test

This is really just a test to see if bloglines is picking up my posts again.

Tommy has worn or carried the Human Torch costume with him everywhere this week.

Henry kicked his speech therapist Tuesday (!) but he told me about it as soon as I walked in the door. I told him that he needs to "use his words" instead of hurting people and he replied "I didn't know what to say." I'm not sure if that's true or he's just b.s.-ing me.

But the rest of his week at school was good.

Have a good weekend and I'll write a real post soon.

thinking positive

I've been feeling a little low lately, but here are a couple good things from last night:

The new session of gymnastics classes started for Tommy. Each class starts out with all the kids in a circle to warm up. During the spring session, Tommy would sit on my lap the whole time, his eyes wide, watching, but not participating.

Last night he hopped right up and mirrored every move the teacher made! It was pretty cool to see the difference a few months can make. He has gained a lot of confidence between 2 and 2 1/2.

One of Henry's therapists from preschool was there with her son, the same age as Tommy. It was nice to visit with her. Ironically, her son stayed on her lap almost the entire class, and cried when the teacher tried to talk to him. I've sure been in that position- the mom with the kid who is traumatized. It's a funny feeling to be the mom with the well-adjusted kid! (Knock on wood. I've probably jinxed us and now he'll have a tantrum next week.)

Bill did something so smart last night. I'm sure I've written before about how Henry picks his food apart. If I haven't written about that it's because I don't even notice it anymore- it's just how he eats. He eats EVERYTHING with his fingers. I mean even yogurt and cereal with milk. I kind of half-heartedly suggest that he use a spoon, and he usually responds "I already used a spoon yesterday!"

Even foods the rest of us eat with our hands, like pizza, get extra-torn-apart by Henry. It gives him some kind of sensory comfort to pick his food apart with his fingers, rather than take bites. It's gotten to the point where Tommy tattles on his brother: "Mommy, 'Enry is picking his food." Which is kind of strange because I don't usually scold Henry for doing that, but I do usually praise Thomas for using his silverware, or for taking bites, so I guess he thinks that by pointing out Henry's inadequacies, he'll get more praise?

Anyway, last night the boys were having chicken patty sandwiches and corn. Except Henry didn't want the bun, and was just picking the breading off his chicken patty. Bill started playing this game that he had told me about before, but I had never witnessed: he thinks of an animal that "chomps", and gives the boys clues such as I'm thinking of an animal that lives in the ocean and has a head shaped like a hammer. You can tell that both boys are really thinking about it, and then one of them will shout out "a hammerhead shark!" And then Henry will chomp his food like a shark. Brilliant.

He ate 2 chicken patties that way and even some of his corn!!!! And the best part is you can tell both boys are really having fun. After each bite, Henry will say "Daddy, please think of another animal!"

Just when I feel like I don't know how to "think outside the box" anymore, my husband comes to the rescue.

I am thinking about starting over with a new blog since this one is acting so weird- but I wonder if I can start over in "regular" blogger or if it'd have to be beta? Well, I'll keep you posted.
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Even though I love this time of year, I feel really... off... lately. I can't quite put my finger on why. Just grumpy and easily frustrated and bored, even though I'm too busy to be bored. Maybe frustrated that I'm too busy to be bored. Maybe I have trouble with transitioning to a new school schedule and season? I've never had a problem with my birthday before, but it is coming up in a few weeks- maybe that's the problem?

I know so many other moms who work, go to school, exercise, cook yummy stuff, homeschool their kids, start support groups, write beautiful blog entries... Why can't I do a fraction of those things, and keep my house clean?

Or, setting my sights on a lower goal: why can't I go to the bathroom or have a conversation with my husband without a certain 2-year-old screaming in my face about Spiderman? Or that he needs to use the potty right now too and "waa waa waa" he doesn't want to use the other bathroom, he wants to use this same bathroom!

And blogger isn't working right, and neither is my computer at home, which not only ticks me off, but also the teenager and the first-grader.
Ppppphhhhttt. Enough of that.
___________

I had a meeting with Henry's teacher Friday morning. She is really great and I feel silly that I was put off by my first impression on the phone. She said that what they are working on right now with Henry is transitions: he says "I already did that yesterday!" when asked to go to any new activity (even lunch). Talking about this made us both laugh, but it is a serious issue. A kid can't get through school by protesting at each and every transition.

(Last year at this time we were happy if he didn't pinch or knock over a chair at transition time, so we are doing fine.)

She also said "Sometimes we have trouble getting him to eat his lunch. But then Kate comes over to talk to him. I don't know what she whispers in his ear, but he eats his lunch after that!"

__________________

Pretending I'm famous:

1. What is your favorite word?
This question has stumped me the most. I guess I'll say "effusive". I used this word to describe my husband when we were first dating, and it made him think I was smart.

2. What is your least favorite word?
"Juice-ee" said by Tommy, as in "I want my juice-ee!" It's a babytalk thing that he learned from an older kid at L's house and it totally grates on my nerves whenever he says it.

3. What turns you on? (creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?)
sincerity. Life is too short and too precious to waste it by being insincere.
peace and quiet

4. What turns you off?
Well, the opposite of the above.

5. What is your favorite curse word?
Hmmm. Each has its place. But I think "sonofabitch" rolls off the tongue nicely. Not when directed at a person, but more as an exclamation when I spill something,etc.

6. What sound or noise do you love?
laughter

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
commercials. I have trained my husband to mute all commercials.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Umm, this isn't exactly a profession, but I've been thinking that if I didn't have to work at my real job anymore, and could stay home, I would like to try being a foster parent.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Bill collector

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"You were right about everything."

Thanks for the tag, MOM. This was fun. Please, anyone reading, answer the questions yourselves and let me know...

Oh, and APE stands for Adapted Physical Education. I'm sure every state/county calls it something a little different.

Gosh, maybe I should change the name of this blog to "things that irritate me" since that's what I talk about every day! But here's one more:

There's this woman, a wife of a co-worker. I was talking to her the other day about the kids starting school. Her son has some medical issues and developmental delays, and is in a special-needs preschool class. We were talking about therapies our kids receive, and I told her that one day recently Henry piped up "I had OT today!"

That statement kind of set me back. It somehow made me sad that my kid gets special services and talks about them. Not that he should be ashamed of it, but more like I thought he didn't know what OT and PT and speech and APE were- that he would just think they were part of every kid's school day. But it turns out that he knows that OT is called OT. Huh.

So I told her that it kind of freaked me out that Henry said this, and she replied, "oh, really. That doesn't bother me at all. I have no problem with that. T knows which teachers work on which therapies- I think it's great."

This woman is kind of like that all the time, about any subject- so it's not surprising that she said this. But still it pissed me off. Sorry that I'm not as FINE with my kid's special needs as you are, perfect mom!
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Here are a couple cool pictures from that trip to the aquarium:


This shark was swimming over our heads!

Here's what I see when I try to read my blogs on the computer at home:

We made banana bread a couple weekends ago- one of our favorite things to do, and both boys can be helpers. I have no idea why Henry had to lift his shirt up right at that moment?

I gotta tell you this before I forget: last night I was getting ready to read with Henry in his bed. I said "you know what?" (this is a little game we play- we've said it so many times that he knows we are going to say "I love you") and he replied "I love you too."

Then I said "I love you even more than that. I love you so much."

Henry held my hand, looked into my eyes, and shouted "please don't cry!"

I am quite the crier, but actually had no tears in my eyes at that moment- didn't feel any coming on. My voice wasn't quivering or anything. I don't think I've ever started crying while expressing my love to Henry. I don't know where his exclamation came from! Unless it was something he's seen in a movie or tv show.

(Here's another thing that irritates me: I've been trying all day to make spaces in between these lines above, but they will not take. Blogger is trying to drive me crazy.)

inequity

I know a woman who was unable to have children.

She and her husband adopted a beautiful daughter who brightened their lives. At one year old the child fell from her crib and died.

The couple went on to adopt two more children: a son and a daughter.

While those children were still in school, their father, a high school principal and football coach, suffered a stroke and died.

This woman raised her children on her own after that, giving them a warm, loving, happy home, and as "normal" a childhood as can be expected, when one has lost one's father.

Her daughter went to college, married, and now has 5 children, and they see their Grandma almost every day.

Her son suffered a stroke more than 10 years ago, so she continues to care for him.

I'm sure this woman feels blessed, and she is. I know she is not bitter about the tough times that life has shown her.
________

I know another woman who has suffered great loss and pain in her life.

Both these women are kind, gentle, loving mothers, who have always made their families their top priority.
_________

I know a third woman, and hear of many others like her, who has been blessed with many children, and multiple (decent, it seems) husbands. But she continues to make herself her top priority, without a care for those around her.

Why does this happen? Some will say that God gives hardship to those who can handle it. I don't like that theory. I like to believe that good things will happen to good people and bad things will happen to bad people.

But sometimes real life doesn't play along with my theory.

Oh- sorry to louse things up by upgrading. I'd better figure out how to use some new features and make it worth everyone's while. You know something funny? Once I upgraded, there was this notice that I had comments to be moderated. I've never (purposely) set up comment moderation. So there were some comments from some of you from last November that I never saw until now. Weird.

Henry had his 7-year checkup yesterday. He is 44 inches tall and weighs 42 lbs. I don't really expect anyone to care about that, but feel that I need to record that information somewhere, so when I am asked how much Henry weighed when he was 7 I'll be able to answer. Bill took him to the appointment and reported that Henry did a great job cooperating and answering all the doctor's questions. He seems to be in good health, and his weight puts him in the 25th percentile, so he's not the teeniest 7-year-old ever.

Isn't this the best time of year? Today the sky is cloudless and almost a periwinkle blue. The leaves are just starting to fall, but for the most part everything is still green. The air at night is so cool and crisp that I feel like I could sleep forever. My kids seem to feel that way too- it's hard to wake them up in the morning.

I bought the boys their Halloween costumes this weekend- but will not reveal what they are until I have pictures from trick-or-treating. They are so damn cute in their costumes that I can hardly stand it. Does anyone remember the scene in E.T when the kids are going trick-or-treating and the mom is squealing about how cute they look, and taking their picture? Every year I hear myself doing that to my own children. I have become that kind of mom that I used to laugh at.

(I tried to find a photo on the internet of that scene I'm talking about, but didn't have any luck. What a great movie ET was...)

Anyway, we bought the costumes at this discount/closeout kind of store. Just Thomas and I were shopping, and that kid is such a joy to be around. He gets all excited and says "oh, mommy look at dis!" about everything, from holiday decor to bath towels to shoes. He is excited about everything, but is able, willing even, to move on and TRANSITION to the next exciting thing, which is very different from his brother.

With Henry, I always have to have an alternate plan, an emergency plan, try to predict what he will like the best and do that first, or maybe do that last, depending on the situation. It's relaxing to not have to be one step ahead at all times. (I guess I already talked about that when I took Tommy to the library one day. But it bears repeating.)

This morning, out of the blue, Tommy said "I will use my cape and fly into Piglet's Big Movie and I will save the scrapbook." (If you're not familiar with Piglet's Big Movie, Piglet has made a scrapbook with pictures of all his friends. Two of the friends- I think Tigger and Rabbit- argue over the book, ultimately dropping it into the river, where it is washed away.)

I have a meeting with Henry's teacher planned for Friday morning, and am anxious to hear how she feels about the first month of school. She writes me notes every day, of course, but those are so brief and talk about Henry's mood that particular day, rather than her overall impressions.

weekend gripes

1. Do we all agree that Instant Messenger is the tool of the devil? Everything that has ever gone wrong with a computer at home or at the office can be traced back to the evil AOL. For several days our home computer would boot up, open up AIM, and then everything else on the screen would go blank. Like AIM was the cockroach that survived the Windows armageddon. After trying several other things I finally removed AIM from the system, and now it seems to be working normally.

I'm eternally amused by Instant Messenger anyway, because Kate leaves away messages that say "homework then shower then bed then school tomorrow."

Whoa. I would never have been able to hazard a guess as to what my teenage friend's weeknight schedule might be. Thank God for Instant Messenger. Now I know where to find her.

2. How hard is it to learn to drive? How hard do you think it would be to learn in a minivan, with 4 other family members riding along? What about if you threw in an autistic kid who would provide running commentary:

"We stopped! You want me to tell you why we stopped? Why is Kate going back up into the driveway? We stopped again! Kate is NOT driving! You want me to tell you what they are doing? Now daddy is driving! They switched! You want me to tell you why they switched?"

3. Bill and I have a new favorite bible quote. (I guess really this is probably our first favorite bible quote.) From Proverbs:

"How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple?"

This has many potential applications.

I feel like it's time to post, but don't have one coherent idea. So here are a few recent thoughts:

-The paradox that is raising a teenager

Kate has been so great lately. An unanticipated bonus to Henry switching schools this year is that his elementary school and Kate's high school share a cafeteria. They see one another every day at lunchtime! It seems to be something that's really special for both of them, and I am so thankful. Kate has also visited his classroom, and may visit regularly to read a book next semester (she doesn't have a study hall this semester).

Henry has added "I'm going to miss you, Kate" to his repertoire, and one night specifically asked HER to read him a book, rather than me or Bill. She is a junior this year, so I'm glad the two of them are enjoying their time together, before she leaves us.

And this is the paradox. One minute I'm choking up, unable to believe that the little girl I played tea parties with will be leaving us in 2 short years.

The next minute, I'm looking at her dirty socks on the floor and her trashed bedroom and her hair all over the sink, and thinking "in 2 short years I won't have to clean up after her anymore/remind her to clean up after herself. I won't have to look at her IM away-messages every time I get on the computer..."

I say stuff like "in 2 years you can eat whatever you want and stay up as late as you want. But until then..." Blah blah blah.

-Henry is smart

The bus driver said this to me the other morning: "Do you know that he is so smart? He already knows where all the kids live and in what order they get dropped off!" I was like "duh." I mean, that's vital information to an ASD kid- that's what keeps his world spinning- knowing what is coming next.

Someone gave him a "Henry and Mudge" book for his birthday. As he now has HOMEWORK (eeek!) which includes 15 minutes of reading, we have been reading it every night. The first night I read most of the story, prompting him to read a few words. The next night I paused for longer spells, and I'll be damned if he didn't read almost every word! He got stumped on a few unusual words (teacups is one that comes to mind), but read really quickly, and without protest.

-Our sitter, L, is awesome

It's been rainy for a few days. One day when I picked Tommy up, I asked "did you have to stay inside all day because it was raining?" L said "no- tell your mommy what we did." She let the kids run around outside in the rain in their underwear, and even jump on the trampoline! I can't imagine anyone better helping us raise our kids.

A friend was having some problems with her babysitter. I was relating some of them to L, and said "you know, the only time you ever did anything that upset me was when you told me you thought Henry was autistic. And you were right about that."

She said "do you know how long it took me to get up the nerve to tell you that?" I had never considered how hard that must have been for her. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell her how much she means to me and my kids.

So Sunday morning we met up with everyone at the zoo. My mom and dad came down for the day also, which was a treat, and we could celebrate mom's 60th birthday! (Happy birthday mom!)

Henry again perseverated on the particular thing that he MOST wanted to see: the reptiles. That's what he had done at the aquarium also, but either he was more obnoxious about it the second day, or my tolerance and patience had been tapped out, because I found it more frustrating on Sunday. I wish I could help him "shut off" that part of his brain that makes him think "reptile house reptile house reptile house reptile house". He is missing out on all the other cool stuff that comes along on the way.

One attraction that continued from the previous day were waterfalls. Henry was willing to stop at look at any exhibit with a waterfall. If you are looking for waterfalls the next time you're at the zoo, you'll be surprised at how many you'll see! Here is Henry admiring the seals and their waterfall:



Grandma and Grandpa offered to take him straight to the reptiles, and the rest of us could follow the path around the zoo. At first I refused that, and wanted him to walk around with the rest of the group. But, as I said, I was getting pretty frustrated... So after a while they branched off with Henry, and then met up with us again later. That worked out just fine for everyone. Sometimes I just resist having to do things a different way to accommodate Henry. But it was his birthday weekend, after all.

We usually rent one of these buggies for the kids to ride in, in case they get tired. Notice that Henry is clutching one of his "prints". (A page printed from disney.com. He has at least one, if not several, with him at all times.) I guess, as interests/perseverations go, this one is pretty easy to manage. They are easy to carry and easy to replace if lost or damaged.


The Cincinnati Zoo has an insect building (ours does not). We went through quickly, but one thing that seemed to really fascinate Henry were the bees. They had one of those displays that is a cross-section of a real beehive- a tube leads out of the building, allowing the bees to come and go. Henry would have looked at those bees all day. I wouldn't mind getting an ant farm, but I don't think we'll be endorsing this interest in bees!
Here's something interesting that Henry does: whenever we finish an outing like this, we get in the car to drive home, and Henry says "I had such a good time at the zoo/aquarium/bowling alley/fair". It's like he wants to summarize the trip, or assign it into his memory. It's cute, and kind of amusing to the adults who maybe didn't have SUCH a good time. Maybe he is trying to re-write OUR memories: "don't think about the meltdowns I had, mommy. Just remember that I had such a good time!"
That evening we drove into downtown Cincinnati for their fireworks display. This was a bit tedious, because in order to park and get a good viewing spot, we had to arrive 1 1/2 hours before the fireworks were to start. Ugh. Henry was being so sweet and so patient. But every 10 minutes he would say "they are getting ready to start!" "The sun is going down!" And I'm looking at my watch and thinking "45 more minutes of this..." There were no bathroom facilities, of course, and our 2-year-old seemed to get a big kick out of peeing in the woods.
Thomas and I finally took a walk up a steep hill for the last 15 minutes. That was entertaining because we were in an area where hip young people live, and one house had hired a (loud) dj. Tommy solemnly covered his ears as we walked past, his Buzz Lightyear shoes lighting up as he walked. All the cool kids were smiling at him over their cool kid drinks.
You know, I never wish to be younger. I would much rather be a mom walking with her kid and waiting for the fireworks to start than be one of the cool kids, stumbling down the hill in their impractical shoes, text-messaging on their cool kid phones.
The fireworks, once they finally began, were awesome. The boys watched intently and exclaimed over the colors and patterns.
I think it has taken us all week to recover from the weekend.
(The picture seemed so small on my last post, I thought I would try again with a larger version.)

weirdo

After the comments on my last post, I thought I would publish this one that I had started, but never completed:
________

So, I have been tagged to reveal some weird things about myself. My bag of secrets is getting smaller the longer I have this blog, but it is also making me more self-aware, which makes new idiosyncracies occur to me. So...

1. I have always looked younger than I am. When I was 26 and Kate was 6, we were mistaken for sisters a couple times! You might think this is an enviable trait, but it really irritated me in my 20s. (Older) people would say, "I wouldn't have guessed your age-you look so young!" in a way that maybe they thought was supposed to be a compliment, but really sounded like an insult. It always made me feel like maybe I was dressing inappropriately or saying "like" too often or something. But now I realize they were just jealous.

Just in the past few months the cashiers have stopped asking for my i.d. if I buy alcohol with my groceries. And it kind of hurts.

2. I have a tattoo on my ankle. In our current environment, this is totally NOT weird at all. But when my girlfriend and I decided to get tattoos the summer of 1990, we didn't know anyone else who had one, and felt that we were being pretty wild.

3. I am somewhat prone to fainting. The most recent time it happened was when I was in labor with Thomas! I got to the examining room, changed my clothes, and got on the table. The interns or whoever they were tipped the table back to see how dilated I was. It seems that they tipped me too far back, or maybe the baby slid into the wrong spot... All I know is that I was suddenly unconscious- in a dream state, swimming back into the room and wondering where I was. Then I remembered that I was having a baby. Man, that was a bummer. Poor Bill was sitting right there, hearing the monitors go off and stuff.

Today has been an odd day. Henry woke up before 5 am and was ready to eat breakfast. He asked to watch a movie, and since it was so damn early, I said ok- he had time to watch one before school. Tommy has been on a costume kick and because the human torch was in the laundry, wanted to be the red power ranger today. This means that he needs help getting in and out of it every time he needs to go potty, and needs to have the legs rolled up repeatedly or else he trips over them. . .

Here are some photos from the first day of school:

(Technically, Thomas isn't wearing a costume here, but pajamas.)

(Here we have the human torch)

We had such a fun weekend!! We visited Cincinnati- a couple hours away from us. Bill's brother and family live there, and they have an aquarium that I have been wanting to visit. The city also has a fireworks display for Labor Day.
Saturday morning we went to the aquarium. Henry stampeded through the place, barely looking at any of the fish, repeating over and over "I want to see the sharks! I want to see the sharks! I want to see the sharks! I want to see the sharks! I want to see the sharks! I want to see the sharks!"
He stopped briefly at the tank that showed wave action on a shoreline. It was hypnotizing to watch the colorful little fish be tossed around by the wave, then regain control, only to have it happen all over again.
The next exhibit that held Henry's interest was this one:
The animal on display was an otter, but Henry didn't really care about him much. He just loved, loved, loved the waterfall.
When we were finally able to drag him away from the waterfall, we came to an awesome coral reef display. The photos don't capture it very well, but the aquarium goes over your head and under your feet:
Henry was mesmerized. It was so rewarding to watch him and know that he was truly enjoying himself. A diver dropped into the tank and swam around adjusting things and feeding the fish. Henry scampered back and forth, always right in front of that diver. He has always loved the divers at our zoo too. I wonder if he will learn to dive someday?
The sharks were awesome, and there were divers in with them too! One of those divers knocked on the glass and motioned to Henry! He tried to play "pat-a-cake" with Henry through the glass, and although Henry didn't quite have the motions down, it still thrilled him to no end!
We hit a rough spell when we made him move on from that area. I guess if it were just me and Henry we could have sat in that spot all day long. But there were other people to consider, so we had to move along.
The next display was a shark "touch pool", but Henry was having a meltdown and wanted no part of it. Same thing with the penguin display. Fortunately, there were enough of us there that I could walk ahead (or lag behind) with Henry, and Thomas could still experience all the things that he wanted to see.
On your way out of the aquarium, they route you up above the shark tank, so you can look down into it one more time. That was nice for us, so Henry could end on a satisfied note (there are pictures of sharks on the wall, and the water is down below):
Visitors are then funneled out through the gift shop (of course). I bought Henry a souvenir puzzle, shark book and shark sticker book. Thomas picked out 2 "chomping" animals (an animal head on a stick with a trigger to make their mouths move) and Kate (still a kid) picked out a stuffed animal shark.
Henry is supposed to bring a picture of his family in to school, so here we are on the Kentucky side of the Ohio River:

Saturday turned out well because we then went back to Uncle J's house to watch football. Henry was able to chill out up in his cousin's bedroom, looking at books, for as long as he wanted.
Sunday we checked out the Cincinnati Zoo. I will tell about that next time.

lucky seven

Henry's birthday got off to a great start this morning. We stopped at Starbucks again on the way to the high school. I got a venti this time, both boys got crumble berry coffee cakes. By the time we got home, Henry had eaten all the crumble and berry parts off the top of his coffee cake, and started making a move toward his brother's!

Thomas and I both told him no repeatedly, but Henry would not give up. "I will trade him!" he cried. (Like Thomas wants to trade half of a perfectly good coffee cake for the mangled bottom of one. He may only be 2, but he's no fool.)

Henry was crying and really getting upset. I tried offering other breakfast favorites, but he would have none of it. "The sausage is gone! The go-tarts are gone!" he moaned, through his sniffles.

I was getting worried. The bus would come soon and Henry's birthday would be off to a horrible start.

After a few more bites, the little brother pipes up, "o-tay 'enry, I will trade wiss you."

I couldn't believe it. I gasped and said "Thomas!" in a way that seemed to make him think he was in trouble. But I quickly explained that I was so proud of him and that was so nice of him to share with Henry.

Henry's tears stopped immediately. He poked away at the top of the coffee cake, and happily went out to the bus.

Then came a wonderful surprise: the bus driver had balloons and a present for Henry!!! Is that just about too much to hope for?!

We sent in ice cream sandwiches for his class treat, and have a fun-filled weekend planned, that I will tell you about next week.

Seven years ago a light came into my life. His smiling face has made me happy for 2,555 days now! Happy Birthday Henry!