Up, please!

We’re trying to teach Mya “please” and “thank you” these days. It’s been a progression from teaching her to raise her hands in the air, to say “up!” and now to suffix a “please” when she wants to be picked up. She’s caught on but not without a few weeks of resistance. Oh child, if only you knew the power of these magic words!

“Up please!”

“Ok Mya!” And she’s elevated off the ground into our arms.

I’ve forgotten the beauty of this seemingly mundane action until I was reminded by Tenth Avenue North at a concert recently.

**

Arthur, Min and I went to the Chris Tomlin and Tenth Avenue North concert at Willow Creek on Friday night. It was our first outing without Mya in the last few months, thanks to Gina for baby-sitting. Even though I was a sick puppy, my soul was well nourished; and I left a bigger fan of these brothers in Christ than I was entering.

It was good and necessary to be reminded of God’s majesty, splendor, greatness, love and grace. How easily the human mind forgets – 

the God of angel armies is for us and who shall be against us; 

His hands that hold the stars also hold our weak feeble hearts; 

the staggering grace when His love ran red so our sins can be washed white; and that 

He loves us, He loves us, He loves us.

These are truths I know in my head, and have somehow made small overtime in my heart. God knew what I needed to be shaken out of my bird brain and chicken heart.

Back to the subject at hand, Tenth Avenue North had us raise our hands during one of their songs. Mike said (something to this effect), “We’re not raising our hands to show off or anything. We’re raising our hands because this is what a child does when he/she wants to be picked up by his/her father.”

Yes Heavenly Daddy, Up please!

**

May I not forget that I am that little child wanting and needing to be picked up by my Heavenly Father, each time I see Mya’s eyes looking up expectantly at me.

May I know the tenderness that God has for me, that is a million times more than what I feel towards Mya in my best moment. And at my worst, let me not take for granted Mya’s dependence and affection, and always treasure this beauty that will not last forever.

May I always be that little child being dependent on the Father, coming to Jesus and living in the Spirit always. God, up please!

Up please!

Goodbye my friend

I’ve putting off this blog post for some time. Because it is hard to believe that he is gone. I am jealous of the memories that we shared and had, and it is almost as if I’m giving a piece of me to share them with another…

My friendship with Jung-Min started almost a decade ago, in the summer of 2006. We were both sent to Beijing by Thomson Reuters to set up the data operations center there, alongside many others. It was a unique season.

In our first weekend there, we explored the ancient city together. I remember sizing up this big Korean guy and wondered if he was “any good”.

To my delight, I found that he liked to eat and talk, did not mind me getting us lost and was married. I knew then that this friend was a keeper.

Plus, he was really easy to please. For him, ordinary food tasted great, great cuisine tasted “ this is AMAZING!” and amazing delicacies were “this is AWESOME!” Food always tasted better around him. Even 10 years later, he still talked about the noodles we had for our very first hotpot together. He is such sentimental person who takes great delight in simple things.

Living in the same service apartment, taking cabs to and from work, working out and hanging out with Min and Erin daily was good fun. There is never a shortage of good stories from him and with him.

Very early on, Min made it his mission to chaperone my love life. He would often ask “Do you have a boyfriend?” I would always say “no” and he would look like a sad puppy. And then he would ask again a few days later. I guess things tend to happen fast with him.  

Finally, one day I said to him, “maybe.. would you like to vet him for me?” He looked like he hit the jackpot. And of course the rest is history.

Some might have questioned my wisdom in asking Min, coz he’s not the most disagreeable person. But I knew he loved me as a friend. That’s enough, and he clearly did right by me. J  

Min was so generous with us. Be it over-ordering at every meal, paying for many expensive meals (Peter Luger, Trump Towers, Carmichael steak, Korean), treating our families even when we were not there sometimes (in Beijing, New Jersey and Chicago), buying us our first grill and keurig, etc. We all created so many fun memories together.. Even Medieval times!

Working alongside him in TR and Morningstar over the last 10 years was great. He was my best friend at work. I’ve not had one before him, and I’m not sure I will have another one after him, and I don’t know if I ever want another.

We were confidantes, honest with each other, always wanting the best for each other, always having each other’s back. He was my advocate during the early turbulent months of transition to M*, and taught me how precious it is that Jesus is my advocate.

He was also a wild card and it’s hard to predict what would come out of his mouth. I affectionately say, “he asked the most inappropriate questions” and say the “darnest things”.

He had this positive energy that was infectious, and everything was a “can-do-it” with him, no matter how difficult the task at hand was, even when he was fighting his epic battle with MDS.

Another precious yet difficult memory is reading “Reason for God” with and talking to him about faith over lunches. It was hard for a “good person like him” to believe that God will not allow him to heaven, or his “all-inclusive attitude” to accept that that there is only one straight and narrow path.

It is heartbreaking to know that though he understood the Gospel, he could not accept it; and that meant that there will always be a division between us when it came down to what mattered most.

He welcomed and found comfort in our prayers, when we processed the difficult news about his health over the last 2 years. I pray pray pray hard that somehow Jesus got through to him during those times. That in the deepest place of his heart, even when he could not longer speak, he had cried out to Jesus and accepted Him as Lord and Savior. Please Jesus, please?

I heard this song for the first time in church today. I’m not able to share the hope in this song with him when he was alive, I just hope that somehow, this is true for him in eternity. This might be another song I’d like for my funeral some day…

I miss you Min, very very very much. I love you, dear friend. Goodbye…