Waiting for Austin

In just a few days our little Austin will be born and I am left thinking "where did the last 10 months go" and "is it over yet?"  I am excited to welcome our new little person but I'm also filled with lots of mixed feelings.

This morning, I ran to the post office to mail off a stack of thank you cards.  I love thank you cards, I try to always write them.  With the outpouring of generosity lately, I have just been overwhelmed by all of the kind gifts.

My friend Erin offered to host a shower a couple of weeks ago.  I had secretly really hoped that someone would offer.  With on of my best friends moving this summer, I felt like it would be another loss with her moving.  When I was expecting Amy, we didn't have any celebratory gathering for her because we were moving.  For me, showers aren't about the gifts, people could come with nothing at all and I would be happy, it's just the celebrating of the new life that's important to me.

There was a big crowd at the "little pumpkin" shower and I was just so happy to see all the people that came to support me.  I felt like I had a village around me and it was such a nice change from all of the other pregnancies when I've moved right before and had to go the newborn phase without the support of local friends.  It was a beautiful day and I have been filled to the brim with gratitude and hope.

The shower was a much needed boost of morale around here.  This pregnancy has not been the easiest.  There were many months of sickness, discouragement and discomfort.  I felt a weakness that I haven't felt before, like I couldn't do or be the person that I wanted to be and that was hard to face.  This summer was a very emotional time for our family with challenges at Heber's work, which led to many late nights and stress.  We’ve all just been in a rut around here.  I am looking forward to the next chapter and moving on from pregnancy.

Three weeks ago, Heber tore out the upstairs bathroom shower.  This was a project that ballooned from wanting to redo the grout to an entirely new shower tile, tub and eventually a new floor, light fixture and vanity.  All of the non tub things will have to wait for a few months.  When I walked downstairs the morning after demolition and discovered a hole in our kitchen ceiling, well, I began to feel a little worried about this whole project. 
Days went by and Heber worked every night late into the night.  We’d be up at midnight making design decisions or talking through the next step in the process.  One night, I woke up to him drilling at 4:00 in the morning. What sounds like a very stressful time (just weeks before the due date) turned into something that we actually enjoyed.  Heber didn’t sleep much those weeks but posted very witty and creative daily updates on instagram. The whole project turned out beautifully and seemed to crack into this rut we’ve been in.

So, we’re waiting for Austin to come.  I'm very uncomfortable but trying to keep things as normal as possible.  Let's hope he comes soon!

The Popcorn Popper

This is a popcorn popper.  On the outside, there's nothing really special about this appliance but it means a lot to me.  We had it out to pop popcorn for family movie night last week and the kids overfilled it and it started smoking.  I thought for sure that it had died.

I've had that popper for nearly 15 years.  It was my first day at college at Utah State.  I was moving into my first apartment and I was terrified.  Starting new things and being in a new place can be really exciting but mostly scary.  My family was helping me to move in and as they left, I discovered that my dad had left this popcorn popper behind.

For years, popcorn had been a comfort food to me.  Heber would joke at the beginning of our marriage that if he came home to the smell of popcorn, he knew that something bad had happened.  I think it was a small way that my dad could tell me that it was going to be ok.

Now, the popper did not die and I was relieved because I wasn't ready to let it go.

So that's the memory I'll share on this Father's Day week.  As I mother, I see more clearly the challenges of knowing how to show a child love in a way that will meet their needs.  I appreciate my dad and all he's given me but especially that first day of college.