Happy Holidays

Did you see that? Whizzing by? Was that December? Good gooogly-mooogly! Even the mornings seem to scream by! Probably because of the constant deadlines I’m facing. As soon as I one is done, another one rears it’s ugly head. And those are just work deadlines! There are only 5 more days until Christmas! 

And then the new year… which means I’ve got to get deciding on what to sign the kids up for? More than one class at the Y? Is three too young for multiple classes? Or is it just right, given that it’s going to be raining for the next three months and the polish will soon wear off the new toys? I don’t want to over schedule, but I also don’t want to be dealing with a nutty boy because he hasn’t been able to work off his energy by jumping on the couch.

Post Holiday

I have to say that my 30 days to a relaxing holiday turned out pretty well. Sure, part of it was letting go of things that just weren’t going to be done (bathroom painting), but taking it all in stride and planning ahead did work! I even handled the previous weekend of barf like water off a ducks back.

We ended up with 17 people for dinner! I’m still a little shocked that I managed to get everyone in the house. True, there was no thematic center piece and the plates were paper, but do you really need all that fancy stuff for a family dinner? Not for my family! Besides, we had actual molded jello thingys. And since no one in my family can actually make these (we were all pretty impressed with bro.’s new gf), they were indeed fancy. I did go a tiny-tiny bit Mar+ha S+ewar+ on the turkey, making a honey-mustard-butter rub/greaser/flavor whatchmacallit for it. It was also in the gravy and got really good reviews for everyone. The beans were roasted and the potatoes were instant (hey! they are really good!) and we had a variety of sides from other family members. (Broccoli salad!)

Friday was not spent at the shops fighting the crowd (although I really tried to get someone to go with me… apparently the same crowd who doesn’t care about fancy table settings, also does not care about shopping bargains). Instead, I trimmed my willow tree and put up the holiday lights. For once, I had the time and it wasn’t raining (rarely do these things coincide)… plus I bought this little beauty. Hanging the lights went from a multi-hour exercise in fear, to 10 minutes with kids running around.

It’s not the greatest photo, but the kids were very excited to see everything come on. I think they enjoy the lights more than anything else… although Santa is making a pretty good showing in the Christmas chatter around the breakfast table.

Bring on Christmas!

Unprepared

This weekend, I had big plans...

 

Instead I got two sick kids, A LOT of Clorox wipes and work anxiety.

 

Sick kids I can handle for the most part. It was gross and prevented us from leaving our home for two days... but mostly it was OK.

 

The anxiety, however, was another story. I thought I forgot to do something at work. Something that was really important and I was sure it was the end of the world. When I go there, I really go there. I can go from paper cut to death in less that 30 seconds. My anxiety is something that I wish I could say that I don't talk about, but talking about it is really the only I can cope. So, not only was I stressed out, but I also kept posting stressed out messages on my facebook page... because I was stuck in my house with two sick kids and no adults to talk to.

 

Then I got to work and found out it was all for nothing. I could, literally (and I mean that word in it's true meaning, not just an intensifier) and physically feel the relief flowing threw me. I was giddy for about five minutes.

 

Now I'm just annoyed at myself for this lost weekend! I could have been doing so many other things instead of desperately attempting to rid myself of anxiety! Like buying a turkey! Which I haven't bought yet and have had research on how to thaw in the sink.

 

For a 16 to 20 pound turkey, I will need about 10 to 12 hours of bathing the frozen turkey in cold water. I'm not sure how I'm going to changing the water every 30 minutes over night, but then again, what will I complain about when I'm 80?

7 Days Left

I haven't bought a turkey yet?! I haven't purchased anything! Ack!

 

And I have like 10 people coming! I know! I'm shocked too! Not sure where everyone is going to eat, but they're family, so I'm guessing they can sit on the floor if they need to.

 

Methinks I have been doing a little too much relaxing into the holidays... I've got nothing prepared and my house is verging on disaster-ish. Haven't written a paper I need for tomorrow and I still have a huge pile of papers to grade.

 

Stressed out? Yah, me too. So I spent the afternoon relearning the Santa Lucia song so I can teach it to Lala in time for Santa Lucia day and learning how to create a Santa Lucia crown and stjärngossar hats for the kids. Might as well as enjoy myself in the craziness.

 

It's supposed to snow in the next few days, but it cold today! Must purchase new mittens for kids and myself... and maybe some furry boots? Brrr!

Procrastination

This year, I’m attempting to obtain a national board certification in teaching. It’s a lot of writing, planning and thinking. I have a meeting to go over my progress this Thursday… and I’m currently procrastinating by watching the rain and thinking about all the things I “need” to do to the bathroom before Thanksgiving. And to add a little more pressure to myself, I won’t be able to attend the meeting for December as it coincides with Lala’s holiday school concert. (At a real theater!!! Not a school gym, like the old days… oh no.)  Did I mention that I’m performing tonight? Part of the foodball action – I’m singing the Elmo song. It’s becoming my tradition to sing some off the wall Adam Sandler song. I just wish he had a bigger repertoire of school appropriate ones.

In the meantime, I noticed that a few people were showing up via a comment on another website. In honor of that, I direct to some of the books I read before becoming a foster parent…

Really, this became a go to book for information, when things seemed confusing. And believe me, there is a lot of confuse you. It's not insurmountable, but you will have some days that just cause you scratch your head in wonder.

This is more of an inspiring story type book. Really, you need to have those inspiring stories to refresh your soul.

Not going to lie, some of things in this book scared the crap out of me. Personally, I think that's a good thing. Parenting is not for the faint of heart and adoption even less so... forewarned is forearmed. Seriously, if only buy one, this is it.

Veteran’s Day

Despite my long to-do list, I couldn’t let today go by without saying “Thank You!” to all those who have served and are currently serving our country. It’s not an easy path to trod, and I’m sure at times it doesn’t seem worth it, but I appreciate it more than I can express.

Another Drop in the Bucket

 

Despite having fewer donations to auction off than in past years and everyone tightening their belts, our Dessert Auction manage to make over $1600.00! That translates into 1600 pounds of food donated to our local food banks!

As with any event, things went wrong, but for the most part it was fun, organized and no one’s item got lost or “won” something they hadn’t bid on (it happens… never scratch your forehead during a charity auction!).

Adoption Day

Today is our Adoption Anniversary Day! Okay… I completely forgot about it because the dessert auction was scheduled this evening and there are so many things to remember to do, that I literally cannot find the words I need to speak and be understood. I said to someone at the auction, “you know that thing…. where people throw balls… in the big area with the wood floor”? After about 15 seconds, the person replied… “you mean the dodge ball game?” Yah.. can’t talk.

Needless to say, when the florist delivered flowers with a big smile and “Congratulations!”, it took a few minutes for me to remember what they would be for!

 

Look at that smile! Despite the rain, mud and rotting pumpkins (it’s really, really wet!), we had an awesome afternoon finding pumpkins! And without adoption, it wouldn’t have been possible.

In honor of our anniversary, I’d like to put a plug in for foster care/adoption. I know we all look at the numbers flashed on news programs about the number of children available for adoption and think “how sad”, but the reality behind the 30 second news story is that those are real children. And another 250,000 will enter foster care in the coming year. There are many reasons why people won’t adopt from foster care, I’ve said them all too! It’s not an easy path to walk… then again, neither is parenthood. Whether you adopt or have biological children, those durned kids don’t always do what you want them to, they don’t always follow the path you hoped and the perfect family photo is a one second snap in the years of time. Ask anyone with adult children for the real story.

In my experience, there is much more support and help for foster parents and foster care adoption, than with private or international adoption. Yes, there are caseworkers who are slow de or dishonest, etc. but that hasn’t been my, albeit limited, total experience. If you’ve ever even had an inkling of an idea to become a foster parent or to adopt from foster care, please go out and attend one informational meeting. I swear they won’t act like used car salesmen and try to talk you into something you aren’t prepared for. Just one step.

Christmas Giveaway

You may have noticed the new banner – or if you’re reading via a reader, you may want to click over… because 5 Minutes for Mom is hosting their annual Christmas Giveaways! 30 days of gifts to try for!

Last year, I won a spanking new dumptruck for the Cuddler and one of those Razor scooter things, which was passed on to another family. Two less gifts to buy, one less trip to the toy store, more time to make cookies! How can you beat that?

The rules have slightly changed this year, giving everyone only one entry for each prize – rather than multiple entries for things like following them on Twitter. Will that improve your chances? Well, you definitely won’t win if you don’t enter, so head over now!

What I’m Thankful For

If there is one thing that teaching has taught me, it’s that there is a lot more to people that we never ever see. In today’s world, I am thankful that despite any annoyances (orange juice on the mattress) caused by my children, I have them in life. I’m thankful that I have a job that keeps us fed, warm and allows us to see the doctor whenever we want. I can buy the things we need and many of the things we want. I didn’t feel panic when the Cuddler grew three sizes over night, I just went out and bought new clothes. For many people, it’s not that easy.

Over the next ten days, I will be immersed in a school-wide effort to fill the shelves of the local food pantries. When I say school-wide, I really mean community-wide. This annual event is HUGE! Last year’s total was over 500,000 lbs of food donated to the regional food pantry distributor. And that was just our half… this is a competition between two neighboring towns to see who can raise the most – the other town also raised over 500,000lbs! Why Oprah never covered this, I cannot imagine.

For me, this means endless fundraisers to supervisor, bags of food to donate and trying to figure out how much I can really spend and how much wiggle room I have (because I always over spend the budget!). It also means a lot fun! Every night, we’ll head out to a local restaurant for dinner served by our students as they “take over” for the night (all profits are donated), so no cooking! Woot! Next Tuesday, I’ll be immersed in desserts as the the club I advise hosts it’s annual Dessert Auction. Fudge has been promised! And I’ve already received some great things to auction off, plus I know I’ll be heading out tomorrow afternoon to gather more supplies to be able to have more… because I’m OCD like that. When you depend on teenagers, God love ‘em, not everything goes according to plan.

Next Saturday I’ll also be on stage. Singing. Not that I have a great singing voice, but I do pretty good with Adam Sandler songs… I’m debating a re-rendition of “Red-Hooded Sweatshirt” or the Elmo song. Or the Turkey song with adjusted lyrics… depends on what I find on my shopping spree. Ooooo! I just had a inspiration. I may have to get someone to video this one.

In end, all the stress, disruption and activity is a food a good cause. Because there is always more to people than what you see… and I know that many who are out gathering donations today will be getting them back in their weekly food bank trip.

19 days left

If you are a blog follower or any kind, you know I am not the only person counting down 'til the holidays. In my reader, the posts regarding planning and the holidays are coming up faster than I can read! I really recommend heading over to The Lettered Cottage for some inspiration. Decoration ideas are already bouncing around in my skull as I write.

 

So far, I've mostly been inspired to create new lists! Lists of things I need to do, things I want to do and, of course, the big list of gifts. When I started typing the list out (because I'm all about spreadsheets these days), I found myself in the age old quandary… how much to buy? And what to buy? Educational toys? Clothing? A big family gift?  Budgetary issues aside, the how much is too little? or too much? has always been a question for me. The media would have you believing that a tree buried under presents is the norm, but it doesn't seem like that much fun for my kids. They get tired of unwrapping after about three presents and really just want to play with the new toys or try on the new clothes. (ok, that would be Lala who wants to try on new clothes… the cuddler could care less.)

 

One of my co-workers had an idea that I thought was pretty good. Her brother-in-law does this every Christmas and everyone is happy. Each kid gets five presents along the following lines:

    something to wear

    something to create with

    something to watch

    something to play with

    something to read

 

Good idea, no? Not too many presents, but with the addition of all the usual holiday events, foods and family members to play with, there will still be tons to do! I started purchasing stuff for the kids back in August when school supplies were on sale, so now my list of shopping is pretty small. My budget loves that!

 

20 Days til Thanksgiving

This is the time of year that things start to go a little haywire. There is so much to do and so much organization that must go in to keeping all the balls in the air.

 

I've invited family over for Thanksgiving dinner and so it's time to start planning out the menu. Last year, I went pretty tradition with the meal. To be honest, it was a bit too heavy.  This year I'm thinking of going a little lighter - perhaps more vegetable dishes without a sauce. I bought the latest issue of the Food Channel magazine, so maybe I'll find some more ideas there.

 

What are you planning on making for Thanksgiving dinner?

Family Day

November is National Adoption Month! Find daily activities to help celebrate!

 

 

 

A week from today we will be celebrating the anniversary of our family - or rather, the legalization of our family. I like to think of it as "haircut day", because I could finally get my children's hair cut without having to call a social worker to get permission. I'm not sure what Lala and the Cuddler think of it... right now, they're still a bit young to fully understand.

 

As we go into the holiday season (fresh off of our holiday family photo shoot), it is definitely one of the things I'm thankful for. Perhaps we should make some Thanksgiving decorations and talk about our family day? Turkey day is only 23 more days away!

 

 

24 days left

Sunday we made a quick run to the mall to return some pants and $150/three hours later we emerged with this -

I read a blog post from somewhere last year about a mom who bought new ornaments for their children every year showing something they were really into that year and thought it was really, really cute idea. Each one picked out their own ornament - since there was one of a child throwing a fit or sitting on a potty (our two big things this year!)

I also bought one family one for this year with the date - my stepmom does this and I like that tradition as well... it's kinda cool to go through the tree and find the one from 1976 and see how holiday fashion has changed over the years. Rounding out our little oranment spree was one I picked out to celebrate our adoption finalization last year:

I never found an ornament I liked last year and never made it to Hallmark, so a year late, but done, none the less.

I also picked up a couple of articles for clothing for both children and scored a new pair of pants for me. They really were bargains, despite the outflow of cash. And now, I won't have to go to the mall for the rest of the holiday season!

Linen Closet

As promised… my organized and clutter-free linen closet. Minus about 20 pillow cases. I swear they were multiplying in the dark!

 

26 Days Left

Do you buy the school pictures? This is the first year for us… or rather the first for me to pay for them. Working in a school, I get a small package for free – because every adult not in the entertainment business needs 10 2x3 headshots – and I usually just toss them upon receipt.


Lala’s school is offering them and although I’m not thrilled with how they turned out, many others have said they are VERY cute and I must order something to preserve the moment. World’s biggest scam, I swear. Even if every parent only orders the cheapest option, at $15 per student (200 x 15), that’s $3000 for two hours of work. Multiply by that all the schools in the area… major cash. The photos are produced by machine, so it’s not even really creating actual jobs for people! By the way, that $15 is for ONE 8x10. The photo packages (complete six billion wallet size – really? Who needs more than two?) start at $50. And if you have more than one kid in school? Major expense! I am soooo in the wrong business…

As I write this $30 poorer (I had to buy some for Lala’s bio family and they were pretty cute in a crappy school picture sort of way), I am mentally preparing for our first professional family photo shoot. It’s outside… and currently it’s raining outside. The weather report for tomorrow says ‘mostly sunny’. I am excited about getting professional photos of me and the kids. First, because I’m taking the photos all the time, I’m never in them. Second, the cuddler is an expert at the quick head turn. (I have a million photos of his profile.) We’re going to wear matchy outfits, because that is the way I roll. Rest assured, NY friends, we won’t be wearing any shits with holiday décor and no sweaters with reindeer will be allowed. Red shirts/sweaters (OMG! Is the cuddler cute in this outfit!) and some sort of appropriate pants.

Not only a first for our family, but also xmas card material done in time to get the cards by Thanksgiving weekend. Yippee!

Day 27 - Holiday Relaxation

Think she'll look this happy after a flu shot?

To tell the truth, I was never really big on the whole flu shot thing. It seemed like every time I got one, I was sick more often than the years I didn't get one. This thinking went out the window with the addition of kids. Single parenting is all about being honest with your limitations.

When I'm really sick, all I want to do is sleep it off. And I'm not very polite about that request, either. Now add two small children with no adult supervision while I'm sleeping. Disaster in the waiting? Why wait! It'll happen almost instantaneously. I can't afford to be sick! Or rather, my furniture can't afford for me to be sick. Nor can I afford to have children who are sick for weeks... really I can't even imagine the horror. (I know it's coming soon at some point, just not this year, please?)

To ensure a healthy holiday full of people in a good mood (and not grossed out), we're all getting flu shots today. Link to Flu Shot information

Day 28

We started the chore charts yesterday… they were a big hit until I wouldn’t:

1. let them check off boxes indiscriminately 
2. let them use the dry-erase marker any more after both had wiped out checks received for making their beds four times.

 Obviously, it’s a work in progress. Perhaps after if becomes a habit to mark things off, we can move on to getting rewarded for filling up the paper. Right now, neither child is able to comprehend “working” and “waiting” for a prize. I have my hands full trying to keep them convinced that just because it’s dark outside, that doesn’t mean we need to go trick-or-treating right now.

Today, I’m cleaning out the linen closet. There was a lot of storage space when I first moved into my house. Now, two children later, I have none! And saving those sheets for a mattress size I no longer own seems a bit silly. Also, the placemats I’m never going to use (styled from 1982)… they need to go as well.

I’ll try to post a photo later. The darned ipad just won’t let me work my blogging magic!

Countdown to a Relaxed Holiday: Day 29 Mess Makers

Do your kids do chores? When did they start? And how did you start them off?

This is an area where I’m lacking in parenting skill. I’ve gotten the point where I’m starting to not buy my children any toys that have parts because I’m so sick of picking them up all the time! And I don’t want to be a parent who just tosses everything into the garbage – which apparently my own parents did… my father recently admitted this to me, when I remarked that my own toys always seem to have parts that disappeared, while my children’s small toys ended up buried in the couch.

For the life of me, I cannot motivate my children to pick up their toys. Make a bed? Sure! Put away silverware! They fight over that little chore. Put a toy back into it’s bin or shelf? Not for a million dollars. Or chocolate candy. I’d post a photo of my daughter’s room, but it’s so embarrassing that I just can’t bring myself to admit that it looks like the disaster that it is. I know that I need to tackle it, but the thought that I will have nearly the same level of mess in less than 4 hours makes me want to cry.

And, I am becoming obsessed with the thought of all the holiday toys coming into the house. How many parts will all those toys have? How do I keep them together? How do I get my children to pick them up without me nagging, screaming, crying? Should I just give up and only allow stuffed animals and naked dolls into the house?

Today, the kids are getting their own routine chore charts. We’ve got to start somewhere!

I found printable charts with current cartoon characters here.

30 Days to a Relaxed Holiday

Everyone seems to be on one of those 30 day kicks... 30 days to some sort of perfection. And it works. 30+ days is what researchers say is needed to create a new habit. Who am I to disagree with woefully underpaid researchers desperate to become PhD's? (because who else would take the time research this?) So I'm creating one for myself. Feel free to join or not.

I am one those holiday people. The kind that gleefully looks forward to holiday newsletters, actually eats fruit cake and has an extensive collection of holiday music. Most of my shopping is already done.  It is, however, because of this that the holiday tends to sneak up on me. I think I have everything planned… and then WHAM! it’s the holiday season and I have no time to complete any of my grand plans.

Starting today, I’m working towards having a relaxing and festive Thanksgiving dinner. It’s exactly 30 days away - a strange coincidence? Divine inspiration? Opportunity knocking?

First and foremost is getting some type household management routine. It is laughable the number of times I have forgotten an important appointment or some item the kids need (like diapers!) because I’m rushing to squeeze everything in. It’s also laughable the amount of time I waste doing things that are relaxing, but basically non-productive. Last I week I made a list of things I need to do on a daily basis to keep us moving forward in an orderly fashion. It’s quite a list, let me tell you. At the same time, it’s really not… if you listed out all the things you do during a day, it would be extensive – this list is more of “don’t forget” type of thing. Because it’s always that thing you forget to do that starts the cascade into chaos.

Saturday Breakfast

This morning we had the best fall breakfast! Pancakes and homemade apple sauce.

Homemade apple sauce is probably the easiest fall treat there is... Peel apples, slice and put in pot with a bit of water. Heat and cook until soft. Drain water (because measuring the water amount is for Mom's with a helper at home) and mash with whatever is handy. A fork will work, but I find that the barely used pastry blender works fabulous! Add cinnamon.

No preservatives, no added sugar (for apples?!? Does anyone need that much sugar?) and it makes the house smell fabulous!



- Posted using my iPad

Butt Kicking

I'm getting my butt kicked this school year... My to-do list is never ending at work and time seems to be just flying by!  Add in all the new things from home (uniforms! teacher conferences! potty-training!) and work (committee meetings! National Boards!), equals hanging on by the seat of my pants.

For what ever reason, I no longer have any routines - this may be part of the problem. I've lost my flow.

I took a break from grading during class (and that means I'll be catching up next week.. yipee!) to start to create a routine for home. Maybe if I can get some sort of port in the storm, I won't be so crazed all the time. Doesn't having your home be a haven just make dealing with all the craziness that much easier? Right now, I have a moutian of laundry to do, a child who has removed every single play thing/book from every drawer, bin or shelf and left on the floor, a sink full of dishes and darkened living room that is definitely not cozy.

How do you tackle the busy times? Lists? Schedule? Work til your done and hope it lasts?

Conversation

Lala has recently discovered story-telling. To say they’re fanciful, is an understatement. Last night, she told me a story about her, as a grown-up, taking care of me, when I was a baby. Apparently, we went to flew chickens and ran into a dinosaur, who tried to eat me. Luckily, Lala had a bottle of ketchup, which she used to squirt the dinosaur in the face. It changed him into a square pumpkin.

Even the cuddler has a hard time following, but they very imaginative.

Our Week

Something learned this week… it is totally worth it to pay someone to play with the kids for a Saturday afternoon so I can get work done. You know, should I choose to do work during that time instead of reading blogs, shopping and following the whole PR debacle over TheBloggess. Also discovered I should move to the Midwest as this is where “all the jobs are while pursuing the news. Who knew? (so out of the news cycle… I didn’t even know there was an 8 hour police stand off 5 blocks from my house!!!)

Last week was Lala’s first school concert. I survived, but video taped it.  And promptly sent it to friends and family. I know they abso loved it. Or at least, they had better lie enthusiastically and tell me they did. You know who you are.

The cuddler’s developmental evaluation went OK. He’s pretty good on the gross motor skills, but his language was at the bottom of the “normal” area. We may be back at the of the school year for a new evaluation to see if he’s languishing. From now on, I must make a concerted effort to speak clearly and not think his weird pronunciations or phrasing is cute. But they are! Also, must refrain from swearing in front of the cuddler, because those words he picks right up and are clearly pronounced. Durn-it!

Enjoying Freedom

The first thing we did after Lala was declared free of swallowing issues…

 

and it never tasted so good!

90 Second Update

It’s been awhile… but with Go*gle and Fac*b*ok changing their formats I’ve been all sorts of discombobulated.

• Lala started pre-school, which she loves. This brings a whole new level of organization I need to achieve every day. Uniforms, paperwork, supplies, fundraising. Providing snacks brings a whole new level to preparation on my part as the school hours are almost exactly my working hours.
• The cuddler is not potty trained. Nor does he seem to be in any hurry to latch on this idea. As such, I’m basically giving up until, I dunno…, he’s 5? Obviously, he’s not going to be forced, cajoled, bribed or loved into doing it, so screw it. It’s not like he’s in high school or something equally shaming.
• I finally got my tax refund!!! And then I paid bills and put the rest into savings. I know! I am that exciting! Actually, I just don’t have time to shop for anything I really want and I don’t really need anything.
• I’m doing National Boards for teaching, as well as everything else at work. This is the the biggest reason I haven’t been online much. I just don’t have time for and keep up with the laundry.
• Sooooo not keeping up with the laundry.
• Not only did I mow the lawn yesterday, while the kids were awake and in the yard, but I actually fertilized in preparation for winter. Before the rain started people! Before!!!!! (In the next few weeks it will start raining here. It won’t stop until sometime around the end of April.) This means that I might actually have a chance that I won’t have a two foot high lawn when it finally dries out enough to mow again. Yay me!
• Lala’s dysphagia has officially been deemed mostly cured. We had, what I hope will be, our last swallow evaluation last week. While there was a slight issue, for the most part, they said to drink normally and watch for infections.
• This week the cuddler has a developmental evaluation with our local school district. His speech isn’t as clear as it should be… maybe. I’m probably not a good judge, and he usually speaks so low to strangers that it’s hard for him to be evaluated by his regular doctor. I’m hoping they’ll be able to get more out of him in a 40 minute evaluation and he’ll be deemed not eligible because he’s not really showing a problem and it’s just shyness or something. On the other hand, if he is eligible for services, he’ll be thrilled because it means he’ll go to “big boy school.” To say that he is jealous of his sister going to “big girl school” is like saying the Pacific is a bit wet.
• Lala got to visit with her oldest bio sister in August. It made them both pretty happy.
• After two years of living in the same small region, we finally “ran into” the cuddler’s bio mom at the grocery store. Actually, I’m surprised it didn’t happen earlier. It’s just not that big of an area. His bio mom has always been very appropriate whenever we’ve seen each other and this time was no different. It did make for a very confusing conversation afterwards. Both kids are still too young to really understand who everyone really is and what role they had in their lives… or what role they now have. Lala does not understand why the cuddler’s BM  isn’t her BM, etc. and I’m really at a loss as to how to explain in a way that gives them some understanding. Ideas?

60 second update

• The cuddler is finally into potty training! Apparently, I just needed to bribe him with candy. We’re starting slow, but he is learning.
• Lily is graduating out of her swim class at the end of the week into a more advanced one!
• Received yet another letter from the IRS telling that they will need another month to review the four pages of documents for my refund. Was really hoping to get if before I filed for 2011 taxes, but that doesn’t seem likely.
• Summer is going by way too fast for my liking and I haven’t accomplished as much as I hoped I would by now.
• I have read about 30 books. (I read fast) Thus explaining why I haven’t accomplished much so far.
• My back yard looks like a wild meadow. I really need to mow today while the sun is still shining.
• Although time is moving quickly, the weather has not really been that summer like. It’s getting to the point where I’m glad I didn’t waste money on summer clothes for myself.

New Car

If the IRS ever decides to pay my tax refund… or officially denies me, I’ll be purchasing a car. I’d buy one now, but I could get a much better deal with that wad of cash and why not wait? After all, the IRS keeps stringing me along with 30 day promises. It would be so nice if I could do that with some of my bills. Just string them along indefinitely, with no penalty.

In the meantime, I’ve been window shopping for the past six months.

What do you drive? The ever-popular mom van? Lots of room, but limited gas mileage? An SUV? Safe, tough, cool mom type?

Netflix, kids and movies

I’m sure you’ve heard about the Netflix price jump.. even if you aren’t a subscriber. People are more upset about this than the economic woes of our government or dumbing down of our education system (even more!). Shocking, I know.

It makes me wonder exactly how much TV people are actually watching, examining how much we are… and is it time to cut back? I’ll admit it. TV is some times the only thing that saves my sanity. Then again, it doesn’t. My son’s current obsession with Dora means there is a lot more whining to watch Dora at all times  of the day, thus almost forcing me to buy Dora movies. Or maintain a streaming movie membership.

How much TV do you let your kids watch? None? A couple of hours? Not sure, because there is a TV in every room, including their bedrooms?

When I was a nanny, (seriously, I was just like Jo Frost. So good! And so bad with my own!) the kids I cared for watch a maximum of two hours – and NO video games during the week. As pre-teens, people. I was that good. Now, not so much. Am I the only one?

Summertime, and the living is easy.

We survived our first vacation of the summer. Of course, the first night had me declaring that we would never leave home again. Both kids were just too keyed up to go to sleep, even though they were really, really ‘I’ve-lost-my-mind-and-can-no-longer-function” tired. As was I. For the rest of the trip, my goal was to ensure that they were so tired by bedtime that they just might go to sleep at a normal time. It must have worked, because they not only fell asleep at a decent time, but did so while sleeping in the same bed!

Now we’re back the usual schedule of eat, swim, eat, nap, eat, swim, eat. With some bike riding thrown in.

Lala finally did figure it out. Now, every time someone rides by on a bike, she points out that the rider is “moving their feet up and down, just like me!” She is incredibly proud of her herself for figuring out how to make the bike move. I’m sure that steering will come along soon too! At least, hopefully, before a major injuries occur. A major plus living on a flood plain is that everything is relatively flat…because steering and braking may be a problem.

The Cuddler turned three yesterday. Although I still call him my baby, he’s not. Fully into the “I do it!” stage, he’s becoming quite independent. So far, it’s displayed in his refusal to do anything. No go on the big potty! No pick up toys! No watch Elmo! No! He’s also developed an obsession with Dora. I don’t know it it’s the interactivity of the show or what, but somehow it totally sucks him in. I’m drawing the line at buying him Dora clothes, though. The high heel shoes are plenty.

Wordless Wednesday

Riding a bike

What age is best for riding a bike? It seems like kids are getting them younger and younger these days – and they’re made smaller and smaller.

I mentioned before that the cuddler was receiving a bike for his birthday. My mother purchased one for Lala last week and so I gave the kids the bikes yesterday. I figured that they would be able to get more use out them if they had them at the beginning of summer, and we could avoid the whole ‘birthday present jealousy’ thing. Also, I apparently have patience issues.

While both were excited to see the bikes, that wore off pretty soon. Apparently watching others ride a bike is not as easy as riding it yourself. Learning how to ride a bike is not as easy as “riding a bike”, apparently.

Any tips on teaching them? Both have training wheels so balance isn’t an issue… just getting the concept of pushing the pedals forward to move the bike forward. Maybe they’re just too young? I don’t think I got a bike until I was in grade school, which is when most of my friends seemed to get them as well.

Fourth Of July

Lala and the cuddler are still trying to understand the concept of “birthday party for America”, but they do know something is up since Grandma is still visiting (instead of heading home for work on Monday) and every five minutes there’s another loud firecracker bang!

We’ll be enjoying fresh stawberries, treats galore and hopefully some time in the pool before ending the day with fireworks.  Not too many fireworks… “we” don’t like the loud bangs and find the noises pretty scary.  Sparklers it is!

Happy 4th!

Family Garden

The best thing about summer? Besides popsicles, watermelon, swimming in the lake and BBQ? Produce from the garden!

Two of the easiest things to grow are lettuce and zucchini. And let’s be honest… you don’t even need to grow your own zucchini. Just make friends with someone who does and you’ll be set *wink*

To grow lettuce you don’t even need a yard. Just a big pot. Personally, I’m a bit lazy, so I buy my plants (starts) at the local famer’s market and then plant in the pot. Lettuce is a “cool” weather plant, so it’s not a huge fan of heat. It likes a lot of water, as well. Around here, where it’s not EVER that hot and rains enough that I barely own a sprinkler. (and no AC, so not worth the expense. It would get used about two days a year), I can grow lettuce all summer long. When we want a salad, I just go out and pick a few leaves. That’s it. Totally easy. No running to the store. No going bad in the crisper.

Even if your area isn’t quite so temperate, I think that planting in an area that gets a bit of shade during the day and watering on a regular basis, you could grow it for awhile during the summer. And trust me, you will cry when you have to go back to store-bought.

Stay At Home Mom

Now that the school year is finally over, and I finished up with everything else, I’ve been acclimating myself to the life of a stay-at-home mom. Three meals a day, driving to and fro… it’s been pretty fun actually.

What are we doing?

• swimming lessons
• dance class (a shocking bargain at the local Y)
• playing in the yard
• more Dentist appointments – yay!
• visiting friends

Lala has also had some swallow therapy appointments. The therapist seems to think that her swallowing issues might be linked to weak tongue muscle development. Which may be linked to to the torticollis Lala experienced as an infant. At least, she seemed to react like it was very important when I told her about. At this point, I’m willing to go along with anything to help her.

I have to brag about my major bargain steal. The cuddler’s birthday is just a few days away. A few weeks ago, I found a practically new Spiderman bike for him at a garage sale for $8!! Brand new the bike retails for about $70 and I got it for $8. There was a lot of happy squeals as my car drove away. I’m now on the search for Lala’s bike, which may be delivered by the birthday fairy on the same day. I know I’m totally caving, but the amount of screaming and whining when the cuddler has a bike and Lala doesn’t, is more than I can even think about handling.

The End and the Beginning

All the students have left. My grades have been turned in, the chairs stacked and the pile of garbage is growing. FWIW, if you are looking for cheap school supplies and don't mind a bit of distress, have your kids ask their teachers to save them stuff when cleaning out their rooms. I gave about a dozen quarter used notebooks to the counseling office for next year, and I found all the lost pens (or at least half of them). I still have to return next week for my "presentation of data", but with out students, it's pretty relaxed.

Earlier this year, I told my students that if they raised over $1000 for the cancer relay, I would dye my hair pink. I should have remembered that $1000 is nothing for this community. We may be poverty stricken, but they are generous to a fault.


- Posted using my iPad

Wordless Wednesday

Car Trips

Do you do long car trips with your kids?

My immediate family lives about 7 hours away. Seven hours of adult driving – it’s about 8 or 9 driving with kids. It’s a very long day to say the least.

I’ve tried multiple ways of making it a fun trip for everyone. And let me just say… the driving is not going to be the fun part of the trip. It’s just not, so accept and move on. There are a couple of ways to make a little less painful:

• More than one adult (or teen). Wow! This alone makes the biggest difference. Everything is easier. I know this sounds basic, but for the single moms out there, it is worth paying for someone else to come along. If, you know, you can’t rope someone into coming along for free.
• Non-sugary snacks and drinks. You’re already trapped in the car with a two year old… adding sugar is just scary.
• DVD player – with movies they haven’t seen before. Sadly, the old standbys won’t prevent sibling slap fights, no matter how beloved.
• A map of city parks. Just accept that you will have to stop for an exercise break at least twice (if not more)… and do you really want your child running around a rest stop? I swear the Cuddler heads straight for the freeway every single time. Small town city park is much safer and has play ground equipment.
• Map of the long route. Interstate highways are faster, but more boring. And expensive. Take the local highways instead. Easier access to parks, restaurants that have picnic areas (not a drive through), cheaper gas and much more interesting sights. One of these days we’re going to dig for dinosaurs while heading to our summer camp. Can’t do that while driving along the interstate and you save no time.
• Wipes – for kids and your car

Last, don’t have a time table. Don’t try to beat your time or make plans at a certain time. Doing the car trip with little kids and a time table is just a recipe for screaming frustration. To paraphrase Sally, Don’t drive to get to a good time, drive to have a good time.

Beginning our summer – Free association

I may have mentioned in the last few posts that this is a busy time of year for me. It’s also a fairly stressful one. I teach one section of high school seniors… the count down to graduation is crazy the last few weeks. While the students are less than willing to do anything, some of them really, REALLY need to do something. Like complete an assignment! No one wants to be the teacher telling parents that their child isn’t going to graduate, but some times you really have to wonder if that is what the kid wants to do. So, while trying to keep everyone motivated to do something, there are always a couple who really need a kick in the pants!

Meanwhile the laundry is piling up. Appointments are missed. And yesterday was the first time I cooked a meal that didn’t come out of can or a restaurant in about three weeks. Also, little blog posting as you can see… thinking was the last thing I wanted to do.

Yesterday was graduation, so it’s done. Everyone passed and no teary phone calls had to be made. For the next week, I’ll be finishing up the grading and packing up my room. Let the summer slide begin!

I did manage to register Lala and the Cuddler for swim lessons. Lala will also get dance lessons (they were $11 for the session! Rock bottom cheap! The local dance school – while a real dance school – charges $50 for a month!). I’m sure the rock bottom price is to get the kids suckered into joining one of the local dance schools, but I think I can resist temptation. Besides gymnastics will start up again in the fall.

The swim lessons are every morning! Is that normal? They’re timed just right as to make doing a few days of daycare (and giving Mommy a break) almost impossible and it’s every day! I’m not so thrilled about that – when will I mow the lawn? When will I get time to read some trashy novel? Or repaint the bathroom (decided I hate the grey)?

I also hit the library events calendar and put all the relevant things on the calendar. Free entertainment is going to be our watch word this summer. Actually, “Free!” will be our watch word… but anything “free” is usually pretty entertaining, so there you go. Our trips are planned out too – a weekend/birthday at my father’s house (hot tub!), camping with the family and another week @ my father’s house. Two kid free days @ a professional conference. First overnight stay at Grandma/Grandpa’s house. We’ll see how that goes… What do you do to prepare kids for that? I’ve found that Lala has a very hazy concept of time and preparation before 24 hours of any event tends to cause problems. I made the mistake of talking about the laryngoscope a week ahead of time, and we had freak outs every time we left the house for the week.

If we actually get warm weather, we will also hit the spray park. But that’s not something we can really plan on. FWIW, those of you sweltering elsewhere in the US, a trip to WA coast will bring much relief. Skip the lines and D*isn*y and bring a sweatshirt! We could also use the economic boost. Just sayin’ – it’s a win-win for everyone.

PS. Those large feathered flower hair things are just weird. Please stop wearing them. You know who you are.

Summer Fun

This past weekend was beautiful! In fact, there was so much playing outside, the cuddler actually took a nap. That is a lot of energy expended. Please let it continue... We haven't had a real summer here in four years.

The school year is winding down, but the work continues. Grading, packing up, and still no contract for next year. A bit worrisome. And exhausting.

Lala has her first major dental work appointment tomorrow. She did really well at the initial visit, despite getting lost, pulled over for speeding and a lot of swearing on my part before we even found the hidden office. She wasn't even slightly freaked out by the male dentist... A usual reaction to strange men. I'm hoping that trend continues tomorrow.

- Posted using my iPad

Olden Days

What did people do with toddlers on trips before lap top computers, Ipads and netflix? Because I may have gone crazy without them... 

May Madness

I give up. May is just too crazy.

I am a walking to do list. *shheesh*


Posted on the fly!

Weekend Update

The most heard phrase around work this week has been... "it's May." cue exasperated sigh. Everything happens in May. Testing galore. Field trips. Planning for next year. Graduation and all accompanying hoopla.

Basically, everyone is going crazy quickly and a lot of patience is needed to get through it.

It has made for a slow blogging month because I just don't have time to do anything besides work and keep the house from falling in around me. For a couple of days my house looked like 'that house' on the block with a nice meadow of knee high grass. So far the garden is barely there - between rain and work, I just don't have time to get to it.

Meanwhile, in the "wow! My kids are from such a different generation!" file... I'm having a hard time explaining to Lala the difference between a DVR'd show and regular TV. We don't watch a lot of regular TV, so on rare occasions that we do, she complains bitterly about the commercials. Madison street is failing big time with her. She was not even slightly tempted by the sparkling new sketchers... She just wanted Busytown back.

Posted on the fly!

Memorial Day?!?! ACK!

This month is just flying by! It was April… like, yesterday!

Thankfully, the weather has been somewhat cooperative. I finally got the peas in, and they are sprouting as I speak.

Nothing else has been done. My garden is currently growing weeds. Weeds that I faithfully pluck back out, because I’m going plant there… or, will when I get two minutes to myself.

I’m totally lying – I’ve spent all my extra time reading a new series of books on my phone. Work has been busy and stressful. I’m wanting to escape from it all the time.

Meanwhile, the darned garden still sits alone and barren.

Mother's Day Meme

The level of failures over the past two weeks has risen to a new level. Also, I had to give up my dog - which made me so ad, I really don't want to talk about anything of importance. I just want to avoid thinking.

My most embarrassing moment as a mom was when… my children have worn down my last nerve in public and I'm trying not go insane. I can't always keep that out of my expressions or voice, so I'm always wondering what people are really hearing while I try to keep it together. Also, Lala walked out the door this morning with my bra wrapped around her foot - in front of several of my high school students (bus stops in front of my house!).

The worst parenting advice I ever got was… "Enjoy every moment... they grow up so fast" Really? I should enjoy the whipping off the diaper stage where I have to scrub poop off of the floor? Cause I am NOT feeling it. Not everything is fantastic, but the good stuff makes it worthwhile, but don't feel guilty if you aren't enjoying every moment.

The best parenting advice I ever got was…"The days are long, but the years are short."

I wish they had have told me that being a mom… how amazingly funny your kids are, but only to you.

My most frightening moment as a mom was when…Lala had ear infection after ear infection when she was a baby and I didn't sleep for weeks at a time. Sometimes I'd sing "go to sleep, go to sleep" over and over trying not fall into a sleep deprivation psychosis. I, seriously, doubted that I had what it takes to be a mom.

My best mom blog is… Postcards from Insanity.

The most awkward question I get asked as a mom is…again, I must have one of those faces or I'm just not friendly enough... or I just never feel awkward. I never get asked rude questions. Or it could be the area I live in - why ask when every know kind of awkward situation out there exists in spades around here?

If I had to do anything over as a mom, it would be… yell less and panic less. They go hand in hand.

If I could advise new moms to do anything, it would be to… poop is now your life. First comes the first poops. The new kinds of poops. How many poops? What do the different kinds of poops mean? What if there is no poop? What consistency is the poop? "Did someone poop?" "Did you poop?" Will the poops go in the toilet? Who pooped on the toilet? Who didn't flush their poop? poop! Deal with it.

The "non-essential" items that became essential were… the umbrella stroller. Not only did it save my sanity while going to all the doctors appointments and other appointments, but we also used it as a sleep aid, a high chair, a place to put the baby while showering, etc. It was the second parent.

The products that make me look as if I've had a decent night's uninterrupted sleep are… my mother getting up with the kids.

The things that have kept me sane as a mom are… my mother. My cousins. My co-workers and friends.

The one thing I'll never do again as a mom is… buy toys I would want... not the ones they would want.

I'd like to be remembered as the mom who… put their children ahead of themselves (in a good way)

Motherhood has changed me because I'm… less selfish? more selfish? definitely less of a shopaholic

Frogs

While driving to kidlets to daycare in the morning, I cleared my throat (bring on the spring allergies!). Apparently, it was quite loud as the cuddler exclaimed from the back seat:

Cuddler: "Momma, what was that!"
Me: "I just had a frog in my throat."
Cuddler: *loud gasp of shock*
Lala: "Momma. We. Do. Not. Put. Frogs. In. Our. Mouth!"

15 seconds later...

Lala: "Momma, what is that sound you making?"
Me: "I'm laughing, Lala."

Oh, the joys of kids.

Organization

I am on this never ending quest to find the perfect organization plan. OCD about it. Am I actually organized? No. I drive myself crazy with this stuff!

Earlier today I was reading an article about a mom who uses *xcel to schedule her child's every movement in order to make sure they get into some overpriced Ivy League college. It's a little over kill, but since Lala asked me again if she had to "wear boy socks again!"... I was thinking maybe a little spreadsheet might be in order.

Then I remembered the elaborate schedules I put together in college... color-coded, with images/cartoons. They were works of art. And never last more than 24 hours. Something always came up, threw me off schedule and out it went.

Last week, I was considering hiring a professional organizer!

This afternoon, I read an interview with the found of ListPlanIt. Sounds like a great idea! I rushed to the site to look it over. My savior! But do I really want to spend $20 on something that I won't continue to do once the paper is cold?

My heavens when will I stop? I'm sick, I tell you. Sick! None of these things will make me organized! ARRHHRHRH!

Okay, now that I have that out of my system, I can breathe again.

Seriously. How do you become organized? Is it just something you do? Are you born with it? Ease into it? Kick yourself into?

Home Decor

Have I mentioned my quandaries with paint? Hmmm… yes. I have a serious problem. Mostly due to a serious inability “picture” anything in my head.

When I painted my living room, I went through no less than 8 different colors. Do you remember Bridget Jone*s Diary? I wanted the color of the walls in her garret apartment. It said “warm, cozy and comfy”. Finding that color in a paint was a very long process, however. There is no “garret apartment” color, FYI.

I finally found the color I wanted. I love it. In fact, I love it so much, that I later purchased one of those decor signs with a homey saying on it, in the same color. To hang in the living room. To say it wasn’t very noticable, is an understatement. Totally faded into the wall.

So I moved the sign into the kitchen. Really pops against the blue walls. Looks fantastic.

But now I have a hole in my living room. Finding another sign was going to difficult. Not only would I have to find the right color, but also the right saying. One that wasn’t too preachy, or twee… and be able to find it in about 5 minutes, which is the Cuddler’s shopping limit. Right.

Instead I found Jennifer of Onion Grove Mercantile. Or rather I found her blog Notes from the Heartland. Gardening, DYI, kids… all the stuff I love to read about. And you can probably tell where this is going… I had her paint a sign for that spot. One that is so personalized it makes me squeal. It makes my mother jealous it’s so personalized.

My great-grandfather was a rancher. My great-grandmother was a rancher’s daughter, going back to the days before Canada and the US had really settled on a border. Every story about them tells something about the ranch. The flowers (of which cuttings are now planted in multiple locations throughout the state – I have a granddaughter of the famous rose bush) or feeding the chickens, even stories about the neighbors are still told! The ranch was sold a long time ago – ranching was a hard thing during the 70’s and 80’s, especially when the US government started ‘paying’ people to stop. It’s not an easy life, especially in a place so rural that cell phones can only get signals on mountain tops.

The sign was designed around that piece of family history. I was pretty specific, but Jennifer took my requests and ran with them… even when I changed them!

I asked for a specific type of wood color to mimic the beaten weathered look of wood in that area. Jennifer suggested the colors for the text – which I totally trusted, because of my color issues. At the last minute, I asked her to include my great-grandfather’s brand, incorporated between the ranch name and town. It’s being shipped as I write! It’s going to work so well in that spot and NOT fade into the background!

Easter

We’re still in recovery mode. With four egg hunts, we’re still bursting with candy.

 

It took the Cuddler a little practice to get into the groove, but once he got the idea of picking up eggs and that said eggs were filled with candy, he was a machine! The one time I was able to get video, I had to edit out my unsuccessful attempts to get him to stop gathering eggs so that other children would be able to gather a fair share.

We’ve also had an egg hunt or two every day since then. Sans candy, of course, but no less sought after.

I finally tossed the plastic eggs this afternoon. At least all the ones I could find. The cuddler found two more an hour later. I’m sure we’ll still be finding errant eggs for the next month.

On Sunday, after church, we went to the house of one of Lala’s sisters. Most of her siblings gathered there for the holiday. Plus the cuddler, and the biological children other the adoptive parents, and foster children, and… it becomes so confusing to figure out who is what that eventually we all just gave up. Lala was very happy to see her siblings. At her age, it’s hard for her to verbalize how she feels about them, but her grin and hugs say that she loves them. Luckily, all of the parents are committed to maintaining contact and respecting each other. I can’t imagine how this would work without that… and what a loss it would be for her.

Remodeling Project – Mostly Finished?

Thanks to the help of my parents, most of my spring remodeling project has been finished! And I have photos to prove it!

 

The walls have been painted. The blue always reminds me of the summer sky in the eastern part of the state – where it doesn’t rain for six months straight and the temperature actually goes above 70 in August.

I still haven’t installed shelves in the pantry, but I did move a shelving unit into it and it was filled about 30 minutes later. Space is at a premium around here.

The pocket door works wonderfully, and it’s sooo nice to have my dining space back without the shelving unit – with the door closed, you can’t even tell that there is a stockpile of pasta and soup lurking behind.

I haven’t painted the door yet. I haven’t figure out what to do with it yet. What can I say, I take a long time to make decisions on things like that. I have pondered a creamy white (the color reminds me so much of vanilla ice cream that it makes me hungry!) to match the cabinets or to make it a chalk board. Can’t decide.

 

Speaking of chalkboards… The former closet door in Lala’s room:

It’s already been used several times! Basically, the doorway measure one sheet of drywall (how convenient!). My contractor just screwed in the drywall and framed it out – no extensive taping required. It goes from 6 and half feet to the floor. It’s big enough to be shared by the two kids, without fighting. Always a huge plus. My contractor’s wife thought it was such a good idea when he told her about it, that he had to build one for his son after finishing mine… I warned him about the huge mess the chalkboard paint makes – I use the spray paint. It’s messy, but it makes such a good chalk surface.

Easter Preparations – free association thinking.

I finally completed the (*SSHHH!) B-A-S-K-E-T shopping. I think it should be a pretty good haul for both kids. And get this… my father is coming just before the holiday. Why is this good news? Besides the obvious, I mean. My father won’t buy them another basket. In fact, my father and step-mother have been very well trained by my sister not to do anything without first checking with the parent. Plus, they’re cheap. This means I get to buy everything for the holiday. Which I rarely get to do.

I know this seems odd, but my mother goes crazy all the time. She would show up with Easter Baskets for them. And probably bikes. And a swing-set. And after that, what’s the point of getting anything else.

Anyways…

Have you seen the pre-candy-stuffed eggs for sale? Seriously, is it that hard to fill eggs? Are people really that busy? Too busy to fill Easter Eggs? If you’re that busy, why not just skip the whole thing and go to a community hunt?

Do you think people just buy things at Wal-#art because they’ve got this reputation as the ‘cheap place’? It seems like people see that smiley face and load up their carts. Every time I go in, I literally have to stop myself from saying to people “it’s cheaper at the local grocery store”. Granted the local grocery store isn’t the most attractive of places and the floors are uneven, but staple products are cheaper. Except butter. Which is now ridiculously expensive.

Do you think people buy those pre-filled eggs because they think they’re cheaper than filling their own, because they’re sold at Wal-#art?

Open Adoption

I have an open adoption agreement with birthmothers of both kids. It’s something I’ve felt was important for them, at least when they’re older.

But it’s a catch-22.

Right now, it’s not all that important to either of them. Let’s face it, they’re little kids and don’t really understand what it’s all about. We haven’t even got to the “where to babies come from” stage, so, it’s not like they have questions or are curious to see anyone. At this stage of game, the agreement is more about birth mom’s feelings. I get that. Really.

At the same time, there are very real reasons as to why neither birthmom could parent in the way the children needed them to. That is concerning to me on many levels. Maintaining contact requires a lot of judgment calls on my part to protect the children from potentially dangerous situations and probably protect myself from them, as well.

And let’s not get into how awkward visits can be.

I guess what I’m trying to tread carefully in saying is that walking that line can really suck. And most of the time I’m not sure if I’m walking on the right side. I’m still a big supporter of maintaining contact, but it’s not for faint of heart.

Recently, I got a request for more frequent visits. I didn’t know how to respond. I still don’t, to be honest. In the funny how life works category, I ran into a former CW, who knows the BM very, very well. When I mentioned the request, her first reaction was ‘No!’. It confirmed what I was feeling. That this wasn’t appropriate.

Now I just need to figure out a way to say it.

Growing

Lala can now go and wash her hands in the bathroom sink by herself. Will I ever get to the stage where I hear running water and don’t feel the flush of panic?

 

My lawn is in full chaos mode! It’s growing by leaps and bounds, but hasn’t been dry enough to cut. I may have to spend my afternoon with babysitter to mow. It would be just depressing if I didn’t love the look of a newly mowed lawn.

 

My garden is full of weeds. I get tired just looking at it.

Easter Basket Goodness

Easter is fast approaching... which means I have to get some easter baskets going! Someone has already been talking about the Easter Bunny bringing candy (durned Daycare friends!).

Here's my problem:

1. I don't want to give the kids a bunch of candy. I can handle the hyperactivity, but I can't handle the whining and screaming that comes with not being exactly even between the two or when we have to stop eating candy.
2. OMG! They have so many toys already! It's such a pain to try to keep things organized and in their places. What small trinket toys can I get that I won't be killing myself to keep track of in a week?

This weekend I'm going on a toy purge! I don't care how much they might play with it or how much I would like them to like it... it's going to be gone! Having less around is definitely better than adding to the current chaos. I'd put up photos, but I'm way too embarrassed.

The cuddler has never played with his wooden blocks unless it was to either dump them out with a loud crash or throw one at someone's head. Apparently, he won't be an architect. They're the first into the bag. Second will be the loud electronic rolly-ball thingy that I purchased in hopes that Lala would start crawling after it (she was a really late crawler).

Please tell me I'm not the only one who buys wish toys for their kids... you know, the kind of toys you hope your children fall in love with and make up elaborate imaginative games with that are not only entertaining for long stretches of time but also mold them into geniuses.

Energy

"Energy...
Sometimes I think I'm runnin' out of energy
Seems like we use an awful lot for
Heatin' and lightin' and drivin'
Readin' and writin' and jivin'"

I have not been keeping up with life. My house is a mess, my desk looks like.. well, you can't even see the desk really. And I've been falling asleep around 8pm every night. I think I'm just in a pre-Spring funk. We're starting to see some sunshine, but it's usually coupled with freezing temperatures and I haven't really been able to get outside to do anything. It's the time of year where I start planning to move some place warmer. Don't get me wrong, I like winter during the winter months. I just can't handle the spring months that are nothing but freezing cold and rain. I want to be warm darn it! Sadly, I haven't found the perfect place yet. I wonder what it's like in Kentucky?

This morning, Lala told me that very soon she'll be "big enough to sit [in the driver's seat] and reach the pedals". Her birthday is coming up soon!... I guess I'm not the only one in hurry for time to pass by.

MidMorning Quickie

Getting back to work after Spring Break has been exhausting. I don't know if it is jump back into the swing of things or the annual rush to squeeze everything in while simultaneously planning for next year... but I've been hitting the pillow about 5 minutes after the kids are in bed!

 

What have we been doing?

• construction on the new pantry took about four days longer than planned. This meant that I've really had no time to paint or put up the shelves. For now it's a pantry, with primed walls and an old shelving unit inside. That will have to hold for awhile.
• the blackboard for Lala's room is nearly finished - hopefully this weekend I will get the frame painted and photos up. She already loves it!
• it rained and poured all break so I got nothing done in the garden. I now have dandelions everywhere.
• I found out that my job is safe for next year, but just barely. In reality, I could still be laid off, since the legislature won't make up it's mind.
• our town is getting a $400,000 "spray park". I'm a tad annoyed as we have about three actual days a year when this could be used. An indoor gym open on the weekends would be a much better use of funding - or my friend keeping her job. Plus there is already a spray park in the next town over. And by "next over" I mean, the border between is a street. Our government is run by such narrow-minded competitive morons.
• my taxes are completed and will be mailed out today. I will then begin my haunt of my bank account watching for the money or will begin a couple of weeks. I have to submit by regular mail because of the finalization of the adoption and it will probably be reviewed pretty closely will the sudden adding of two children and the refund being more than I paid in. That adoption tax credit is the bomb!
• It's been sunny for the past two days! The kids are loving playing outside. Pray for a nice summer. We've had such crappy ones for the last three years.

Today we had our annual tsunami drill. During the discussion, we were informed that we needed to make plans to stay with our students for at least three days, if need be, and trust that our own children would be taken care by whoever they were with for those days. Talk about going above and beyond...  kinda gives a new perspective to that "teachers are greedy parasites on our society" argument. How much are you willing to pay to know that your child will be taken care of in a disaster if you couldn't reach them? I'll be having a chat with the daycare manager today. I'm certainly not willing to leave it up to hoping for the best - which I think most of people do.