Could you even pretend that you want me?

What can I say?

When you thought you'd never stand out.

Went back to Cedar yesterday.

I seriously don't feel anything for that place anymore.

At least I got to see some cool people.

Please please study,

and graduate quickly.

There's so much more after secondary school.

*

My hair is like a separate entity.

Everyone addresses it first.

I'm feeling weirdly jealous HAHA.

*

Baybeats is lacking something.

I don't know what, but I have a feeling

it's Chapalang-ness.

I'm serious.

I prefer last year's stage under the bridge,

which although caused slight impairment

for those moshing [everyone was constantly

falling down cause it was on a slope]

everyone was actually more into it,

you know?

Anyway, Typecast yesterday was ACE.

Meeting The Kids today.

Reunion at Baybeats!!

I hope it's going to be Rad,

although yes Clara,

something iffy always happens during Baybeats.

It won't feel right without a little Typical Teenage Angst

thrown in eh?

I'll stay up all night to hear about your day.

Sleepless in Singapore.

I could fall asleep standing up again,

but as someone asked me

"Why are you standing up in the first place?!".

So I sit.

Just one more day of utter boredom.

Just oneeee more [in this week at least].

I've been calling up everyone to complain.

Then three days of Baybeats,

meeting The Kids, meeting Egan

same as always.

I'm a geek,

I wrote out the band timings

and tacked it to my wall.

You won't be seventeen forever.

I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

But I hope you feel better.

Happy Birthday Ruiyi!

"THIS IS ASS YOU GUYS."

Haha do I look good as a boy?

FIERCE.

So the x-dressing gig was also a

hardcore gig and it was hilarious cause

Ruiyi was like "OMG TAUPOK TO THE MAX

WE ARE GOING TO

BE POUNCED ON AND DIE".

But no, we stood to the side

and were safe.

*

No more horror movies please,

I am having insomnia so bad.

BEST PICTURE EVER

is the one that got snapped at Wild Wild Wet,

at the end of the

ride on the big round float with RY Eme Vans & I

EVERYONE SPONTANEOUSLY FLIPPED THE BIRD.

SUCK ON THIS.

Quoting Mean Girls throughout.

I love the pictures where RY is drunk haha <3

 I managed to keep my head out of the

toilet bowl and the bushes

but I did get a bit out of it cause I danced.

I never dance in front of people.

Tessa had to cajole me and

Egan had to yank me off the bed by my ankles

but I just whined and crawled back under the blanket.

But remember a post awhile back?

"I'm not going to say that I can't dance anymore."

So I took a deep breath and got up

and danced.

I am so effing bored now though

that's the thing with spending like, two days

surrounded by people.

Suddenly, when you get home,

being alone is so fucking brain numbing.

*

NOW WILL EVERYONE QUIT FIGHTING

BEHIND BACKS THIS IS MADNESS.

We're just two souls swimming in a fishbowl, year after year.

I dreamt of serial killers and zombies last night.

The weird bit was that I woke up,

had a "what the fuck?" moment, and went back to sleep

to continue the same dream.

I think I'm going to get hired at

Ruiyi's old workplace.

Hello Floral Shirts & Broken Chinese.

*

X-dressing gig today 

["I should just dress damn girly and say I'm a boy,

since everyone thinks I look like one already."

"Yeah Paul."].

The counter guy really called me Paul WADDAHFUCK.

RY's chalet tomorrow,

Baybeats next weekend.

My third one.

Things are always different during each Baybeats Period.

But best, both were spent trying to avoid someone.

I wonder how this one is going to be.

As long as you're alive & care.

Let's sleep till the sun burns out.

"I'm feeling ageless."

I don't want to fester at home

but I want time to just think.

Picture.

Oh God.

The things you say, seriously.

Chin up, set jaw.

Maybe I'll ask when the mood strikes.

Because you've seen everything anyway.

No room for Embarrassment.

Everything hurts. Physically.

I think I cut my ankle on a ceedee

while flailing around in the dark,

and the other ailment requires a doctor's attention.

A better slumber was in your arms.

Space Monkeys, Chamber of Secrets,

The Curse of the Black Pearl & Lords of Dogtown.

We are brilliant.

I have a moustache.

Run at the beach, try to feel like myself again.

*

What ARE you thinking?

This screams slightly of this Kelly video.

I don't know what to do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lP_BsSUXGx8

Do I cause new heartbreak to write a new broken song?

Coffee Run & mad hot morning

just to see some stupid woman

marching around telling Vermillion to

turn down the volume.

Fucking hilarious.

Job Hunt II before meeting Tess

for Weekendtrip where I lost my phone,

found my phone [Thank you, person who found it!],

she met Hosanna,

and we sat on the ground &

displayed the fact that we absolutely

don't belong to any of the groups there.

WHY.

My face has like a spasm

and my body totally freezes up.

Nervous nervous nervous wreck.

Still.

I'm up and doing circles.

What are you so afraid of?

Why do you need to keep reassuring yourself

that people care?

We're propping up mirrors in every angle.

They don't reflect everything, of course,

but they show enough.

We need to look away.

I don't want to have to keep apologizing.

I don't want to have to keep my words in check.

We are insignificant little people living very small lives

[to the rest of the world at least].

Remember that.

Remember that you aren't all that.

I may just outgrow this.

Tricky tricky.

But they're closing the bar & they want us to leave.

Hilarious hilarious conversations

about people's heads getting stomped,

about NO CLOTHES POLICY [Best policy],

about the crazy things we do

omgforeverandever

I will eat wasabi because you guys are awesome.

*

I win Best Myspace shot.

Hit me up, Fer Shure!

*

[Edit 1:43 AM : You think you're so above judgement & everything.

Your self-righteous bullshit is fucking laughable.

So go on your merry way,

secretly thinking that you're awesomely cool

cause you can "read people".

I'm tired of being your bitch.

This has been fun and all but

god you are fucking delusional.]