Daniel turns four!

Oh my word, this boy is so much fun! He is a self-learner, fierce arguer, and a loyal family member. We are constantly laughing with him because he is hilarious. Here are some highlights of Daniel turning four:

- Absolutely loves preschool. Wishes he could go more times a week, and is just starting to write his letters and numbers.
- He sings cute bible songs from school ("My God is so big! So strong and so mighty! There's nothing my God cannot do!). It's my favorite.
- Favorite song to listen to would be "his songs" that I have reserved to use in a baby slideshow ... which I will get around to someday hopefully! Top of that list is "Mine to Love." He was convinced and would argue daily about its title, calling it "Mine-de-la"

- Obsession of trains and slowed a bit, but not before he could be Thomas for halloween last year.
- Loves playing with cars, especially character cars from the new Cars 3 movie. He got new underwear and the "Jacktson Storm" pair is his favorite.
- Incredibly observant and well-behaved when he is my errand-buddy and we run around town during the day. I adore this one on one time.

- Primary in church has thankfully become a favorite! He hated it in our old ward, for not particular reason, and it would be a fight every.single.Sunday. Literally our first Sunday in our new ward he walked right in and never looked back. Total confidence.
- He "sings from the heart" he says in primary, which is code for singing as loud as possible. In our primary program this fall the leaders mixed all the kids up in the seating arrangement, and he was put in the back next to two tall boys. (not sure what those leaders were thinking!) It was hilarious seeing him determined to not be overlooked because he was in the back - this boy belted it out like no one else.

- Kisses are always on both cheeks, with a new kiss on the hand in addition.
- Wants to sing the "make it a good day" song everyday going to school.
- Lover of all soft fabrics for clothes. And loves new clothes. Especially if we buy them online and then come in a package!
- Soooo grateful to be in underwear and for him to buckle himself in the car. It's the little things!
- Calls all his cousins his 'friends' and doesn't like the word cousins.

- Incredibly affectionate. Randomly says he loves me all day long, and always needs me to say it back to him with to 'too' at the end of my sentence. His latest phrase is "I love you and Dad the same." Thank goodness for that, because there have been some honest to goodness struggles!

- Loves to play with either sibling, and gets along so well with their friends whenever we have playdates. He is definitely loved by all of us!

- Loves boardgames. Sneaky Squirrel, Gobblet Gobblers, Chutes and Ladders, SnailRace, and a new favorite is Labyrinth. He always sets up a game entirely on his own and then comes asking for a play buddy.

- His balance bike has probably been the most used bike we've ever had. He wanted to ride it all year long, regardless of the weather. And just a couple weeks ago, Ryan put him on a pedal bike for the first time and he took so confidently to it! He was pedaling and riding all by himself after just the initial push! Now he's a pro at starting on his own, even though he has to pedal one stroke just to stand up to get on the seat. Such a natural. :)

- Loves talking on the phone to grandparents, or Daddy, or aunts. He sincerely does a good job at asking questions for the other person! 

-Plays fist-bump games with dad always turn into tickle fights. 

We love you Dano!!

day-to-day mothering

A few years ago, on my birthday, I itemized out my day-to-day mothering habits and routines. In essence, I wanted to be able to look back and remember the smaller moments that typically aren't captured in a photo. The one and only time I did that was way back in 2012 here, and it has now been five years. Quite a few things have changed, for better and for worse. I sincerely have been feeling less-of-a-mom for a while now, allowing the daily mistakes and repeated struggles get the better of me. Discouragement and frustration seem to be more of the norm lately, instead of the joyful optimistic mother I have pictured back then.  I tell myself that it's because I sincerely LOVE being a mom to young babies, and now that I don't have any I have lost that tenderness. But I am kind of tired with not being happy with myself and my current state of mothering. Yet even in my negative frame of mind right now, I know that I need to give myself some grace and recognize the good that is in our lives in this moment of time. Through this process I hope to gain some purpose in my days again, and recognize the eternal perspective of why this is the most significant job I could ever have. Here it goes!

- Logan (9) you are an intense kid and always have been. So full of passion and emotion, often too much for your body! But I find it so easy to look past the behavioral challenges and see your heart. I feel that I can see your beautiful intentions and desires, your longing to be good, and your passion for learning. On the surface it can seem quite different to people who don't know you. But I do. I know when your heart is in the right place, even if behaviors miss the mark a little bit. I can see the grand potential you have and it makes my heart burst with anticipation because I know you are going to make it big in whatever you choose to do.

- Lauren (7) you beg for ways to do things your own way. While you sincerely love your brothers and look to them often for friendship and answers, there is a fierce streak in you for independence and your own space. You have an incredibly sensitive heart, and for a long time I saw it as a character flaw. I feel that Heavenly Father has slowly been turning me around to see it as a huge strength if I can help guide and direct you in how to use that heart of yours. It's incredibly intimidating for me to mother a girl, because there are such complex challenges that start earlier than with boys. I am humbled because I'm honestly not very good at it. I need to carve out time for just me and you. You need to see me happy at my job, you need to know that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I can see that your heart yearns to be noticed, to be listened to, to spend time with.

- Daniel (3) you hold your own fiercely. You can easily play with either sibling well, and can be the follower but would rather share your opinion. You don't recognize that you are a little kid, and pretty much do everything the big kids are doing. My connection with you is pretty strong, you are all about physical touch so we hug and kiss and hold hands all the time. You are constantly taking my face in your hands and turning me toward you because what you have to say is more important than anything else. You say things like, "Mom, I love you really, really much!" and "Mom, I love you a lotter!" I feel like you are growing into yourself more and more, and I frequently get comments from other parents saying what a fabulous little personality you have and how great you are.

- Now that we are in our new house, you boys are sharing a room and Lauren has her own. I am trying to say prayers by rooms now, and enjoy saying the evening prayers with just me and Lauren. Gives us a tender moment together.

- Daniel doesn't like lip-kisses. So every time we hug and kiss (which is multiple times a day), it's a kiss on each cheek. And you make the cutest lip smacking noise too. I absolutely love it.

- One recent year we gave you kids a musical theater experience in Denver for your birthdays. Logan got to see Newsies, and we took you, Lauren, to see Beauty and the Beast. It was when you turned six, and weren't that familiar with the story line, so we filled you in as the story progressed as needed. Every so often I would catch you watching me just as much as the play - watching what my reaction was to see what your reaction should be. If I showed that it was a funny part and laughed, you did the same. If I played up the anticipation and excitement of the moment then you followed suit. If I showed sadness, fear, or any other emotion you copied it. I had this God-moment where I realized that this was my job. To help you navigate your emotions and understand life. I got scared-stiff and immediately prayed for help. It is a big responsibility and a tender learning experience for me.

- We use a peg-system in our home for chores and earning abilities. We've tweaked our system a few times and will continue to do so as our family needs change. Logan seems to grasp it really well and loves to complete the expectations put on him. Lauren loves to do it if it's a joint-effort and I am with her along the process. Daniel hasn't done anything yet, but for this school year I'm starting to create a chart for him to start working a tiny bit around the home. You kids can earn half your age in money each week if you do your jobs, or you can redeem your pegs for other rewards too (although money has been the most consistent motivator).

- Daniel is starting preschool this fall, and I am so sad about this I dragged my feet as long as I could. There's no other baby for me to take care of and I just feel lonely!! What will I do without my buddy?!

- We bought a new house this spring, and we are loving being home owners again. It's a bigger house than I expected, and I feel rather overwhelmed by it. I have become such a homebody since moving to CO, and often chose to stay home instead of going exploring. Sometimes I am content with this new me and other times wish I was more adventurous.

- We just moved wards, and I am proud of you kids for making new friends so easily, especially Lauren. Daniel is finally loving primary - he really hated it with a passion in our old ward!

- Logan, you say soccer is your favorite sport these days,  and you still play in the parks and rec league. You played baseball our first two summers out here, but say it's not really a favorite. I'm more sad about that than anyone else! Lauren, you have tried a few different things (volleyball, gymnastics, soccer) and haven't really found a passion. Although just the other day you said you wanted to do swimming again and get better at it. Looks like that will be your "hard thing" that you do this year!

- Daddy and I have been mountain biking and rock climbing more, and hope to make these family sports that we all can do together. Mtn biking is my favorite, and I love the feeling of improvement as I get better and faster (although fast for me is still pretty slow for Daddy!). Logan absolutely loves mtn biking, and Lauren loves rock climbing. Neither of you like the other very much. :)

- I was the YW President in our old ward and grew to love that calling so very much. Those girls are so special to me and I still love them dearly. I've been called to the Laurel Advisor in our new ward, and it's more challenging of a transition than I expected. My heart is still focused on the other girls! So I need God's help in expanding a little bit and making room for these new ones.

- Angela has been going through such awful cancer pains over the past three years. I have made the trip out there multiple times to help them with their kids as they travel for treatments and tests. The last time I took all you kids with me, and I was grateful for that time together. In excusing his absences from class, Logan's math teacher responded and reminded me that there are more important lessons in life than math lessons. I cried hard that day, because I had not been feeling like a good mom and was grateful for the tender mercy God gave me through her kind words. 

- Logan and I have been reading Harry Potter together over the past two years and we are just starting book six. We have used it as special one-on-one time, as therapeutic time, and simply fun time. You younger kids usually come to hang around us for a bit and then move on, but I love feeling that sense of gathering as I read to my kids. 

- I love reading the scriptures and finding ways to have God-moments during my days. A dear sweet friend from Charlotte taught me about "God-moments" and since then I have loved the idea and purpose of looking for God within my every day. Many times these God moments are when I can feel His love for you as I nurture and mother you. I am grateful for that!

- I try to keep our lives really simple, and sincerely want you kids to know what it feels like to be bored. I don't feel it is my job to entertain you all the time, so very often I tell you that I have plenty of jobs for you to do if you need my direction. Otherwise, go find something to do. :) I get that from my mom! 

   

- Reading is a big deal for me, and so far it is rubbing off on you just like I hoped for! Logan, you can literally read for hours all day long if given a book you love. Percy Jackson series have become a huge hit this past year, which has led you to becoming obsessed with Greek Mythology. Lauren, you are loving all the countless fairy books the library has, and I recently gave you all my old American Girl Book sets from when I was a little girl! Samantha is your favorite (she was mine too!!). You love listening to books on tape, and have enjoyed a few of the Boxcar Children series that way. Daniel, you may not be able to actually read yet, but you love to sit with your books at bedtime and flip through the pages just like your siblings. I have a feeling that once you learn to read these next two years you'll take off in a flash!

- Reading is still a big part of bedtime routine. You all get to read for an hour in bed before lights out at 8pm. Sometimes you trade it out for staying up late with cousins or doing a family thing, but most often those reading minutes are protected!

- We enrolled you two older kids in Let's Play Music classes when we first moved to CO, and I am so glad we did. Such a fun experience for them to play with rhythm and note reading! Daniel will start next year. One of my favorite memories of learning the note names was when we were learning them by bug names first, and the cartoon drawings of the bugs were not "anatomically correct" as Logan would argue. There would be tears every week about this, and one outburst had me laughing through my frustration about it all when Logan cried out, "But I don't like fiction!" Oh sweet boy, I am glad you have learned how to play pretend! :)

- Living close to family has been a huge blessing. We see Christensen cousins frequently, and surprisingly see Adamson cousins a lot as well! We've hosted big Thanksgiving gatherings twice for the Adamson family, even hosted Kendra's wedding, and are grateful that we are a perfect pit-stop for Adamson family going to and from Utah, Kansas, and Oklahoma. Visiting family even weighed heavily on our decision to pick our new house. We LOVE being a gathering place and hope it can continue! 

Motherhood - simply parenthood - is tough work. I have been blessed by strong women and mothers my whole life and appreciate their example. My heart is especially tender this fall for many reasons, and I am learning through God's patience how to make being a joyful mother a priority again. I love you kids, and am blessed to call you mine. 

snuggling a baby

I was postponing going to bed tonight, and unexpectedly D woke up crying. I waited for him to calm down, and eventually made my way upstairs to his bedroom. In the dark of the room I picked up my baby, who is trying so desperately to become a toddler, and I held him close. Immediately his crying stopped and he burrowed his head into my neck. We snuggled for a moment, rocking back and forth together. And my heart felt a burst of love for this precious little boy in our family. 

It never ceases to amaze me that in the past 10 months since he was born he has been a stabilizing force for good in my little corner of the world.  Our lives have been turned upside down in more ways than one since last October, and there were many days that were simply too much for me to bear. I would hold him, try my hardest to push the challenges from my mind, and only focus on the miracle that a new baby brings to the world. I have learned more about love, forgiveness, trust in a Heavenly Father, gratitude, and hope through his presence and the timing of him joining our family than I ever could have had he not been here. My words are a little rusty - it's been a while since I've written. Nevertheless, my life is forever changed for the good because of this sweet baby boy. And I am eternally grateful for the joy and love that I get to feel every day as a mother. 

Snuggling with a baby is oh-so good for the soul. 

birthday fun and mermaid party

My kids are obsessed with the "giant play place" as they call it. And thankfully it's rather close to our house so when Lady-LE requested it for her birthday celebrations we couldn't say no! 

 Lucky shot at the end of a slide run. I love this picture! 

 And Daddy even got to meet us there after a long day of work - hip hip hooray!! 

After watching me do L-man's party, Lady-LE has been requesting her own party for quite some time now! She is really such an easy-going girl when it comes to 'favorites' and honestly loves everything, so we settled on a mermaid/under-the-sea theme because it would lend itself easily to her preschool friends who were boys.

I made the invites and the food label/party printables all to match. Lady-LE loves purple!

So I think I need evaluate my method of madness for these kind of things. Planning the menu and all the cutesy names for the food that correlate with the theme, and making all the paper products and images through photoshop really all make me so happy. Like giddy sort of happy. (I've even done it for our neighbor friends' birthday parties too!)  And I could even post a picture of every food item on the table and give you it's cheesy nick-name. But maybe I shouldn't try to do this again when a) I'm pregnant, b) Ry is on night shifts, and c) I'm unforeseeably emotional due to reason a and lack of sleep. 

That being said, I love trying to have fun with the little details. Like the marshmallow-turned-octupus treats, the life-preserver donuts, the crab leg carrot sticks, the photos of Lady-LE all over, and the seaweed crepe paper, and even the stupid salt-dough star fish that I made a week in advance that we didn't end up using because they kept breaking and I was emotionally unstable about mishaps (see reasons a and c above). Sheesh I tell ya. I should know my limitations next time!

But even with those downsides, and with the on-and-off rain we had which kept the majority of people inside, I still loved it and am grateful we did it all. Lady-LE loved watching me make the designs on the computer and would always be so excited when I was "working on my birthday party!" as she would say. 

 We all ate lunch, and tried to play outside for a little bit before the weather made us go back in. 

 And while it would have been way more comfortable and cute to have stations of activities outside, we were still able to pull off the hand-print crabs inside and help me feel like my efforts weren't completely in vain. :)

 It was mostly Lady-LE's preschool group of friends with a few extra plus siblings. And I did have a package of ocean-theme play dough toys for the kids to play with as a back-up plan for the rain. So while it was a little chaotic, they all loved it. 

 Cheesy grin. This girl was SO happy the entire time she would only give me these spastic super-huge smiles. The anticipation of this party about killed her, and she loves crowds and friends so she was in heaven when the time finally came!

 Daddy bringing out the birthday cake! Those are little sand dollar candy molds ... although you can't really tell. 

 When the time came for singing and candles Lady-LE went crazy! Jumping up and down, yelling "I'm the birthday girl! I'm the birthday girl!" and just being so crazy happy! Holy moly she was making me laugh. 

 I love my family ...

 See? Same cheesy smile because everything was so exciting to her! She was literally bursting with happiness! 

She had already snuck one of these adorable fish cupcakes my neighbor helped me with, and was on her second when she was caught! :)

 Opening presents was super fun, loud, and exciting all over again for this little miss. 

Happy Birthday sweet Lady-LE! We sure love you!

lady-le turns three!

This sweet little gal turned three this past summer in July, and I need to do a little shout out for what she brings into our family. She is full of energy, and is just as much a strong personality as L-man is. I feel like at age three I am still getting to know her, and learning more and more about her personality as she gets older. She is a riot and a blessing all at the same time! Specific highlights include:

-she wears her heart on her sleeve. If she is sad, happy, shy, goofy, mad, frustrated, hurt, anything - she'll let you know. And it will be obvious. 

-while she can and will use a loud voice when needed, her most frequent volume of sound is still quiet. In a crowd of people you still need to ask her to repeat herself. But when she feels the need to be heard (specifically when her brother takes a toy or she feels she has been wronged in some way) she will be loud and it will come out quiet harshly.

-potty training has been a constant battle for months now! She totally gets it, but simply chooses not to pay attention. And especially with summer irregularity in schedule it has been rough. Struggle after struggle. She is completely capable, we just can't seem to find her motivation for independence. One thing will work for a few days, and then she'll stop caring. Then we repeat the accidents and frustration cycle all over again. I am really hoping that preschool and routines in the fall will help change this. 

-she loves to "be sneaky" and she'll put her fingers up by her face as she tells you what she's going to sneak. For example, I'll tell her no more snacks until dinner time. Her response will be to raise her fingers and twiddle them right next to her cheeks and eyes as she says, "I'm going to go sneak some goldfish!" 

-speaking of food, this girl loves to eat. all. the. time. not so much in the meal form, but she would munch and snack all day long if we let her. She's typically very open to trying new foods, especially if she can just have a bite of whatever I'm eating. And she definitely has a sweet-tooth. 

-favorite game is playing hide-and-go-seek. And she laughs ridiculously loud when we pretend not to see her. 

-favorite toys include anything Minnie Mouse related, doll-house type toys, my little ponies, and any kind of animal. She has willingly stepped into L-man's world of animals and loves to play with him. Although her play is more along the lines of gathering families together rather than battling and chasing prey. :)

-continues to have a super long attention span for reading books! Right now we are going through a Franklin and friends phase.

-I don't have a lot of comparison, but at least to me she seems to be purely gifted when it comes to puzzles. She seems to simply be a visual person who can see how the pieces fit together before I even need to guide her. She LOVES puzzles! 

-crazy excited for preschool this fall. Doesn't seem worried or nervous at all. She has loved watching L-man go to this preschool, and she already knows many of the teachers there so she feels very comfortable. And since I'm writing this in late August, we've already had our little open house at her school. She walked into the classroom with me, quickly glanced my direction and said, "Okay! I'll miss you Mom, goodbye!" and immediately went straight to the My Little Pony toys. Didn't even turn around.

-loves to pretend that Daddy's a monster, and begs him over and over to "tickle me again, Daddy!"

-is a fiercely loyal momma's girl though. This has been both a blessing and a curse, and we are constantly teaching her that mommy and daddy are a team and work together to help her. She often only wants me to help, comfort, hold, teach, and reprimand. But she is always super excited to tell Daddy good news!

-loves to ride her tricycle in the driveway with the big boys on their bikes

-swimming at the pool has definitely become a favorite this summer. She had her first round of swim lessons that started on her birthday. Sadly she cried for almost the entire half hour! But by the end of the two weeks she was a champ and loved them. After her lessons were over I finally pulled out one of those puddle jumper floaties I got on clearance last year and man alive she is a changed kid in the water. Blowing bubbles, getting her face wet, she is crazy for it! Super fun to watch her be so proud of herself.

-Lady-LE can switch from being the sweetest little girl to having the most attitude ever in a matter of seconds. We have some severe good and bad days around here, and sadly my patience is not what it usually is these days! Power struggles are quite normal, and she can be outright defiant of you all day long if she wants. Very strong willed! 

-absolutely LOVES her brother. They honestly play so well together and I am grateful for that! 

We love her dearly and can't imagine our lives without her! 

summertime memories

June and early July blend into each other in both moments and photos. We spent the mornings at the pool for swim lessons and playtime, ate a lunch there, came home for naps/quiet time, then spent the afternoons and evenings doing whatever we pleased. Some days were nice enough to play outside, other days were just too hot and we stayed inside. But it was a good summer!

 L-man has been really into playing baseball in the backyard this summer, and it is WAY more fun to play when Daddy's home. I guess he just creates more energy than I do, and L-man loves it. 

A neighbor came over to play with us one night, and it was so fun to have the kids run the bases made out of frisbees and to try to teach the basics of the game to a three-year-old. L-man has really good hand-eye coordination and really enjoys it most when we pitch it to him. Lady-LE just ran around and practiced throwing overhand (and looking cute in neighbor-friend's batting helmet). 

See? Daddy just makes everything more fun. :)

 At one point Ry had a few days off, and we were determined to actually make memories instead of just letting the hours pass by. In all reality, it's easy for us to just "hang out" and not make much of his time off because we're all just so tired. But Ryan was insistent that he wanted our family to not shy away from adventures because of a little rain, so away we went for a good family hike! 

The pictures do not do it justice. It's a decent sized hike for little kiddos, and almost immediately after we started the trail rain came pouring down. We were DRENCHED. Lady-LE refused to wear her raincoat after a while, because it was just so stinkin' hot and poor girl was sweating inside her plastic covering. But once we got to the top of the mountain where the wind was howling and the rain was coming in sideways and much colder we forced it back on her. 

 We've had gorgeous views off this mountain before - but this time we were hiking above the clouds. When we reached the top, and Ry and I are trying our hardest to make this whole experience seem really awesome to the kids, L-man yells his excitement about it all and says, "this is the coolest hike ever!" YES! Mission accomplished. :) We were all sorts of soaked-through, hot from the humidity, cold from the rain, and worn out from the countless steps; but we did it! We defied the elements and had a fantastic walk with our kids who actually believed that what we did was "cool." It was a good moment. :) 

 The city sponsors a kids-bowl-free deal during the summer ... which is great, until you have to pay for shoes and the adult games and then it still turns into an expensive family date. Oh well! We had a great time! :)

Ryan and I even got a date night and went to the city's minor-league baseball game. We eventually got rained out and they went through the process of covering the field and uncovering, and still getting rained on. But it was great and next time we'll definitely take the kiddos!

 Our neighborhood holds a 4th of July Kids' Parade, and we were sure to participate!

 The parade is led by a fire truck, and closed in the rear by a couple police cars. Super fun for kiddos!

 Nothing like homemade decorations! Happy birthday good ol' USA!

 The kids all get popsicles afterwards, which was again a major hit. It was super hot and super sunny!

We also got to hang our flag up for the first time! Hooray! 

After Ry went to work the kids and I went over to a good friends' house for a little bbq celebration. It is so fun to be with friends and enjoy the company of others! I snagged this picture from her blog. The food was amazing (as it seriously always is from this family!), and the kids loved running around with friends and playing with sparklers. It was a great holiday!