I've been feeling lost of late.
Maybe it's mid-life crisis - hitting the mid 40s and realizing that I'm halfway to meeting my maker and wondering if I've lived the life that He wanted me to. Maybe it's prolonged naval gazing and taking eyes off my Jesus, my family and my neighbor for far too long - not spending enough time digging deep into His Word and relationships. Maybe it's discontentment or the 7 year itch and almost time for change.
And so I've been circling around the "Should I do my Executive MBA?" question. If it's the learning, there are other ways to learn. If it's the option to do something different in the future, that's kicking the can down the road. If it's just to check the box, why do I want to check that box? At the end of the day, that's really a mask for "What do I want to do with my life?" Where do I want to be in 10 years? What are my gifts? What problems do I want to be solving? What is my Why?
The chief end of man is to enjoy God and glorify Him forever.
But how I ask
There is no answer.
Make disciples of all nations, feed my sheep, shine like lights.
But who and where I wonder
What if I don't want that enough
Am I to stay put forever.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and ye shall find
I'm asking and seeking Lord
Please answer.
I know I'm Yours and You know me
But what does this mean
Does anything else matter
Am I to just be content regardless
Is it always in the striving, and never the arriving
Is this me or is this you
I can hide behind my list of to-do's and do the next thing
I can skim the surface
But a part of me is seeking and yearning
It's time to dig deep.
What is my why?
A house and a yard is far too small
The next weekend?
Fun at the next vacation is short lived
A certain rhythm of life but to what end
It's not a certain job or title
I'd like to make a difference
I'd like to lead and inspire
But who am I that I should matter
All is naught if the Lord is not at the center
Who is my why?
Mya, Elliot and Arthur
My family in Singapore and here
The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit
The church and my neighbor
Perhaps that's where my energy is better spent
To seek my why not in what but who
To spend my energy building relationships that matter
He must increase and I decrease too
For the chief end of man is to enjoy God and glorify Him forever.
