Update on the Birthday Girl

Bria Akhi is 2 years old! Her birthday was on the 24th of August. A year ago we celebrated Bria's 1 year of life with only her picture in hand, but this year we got to give her hugs and kisses and watch her eyes get big with awe and excitement as her butterfly cake was set before her and birthday guests sang happy birthday.

It is amazing to think that it has only been 4 months since Bria has been home. Bria has adjusted beautifully to her new life here and our new family of 5 is doing well.

The 1^st few weeks home were pretty rough, though, especially the 1^st week. On top of dealing with jet lag, we were beginning the process of learning about and adjusting to each other. Bria's world was turned upside down. Communicating was hard. The only way Bria knew how to communicate was to cry. There was a lot of crying and fussing. We were amazed, though, at how quickly Bria started picking up sign language. By the end of the 1^st week Bria could sign “eat”, “more”, and “drink.” And she quickly learned more words after that. With some tools to communicate, the fussiness went down. Most crying then occurred when we couldn't get food to her fast enough. She wanted to eat all day long, and gobbled anything that was put before her. It was like she was making up for lost time. After about a month, she suddenly became picky. The blueberries she gobbled up the day before were now spit out. As frustrating as her pickiness was – it was a good sign! She felt secure enough with her food supply/source to feel she could be more choosy.

Sleeping was irregular for quite awhile. There would be nights where Bria would wake up 2-3 times a night and have a tough time falling back asleep. Other times she would sleep through the night. Some times she would would want to sleep in bed with us, and other times she preferred her crib. We were all over the place and pretty tired, but for a couple weeks now she has been consistently sleeping through the night – yay!

Attachment and bonding throughout this time has been going very well. Of course we will continue to work on strengthening attachment and building trust. Building trust takes time. On overly clingy days I find myself wondering if I broke Bria's trust in me somehow. I am great at over-analyzing! : ) Bria is a regular 2-year old toddler, yet we want to be sensitive to detecting issues that could be related to the adoption experience. We continue to pray for God's wisdom in helping us parent each one of our children as best we can.

Summertime has been great for us as our schedule became more relaxed. The boys were out of school and we all spent quality time together with Bria. We have enjoyed discovering more and more of Bria's sweet personality and her likes and dislikes.

Here are some things about Bria:

-Bria is full of life and energy, and I mean energy! She is a wiggle worm extraordinaire finding it difficult to sit or stand still for any length of time. She just has too much exploring to do! Exploring the stacks of “to put away” paperwork on the desk is important work. As well as combing through every drawer in search of rare treasures only to hide them in other parts of the house. A brush from the bathroom drawer should of course belong in her brother's shoe.

-Besides exploring, Bria is also fond of pretending to talk on the phone, feed her stuffed animals and dolls, and dress-up play. She likes to wear her brothers big flip-flops around the house.

-Bria has over the months come to enjoy books. In the beginning she would quickly page through a book, closing it and move on to the next book. Now she listens and looks on with interest waiting for each page to be read to her.

-Bria continues to use some sign language, but is now also picking up lots of words. It is so fun to hear all the new words she is learning.

-Bria is pretty social and enjoys being in group settings. Even in the first weeks of being home, when going to pick her brothers up at school, she loved to engage the other kids in the class.

-Bria loves dogs. We have a cat who Bria was initially afraid of and now tolerates, but place her in front of a dog and she will giggle with excitement. I see a dog in our somewhat near future.

-Did I mention Bria has lots of energy? She also has a streak of strong will in her coupled with a streak of independence and curiosity. That combination has kept me on my toes and on the go go go! Put her down and she is off, although occasionally looking back to make sure I am still in sight. : )

-Her favorite food is any Indian food along with other favorites like pizza and yogurt. She is quite the messy eater and often is compelled to brush her food clad fingers through her hair. I think it is a ploy to get a bath, which has become another favorite pastime.

-Bria gives the best hugs and is very affectionate.

-Aidan says that Bria is the funniest girl in the world.

-Bria likes to wrestle right along with her brothers. If Aidan and Karsten are on the floor wrestling, Bria will run and throw herself right on top of them. She calls both Aidan and Karsten: Ai-dum. I love watching the kids in their nightly routine of giving each other hugs and kisses. It melts my heart.

I thank God for blessing us with our sweet Bria. We couldn't imagine our family without her. And I praise Him for laying my two biggest fears to rest – Bria has attached and bonded well to our family, and the boys have taken to their little sister more than I ever hoped for. Happy Birthday sweet Bria Akhi. We look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with you!

Back Home!

We are home! After 26 LONG hours of traveling we finally made it back home over the weekend. Bria was a trooper, only having a difficult time for 4 out of the 26 hours. Jason and I were completely wiped out after the trip, and are still feeling the effects. Jason actually went in to see the Doctor today.

At the Denver airport we were greeted by my mom and 2 very excited big brothers. They were all smiles as they gazed upon their sister in person for the first time. Bria was still too groggy from being asleep on the plane to make any connections right away. Off to the car we were then greeted by a cold front. Bria drew in her breath each time a cold wind brushed by. What was this? And then she found herself being put in a car seat – how horrible! We made it home, though, and once inside she got her 2^nd wind. She was all giggles and babble as she and the boys interacted – being chased and loved on. My wonderful mom made us a delicious meal. So sorry she had to leave so soon!

“Adjusting” is the key word for our last few days, and probably will continue to be so for awhile. We are adjusting to being a family of 5, to less sleep at night (although Bria is sleeping fairly well – just getting up at 4 AM), to less free time, to new routines. We are enjoying the new dynamics Bria brings to our family, the laughter, tenderness and excitement. We are also trying to discern her bouts of fussiness and resistance. It is a time of both joy and challenge, and are so grateful to know God is right there with us!

We will need to start saving our pennies to one day return to India with the kids when they are older. I truly enjoyed the chance to see a glimpse of India. What a fascinating country - so unique, so many commonalities throughout the country, yet so diverse. This time, on our final drive to the New Delhi airport, I felt at ease as we weaved through the honking traffic. I breathed in the intoxicating air that smelled of spices and incense, and watched the busyness of the day in all its radiant colors. I look forward to going back one day with the family!

Visa in Hand!

It's a bit harder to find time to blog with little Bria here. : )

As of Easter Sunday evening we are back in New Delhi. Monday morning Bria had her medical exam, and today we had her visa appointment at the US Embassy. We were anxious to find out if the “article 23” document had arrived from the Indian authorities yet. This is a new document that is now being requested. We were told that we would need 2-3 days after the embassy appointment to wait for that document. But thankfully the article was already in hand at the embassy when we had our appointment. We are so happy about that! We received Bria's US visa this afternoon! But now we have 3 days left before we can go back home to our boys! We are ready to be back home with them and have them get to know their cute sister.

We too are still getting to know little Bria. Through Monday evening she showed us a serious and somber side. There were some smiles and some playing, but she mostly wanted to be held. Monday evening we skyped with our boys and their grandparents. Seeing and hearing her brothers must have pulled Bria out of her shell. She started babbling and smiling at them and showed off by walking back and forth from the computer screen. Since then, Bria has been quite the babbler. It is great to see more of her personality coming out. Along with learning more about her personality we are seeing more where we need to keep working on attachment. Right now Bria feels uneasy about being held by Jason. Coming from a place where she had all female caretakers, this reaction is normal.

I find myself wondering how many “firsts” Bria is experiencing – has she ever had someone cuddle her while falling asleep at night, ever had someone cover her face and neck with kisses, ever had someone give her undivided attention... I hope she treasures this from us as much as we treasure it.

Presenting Bria Akhi!

Bria Akhi is fast asleep right now, so we thought I'd quick update you on Bria day...

Our appointment at the orphanage was for 4 PM. We spent the afternoon getting our hotel room ready – getting diapers, bottles, food and other baby supplies out of the suitcase and set up. We gathered all the donations for the orphanage that we collected from our church and placed them in bags. We got the gifts for the orphanage Director and the caretakers (ayahs) ready. Then it was time to meet our driver in the lobby. Our driver was the most wonderful driver! He has been the driver for many of the families who have adopted from Bria's orphanage, so he knew exactly where to go and what needed to be done. He first took us to the original orphanage where the infants and special needs children are. Bria spent the first part of her life here. The ayahs introduced us to each of the children and so lovingly interacted with them in turn. The children's faces lit up with smiles. You could tell what love and care the ayahs have been providing for all the kids. One ayah asked us which child we were going to pick up. We mentioned Akhi, and she knew right away who that was. Walking through the remaining rooms she introduced us to the ayahs in those rooms as Akhi's parents. They smiled in recognition. That was the first time we heard someone call us Akhi's parents – what a beautiful ring it has. : )

Next we drove on for a few blocks to the orphanage where Bria Akhi was. We entered a long hallway that led to white marble steps. At the top of the steps was an open room. Our eyes were drawn to 2 doors that were adjacent to each other. One door was open – this was the orphanage director's office. It was great to finally meet Ms. Roy. She has been very busy lately with trying to keep up with all the changing adoption rules, and with the paperwork for all the families that are now getting through the courts. We sat down with her in her office to go over and sign more paperwork. We then gave her the bags of donations and gifts, which she gratefully accepted. They will go to great use in the orphanage! One of Bria's ayahs came in and we got out our list of questions to ask her regarding Bria – like how she likes her bottle temperature (which is hot), what her daily routine is, what food she eats, what her personality is like. She said that Bria normally is a happy girl, but that this morning Bria was unusually serious and quiet. The ayahs were wondering if she knew she would be leaving, or maybe she could sense that the ayahs were sad. I can only imagine how hard it must be for them to say good bye to the children they have so lovingly cared for. Makes me tear up thinking about it. I am so grateful for all the care and love they have given to Bria, which we also tried to express to them.

Once we finished asking our questions we started walking over to the next door to meet Bria. To our surprise we see a little girl walking out of the door holding a box of biscuits as though sent on an important mission – it is Bria! How adorable she looks in a little green outfit with white polka dots. We get down to her level and she stops. She rethinks her mission and turns around to head back to her room. We follow her into her room. We see the other babies all standing in their cribs looking on with interest at the new strangers of the day. We recognize many of the babies from having exchanged pictures with other waiting families. Bria found her way back to the side of her ayah. We get back down to her level and start talking to her, and stroke her beautiful skin. She is not interested in letting me pick her up. The ayah gives me a biscuit that opens the door for me to pick Bria up. In my arms at last! She feels wonderful. We walk around and sway, and there is no crying. After awhile though, Bria begins to cry a bit. I put her down so she can go back to her ayah. Her ayah brushes her hair one more time and puts powder on her neck (helps with the sweat – did I mention it is very hot?!), saying good bye. After awhile it is time to go. I pick Bria up and some crying begins as we head for the door. In the foyer another ayah takes her and carries her down the stairs, but she still continues to cry. The ayah starts to make a clicking sound in an effort to sooth Bria. It works. The ayah gives her back to me and we head to the car. Once in the car, Bria starts to cry again. This time, Jason starts to make the clicking sound which quickly calms Bria. During the car ride to the hotel she rests her head against me and a time of silent grieving begins.

In the last 24 hours in our hotel room Bria has done a lot of sleeping. When awake she wants me to hold her close. She is still grieving and trying to figure us out, but right before putting her down for the night, she gave us her first smile while I was kissing the bottom of her feet. Yay! We also had the opportunity to meet up with Emily, Kirk and baby Asha Moni. Asha and Bria were together in the same orphanage. It was fun to get the girls together. We are hopeful for another play date (or two) in Delhi before flying back home.

Thank you for all your prayers!! God answered them by calming our hearts and minds, and helping Bria Akhi when leaving the orphanage. We continue to pray that she will soon feel more at peace, and know how much we care for her. Another prayer request is for fast healing of a chest cough Bria currently has.

Bria Day!

We are in Kolkata - our daughter's city! We are so excited to be here – so close to where our baby girl has spent the first 20 months of her life. We are trying to take everything in – the smell, the sound, the many different sights, the feel of humidity. Kolkata is one of the largest cities in the world per population, and is very congested. Here not only does the traffic have its weaving dance, but the people in the market places also weave their way through dense crowds.

While we were in Jaipur we met a family from Kolkata that was there on vacation. We exchanged numbers, and yesterday we met with them at one of the market places. They are a delightful family, also with 2 children the same ages as our boys. They have invited us for lunch – chicken Biryani is the menu. My tummy is happy! : )

We had originally planned to pick Bria up on Friday so that we could do a little bit of sight seeing on Thursday, but we found out that the orphanage Director won't be in on Friday. So guess what today is... Bria day!!! I can't believe it is finally here! We are very excited to hold our baby girl. At the same time we feel a bit apprehensive, especially after some of the reports we received from the families that have already picked up their children and from our adoption program director. It seems that Bria is quite vocal about what she does not like, and one thing she does not like is strangers. I don't blame her. I'm glad to hear that she wants her caretakers and has a bond with them. This will hopefully mean that she will be able to bond again. We are praying that God will be going ahead of us to calm her heart and fears, and that if it is difficult for her, that God would grant us the strength to help her and comfort her. Our 2 boys were pretty vocal, so God has given us some practice with that. : )

Thank you for your prayers!

Traveling on...

Jaipur – the pink city. It is called the pink city because it was painted all in pink for the visit of the Prince of Wales in the 1850's. It is the capital city of the state Rajasthan. The city is bustling with activity, and boasts of old royal architecture tastes to the new modern business tastes. We visited the Amber Fort which was built in 1592. It is known for its beautiful style of Hindu and Mughal design. A protection wall winds itself up and over the hills around the old city. We entered through the fort gate by way of elephant! After the Amber Fort, we were supposed to go to the City Palace, but the Palace was closed. It so happens that the last King of Jaipur passed away the day before. India got rid of royal titles in 1971, but he continued to be referred to as King (Maharaja) in his home state. All flags were at half mast and preparations were in work for the funeral the next day. At the same time funeral plans were being made, a wedding engagement was being celebrated in the streets. An engagement celebration is typically done right before the wedding. The groom and his family and friends arrive at the bride's house in a parade. The parade we witnessed was quite elaborate including a number of floats and three parade bands. It is a public declaration of their engagement and wedding.

Leaving the pink city, we then moved on to our next stop – Bangalore.

Bangalore, in South India, is known as the Silicon Valley of India. It is a modern city with construction and development going on everywhere. It is also one of the cleanest cities in India. It is in this city where the organization that I work for has its headquarters. UEMI – United Evangelical Mission International. UEMI has 3 main programs – one that reaches out to destitute women, one that meets the needs of education for children , especially in the slums, and one that trains local pastors. They have started programs throughout India.

When we arrived at the office we first met all the staff. We were surprised by being presented with 2 beautiful flower garlands. They called it the “garland of love” for us. First they put one around Jason's neck, and then Jason put one around mine. So sweet of them! It was wonderful to finally meet some of the people that I have been emailing over the last number of years regarding work topics – I could now put a face to the names. We had a wonderful devotion time together.

While at UEM, we visited the Talitha Cumi Women's program – a program that provides women with tailoring skills. Most of these women have faced difficult life situations. Upon completion of the program, they can get a job in a garment factory or work from home. We met 12 of the women in the current program. They all sang a song for us, and then a couple of them shared how they came into the program, and what it has meant for them. One woman shared with us that she had a “love marriage,” basically meaning that it was not arranged by her parents. Her parents did not approve of this and broke off relations with her. Cut off from any support from her family, she felt the need to learn a trade so that she could help support herself and her husband.

Unfortunately we were not able to see the Children's programs since it was summer break for the children. During the school year the children live in a children's home close to the school, but during break they go back to their parents' home. It would have been fun to see the kids in action. While there, we wanted to meet the boy that we sponsor. We didn't think it would work out, but after returning from lunch, we discovered that the Field Director was able to locate his home in one of the slums and brought him to the office for us to meet. What a sweet young boy he is! We feel so honored to have gotten to meet him. He taught us how to do the Indian head swagger or bobble. In India you don't nod your head front to back to signify yes, instead you tilt your head side to side a number of times. I love it. I still need lots of practice.

UEMI is getting ready to start building a brand new school on land that they purchased. They have outgrown the existing school facility. We were able to visit the plot of land where the school will be built. The children will be thrilled with their new school.

We are so thankful to JPK for hosting us, showing us around, and for all the wonderful work they are doing!

Now to Kolkata...

The first two days...

Namaste!

In the short 2 days that we have been here in India, we have already seen so much!
Before we began our drive to Agra from New Delhi, we met up with 2 families that had just picked up their children from the ISRC orphanage in Kolkata. It was great to meet them and their adorable children! Then they were off to deal with Visa complications. I'm glad to hear they were able to finalize the visas and make their flights home!

We then left for Agra and were introduced to the art of driving and the music of the horns - weaving around and between cars, motorcycles, bikes, camel drawn carts, pedestrians and cows, all while steadily using the horn to announce one's approach. The whole 4 hour drive from Delhi to Agra was a constant weaving dance. Once in Agra we first visited the Agra Fort. While there we were asked by some Indians if they could take our picture. I guess we are a curious sight. There are many stares. Even the monkeys weren't quite sure what to think of us. As Jason was taking a picture of a baby monkey, Mama monkey became offended that he did not first ask for permission, and started to charge Jason. People shooed Mama away in time, only to discover that the monkey had bitten someone else just seconds later as her baby ran through a crowd. There are many peddlers trying to push their wares at the different tourist areas. Our driver tells us to ignore them, but it is so hard to ignore the children peddlers who's eyes are so intense and pleading, and many of whom may be homeless. It was quite a first day that left us feeling a bit overwhelmed.

I think I was expecting that I would adjust right away since I had lived in Honduras for 6 months - a place where I adjusted quickly to all the stares and chaotic driving. I even drove a car while there. But I think a big part has to do with the jet lag, and not having too much experience with the Indian culture and language.

Today has already been a different story. We connected with our driver and guide- learning abut their childhood, their marriages, children, work, joys and sadness.  Our guide was so excited about the birth of his 1st child 4 days ago. He is studying to be a teacher of Indian history. Our driver was telling us how he is in the process of seeking the right husband for his 17 year old daughter, and how all the digging and researching of different families has become more difficult than it used to be. Driving along the road from Agra to Jaipur we also learned more about the livelihood in this part of rural Rajastan. It is wheat harvesting time. Looking out you see splotches of bright colors in the wheat fields - the beautiful colored saris worn by the women who are cutting and bundling the wheat. This wheat is used to feed the livestock. In other areas within the wheat fields, we saw many brick-making kiln towers and children playing cricket. By the way, did you know that India just won the world cup in cricket? The driving is still chaotic, and as our driver says..."no brake, only go," but I think I'm starting to get used to it.

The Taj Mahal is remarkable. The detailed marble carvings, the cut inlay of precious gems, the way the gems sparkle when hit just right by the sun, and all of the symmetry. All of this done by Shah Jahan as a tribute of his love for his wife Mumtaz.

We are now in Jaipur and look forward to a full day of sightseeing tomorrow - even going on an elephant ride up to a palace.