also

the boy hurt himself trying to climb the fence at his school playground. cut his hand onthe sharp wire at the top. 

hours later, after he'd calmed down and had time to think and after i'd cleaned the wound for the second time and bandaged it before bed, i asked why he did it. 

he said his friend looked cool doing it and he wanted to do it, too. probably the most honest answer a 6-yo kid could give. 

(damn lucky he didn't gash his whole, freakin' forearm and impale himself on the damn thing. jeebus.)

thoughts from a night out

hot wings at the cold spot.

also, as we drove home from dinner tonight at the re-built cold spot by way of ellen's ice cream, i told kris i was already regretting my meal. by that, i meant hot wings, burger, fries and, to a lesser extent, beer, were already making their presence felt in my belly, and not in a good way.

i mentioned to her that a word that has been making its way a lot in my writing is "vagaries," as in "the vagaries of aging." it's become kind of my catch-all for the crap i'm discovering that come with getting older, usually things that hurt or ache or cause discomfort that didn't used to.

that said, it was a fairly enjoyable night out. kris said a tough week with the kids at the preschool had put her in the frame of mind for something a little off the menu, the kind of eating we did before the babies came along. (indeed, she hadn't been to the cold spot since the boy was born.)

as with most things, the actual experience wasn't as good as the memory — the linked story says as much — but kris said the children really do like doing things as a family.

(apparently, all these times i think we are doing things as a family are more like just being in the same place, which, if you think about it, isn't the same thing.)

riverfront park.

so dinners out, going for walks, visits to the ice cream shop, where we're all involved for the same purpose are the moments the kids enjoy and look forward to.

i can dig that. at home, daddy's doing laundry or mommy's cooking and we're all scattered. sharing times, aside from reading story books on the couch at bedtime, are actually few and far between for all four of us to be engaged.

it's a good thing to be cognizant of. probably also a good thing to work a little harder at. these times where our little people want to hang out, let alone be seen, with mommy and daddy won't last long.

(may have already started. normally, i walk the boy to his classroom. today, as we saw a classmate get dropped off by his dad, i asked if he wanted me to just let him off in front of the school. he demurred. but we'd barely entered the hallway when he said he'd changed his mind, so he could walk and talk with his classmate. and that was that.)

car talk

console.

not sure i'd call it "automotive wisdom," but i'm going to call it a hypothesis: while transporting (but not eating) a bag of drive-thru mcdonald's is a start, after about a month in, nothing kills "new car smell" like leaving a take-home box of leftover french fries and chicken wings for an hour or so on a warm, spring evening.

couple this with text from kris after rainy soccer practice ...

'Best. Night. Ever!' Let kids run around in rain for 20 minutes at JA.  Han* is now fully initiated.

... and now the vehicle is well and truly the mom-mobile.

we'll see how it smells in the morning.

* the kids decided on naming it "han solo," btw. the boy tried to back-track and name it "darth," but we stuck with the most palatable choice in the pool of "star wars" names. "sidious" was actually mentioned. "sidious." what the hell, kid, what the hell?

in memoriam

grill master, car buff, tinkerer.

rest in peace, uncle mario.

first cut

the view from the ground.

pretty sure i take this picture after the first cut of the lawn every year, after which i wax poetic about the scent of fresh grass and all that. this year, though, i didn't do the cutting — and there's a chance i may not ever again.

there's a story behind that. i'll try to get around to it soon.

adventure

dribbler.

holy crap, what a day.

seemed to start out ordinarily enough — boy has an early morning soccer game. mom was going to go to an afternoon bridal shower in beckley. i was set to watch the kids. the end.

the boy was silly and loopy from the jump and his mama and i both warned him that he'd better be focused and not acting like that at the game or he'd be yanked and taken home.

as it was, not only did he get his act together, he and the whole team played well, swarming to the ball, playing defense, getting into scoring position. it was worlds away from how he and they played in their first season together, when they were more interested in chasing each other around and roughhousing than in the game.

(granted, it was the boy's first real exposure to the sport and he was all of 5 years old, but i wondered if maybe it wasn't for him and, so, couldn't hold his interest. after these past two games, he might be on to something.)

the only misstep was our getting lost trying to find the field. that, and the birds that were using the front passenger side door as their nighttime toilet.

this led to our getting an automatic car wash after putting some gas in the jeep. the kids loved it. this was the boy's second time and the giant machine still had its charms; this was the girl's first and she was similarly enchanted.

car wash kids.

after getting home, though, i discovered that the water jets of the "express wash" didn't do too much to get rid of the droppings. this disappointment was quickly forgotten after i broke the key in the front door lock.

not only was the only person with the other key out of town, even if she were, she couldn't use it anyway. my go-to locksmith was closed for the weekend and wasn't answering his phone, so i went to the newsroom to access phonebooks and a bathroom for the kids to use.

(i forgot they were waxing the second floor hallway and had closed it off. as i navigated the building, the floor crew gave me a tentative ok to cross over. as a result, i had to sort of pick up and throw the kids into the old daily mail newsroom so as not to get too many feet on the fresh coat of wax.)

apparently no locksmiths worked saturdays and i left messages at two places that advertised "emergency service," one a voice mail and the other with a service. meantime, the time had arrived for a mom-sanctioned trip to mcdonalds for lunch.

i swung by the house first, on the off-chance that a locksmith was waiting for us and, seeing none, called the service to see how the case was progressing. they sounded puzzled and promised a return call. they also said there was time for lunch.

in the golden arch booth at the golden arches.

we arrived ahead of an early afternoon rush and took a place at the aesthetically pleasing arched booth. (the boy's idea. an eye for art, this one.) i thought i saw that the "plain" hamburgers had the usual complement of mustard, ketchup and pickles. it was confirmed as i watched the boy's face as he took that first bite. it wasn't quite a revolted, reflexive gag, but there was a concerned look — something wasn't right.

i explained to the lady at the counter, who put in an order for two plain burgers, which arrived expeditiously. they munched happily. the boy eats his like a sandwich; the girl deconstructs hers, eating the burger patty first, then the bread, then the fries. but they finished the entire thing. this meal made daddy happy indeed.

i asked the boy what he did after he took that bite of a burger with ketchup and mustard. he said he chewed it up and swallowed. did he like it? "a little." not ready yet. still, he hadn't closed the door on condiments entirely, which is a step in the right direction, right?

we saw a colleague getting a coffee drink and we chatted a bit. she invited us to watch the college softball game her husband was coaching. i wound up choosing to save that option as a last resort if it was going to be while before getting back into the house and i needed something to do with the kids.

meantime, i bought new car mats for the jeep. the kids didn't wander the aisles of the south charleston autozone or touch too many things and stayed fairly close by as i figured out which ones to get.

before we headed out to wherever we were going next (ballgame? indian mound across the street?), i called the service again. more surprise at a lack of response. this was more than three hours since my initial call.

long story short, their weekend guy was cracking a safe in parkersburg and probably out of cell phone range, so i got a guy who could help me once he finished a job he was doing on his truck. meantime, i got the bright idea to break into my house.

so we headed home, where i plopped the kids into the yard to play while i surveyed my options. some time later, i was inside and opening the front door. success. now there was the matter of the broken piece of metal in the keyhole.

broken lock.

the truck-fixing locksmith finished his job and had me text him a couple of pics of the lock to see if he could save me some money. he offered a suggestion that had me take apart the mechanism and free the broken key tip. and dang if, after a few nervous minutes, it didn't work. thank the Lord for the kindness of strangers. that was like putting $60 in my pocket.

by this time, a couple of hours had passed since lunch and the kids were hungry already. mom was going to be delayed and she suggested we get something. the kids knew what they wanted: pizza.

best part of the day.

a visit to the friendly, neighborhood husson's scored us a gluten-free cheese, a small pepperoni and eight chicken strips. the bonus was the manager, who i've come to be friendly with over the years, giving each of the kids a quarter to use in a ball vending game. i think this was the first time for her to meet any members of my family, so it was super-duper sweet of her.

full-meal deal.

the boy pretty well demolished the gf pizza on his own, along with all but three of the chicken fingers. the girl acquitted herself fairly well, taking down three slices and two chicken fingers. (i saved the last one for her.)

aside from the car mat purchase at the autozone, dinner was probably the only thing that went right all day. thanks husson's :-)

that said, though, there were silver linings in every dark cloud:

• the soccer team's growth
• the children's behavior at the office, at the restaurant, in the auto parts store
• the speedy resolution to the hamburger mix-up and the friendly folks at the golden arches
• the kind locksmith's money-saving tip
• the kids' playing nicely outside while i broke into the house and messed with the lock
• their eating very well for lunch and dinner

these were all positives. if they'd only been quicker with returning greetings, making eye contact and the thank you's at husson's they would have been ideal.

all-in-all, yeah, i'll call the day what i told the kids it would be as we butted up against our little challenges: an adventure, for sure, but also a pretty good one.

when heroes go down

ow

gonna need bigger star wars bandages.

all kinds of injury today.

locking up the house, having given up warning the boy to stop running down the hill to the car for school, i hear him take off, followed by the sound of gravel underfoot, the muffled crash of a full backpack and the wail of an injured child.

minus the denim protection of a pair of jeans, the boy in his khaki shorts scraped both knees pretty good. while not copious, the blood flowed fairly free, enough so that i unlocked the house to clean and dress the wounds. took three bandaids to cover the worst of them. (mama pointed out the larger bandages when we got home from his sister's soccer practice this evening.)

after said soccer practice, one of our girl's teammates got underfoot of her mama in the stands and appeared to somehow get a good bit of her fingernail ripped out. i had a few bandaids in the jeep, but there was nothing that was going to stop that gusher except for a bunch of gauze pads and direct pressure. i hope they got her to the emergency room.

then kris says before bed that a nitro boy is at the cleveland clinic tonight after a fishing accident where he was struck by a lure in the eye. prayers for the lad that he doesn't lose his sight.

exhibit a

prior to that, kris cleaned our son up in the tub, disinfecting his wounds with soap and water, then alcohol, which elicited more cries and wailing.

"why do i keep getting boo-boos?" he howled between dabs.

"because you're a boy," his mama softly explained by way of offering comfort.

i went in because he called out for someone to hold his hand. as kris tried again to clean his wounds, he writhed and cried out that he would "never, never, never touch alcohol.

"it hurts worse than a tiny ant getting killed!" (a surprising bit of metaphor from the boy there.)

we flushed the wounds one last time, giving him some control of the situation by having him use his fingertips to gently clean the scrapes under the cool water and then blotting the areas dry with a towel.

knees are tough to heal, what with the bending and all. hope he can manage these next few days ok.

last day

the boy was upset to learn that yesterday would be the last time his mama would take him to school. daddy taking him has already lost its novelty. apparently, the boy has his father's dislike of endings. 

innocent observation

gear.

a lot packed into a wednesday morning. inflating the kids' soccer gear. putting away laundry. ordering children to put away their dirty socks. explaining what constitutes a "pair."

"two socks are a 'pair' of socks."

"two shoes are a 'pair' of shoes."

"two gloves are a 'pair' of gloves."

the boy, musing on the pumped-up sports equipment: "i have a 'pair' of balls."

a flash of thought. a tight-lipped smile. a nod. "yes, you do."

simple things

my uncle wrote a letter to my mom in the early '80s because that's what you did back then when your communications didn't rise above the immediacy and expense of an overseas phone call.

(it did, however, merit its own special designation: "air mail," which came replete with identifying postage and sometimes its own rubber stamp. you could even use special stationery that folded into its own envelope to save on weight. i'd only ever used those a handful of times, so they always struck me as being fairly exotic.)

he was just writing to say "hi" to his baby sister in the states. he was helping care for his daughter, who was undergoing chemotherapy, and giving an update on her progress. 

a great older brother, he was generous, kind and thoughtful. (he still is, btw.)

mom passed along his words in a phone call while i was away for my first year of college. i was struck by one sentiment he shared in particular. 

the treatments my 16-year-old cousin was receiving were exacting a terrific toll and it was a struggle to help her keep up her strength. 

from this challenging perspective, my uncle philosophically mused on the things we took for granted, things like a healthy appetite or a good night's sleep. 

as a young man, i was struck by such a notion, that these things weren't a given. as a result, i've tried to remain cognizant of these simple things and grateful for the underrated contentment they provide. 

now, as a middle-aged guy closing in on senior citizen status, I'm experiencing the vagaries that come not only with aging, but responsibility. 

work continues to weigh heavily on my mind, as does the challenge of maintaining a homestead, modest as it is. 

after a couple of months of a literal office move and a shift in job expectations, i hit upon an approach that would lend better structure to my position. apparently, it was such a revelation that i was actually getting (relatively) full nights of rest sans sleeping aid.

friday and saturday nights were particularly gratifying. deep, r.e.m. sleep, complete with dreams. 

unfortunately, after about a month, i appear to be back on the waking up in the middle of the night track, which is weird because i had probably the most productive work day yesterday that i think i've had since the merger back in july. 

(seriously. got a major tech issue mostly squared away, got positive responses to some design work that i hope leads to new ways of doing things and may have charted a modified course by way of redesign that will get us where we need to be in advance of a more ambitious project down the line — establishing a base camp at the foot of the mountain, as it were.)

so, yeah. here i am writing before dawn, hoping i can snag one more hour of sleep before the babies wake up. wish me luck. 

saturday with the boy

saturday was one of those indoor days. a cold snap brought freezing temperatures and about an inch or two of actual snow.

secret "pizza party."

the boy had been pumped since at least friday for an afternoon with just him and me. 

his sister was going to a classmate's birthday party at chuck e cheese and his mama sold him on the idea of pizza lunch with daddy. (this part i wasn't aware of; i thought we'd be left to our own devices.)

he was talking about it in anticipation after school and before bed and after he arose saturday morning. he even made a sign he insisted should go on the front door. 

(it told the world of our pizza lunch, but when i asked what we'd do if people came over wanting some, he replied that we could just lock the door.)

apparently, though, the snow had inspired the boy to write a christmas story, which he would draw and i would "illustrate" (which meant that i would do the lettering). 

"the little mouse." a christmas story.

he conceived the plot and illustrated the pages as i pre-heated the oven and noodled on the computer. he dictated the story to me as i wrote. in the 16 minutes it took to bake, we were done.

the afternoon seemed kind of cut and dried: i figured it would just be lunch and a movie. but once mama and his sister left, he seemed to want to push it to dinner. he was also maneuvering toward playing video games*. 

once i dissuaded him from pizza and greasy fingers on the computer keyboard, we watched a few episodes of "special agent oso" on our netflix trial and  munched on frozen organic pizzas. (we polished off one and a quarter pies.)

i settled in for a nap while he played games on sesamestreet.org. i found "the princess bride" to fall asleep to just in time for mama and baby to come back home. (the girl actually asked to take a nap.)

worst movie ever.

meantime, i watch the movie and watched the boy not watching the movie.

he quit his games to watch the end, after which he declared it the worst movie ever. (he then proceeded to draw pictures of scenes inspired by it.)

he checked on the snowballs in the freezer that i made that morning after clearing off mama's car. i told him he and his sister could go out and make one before it all melted. 

it was a good, uneventful, laundry-doing kind of day. kris remarked as the boy was nattering on about his pizza afternoon that he was really looking forward to spending time with his dad. 

i'm embracing it, as i have no idea how many of these i'll be allowed to have. good Lord willing, there'll be plenty more. 

* this is probably going to be one of those things where we don't buck the popular trend. video games seem to be the lingua franca of young people these days. Lord knows if i had the money and put a premium on spending hours gaming on a screen and still run a household, i'd probably do it. if i'm not mistaken, it was this very friday that the boy asked if i knew what a "ps3" was. this is likely not a battle we can win; i suspect the best we can hope for is controlling it.

friday mass

catholic school kids

stopped by sacred heart after dropping off the boy for school. just wanted to sit for a few minutes and say hi.

i was a little surprised to see friday mass was still going on with the grade school kids. they were just getting ready for communion. the church was packed; i stood in the back. 

it had been a while since i'd attended a weekday children's mass. looking at all those young people and hearing them help lead the liturgy made me a bit wistful that my babies weren't going to get that opportunity (at least not on a regular basis).

i settled in and knelt at my pew after the recessional hymn as the kids filed out, their voices raising as they chatted with their classmates. (not sure sister augustine would have approved of that, btw.)

i was hit with the memory of my grade school self at how i regarded grownups and oldsters attending "our" masses. while i don't think i bore them any ill will, i did have the vague sense that they were trespassing. 

now, as the old stranger kneeling in "their" pews, i know that devout parishioners attend mass daily. and some folks just stop by the church to pray any time of day. 

while it's probably a little strange to feel a sense of ownership of a house of worship, it's probably the thing i want most for my children to grow into through a catholic school education. 

but it's less a sense of proprietorship of a specific building that i want them to possess as a sense of comfort in the structures of their faith — that they feel at home in their mother church wherever it might be. 

i'm not sure what kind of example their mom and i can set that could give them a similar sense of ease, but i'll have to hope and pray that we can somehow pass such a thing along. 

next up

unpeeled and uncut!

apples! whole!

seriously, it's the damnedest thing. that weird switch i keep talking about where periods characterized by lack of focus/cluelessness precede some manner of breakthrough behavior must have been active last month. 

he's overcoming offputting tastes and texture issues to try and, more importantly, like new foods. (or at least foods his mama has been trying to get him to eat.)

this also saves kris about 10 minutes of school lunch prep by way of peeling and cutting and soaking (to prevent browning). 

on the other hand, his appetite seems to be growing as fast as he is. we may be beginning to be eaten out of house and home. 

plus, he and his sister have been on some kind of artistic tear, if their output this weekend is any indication. (i'll scan those in later.) not sure it's related, but i'd like to think it is. 

no fooling!

tax documents.

a day of firsts.

today was probably the first time since i've been married that i turned in my taxes on time — meaning either not at the last minute or without having to file an extension. it felt weird.

more importantly, though, on a day when kris decided to act on the notion of having the kids eat the same thing mommy and daddy were eating, the boy for the first time ate chili and, to mom's shock and disbelief, broccoli.

(she whispered that just a few weeks ago when she tried to make him try it, he gagged and practically puked. the texture flipped him out, she said.)

the boy's bowl

the chili from a pioneer woman recipe wasn't particularly spicy or hot, but it had good flavor. but she dressed it up with grated white cheddar and crushed tortilla chips, which he just ate up. four servings worth of ate up.

the miracle, kris proclaimed, was that it opened the possibility to other meals, tacos in particular. we decided some kind of switch must have been turning on these past few weeks when he was acting particularly brainless and without focus.

the girl made a game attempt at finishing her bowl, delaying as best she could and eating as slowly as possible. she ate about two-thirds of her serving by the time we were putting away the dishes, which, all things considered, was pretty good.

this strange new food was a hit and a good start to a new way of eating for the kids. (frankly, i thought we were already doing a version of it, but i guess i was wrong.)