Merry Christmas!

Our family has been so blessed this year. We love our home and the area in which we live. We have great family and friends. We have had a lot of fun this year, and have also been immensely grateful this year for the opportunity to endure some testimony-building trials.

Scott continues to work as Program Director and radio host for 1320 KFAN. He is great at what he does, and he enjoys having kids in his primary class ask him to autograph their Jazz game programs.

I am still in the Relief Society presidency. It brings me a lot of joy to get to know the spectacular ladies in our ward. I still know very little about quilting and jell-o, but, through the example of these women, I have learned what it means to truly “comfort those that stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:8–9).

Jake is enjoying 2nd grade. He is an avid video-game-player, but he can always find time for his favorite pastime: reading. He also likes to play practical jokes. This coming year, Jake will have the opportunity to be baptized. He is working on reading the Book of Mormon before he makes the big decision.

Brooks is enjoying being two. He is darling and charming, loud and temperamental. He is crazy about Barney, Franklin, Bob the Builder, and Yo Gabba Gabba. He is constantly into SOMETHING (as illustrated by previous blog posts). His smile, energy, and gentleness bring light and cheer to our home. We like hearing his (sometimes unintentionally irreverent) versions of scripture stories, but not especially when he recounts them loudly in public settings.

We would like to express how thankful we are for the many friends who have loved us and embraced us wherever we have lived (Yes, YOU!). Everywhere we go, there are people with open hearts and ready friendships. Most of you are better at staying in touch than we are, and we are grateful for you. We were saddened that a few very good friends and neighbors moved from our neighborhood this year. We remain in contact with the friends who have left, and have had opportunities to make some new connections and get to know some fun people better.

We bear testimony of the living Christ, whose birth we celebrate at this wonderful time of year. Our beloved leaders have reminded us that, “The gift of Christmas isn't wrapped up in presents or parties. The gift of Christmas is Jesus Christ, the Only Begotten of the Father, the Son of God. As you follow Him, you put people first. You may spend less time in lines and more time serving others. You may spend less money on - and more time with - the people you love. You may lose yourself and you may find everything else that matters.” We testify that His love and tender care have carried us through the difficulties we have experienced this year, and His teachings and example have inspired us to try to be more like Him. How blessed we all are, whether we realize it or not, to have a loving Savior and Friend.

Merry Christmas to you all!

It could be worse!

When I woke up Tuesday morning to the sound of birds chirping, I thought, “This is the beginning of a beautiful day!” Then Brooks did THIS with his yogurt:

Sneaky little tyke! Funny little guy! Darling little rascal!

Off to the bathtub we went, and then on to the rest of a wonderful day!
Then Brooks did THIS: To elaborate on what occurred during the ten minutes prior to this picture being taken, Brooks (and an adorable neighbor friend who shall remain nameless) emptied out the contents of his dresser plus two baskets of toys. Next they pulled down the “window treatments” (some blackout panels with a little farm scene on them—that’s what those bluish rectangles are). Here comes the really fun part: Brooks and his friend took an entire tube of Desitin and squeezed and smeared the contents onto all his earthly possessions. And themselves. It was not pretty. Nor was it funny or darling. But it WAS sneaky, and it WAS rapid, and it WAS infuriating!
After taking the little neighbor back to her parents with a hair-do that resembled one from a Cameron Diaz movie (SO SORRY, neighbor friend’s parents!!!), I put Brooks into the bath again, started wiping down his room and toys, and started loading the first of many piles of greasy, creamy, whitish laundry. On the bright side, four days (and several MORE baths) later, Brooks still has very soft skin, and everything he owns has a nice powdery smell.

Your reward for reading about soap...

My 2-year-old standing in a high chair at IHOP shoving pancakes into his face.

A Post About Soap (And Possibly Mental Health)

In these tough economic times, it seems that most families are cutting back in some way to save money. Perhaps you are one of those families. You may be biking to work instead of driving in an effort to save gas money. Possibly you brown-bag it instead of dropping eight bucks at Café Rio five times every week. You could be opening your windows to let in a breeze instead of turning on the air conditioning. I am not doing any of these things. What I AM doing is cutting back on scenty, name-brand soaps.

There was a time that all my household soap was from Bath & Body Works. I love that soap. It smells super and makes the surrounding area smell nice. And the bottle is cute and has that cute little photoshopped image of the delightful smell inside, beckoning as if to say, “Come soap yourself with smell-goody soap, soap user!” Plus it’s either nice and creamy-foamy, or nice and creamy with little specks of anti-germ stuff. Either way, terrific.

All of this was before I had children old enough to wash their own hands. My kids both love to wash their hands. Not particularly when they’re dirty, because then they “hafta.” My children are recreational hand washers, and half the fun is using tons and tons of soap, resulting in tons and tons of bubbles, and tons and tons of soap scum for me to scrub out later. But that’s another post entirely. Anyhow, as soon as my oldest was old enough to reach the soap pump, I realized our entire monthly toiletry budget was going down the drain (literally) in the form of Warm Vanilla Sugar.

This unfortunate development led me to begin purchasing SoftSoap. No huge complaints here, but I soon realized I was spending almost as much money on soap as I was before, and my hands didn’t smell nearly as much like coconut, lime, or verbena, whatever verbena is. It was time to have a heart-to-heart with myself regarding my love of smelly soap.

What I decided was this: I would buy a year’s supply of Bath & Body Works soap during Christmastime. By a “year’s supply” I mean a mere 12 bottles of delightful, fragrant soapy goodness (I, too, marvel at my providence and practicality.). Because there is always a really good sale during the holidays, it is at LEAST as cheap as nasty WalMart brand imitation SoftSoap, and between my birthday and Christmas someone usually gives me a B&BW giftcard (Thank you, whoever you were last year/ will be this year! Sincerely!), so I am no longer spending a fortune on soap. Great.

The problem is, I am now officially a soap hoarder. I still have 9 bottles and we are almost halfway through the year, folks. This is abnormal. Before you start asking yourself, “Ew, sick, are the Garrards not washing their hands in oh-nine?!” let me share my current situation with you. I have been filling my Bath & Body Works soap dispensers with cheap soap. This is not the same as when I was simply using cheap soap out of the cheap dispenser. I still have the little photoshopped picture to brighten my hand-washing experiences. And I have actually had guests at my home say, WHILE WASHING THEIR HANDS WITH COSTCO DISHSOAP FROM A B&BW DISPENSER, “Oh, boy! I love Exotic Coconut! Mmmm, does it smell nummy! Yeppers, my favorite!” So it’s clear that little photoshopped picture does a world of psychological good.

My main concern, and yes I am trying to get to a point here, is that I am preoccupied with the soap situation. As if you couldn’t tell. I wash my hands about 39 times each day, and every time I think something like, “I’ll just refill this thing once more, then I’ll break out another bottle of the fancy stuff.” But 3 months, and five refills later, I’m still using the Kirkland with the deceptive little coconut picture on the front. Kind of like the old adage, “Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without,” except absolutely insane. Shameful. And stupid. And what is the point of all this foolishness?!??!

Today it ENDS! The old fakey-soap bottle has seen it’s last refill, and I am opening a new FANCY soap TODAY! RIGHT NOW!!! Be right back…

OH, it was neat. That was great. As good as soap gets. Which is good, but not as good as some other really good things. But still good. And my hands are clean, so, again, good. And lemony, with a capitol KITCHEN capitol Lemony.

In conclusion, I hope you didn’t come here to read about our most recent trip to the zoo (but everyone else blogged about that this week, so if you want to read about the zoo, go ahead and read someone else’s blog). I also hope you didn’t come to see pictures of my 2-year-old standing in a high chair at IHOP shoving pancakes into his face. Because this post is about soap, and my narcissistic need to share my soap trials with the general public. Thank you for your time.

A Tag: Ten Years Ago, Etc.

Well, everyone's all, "Update your blog," or, "Your blog is stupid." So I'm like, "Okay, I'll do this tag." So in behalf of, like, everyone I know, thanks for the tag Jill. :)

**5 things I was doing 10 years ago**
1. Being Newlywed.
2. Taking lots of naps because I didn’t have a job in Logan yet.
3. Doing some weird home decorating projects to attempt to make my creepy basement apartment look darling and attractive.
4. Doing a lot of baking for some reason.
5. Thinking I would never finish college.

**5 things to do on my list today**
1. Dive into the never-ending abyss of laundry.
2. Figure out something to do for Scott’s birthday that will make him happy and not seem too cheesy. He’s a reluctant celebrator.
3. Return a borrowed Cricut cartridge to a lady in the neighborhood.
4. Watch election returns and analysis until my eyes are all blinky and bloodshot.
5. Attempt to assemble a dinner that won’t inspire jeers from my 6-year-old food critic.

**5 snacks I enjoy**
1. Costco Americanized packaged sushi.
2. A bowl of cereal. Grape Nuts probably.
3. Right now, crappy Halloween candy.
4. Dried fruit.
5. Cheapy chocolate animal crackers (Thanks Kayla B.).

**5 things I would do if I were a millionaire**
1. Pay off the mortgage.
2. Buy Scott a really great car.
3. Go for a spa day with a bunch of girlfriends and family, my treat.
4. Take my kids on a bunch of fun trips.
5. Go shopping, invest in gold, and give to charity. That counts as one, right?

**5 places I've lived**
1. Murray
2. Lehi
3. Logan
4. South Jordan
5. Tooele

**5 jobs I've had**
1. Cleaning a lady’s house. A significant portion of my job involved cleaning her giant dog’s boogers off the wall about waist-high all around the house. For real.
2. Babysitting like crazy for several years of my teenage life.
3. Sandwich maker extraordinaire at Big Mountain Sandwich Co. I always smelled of French bread, which is neither terrible nor terrific.
4. Cashier/Book Sales Girl, at Hastings in Logan, Utah. I always smelled of horrible ornery customers who were furious that we only had one copy of “The Labyrinth” on VHS and it was checked-out or whatever. Terrible.
5. Jake’s and Brooks’ mom. Terrific.

**I Tag**
1. Karin B., whose blog I cannot see.
2. Tiffany Ann, whose blog is even more boring than mine is.
3. Stacie J., who possibly already did this tag.
4. Scott, who should start a blog.
5. Jake, who doesn’t have a blog but is begging me to put his name here.

Rules: Each person answers the questions themselves. At the end, tag 5 people and post their names

A message to my friends: "Well, I finally decided to start a blog..."

Here is the obligatory "first post." I am supposed to write about how everyone keeps bugging me to start a blog. I am also supposed to write about how I intend to use this as a sort of journal and I hope I can keep up with it. I am definitely supposed to say something like, "I can't imagine WHY anyone would want to read about little old me, and my very boring family."

But here's the thing: I am an avid and satisfied blog-stalker. I love hearing about what you did on your birthday. I can't wait to read about the stupid thing your husband did last week. I pour over your vacation photos like they are my own. And I especially, ESPECIALLY love to read about the time your kid broke his leg/started school/cursed in front of your mother-in-law/covered themselves in baby powder/ran naked through the neighborhood. It's all funny. Or it's sad. Or it's cute. But most of all, it ISN'T boring. So I'm going to go ahead and join you in writing about the details of my life that make it mine, with the hope that you'll be as entertained by my minutia as I am by yours.

Now I'll stop being so self-aware. Happy blogging!