Shameless Plug - And Hydrocephalus Awareness Month!

Ummmm, yeah. I haven't made a blogpost in over four years. Time flies? And, being really honest here, this one might feel a little inauthentic. However, for me, there's a legitimate cause in my heart. 

September is Hydrocephalus Awareness Month. For the last seven years, we have participated in a local fundraising walk for the Hydrocephalus Association. They are the largest research organization for hydrocephalus, and their work is obviously very important to our family. While I can't really fathom what an actual "cure" for hydrocephalus might be, aside from brain surgery, of course I would love for someone to find that other option. We remain very randomly lucky that Elodie's shunt is still her original shunt. But that's not the case for so many children and adults. Over the years, I have had friends lose their child due to complications related to their hydrocephalus, and I've watched friend's kids go through multiple shunt revisions. It's awful to watch the anguish so many families endure because of this medical condition. And I sometimes struggle with "survivor's guilt" of sorts because Elodie is so healthy and neurotypical.

Speaking of, this little girl of mine really is such a bright, bold presence in this world! Who would have guessed this 5lb9oz sick little baby would grow into the youngest yet tallest (and most gregarious) second grader some day?! 

Anyway, the main reason I'm writing today is because of that fundraising walk I mentioned. Each year, I try to raise at least $1000, and most years we've hit or exceeded that goal. So this year I decided to bump it up to $1500. I'm almost there, but currently about $120 short. A lot of these were straight donations, and another big chunk came from a Beautycounter fundraiser I held. If you have any desire in your heart to donate to our team, I'm offering two options. One, you can make a direct donation through this link: https://secure2.convio.net/hydro/site/TR/WALK/General?px=1002353&pg=personal&fr_id=1722

The other option is to support my Beautycounter fundraiser! If you don't know the brand, they are a sustainable and clean skin and beauty company that creates safer products. They relentlessly advocate for safety in the skincare and beauty industry because as many of us who have struggled with infertility or children with birth defects know, the risks of teratogens are huge! I will never know for sure what caused my miscarriages or Elodie's hydrocephalus, but I do know that I will work to eliminate unsafe products for my family's health and happiness. If you have any interest in learning more or exploring some of their products, you can check that out here: www.beautycounter.com/lisastotts  I am donating all of my sales for the month of September to my fundraiser. Yes, that's 100% of my commissions. I don't need the money, but the HA does!

Thanks for stopping by my little corner of the internet today, and if anyone out there actually sees this and wants an actual update on my kids or me, I'll get on that! I really do miss this space sometimes, but we all know how things go. Life happens, and life is busy! Plus the pandemic!! OMG y'all! I hope you're all surviving and hopefully even thriving in this strange, new world. Who would have guessed we'd be here when we all first started blogging. Leave me comments too, so I can see updates from old friends!

💗💙💗💙💗

Lisa (& Elodie!)

Updates on Life

It's been almost a full year since I last updated. Where to begin?! 

Noah is now 7 years old and going into 2nd grade. Seriously. He's a super smart and inquisitive kid who loves learning about science and nature, playing Zelda on Dad's new Nintendo, and playing with his adoring sister. He currently wants to be a scientist or a ninja when he grows up. The scientist thing is probably more realistic. ;) We haven't really delved into the world of sports with him, and honestly he doesn't seem particularly interested in anything. While we were recently in Minnesota my mother-in-law set up some private swim lessons and he seems motivated to continue with them. I really want him to learn to swim so that I don't have to worry about him in the pool or the lake. I think Noah is going to be one of the more intellectual kinds of kids though, and I'm ok with that. He has gotten so good at reading and can read 5th grade level chapter books with ease. He only struggles with words not in his vocabulary, which are few. Man this kid can talk. Ha! That's probably our biggest challenge with him. He can't stop talking to save his life, especially at meal time. He has gotten so skinny and it drives me crazy! I don't understand why he doesn't stuff his face like the rest of us! 

Elodie is one month shy of graduating from toddlerhood and becoming a preschooler. I can't believe it! Where did my baby go? But I wouldn't have it any other way. Once upon a time I worried I wouldn't get to watch her truly "grow up," so every minute of it is a blessing. She is the embodiment of a sassy, spunky 2-year-old girl. Holy cow, she gives us a run for our money! It must be true that you can only have one easy kid! In reality, she's incredibly loving and sweet most of the time, but when she's mad, watch out! So many opinions and a scream that can wake the dead. She started off the school year in a home daycare, but it wasn't the best experience. Let's just say she still has the scar to prove it. At the beginning of 2017 we started her in the daycare Noah attended from ages 3-4 and it has been the best experience for her! She and her teacher, Ms. Missy, adore each other and Elodie has a little best friend that she's in a love/hate relationship with. Elodie exited from Early Intervention services in October 2016 after her annual evaluation indicated that she was performing typically (or above) in all areas other than gross motor. She still doesn't have the same core strength as other kids her age, but she can run, jump, and climb better than Noah could at the same age so we'll take it! She actually LOVES jumping and is quite a little daredevil when it comes to jumping on furniture. I always worry about her bumping her head, especially her shunt, but she's one tough cookie! Over Spring Break we also removed her mini button (the port for her g-tube) because she hadn't used it in over a year. We were really lucky because the site healed on its own, which spared her from a surgical procedure. She still needs liquids thickened but is doing so well otherwise. Her big obstacle right now is potty training. For whatever reason the toilet scares her, so although she'll talk about it a bit, sitting on the potty always ends in tears. I know she'll get there in her own time, just like everything else.

The day we removed her button

As for us parents, Brian is still an English teacher at the local high school, and coaches boys cross country and track. He's also still pursuing his side business which is now focused on SAT/ACT prep. Last summer he jumped back into running and over the last year he has lost around 40 pounds. He ran a marathon in May with a goal of finishing in under three hours, and he ended with a time of 2:56:50! He's hoping to run the Boston marathon next April since he is well-under the qualifying time for his age group. I've been so impressed with and proud of his dedication and training, even if it means he's gone for 2-3 hours every morning/afternoon. He seems much happier this way!

I went back to work in the fall and it sucked. Working 4 days a week was awesome, but I didn't love one of my two schools and started the school year with a really challenging student situation. I really missed my old special education teams and just couldn't bond with one of my new ones. By October I was already vowing to leave the district and find a job closer to home. And I did! In April I was offered the school psychologist position that is split between the two local elementary schools and I enthusiastically accepted. I'll get to work in Noah's school this fall! How amazing is that?! I also ventured into the world of direct sales and had my own online LuLaRoe group from October - May. In the end, I fell out of love with the company, but it was definitely a learning opportunity and I made some great friends in the process. And that's our last year in a nutshell! I hope any old blogging friends who might read this are all doing well! 

Summer 2016

I. Suck. At. Blogging.

Has it really been nearly 6 months?! Oops. So much for that new laptop making things easier. There is so much to catch up on! First, we're just ten days from Elodie's second birthday, and just 9 days from my first day back to work! I was rehired to my school district back in May, and I will be working Monday-Thursday each week in two different schools as a school psychologist. I am excited to go back, although as my two years of "leave" with Elodie comes to an end, it's definitely starting to feel bittersweet. My mom is coming out to help me with the transition, so Elodie won't start daycare until the 22nd. We found a great in-home daycare that is really close to Brian's school. We're hoping she loves it!

Noah will be going into first grade this year. He loved Kindergarten, but being a first grader means he gets to play on the "big playground" so he is pretty excited about that! His reading has really taken off, and I'm thrilled that he's so excited about being a reader. He is still our very talkative, very outgoing little guy and I love him to death.

Elodie is a typical almost two-year-old nightmare toddler. She has big opinions, but also huge amounts of love for the special people in her life. Over the past six months, she has made amazing developmental leaps. She went from calling shoes "lows" to speaking in 3-5 word sentences. She asks questions like, "Why Noah sad?" and makes comments like, "I don't want diaper!" (As she runs away giggling.) She is a feisty little thing who is almost always either making me laugh or pulling all my hair out. In terms of her hydro, we haven't had any complications. (Knock on wood!) She had an MRI shunt series back in May which looked fine, so we'll follow up again in November or so. And as for her g-tube, we haven't used it since February. We are talking about pulling it, but want to see how she'll do with daycare germs and puking bugs. Her most recent swallow study showed progress, but she still needs her fluids thickened to "nectar" consistency. My worry is that a puking toddler won't want to drink thickened pedialyte when sick. Hopefully she won't get sick at all, but if she does I want to see how she'll do before we remove our trusty back-up device.

This summer we went to Minnesota as usual. We spent a week at my parents' cabin over the 4th of July, and then a week with my in-laws. We finally got to meet our nephew Lincoln who was born back in September, so that was pretty special. It was a great trip! I even got to meet another August 2014 mom that I've been talking to for years on BabyCenter. It really is cool how the internet can bring people together!

And last but not least, back on June 13th, we said goodbye to our furbaby Gilbert. After two years of managing his diabetes, and a year of being almost totally blind, we felt it was his time. Hopefully he's found a sunny spot up there!

Our annual visit to the Rhubarb Festival.

We've done lots of evening walks at our local state park.

Our annual family photo at the lake!

My little beach baby

At the lake!

With the in-laws!

Minnesota never disappoints!

I hope anyone still following me is doing well! I miss this space and community, but most of us are rarely here anymore. I used to be upset by people who fell off the face of the internet, but I totally get it now! Life is crazy with kids! And I wouldn't change it for the world.

Gilbert
August 16, 2003 - June 13, 2016

Eighteen Months!

After turning in my work laptop in August, I started using our external hard drive to blog, but that was a pain. So please excuse the long hiatus. Thanks to a tax refund, we were finally able to buy a new laptop, so here I am.

Little Miss Elodie hit the ripe old age of one-and-a-half today. My baby is now a full-blown toddler! How is that possible? 

Elodie is full of personality! She loves everyone that loves her, and expresses her affection with hugs, kisses, and cuddles. She likes to hug my legs and lets out the sweetest little "mama" when she cuddles anyone. The other side of Elodie is quite sassy and opinionated. If she doesn't get her way, watch out! She has been known to hit, scratch, and bite. When she is really upset, she will bang her head onto the wall, floor, or something else hard. It's a terrible habit that I hope will eventually be replaced when she is better able to verbalize her feelings. And speaking of talking, Elodie currently has about 25-30 "words." I use that term loosely because many of her words sound identical and we rely on context to understand them. There are other words, such as "low" for shoe, that only we as her parents understand. However, she does have some other words that are fairly clear and obvious. I keep waiting for her to use something for Noah, but so far he has no name. 

In April we will have her 6 month review with Early Intervention. Her OT was here today and we both agreed that we won't continue past that date. I'm hoping we will qualify her for speech-language services though, due to my concerns about her receptive language and her articulation. It's bittersweet to graduate from OT since we love her therapist, but it's also pretty amazing! Elodie is not just walking, but running and climbing on everything in sight. She has figured out how to open our lever-style door handles. Nothing is safe! So yeah, motor skills are no longer a concern. Her current OT goals now revolve around eating. Well, in the last week and a half, we have stopped using Elodie's g-tube. I finally decided to take the leap and see what she would do without it. As I suspected, she was more than happy to drink her thickened milk/Pediasure blend and eat all of her meals. Some nights I will push an ounce or two of water through a syringe for extra hydration, but that has been it! It's amazing how much this girl loves to eat considering how difficult it all started out for her. Most nights I think she honestly eats a bigger dinner than Noah. Despite her enthusiasm for eating, she is still only tipping the scales around the 15-20th percentile. We had a nutritionist come out last week and she weighed her at 20lbs 4oz, and measured her at 32 inches. We are supposed to recheck in a month to see how she is doing now that she is not using her g-tube. Fingers crossed for a slight gain! Oh, and Elodie recently sprouted about 5 new teeth, including 3 molars. That seems to be helping her successfully eat a larger variety of textures.

There is so much more I could say about how awesome Elodie is, but instead I'll sum it up like this. If someone would have shown me a crystal ball 18 months ago and given me a peek of how things would be today, I would have dropped to my knees and cried tears of joy! It's pretty remarkable to having a living miracle in my presence every day. She truly inspires me! Some days I still can't believe she exists and that I have been given the honor of being her mother.

Three?

A little over a year ago, I wrote this post, and talked about being a complete family. Lately though, I've been having these nagging thoughts about one more. The time surrounding Elodie's birth and the first six months of her life were traumatizing. I feel like I missed out on so many things I had hoped to reexperience. I wanted to nurse longer, relax more, and relish the newborn stage. None of that happened. It leaves a bit of a wound on my heart. Part of me feels like having another baby could bring a lot of healing, although there is no guarantee of a healthy baby or any of my wish list coming to fruition. So I'm not sure if I actually want another baby, or if I just need to work through some of the lingering grief. There are other reasons another baby sounds appealing as well. We are pretty isolated in Colorado, being so far away from family, so having a bigger family of our own sounds nice. Our kids really only have each other, with just one cousin who lives 900 miles away, and that's not how I envisioned things. I grew up with big extended families! And I really feel like being a mom is my calling in life. It's the most rewarding thing I'll ever do.

When I mentioned this to Brian, I was shocked that he didn't immediately call the hospital and schedule the next available vasectomy. Our biggest concern is financial. While I do plan to go back to work in the future, kids are crazy expensive. We would have a lot more money if we stick to just two. I know money isn't everything, but the stress of barely making it each month is very real. And of course, there's the question of whether this is even possible. Multiple doctors once told us we would never conceive on our own. But we've had two miraculous conceptions, one which gave us Elodie. So was she truly a gift from above, or did we somehow overcome our issues? One thing is for sure, we will never seek fertility treatment again. 

I am content. I love our kids. I am happy with our family. I feel blessed beyond my wildest dreams. But still, my mind is going there. For those who have been lucky enough to even have this choice, how did you know that you were done?

What Do Doctors Know? (And Halloween)

On October 26th, at 14 months and 10 days, Elodie took her first steps! She did two in a row, and then a couple single steps. Since then, she has upped her record to about 8-10 steps in a row. Brian is predicting that she will be fully walking by Thanksgiving. I think that's a fair prediction. Take that perinatologist! My daughter is not only going to walk, she's going to walk well within a typical time frame!

Hey, I'm walkin' here!

We were all sick for Halloween so we kept it pretty low-key. Brian took us to his school's Trick-or-Treat Street event and Noah scored a ton of candy. Then Brian took Noah to the only local neighborhood where houses are close enough together to actually make trick or treating possible. We carved pumpkins the night before as well, but Noah still finds it completely disgusting so Brian did all the work.

My "super" awesome kids!

I will admit, it was never my dream to dress up my daughter as a male sidekick for her first Halloween costume (she only had pjs last year), but none of the other infant costumes spoke to me. And it was cute anyway. She has the rest of her life to dress as a princess or a fairy or something else girly, if that's what she chooses. 

In other news, Elodie continues to get more verbal. She says yay, tickle, doggy, head, light, all done, all day, and uh-oh. She might also say daddy, mama, and hi. She's pointing like crazy, which is always accompanied with something that either sounds like "shky" or "da-ee." She's amazing. Noah is continuing to do well in Kindergarten. He loves to sound out words and spell them on paper. He makes me so proud.

I am so lucky to call these two beautiful children mine.

Stitch Fix #4

I was much more excited about this month after last month was so good. Initially I felt really "meh" about this box, but a few pieces have really grown on me in the last 24 hours. I would love to get feedback!

I tried on the Just Black Jimmy Skinny Jean ($88) with not much hope because once again they sent me the wrong size. And at first I thought, "Yup, too small." But after trying them on again today for Brian, I'm thinking they might actually be exactly what I've been waiting for. Thoughts?

The rest of my box included four shirts. Again, I was kind of blah about all of them yesterday, but after trying them on again today, a couple of them may be keepers. First up is the Market & Spruce Aleah Heathered V-Neck Dolman Top ($48). I like the color a lot (seems to bring out the green in my eyes), and I like the fit. I also have nothing currently like it.

Up next is the Market & Spruce Colibri Polka Dot Print Top ($48). The more I wore this shirt, the more I liked it. It could be dressed up or down, and it would layer nicely with a cute jacket (which I don't own yet). If I were still working outside the home, I don't think I would hesitate. Buy it anyway?

Obviously needs some ironing, too!

I was sent another sweater, the RD Style Minno Cowl Neck Pullover Sweater ($78). It's just okay for me, though Brian liked it a lot. I just don't think it's special enough for it's higher price, plus it's 100% acrylic, which is not my favorite. Also, is it just me or does it make my shoulders and upper arms look bulky? I feel like there is a balance issue somehow.

Last, I quickly threw on the Papermoon Minton Crew Neck Blouse ($48). I knew right away that trying it on wasn't going to make me like it. I was right. Plus, the pattern is too similar to another shirt I already purchased, and with less appealing colors. This one is an easy no.

What do you all think? Am I considering the right pieces? Also, any suggestions for my uninspired hair? I haven't cut it since June 2013. Ugh.

And as always, if you want to learn more, or try Stitch Fix for yourself, you can do that by clicking here!

(If there were any insane typos or obviously incomplete or incoherent sentences in this post, I blame Elodie who was sitting on my lap and constantly banging the keyboard. :) I can't tell you how many times I hit delete and attempted to retype my thoughts!)