Today, is a day that has become one of the hardest to face for me. For the last three years, my soul has emotionally and physically ached over loosing you. From the moment your heart stopped beating, I let a piece of my own, journey into the heavens with you. I refused to let you be without your mommy.
I often get up at the crack of dawn, open my windows, and listen to the birds chirping their beautiful songs. My eyes graze over the dew covered grass, and I begin thinking of you. Thoughts of heaven travel around in my head. I sit and ponder all of the ways that you have been enjoying heaven these last three years. There must be so much beauty, peace and love surrounding you. I can only imagine.
I pull your picture close to my eyes, so I can see every intricate detail that God had formed so perfectly, so beautifully. My hands long to gently rub the back of your little head, just as a mother does when she cradles her newborn against her breast.
I count each little finger on both tiny hands, and I picture you holding up three little fingers after I ask how old you are today. I can just hear the precious words, "I'm thwee mommy!" I know that I would ask you the same question over and over again, because of how sweet you would have sounded. I'm quite sure that you would have gone running through our home full of excitement, telling your brothers that it's your birthday! What a sight that WOULD have been.
I may not be singing "Happy Birthday to You" while you're sitting at the table with your cake in front of you, but I know that your great grandmother Eleanore has already sung it to you. She was known for her beautiful voice, always making one feel like the most important person in the world. Give her a hug for me. (sigh)
I love you Isaiah. I cannot express enough, how special you are to me. You are a part of our family, and I will never let you be forgotten. There has not been a day that has passed without you filling my thoughts. I will never be the same.
I'll love you always... (tears)
Love,
Mommy
Happy Birthday to my littlest buddy.
