Tied Down

Tied Down, Any Way I Choose

I've Got Nothin' To Lose

life surprises me at times.

Just half an hour ago, my brother and me were sitting in the lounge, devouring the silence that usually accompanies us. When suddenly, he turned to me and goes, ' wanna play a game with me?'

hardly paying attention to him, eyes glued to the TV, i nodded.

I sensed him going inside his bedroom. Then heard footsteps a minute later.

He stood there for must have been a full minute. Then as if to register his existence, he uttered a 'well?'

Finally, looking up, i saw him holding a box. It was a set of fish-and-hooks. The fish are made to stand in a circular pod where they rotate and open up their mouth from time to time and you are supposed to fish them out. Rolling my eyes with difficulty, i took the green hook from the many he was offering. Then he turned on the rotor.

And to my surprise, i actually found myself laughing and enjoying the whole damned deal. I didn't know i was laughing until about 3 seconds late. Then i looked up thinking 'is this normal for me? should i continue playing and acting like i was a 2 year old?'. Just then i looked up at him, he had the biggest grin on his face. Larger than life. Better than what i have seen in ages. His whole face was flushing from the effort he was putting into making his hook land straight.He saw me staring at him and said

" you are going to stop playing? "

Shaking my head and Smiling to myself, i returned to the game.

I may not have said that to him, ever. And i know i never will be able to. I have never been able to say these three dreaded words to anyone. The void between us is just not possible for me to erase and he'll not be the one going through this here. But yes, i love you bruv. :] During this 15 minutes battle, i have realized that Every single thing that helps your face break into a smile actually means a lot to me.

I was missing you, college. Jk, i have a life.

So i got into this medical school which sucks, i know. Didn't get along with people that well. Called a girl an 'a******' and she kinda reported me to that red-assed department lol. 'Ace and Diamonds' at college and was reported again. Used abusive language, check. Annoyed the shit out of that religious man at college, haha, report to the department again, please.

LOL

SMY, I hope you die in a supermassive blackhole!

_I_

At this rate, i'll be out of this place in no time. See you on the other side where the grass is still green.

Just another scrap!

So, she said she'd be coming over next week. Haven't seen her in a long time, been an year, almost. I wonder how much she has changed. How did she look before? I can't picture her right now, something is definitely wrong with me.

The last vivid image that flutters through time is of her walking with hair all tied reallyyy tight in a ponytail, those black shoes she used to wear to college, the one's with long heels, her bag which had shades of red, yellow and something else to it, one notebook with a lot of random scribbles across its leaves, two cellphones lol she used to submit one at princi's office so that her name would be all clear and so that she could continue texting people with her other cellphone.

- ( 'i disagree with her on many counts, but you can't deny she has got style' )

a lot of samosa's (i puke up at the sight of them, don't know how she managed to eat not just one but two of them), her pink pouch( or i hope it was a pouch :/).

Another image:

i think this was the last day of the exam:

i was sitting on this bed in her room, she was ironing her uniform sitting on the floor ( yeah, i showed up 20 minutes early at her place cause of my dear old mum hell-bent on making me act punctual, so naturally, she was unprepared), then i remember her talking about some stuff about her dad and i was juggling between listening to her and cramming physics. Now i look back and i wish i had paid more attention to her. I didn't know i'd be getting no more of her voice around me for almost an year.

Damn! i can't remember most of her intricate details. I suck. lol jk, it's time.

So, now after an year, she transforms from being just a laptop screen and Msn chat logs to a real alive person.

ps: i had nothing to do and i was just happy my best mate was coming over and i wanted to give my memory something to fish out, so i wrote this. If you are reading this, then please know that i still love you. Haha.

And Some Umbrella's Slipped From The Land And Ended Underwater!

It All Bubbled Up To The Surface!