the magic email

this morning when i checked my email i literally squealed with delight! the "bank" has received my registration papers and im ready to go!! of course, i cant call to order anything for a week or so... and that's going to kill me!

im ready right now to call and see what's available and order it asap - but i dont have the $$ in the bank to buy as many vials as i would need - and instead of buying one or two here and there i'd rather get them all at once so i dont have one from this donor, and one from this one and two from this one... you know?

oh man, if THIS two week wait is going to be THIS hard, i have no idea how i'll manager the important two week wait. seriously... this could be traumatic. LOL

OPK+

so according to the fertilityfriend website i was supposed to O on sunday/monday. my OPKs have been very negative (not even a hint of a line) and my BBT has been all over the place (or so it seems) but today i got a big dip and a OPK+ - with a very dark line. :)

this is my first month off of my BCP so i was thinking maybe i wouldnt O this month - no change in CM or anything... until today. :) so im thrilled that im actually Oing this month so that i can track and be on schedule for march when i will start TTC.

anyway - that was my excitement today!

profiles

J is coming today with the long profiles of the donors on our "short list" :) i haven't been this excited in a long time!

the clock...

my neighbor T had her baby tonight. she's one of the five women/families who are having (or have had) babies due in december. they're all having/had boys too. her little guy was born at 8:58 tonight, 8lb 7oz and 20 in. just hearing that he'd arrived today brought tears to my eyes - even though i knew she was being induced this morning. :)

so as if my biological clock wasn't already pounding loud enough for YOU to hear, now i get another new baby to hold and smell and just drive me mad!!

they'll be home this weekend, so we'll probably stop by on saturday to say hi and to take her 18 month old off her hands for a little bit. her husband is in iraq so she's going to have her hands doubly full now.

J is coming this weekend to talk about our plans and (hopefully!) check out the long profiles of the donors we've each selected. if not, thats okay too... we'll at least get to talk freely about it and get caught up with each other as well :)

and hey, tracking is kinda fun! the whole temp thing and OPKs and all that, im having fun with it. seeing it on the chart and reading about what it all means... of course, this is my first week or so. after 3 months i'll probably be totally over it! LOL

also - ive figured out how to share my chart (i think, J try this and see if it works...)

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/myfrienda

you just go to "sharing" then "home page set up" and you can change your URL name (thats what i did) or use what they give you. so there you go... check it out!

mail call!

my OPKs arrived today... now i just need to figure out when to start using them :)

other than that, theres nothing new to report. for the last week i've been almost completely consumed with baby thoughts. its freaky. and even without me bringing it up - it seems to come up in almost every conversation. or so it seems. :)

its kind of nice. and i cant wait till this weekend when J comes over so i can actually talk about it with someone... my partner in crime! we've got lots to cover!

Still tracking...

over the weekend i read a lot about taking baby aspirin to help get the uterus lining ready for the egg, so naturally i went out and got some last night. :) of course, it wasn't till this morning that i realized i won't be needing it for several months, but oh well. i'll have it!

i've been tracking my temp for a few days now, but my problem is this... i "wake up" several time in the morning, starting before 5:00. i just open my eyes and roll over to check the clock then realize i still have a few more hours. i dont do it every morning, but 9 times out of 10 i do. so since i dont even start getting out of bed till after 8:00 i set my alarm for 8:00 and roll over and take my temp then. im just concerned that all of the movement between 5:00 and 8:00 will have made a difference in my temp. and i'd like to take my temp the firs ttime i check the clock, but some mornings its 4 something, other times its not till 8 something.

and also - i dont go to bed till after midnight (i work till almost 9:00), so taking it at 4 (if i set my alarm for that time to take it) barely gets me the approx. 5 hours of sleep required.

argh, kinda frustrating... but like i said, i've just started. i need to give it a cycle or two to see what it actually says. :)

i donated blood this weekend as well - since i wont be able to do that in a few months, i figured this was my last shot. and let me tell you - for the first time my iron was high enough to actually donate! i have to believe its because of the vitamins ive been taking!

my paperwork is ready to be sent off to the "bank" this week - and then i can call and order the swimmers... i cant even begin to tell you how excited i am. :)



p.s. i forgot to mention - the prenatal vitamins im taking havent upset my stomach at all. i take them in the morning with a full glass of water and a piece of toast (or some cereal)

tracking 2

i think now that i've started... i just can't stop :) i bought a BBT last night to start tracking it (also on fertilityfriend.com) so once my OPKs arrive, i'll be well on my way to actual tracking.

yesterday i had a conversation with a friend at work who just recently found out she was pregnant and i mentioned how my biological clock was ticking and she said, "i hope you dont take this the wrong way, but you know... you could always use a donor..." and i just smiled and said "yeah, that's something i could think about." so then of course we had a long conversation after that about donors and how its so common now the child wouldnt feel singled out as much as they would have 10-20 years ago.

i guess i should mention that i havent mentioned anything about either TTC or doing AI at work. this is my private business and until im pregnant, i dont want to mention it at all to work. they (we!) are all a bunch of gossip hounds anyway, no need to give them fuel for the fire.

hmm, i also havent officially brought it up to my parents either. they know i want to have children by the time im 33 - which is coming up fairly soon, and they know that using a donor is definitely my plan if im not well on the way to marriage (im not). i just havent actually sat them down and said "hey, im doing this starting in march". i guess my main reason why not is because i know they'll be excited and if it takes a few cycles, which im sure it probably will, i dont want to deal with the "are you? are you? are you?" i'd rather surprise them with an "i am!"

so basically - this whole process for me is a big secret. my "project" if you will :) ive only talked to one person about it in any detail, and thats my friend J who will be trying at the same time i am... we're in this together.

wow - my real quick update about starting to track BBT turned into a longer post than expected!

once more...

this morning i started prenatal vitamins. i've been told its good to start them when TTC because they've got all the good stuff in them. so here we go - day one. i chose the rainbow light natural vitamins because ive read that they are easier on the stomach - and i'm all about being easy on the stomach!

i'll let you know how that goes. i also ordered my OPKs - so i should get them in a few days. hopefully just in time to track this month! i should have bought them before... i lag.

brand new... to everything

*sigh*

wow. here i am. that doesn't seem like a big feat... it's what im here FOR that is a wow. for me anyway.

i have given much thought over the past about 3-4 years and i have finally decided to do something about it. i am going to attempt to become a single mother. by choice.

i am not getting any younger and there are no real prospects out there in the "father" category. i have a great support system of friends and family and i honestly cant think of anything else that would make me more sublimely happy... or terribly terrified (in a great way)

so... my friend J and i have decided to hold each others hands through this as she is taking the leap with me. she was actually the one to bring it up first on a road trip we took and i literally sat there going "oh my god... oh my god... ive been thinking the exact same thing. this is weird." and since then we've talked in depth and have decided that next march we will both be ready.

so *sigh* in march we're going to start TTC. (ive picked up some of the lingo already even!) we've made some other big decisions as well... but all in all this is going to be amazing. :)

but of course now that im here i really dont know where to start. i got a visit from AF this morning/last night so i began charting... but honestly? that seems too easy. if anyone has any pointers, links, suggestions... anything... please dont hesitate to share!

here we go........