How to keep a clean house?

How to keep a clean house? 
This article "10 Habits to a Clean Home" says:

1. Shine Your Sink
(see Flylady for more details!) I currently don't do dishes. My 12 year old does. But he doesn't shine the sink every night. I think I need to train him on it. It makes such a difference to wake up to a shiny sink.

2. Wash One load of laundry daily.
Um. Big family. We need two loads a day to keep up. But still good advice.

3. Process mail immediately.

4. Create a command center.

5. Throw away trash.

6. Straighten up every night.
So difficult! I'm tired at night. I will have to try this. 

7. Create a cleaning schedule.

8. Become a minimialist.
So wise. When we had most of our stuff boxed up for a YEAR as we were selling out home in Oregon, we lived much more minimalist. My current home has stuff encroaching. I need to declutter again! It's a first world problem.

9. Do one thing.

10. Have a junk drawer.
Done! We have a junk drawer. Sometimes in each room. What is this, confession? :)

I just read one of the most powerful articles on parenting that I think I've ever read. It's from the Arbringer Institute, which has written other books that have changed my life (particularly Bonds That Make Us Free). And with 5 pages of a carefully written article, "The Parenting Pyramid," they've done it again.

"In times of crisis, the temptation is to let the corrective action use up all our energy. But this is a mistake. Ultimately, the problem with our child goes deeper than discipline--and so does the solution. This is the time to begin identifying, and doing, the kinds of things that the deepest levels of the pyramid recommend. It is the time for greater goodness, for greater emphasis on our marriage, for any ways--however small--to help rebuild affection. In such extreme circumstances, it may be a long time before we're in a position to teach. But that's precisely what the pyramid reminds us: premature teaching will not be effective anyway. As we are patient, and as we do all we can where we can, we can make a deep and genuine difference in the life of even the most unhappy child."

I have teenagers. I needed this!

Motherhood: An Intellectual Experience?

I ran into an interesting article (thank you Kelly!) from one of my friends on Facebook called "To Have or Have Not-A Baby" which discusses motherhood or childfree living. This article led to an interesting discussion among my intellectual mother friends and it got me thinking about my own motherhood and how I have made mothering more intellectual experience.

This is what my cousin Alyssa commented: "I was especially interested in this: "According to the author of the book The Intelligence Paradox, maternal urges drop by 25 percent with every extra 15 IQ points. Although he opines that such women are too smart for their own good, one could also infer that you’re dumb if you have kids."
I can't prove it scientifically, but I would argue that the more intellectual women have a hard time facing the mundanity of motherhood. Realistically, the day ins and outs of having small children are often boring, and not intellectually challeging (I think you can make them more interesting, but some tasks are inherently boring, like cleaning). Also, at first, you are around little ones with sometimes limited interaction with adults. Women who need that intellectual stimulation may be less likely to decide that want to make the sacrifices motherhood requires. I have struggled with that in the past, and having Lennon was definitely a spiritual and heart-driven decision rather than an intellectual one. The hardest part is you don't really see the rewards of motherhood unless you actually HAVE children. It's a leap of faith."

And this was my response: "I absolutely agree that motherhood is a leap of faith. After being told, though, that motherhood would be a waste of my brain, I must admit that I've found it to be the opposite in many ways. At first, it felt that life at home with just a little baby was a brain drain. BUT, I discovered that taking my role of mother and turning it into teacher added a whole intellectual component. The Teach Your Baby series was a huge help with this when my babies were just adorable blobs. Knowing how to teach them at that stage and learning more about brain development than I ever thought I'd know, changed my perspective on my babies from blobs to brain-geniuses. Knowing that they were learning at the fastest rate they would in their entire lives--and that I could add to that learning in an intentional way--WOW that has been very intellectually demanding. And has given me tremendous experiences as a teacher-mom. This has continued as I have homeschooled my children.

I can't say it's easy though!

But it's because of my experiences teaching my children that I've written children's books, taught essay writing and Shakespeare, all these life-enriching experiences that I'm currently enjoying have stemmed from being a Mom.

Was motherhood a change from being a college student preparing for law school or a career woman? Yep!
Was it a difficult adjustment? In many ways, yes.
Was it worth it for me? Absolutely yes.
Do I go around telling other women that they need to make my same choices? Nope.

And now I must do some of the mothering un-intellectual work and help my young son in the bathroom. TMI? Just part of motherhood!!"

Since this discussion, and after assisting my son with his bodily functions, I've fielded some questions about the Teach Your Baby series, which I thought I'd answer here (see sidebar to the right for a Amazon link to the books).

The series is based on fun, enthusiastic presentation of flashcards. If it's not fun, then don't do it. And that's for the naysayers who think that babies should learn without any parental guidance. I think parents are the primary teachers for their children and I think that begins at birth. But what do we teach during the blob stage? This series gave me those answers!

Teaching Baby How To Read uses white cardstock (cut in strips from a poster board or just 8.5x11 white cardstock) and a big fat red marker for the flashcards. We write out, (no cursive) one word per paper, words baby finds most interesting, starting with "Mommy" and "Daddy" all the way to "Tyrannosaurus Rex" (if your baby is like my babies! :) ). My son, who is recovering from autism, learned to speak by learning to read this way. Two of my other children became speed readers with this system. It works! And we were not rigid about it. For about three months I was the most consistent with it. We did flashcards at least twice a day, particularly before nap, bedtime, and after diaper changing. I'd keep a set of 10 cards close to those places so I could speed through them and then we'd be done. When I was lying on the couch sick with morning sickness, I'd keep a stack under the couch. I'd motion then over, show them the cards, and then wave them away feeling like I'd done something for their brains that day (it was helpful for my moral during very sick pregnancies).

Teach Your Baby Math is taught with red dots on the cards showing "how much" rather than the symbolic number which doesn't SHOW numerical value. Makes so much sense, right? We were mainly consistent with the first 20 cards. We were missing card number 15, and when my daughter learned to speak and count, she kept skipping card 15. Which proves that the system works. She's 16 now and bears no scars for missing that card, she can count to 20 just fine (and higher!! :) ). Which proves that my mistakes as a parent are overcome-able! :)

The idea behind Teach Your Baby Encyclopedic Knowledge is that children before age six are learning at such a high rate, that any facts we intentionally expose them to will be filed away with the rest, useful as a foundation for later when they're older and prepared for actual knowledge and understanding. For example, even if a child hasn't met a dog before, if she has been exposed to 10 cards showing different breeds of dog, she'll have a sense of what "dog" is, and when she meets a dog for the first time she'll recognize it as a DOG. I showed 10 cards of different insects to my son before he was speaking much. Over a year later, when he was speaking some but not tons, we were in a Science museum and my son walked over to the insect display and said, "Giant Walkingstick," pointing to the, er, Giant Walkingstick. These cards developed a great interest in Science. Although it was fun for him, I think Science is a big part of the economic future so I'm delighted that he has a foundation in it. And it's made learning Science easier as he's grown.

Beware with the book Teach Your Baby to Be Physically Superb, it works! One of my sons was RUNNING and CLIMBING at 9 months old. This was early. His judgement was severely outstripped by his physical abilities and I am relieved that he lived through that stage. However, when this son was diagnosed with autism just before his fourth birthday, I found myself so grateful for having done the Physically Superb exercises. His great progress in recovery from autism and his lack of typical autistic clumsiness are attributed, I think, to following this book's pattern when he was a baby. I think the book could be called "Physical Therapy You Can Do At Home With Your Baby."

As you can see, I'm a fan of this series. I felt it gave me an intellectual experience as a mother of young children and that has brought me so much growth. Good Luck! And don't be overwhelmed by the book's outline of work. Remember, every little bit your do for your child benefits him/her!! And just take it a day at a time. :)

And I'm going to end on another friend's comment on the Facebook post, "I think the most important part of this article is describing 'joy'. You can list unlimited pages with reasons not to have kids but you can't really explain the word joy. It's not fun, it's not happiness, it's not worry-free, its not satisfaction but it is the culmination of creation, work and sacrifice and it might be the ultimate emotion that God gave us. Joy is rare and children bring it in abundance."

~Valerie Harmon

How to delete pictures off your iPad 2

I know deleting pictures off an iPad sounds simple. However, there are certain pictures that an iPad does NOT like to delete. It is rather rebellious that way. However, I have now tamed the beast and I'm happy to tell you how!

I had several hundred pictures on my iPad that I had uploaded to it. That's the problem. iPad only likes to delete photos taken by it and refuses to easily delete any other kinds.

So...plug in the iPad to your iMac. Open Preview and then click on File. Click on Import from [name of your iPad, ours was Titanic so that we could see the words "Titanic syncing," just a little laugh every time]. Select all your images (you can do this easily by pushing Command-A, or you can do this one at a time if you're a glutton for punishment). Then notice the red "delete" circle at the bottom. Click on that, say "yes, you are sure!" (and click on the answer to that question) and viola, the pernicious pictures that refused to leave after being asked politely, well, they are now gone and I have space on my iPad again.

If that doesn't work, then try this (WARNING: make sure you've taken off all the photos you want to keep since this deletes all photos on your iPad): 

Create a folder on your hard drive that is named whatever you want (but NOT the name of the folder that actually contains anything). Connect your device, then open iTunes, click on your device's name, then Photos and sync to that empty folder (check the Sync box, Choose Folder, choose your new empty folder, Apply). iTunes will sync to that empty folder, and all your iPad pics will be gone. You still have all of your photos in the usual place on your computer.

Then if you want to upload just a select group of photos to your iPad, copy these photos into a new folder on your computer and name it something like 'photos for upload to iTunes'. Then go back to iTunes and sync to that folder. Then you will have ONLY those photos on your iPad.

On another note, I thought it would be a lot more difficult to fill up 28 Gigabyte iPad. It was not difficult at all and I must be so very careful with my space, just a year and half later. Note to self: Buy more space than you'll think you'll ever use, you will be wrong and use it all!

~Valerie Harmon

How to Plan A Family Reunion

I'm in charge of two family reunions this year. I come from a family of nine kids (this is what we looked like in 2011).

And so does my husband (this is what we looked like at Christmas 2012)!

So, as you can see, our reunions are LARGE when everyone can attend. And I'm in charge of both this year. And I'm not freaking out. It's true, I haven't developed a single twitch or bout of insomnia. Because I have this great family reunion pattern that I've honed over the years. People keep asking me about my family reunion pattern (and are surprised at the lack of crazy), so I thought I'd share it here.

I'm not going to give you a complete worksheet for family reunion planning. But I will lay out some of the decisions that have made our family reunions easier on The Organizer (and the wallet).

LAY OUT A SCHEDULE
I lay out the day(s) and the meals like this:

Monday
8am Breakfast
12pm Lunch
5 pm Dinner

Then add the snack times (you must have snacks!):
Monday
8am Breakfast
10am Snack
12pm Lunch
2pm Snack
5 pm Dinner
7pm Snack

Then add the activities (just a time slot right now):
Monday
8am Breakfast
10am Snack and Morning Activity
12pm Lunch
2pm Snack and Afternoon Activity
5 pm Dinner
7pm Campfire (or Evening Gathering, whatever you want to call it)
7pm Snack (S'Mores for us, if it's a Campfire)

This is the first part of the pattern. I use it every year and it's been a good balance between free time and scheduled time.

CHOOSE A THEME
Now choose a theme. Why a theme? Because a theme adds the framework for the event. Everything ties together in a cohesive whole, when you have a theme. If you need ideas, go to Pinterest. This is the board I created for our Olympic-themed reunion. This is another board where I collected Camping ideas. With Pinterest boards, your vision for the reunion can be easily shared with everyone else. You want fun crafts and games and recipes that go along with the theme? Your board collects the ideas for everyone to see.

HOW MANY COMING?
You need to know how many people are coming to the reunion in order to start the next ball rolling.  Once you know your numbers, then you can figure out how many meals/snacks each family needs to be responsible for. This year, each family needs to be responsible for one meal and one snack, for 54 people. Yes, that's a lot of people. Yes, that's a lot of food. But we only have to make ONE meal (our reunion is three nights and four days long) the entire time, and the rest we are sitting around enjoying ourselves.

FOOD PREP
Let's take a moment and talk about food and its preparation. I've been to family reunions where The Organizer is in charge of menu planning and buying food for the entire reunion (plus all the activities). Typically, people help out with the prep and cleanup. But this sort of set-up is why people burn out when organizing reunions! There is another way to organize the food of a large group.

My pattern has each family plan a meal, buy the food, prep the food, and clean up the food (they don't have to serve it because we always lay it out buffet style). This pattern has SO MANY benefits. Families on smaller budgets can choose to make inexpensive meals (like pancakes for breakfast, an inexpensive meal that can feed a lot of people). Families that make elaborate meals can also do the extensive cleanup those kind of meals take (one year we had the rule that families who cooked didn't have to clean their own cooking, and that was a disaster--it's much better to have you clean up what you cook (makes for cleaner cooks!)). The only con with this food prep pattern is that families with allergies must bring backup food since other families are making the food. But families with allergies are used to that (aren't we?). One caveat, if it's a nut allergy, which is life threatening, then everyone in the family needs to accommodate that allergy. But if it's gluten or diary etc, then families just need to bring extra food for their child.

DELEGATE
Now it's time to delegate. I email out a note to everyone in the family, and it reads like the one below. Some things I want to point out:

1. You will notice it's very enthusiastic and cheery. Yep, that's how my reunion note sounds. If you want enthusiasm you must project enthusiasm. And reunions deserve excitement!):
2. I assign people by name to be in charge of the different activities. I make sure I have an assignment for one member of each family. This shares the responsibility (delegate!) and makes everyone feel like they're part of the reunion. Everyone needs to feel needed.
3. The "campfires" or evening activities are always themed the same: Talent Show, Game Night, and Family Story night. These are great for all ages, they always include a snack (s'mores if it's around the campfire) and they make for GREAT family video (especially the Talent Show). Every family is required to provide 1-2 talents for Talent Show night and a family story for Family Story Night. The stories can get "boring" for the littles, so we make sure they have something to do during the stories (like cook marshmallows).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"It's Family Reunion Time. Yay!!

The theme for this year is Family Olympics: Go For The Gold. Below is the list of meals.

Everyone needs to choose one meal and one snack. First ones to email me get their reserved spot! Keep in mind that we are feeding 54 people this year. Remember, you only have to prep, cook, and clean ONE meal (and a snack) the whole reunion. The rest of the time you can relax and enjoy the time together. I need some people in charge of these activities:
Olympics: ____ will you head this up?
Crafts: _____ will you head this up?
Talent Show Night:  _____ will you head this up?
Family Story Night: _____ will you head this up?
Game Night: _____ will you head this up?

Thank you for your help!
Here is the tentative schedule. Remember to email me back ASAP to reserve your meal and snack:
Monday
8am Breakfast
10am Snack
10am Olympics- led by ______
12pm Lunch
2pm Snack
2pm Crafts- led by ______
5 pm Dinner
7pm Talent Show Night- led by ________
7pm Snack

I am so excited to see all of you! Cabin information will be coming soon.
Love,
~Valerie"
----------------------------------

LOCATION
If you're not doing an overnighter, your reunion will be immensely easier to plan. But I think there's something special about sleeping over, and since moving a large group the same direction takes 15-30 minutes (at least!), sleeping over decreases that lag. But where to hold your reunion?

A Large Home: A very large house with a room for each family has worked well for us. Above is the house we used in 2011 in the Utah mountains (warning, it snowed even though it was June, but thus are memories made!). Babies can take naps behind a closed door without parents being away from the excitement. Introverts have a place of refuge if needed. All the relatives get plenty of together time. The cons of the arrangement is definitely cost--it's expensive. And it can be hard to find a place for all the food and gear of so may people.

If you choose this Large House option, I highly recommend a swimming pool. It's a great activity for all ages and you don't have to leave the grounds. The large home I want us to stay in next year has this pool (Yeah!!):

Tent Camping: We tried this for the first time this year (yes, the first reunion I'm in charge of this year happened last week, I have till August for the second). It was a bit of a disaster (should I admit that, considering you're coming here for reunion advice?). Setting aside the debate from relatives who want flush toilets not porta potties, we had some unforeseen difficulties.

Those dark clouds heralded a TORNADO WATCH, southern Idaho

The first night we had winds so strong that they broke the poles on one tent and bent the poles on another (my husband collapsed our tent, at midnight, when we could feel the winds were very heavy, and so we spent a sleepless night trying to keep our sleeping bag and pillows from flying away). The second night we had a Tornado Watch with lightning. By 11pm the sky had cleared and we were able to sleep out in the open (better than the night before!) but earlier in the evening we had to pack up all our gear ready to evacuate if needed (it was very dramatic). Tent camping with a huge group is for the very brave. The other concern was cooking. We camped near a pavilion with a fridge and stove (yay!) and a very large fire pit. If we had tent camped on a mountain, our original plan, we would have had to feed everyone off food cooked on a tiny campstove. We probably would've broken down and bought a big propane stove for the reunion, but since we camped near civilization, we didn't have to. We also changed our plan from mountaintop camping to civilization camping because we could see that the area would have a fire ban. What is camping without a fire? Nothing! It is nothing without a fire. A fire is vital. So we changed venue.

SCOUT CAMPS

Here's my family in 2009 at a scout camp Reunion. 

My side of the family uses a scout camp for the reunion every year. This year we changed to a Cub Scout camp, but the general set up is the same: individual cabins, commercial kitchen, stage near a fire pit, a large body of water next to camp, AND flush toilets!! This new camp has flush toilets inside the cabins, which is new. The camp we've been using for a decade only has communal bathrooms, so we're moving up in the world this year. But flush toilets are always available in both scout camps, and that appeases the relatives who really really care! Scout camps add up to a fabulous location for a large amount of people. Even with 54 people, each family will have their own cabin--which will help with those napping babies and introverts. The commercial kitchen makes feeding a crowd easier and the water means swimming, canoeing and water skiing (my Dad always brings his boat).

ACTIVITIES
Wherever you plan your reunion, you can make your own fun on site. But if you're in Idaho or Utah, those states really have family friendly fun. This year we had our Harmon reunion in Idaho. We spent a day at Stedman's Water Slide and Farm (with two 500' waterslides and zipline. Wow!),

 The last day in Idaho, we headed to my mother-in-law's reunion with her siblings and extended family at Harris Pond and Zipline (3 acre pond, paddle boats, huge zip line, fountain, and pirates (although I do not guarantee your reunion will have pirates throwing you in or trying to swamp your boat, they may only exist in my family)).

Family is the most important thing to me, so making time and money in our schedule and budget for a reunion rates pretty high. I value the relationships I formed with my siblings and cousins, and see my children doing the same. Some people might recoil in horror when I say that our vacation time is all taken up with family reunions. Of course I can think of more romantic ways to spend a vacation, or more exotic ways. But you can't beat the thrills of a reunion (did you see those zip lines?) or most of all, the swelling of love you feel as you look around the campfire at all the smiling sticky faces roasting marshmallows and laughing together. It's worth it!

Stick Family Picture

Father's Day is next Sunday....and I'm making a photo book for hubby with pictures from last Halloween all the way until now. I made this Stick Family (from Widdlytinks.com) to start the book off. We haven't taken a family picture recently, so this will have to do. :)
And I'm getting a good deal! I am using the Groupon coupon for Picaboo--I'm getting a $39.99 hardback photo book for $10.00. It's the first time I've ordered from Groupon. Yay for good deals. :) I just hope it arrives fast! :)

Merit Badge: Citizenship in the Nation

I put together my first blog post dedicated to a merit badge. I'm looking forward to this merit badge clinic this week. But I realized that I want to have a specific place to upload merit badge stuff. So I made a separate blog at http://scoutmeritbadges.blogspot.com/ Any more merit badge work I do, I will post there, so this Harmony Post stays mainly my family's blog. :) If you're interested, I made a Facebook page for merit badge counselors and scouts at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Merit-Badge-Counselors/271164182925762 so I can more easily connect to other merit badge counselors. :)

How to earn Citizenship in the Nation Merit Badge:

1. Get a blue card signed by your Scout leader. Then choose a merit badge
counselor off the list he has--make sure you write down the counselor's phone
number.

2. Call the merit badge counselor, meet with him/her (never alone, always
bring a buddy) and they will help you achieve it. Bring a copy of the merit
badge worksheet (click here for a copy you can print or this
one which is a complete worksheet including charts and maps<

3. Read the merit badge booklet--that will have all the key information you
will need to know in order to fill out your worksheets. But I am adding some
visual resources below that can supplement the booklet (nothing can replace it
or add to the requirements).

Do At Home:

1. Read newspaper/watch news on tv for 5 days straight

2. Write a letter to an elected official

3. Tour a state capitol or US capitol building and a federal building (unless you choose the National
     landmark or monument route). Finding National Historic Landmarks in your state: Go to www.wikipedia.org and search within wikipedia for "list of national monuments in __(your state here)__."

I'm in Oregon, so this is the link to Oregon's National Monuments:


Below are some links that can help you achieve the Citizenship in the Nation merit badge:

Citizenship: rights, duties, and obligations of a responsible and active American citizen.

This video dramatizes an explanation of the words democracy and republic. Follow along in a Boy Scout merit badge booklet, page 8.

This video discusses the difference between democracy and republic, pg. 8 of merit badge booklet

This video talks about the Magna Carta and English Parliament. You can follow along in your merit badge booklet pages 11-12.

This video talks about the five main parts of the Declaration of Independence. You can follow along in your merit badge booklet p.13.

School House Rock on Declaration Of Independence, kind of silly, but you'll always remember 1776 and Life Liberty and Happiness 2:57

 Celebrities actually reading the entire Declaration of Independence.

Preamble to the Constitution (be ready to talk about the six functions of government listed in the PreAmble)

For fun, and to hear the entire Preamble again, here is a video of Don Knotts as Barney Fife

The Constitution:

This video is a stickman explaining the background and parts of the Constitution. Follow along in your merit badge booklet, pages 13-15.

4000 of the 4500 words in the constitution focus on the balance of power between the three branches of government, so that is what this video focuses on.

Here's another approach, a RAP about the 3 branches of government.

Bill of Rights--this is a Catchy way to talk about the Bill of Rights. I'm going to print out the lyrics and hand it out so that the words sink in too.

Amendments to the Constitution

This video is a clip from the modern version of Born Yesterday with Melanie Griffith and John Goodman. I'm going to play it, and then ask which amendments they skipped (she doesn't  do them all), but it's cleverly done, to the tune of 12 Days of Christmas. 5:18

Additional Resources:



This is a supplemental video. I actually only liked the part where Actress Reese Witherspoon analyzes the Declaration, at 5:15, at least to use in the Citizenship in the Nation.

This video is an impassioned video about the signers of Declaration of Independence's personal sacrifice:

I hope these links were helpful. I'd love to hear from you and what resources have helped you teach merit badges in an interesting way!