Random crap aka 1st post in 2015

Here I am, updating my blog after 2 years.
Yes, it has been exactly 2 years as my last post was on 26th June 2013.

Blogging at Senai Airport while waiting for my flight back to KL.
Woke up at 4.30am today for this 1 day business trip.
And now I am imagining that I am some kind of very adventurous explorer or backpacker who is transiting in one of the airport and waiting to get on board to begin my journey again.
So I am blogging about my travel experience at the cafe before my next journey begins.
My imagination gone wild again. This is what happen when I am too sleepy to work and my mind goes wandering.

Thinking about the path not taken.
There is always choices that need to be made.
At the age of 25 and I am still stuck with my identity crisis.
Or shall I said emerging adulthood crisis identity.

I have been working for almost 2 years now - quite surprised that I am able to sustain the workload for so long.
Though I am still pretty much thoughtless I want to do but at least now I am clearer about things that I dislike. Routine work and admin work is definitely a big no-no for me, I will be bored to death.

Within these 2 years, I have aged rapidly, thanks to all those overtime work and late night sleeps. At the same time, I have become more independent and more fearless towards challenges and stress.
I never thought that I can travel alone around Malaysia by my own to get my job done and yet I have been doing that for the second time, I am honestly shocked by myself - when you have to get your work done, you will find your way to get it done, by hook or crook. Human being is indeed a highly adaptable creature towards changes.
I know that means I have become more and more like an adult (yeah I know I am an adult already though I always still feel like I was still student). And yes, the world is really complicated with different kinds of people. I have met quite a lot of people during this period of working life - I have seen many faces - the bad ones and also the good ones.
Everyone is wearing their own mask to live the day and so I am. Sometimes, when I look at the mirror, I feel strange that I am wearing formal after came home from work.
What am I doing? Is this what I want? And I do not know myself anymore.

I do not want to be a workaholic - maybe because I am not passionate about what I am doing now.
I cannot become a housewife - I am just too lazy to do housechores -  I rather work in the office
Hence my new ambition is to become a tai-tai whom only need to go for hi-tea, stay at home reading books, listening to music, travel around. Chances are I will get bored with this kind of life within 2 months, but there is a much higher chance that I will never get to have this kind of life...LOL
Well, it is rather good to get bored of being a tai-tai than being an overwork labour
(vanity overload XD).
Day dreaming again because I am just too sleepy.

Anyway, it always feel good to express my feeling via my crap.
Thanks for reading though I doubt anyone will read this super long post.

Miss travel bee gonna catch up with you soon :)


From crapping queen

dementia

I really cannot believe myself
how can I misplace such important thing and now! I have no idea where it goes
out of so many random certs, how can I lost my SPM cert
YYH!!! YOU ARE SERIOUSLY UNBELIEVABLE
there goes my first impression...terus down to the drain

and the most ridiculous thing is: I seriously have no memory where I put it.
OMGOMGOMOMG
It was suppose to lay there nicely in the file with the rest of the other certificates
where else can it goes
never hit jackpot! And now I hit this big dump of "shit"
thanks a lot for my own clumsiness and serious amnesia

Oh god! I need miracle...
please come back to me
I know you are there somewhere

thank you

time to update my blog again which I had abandoned for so long

thesis had finally came to an end
yup....one year baby finally born
sweats and tears....begging participants here and there and thanks for every single person who helps me out
never felt that third year students were so united before
the experience of 赶通宵 to complete assignment was awesome....though really tired (stamina definitely not as good as before ler....omg...I CAN SENSE AGING! this is so sad)
nonetheless, it was a great experience before I end my degree life

one more short semester and I will soon be stepping into the realistic working world
uncertainties and doubts filled my mind, I wonder who and what I will become
problems of emerging adults....I sure do have this!
I voted in the election....yes I am already eligible to do....another sign of legal adult
even though I have not yet step into the filthy complicated world, I can already get the first experience of it through this so-called transparent process.....what a great way of motivating me!
It is like a bang to the head..........a welcome toast of becoming an adult in this country

Emo feeling always so strong when I have to leave home and go back to KL again
but I am so bored rotting at home as well
I miss studying...something to do
I hope this semester passes slowly......
Oh boy! I am running away from my working life

Moving up the ladder of the stages of growth
Hmmm....things are not that fun when you are an adult
time to buckle up and move on
leave all the worries, useless thoughts behind
and walk straight ahead
here we go...the journey call life

finding back yyh

身体累，精神不累
Reminded me of this infamous slogan that we used to told by our seniors in 下乡团
Now busying with thesis 2 stuffs, seriously make me feel 身体累，精神更累
Participants, volunteers, literature review, stat test, discussion
I need to find 100 first year people....oh boy! where are you all?

seriously dislike myself now
I hate to feel so weak, so frustrated, so weak
so not in control of what is happening around me
so dependent on others people who may have huge effect on my thesis
I hate to being forced to mingle around (too old for that? hahaha)
& what I hate the most is the feeling that I cannot do it
I do not want to keep on indulged in self-pitying

The road ahead may be curvy and rocky
but that is what makes life worth living
I had been escaping from this fear for so long
I know I need to step out of it already
to become fearless & tackle all those problems
everyone has their very own problems, and I shall not whine for mine is just academical
I am much much luckier than many people
be grateful that you even encounter with all these obstacles
it will make you stronger
people always say God gives you hard times to make you a stronger person
I am a free thinker, do I believe that? I wonder

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone ~ anonymous
say bye bye to stupid fantasies & Lalaland
Is War time! wake up yyh
Fight for your life ^.^

escapism

Living in denial and trying so hard to escape from all those pressure
digging my head in the sand like a stupid, big-eyed ostrich
Feels like running away from the reality so much
screaming aloud by the beach
indulged with my stupid and illogical fantasies and dreams
weird, deviant, out of norm
why I always refuse to choose the normal roads
picked the weirdest choice and still indulged with it
I might regret but that is the road I pick
will crawl till I bleed even if I have to
I must reach the end

2013

happy new year to everyone
the digit of 2013 is still a very new number to me
2012 is now officially yesterday
it had been a busy and yet challenging year

I have no idea what new year resolution I should have
learn to become more fake? haha
what kind of resolution is that
according to my friend...it is impossible I can do that...LOL
Hoping that I can graduate successfully, praying hard for my thesis baby
it will definitely be a huge transition to become a working adult after graduate
oh boy, time pass too fast la
I am 23 this year
omg........I feel that this is so not real

渺小的人类

好久没来这发泄发泄了
短短一个月的时间，我究竟在忙什么呢？
考完试了，感觉上什么也没读到，我真的好懒耶
不过，我也学会了不少处人处事之道
要圆滑点，多体谅， 放轻松
说话之道还真是一门学问啊
想一想，每个合作过的人都有值得学习的地方
多看他人的优点，少批评，没有人是完美的
太过追求完美也是我的缺点之一
想一想，我的缺点还真多呢！
真是得努力修身也修心，还有增肥。。。。

我的生日没有什么大势庆祝，但感恩珍惜的朋友家人都还记得
与朋友们小小的聚会，还是让我感到很窝心
让我以感恩感激的心度过我的生日
是老了吗？想法也老派了点。。。哈哈
也该把手机给换了吧，现在这个已病入膏肓了

这个semester break把The Lord of The Ring trilogy 给追看了一遍
还是好喜欢哦，大爱 Merry & Pippin 哈哈
这个圣诞也见证了大自然的威力
水灾来临时，人类还真是渺小无奈啊
不管你的屋子是大或是小，是美是丑，是好是坏
水神都一一观顾
我不怨天也不怨地，只求你别把污水带来我家园
我这凡夫俗女有点洁癖
打扫了2间被水淹过的屋子
虽经验丰富，但也很累了

要迈入2013年了
世界末日没来到，我要做的事也一箩箩
发白日梦想完成的事也不少也
要23岁人了，天啊！
怎么好像一事无成呢？
是时候想想未来的路要如何走了
末日没来，烦恼依然随着岁月增长
人生
才是我们最大的考试
最终的分数要到死才知道
又有多少人是真的满意呢？
只求对得起良心
心安理得，对得起自己，对得起别人