Quiet and Real Life

We returned home from the beach a couple of weeks ago and I must admit that it put me into somewhat of a bad mood.  A week of happiness and ease made the reality of life hit hard upon returning home.  My life is wonderful, there are so many good things happening but it's filled with a lot of work and responsibility.  When we crossed the line into Virginia, I felt my blood pressure rise a notch. 

There's something about the beach that just makes me completely relax.  Perhaps it's watching the beautiful view or spending happy time all together.  I always like to go to the beach alone and just watch the waves and listen to my own voice (which sometimes gets lost in all the responsibilities).  It's a time that I can step back from the chaos in my life and see more clearly what needs to happen. 

This trip Amy awoke at 6 and instead of trying to wrestle her back to sleep, we went to the beach and sat and watched.  I wanted to keep that feeling with me, one of contentment and calmness. 

So, it was back to real life and it was hard.  I decided that perhaps being out in nature together might bring back some of that feeling for me.  

I love sitting around a camp fire.  Life is just better there watching the flames, talking, eating good food.  It's more of a challenge here to find fire pits so we haven't, in all the years we've lived here, had a fire.  We went out to Prince William Forest and got ourselves a camp site.  We invited our friends, the Baird's, to join us and we had the more relaxing, lovely afternoon.  The kids frolicked (and I truly mean that word) in the forest and I thought of many afternoons past at my grandparent's cabin in Ophir.  How I miss those days.  Oh, and the delicious dutch oven chicken. 

 

 

We liked it so much that we went back the next Saturday to "hike."  I can't really call it a hike because we weren't going up a mountain, it was really just a walk through trees.  It's the Utah girl in me, I guess.  

We felt relaxed and happy and I thought that maybe these feelings exist outside the beach.  I'm going to keep trying to see. 

Combs in Unlikely Places

We just spent the last half hour trying to rescue a comb that had been inadvertently flushed down the toilet.  It was not one of my brightest moments.  You would think that one of our two sweet, mischievous toddlers would be behind this whole shenanigan but alas, I only have myself to blame.  I had a comb in my pocket that I didn't expect and down it went to my horror earlier this afternoon.  

Heber and I set to work about 10:30, because really, what happens before 10:30 at our house?  It's always the time when something huge happens and we don't make it to bed on time ever.  He tried his technical tools including a long snakey professional one to no success. 

Heb stuck his hand in first to see if he could reach it and it nearly got stuck there forever, and really, how do I explain that one to the first responder that would have to show up to our house to save him, "you see, I accidentally flushed this comb and he was trying to fix it and couldn't get his hand out ever."  We didn't want that to happen so it was all up to me. 

In I went.  First up to my wrist, then up to my elbow and still I reached.  Before moving forward, can we just add this to the list of "places that I never thought my hand would be"?  Okay, good.  It took some time but I was finally able to jiggle it free.  I don't think I could have done that a year ago.  Perhaps all these poopy diapers have trained me for something. 

I am now heading to bed, sans comb because I couldn't in good conscience ever use it again.  It is sad because I've owned that one a while and liked it.  It's done good work over the years. 

So there's our adventure for tonight.  Gross. 

Wishes and Lighthouses

I have harbored a secret wish for a while, I have always wanted to see a lighthouse lit up at night.  I love lighthouses with all their history and mystery.

Heb's parents offered to watch the kids for the evening (the best!) and so we went to a movie.  On our ride home down the Dare Trail, we realized that we had overshot the beach house and were just ten minutes away from the lighthouse.  This was our moment, we seized it and went on a little adventure.

There in the distance, we saw the light blinking, dim and distant at first.  In the darkness, we pulled up close to the base and could see it's faint outline before the light came on in its designated pattern.  You know that each lighthouse blinks a different light pattern so boats can differentiate them.

We stood there together and just watched it brightly blink and then return to the darkness, ever consistent and faithful.  It was the most incredible thing I've seen in a long time.

It took me back to back when Heb and I were first dating, we went on a date on Valentines Day.  We drove up to Bear Lake together and ate pizza, something we've done for many subsequent Valentines Days.  We talked and held hands and for the first time felt like there was some real potential for our relationship.  We drove over to Bear Lake and stood on the bank.  In the quiet darkness, we watched to snow fall on the water.   It was a really special night for us. 
  

While we were out watching the lighthouse blink on and off in the darkness, Heb turned to me and said that it felt like Valentines from so long ago.  In our busy, kid filled life, it's hard to find those special moments in our relationship.

This moment almost didn't happen.  I'm not always the best at asking for things but one of the lessons I learned from the beach this year is to make things happen.  I want those special moments in my life.  I walked away knowing that I need to ask more, seek more.  
  

Family Lore

There are memories that become part of family lore.  They're stories that are told over and over again at dinner tables for years to come.  We had a collection of these as I grew up, stories about Grandpa Dave or when my parents were in high school.  Then there were stories about our family like the time that as little girls we had put every bow that we owned in my dad's hair only to have the missionaries knock on the door.  They're stories that are part of your family culture and experiences like these don't come around every day.  Do you have a collection of epic family stories too? 

When we were down in Outer Banks last week, we had one of those experiences.  I think we're all still laughing about it all this time later.

 Heber had wanted to go crabbing.  There is usually never enough time to fit in all the things we want to do so I didn't really worry about crabbing.  During one of the few quiet moments of the day, he went to a small local tackle store and got himself outfitted and asked around for a good place to go.  Later that afternoon, we followed a dirt trail over to the spot. 

Following instructions, Heber tied raw chicken to a string and flung it into the sound.  I have never seen anything quite like this but we all got in on the action, even his parents Randy and Penny.  One person would fling the chicken and slowly reel it in while the second leans over the dock with a net to capture the crabs.  This by itself is not usually what we're doing on a Saturday afternoon. 

We had a few near misses and then we started reeling them in two at a time.  Everybody caught one.
 

 His dad had one on the line that he knew was big.  "I think there must be three or four on there" he said.  Heber, the most successful netter, was leaning into the sound and eased his net around the bait and started pulling up.  He pulled and strained and lifted out a huge snapping turtle.  All the other people on the dock came running and we were laughing so hard.  The turtle, obviously, did not want to be caught and was putting up a big fight.  The two foot long turtle was angry so we eased him back into the water. 

 

 Each of us reeled something in.  All in all we caught 7 crabs and one snapping turtle, not too bad for an afternoon of fun.  So you see, one package of raw chicken, some string and a net led to freaking snapping turtle.  This is one for ages.  

MOPS and Wonder

I believe in communities.  There is joy to be found when you find a group of people who are facing the same challenges as you.  I am a joiner, if you can't tell already. 

When Leo was a baby, I started going to a new mom group put on through the local hospital.  All new moms with young babies, we'd lay out blankets on the floor and sit together and talk about what it's like to be a new mom and all the concerns and joys that go with that first year.  Because of that group, I felt like an empowered mom and met so many wonderful people.

When we moved to our new area a couple of years ago, I was looking for a new group to join.  I tried some out and I just never really fit in.  We faithfully tried but it just never worked.  Last November I joined a MOPS group, Mothers of Preschoolers.  It's an international group but the local chapter is hosted at a Baptist church. 

I remember the first meeting I walked into.  There were 35 people and I was nervous (and not just because Amy was so sad to be dropped off at her class) to walk into a place where I knew no one.  I sat down at my new table and felt immediately welcomed.  Everyone was so kind and immediately accepting.  I can honestly say that it has changed my whole world here.  As a mom, I feel like I give so much but there aren't always things that fill me up.  From my very first meeting, I felt supported, encouraged and uplifted.  It's been an incredible community to be involved with. 

MOPS table from last year

Today was our first official meeting of the new session.  I didn't walk into a room full of strangers and I wasn't nervous.  I did meet some new people, but I looked around and saw many friends.  Amy said in the car ride over, "I get to go with mama."  She went right into her class happy, which is a huge deal and I even won the raffle prize.  It was such a great day.  I can't wait to see what the new year will bring.

A couple weeks ago I got the packet in the mail from MOPS International about our new theme this year.  It's "We are starry eyed."  I read the packet and was really touched by the message.  Here's a link to more about the theme http://www.mops.org/theme/.  Scroll to the bottom and watch the video.  It's so neat. 


I loved this line: "Sometimes we think we have to pick one, when in reality it is always both. Light and dark, hope and fear, kindness and risk, wonder and mundane."  I often get to the end of a day and focus on the things that went wrong.  I hosted a camp recently for girls in our ward and did so much work, the girls had a great time but the t-shirts I ordered were too big.  I couldn't relish in accomplishing so much because all I could think was that the shirts were too big.  Life is filled with good and bad all the time.  If I dwell on the things that went wrong, I can't find joy in what went right.  I want to embrace the dark and the light together and find the wonder in it all. 

Derby Nights

Last Friday we went out to the Prince William County Fair.  We really wanted to go last year but the day we selected ended up being rained out.  Months ago I put the fair on our calendar and we were determined to make it. 

The real reason I wanted to go to the fair....the demolition derby.  It's one of the few times that the country comes out in me.  I love a good derby, maybe it's because they feel like home to me and there are so few things here that feel like that. 

I tried to prepare the kids beforehand, we watched a few videos and they did just fine.  It was a neat thing to be able to share this tradition with the kids.  Amy just stood there, mouth open, watching the action unfold.  It's been some happy days for our little family. 

Back in the old days, Heber and I loved going to the derby together.  We always went to the one in Logan several times.  It had some good people watching but the best of all is the Tooele County Derby.  There are people there like you have never seen.  I remember being pretty judgemental of parents having their young kids there back in the day, now I'm one of those people.  I obviously didn't know anything before. 

 

Way, way back in the day, I was in the Tooele County royalty, I helped at the derby and assisted with the awards.  We rode in a big truck into the arena.  It's fun to look back on all the experiences that have brought me to today.  Heber was there with me and we still talk about the driver who was out on parole who tried to run over an official.  There's just no place like a derby for drama and entertainment. 

I'm excited to pencil it in to our calendar again next year!

Feliz Navidad in August

The classic version of Feliz Navidad (the José Feliciano version) is currently playing in the family room.  This is not an uncommon occurrence at our house, it's Leo's favorite Christmas song.  Feliz was played and replayed and then replayed in December.  When the holidays came to a close, he couldn't quite give it up, so nearly every day we enjoy the mariachi goodness of Feliz Navidad. 

As a side note here, the rest of the album is really good too.  It's mostly made up of acoustic guitar versions of the classic carols.  Check it out, it's on Amazon Prime.

You would be surprised at the amount of toys that two toddlers and one mom can pick up to one playing of "Beliez Navi Duck," as Leo calls it.  That is one of those phrases that I hate to correct because I know how quickly the time passes and he grows up and stops saying things like "ambliance" (ambulance) and "snoot snacks" (fruit snacks).  He is growing and changing so fast that I just want to enjoy it for just a moment.  Who knows when the last time he'll ask to hear "Beliez Navi Duck." 

So, if you stop by the house around 6, there's a very good chance that you'll hear the peppy guitar playing of a classic Christmas song.  You'll see us dancing and cleaning because around here we celebrate Christmas all year long. 

 

Riverdance, Finally

We had an evening four years in the making on Saturday.  Four years ago we had tickets to go see Riverdance, something I've wanted to go to for years.  Heber's Grandma unexpectedly passed away and we had to travel out to California and missed the show.  Heber tried to get tickets in another city but they stopped touring.  It was literally the last show in North America ever.

Last year they rebooted the show again and started touring.  I was so excited to see that they were coming to Virginia but never expected to be able to go.   Heber surprised me with tickets for Mother's Day to see it at Wolf Trap.

It was such a good show.  They've added some other genres of dance to it, flamenco dancing, traditional tap.  It made me all nostalgic for my Logan dancing days.  How many hours did I spend dancing in the Wittier Center with Inishfre?  So many good memories. 

Sandy Beaches and Messes

I do not like to be messy.  This should not come as a huge shock to anyone.  I've never really been very outdoorsy either.  I think it's that I don't really like bugs, wild animals, dirt....I could go on.  Heber claims it's because I never found an outdoor activity that I really loved.  He swears that if I got to really like skiing that I'd love winter and snow.  I'm not so sure.

Last week, the kids and I met some friends at Mason Neck State Park.  They have a great playground and kid friendly walking trails.  What more could a mother of toddlers want?

Just off the path, there was a trail that led to a beach and right out onto the water.  I had packed everything we would need for such an event, but had left it all in the car.  Great.  I still let the kids wade into the water and play.  The funniest was watching Amy in the water, she is quite the little fish.  I better get that girl into some swimming lessons.

 

There was sand everywhere but we made it work.  It's not worth passing up these sweet memories to contain the mess.  This is a metaphor for parenthood, I think, to surrender to the mess and enjoy the exploring.   You should have seen the utter joy on their faces.  What's a little sand or a messy face?


It reminded me of a time that we went to Bear Lake a couple of years ago.  Leo was about Amy's age now.  We went with a whole group of friends and watched the little ones toddle around in the sand.  So many good memories.  

The Fourth

Another fourth of July has come and passed.  It was a drizzly and dreary affair this year but we made up for it with a visit from my parents for the weekend.  I think I'm going to like them living in Chicago, especially when they can visit a little more often. 

To start the holiday out, I drug the box of decorations up from the basement.  We did this weeks ago and we've been enjoying the novelty of red white and blue around the house.  That morning we had a joyful morning exploring all of the decorations to a soundtrack of Sousa Marches.  They paraded around the house with flags and shakers to the sounds of trumpets and trombones.  Decorating for holidays is one of my most favorite things to do with the kids, followed closely by baking cookies together.  For days afterward, Amy would point to them and say, "stars! I wub it!"

On Friday, we drove over to Harper's Ferry (of course).  It is such a pretty spot and filled with so much history.  I was sure they would love it.  We filled the rest of the weekend with two firework shows, shopping with my mom (something I really miss with us living so far apart), a trip to the movies to see Finding Dory and good food.  The highlight for the whole thing was having time to talk to my mom and dad.  They have embarked on such a big adventure in their lives and it was nice to get the update.  We talked about all the fourths from the past and talked about the infamous Miss Grantsville pageant. 

We decorated the kids bikes which is a tradition of mine since childhood.  We did finally get some nice weather in and pulled out the slip and slide.

 

 On the fourth, we braved the rain and 70 degree temperatures to go to the Dale City Parade.  It's the one we went to last year and I liked it just as much.  The highlight would be all the candy they throw out.  Amy spent most of the parade eating her candy.  My dad wore his traditional flag shirt (it just isn't the fourth without it) and was filmed by a photographer for a local magazine. 

 

 

With rain falling nearly all day (boo), we opted to try out the fireworks at Manassas.  Last year we drove into the city to see the fireworks in similar weather and weren't able to see hardly any fireworks with all the smoke hanging in the air.  We had a pretty nice view, although Amy decided that she wasn't a fan of fireworks this year. 

It was a fourth to remember, even with fussy kids from long days of fun.  Toddlers are such temperamental creatures.  Luckily, I prepared myself mentally for it all and expected it so it wasn't too bad. 

Five Years Since USU

This month, it's been five years since I graduated from Utah State.  It seems like another life ago, and it is.  What hasn't happened in the last five years, seriously. 


When I think back on those graduate school years, they're some of my favorite.  When I decided to go back to grad school, I was 25 and having a mid life crisis.  I know that's such a cliche phrase, but that's really what it was.  I'd just been laid off from a job that I hadn't particularly liked and took a month to really think about what I wanted to be when I grew up.  We weren't all as lucky as Heber who knew exactly what he wanted in eighth grade, right down to the company he wanted to work for. 

It look me some time to know myself and to figure out what I wanted.  I'd never really developed that capacity to be able to recognize what I wanted.  I heard somewhere that your brain isn't fully developed until age 25.  That was true for me.  After a few real life lessons, I finally figured out that I wanted to go back to school and study Instructional Technology. 

When I think back on that time, it was a phase in my life where I really figured out what I wanted and lived it.  I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be and doing what I was supposed to be doing.  When I finally applied to school, within the week, I had two perfect part time jobs and things had fallen into place. 

I felt on fire those years.  I was learning incredible things and creating work that I'm still proud of.  I was dancing two or three nights a week with the Irish dance team.  Heber and I were both working hard and going to school.  We didn't see each other much but we built a strong foundation of supporting and encouraging the journey to accomplish dreams. 

More than any other time in my life, I was really living true to myself.  That's why those years are so special to me.  I want to live all of my life like that, pushing myself toward a goal and living authentically. 

My first day of school.  See how happy I am.

 

Harper's Ferry and Life

Do you see that?  Rocks and mountains!

It's been ages since we've been out to see anything as a family.  There always seems to be a home project that needs work or someone's sick on the weekends.  Boy, the life of a 30 something, home owning mom is really exciting, but I really wouldn't want it any other way.

On that tangent, we went out bowling a couple weeks ago with some of Heber's colleagues from work.  Just picture about five late twenties couples  Most were just newly married, some dating and living in the Metro area, all working.  And then, there's Heber and I, married for 10 years, two kids, stay at home mom.  I guess it's been a while since I've been out in a non-family crowd.  You can tell because the first thing they ask you is what you do.  We moms don't start there.  You should have seen their faces when I told them that I was a full-time mom.  It was entertaining, to say the least.

It got me thinking about what my life would be like if I'd made different choices.  It's interesting to see where I could be and what I could be doing.  Would I be working in a big city?  Would I have traveled more?  I felt satisfied with what I had done before kids.  I'd finished my master's (something I'd always hoped to do), traveled to some really cool places and even joined a real dance team.   Still though, the thoughts occasionally creep in of what my life could be like.  I've really thought on it and I don't think I'd change any of the choices that I've made.  We have a good life that is constantly exhausting but purposeful too.

 

Ok, now off the tangent and back to our weekend.  We went out together to Harper's Ferry.  Don't worry, I'd never heard of it either.  It was National Parks week last week and I thought it would be nice to get out to one on the free day and Harper's Ferry was there on the list.  We needed the chance to run away for the day and just be together. 

It was beautiful.  I always thought it was random that there would be so many songs written about the Shenandoah Valley (Country road, take me home, to the place, where I belong....), well I completely understand now.  John Denver and I are now singing the same song.

Harper's is right on the banks of the Shenandoah River looking up at the most beautiful rocky, tree covered mountains.  There's Civil War era buildings and streets and just the most majestic mountain views.  I haven't felt so relaxed in a long time.