PuRe JoY

          Ezekiel Isaiah Ross

          October 16, 2009

          6lbs. 7.8oz.

          18 3/4in.

          Born: 9:21a.m.

(Above are the stats that I never added to my last post)

Having Ezekiel has brought me so much joy. I just can't stop thanking the Lord for His miraculous gift. Jesus is Lord! It also has opened a new door of grief for me. A new loss of Isaiah. I already knew how great the loss was, but holding Ezekiel also brings back so many memories of the little time that I got to hold Isaiah. I was looking at his picture, like I do every day, and I fell apart. I miss him so badly. Isaiah and Ezekiel look so much alike. I am so heart broken for Isaiah. I look at his picture and tell him how sorry I am. I feel like the loss of him is all my fault. It was my body that shut down. I would have given anything in this world to save his life. I would have given up my legs for him. My husband sat and prayed for God to take him instead of Isaiah. I guess this is just another part of the journey that I will be taking the rest of my life. I will be taking some much needed time to myself. Please continue to pray for healing for myself and my family, as we continue to  mourn the loss of our son, brother, grandson and nephew.

*Jenny*

Introducing...

Ezekiel Isaiah Ross

                             God's Miracle

Mini Amnio Update

I had my amnio done on Friday. My doctor called me this afternoon with the results, and said that my amnio was borderline. Ezekiel's lungs aren't quite ready yet, but very close. So I will be having my c-section on Friday morning for sure.... if I don't go into labor before then. Please keep us in your prayers. 

Jenny

Thank You God... Thank You Isaiah

I had the neatest experience this morning. Today is my birthday. This is something that I would not ever announce to the world, but today is different. My day started out just like any other day. I got up early and got my boys and myself ready for church. It's been extremely rainy the last four days. Very gloomy outside.

Now if I could have anything in this whole wide world for a gift, I would ask for my Isaiah to be back in my arms. Not having him here on my birthday has been almost as bad as not having him here on his birthday. In a different sort of way. 

I shared my rainbow story quite awhile ago. (If you want to read about it, it is the post written on March 12, 2009.) The rainbow holds extreme significance to me when it comes to Isaiah. I believe that the day after I delivered Isaiah, God showed three different people rainbows to let me know that Isaiah was safe, and that the same thing would never happen to me again. When I see a rainbow, I feel like it's Isaiah's way of saying "Hi mom! I'm safe and I love you."  For the first couple of months after loosing Isaiah, I had never seen so many rainbows in my life! 

So far this year, I haven't seen one rainbow..... until today, that is. As my family and I were headed out of the driveway this morning to go to church, there was a gorgeous rainbow in the sky. The sun only came out for maybe three minutes. I was brought to tears. At that moment, I was consumed with the presence of the Lord. I felt Isaiah so strongly... as if he were in my arms. It was his way of saying "Happy Birthday Mom!"  That was the best present I could have gotten today.

Thank You God... Thank You Isaiah.

~Jenny~