family matters

The other weekend, while driving up to my friend's house for the birthday party, I heard the old Bob Dylan song Don't Think Twice. The version I heard that day was a cover by Eric Clapton, during a Bob Dylan tribute concert. The version (and vision) that popped immediately into my head, however, was a more folky, harmonic version, sung by a little-known duo: my parents. (Peter, Paul and Mary recorded the version that mom and dad used to cover.)

When I was a kid, my parents would often spend Saturday mornings singing together, dad playing guitar. You're all saying "ahhhhh, how sweet." But I hated it! (Typical, in the way that all kids are bugged by their parents, except that I was not a teenager yet, but an elementary school-age kid.) I didn't think I liked it at the time, but now I adore the songs they used to sing, and love to sing them myself, when no one's listening.*

Since I had the time to think, driving in the car, I started wondering WHY it was that I never wanted mom and dad to sing. I think maybe it seemed so intimate- like having to spend Saturday morning watching your parents make out or something. We were not a very expressive family. Didn't say "I love you" a lot (although it was understood), didn't argue a lot either. I rarely saw my parents hug or kiss. So I think this interaction that felt full of emotion made me uneasy.

And that realization makes me think about Henry. (He never wants us to sing either, but I think that's just because we are too loud or something.) He doesn't seem troubled by "happy" emotions, but gets very upset by any hint of anger or irritation or argument.

Mom and I were recently remembering a cousin's wedding back when I was a kid. One brother spent the evening running around and sliding on the floor of the reception hall and eating too much cake. He got so wild that he ended up throwing up on that same floor.

My other brother sat off in a corner the entire time. That was his way, and still is. (He and my dad could both be said to have "autistic tendencies". Some similarities to Henry, but not as extreme.) Mom remembered that relatives kept asking her "what was wrong" with him. Yes, it must have been a loooong night for my mom!

I felt sad thinking about that, and thinking about how much easier it is for kids now. It didn't seem to be acceptable back then to just say "he doesn't like crowds" or "he's shy". Or to not even bring him to a gathering that you knew would stress him out.

Doesn't it seem wrong that society would be more accepting of a kid who gets really freaked out and throws up than a kid who likes to keep to himself and watch from the sidelines? I hope that we are all working toward better understanding and acceptance of all kinds of kids.

*My parents and brothers are all quite musical. I am the black sheep, in that way. However, writing this blog has made me realize how important music is in my life, so I did inherit a love of music, if not a talent for it.

MOM-NOS is one of my favorite people. Definitely my favorite person in the category of "favorite people I wouldn't recognize if I saw them face to face". :-)

Anyway, she had the clever idea of asking her son to answer the "5 things" questions, and then tagging some of their kid cyber-friends to do the same.

Here are Henry's responses (all are direct quotes):

5 things in our refrigerator:

1. fruit
2. vegetables
3. something to drink (I like orange juice)
4. ice cream (strawberry is your favorite)
5. bacon

5 things in my closet:

1. clothes

5 things in my backpack:

1. Disney papers

5 things in our car:

1. wheels
2. 'puter screens *
3. story tapes

*This comes from our Barney and BJ Visit the Police Station book. Officer Mike shows Barney the police car's computer screens, which show him where he is needed. Henry often gestures to the dashboard and talks about our 'puter screens.

I guess I chose a bad time to ask Tommy the questions. He was in his manic, I-am-really-tired-but-it-doesn't-seem-like-it-because-I'm-being-so-wild mode. He responded "jelly" and "strawberries" to the first question. But to any further questions he would only say "I am running running running running..." as he ran around the living room in circles.

the weekend

Saturday I visited my oldest friend. She lives 2 1/2 hours away, and it's been 2 years since I've seen her! She has an 8-year-old son (E) and a daughter (L) who was celebrating her 4th birthday. I faithfully attended her son's first few birthday parties, but last year got away from me somehow. I decided to just go for the day and just bring one of my kids- traveling light.

I brought Thomas, since he is the "easier" child to take to a birthday party. He's not as likely to be caught with his fingers in the birthday cake, or opening the birthday gifts, which has happened with Henry more than once.

I have decided, though, that next year I will go to E's party, and I will bring the whole family. People seemed disappointed that Henry wasn't there. And a couple times when I made comments about Tommy, like "he is a good eater. He'll try all different kinds of things" my friend would jump in and say "well Henry was always a really good eater too." I am probably being paranoid, but I got the feeling that she felt she had to defend Henry, or thought I was favoring Thomas.

Here's the picture that will get me nominated for mother of the year:

He's bouncing on his Spiderman beach ball party favor, with a sucker in his mouth that came from the pinata. (What a fun party!) But I probably should have told him to stop doing that unsafe thing, rather than thinking "he looks like such a KID!" and taking his picture.

Here's another shot where he looks like such a KID. We were trying to get a picture of me, my friend, and the kids (easier said than done). Besides the flash reflection right above my head, what is my son doing with his hands?!





















(You can see how tan his little legs are getting. He seems fortunate enough to have his daddy's coloring.)

I had a brainstorm this weekend and thought of a good way to store all of Henry's "Disney papers." (Up until now he carried them around and would spread them out on the floor. Then I would pick them up and hide them somewhere until he asked for them again. Some of them have been clutched so long by his sweaty little hands that they are frayed and worn.) I slipped the papers into those clear plastic sheets and put them in a 3-ring binder. Now he can carry them around, look at them easily, they won't get damaged, won't make a mess, and won't look so odd.

5 things, times 4

OK, MOM. You might just be sorry you tagged me, as this list seems quite un-interesting. But here goes.

5 things in my refrigerator:
-leftover fried rice from last night
-bacon and link sausage for my little carnivore, Henry. We buy sausage weekly- the way other people buy milk and bread
-I, on the other hand, have tried to be a vegetarian off and on for the past 18 years or so. So we have three varieties of veggie burgers in the freezer
-small jug of sangria
-water bottle full of hummingbird nectar for my husband's bird feeders

5 things in my closet:
-forlorn, unused yoga mat
-Ohio University hooded sweatshirt that I've had since 1987 when I visited while in high school.
-a pair of maternity pants that I still like to wear! (They're black and stretchy and the kind that just ride under your belly, ok?)
-Several more pairs of black pants
-2 items that I think used to belong to Kate's mom. She gave them to Kate and then Kate didn't want them anymore... That's right, I have hand-me-downs from my husband's ex-wife! (She does have nice taste- a striped Tommy Hilfiger blouse and a salmon colored hooded cardigan from Ann Taylor Loft.)

My wedding dress is in a closet at my parents' house, and my new running shoes are not in the closet, but downstairs by the back door.

(I'm grasping for something interesting here. I assume this exercise is supposed to reveal something about me, and it seems that it is just exposing my thriftiness.)

5 things in my purse:
-2 packs of Extra gum, spearmint and watermelon flavors
-This honey & shea hand cream
-4 lip glosses
-#50 sunscreen
-shopping list for Target from earlier this week- guess I can throw that away...

5 things in my car:
-4 Disney books-on-tape to be returned to the library after work. (Actually, I need to renew Hercules, because they love that one.)
-stroller
-adult and kid-sized umbrellas
-Thomas' Darth Vader sunglasses (I've gotta get a picture of him wearing them. You won't believe how cute he is.)
-6 1/2 years' worth of poptart and donut crumbs, dirt, and spilled coffee, plus a little sand

my little accomplishment

I have started jogging.

Two weeks ago I went for a walk after work. The track has quarter mile markings, and something possessed me to try jogging for 1/4 mile. It was so hard! (I later realized that I had chosen an uphill quarter mile- smart.) But the next day I walked with a little more jogging mixed in. The next day a little more. This week I have been walking to the track (maybe 1/4 mile from my office) after work, jogging around the track once, which equals 1.054 miles, and then walking back to my car.

I am able to do that in about 28 or 29 minutes, and then pick Tommy up from his sitter's all before 6 pm. The only drawback is that I don't really cool down much afterwards, so I show up at L's house all sweaty and tomato-red-faced. (I am one of those people whose faces turn bright red at the slightest exertion, and then stay red for an hour.)

I have jogged (please note that I don't use the word run) 12 out of the past 14 days. I go so slowly that all the other joggers pass me. Some of the runners pass me like 3 times during my one lap around the track.

I just feel good that I have finally figured out something that works for me. I have never been an athlete. But in high school, college, and pre-son married life, I did exercise pretty regularly. Henry's birth sent that out the window. I didn't have the time in the evenings to spare anymore. I think when he was 8 months old or so, I started getting up and walking at 5 am. That plan worked for a few years- I liked having the quiet time to myself in the mornings.

But the morning thing doesn't really work anymore. And I'm finally changing my preconception that "you have to exercise for 45 minutes or it doesn't count." So now I think I've found something that I can squeeze in a half hour- make myself sweat a lot, make my muscles work a little, and not take away from work or family or any of the other things I juggle.

I don't have lofty long-term aims of running marathons, or fitting into my pre-baby clothes. (Those would be nice side affects, don't get me wrong.) Right now I just have the day-to-day challenge of keeping up with this and trying to change the way I feel about myself- getting back a little control. Wish me luck.

I'm feeling nervous

The first day of Easter Seals "summer camp" went well yesterday. The drop off was a little rough. We arrived at the same time as a little girl who was very adamant about NOT wanting to go in. She was actually a pretty large and strong-seeming little girl, and her parents were struggling with her to get her inside. Of course both my boys were staring at her with the widest eyes. I noticed that her parents' van had an autism awareness magnet too.

When we got to the classroom, Henry spotted some puzzles up on a shelf. The teacher said "we got those just for you, Henry" and I think they really did.

This morning his teacher told me that yesterday was great, and they were all pleasantly surprised that Henry participated in circle time, etc. with no protest. I gave her some notes from Ms. H about motivators and certain techniques that work with Henry. Today is their class's swimming day, so that should be fun and should wear Henry out!

When we walked in this morning Henry kept saying that he didn't want to go in, etc. I hesitate to put words in his mouth for him, but at one point I said "do you feel nervous about starting something new?" And Henry said "yes. I'm feeling nervous." He kept repeating it while I talked with his teacher. I said "I know, Henry, I feel nervous when I start something new too. And I feel nervous when YOU start something new. But you'll have a fun day today."

While waiting for a prescription yesterday, I picked up the Chicken Little storybook for Henry. We already have 2 sticker books and a different story book, but you know that he likes to have the entire library for each movie. I felt a little sheepish, buying him a present for no reason, and thought I might keep it hidden until a special occasion. Well of course the special occasion came last night!

The past couple days he has been fixating on this part of the DVD Mulan: rent the DVD and go to the "special features" menu. This calming new-agey music plays while line drawings of Mushu and Cri-kee are drawn and then disappear and then are drawn again. Henry watches it over and over. I can actually see why he enjoys it- he likes to watch people draw anyway (a subject for another post). So he watched that for probably half an hour while the rest of us chatted and played with legos. When Henry took a potty break, Bill turned off the DVD. Henry was upset, so I told him that I had a surprise for him. He said "I want to guess what it is!" This surprised me, so I said "ok", and waited for him to guess...

Well he must have just heard that phrase before, because he got irritated when I prompted "what do you think it is?"

Anyway, he was so excited about the book, and many times during the night he said "thank you mommy for getting me this Chicken Little book from Kroger!" (He also asked a couple times which aisle I had gotten it from- I guess trying to picture the spot in the store?)

I just read this great essay that Alexander's Daddy posted. Go read it.

perspective

Remember a couple weekends ago I was frustrated because Henry wouldn't go outside? Well this weekend I decided to try harder to join him in his activities, rather than force him to join us in ours. It's just as fun to spend a Saturday afternoon reading with him in his bedroom as it is to be splashing in the little pool in the 90 degree weather. (And safer for our pale skin too.)

If I take a few minutes to step into his world, I gain a new perspective.

We have this box of animal fact cards from when Kate was younger. One of those sets that you pay for in installments and they mail you 10 more cards every month or something. So Henry was looking through these thousands of cards and had them spread out all over the floor. He was attempting to read each card which is such a thrill for me. And he's really good at sounding out/guessing what a word might be.

I showed him that each animal has a different color code, depending whether it's a mammal, a bird, an invertebrate, etc. I thought the sorting aspect might really click with him. But he didn't really respond. He kept flipping through the cards. Then, suddenly, he was finished, and asked me to pick up all the "water cards", gesturing to the pile of cards to his left. Turns out that he had already been sorting the cards. He was putting every picture that involved water into a pile. This included not only obvious ones, like dolphins, sharks, and whales, but also the zebra and the hippo, as the pictures on those cards depicted the animals drinking. "The zebra is right behind the water", Henry explained.

Later I asked him to come look out the window into the back yard. "See what Tommy is doing?" I asked. Again, Henry didn't really respond. So I kept on prompting: "see, he's scooping some water from the water table. Now he's carrying it across the yard and dumping it in the pool. Oh, he spilled some."

Henry didn't respond to any of this. But he pointed, and said, "it's a baby daddy."

Thomas and Bill were both wearing wide canvas sunhats. From above, we couldn't really see their faces. Henry thought Tommy looked like a "baby daddy"- a smaller version of the same thing.

I told Grandpa the story last night, during my father's day phone call, and he suggested that Henry might also have noticed a similarity in how Bill and Tommy move- their mannerisms and gestures.

It's so easy for me to dismiss Henry as one-dimensional sometimes: he only wants to watch Disney movies, or look at the same pieces of paper over and over... but God, there's so much going on inside that tousled blond head. He really just needs those familiar things to help him put some order to it all.

maybe I'm just a scrooge

They did a feature during the NBA game last night about Jason McElwain, the autistic kid who is usually a team manager, but got put in the game and scored 20 points in 3 minutes. I was as touched as anyone when I first heard that story. And I still get chills and tears in my eyes when I read about it. But yet there's also a little part of me who is becoming irritated by all the attention the media is giving this story.

I am trying to put my finger on why this bugs me. I think it's because, while this is bringing great public attention to the face of autism, what autism is and what it isn't, I'm starting to get the urge to shout "Jason is an awesome kid! So is my kid! So is every other child with autism! They achieve great things every day! More important things than scoring baskets!" The message should not be that Jason is some fluke autistic kid who achieved something, and so is to be celebrated. The message should be that all our kids have abilities to do all kinds of different things, if given the chance. And I'm worried that this message is getting missed.

singing away the stress

I posted quite a while ago (on Valentine's day- I can't figure out how to do the link) about songs that make you smile. Today I heard a great one on my way to work: Ball and Chain by Social Distortion. (You can click on the link to watch a video- I didn't find a link to just hear the song.)

Bill is out of town this week. I like to think that I do everything around the house anyway, so what's the big deal if he's gone? But I guess he helps more than I realize, because yesterday was very stressful!

-Tommy isn't feeling well, and is VERY whiny. I took him to the doctor on my lunch hour, and his ears are ok, it's just a virus.

-Henry is really freaked out, (I mean, dysregulated :-) by:
a.) school ending
b.) the Easter Seals program hasn't started yet, so his big sister is watching him this week. She is really doing great with him, and they have fun together, but it's just something DIFFERENT, you know?
c.) Daddy is gone. Yesterday Henry told Kate "Daddy will be home in no time." (This is a mantra that he often repeats when someone is away at work or whatever.) Kate told him that Bill will be home Friday night. Henry replied "today is Thursday!"

-Kate had a youth group activity last night in an opposite area of town. All three of us had to drop her off and pick her up- both boys whining in my ears the entire time. By the time we got home Kate could tell that I was ready to lose it, so she helped the boys clean up their room and get ready for bed, while I sat on the couch and ate some Dairy Queen (brownie batter blizzard) and drank a glass of wine! Thanks, Kate.

This morning I dropped Tommy off, drove through Starbucks and splurged on a half-decaf coffee (I know, I'm a mom gone wild in my minivan), and then the Social Distortion song came on. It was just what I needed to hear, for some reason. I turned it up really loud and sat in the parking lot at work, singing along in my very loud off-key way.

Maybe I just need a moment like that to make me feel like I actually still have some freedom of choice in my life. Some independence, even if it's as meager as sitting alone and looking like a dork as I sing along.

I thought about my friend Sal, and others who ride public transportation to and from work. When is their opportunity to sing at the top of their lungs?

you want me to tell you...

Henry has been asking some tough questions lately. And I like what they reveal about his development.

It's been a year or more since Henry started describing the way characters in his favorite movies were feeling: "Simba is saaad" he would say, moving to get right in front of my face and look me in the eye. I was happy with that development because, for a long time, Henry ran away from any discussion of unpleasant emotions. He ran away, literally and figuratively- in speech therapy they would show him those posters with a series of emotion faces and he would cry and yell and refuse to look at them.

So it was good when Henry became able to label emotions and identify how someone was feeling. But now I realize something was missing. (I have not been trained in RDI, but I think this is the kind of missed link one is getting at with that program- comments are welcome here on this subject. Teach me!)

Over the weekend as he watched some favorite Disney movies, Henry again would comment "Simba is sad." And I would agree (Henry always wants you to repeat back what he has said. If you don't, he continues to repeat it until you do.)

But then Henry said "you want me to tell you why he is sad?" (His pronoun use has become much better, especially in routine situations. But in a situation like this, where he is venturing into new territory, he lapses back into his "backwards" talk.)

He also asked about Aurora (Sleeping Beauty): "you want me to tell you why she is sad?"

Those are tough questions kid. Simba is sad because his father is dead and Simba thinks he is responsible for his father's death. I'd really rather not explain that. Aurora is sad because she just found out that, although she just met a handsome stranger in the woods, she is being forced to marry a prince she's never met. (Sleeping Beauty, by the way, has to be the dumbest and most offensive of the Disney movies.)

So, although he has long been able to identify someone as "sad", he has never understood WHY they are sad. It's pretty hard to find your way through life if you're missing that much background information. What is a good way for me to explain these things to him?

(It's also interesting that he asks questions in such a convoluted way lately. It shows me how much his mind is really working! He will look out the window into the back yard and say "you want me to tell you what I did with the slip-n-slide?" Such a more complicated question than "where is the slip-n-slide?")

and now, back to your regular programming

My husband hopes that I don't hurt myself getting down off my soapbox. So I'll be very careful...

To update on the past couple posts:

-I decided to go with Barnes & Noble gift cards for the teachers, along with a little candle from the Bath & Body Works sale right next door. I was tempted to get gift certificates to a local ice cream place (mostly because that's what sounded really good to me) but decided B&N was safer- you can get not only books, but music or movies...

-Bill and I had a date Friday night, in honor of our anniversary. We walked to a neighborhood restaurant for a slightly fancy dinner and wine. Then we walked a few doors down to that ice cream place I just mentioned. Finally, we walked to the local little movie theater to see The DaVinci Code. What a fun night. I hope this doesn't sound terrible, but sometimes when we have a great time alone like that, it makes me extra irritated by our "real life" with kids. Maybe that was a reason for my mood Saturday?

Another reason I get frustrated with an issue like Henry going outside is that I wonder- "what is the best for my child?" It just seems like it's a mom's job to encourage her child to go outside. But it's a weekend, and the rest of us are doing things that bring us pleasure. Is it wrong to let Henry do what brings him pleasure? What is my obligation here as his mother? To force him to do something because it is "what kids are supposed to do"?

-I have not been "pissed off mom" ever since Saturday. I have still had my moments, but I have tried (as Kyra wisely suggested) to acknowledge when I'm being grumpy/irrational and apologize.

This morning I tried to get Henry to write his name on the gift tags for his teachers. Don't ask me why I go through that routine with him when I KNOW that he is going to refuse and get upset. The thing that makes it even worse is that his 2-year-old brother chimes in "yeah, Bubba. You write your name!" This makes Henry mad. Then, when I say "Tommy, you don't need to get involved with this. Just eat your breakfast" and Tommy starts crying, it makes everything worse. I ended up saying "you are both making me really mad" and throwing down the gift tags! Mature. But I didn't say what I wanted to say, which was "how damn hard is it to write your name on this gift for your teacher?!" I guess that's the thing- it is really damn hard for Henry.

As we walked out to the car for his ride to school, he told me that he doesn't want to go to the new school. I think he is really worried about that. And it's hard for me to comfort him, because I'm worried about it too. This year went so well. It's hard to start over.

it's love, stupid

“We hold these truths to be self evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness”-The Declaration of Independence

I don't usually venture into hot political topics here, but this really has me steamed. I am a partner in a traditional, opposite-sex, marriage, and I really don't see what all the fuss is about. I do not feel threatened by people of the same sex who choose to marry. Am I missing something? Are they taking something from the rest of us? Getting some kind of privilege that the rest of us aren't? (Like a big tax break or a government contract?)

I have two younger brothers. They are both smart, sweet, clever, sensitive, creative, talented, funny and breath-takingly handsome. Each one shares his home and his life with a special person that he cares about. Neither one is married. One lives here in the US with a woman. The other lives in Australia with a man.

How many people in this world go through life trying to find someone to love and who will love them in return? I know I sound like a bleeding-heart sap, but why do we care who an adult decides to spend his or her life with? As long as no one is being hurt, I say our society needs all the love it can get.

Homosexuals are our co-workers, our friends, our family. They are members of our churches (yes, there is a gay couple who attends my church) and parents to our children's friends. Allow them to become even better members of society by acknowledging their relationship. Who does it hurt?

Or how many more wonderful Americans will we lose to Australia? :-)

confession

I got impatient with Henry yesterday. I don't mean to announce that as if it's the first time that's ever happened (or the last), but I do feel sad about it.

Yesterday we had perfect weather. Blue sky, cool in the morning but warming up to 80 by the afternoon. Thomas, Bill and I were in and out of the house all day.

Henry doesn't like to do anything outside. When he was 2-3 he would want to walk around the neighborhood and look at cars and have the same standard conversation about certain houses and landmarks. He also used to like to sidewalk chalk, although it would just be him dictating to me what he wanted me to draw. But now he just likes to stay inside. He will play on the playground when we visit one, but just playing outside in the yard holds zero interest for him.

Yesterday I suggested a trip to the library and then the grocery store, as a way to get him out of the house. Those both went well. But once we got home he just wanted to watch a DVD or lay all his crumpled and well-loved "Disney papers" all over the floor. Chicken Little seems to have replaced Lady and the Tramp as his current favorite subject, and he carries around two Chicken Little sticker books, a Disney Magazine with Chicken Little on the cover, the Chicken Little book on CD book and some printouts from the Disney website.

Anyway, last night Bill was cooking out, and I wanted to sit outside with him. Tommy was coming in and out of the house, and Henry was in the house. Henry kept asking me to find one more of his papers, and then a particular Star Wars book that was my brother's, (from back when Star Wars, Episode IV was the FIRST Star Wars.) I couldn't find the book anywhere and he kept perseverating on it. I finally just told him (in a not very nice way) "Henry, it's nice outside and I want to go outside- why do you have to stay in here with all these movies and papers spread all over the floor?!" He just looked at me and said "NO!"

When I think about it rationally, he is probably feeling extra dysregulated. The end of the school year is coming, and he knows that he'll be going to a different school next year. Also, his nose was running all day long yesterday, and the Claritin I gave him didn't seem to help.

It's just hard, as he gets older and more communicative. Sometimes I feel like I should be able to have a "rational" conversation with him in which I say "hey, it's nice outside. Let's turn off the movie and go outside." And he says "ok mommy."

(But lots of times I wish I could have a rational conversation like that with my teenager also, and it's not so easy.)

It's not all about autism. It's just about being a mommy. I was frustrated with Tommy yesterday too, because he wouldn't stop climbing on me and wanting juice, but NO not THAT juice, a different juice. Etc. etc.

Bill gave them a bath and I tried to put them to bed early. We read a book together in Henry's bed. But both boys kept whining that they wanted a different book or that "Bubba push me." Bill could hear us on the monitor and he said it didn't sound like me when I said "both of you need to be quiet or we're not reading any book."

I don't want to be that mom- the one who's pissed off and short with her kids all the time.

So that's why I'm going to take a walk this morning- some time for just me. Maybe today will be better.

random notes from the sauna

Yesterday was my 9th wedding anniversary. I had hoped to scan a photo and share it, but it just didn't happen... (Thankfully our wedding day was not as horrifically hot as the past week has been.) On May 31, 1997, a gentle rain fell throughout the day and I married my best friend in a shelter house in front of a fire. Every day since has been better than the last. Happy Anniversary husband. I love you.
______________

We have just returned from an end-of-the-year trip to the zoo with Henry's class, and are cooling off, each on separate floors of the house. (Not temperamentally cooling off, but physically cooling off.)

The zoo trip was fun. I love Henry's teacher and aides. One interesting observation though: there are only 4 kids in Henry's class. I have only ever seen one other parent. This father was there for "meet the teacher" day in the fall, was at the fall party I went to, and his IEP meetings always seem to be scheduled before or after ours. This dad clearly has an ASD, and I think he's the first adult I've ever met who seems to have full-blown autism. Every time we see him, he asks us where we live, how much we paid for our house, why we decided to live here, whether we live near the Jewish Center (we do), whether we belong to the Jewish Center (we don't)... you get the idea.

This guy is kind of irritating (I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but hey, Henry's constant inappropriate questions irritate me sometimes too.) But today I realized that at least he really seems to take an interest in his kid's life. He takes time off from work (as a computer programmer) for these events and really makes an effort to talk to the other kids and get to know the adults too. Where were the other 2 kids' parents? I know it's not always easy to get off work (my vacation time is practically at a negative balance), but I have not seen them at anything throughout the year.

On another subject: I was proud of Henry at Target this weekend. He picked out 2 DVDs to look at. I said that he could look at them while we walked around the store, but could only pick one to take home (praying that he would choose Chicken Little rather than Power Rangers.) We talked about it as we shopped, with him always saying "I want to take TWO movies home mommy!" Like, he couldn't believe I was having so much trouble understanding that. Anyway, we got to the checkout and I was expecting a mammoth meltdown. I asked "which movie do you want the most?" And he calmly answered "Chicken Little." I said "OK, then we'll leave Power Rangers here" and he said "OK." And that was the end of it!

We also attended a Memorial Day parade last weekend. Henry protested that he didn't want to go, which surprised me, because he has always enjoyed parades. And he did enjoy it once it began, but the anticipation of the noise and all the people seemed to upset him beforehand. It didn't help that I misunderstood the time the parade started and got us there an hour early. We bought Timbits from Tim Horton's and then the cottonwood flying all around stuck to our sticky hands and sweaty faces. Summertime is so gross.