Happy Birthday Jesus!

 Christmas devotion shared at our LIFE Group Christmas party this year, based on Matthew 1. 

We will focus on the genealogy of Jesus, especially the first 6 verses; and I want to draw out 3 observations for us.

The first is that Jesus is not ashamed of where He came from or His family tree.

Many of us will spend time with our extended family this Christmas. And some of us have extended family who are far away. No matter where they are or how we are connecting with them this Christmas season – in person or virtually, our family can remind us of everything that we love about them, and everything that frustrates us about them. And when we go further back into our family tree, there are probably ancestors that we are so proud of and we talk about them often; and other stories that we would rather bury or dirty laundry that we wish we could wash clean – and I’m not talking about the laundry in the laundry basket..

When we look at Jesus’ family tree documented for us here, we see that there are both characters too. We start strong at the beginning with Matthew pointing out that Jesus is the son of David. David, who is man after God’s own heart and Israel’s best king in the OT, or Abraham – father of faith, and we have Isaac, Jacob, Solomon a wise king, Hezekiah and Josiah who were godly kings…

But yet, there are also unsavory characters and stories even for the best of them. We have evil kings like Ahaz.. Or Solomon who was born out of his father David’s adultery. Or the interesting reference to Judah, son of Jacob – who is hardly the most stellar son that Jacob had, and who committed incest with his daughter in law.

In this genealogy, we see the good and the bad. The names that stir pride and also the names that we would rather sweep under the rug and never be spoken of again. Yet here they are, recorded in Holy Scripture. They were not “conveniently” left out of history books. All of them in the line of Jesus the Messiah. He is not ashamed of where He came from nor His family tree. My encouragement to all of us here is that not even Jesus had the perfect family or pristine pedigree, and we do not have to carry the weight or shame of not having the “picture perfect family”.

The second observation is the idea that God writes straight with crooked lines.

This quote is sometimes attributed to St. Teresa of Avila – “God writes straight with crooked lines”. It is hard to miss that there are only a few women mentioned here in this genealogy. But the fact that they were, is highly significant especially in the patriarchal society during that time.

Tamar married such a wicked man that the Lord put him to death. Then her brother in law did wrong by her by not willing to give her a son, and was also put to death by the Lord. And her father-in-law sent her away back to her family, and then slept with her not knowing that it was her. Being widowed twice, disgraced and betrayed by her family.. Yet she persevered to do what is right, and through her bold righteous act that Perez was born.

And then there is Rahab the prostitute who lived in Jericho when the spies came to check out the city. What was her life like that forced her into prostitution? How might she have felt hearing about a holy God coming to take her city, when her life was reeked with sin. She risked her life to hide the spies, pleaded for salvation and was spared when her city was conquered. And so she lived in the city that she grew up in, amongst the people who attacked it.

And there’s Ruth, the Moabite who did not know God growing up, entered an “unequally yoked marriage” and was widowed at a young age. She stuck by her bitter mother-in-law Naomi, left her people and went to live in a foreign land and amongst a people she did not know. Through Boaz’s kindness and redemption, she got grafted into the line of the Messiah and became King David’s great grandmother.

Last but not least, Bathsheba who was only referred to as Uriah’s wife. She was taken by the king, witness the king plotting her husband’s death to cover up his sin, married her husband’s murderer and endured the death of her child.

They all had different stories, endured much twists and turns in their lives – grief, sorrow, brokenness, sin they committed and wrong done to them. They were viewed as property in their time, foreigners and unworthy to be associated with God’s holy people. Yet through their broken crooked lives, God wrote a straight line to His Son. There is no one too far, no life too broken, no situation too dire; for God to redeem and bring beauty out of ashes. This is the God we worship and who is still at work in our lives and the lives of the people we know today.

The last observation is that our God knows the unknown and lives amongst the lowly.

We have talked about many of the well known names so far. But there are many other names in the genealogy whose names we hardly know and whose stories we do not know about. Yet they are here, their names in the Holy Scriptures, passed down from generation to generation.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve often struggled with the desire to be known, to be heard and seen. I want to matter, invite me to the table, ask me my opinion.. And in today’s social media age, it is easy to satiate that through Facebook or Tik Tok or Snapchat or whatever platform to have our 5 minutes of fame. Look at me, listen to me, because I matter!

But yet through these unknown names by man and history, our Lord came. He knows each one of them by name, and each of them matters to them. And so this is my encouragement to us – that when you ever wonder if you matter, if you are known. Know that the Lord knows you. He sees you and hears you. He has your name written in His name and in His Book of Life. And that is what matters most.

And bringing it back to the birth of Jesus.. Our Lord came quietly to the town of Bethlehem to be born in a lowly manger. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him. Nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him. He lived as a carpenter, gentle and lowly in spirit.  

We have been studying the beatitudes this year. Blessed are the poor in spirit, the ones who mourn, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness – so it is my prayer that as we look to the new year, this is the place we will start – celebrating the humble birth of our king, and seeking to be like Him.

40 years today!

“Our days may come to seventy years or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass and we fly away... Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom... Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” Psalm 90:10-14

God willing, the second half of my life is just about to begin. I am thankful to Him for shaping this blob of miry clay, to who she is today. Still lots of molding and chiseling to do, but He has done a mighty work in me in the last 40 years – and for that I want to praise Him with joy.

From my early childhood years of not knowing my Creator, He used Sunday School to show Himself to me. From a girl who was prone to steal and lie, the Holy Spirit used guilt to convict me of sin and my need for His light in my darkness. From a school girl standing by a pond, He gave me a yearning for the eternal – that there is “no point”, if this life was all there is.

From one who shocked herself at what her unchecked rage can make her do – scratch up her sister with broken glass and sweep things off her table; He showed me how ugly and depraved I could be, a danger to others and myself. From a teenager who struggled with body image and so many insecurities – He showed me that He is the One who makes me beautiful. From an adult sitting in a cab in Beijing all by herself in a city where no one knows her, He became my defining reality and sufficiency.

He redeemed my broken heart, and gave me Arthur. He brought me to a foreign land to teach me lessons that I would not have learnt otherwise. He deepened my understanding and faith through Trinity and the lives of the spiritual giants I get to hear from. He made me a mother to Mya and Elliot, and showed me what an abounding-in-love Heavenly Father I have. He made me learn forgiveness, and how Jesus paid it all. He blessed me with an imperfect church that I love and community. He entrusted me with responsibilities at church and at work, at such a time as this. He continues to bless me with my MooMoo who speaks blunt truth to my heart like no one else does, and my parents whom I pray I can love better in person than from afar.

Some women, when they reach 40 say that they are finally “comfortable in their own skin”. I think I can say that on most days… It’s not because I have reached a state of perpetual contentment (I wish!). But when His Word is my truth, He knows and loves me for who I am, He defines me; it has all been said and done. I just pray that I will continue to abide in Him, keep my eyes on Him, serve Him and live for Him… May He help me stay faithful and true to Him, and ready me to meet Him face to face when that day comes.  

Christian Liberty and Masking Up

"What would Jesus do? Would He wear a mask in church today?" Mom asked as dinner wrapped up last night. The desired response in the context of the conversation would have been "Yes! He would! For the love of His neighbor and the weaker brother/ sister, He would!"

Pondering some more, I'm not sure He would... Because no virus could infect Him, nor could He carry the virus to another... He would have rid the virus for anyone around Him! I might not even wear a mask if Jesus is in church today; might not, need not, would not!

BUT Jesus has not yet returned. He has not yet established His decisive rule. So destruction, death and disease still runs rampant. And if WWJD is not a helpful question in this context, what should one do? Debate, divide and sow discord? I pray not! Even though the Bible is NOT explicit about Covid per say, biblical principles might be helpful. These are a few of our family's thoughts and are meant to be descriptive rather than prescriptive. 

These passages have guided most of our thought process - 

• Romans 13:1 "Let everyone be subject to governing authorities" 
• 1 Cor 9:19 -22 "Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some...
• 1 Cor 10:31-33 "so whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble... For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved."

1. We decided as a family to adopt CDC guidelines in this area, since they are the authorities in public health.. So when they issued the new guidance a few weeks back, we decided to try our best to adopt it. Emphasis on try. Even though exemptions have been given to houses of worship in the States, this is not the case for most countries. If not for the politics behind separation of state and church in the US, may we gladly be subject to governing authorities in this matter since it does not contradict with our core beliefs.

2. Serving in children's ministry, all of the kids are not vaccinated. Even though not all of them are wearing masks and we are vaccinated, we wanted to do our little bit to not risk infecting them.

3. Masks wearers are a minority in the church, and we wanted to help anyone who felt more comfortable wearing masks to not be overly self conscious - that there are others who wear masks too! I have to admit that it has not always been easy, there is some peer pressure when the majority are not wearing masks.

4. The vaccination rate in Cook County is fairly low (around 50%), and that's probably not too far from where the congregation vaccination rate is. In light of this, for the protection of both the vaccinated and unvaccinated, it might be a wise and loving thing to use the means of masks, to do what we can to not contribute to the spread of the virus broadly.

5. For the medical professionals among our family and friends, for whom the battle with Covid is a daily reality... And for many other families who have suffered from or lost loved ones to Covid... This is just a very small way of showing solidarity.

6.  I do think there is Christian liberty here, and if there is, how shall we use our liberty? Why not use the freedom to wear masks instead of not wearing masks? Why not use the freedom to do the less comfortable thing for oneself?

Christians have differed on so many issues throughout the centuries - from eschatology to baptism, from women's role in ministry to dress code... And where there are differences in the non-essential issues; we have debated thoughtfully, listened to each other carefully, and agreed to disagree gracefully. We stand united in the core tenants of our faith, and accept differences in interpretations and preferences. Vaccinations and masking up, these may have to be among such issues. For some, this may be where the rubber meets the road. 

At the end of the day, the brother who is not vaccinated is still my brother in Christ. The sister who is masking up is still my sister in Christ. Nothing is more fundamental than how I view him or her - bought with the precious blood of Christ.  We may have landed on different sides on this, but it will be the plank in my eye that I have to remove, if I cannot move past this speck of saw-dust in theirs. Nothing will threaten our unity in Christ, nor inhibit us from worshipping together. Nothing shall separate us, for God has joined us as One as the Bride of Christ.

For where I seek to love my neighbor in masking up, I must also seek to love my neighbor when they have a different perspective. And "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (1 Cor 13:4-8)

13 years of our story in His Story

We were strangers, starting out on a journey.
Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through
Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing. At the beginning with you

The last 13 years of journeying went by in the blink of an eye. Starting in Raycom Building ZGC, Beijing 15 years ago to Barrington IL. We went from strangers in a foreign land, to getting more accustomed to doing domestic life together. Striving for each day in parenting, serving one another while anticipating how the other would predictably respond and “fighting cleaner”. I love going through the million little small things in life with you and learning how to help one another be a better spouse. I love standing at the beginning of each day with you. 

No one told me, I was going to find you. Unexpected, what you did to my heart

When I lost hope, you were there to remind me. This is the start 

 It is not easy to find “our people” and much less “my person”. I am grateful how closely God knits our hearts and minds together. It is through the million little small and big conversations that I know, there is no one else on earth who sees and knows my heart as clearly as you. Be it navigating big topics like diversity, church and politics, the medium ones like our cross cultural marriage, parenting and navigating future dreams across geographies or the daily minutia of scheduling and my walks in the parks... Your Christ-centeredness, humility and TGC and wiki-pedia of a mind sharpens me.  


And life is a road that I wanna keep going. Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning. I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing. At the beginning with you

And through God’s active hand, we’re standing at the beginning of yet another cross-road, albeit a familiar looking one. There may be human wounds we sustained and human responsibility we must bear, but I trust God’s good sovereign hand in this. Even as you put our family first and view your highest calling to lead a quiet faithful life unto the Lord, my prayer is for you to use all the gifts that our good Father has so richly endowed you with to His glory and pleasure. That like Eric Liddell, you can say of your gift “God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.” Not for people nor unto man, but for Him. And I am so glad to be standing at the beginning of this journey with you.


We were strangers, on a crazy adventure. 

Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future. At the beginning with you

Happy Anniversary to my favorite fellow pilgrim and best friend! 13 years in and there is no one else I'd rather be making this journey with - with the twisty turns, speed bumps, uphill climbs, trudging through the desert, cruising by the coasts, riding through the plains and sometimes just being able to see the next step.
Thank you for talking life through with me, and readying me for the Day I will stand before Higher Throne! I love you, very very very much!

Further up and Further in!

To wrap up the Narnia series, this long overdue post will help me remember some of my favorite moments in the last few books. Thank you C.S Lewis for capturing my imagination, wrapping me up in a reality that is truer than the one that I’m living in, feeding my mind and giving my heart a yearning for what is most worthy to be longed for than all the desires in this world. I look forward to meeting you some day in the new Narnia!

The Silver Chair

“I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia.”

“Suppose... suppose we have only dreamed and made up these things like sun, sky, stars, and moon, and Aslan himself. In that case, it seems to me that the made-up things are a good deal better than the real ones. And if this black pits of a kingdom is the best you can make, then it's a poor world. And we four can make a dream world to lick your real one hollow.”

“Aslan didn't tell Pole what would happen. He only told her what to do. That fellow will be the death of us once he's up, I shouldn't wonder. But that doesn't let us off following the signs.”

 

The Horse and his boy

“Onward and Upward! To Narnia and the North!”

“But as long as you know you're nobody special, you'll be a very decent sort of Horse, on the whole, and taking one thing with another.”

"I was the lion who forced you to join with Avaris. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you."

 

The Last Battle

“She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she'll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that age.”

“Well done, last of the Kings of Narnia, who stood firm at the darkest hour.”

"I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now...Come further up, come further in!"

Price Caspian & The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

I’ve been delightfully wrapped up in the world of Narnia, as I read the C.S Lewis classic to Mya and Elliot. Maybe it’s reading aloud, maybe it’s because I’m older, maybe it’s because I know the Bible better; the chronicles have become all the more precious, rich, layered and haunting at the same time. The stories hearken truths in the Scripture,  the words serve their purpose in the book but also point us to the meta reality – beyond Narnia, beyond England, beyond the reader’s world to the heavenly city in Aslan’s country. 

Just as Aslan said to Edmund at the end of “The Voyager of the Dawn Treader” - “This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.” Lewis has accomplished this purpose in spades. 

***

Here are 2 of my favorite moments in Price Caspian. 

“Aslan" said Lucy "you're bigger".

"That is because you are older, little one" answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”

Lucy has in fact grown bigger. Yet in God’s grace, Aslan seemed so much bigger. Aslan is the same, but Lucy now has clearer eyes to see. For as a child, we see as a child. The same could not be said for Peter, Susan and Edmund; who did not see Aslan initially. There were blinders in their eyes. The effect of age for one, grew eyes of faith to see how much greater God truly is; and yet for another, caused blindness and failure to see Him for who He truly is.

May I find you bigger with each year I grow Lord, and have eyes to see You for who You are.

**

“Hush!” said the other four, for now Aslan had stopped and turned and stood facing them, looking so majestic that they felt as glad as anyone can who feels afraid, and as afraid as anyone can who feels glad. … Then, after an awful pause, the deep voice said, “Susan…. You have listened to fears, child,: said Asland. “Come, let me breathe on you. Forget them Are you brave again?”

“And now, where is this little Dwarf, this famous swordsman and archer, who doesn’t believe in lions?” .. Aslan pounced. Have you ever seen a young kitten being carried in the mother cat’s mouth?

The dwarf flew up in the air. He was as safe as if he had been in bed, though he did not feel so. As he came down, the huge velvety paws caught him as gently as a mother's arms, and set him -- right way up, too -- on the ground.
"Son of Earth, shall we be friends?" asked Aslan.
"Ye-- uh, Yes," panted the dwarf, for he had not yet got his breath back.”

Susan throughout their journey to Aslan’s How refused to believe Aslan was with them and guiding them. She insisted on following her instincts and conventional wisdom, throwing shade on Lucy many a times. Trumpkin the Dwarf on the other hand, did not and refused to believe that Aslan is real and exists. Towards both, I shook my head many a times – “wait till you finally see Aslan! You will have your reckoning!”

Aslan’s reaction caught me offguard. And once again I was humbled and broken by grace. Aslan did not call them to account, not a chiding remark, not a single word about how wrong they have been. He just embraced them, helped them move past themselves towards a restored relationship with him. How foreign grace is to those who want justice, how little did I understand grace. Is He really that good?

 

***

I have been surprised how The Voyage of the Dawn Treader has captured my heart and imagination so deeply. Watching the motion movie for the first time might have something to do with it. But I think it’s because life is more like a journey with many twists and turns, ups and downs; than having everything lead up to that one epic confrontation or climactic battle. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader's pacing might be atypical and odd at first read, but then you find yourself reliving the journey many times after you close the book.  

**

“But who is Aslan? Do you know him?"
"Well-he knows me," said Edmund. "He is the great Lion, the son of the Emperor-beyond-the-Sea, who saved me and saved Narnia.” …

“Then the lion said – but I don't know if it spoke – You will have to let me undress you. I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

"The very first tear he made was so deep and I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know – if you've ever picked the scab of a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.”

What a profound picture of the process of sanctification. Eustace became a dragon after having dragonish thoughts over treasure, he became what his heart treasured and he could not “un-dragon” himself. It is him surrendering to Aslan, letting Aslan do his work on him, that his scales were finally peeled away. And so it is for us - that Jesus has to come and peel away the idols that has enslaved us.

**

“Where sky and water meet. Where the waves grow sweet. Doubt not, Reepicheep, to find all you seek, there is the utter east.” …

“This,” said Reepicheep, “is where I go on alone.”.. Then he took off his sword (“I shall need it no more, “ he said) and flung it far away across the lilied sea…. Then he bade them goodbye, trying to be sad for their sakes; but he was quivering with happiness.

Throughout the voyage, Reepicheep had one goal – to go to Aslan’s country. He thought of it night and day, he sang of it, he would not be deterred even if he had to paddle and go on alone in his little coracle. All he wanted to do was to go to Aslan’s country. Oh, the joy he had when he finally found it! He threw off his trusty sword that accompanied him on many battles, despite the “unknown territory”, for he knew there was no more fighting in Aslan’s country. As much as he loved his friends, he was ready to leave them all behind; for all his life’s longing is now to be fulfilled before him.

I must confess that I’ve had many thoughts about what it would be like to walk through the valley of the shadow of death – there is some fear and trepidation and unshakable dread. On good days, the hope and joy of heaven and seeing Jesus helps lift the dark clouds away. But this noble little mouse, this little mouse with a lion’s heart, has challenged my love and longing for heaven. Perhaps, if my life’s goal and true longing is to go to be place where Jesus has prepared for us; perhaps, I might quiver with happiness as I take my final breath.  

***

Most people who know me, know that I love happy endings. But it's not just about happy endings, it is about certain, definite, sure, happy endings. When Aslan appears, the fight is over. There is certain victory. Light will triumph, darkness does not stand a chance. There is no faltering with my Hero from Heaven, He has won decisively and triumphantly. So why not happy endings?  

Happy Birthday Elliot!

 

Dearest Elliot, 

Happy birthday! How is it that you are 5 already? What a fun day we've had with friends dropping by for a quick visit, just to celebrate you. We hope you know how blessed you are by God, the friends He has given you is just a small glimpse of that. 

You have grown in so many ways this past year. Learning to sound out letters, ride your bike and scooter, roller blade, swim, memorize verses, use the Ipad (that did not take long) and more. 

It makes me smile to see you enjoying books - My Father's Dragon, Mr Popper's Penguin, The Wild Robot and the many superhero books from the library; your superhero knowledge vault has quadrupled in size this year! I love that you share some of my favorite foods - pandan cake, orh-nee pancake and squid, to name a few. It tickles me that you cannot stop trying long words like "Anti-disestablishmentarianism" (this is probably the first time i've ever typed the word), supercalifragilisticexpelidocious, Tiki-tiki-tambo-no-sar-rambo-chari-bari-ruchee-pik-peri-pambo. I love to see you at ninja class, battle with Daddy, batting balls in the playroom and running laps around the kitchen. It makes me so proud to hear you talking to your teachers, friends, doctors, adults, anyone really. I love how you play with Mya - in fair weather, rain or snow, dance to Dyanamite and Imitator Tots. It's cute how taken you are with Reepicheep. I love your cheeky grin, smile and spirit. I love you!

And it is in love, that I hope and pray. That God will choose you, save you, justify you, sanctify you and use you. That God will make you know Him, love Him, fear Him, serve Him and enjoy Him. That God will bless you with wisdom and many talents, to be His light and hands and feet in this world, serving others. That God will mold you in His likeness, and be a man of integrity and noble character. That God will give you a love for His Word, that you will meditate on it day and night, and be like the tree planted by streams of water, yielding fruit for the Lord in season. That He will keep you from evil and harm (Psalm 1). For this year specifically, I pray that God will give self control - over your anger and tame the tiger that is crouching at the door by His strength; over your desire for screen time and discover the world He has given you; and over your physical impulses.

You have also grown me and are growing me in many ways. To not sweat the scribbles on the wall, not blink twice at the messes and not balk at the food, mud, clothes, soap or what-have-you trails that you leave behind; yet, how do I train you to be responsible? To find beauty in the blue tornados you draw. To trust God when you fall, fracture your pinky or need stitches on your chin; I'm still trying to learn how to raise a boy to be wild and safe. To get to know your quirks and triggers for you are uniquely made - when you are not saying what you would do; I can't discipline you like i discipline Mya can I? To stop working and spend time with you, for these moments do not last forever. You show me every day God's steadfast love, and grow me every day as I think about our Father's love for us. 

I am humbled that God would entrust you with Daddy and me. I cannot wait to see the many ways God will grow you and me this coming year. I love you, son. Happy 5th birthday!