to morn with those that morn. Comfort those that are in need of comfort. Stand as a witness of Christ at all times no matter what situation arises. For as we do this we gain the blessing of a life abundantly and richly blessed by the Holy Ghost. True Happiness comes from serving God and his children, it comes from emulating charity which is the pure love of Christ. Each time I serve our Father in Heavens Children my faith is strengths. Knowing that I was able to help someone become happier. Yet many times when serving others I feel I get blessings as well. Knowing that the Lord loves each of his children just the same makes me look at them through the Saviors Eyes as if he were there himself. Sometimes this comes more natural other times the Natural man takes affect as stated in Mosiah 3:19 "For the Natural man is an enemy to God an has been from the fall of Adam, and will be forever and ever unless he yields to the enticing of the Holy Spirit and putteth of the Natural man, and becomes a saint through the atonement of Christ our Lord. And becometh as a child, submissive meek humble meek patient full of love willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

My thoughts are scattered tonight

When My Mom passed away 2 weeks ago, my heart was stirred. I was reminded again of a scripture that came to me 20 years earlier when my Aunt Linda Passed. In Alma 34:31-36 the plan of Salvation is discussed. It hits me to the core every time. Especially in now when it comes full circle for me. Having just lost my mother and watching her and taking care of her this summer was a joy. We talked about many things, things she wished she could have more time to do them and things that she knew she had done, and was proud of. I think we all have those same thoughts of that was a great accomplishment of wow I can not believe I have not yet done that may be tomorrow I will work on doing that. Yet tomorrow never comes for that one thing we keep wanting to do.

So in Alma 34:33 And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many awitnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed.

Mom always wanted to write a book for children. But to my knowledge she never was able to. I have sense high school had a great love for my Savior and all that he has done for me, in fact My Senior Term Paper was on the Life of Christ. I have on an off tried to write a book that I would be able to share with others that would strengthen there testimony of him. I decided after my mom passed that I could no longer wait and so I have started this endeavor. I have started another blog called A work in progress.

I have been having a hard time concentrating to night and was disappointed that I was only able to write 1 paragraph. But none the less I did write. I wanted to find my journals that I had in middle school because it has the account and the impressions that I received in a dream that cautioned me about this year. I must be prepared for this year. I have seen the Lords hand in all things and he never ceases to amaze my spirit. I am going to look again tomorrow and see what I can see?

I thank him for the amazing Family and Friends that he has given me to help me through this life. For it is with them that the Plan of Salvation makes perfect sense, for I want to be with my family forever and I can only do this by using the road map laid out to each of us in the scriptures.

My love to all.

I miss her today

I am home and life is not quite the same anymore, yet I still feel her near me. I miss her today. Sometimes I just need to cry and it is ok. All evening I have been somewhat sad. On top of that I am not feeling the greatest. I have been quite shakey, and my heart keeps racing and almost passed out. I took a nap and now am wide a wake and feel a bit better. This is hard because I would always call my mom and ask her medical questions and she is no longer on the other end of the phone. Oh Mom you are missed greatly I will never forget you and one day we will be reunited again!! I love you Mom.

My trip home from Kansas a bitter sweet one

i am sure I will write more soon but it is late so I will just recap my journey home. My heart aches for my Mom and Dad as death has temperarely separated their bodies. yet I know that soon they will be reunited again soon. Not soon enough some days, like Tuesday Morning when I took my children loaded them in the car and with my Uncle gave my Dad one last hug goodbye before making the 1200 mile journey from Kansas back to Idaho. That was difficult. I am what you call a closet cryer so rarely I show emotion but inside I was sobbing, aching for my Dad, and also knowing when I come back in a year my mother will no longer be there to hug and laugh with.

Me my Uncle and my 3 children Allison Michael and Sammie drove off at 10am we headed to moms grave before we left to say one last good bye. Then we were off. We drove all the way to Fort Collins a 10 hour drive from Baldwin City Kansas. We got to the Hotel just fine. Thank you uncle Mike for the nice comfortable room in which we were able to give your body a rest and a break from the 5 hour energy drinks. plus my kids learned who and how the tickle monster was, a fond childhood memory I still hold with me!!! We had family prayer and then calming down for bed. Uncle Mike came in to check on us and Sammie who had been sick with fever I sat up and and cold ice went down my back and the war was now on!!! For the next 10 or so minutes me and the kids laughed and giggled as we had an ice war with uncle mike and of course we won!!! but not before we all had ice down our shirts it was a fun time!! The kids call uncle mike the ankle eater because of his trade mark for wanting to eat ankles:) yes there was plenty of that as well!! I got all the kids bathed and in bed quietly!! We woke up the next morning and got ready,packed and while we ate breakfast Uncle Mike loaded the car for us!!

We drove the 8 hours only seeing a few snow flakes! We made it to Uncle Mikes and to a yummy home cooked meal made by my most awesome favorite Cousin Preston!!! Stir Fry Veggies and hummus and Roasted broccli. Talk about a yummy meal:) I got the kids down for bed and was able to have a little adult conversation. Sammie was still sick and I was blessed enough to have a priesthood holder in my mist:) Uncle Mike gave her a beautiful blessing and she fell right asleep.

Although Sammie was up most the night we seemed to be refreshed enough to get up at 7am. I had one goal in mind to get to the temple that morning. I had an amazing friend that helped me make this possible. Thanks Liz for watching my 3 kids!!! They had a blast and are still talking about all the fun things they did at your house!! Uncle Mike and I drove for the first time in silence to the temple. I wanted to go to a temple session ever sense Mom Passed on. Thank You Uncle Mike for taking me to the temple. It was truly an experience I shall never forget!! I have the best family support ever!! After we finished at the temple we went out to get a bite to eat it was very yummy. We then drove to the Airport so Uncle Mike could catch a flight out to visit his Mom.

I had a great opportunity to go with Liz and all our kids to temple square and enjoy the spirit that was present!! We spent about two hours wandering around and walking and talking it was so good to catch up!! We then drove back to Uncle Mikes and Preston's house and enjoyed pizza bread sticks and very large cookies it was fun!! Preston and I talked and talked and the kids watched a movie. It was so much fun!! Wish we lived closer together!! I love that I can talk to some people about everything and know that they understand and care.

As the evening wound down we all went to sleep and for the first time in a week I slept in until 8am. It felt nice. We mozied around and left around 11am. We went to Liz's house and visited for a while longer and ended up leaving around 1:30pm for the 5 hour drive to Caldwell.

Our drive was mostly uneventful. We made it to Tremonton UT before the snow hit. It was not heavy snow but it was still snow. It snowed until we got out of Burley Idaho. I have to say it was a white knuckle drive as soon as the car started to slide on the road, making our average speed around 35 mph. The kids were good and slept through the whole snow storm:) Putting on another 2 hours on our trip but knowing we were safe made it better. Shortly after the storm the kids woke up and we all stopped to rest, the kids ran and I unraveled my nerves and streched out my tight fingers!! All the while
I thought of my Mom and not being able to call her and talk to her as I would normally do on a trip like this. Oh how I miss my Mom she was such a strength an support to me. I told the kids we would stop and get a treat so we all had Wendy's Dollar menu for dinner, with ice water it hit the spot:) We arrived home just before 9pm and all of us were ready for bed. It was nice to have family scriptures and Family Prayer. Knowing that my children look forward to this daily reasures me that not only am I teaching them but the Spirit is doing the teaching as well. I am grateful for the testimonies that continue to grow inside each of us. I want to thank all those that made this trip bareble. I know that the Lord answers our prayers in ways we would never imagine.

Thank you to my amazing husband that even though he was unable to come along he was home with 3 of the kids taking care of them and sharing support over the phone and facebook. For his job that has afforded us to spend time 3 times in Kansas this summer. The Lord really does know our needs and watches over us when we need it the most.


My uncle Mike has been a source of strength for me driving with me to and from Kansas, providing a shoulder to cry on in the days after my Moms passing. And the comfort he was to my dad as he experienced this same expereince 20 years early with My Aunt Linda The blessing of him being on stand bye afforded 3 extra days with us between his busy fling schedule as a pilot. I thank him for every thing he has done to make this an easier transition to life without my mother by our sides. I love you Uncle Mike more than words can express.

Thanks to all my other friends that helped out you will never know the kindness I have felt by you guys.

Most of all to my Father in Heaven for providing peace and comfort in a much needed time.

Moms with her Father In Heaven peaceful and happily preparing a place for all her family and friends:)

Dad read out of her Journal today and shared with us some amazing things can not wait to be able to read more of her words because I can hear her voice as Dad reads them. We love and miss you, the peace that I feel in my heart is amazing but through music and her letters and words is where I get choked up. we did video this summer of her and we also watched those as well today.

The Final days are apporching

My dad called this morning and Mom is not stable enough to have a cath put into her to drain, nor is very stable to have the paresenthis done. The Cancer has conquered her and has won the fight with her body. Of which I have found peace with. Do not get me wrong this is one of the hardest things that I have had to go through thus far in my existence of 32 years. But knowing the most amazing women for 32 years has truly been a blessing to me. I remember so many things and times spent with my mom. I remember her love for music ran deep and she was always singing. Oh her voice when she would sing was like and angel. I loved listening to her and her sisters talk and laugh and cry and giggle. As a kid that was my favorite thing to do was to listen to all of them talk and reminisce about them growing up. Another great thing about my mom was her writing. She always intrigued us with her stories she wrote. She loved to write, and although she never published anything she was fantastic at it. Her many skits and sacrament meeting presentations whether for Christmas or primary were fantastic. I always would call her and ask her for ideas as I grew older and had many of the same callings she had had. The vision that she had about anything was always so perfect and she always pulled everything off just perfect as well. Her life of Service to Her Heavenly Father I am sure is why she is now being called to pass through the veil to the other side where she will continue to serve her Father in Heaven and His Children.

I am saddened by not having her here to hug and talk to on this earth and it will be hard to get used to but I am sure that in time and through prayer and faithfulness my heart will be lightened by the knowledge that I WILL SEE HER AGAIN. I know that this is just a blink of time for her and she will leave this world and the pain and suffering that she has endured now for 6 months. I am excited that my mother of whom I love so much will have a great reward as she embarks in this new journey and excitence on her path to perfection. The gift of the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ brings much joy to me at this time. Knowing that she will live again and in the flesh she and I will be able to hug and talk again. She is a remarkable lady of whom she will be missed greatly here on this earth. But I hope that I can take her legacy and share it with my children and grandchildren that they may know her through me.

When my wonderful Aunt pasted away in July of 1991 (my moms sister) at the age of 39, I was at a cross road in my life that could have taken me to a path I wish never to go down. It was a few months later in a dream that she came to me and as clear as day said "Sally you need to prepare your life so that you can be a forever family. Prepare your self for the year 2011" I was 13 years old and to most 13 year old's that are thinking about going down a path not supported by our Savior would have forgotten about a dream like that. But I have never forgotten anything my Aunt Linda has taught me. I changed how I was living and went through a lengthily repentance process. I had a wonderful teenage life full of friends that lead me to where I am today Married with a wonderful Priesthood holder to guide me and our 6 children to Eternal Life. Yet in the back of mind for so many years I thought back to this dream and the be prepared for 2011. When the year came I thought nothing of it until June when My brother called me at 7:30 am with the news that Mom had Cancer. With the few days that I had to prepare to make the trip to Kansas with our 6 children I went over in my head the ways in which the Lord helped me to prepare for this trial. I was struggling with my spiritual growth for some time and then last year I was asked to Substitute in Primary as the Chorister. I gladly did this for this had been a dream and passion of mine for ever sense I could remember. The testimony that I had was being strengthened by these amazing little children. Through the songs and simplicity of the primary gospel teaching it stirred a fire in me. I later was called as the chorister. I loved teaching the kids the gospel through music, the spirit was often so strong I had tears in my eyes as they sang. I soon was the called as a counselor in the primary with the best leader I could have asked for. She taught me so many things while I was in primary. It was the simplicity of the gospel, the studying of the scriptures that helped me to gain an even stronger testimony of the Divine Plan of Salvation and of Our Savior Jesus Christ a gift that I will always treasure. I knew that Christ our Savior knew that I needed these experiences in my life to prepare me for what I am now dealing with. He also knew that I would need the friends that he so carefully placed into my life at this time as well. One of my dearest friends besides my Mom and sisters Kendra what an example of strength she has been she gave me self confidence something I struggled with for a long time. And then to all my friends that I have met while volunteering in the kids school. Becky for her true love and support that she has been to me through this tuff time. Jolynne for her selfless acts of service that she has rendered to me. Many many more friends that I can not name all of them because they are numberless.

I know that it is through the love my Savior has for me that he has made me who I am right now. I know that everyone in my life have been my angels helping me to return to my Father in Heaven. Now My mother with Join her loved ones that have already gone on. Her Mom and Dad and Sister and Brother. They were family down here on earth and are now about to be reunited with yet another family member My mother. One step closer to the day that Christ will say to them Well done though good and faithful servant. I am grateful for the knowledge of the temple and its blessings and promises. I hope and pray that I can continue to live up to the high standard of being able to attend the temple that when Heavenly Father calls me home that I too can again live with my mother and aunt and grandparents and uncle I have yet to meet.

So in short I am sad that my time with my mom here on this earth is short but am grateful for the temple blessing that allows our family to not just be together til death do us part but for time and all eternity through the power of the priesthood and the sealing keys that Elijah restored in Kirkland Ohio in the Temple. I am truly grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and for the faithful priesthood holders that have made this possible in my lifetime.

My mother now will meet the Prophets great and old to which I am jealous that I am not by her side to do so with. But that is OK she will one day take my hand and introduce me to all the great and noble men and women!!! Mom will be a great missionary to our family and I will continue to do research for our ancestors who have gone before us and continue to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man through the promise of Elijah.

I write this now before my Mom is gone because I do not know what I will be feeling or how up to writing I will be after she is gone. I Pray that The Lord will give comfort to me as we embark on this new chapter for all involved!!!


MOM I LOVE YOU WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEAN!!!!YOU ARE THE BEST MOM EVER!!!!!

Another update on my mom

I talked to my dad this morning. Please pray that my moms labs will look better so she can have a paresentithis later today. This procedure helps her feel comfortable. The cancer produces fluid in her abdomen that has no place to go so it builds up. She usually has 4 litters that build up and it is very uncomfortable. So she looks forward to having this procedure done. Unfortanly when she went in this morning her labs were not good and the Dr said she needed to be more stable. Her potasium is to high and her sodium is to low and her already low blood pressure is too low. WE are hoping with the addimsoin to the Hospital they will be able to stablize her and get the paresentisies done later today please pray for her!!!
Hang in there Mom

It has been awhile

A lot has happened sense I have written last. I came home and got all the kids started in school.Then I headed back with Michael and Sammie to go help my Mom again. The Meds that she started taking worked well and fast with in 1 month she had no visible signs of her cancer. She was tired still and emotionally she was still having a hard time. Yet with every day she was taking back her life. We went to all of my sisters volleyball games and some of my other sisters tennis games. Mom could not be out in the sun due to the meds making her skin very sensitive and easily sun burning. We had fun and by the last 3 weeks I was there we were walking in the morning at the track!!! She also lost all her water weight 60 pounds worth give or take, while I was there. It was amazing to see how fast it came off. It was hard for me to leave when I did but I could not be away from my family back on the home front, they needed me as well. I came home on the 6th of October and was glad to be home. I am involved in the kids school being the PTO President. Quite a big undertaking to do with 6 kids but I have a great husband that supports me in what I do. I got right to work with PTO and kids classrooms. I have been going every sense I got home. I feel that I live at the school. Life is grand!!!!


I talk to mom about everyday almost and last week she was feeling sick and nausea again and was having difficulty swallowing her pills. Then she started throwing up. I told her she needed to call her Dr. she had an appointment the middle of Nov. But she could not wait til them so she went in on Friday and the Oncologist on call did labs and CT scan. Her tumors on her liver and lungs looked good still but her lymphoid in her abdomen where big and swollen and did not look good. She also was starting to fill with fluid to which they did a parathentises where they drained almost 4 liters of fluid caused from the cancer cells growing and producing fluid. I pray that she feels better and keeps the fluid off. She goes into day to meet with her Dr. to see where they will go from here. Emotionally this is hard for everyone involved. I just pray that if she goes she goes quickly and with nothing she can not bear. The Lord is in charge and will take her when it is her time to go. I love my mother she is my best friend!!!

I am home for a few weeks

School is starting just around the corner and I needed to come home and focus on my children and getting 4 of them in school. We were planning to leave on Saturday but mom and dads van would not start and they had things they needed to do so we let them use our van and then latter that day david and my dad fixed the van!! It was there starter that had gone out. So we were all packed and ready to go so Sunday we just woke up got dressed and left. WE drove to Ft Collins Co. and spent the night in our hotel. Woke up Mon and drove all the way home. I have to stay that for having 6 small kids the drive went wonderful. It was for the most part quiet. The kids travel well and do not get sick and the only time they cried is when they started to rough house and get hurt from each other but mostly there was laughing and joke telling!!! Although every time we stopped Sammie said "all done no more please". WE got home at 10:30 pm it went great!!!

Monday with my mom:

She had another Dr. appointment to get drained. They drained 4.1 litters. That is alot of fluid for only 3 days. On Early Tuesday they went to St. Louis. to strat the trial and get the meds that come with the trial. They do labs and xrays and ct scans. pretty much a full body from head to toe exam. To her dissapointment she was hospitalized because her potassiam levels are to high and her sodium levels are to low. They had to keep her over night so here we are Wednesday labs are still not good but are getting better. WE are hoping to be able to get her home today:) We are all excited every day we wake up and she is still fighting for her life!!! She has an amzing spirit about her and we pray daily that she will continue to feel of the love that our Father in Heaven has for her, each day that she remains with us.

I am grateful for the time that I have had to spend with her and can not wait to go back to be with her in a few weeks. It is hard being 2000 miles away and feeling hopless when she is sick and sad. I want to give her a hug and let her know that I love her but can not.

Well that is all for now my friends I will post again soon.

Mom is home from the hospital

Mom is home from the hospital and it is so nice to have her here. Yet it can still be worrisome for me because the care that she received in the hospital was perfect the room was clean and it was quiet for her. I worry that my kids are bugging her a lot and that it is just to loud for her. I wish she did not have to go through this because she is such a wonderful mom and so strong. I guess that is why she is going through this because Heavenly Father has given her the strength that she needs to get through this one last trial here on earth.

She has a lot of swelling which puts pressure on the tumors that she has inside, Which makes me glad for the pain meds so she can be comfortable.I know that she will make it and that there will peace when she sees her family on the other side. We as a family are hoping for the best which is the Lords will and the peace and comfort that we need to accept the Lords will no matter how the end results we know that Our Mother will fight to the end and receive a great reward in Heaven.

I have grown close to my mom in the last 10 years and call her on a daily bases. Oh how I will miss those moments with her but know that those days will come again sometime in the future and we will live next to each other and have fun and laugh and cry and all those things that we have already experienced here. I love my mom and will now be calling all of my other friends more often to talk to help pass the time because it will be hard. Yet knowing the out come and where she will go and that she will again be reunited with her Mother and Father that left her when she young will be a peace and comfrot to me that she is happy.

Thank you for every thing that you have ever done for me in getting me ready for life. I love you mom!!!

It is time for another update

This week has been a long week indeed. On Monday Mom had a CT scan because her 2nd drain stopped working. What they found was not exactly what we had expected. The masses on her liver had grown a bit. The fluid in her abdomen had started turning into masses along the lining of her wall. Which would explain the hardness and firmness of her abdomen. There was also some fluid around her lungs. This changed her prognosis which blew all of us away. Now instead of having months she has weeks. To me every moment I have with her counts!!! Having this new prognosis and because of the aggressiveness of the melanoma she is not eligible for the trial drugs. So they went ahead and started just regular chemo to help her buy some time. She started I think Tuesday and did her last round Friday and then she will have a break for 3 weeks. She said that the chemo was not to bad and her side affects were feeling full and heavy after treatment. Also she said it seemed to take a long time and it was boring.

I feel so bad for what she has to endure. The pain the sickness is not anyone's strengths and she has to go through this. It has been nice to take care of her, to serve her and do anything and everything I can to help out with her.

One Monday night we gathered around her bed with all of us brothers and sisters exepet my oldest brother he had to go back to Africa for the military. All of our kids were there too. We sang primary songs and cried and laughed and loved each other. I never imagined I would have to face death at such a young age. But as I face it head on with my own mother i find myself wanting to tell her every time I talk to her or see her that I love her. I have tried to get to see her everyday that she feels like having company!!! One Thursday we were able to go up as sisters and just sit and laugh and have fun with her we did her nails and shaved her legs and shared of course on video our most memorable times we have had with each other. We got mom on video doing the big wide mouth frog and then we had worn her out so next time which we are hoping for tonight to get her to sing the little blue man and the dancing shoes!!! We love all that she has ever done with us and am grateful to know that she has had the opprotunity to be our mother we feel honored.

I worte this post the other day but better late then never.

Mom's Update

This week has been a long week. Last Friday Mom had a drain put into her abdomen so that she would not have to go into the hospital every other day to get fluid drained caused and produced by the cancer cells that are producing. The drain worked great Friday Saturday and then it just did not work right on Sunday. We drained about 1000ml of fluid both days and then Sunday the fluid was a cranberry color and there was only 100ml of fluid. Mom developed on her right side from the abdomen down swelling all the way to her feet and toes. She had a hard time bending and needed to lay down quite a bit. We called the Surgeon on call to see if there was a malfunction and made an appointment for Monday morning. Going in and seeing the Dr did not do anything other then comfort us in know that her Liver function was just fine and that she had not developed any blood clots. We also found out Monday that she was excepted into the clinical trial for her treatment which is a huge blessing for her. She will be on a drug called ipomomab not sure how to spell it but it is a research drug that is suppose to shrink the cancer that is growing and reduce the producing of fluid being produced by the cancer cells. So on Monday it was good. The Dr. Called Tuesday and wanted us to try to drain Mom again and we did but to no avail there was no fluid coming out and it was just painful to watch mom in pain and get no relief. The draining hurts and she says it is like a knife stabbing her in the right side of her chest every time the drain is turned on. The Dr then said if it still does not work on Wednesday that they would like to look at it and check it out some more. So we did got to do that today. Mom had everyone up in the air as to why her drain would not work. The Dr. Nurses and a rep from the company came in to look at it tried to flush it and still nothing. So they went ahead and installed a new drain on the left side of her abdomen, and when they took the other one out there was nothing wrong with it. They then tested the new one and drained 3000 ml of fluid and hopefully her swelling will now resolve it's self and she will feel better soon. She is supposed to start her treatment on Monday and we can hardly wait to see how she responds to this treatment.

As to the mood of the family we are all holding up ok and we all have our moments and feelings and thoughts of our mother and her future. It is hard at times but the peace that comes when I think of my Savior Jesus Christ and his Resurrection.I know that I will be able to see my Mom after she dies and that our Family will be together forever. I know that the Savior would not leave us alone and let us wonder about this he taught it to us and still teaches it to my heart every day. I believe that we are Spirits having an earthly experience and when Father in Heaven calls us home we will rejoice. One thing that my Moms Bishop shared with us as a thought is that before we lived on earth we lived in heaven as spirits and we were so excited when it was our turn to come to earth yet sad to leave behind our family that would soon come to us. I think of that often and know that now as we are facing the challenge of death with our mother that we are sad to see her leave us but our spirits are rejoicing for her to return and report her life to her Father and continue to help and serve on the other side. She loves the Savior Jesus Christ and I know that she will do what ever is asked of her by him. Also she will not be alone her Parents and Sister are waiting for her and I know that she will be met with open arms and a wonderful family reunion.

So to wrap things up we are making memories with her each day. Today the kids and I and Aunt Kate and her kids gathered round her bed and she read the kids a story and laughed because anyone that knows my mom knows that she likes to act and has a good story reading voice!!! It has been hot here in Kansas so we have been inside lots but hope to be able to go to the lake tomorrow night for a picnic and swim. I hope Mom feels up to it. We have a lounge chair that we can take for her to lay in and enjoy the moments that now are limited to us. We love you Mom and are prayers and thoughts our with you always:)

Update

After 2 weeks we finally got the pathology reports back. Mom has Melanoma cancer that has matastized to her liver and lungs and stomach. We are cherishing every moment that we have with her. Making memories with her and easing her pain and laughing all at once. I will come home for a few weeks to get the kids in school and then head back. I am not sure what I will be doing with the kids while David works(at home) but it will work out somehow. I will bring Michael and Sammie back or something to that effect. Mom has months instead of years and we are going to make the best of them.!!!!!

When it rains it poors

This has been one long month of June. The Lord has given me many trials that I have both learned from and cried from. And then yesterday morning early I got a phone call from my brother that my mom was in the Hospital. She has been sick for about 3 weeks and feeling sick like the flu. They took her in and are waiting for the results of some test that they ran. We will find out tomorrow more, I know what ever happens the Lords will be done. I am grateful for the Plan of Salvation and the peace and comfort it brings me in times like this. Please pray for her. She is going to need our prayers. I will be going to Kansas to visit her and be there as needed. More updates to follow.

Trust in the Lord with All thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding?

I am not gone just a little lost right now trying to find my self and hoping that as I do this i will have the support of friends that love me. Children can be so hard especially when they do not come with a hands on manual. As i put my trust in the Lord I will feel peace and comfort.

More Excitement at our home

We have had quite the excitement here at our home. Allison has done it again, this time the arm. Thats right she has broken her arm. Last year she broke her right arm and last night she broke her left arm. It looks pretty bad to me. David took Allie, Joseph, Spencer, and Sammie to the park along with our Dog Danddie. They had been gone for some time. Then David comes to the door holding Allie and said she has broke her arm. He loads her into the car and I head off with her to the ER. We got there and they got us right back!!! Always love that we have a great hospital, that gets us right back!!! They set her up with an IV to give her pain meds and then they gave her a sedation med so they could set the break. It was hard to see her like that and in so much pain. She was sedated and still sat up and said no it hurts and then laid down and went back to sleep. Poor little girl she has been drugged up with IB Prophine, and ice for her arm. She will go to the Ortho tomorrow to see how it looks and get a cast!! In the mean while we are in between insurances and it has not been a month of being sick free like we had hoped but I know that as we trust in our Father in Heavens knowledge of our family that he is watching over me makes everything feel right and know that he alway watches and loves us!!

Scripture Study

I love our time to study the scriptures as a family!!! When we started scripture study when we first had our son 10 years ago it was short and to the point. It continued that way for some time and then when President Hinckley challenged us all to read the Book of Mormon, we did and it was taking a long time and the kids were getting restles. At about that time I was subbing for Singing time in Primary, which ment I got to bask in the spirit of sharing time. There I witnessed captive 3 and 4 year olds as the primary leaders taught the gospel through the scriptures. It was like these kids were in the scriptures and mesmorised by the stories. It was then that I knew that these women were callled of God and did what he needed them to do. And it was apperent that Heavenly Father had awaken in me a light and a teaching tool that I had been burried. I thought to myself I am going to teach my children the scriptures like that. I went home and as I read the scriptures I asked them questions and the Spirit came to the room almost instantly!!! I wanted to cry tears of joy, for my little roudy broode was now still and listening and had questions of their own. We finished the Book of Mormon and my kids were sad, they wanted to keep reading. I told them that we could and we would!!! I gave them all the option to pick a book to read out of the scriptures and to my suprise they picked the OLD Testament. I thought to my self this is going to be hard, but we are having so much fun with it and all the things we are able to talk about and bear testimony of. It amazes me that we talk about many of the deep doctrinces how much they understand and remember. I know that the Spirit testifys to each of their hearts and that they listen to the quietness of the spirit. Just as the primary song goes "And if I listen with my heart I'll hear the Saviors voice."
Tonight we were reading in the book of Exudus and Moses was explaing the last pluage that would come upon the Eygiptian people if Pharon would not let the Children of Isreal go. Talking about the law of Sacrafice, for many of these people hearing it for the first time. They were to take the first born male sheep and slaughter and eat it, all in a specific way. Then they were to use the blood and paint the door to their home with it, and this would protect them from the destroying angel that would kill all first born sons in Egyept. This was done as a great sacrafice, to a people that had not much, who were slaves. But they had gained faith in the Lord through his Leader Moses. And none of their people were lost. Because they had listened and obeyed Moses, the Prophet. We then talked about what that ment then and what it can mean in our lifes today. The prophets have asked us to obey the word of wisdom and promised if we do we will be healthy. The prophets have asked us to keep our minds clean by not watching bad movies or listening to music that sends the spirit away. When we do this then we have the spirit as a constant guide in our lives. The kids then said Mom the Egpettions did not listen to the prophet and thought that Moses was a "joke" and the next day they were sad because all there frist born were dead. It was amazing to be that a little teaching can go a long ways.
Our Spirits are sent here to have a physical Expereince and if we nurture our Spirit we will become strong.

Sacrafice is the ultimate expereince we must go through time and time again, just as the children of Isreal learned so long ago, we must continue to sacrafice and learn that we may become stronger and ulitmately sacrafice all that we have to know God. To me this is hard at times but as I do it I recivce more strength and courgage to keep on going, I did not say that Sacrafice was easy, or it would not be a sacrafice, But every Sacrifce to become closer to God makes it worth every hard part.

I know that God lives and has given us a plan to follow and we seek out God and learn to love him and follow him our lives will be full of Joy and Happiness.

New change is good right!!!

As you go through life and live you get used to the way things are and learn to live with them!!! Two years ago the company David works for was bought out by HP and with that came many changes. On of which was hard to live with. Everyone at the company would receive a 5% pay cut witch would lower our income enough that we would have $74 a month for all food, gas, diapers, toilet-trees etc... It was a very hard time for us and we fell behind in many bills just trying to live was very hard and at times I wanted to give up!!! But I prayed and relied on Heavens help to make it through. And then we slowly fell behind on our tithing not purposely but we had to pay bills so things like water and power and gas would not be shut off. And so we would pay it late or make it up the next time we would get money. I finally told David I could not do the finances any more it made me physically sick to do them. And told him that it was now his responsibility to handle them and I would answer questions and help out if he needed it. He made it a point to pay our tithing first and for the next 3 months we paid our tithing faithfully, and things all worked out, my faith had been weekend because I was inpatient and no letting the spirit guide my actions. I was listening to the whisperings of Satan instead of The Holy Ghost. I needed help and as I let my husband help me the blessings began to come again. My husband received a bonus at Christmas time. Then he was told that all employees with a pay cut would be receiving their pay back which would be a 5% pay increase!! I was so happy to see an end to the tunnel and that my Father had heard my pleas and knew that I was tested to my limits and could no longer handle this trial. Then enter two weeks ago when my husband comes home with and out of the blue interview for a company that he did not even apply to. He had posted his profile on the LDS job search web site and told that the hire rate was like 1.2%. Meaning that nobody really got contacted from there site. Well Heavens help was now playing a part in our lives. Because he was contacted by them had a very good first interview with Bank of America. Then he was called back and had a very good 2nd interview and was told they would contact him in 2-3 days. When that did not happen David emailed them asking if they had any more questions and checked up on them to make sure they would not forget him, and within hours they wanted samples of what he did and how he did it. The next day they set a 3rd interview up which David felt went very well. The next day he was contacted and moved from the selection process to the hiring process . He now had to pass a few steps to get an offer and because he has never been in trouble with the law we were sure that would be easy. He now has a verbal offer for a new job and we are so blessed to adventure in our next part of life. Lucky for us this job is one that does not require us to move. David has the option of working from home or working at a branch with empty office space. We are going to put in an office off the garage so for now he will work in a branch. We are so excited that we have been blessed with this new potiosion. We our so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father for his watchful eye on our family and the love that he has for each of his children.