True Balance

It is so hard to find balance in my life. True Balance is ideal. Of work, kids, exercise, husband, and fun. I can only say one thing. This is a daily reproach to finding balance. I need time for myself, so that I can enjoy my kids to the fullest. I can't imagine being with them 24 hours a day, and being a good Mom. Bless the mothers that can. But not me. I need a break. It may be a workout. It may be an hour of vegging out in front of the tv after the kids go down, and before I wander to slumberland.

If I get that.I am a better Mom. I sware to you. My kids enjoy me more, and well I enjoy them more. I crave the weekends. When I know the schedule slows down, and I can plan activities with the kids. Not rush to get out of bed, get both kids to school and daycare and still arrive to work at 730 on time. Weekends...this is sleeeping in and making a huge breakfast of eggs and bacon and Jake's favorite is Mickey Mouse Pancakes for the kids. FAMILY NAP time! Need I say more. We always have something going on that is fun.

I have learned that when Ben really enjoys something I am doing with him or taking him somewhere, he stops to say, Mom....Mom...listen.. I love you! I mean that melts me. That is his way of saying Thanks for being AWESOME MOM! I love it.

Ok, and sometimes I don't have that balance. Patience is on this short stick, where I start yelling and then stop, thinking I should slap myself for losing it. Whining from the kids. OH man, that gets to me. Jonna is a pro. It often can make me snap. And not pretty. Little girls have some drama!! I think God has another son in my future. Although, the tenderness from sweet Baby Jonna and that hug she gives me when she thinks I have a sad face....Well, i can't live without.

Two nights ago, I had a perfect blog post of "true balance" all written up there between my ears. About finding it, and sharing it. Today, I still strive for it. It's a friday, and I am Stoked about walking out these doors at 430pm and starting my weekend. I have put in a good 9 hours. Worked out, ran some errands, and it's time to celebrate with my kids. Well, it starts with a parent teacher conference with Ben, but following that, I am taking my butterfly and cowboy to enjoy time with Grandma Deena, Trunk or treat, and eat some really good chili and soup!

Then sleepy time with both kids and a favorite saturday morn, we will wake to Jake getting home from work!

Sunday, Coach Kusick work out!

A gold standard

Throughout the years, I have grown, mentally and emotionally as a mother and a wife. But I have also grown physically. I have a long way to go. But there are a few things that just make me downright giddy.

Vitamins/Supplements/Natural Remedies
Put me in a health food store, and it's like putting a kid in a candy store. A new one opened up close to our house, and I am in love! I could spend hours searching and reading about supplements and remedies. That is why I love Iherb.com so much because I can also read other reviews and its a one stop shop! I was joking with Jake the other night saying, one day when we are rich I will go shopping in one of the health food stores and buy whatever my little heart desires...............Better yet, we should just buy one.

Has anyone heard of using silver? As an antiviral, antibacterial supplement. Go ahead try it. We have used it for our two kids in just the last two weeks and I seriously feel it has kept us from filling yet another antibiotic. You should have seen what it has done for healing my daughters five stitched scar she had two weeks ago. Jake's family has used it for years. Gosh! What took me so long?!

How amazing is it to find supplements that are solutions vs. using drugs that only treat symptoms. And vitamins make you healthy. My Gold Standard: I live for quality and longevity. I do it for my family. I want to be 70 playing soccer with my grandkids.

I want to do this:

In perfect form with that much weight. Why does this excite me, because it is something that you won't likely see too much from a woman and well, i think it just looks downright amazing.

Reading other's adventures: is exciting. I came accross this blog from reading another friends blog in her strive for health. As many people know, we hope to have another child sometime down the road. My kids excite me. Having another child that is half me/half Jake excites me. Currently, I feel I am stronger than ever, and I have worried that a future pregnancy is going to put me back to where I was a year ago. But reading about her experience as a pregnant Mother, doing lifts at 22 weeks pregnant, is just simply amazing. I worked out during both previous pregnancies, but it was simple. Eliptical and arms. Hardly anything else. So, i may be able to do more than I thought when the time comes. As long as my body tells me when to stop. I stop.

Tazo Zen Tea excites me. I drink this and seriously think about all the little antioxidants swimming around in my blood keeping me healthy from long term diseases. Weird? I think not.

Someone is looking out for me ^! Life is good. There is so much in life that is exciting. Now some days, my hormones will tell you that everything sucks, but really all is grand in the Holee Realm.

Ask my kids....Halloween excites them at this current moment. We have two trunk or treats, two parties, and the finale of trick or treatin in our neighborhood. Sugar highs here we come!

Another day in the life.....

Sitting pretty with her babies! She wanted to make sure they were in the picture too.

This is another of Ben and Mugsy's wrestling matches. Mugsy still seems to win most the time, but you can't say Ben doesn't try.

the count is six

What count? The number of visits, the Holees' have now made it to the ER. We are going on 1 for each year of age. 4 for Ben. And this past weekend made number 2 for Jonna. I have said this before, they don't get any easier.
Jake and I were at a wedding, when he got the call that Jonna had fallen asleep on the couch at Grandma's and fell off and hit her head on the coffee table. Five stitches later, she now has a matching scar to her brother's incident from last year.



Three hours in the ER and a very traumatic five stiches for Jonna, she is good as new. It doesn't hurt her now, but she is very concerned about it and let's everyone know of her knew found "owie".

So, my first question asked to myself, is WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME AS A PARENT that my kids get hurt so much and we end up in the emergency room?!! I am so thankful, none of these visits have been more than small cuts, burns, bumps, or bruises, but MAN! This isn't getting easier. So, my theory is that God is getting all of this out of the way early, OR my biggest fear, is that he is preparing me for what may come in the future. AGHHHHHHH!

The worst part of being a parent is to see your children hurt. The best part is to be there for them to make them better. The details of my baby strapped to a board to constrain her while she had her head sewed up are horrible. The good part is she won't remember it. The bad part of it is, I will never forget it. I don't know who needed the other more after they unstrapped her. Me wanting to hold her, or her wanting to hold me. There is a reason why my husband is a Fireman, EMT, and schooling to be a Paramedic. God realized I needed a husband and the kids needed a father that had "trauma" training. LOL!

I fell in love with Jake for his sensitivity, his big heart, and being my caretaker. Truth is he is tough, but is overall a big teddy bear. And dang it, Mama needs him in times like these more than any other. I don't have it figured out, but God does. He knew long before Jake and I had kids, that he was the man for me. To stand beside the ER bed, rubbing my back and calming me as he rubbed Jonna's arm and talk to her AND me reassuring it would be all over soon. The worst part about this is, you can't be weak, when your babies, hurt. You have to hold it together. They see you are scared, and it makes them more scared. This one was pretty darn hard.


Moral of this story: I can't help but be so thankful. For my kids and my husband. Thank God for it not being worse than it could have been. And thanks to him for giving me the reminders of how blessed I am to have Jake as my husband, and two healthy, 'active' children. And sometimes, life is tough, but there is always an upside!

Like, this.

Ben comes home from school on Friday, and I look in his folder in his book bag to find this.

I knew it was something specific. And I let him know how proud I was of him for it, but then asked.... as any parent would do that really had no clue what the picture was. "Ben, tell me about it." He pointed to the red figure and said, "Mom, that is you!" Pointed to the black and yellow one, and said "This one is me. We are power rangers together. You are the red one and I am the black and yellow one!"
Well, why couldn't I see that. This put tears in my eyes. My son thinks I am a super hero with him. Oh, man I love these kids!

Ponies, Pumpkins, and Pullups!

We went to the Pumpkin Festival over the weekend! Jonna wouldn't go on the pony with me. But when Papa Doug showed up, she was ready to hop on! Thanks Doug and Ginger (the pony)!

No fear Ben took two pony rides all by himself. He rode on BERT the first time and Socks the second. On our way leaving there were actual horse rides, which of course I saw after I ran out of money. Ben was begging to ride a horse like a cowboy! We will have to do it next year for sure.

As you can see, by the end of the pony ride for Jonna, she was as proud as can be.
And I DID IT!.
I got my 10 pullups on Saturday afternoon. It wasn't in a workout, so that is my next concept to overcome. But I can head to Florida in exactly oh one month!!

Honeymoonin!

We did it. We are going on a second honeymoon. We said we would do it at our five year anniversay, but it turned to be a little after the 6 year mark. It will entail the beach and football. Jake and I can't go wrong. We found some really, really cheap flights to Tampa Bay in November. We are going to a place called Anna Maria Island. It's meant to be right? It's a quaint little island on the West Coast of florida with Gulf on one side and the bay on the other with a trolley that runs up and down the island. And you know whose favorite football team plays in Tampa the same weekend we are there? Bucaneers game, baby!! We are renting a house with some other couples. Hello vacation!!!

Jake probably deserves this more than I. He has been working overtime between school, one full time job, and two part time jobs. Thanks Babe!

One more motivator for my health regime: To look good in my swimsuit! haha. So, my goal. I will be able to do 10 pullups by November 10th. Or I can't go to Florida. LOL!

The sky is orange, and the moon smiles.

There has beeen some sickness of all sorts traveling through our household in the last week, but I am hoping we are on the up and up! The fall days are beautiful. Ben and Jonna play outside to their hearts content. Last weekend, I seriously watched them play in a pile of dirt for over an hour by themselves. Amazing.

Jonna has her temper tantrums and is quite trying. BOY, is she trying. She is cutting her two year molars and believes she is the boss of everyone and anything. Not much has changed. LOL. Jake and I have found we have to be consistant. Sometimes it is hard, and I feel like I am a horrible mother. But I can't let my child run over me right?
She is beautiful. She is size 2t and 7.5 shoe. I am biased, but my daughter has been blessed with some wonderful features. Her little chin with a pixy face structure. Long eyelashes and the bluest eyes (Thanks Papa Kusick). Her hair is getting very long, and almost full ponytail worthy. She likes to talk on the phone, and her favorite person's she asks to call constantly are Aunt "tatha" and Uncle "Nohnny". She is a mother's hen, that likes to take care of everyone, and is very concerned when she sees someone has an "owie" or are sick. She has a million faces. Most of them just make me laugh. Watch out world. You are going to have your hands full.

Benjamin is also growing like a weed. He wears 5t shirts and pants. Wears a 12.5 shoe. There is just something about a little boy in cargo shorts and rain boots that make you smile. He wants to know what makes the sky orange, leaves yellow, and the moon smile. He wants to be a super hero like Aunt Katie's boyfriend, Brandon who is just finishing up with training in the National Guard. He is very concerned with protecting Jonna and I from bad guys, and reminds us constantly that he will "take them down". He practices with Mugsy.
He tells me he wants a big sister, so we called Aunt Katie and asked if she would be his big sister. She said yes. Ben looks up most to one person. He asks me all the time, when he can be like him. His Dad. Two close runner ups, are Papa Doug and Papa Kusick. Papa Doug flies an airplane and Papa Kusick drives tractors. Really, what is cooler than that?

When these two kids smile their smiles. I melt. I catch my breath and wonder how I could have been so blessed with these two beautiful children. What have I done to be so worthy. Being a Mom is hard, but its rewards are outstanding. Quoting the words of a mother, "Being a mother is like transforming into someone you thought you could never be. It's exhilerating and terrifying at the same time."