I never thought of studying counseling, ever- until the last 2 years that is. I used to think to myself- basically you just need to know how to talk to people, lots of wisdom from God, and be a vessel of the Holy Spirit. I thought I could handle the first one- I was not tactless. The second criteria- which is why knowing His Word is so important, so studying of His Word is the most important thing ever. I have no control over the third- I can only pray that He would use me, and speak through me.
Retrospectively, I guess God was feeding me the humble pie through these 2 years. Everytime I talked to someone who confided in me, I would go back and tear the conversation apart. Had I given worldly wisdom? Did my efforts to bring God into the picture sound hollow? Could I have given better counsel than my feeble advice? Had I listened well?
Psychoanalyzing this, I guess it does sound very self-centered- that the focus is what I have done. On other occasions, I perhaps might repent of that guilt. But the truth is, the desire to be a better friend, a better steward of the trust and time God & my friend had entrusted to me started to grow stronger and stronger. I desire so much to not give worthless self-help type of advice, and hope that somehow I could better lead them to see where Jesus is in all this so they could go to Him. I wanted to communicate the truth in spirit and in love.
It is in this context that I started thinking about counseling skills. I know that I am not your typical “counselor” type of person- someone gentle in spirit, flowing with wisdom, elegance and stability. I am a little crazy, unstable at times, stutter my way through and open my mouth before I think. And I admit that it would freak me out to be labeled as a “counselor” in any sort of context. These were the things that gave me cold feet.
Reading “Courage & Calling” gave me insight. Part of finding out our calling is to ask the question- how has God made us to see the broken-ness of this world? What causes my heart to cry and beat with God’s? I want to mourn with those who mourn, and laugh with those who laugh. I want to help lift people’s eyes off the circles that we are running each day, to see Him who was and is to come.
When I think about the people whom I would talk to in the future- because I am a woman and cant stop yakking. When Aunt Joanne reminded me that people would also come to me by virtue of being a missionary/ churchworker/ pastor’s wife. When at the end of the day, ministry is about people and relationships- why shall I not be compelled to be better equipped for their sake? Even if I am not your typical counselor or would use nothing from the course- I could not have done any damage for learning more.
And so here I am, set and really excited to start my MA in Counseling Ministries in the Spring at Trinity. I look forward to going back to the classroom, getting my hands dirty, learning and being exposed to a whole new world. And the best thing is that I will not just be learning about psychology and counseling in a secular setting, but there’s lots of theology, Christian worldview, pastoral and ministry issues mixed into it. What else can I ask for?
Being the horrible critic that I am, I do want to acknowledge that theories and skills can well only be head knowledge. So I have no illusions that I would be wiser and more skilled by going through this. The wise heart still comes only from loving, knowing, fearing and seeking Him first. My prayer is that He will mould me through the people I will meet, the books, the practical training, etc. Even thereafter, to display His strength through my weaknesses.
When I recall my secret dream to pursue a further education that is both my heart’s desire and for His Kingdom, and that it’s really happening.. I am truly humbled at how He has brought about this- being patient with me and giving me the necessary nudges to push me along. Please keep me in prayer- and in all things, to Him be the glory!
http://www.tiu.edu/divinity/academics/programs/mdiv-ma/counselingministries
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
The Wounded Healer
Such a brilliant and introspective book first published in 1979. And I am completely blown away by how relevant the book still is today, 21 years later. Henri Nouwen had stated at the outset, that he is addressing the need of tomorrow’s generation, as he explores ministry in a dislocated world, ministry for a rootless generation, ministry to a hopeless man, and ministry by a lonely minister. And I guess, we are that generation he is addressing.
The book is not a “blow you away”, dripping with theological juices kind of book. Neither is it a “I understand your pain” solidarity affirmation. But it leads its reader on an introspective journey, to be safe in acknowledging that one carries wounds, to look beyond the self and see that the wounds we all carry are not that unique, to learn to see that our neighbor is wounded too, and find strength to be that wounded healer.
Don’t intend this to be a spoiler for anyone who would read that book some day, but here’s an extract in the last chapter that I’d like to share with you the reader….
Therefore I would like to voice loudly and clearly what might seem unpopular and maybe even disturbing: The Christian way of life does not take away our loneliness; it protects and cherishes it as a precious gift. Sometimes it seems as if we do everything possible to avoid the painful confrontation with our basic human loneliness, and allow ourselves to be trapped by false gods promising immediate satisfaction and quick relief.
But perhaps the painful awareness of loneliness is an invitation to transcend our limitations and look beyond the boundaries of our existence. The awareness of loneliness might be a gift we must protect and guard, because our loneliness reveals to us an inner emptiness that can be destructive when misunderstood, but filled with promise for him who can tolerate its sweet pain.
When we are impatient, when we want to give up our loneliness and try to overcome the separation and incompleteness we feel too soon, we easily relate to our human world with devastating expectations. We ignore what we already know with a deep-seated, intuitive knowledge- that no love or friendship, no intimate embrace or tender kiss, no community, commune or collective, no man or woman, will ever be able to satisfy our desire to be released from our lonely condition.
This truth is so disconcerting and painful that we are more prone to play games with our fantasies than to face the truth of our existence. Thus we keep hoping that one day we will find the man who really understands our experiences, the woman who will bring peace to our restless life, the job where we can fulfill our potentials, the book which will explain everything, and the place where we can feel at home. Such false hope leads us to make exhausting demands and prepares us for bitterness and dangerous hostility when we start discovering that nobody, and nothing, can live up to our absolutistic expectations.
The book is not a “blow you away”, dripping with theological juices kind of book. Neither is it a “I understand your pain” solidarity affirmation. But it leads its reader on an introspective journey, to be safe in acknowledging that one carries wounds, to look beyond the self and see that the wounds we all carry are not that unique, to learn to see that our neighbor is wounded too, and find strength to be that wounded healer.
Don’t intend this to be a spoiler for anyone who would read that book some day, but here’s an extract in the last chapter that I’d like to share with you the reader….
Therefore I would like to voice loudly and clearly what might seem unpopular and maybe even disturbing: The Christian way of life does not take away our loneliness; it protects and cherishes it as a precious gift. Sometimes it seems as if we do everything possible to avoid the painful confrontation with our basic human loneliness, and allow ourselves to be trapped by false gods promising immediate satisfaction and quick relief.
But perhaps the painful awareness of loneliness is an invitation to transcend our limitations and look beyond the boundaries of our existence. The awareness of loneliness might be a gift we must protect and guard, because our loneliness reveals to us an inner emptiness that can be destructive when misunderstood, but filled with promise for him who can tolerate its sweet pain.
When we are impatient, when we want to give up our loneliness and try to overcome the separation and incompleteness we feel too soon, we easily relate to our human world with devastating expectations. We ignore what we already know with a deep-seated, intuitive knowledge- that no love or friendship, no intimate embrace or tender kiss, no community, commune or collective, no man or woman, will ever be able to satisfy our desire to be released from our lonely condition.
This truth is so disconcerting and painful that we are more prone to play games with our fantasies than to face the truth of our existence. Thus we keep hoping that one day we will find the man who really understands our experiences, the woman who will bring peace to our restless life, the job where we can fulfill our potentials, the book which will explain everything, and the place where we can feel at home. Such false hope leads us to make exhausting demands and prepares us for bitterness and dangerous hostility when we start discovering that nobody, and nothing, can live up to our absolutistic expectations.
Monday, October 18, 2010
A very small yes...
17 October 2006, he asked me if he could have a chance to court me. My very small yes then, brought us down a road that led to a bigger yes 2 years later. Who would have thought : )
So here’s a special dedication to the one who likes to start his letters off to me as if we're already in the middle of a conversation… And so I pretend that we are the oldest and dearest of friends as oppose to what we actually were then…. “What will he say today?” I sometimes wonder.
I turn on my computer, I sign on, I wait impatiently as it connects and my chest catches my breath as I watch my inbox and see the little envelope that tells me three little words. 'You've Got Mail' I hear nothing,… just the beat of my own heart. I have mail-- from you.
So here’s a special dedication to the one who likes to start his letters off to me as if we're already in the middle of a conversation… And so I pretend that we are the oldest and dearest of friends as oppose to what we actually were then…. “What will he say today?” I sometimes wonder.
I turn on my computer, I sign on, I wait impatiently as it connects and my chest catches my breath as I watch my inbox and see the little envelope that tells me three little words. 'You've Got Mail' I hear nothing,… just the beat of my own heart. I have mail-- from you.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The magic of ordinary days…
Moomoo commented that I look happier these days… That's when i notice that i am smiling more from the inside, and I'm truly thankful for that- the slightly downside would be my rounder face as she keeps reminding me... Bleah :p But it's ok laaaaa.... :)
And I'm wondering why... Maybe it's because of the more time i get to think and read, maybe Daddy is working His magic inside me, maybe it's just a different pace and a different life I'm having- i love change, or maybe it's simply because of my sugar high from all the chocoates and ice-cream.. *guilty pleasure*
Anyhow, moomoo's comment got me thinking about some things that makes me happy each day… Here’s a glimpse of 5 smiles I’d have inside any given ordinary day.
1. Taking a long warm shower in the morning- that’s all I need to shake off the shivers and sleepiness
2. Journeying from home to office– car ride chats with Arthur, getting busy on the Metra, walking in the Chicago dawn overlooking the river and looking up at the skyscrapers, love the feeling of the cool morning air in my face as I brisk walk to my destination
3. Greeting the squirrels and trees, basically I name them all the same- “Hello Squirrel! Hello tree!” Maybe in heaven, they will finally be able to converse with me.
4. Thinking about dinner in the middle of the day, sometimes because I’m hungry, sometimes because I’m experimenting with something different, whatever the reason it’s always nice to await a nice meal
5. Laying in bed, with my head on the soft pillow, thankful that the day is over, wondering when I will fall into a deep deep sleep, and then without knowing… be off to dreamland
And I'm wondering why... Maybe it's because of the more time i get to think and read, maybe Daddy is working His magic inside me, maybe it's just a different pace and a different life I'm having- i love change, or maybe it's simply because of my sugar high from all the chocoates and ice-cream.. *guilty pleasure*
Anyhow, moomoo's comment got me thinking about some things that makes me happy each day… Here’s a glimpse of 5 smiles I’d have inside any given ordinary day.
1. Taking a long warm shower in the morning- that’s all I need to shake off the shivers and sleepiness
2. Journeying from home to office– car ride chats with Arthur, getting busy on the Metra, walking in the Chicago dawn overlooking the river and looking up at the skyscrapers, love the feeling of the cool morning air in my face as I brisk walk to my destination
3. Greeting the squirrels and trees, basically I name them all the same- “Hello Squirrel! Hello tree!” Maybe in heaven, they will finally be able to converse with me.
4. Thinking about dinner in the middle of the day, sometimes because I’m hungry, sometimes because I’m experimenting with something different, whatever the reason it’s always nice to await a nice meal
5. Laying in bed, with my head on the soft pillow, thankful that the day is over, wondering when I will fall into a deep deep sleep, and then without knowing… be off to dreamland
Saturday, October 09, 2010
Not a baby kind of girl…
I’m really not your baby kind of girl. I look at all the people around me, and I must admit that I feel like a baby-hating b**** beside them…
Well, of course I don’t actually hate babies or kids- I find them charming for the first “oh… he/she is sooo cute!”, after which I’m just ready to “ok.. let’s get down to what I need to do with you”. I can keep them company, babysit them, play with them, teach them Sunday school, carry them, sing to them, rock them to sleep- and completely enjoying the process.. but cross my heart, I’m not THAT absorbed about them.
I think about my sister with her non-stop talking about Joy-joy and Isaac, or Xun’s obsession with Miguel. Everyone in the family who adores baby Katie, keeping up with her photos and videos, etc. I must admit I’m not like that. Squealing “Isn’t she cute!!”, “He’s my boy” just aint my cup of tea. And beside all these people who fawns over the young ones, I am starting to wonder if I’m cut out to be a mother.
A part of me thinks that I’m gonna rebel against all that attention given to kids such that- when I have one of my own, don’t expect me to video them or post constant updates about them. I’m prob gonna be writing about my own insanity. That kid is not gonna be the center of my existence, thank you very much.
What shall I do? And to be completely honest, neither Arthur and I are crazy about having children at this point. And the prospect of watching them grow up and go through all the crazy things this world throws at them, sends butterflies into my stomach. And think about all the things we have to give up for them- am I ready to do that? Adoption is a possibility, but the paperwork and cost is so prohibitive… Gosh I have less love than Angelina Jolie!!! I’m starting to sound like a selfish child hater now, don’t i?
Maybe we don’t have the gift of having children? There are heaps of cute Eurasian babies around, a few less on the surface of the earth won’t hurt? Man… In His time, in His time.
Well, of course I don’t actually hate babies or kids- I find them charming for the first “oh… he/she is sooo cute!”, after which I’m just ready to “ok.. let’s get down to what I need to do with you”. I can keep them company, babysit them, play with them, teach them Sunday school, carry them, sing to them, rock them to sleep- and completely enjoying the process.. but cross my heart, I’m not THAT absorbed about them.
I think about my sister with her non-stop talking about Joy-joy and Isaac, or Xun’s obsession with Miguel. Everyone in the family who adores baby Katie, keeping up with her photos and videos, etc. I must admit I’m not like that. Squealing “Isn’t she cute!!”, “He’s my boy” just aint my cup of tea. And beside all these people who fawns over the young ones, I am starting to wonder if I’m cut out to be a mother.
A part of me thinks that I’m gonna rebel against all that attention given to kids such that- when I have one of my own, don’t expect me to video them or post constant updates about them. I’m prob gonna be writing about my own insanity. That kid is not gonna be the center of my existence, thank you very much.
What shall I do? And to be completely honest, neither Arthur and I are crazy about having children at this point. And the prospect of watching them grow up and go through all the crazy things this world throws at them, sends butterflies into my stomach. And think about all the things we have to give up for them- am I ready to do that? Adoption is a possibility, but the paperwork and cost is so prohibitive… Gosh I have less love than Angelina Jolie!!! I’m starting to sound like a selfish child hater now, don’t i?
Maybe we don’t have the gift of having children? There are heaps of cute Eurasian babies around, a few less on the surface of the earth won’t hurt? Man… In His time, in His time.
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
6 October 2010, my birthday
How did I spend my birthday?
I was asked many times today how I spent my birthday or am planning to spend my birthday. And I also had a hard time trying to remember how I spent my birthday last year! So here I am penning special memories of today so that I wont forget next year!
If you’re reading this, beware that this is pretty much a boring “what did I do”-diary type of entry..
So I woke up to a nice gift and card from Arthur. But his biggest gift to me this year making a cake with me after dinner- that I would count as my most precious memory this year. It’s there in the photos, my butter sponge with cinnamon apple and chocoloate topping cake. It was pretty yum!! The sweet soft butter sponge- thanks to Arthur’s beating (we made it without an electric mixer!), tart granny smith and chocolate went very well together indeed. Hmm.. another of my kooky creations :p
And of course, I hadn’t planned on doing anything very special. So it was work as usual. Sorry to disappoint those who were hoping I’ll have a ‘smashing’, ‘special’, ‘fun’ birthday. Heh.. But working from home has its advantages.. I got to skype with Gayle! Though she hadn’t installed her webcam.. So I didn’t let her see me either hahaha…
As I was reminded, it’s my first bday in the States :p And I know mum stayed partially coz of it- and she splurged on a not very prudent gift for me. *guilty* Oh and of course, my moo moo was the first to wish me on the phone- and she woke up specially to wish me on Singapore time 6 October. Usual prima donna princess, wishing me on her timeline hahaha..
Not to mention the many e-cards and FB messages I received. Thanks so much for them!! See how FB is changing the world… So I made it a personal goal to respond to all of them.. And I’m still working through them. And Mum and Dad called from Decatur- sweet of them to remember.. I wanted to call Daddy and give him a chance to wish me happy birthday :p but sigh! He didn’t pick up his phone.. bleah…
Now one last thing left to do… To be quiet and think about what this past year had been like.. The forgetful me is really terrible at this. So I need to go and hopefully squeeze in some reflective moments before Daddy, or I lose this day again!
So here’s my 29th birthday.. the last one before I hit the big 3.. Eeeeeeee……
I was asked many times today how I spent my birthday or am planning to spend my birthday. And I also had a hard time trying to remember how I spent my birthday last year! So here I am penning special memories of today so that I wont forget next year!
If you’re reading this, beware that this is pretty much a boring “what did I do”-diary type of entry..
So I woke up to a nice gift and card from Arthur. But his biggest gift to me this year making a cake with me after dinner- that I would count as my most precious memory this year. It’s there in the photos, my butter sponge with cinnamon apple and chocoloate topping cake. It was pretty yum!! The sweet soft butter sponge- thanks to Arthur’s beating (we made it without an electric mixer!), tart granny smith and chocolate went very well together indeed. Hmm.. another of my kooky creations :p
And of course, I hadn’t planned on doing anything very special. So it was work as usual. Sorry to disappoint those who were hoping I’ll have a ‘smashing’, ‘special’, ‘fun’ birthday. Heh.. But working from home has its advantages.. I got to skype with Gayle! Though she hadn’t installed her webcam.. So I didn’t let her see me either hahaha…
As I was reminded, it’s my first bday in the States :p And I know mum stayed partially coz of it- and she splurged on a not very prudent gift for me. *guilty* Oh and of course, my moo moo was the first to wish me on the phone- and she woke up specially to wish me on Singapore time 6 October. Usual prima donna princess, wishing me on her timeline hahaha..
Not to mention the many e-cards and FB messages I received. Thanks so much for them!! See how FB is changing the world… So I made it a personal goal to respond to all of them.. And I’m still working through them. And Mum and Dad called from Decatur- sweet of them to remember.. I wanted to call Daddy and give him a chance to wish me happy birthday :p but sigh! He didn’t pick up his phone.. bleah…
Now one last thing left to do… To be quiet and think about what this past year had been like.. The forgetful me is really terrible at this. So I need to go and hopefully squeeze in some reflective moments before Daddy, or I lose this day again!
So here’s my 29th birthday.. the last one before I hit the big 3.. Eeeeeeee……
Saturday, October 02, 2010
His sheep am I...
Listening to the sermon on “The Leader we need” in church last week brought back so many memories and desires. Memories of people who were shepherds in my life at different points, and desires of shepherding God’s flock.
There are so many others who were His shepherds to me- Xun who was one of the first few who watered this plant when she was young, the pastors whose teachings I’ve sat under in PPC, ARPC and Project Timothy, but here I’d like to pay tribute to 2 who came to mind as I reflected on the sermon…
I remember the days when I first took up the role of a small group leader, serving alongside with so many other brothers and sisters. And there was this camp for small group leaders that really nailed home what it means to be a small group leader, a shepherd of the small flock that God has entrusted you with. We spent the entire camp looking at the shepherding ministry in the many different angles.
Andrew led that camp, and thinking about it now fills me up with gratitude for what God has done through him in my life, that has such far reaching effects. That camp probably laid the foundation for my passion in small groups. Thank you Andrew!
And when I think about a leader who prays for her sheep, Lijuan comes to my mind almost immediately. She has been the only shepherd I’ve had who ever said to me, “I’ve been praying about this, and I feel peace about your decision to go to Beijing. I think it’s God’s leading, so go for it..” Those were not the exact words, she must had said them much better. But hearing those words- words with such holy elegance, from her was such an affirmation. The precious conversation gave me courage to embrace the Beijing stint- and look where that brought me. I miss having a shepherd like that, and I want to be like her. Thank you Lijuan!
The sermon encapsulated so many things I’ve contemplated over and over again on how to be a shepherd of God’s flock, and lessons that God has taught me each time I feel discouraged or lost. I want to be a shepherd like that! It’s such hard work, but so much joy! I pray that I can pour myself out for a community like a shepherd- no matter where i am, what role i am playing, and to serve them the way God would have me to.
But I need first to also learn to be a sheep.. A few poignant questions I was asked through the sermon-
1. What is my faith frontier? Am I seeking to stretch myself in new grounds? Or have I dwindled into a spiritual couch potato?
2. It’s not enough to care, if I do not care enough to pray really struck home. I admit that I probably talk more than I pray.. I need to reverse the priority!
Here’s parking the sermon notes as a reminder to myself in the days to come- of the shepherd I need to be for Him!
Num 27:12-23
I. WE NEED A SHEPHERD WHO YEARNS TO TAKE US TO OUR TRUE HOME (27:12-14)
A. As believers today, our true home isn’t the land of Canaan, as it was for Israel then. Our home is life in Christ here and now, and life with Christ in heaven forever after.
B. There is a song that says, “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it; prone to leave the God I love.”
How many times in our study of Numbers did we hear the Israelites say, “We want to go back to Egypt”? There’s some of them in all of us. Sometimes in our rebellion we want to run away from home, and other times we just cannot remember our way.
C. If the shepherd is to lead us home, our shepherd must see vividly what only faith can know. Our shepherd must have a spiritually innate sense of direction. Home is that way! Thankfully, God puts people in our lives who will steer us again and again back to the life of Christ, for it is only in Christ that we can rest in this alien world. Also, we need a shepherd who never forgets that “this world is not my home, I’m just a-passin’ through,” who paints pictures for us of the new heaven and the new earth more vivid the grayscale of this world and who stirs within us a homesick-ness for where we’re going instead of where we’ve been.
II. WE NEED A SHEPHERD WHO PRAYS FOR WHAT WE NEED MOST (27:15-17)
Do you remember what these people have put Moses through? Those 40 years had very nearly killed him, and they had surely broken his heart. Almost all that time, among most all the Israelites, Moses was resented and attacked. Yet, again and again he had prayed for them as though their lives depended on it. Because their lives had depended on it.
Moses prayed for the LORD’s people here as though they were the most precious people on the face of the earth. He prayed as though nothing in all of life was so important to him, so dear to his heart, as the care of God’s people. So he prays. Do not miss that. He prays.
That is what God’s shepherds must do. It is not enough that they care, if they do not care enough to pray.
III. WE NEED A SHEPHERD WHO CAN LEAD US OUT AND IN (27:17,21b)
God’s people are generally given to inertia; we are usually spiritual couch potatoes, oblivious to the fact that there are promises of God just over the horizon that he expects us to claim, that there are frontiers for our faith.
If I asked you right now to write down what your faith frontier is, what promises of God you are being pushed to believe, could you come up with something? That’s what shepherds are for. God himself, and all those who shepherd under him, keep us moving toward the life God intends for us.
In their book, Spiritual Leadership, Henry and Richard Blackaby write, “Spiritual leadership is moving people on to God’s agenda. When spiritual leaders have done their jobs, the people around them have encountered God and will obey his will.” [pp.20-21]
IV. WE NEED A SHEPHERD WHO HAS THE SPIRIT OF GOD (27:18)
The Spirit of God within a shepherd gives the wisdom of God, and there is no divine quality more needful than that. Wisdom, of course, is not the most spectacular of the Spirit’s gifts, but it is what God’s shepherd needs most.
God’s Spirit of wisdom sculpts the heart of God’s shepherd through Scripture. You who are learning to study Scripture, pay heed to this: it is not your hermeneutics and exegesis that will ultimately make you an effective shepherd for God. It will be that Scripture is on your lips, that Scripture permeates your mind and your prayers, and that Scripture shapes your behavior. That is the only possible way we can be wise enough to shepherd God’s people.
V. WE NEED A SHEPHERD WHO UNFAILINGLY INQUIRES OF THE LORD IN LEADING GOD’S PEOPLE (27:21)
So many decisions shepherds face in leading God’s people are more complex than that. We do our best to sift the issues through the pages of Scripture, through our experience as believers, through what our gut tells us.
My observation is that when we pray through to a clear answer God takes all we’ve thought about and gives it order. Not only does the decision become clear, but hearts become settled. There is a holy elegance and peace that confirms the wisdom of inquiring of the Lord.
Plus, by making this our practice, by inquiring of God unfailingly, shepherds are reminded again and again that this is God’s flock, God’s organization, God’s endeavor. The LORD’s name is on the door. No matter how wise we might be, the LORD always wants the last word.
Most importantly and obviously, Jesus Christ is our Good Shepherd. Matt 9:36 says, “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” Jesus tells us in Jn 10:11, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” Then he says it again in v.14, “I am the good shepherd; I know my
Keep pointing people who are “prone to wander” toward their true home in Christ and in heaven.
o Pray for their care, no matter how they treat you. Pray that you will have the shepherd they need.
o Lead them out to claim the promises of God, and safely in to the fold of Jesus.
o Do nothing without God’s Spirit of wisdom, always attuned to God’s Word.
o Unfailingly inquire of the Lord about each decision. Be wise and thoughtful. Use your head and your Bible. But do not proceed without getting God’s direction.
• Finally, one more conclusion: The LORD’s people must follow their shepherd. Most importantly, we must follow Jesus. Later, after Moses died and Joshua become the leader of Israel, the Israelites said to him in Josh 1:16, “Whatever you have commanded us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go.”
That is what we must say to Jesus, our Good Shepherd.
Dr. Tim Laniak, a professor at Gordon-Conwell Seminary, interviewed a Bedouin shepherd in Jordan a few years ago.
Q. How many sheep and goats do you have?
A. 2000. I have the biggest flock in this area…
Q. How many [sheep and goats] did you start with?
A. I began with one in 1984. And I still know every one of them. They are like family to me.
Q. With that many, you still know every one of them?
A. Yes. I am with the flocks every day. Although I have homes in the village, I stay out here with them during the summer [migration]. I must personally supervise the care of the sheep or I shouldn't be a shepherd…It's a thing of the soul; it's not a business.
Q. Have you ever lost any sheep?
A. Yes, but I always looked for the ones that were lost until I found them–alive or dead. There is only one sheep that I couldn't find and it still bothers me every day.
Q. How long would it take to teach me to be a good shepherd?
A. Do you have the heart for it?
There are so many others who were His shepherds to me- Xun who was one of the first few who watered this plant when she was young, the pastors whose teachings I’ve sat under in PPC, ARPC and Project Timothy, but here I’d like to pay tribute to 2 who came to mind as I reflected on the sermon…
I remember the days when I first took up the role of a small group leader, serving alongside with so many other brothers and sisters. And there was this camp for small group leaders that really nailed home what it means to be a small group leader, a shepherd of the small flock that God has entrusted you with. We spent the entire camp looking at the shepherding ministry in the many different angles.
Andrew led that camp, and thinking about it now fills me up with gratitude for what God has done through him in my life, that has such far reaching effects. That camp probably laid the foundation for my passion in small groups. Thank you Andrew!
And when I think about a leader who prays for her sheep, Lijuan comes to my mind almost immediately. She has been the only shepherd I’ve had who ever said to me, “I’ve been praying about this, and I feel peace about your decision to go to Beijing. I think it’s God’s leading, so go for it..” Those were not the exact words, she must had said them much better. But hearing those words- words with such holy elegance, from her was such an affirmation. The precious conversation gave me courage to embrace the Beijing stint- and look where that brought me. I miss having a shepherd like that, and I want to be like her. Thank you Lijuan!
The sermon encapsulated so many things I’ve contemplated over and over again on how to be a shepherd of God’s flock, and lessons that God has taught me each time I feel discouraged or lost. I want to be a shepherd like that! It’s such hard work, but so much joy! I pray that I can pour myself out for a community like a shepherd- no matter where i am, what role i am playing, and to serve them the way God would have me to.
But I need first to also learn to be a sheep.. A few poignant questions I was asked through the sermon-
1. What is my faith frontier? Am I seeking to stretch myself in new grounds? Or have I dwindled into a spiritual couch potato?
2. It’s not enough to care, if I do not care enough to pray really struck home. I admit that I probably talk more than I pray.. I need to reverse the priority!
Here’s parking the sermon notes as a reminder to myself in the days to come- of the shepherd I need to be for Him!
Num 27:12-23
I. WE NEED A SHEPHERD WHO YEARNS TO TAKE US TO OUR TRUE HOME (27:12-14)
A. As believers today, our true home isn’t the land of Canaan, as it was for Israel then. Our home is life in Christ here and now, and life with Christ in heaven forever after.
B. There is a song that says, “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it; prone to leave the God I love.”
How many times in our study of Numbers did we hear the Israelites say, “We want to go back to Egypt”? There’s some of them in all of us. Sometimes in our rebellion we want to run away from home, and other times we just cannot remember our way.
C. If the shepherd is to lead us home, our shepherd must see vividly what only faith can know. Our shepherd must have a spiritually innate sense of direction. Home is that way! Thankfully, God puts people in our lives who will steer us again and again back to the life of Christ, for it is only in Christ that we can rest in this alien world. Also, we need a shepherd who never forgets that “this world is not my home, I’m just a-passin’ through,” who paints pictures for us of the new heaven and the new earth more vivid the grayscale of this world and who stirs within us a homesick-ness for where we’re going instead of where we’ve been.
II. WE NEED A SHEPHERD WHO PRAYS FOR WHAT WE NEED MOST (27:15-17)
Do you remember what these people have put Moses through? Those 40 years had very nearly killed him, and they had surely broken his heart. Almost all that time, among most all the Israelites, Moses was resented and attacked. Yet, again and again he had prayed for them as though their lives depended on it. Because their lives had depended on it.
Moses prayed for the LORD’s people here as though they were the most precious people on the face of the earth. He prayed as though nothing in all of life was so important to him, so dear to his heart, as the care of God’s people. So he prays. Do not miss that. He prays.
That is what God’s shepherds must do. It is not enough that they care, if they do not care enough to pray.
III. WE NEED A SHEPHERD WHO CAN LEAD US OUT AND IN (27:17,21b)
God’s people are generally given to inertia; we are usually spiritual couch potatoes, oblivious to the fact that there are promises of God just over the horizon that he expects us to claim, that there are frontiers for our faith.
If I asked you right now to write down what your faith frontier is, what promises of God you are being pushed to believe, could you come up with something? That’s what shepherds are for. God himself, and all those who shepherd under him, keep us moving toward the life God intends for us.
In their book, Spiritual Leadership, Henry and Richard Blackaby write, “Spiritual leadership is moving people on to God’s agenda. When spiritual leaders have done their jobs, the people around them have encountered God and will obey his will.” [pp.20-21]
IV. WE NEED A SHEPHERD WHO HAS THE SPIRIT OF GOD (27:18)
The Spirit of God within a shepherd gives the wisdom of God, and there is no divine quality more needful than that. Wisdom, of course, is not the most spectacular of the Spirit’s gifts, but it is what God’s shepherd needs most.
God’s Spirit of wisdom sculpts the heart of God’s shepherd through Scripture. You who are learning to study Scripture, pay heed to this: it is not your hermeneutics and exegesis that will ultimately make you an effective shepherd for God. It will be that Scripture is on your lips, that Scripture permeates your mind and your prayers, and that Scripture shapes your behavior. That is the only possible way we can be wise enough to shepherd God’s people.
V. WE NEED A SHEPHERD WHO UNFAILINGLY INQUIRES OF THE LORD IN LEADING GOD’S PEOPLE (27:21)
So many decisions shepherds face in leading God’s people are more complex than that. We do our best to sift the issues through the pages of Scripture, through our experience as believers, through what our gut tells us.
My observation is that when we pray through to a clear answer God takes all we’ve thought about and gives it order. Not only does the decision become clear, but hearts become settled. There is a holy elegance and peace that confirms the wisdom of inquiring of the Lord.
Plus, by making this our practice, by inquiring of God unfailingly, shepherds are reminded again and again that this is God’s flock, God’s organization, God’s endeavor. The LORD’s name is on the door. No matter how wise we might be, the LORD always wants the last word.
Most importantly and obviously, Jesus Christ is our Good Shepherd. Matt 9:36 says, “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” Jesus tells us in Jn 10:11, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” Then he says it again in v.14, “I am the good shepherd; I know my
Keep pointing people who are “prone to wander” toward their true home in Christ and in heaven.
o Pray for their care, no matter how they treat you. Pray that you will have the shepherd they need.
o Lead them out to claim the promises of God, and safely in to the fold of Jesus.
o Do nothing without God’s Spirit of wisdom, always attuned to God’s Word.
o Unfailingly inquire of the Lord about each decision. Be wise and thoughtful. Use your head and your Bible. But do not proceed without getting God’s direction.
• Finally, one more conclusion: The LORD’s people must follow their shepherd. Most importantly, we must follow Jesus. Later, after Moses died and Joshua become the leader of Israel, the Israelites said to him in Josh 1:16, “Whatever you have commanded us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go.”
That is what we must say to Jesus, our Good Shepherd.
Dr. Tim Laniak, a professor at Gordon-Conwell Seminary, interviewed a Bedouin shepherd in Jordan a few years ago.
Q. How many sheep and goats do you have?
A. 2000. I have the biggest flock in this area…
Q. How many [sheep and goats] did you start with?
A. I began with one in 1984. And I still know every one of them. They are like family to me.
Q. With that many, you still know every one of them?
A. Yes. I am with the flocks every day. Although I have homes in the village, I stay out here with them during the summer [migration]. I must personally supervise the care of the sheep or I shouldn't be a shepherd…It's a thing of the soul; it's not a business.
Q. Have you ever lost any sheep?
A. Yes, but I always looked for the ones that were lost until I found them–alive or dead. There is only one sheep that I couldn't find and it still bothers me every day.
Q. How long would it take to teach me to be a good shepherd?
A. Do you have the heart for it?
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