last one

ready to write.

as jarring as the year has been, personally, aside from losing my job, it's not been all that bad. i have a lot of friends who have lost more than a job: a mother, a brother, a sister, a father.

no, i haven't had that bad a year at all.

my resolutions, the only thing i seem to write in my journal these days, do, however, reflect more down-to-earth goals:

1. grow my faith, eg, via meditation, works of charity
2. clean the house
3. attend to my wife and family

that's it. i'm baseline now. why not raise the foundation?

walk with us, Lord, through these changes.

sick

gross post about bodily functions follows. seriously. you've been warned.

holiday bustle

exiting celebrity kroger, 8:41 a.m.

while i've managed these past couple of posts to bemoan not "catching" the holiday spirit, i will say, going to the grocery store the week before christmas, or even christmas eve eve, as i did today, does lend a festive air to the season.

we all know it's the last minute, we all know we're there's a price to be paid for procrastination and carelessness and we all know we're there for the same finite resources — we might as well be pleasant and good-humored about it.

(easier at 8 a.m. than, say, at 3 p.m., i'd be willing to wager. by that point, if you're not accepting and philosophical, you're just grim.)

my only gripe today? there was no eggnog to be found.

a word from our sponsor

Whether you're heading home for the holidays or staying put, take a moment to enjoy the High Life. pic.twitter.com/PxELnDZOLU

— Miller High Life (@millerhighlife) December 23, 2016

this. this is the thing. as much as people say they hate television commercials, i love a well-made one.

and i love them at christmas. it's that rare nexus where the sacred, the schmaltzy and the capitalist intersect, it's agreed that it's a special time.

sure, it's playing upon emotional appeals and the heartstrings of sentiment, but so what? like so many tree-shaped reese's cups and snowflake york peppermint patties, they make me feel good.

that fleeting sense of holiday spirit, however superficial it might be, sparks that child-like sense of surprise and delight that i feel has slipped through my grasp as i skid through middle age.

obviously, this isn't meant to be some sort of substitute for the glad tidings inherent with the savior's birth, but it does lend a little heartwarming, holiday jingle to the hard heart of commerce.

slow down

season snapshot.

a former colleague called to pass along an inquiry from someone who didn't know he'd left our office.

in the process, he asked how i was enjoying the season and i told him that it was going too fast for me to enjoy. as ever, i said, it's not until christmas is over that i wish i'd savored it more.

here we are, two days before christmas, and i'm anxious. anxious about cleaning, anxious about my job prospects, anxious about my wife who started violently throwing up yesterday with whatever the kids had, anxious that i'm letting the enjoyment of another christmastide slip away.

the children are excited. visions of sugar plums are dancing in their heads. i just want to hold them and hold on to their joyful anticipation and their childhood.

i need to let go of the worry and just be in the moment. i need my faith restored.

12.16.16

waiting for mama under the christmas decor.

it was a good day for hot dogs and hot cocoa at the mall.

mama's gift card yielded tasty starbucks cocoa.

eve

#blessed

this is our preschooler baby.

twelve to go

lots of shouting, crying and pouting in advance of the big man's arrival this year. not sure the kids are gonna make it. very 6 and 4. very 6 and 4. 

christmas spirit

kids vibrating with it. hurry, christmas; hurry fast. (but not too fast.)

the big show

lobby

after a year of waiting, the kids finally got to watch the charleston ballet and west virginia symphony orchestra's performance of "the nutcracker."

mama got the girl doo'd up in a lovely asian-inspired dress handed down from one of her cousins.

i finally broke out the sport coat for the boy that his aunt either handed down from her son or never actually got around for him to wear. regardless, it looked smart with his gold cords and one of daddy's scarves. he was very taken with himself.

as to the actual show, the kids were absolute gems. they were attentive through the whole two-plus hours — including intermission — and were impressed with the artistry and athleticism of the dancers.

kris and i were able to point out people we knew who were on stage. we even managed to grump about the cacophony of snack bags being crinkled throughout the second act and one audience member who never looked up from her smartphone after intermission.

while the girl began flagging a bit through the final numbers, neither she nor the boy were fidgety or distracted, unlike some people. (grumble, grumble.)

the end was punctuated by an extended ovation that included outgoing maestro grant cooper taking his final bows as conductor for the holiday favorite. i can't say enough about how much i appreciated his approach to orchestral music here in the kanawha valley — he made it accessible, instructive and fun. he'll be much missed.

while i'm not sure if this will be an annual event for us, i hope that it kindled in our children a love of the performing arts.

waiting for the curtain to rise.

circle thing

fresh boughs at the capitol market

the girl, looking at neighborhood christmas displays after dark: "look! look at the circle thing!"

(that's preschooler for "wreath." after the cuteness overload, mommy and daddy told her the proper name.)

the world is still so new for our babies.

tree

all smiles with gifts from ms pam

we weren't sure we were going to do the cut tree this year, but we did, which was nice. daddy set it up and la familia did the trimming.

song

january. february. march. april. may. june and july. august. september. october. november. december. how quickly the days go by. 

baby learned this in preschool this year. just like her brother did two years ago. how quickly the days go by.