So, long time no post! Have some recs. A mix of Avengers and Leverage, for your pleasure.
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Well, to be honest, they've been exhausting. Not so much in the 'things are happening all the time' way as they were last year, but in a 'I am in autistic burnout BECAUSE of last year, and, well, the year or two before that' way.
So, I've been really focussing on self care. Getting to the gym when I can. Trying to eat when I need to, and making food that's good for me most days. Cutting down on the caffeine. Stimming when I need to. My personal hygeine is actually the best it's been in years, because one of the ways I've been coping is by getting little things from Lush, so, right now I have a couple of bars of soap, a smashed up bath bomb and half a bubble bar, deodorant, and samples of a bunch of their tooth powders/pellets. It sounds like a lot, but it's stuff I've bought/got samples of one thing at a time over the last few months, and as with most things from Lush, a little bit goes a long way. Next thing I'll try will probably being their shampoo or conditioning bars, but I'm waiting until I've used up all my bottled supermarket stuff first.
The pets seem to be doing okay. We've managed to get Pip to put weight back on, so he doesn't feel as bony. He's still skinny, but not worryingly so. His hips are obviously arthritic. He's our old boy, and, as an older dog, we just have to make sure we're giving him what he needs to be healthy.
I've been trying to get back into reading fic. I'm mainly reading Avengers with a bit of Leverage. Trying to catch up on WIPs I'm behind on. Adding to a rec list I've had open since July, so, in the next day or so, I'll do a post of those and share fic with you all again.
It's been too hot to knit so I've been using my stim toys a lot more. My old Tangles are so, so broken. The aim is to replace them in the next few months, when we have the money saved up.
Right now, I've been watching a lot of cooking shows. Jamie Oliver, Heston Blumenthal, Great British Bake Off, that kind of thing. Nothing too shouty or competitive. Watching a bunch of Time Team with Mum because she likes it. Still so behind on so many things, but too tired to care about that TBH. New seson of Endeavour just finished, though, so I expect we will be watching that soon.
In books, I'm up to book eight of Katharine Kerr's Deverry series, and book thirty eight of Poirot (Poirot's Early Cases).
I am posting semi-regularly on Tumblr, so if you're over there, I'm at http://iamshadow21.tumblr.com . It's mainly fandom things, autism things, some social activism, some posts about my life. I won't flood your dash, I maybe post a handful of things a day at most.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/433352.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
So, I've been really focussing on self care. Getting to the gym when I can. Trying to eat when I need to, and making food that's good for me most days. Cutting down on the caffeine. Stimming when I need to. My personal hygeine is actually the best it's been in years, because one of the ways I've been coping is by getting little things from Lush, so, right now I have a couple of bars of soap, a smashed up bath bomb and half a bubble bar, deodorant, and samples of a bunch of their tooth powders/pellets. It sounds like a lot, but it's stuff I've bought/got samples of one thing at a time over the last few months, and as with most things from Lush, a little bit goes a long way. Next thing I'll try will probably being their shampoo or conditioning bars, but I'm waiting until I've used up all my bottled supermarket stuff first.
The pets seem to be doing okay. We've managed to get Pip to put weight back on, so he doesn't feel as bony. He's still skinny, but not worryingly so. His hips are obviously arthritic. He's our old boy, and, as an older dog, we just have to make sure we're giving him what he needs to be healthy.
I've been trying to get back into reading fic. I'm mainly reading Avengers with a bit of Leverage. Trying to catch up on WIPs I'm behind on. Adding to a rec list I've had open since July, so, in the next day or so, I'll do a post of those and share fic with you all again.
It's been too hot to knit so I've been using my stim toys a lot more. My old Tangles are so, so broken. The aim is to replace them in the next few months, when we have the money saved up.
Right now, I've been watching a lot of cooking shows. Jamie Oliver, Heston Blumenthal, Great British Bake Off, that kind of thing. Nothing too shouty or competitive. Watching a bunch of Time Team with Mum because she likes it. Still so behind on so many things, but too tired to care about that TBH. New seson of Endeavour just finished, though, so I expect we will be watching that soon.
In books, I'm up to book eight of Katharine Kerr's Deverry series, and book thirty eight of Poirot (Poirot's Early Cases).
I am posting semi-regularly on Tumblr, so if you're over there, I'm at http://iamshadow21.tumblr.com . It's mainly fandom things, autism things, some social activism, some posts about my life. I won't flood your dash, I maybe post a handful of things a day at most.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/433352.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Link to Tumblr
Happy hand flapping to Parachute, a Leverage fanvid. I love the vid itself, but the song is just as pleasurable to me. Stimming with my only remaining intact Tangle - the new Therapy I just got out of the box the other day. New purchases will have to wait - I’m probably going to put an order in for a range of new ones in two to three months. For now, I’ve got this one and I’m going to do a dollar shop/toy shop/office supply shop run to find a collection of things I can fit in my pocket for under $5. Wish me luck!
(Originally posted yesterday morning)
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/432959.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Happy hand flapping to Parachute, a Leverage fanvid. I love the vid itself, but the song is just as pleasurable to me. Stimming with my only remaining intact Tangle - the new Therapy I just got out of the box the other day. New purchases will have to wait - I’m probably going to put an order in for a range of new ones in two to three months. For now, I’ve got this one and I’m going to do a dollar shop/toy shop/office supply shop run to find a collection of things I can fit in my pocket for under $5. Wish me luck!
(Originally posted yesterday morning)
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/432959.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
I was hoping I could get the crosspost to work properly, as tumblr's easier for me to use right now, but I just can't make it work the way I want it to. So I'll try to get things up here, too, but I may only sometimes succeed. I'm in burnout, something I predicted I would be months and months ago, and it's only luck that it didn't happen earlier.
Sorry about the junk that has come up on here the last few days - I mean, sometimes it worked fine, and others, it's so messed up it's almost unreadable, so until I can resolve that, the experiment is over.
I check this daily and get comment notifications. Sometimes I don't have the energy to reply, see: burnout, but this account isn't inactive just because I can't always type up what I want to say.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/432848.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Sorry about the junk that has come up on here the last few days - I mean, sometimes it worked fine, and others, it's so messed up it's almost unreadable, so until I can resolve that, the experiment is over.
I check this daily and get comment notifications. Sometimes I don't have the energy to reply, see: burnout, but this account isn't inactive just because I can't always type up what I want to say.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/432848.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
via http://ift.tt/2jwOOd9:
Enjoyed myself. Though it’s a 500 piece puzzle, the pieces are small which means the whole thing fits just right on one of the piano stools. Challenging, but not too challenging that I got discouraged. Took me yesterday evening and a couple of hours this morning.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/432635.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Enjoyed myself. Though it’s a 500 piece puzzle, the pieces are small which means the whole thing fits just right on one of the piano stools. Challenging, but not too challenging that I got discouraged. Took me yesterday evening and a couple of hours this morning.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/432635.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
via http://ift.tt/2iT6i2L:
Let’s do this.
Let’s (un)fuck shit up.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/431592.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Let’s do this.
Let’s (un)fuck shit up.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/431592.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
via http://ift.tt/2juhMKL:
How To Get Yourself Through Autistic Burnout Whilst Poor
I went to the dollar store and Target today, and for SEVEN DOLLARS I kitted myself out with a stim kit.
From Target, I got two puzzles ($1 each), a squishy rubbery ball in a cloth cover to squeeze ($1), and scored a freebie - a rattle/chew that had been dropped by a customer that suited me. (Disclaimer - I looked for a customer with a baby, didn’t find them, the store DID NOT STOCK the item in question, and, having worked for Target, I knew handing it in would land it straight in the bin.)
From the dollar store, I got a pumpkin/witch thing that was leftover from Halloween and the closest I could find to a Koosh in texture ($2), and six tiny eggs of synthetic stone (3 for $1).
The bag at the back was a gift from my mother that she bought in the Pacific Islands whilst on a cruise, so it cost me nothing, PLUS it is a stim toy in itself - the entire thing unzips to a long strand of zip and rezips up to bag shape.
A stim kit that’s gonna save my life, and it cost me $7.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/431206.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
How To Get Yourself Through Autistic Burnout Whilst Poor
I went to the dollar store and Target today, and for SEVEN DOLLARS I kitted myself out with a stim kit.
From Target, I got two puzzles ($1 each), a squishy rubbery ball in a cloth cover to squeeze ($1), and scored a freebie - a rattle/chew that had been dropped by a customer that suited me. (Disclaimer - I looked for a customer with a baby, didn’t find them, the store DID NOT STOCK the item in question, and, having worked for Target, I knew handing it in would land it straight in the bin.)
From the dollar store, I got a pumpkin/witch thing that was leftover from Halloween and the closest I could find to a Koosh in texture ($2), and six tiny eggs of synthetic stone (3 for $1).
The bag at the back was a gift from my mother that she bought in the Pacific Islands whilst on a cruise, so it cost me nothing, PLUS it is a stim toy in itself - the entire thing unzips to a long strand of zip and rezips up to bag shape.
A stim kit that’s gonna save my life, and it cost me $7.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/431206.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
via http://ift.tt/2j3vAvO:
Shorter vid of me stimming with my hands and my (broken) Tangle Jr Fuzzy. I wasn’t listening to music this time, just trying out my laptop camera for the first time.
Also, attempting a crosspost to DW/LJ for the first time! Wish me luck.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/430097.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Shorter vid of me stimming with my hands and my (broken) Tangle Jr Fuzzy. I wasn’t listening to music this time, just trying out my laptop camera for the first time.
Also, attempting a crosspost to DW/LJ for the first time! Wish me luck.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/430097.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Anxiety still pretty bad. Gym helping sometimes, if temporarily.
Three of the last four days I spent at school with mum helping her stocktake her library collection. It's something I did annuallly as a teen, and it's really good just putting my headphones on and organising shelves of books for a whole day. More to go, still, but we're making progress.
We have Jessica Jones and Daredevil on dvd, and they're added to the rewatch pile. We went in on the release day to buy them, and JB had a 20% off sale on, so in the end I think we paid under $30 per set.
Up to season two of Bones, enjoying it so far. Enough that I'll check out the books. (Yes, I know they're very different, that's fine.)
Reading Dawnspell (Deverry #3), and Murder in the Mews (Poirot #18).
I need to reply to my big bang comments. I feel bad for leaving them so long, but it requires more energy than I have to spare.
Playing Avengers Academy still. Bought Nico Minoru during the Doctor Strange event, and this month's event is A-Force so it's absolutely crammed with girls I want. Probably won't earn enough shards in time to get She-Hulk, but Jane Foster Thor, Singularity, Captain Marvel, America Chavez and Angela are all possibilities, as well as a fem!Loki skin, so if I get any of those I'll be happy.
Bought a new wallet today. Purple leather. I'd only had leather wallets for years, and then when I had to replace it last time, the brand I'd bought before didn't exist any more so I bought a synthetic one. Two years, and it's falling apart. This one only cost me $10, and hopefully should last me a long time.
Bought a new halogen bulb for our fibreoptic christmas tree only to find out it's another component that's gone. Fortunately, it's really simple inside, so my brother should be able to replace what's broken. For now, we've strung our tiny tree with red, white and blue lights, those tiny strings that run off AA batteries. Looks great. We haven't had our tree up in years because we had no room for it at Hill End.
Debating the merits of cooking for ourselves vs pizza tonight. No idea which will win out. Which form of apathy will win? Getting up and cooking vs ringing someone on the phone? Could be either when we both have anxiety issues where phones are concerned. Either way, we'll eat something. Eventually.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/429955.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Three of the last four days I spent at school with mum helping her stocktake her library collection. It's something I did annuallly as a teen, and it's really good just putting my headphones on and organising shelves of books for a whole day. More to go, still, but we're making progress.
We have Jessica Jones and Daredevil on dvd, and they're added to the rewatch pile. We went in on the release day to buy them, and JB had a 20% off sale on, so in the end I think we paid under $30 per set.
Up to season two of Bones, enjoying it so far. Enough that I'll check out the books. (Yes, I know they're very different, that's fine.)
Reading Dawnspell (Deverry #3), and Murder in the Mews (Poirot #18).
I need to reply to my big bang comments. I feel bad for leaving them so long, but it requires more energy than I have to spare.
Playing Avengers Academy still. Bought Nico Minoru during the Doctor Strange event, and this month's event is A-Force so it's absolutely crammed with girls I want. Probably won't earn enough shards in time to get She-Hulk, but Jane Foster Thor, Singularity, Captain Marvel, America Chavez and Angela are all possibilities, as well as a fem!Loki skin, so if I get any of those I'll be happy.
Bought a new wallet today. Purple leather. I'd only had leather wallets for years, and then when I had to replace it last time, the brand I'd bought before didn't exist any more so I bought a synthetic one. Two years, and it's falling apart. This one only cost me $10, and hopefully should last me a long time.
Bought a new halogen bulb for our fibreoptic christmas tree only to find out it's another component that's gone. Fortunately, it's really simple inside, so my brother should be able to replace what's broken. For now, we've strung our tiny tree with red, white and blue lights, those tiny strings that run off AA batteries. Looks great. We haven't had our tree up in years because we had no room for it at Hill End.
Debating the merits of cooking for ourselves vs pizza tonight. No idea which will win out. Which form of apathy will win? Getting up and cooking vs ringing someone on the phone? Could be either when we both have anxiety issues where phones are concerned. Either way, we'll eat something. Eventually.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/429955.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
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So steal a phrase from a good friend - it's a beautiful day to hate running walking.
Friday, I went along with Sis-in-law to Fernwood, and we signed up. Yes, for the first time in my life I am part of a gym. And given the amount I paid, I am going to use it. So far, I've been three times. I've gotten the feel for the treadmill, which is weird after only having done road and trail walking before. I still can't take my hands off, though, because the moment I do I can really feel the motion of the belt and feel like I'm sliding off even if I'm not. Holding on is fine, though, and when I have my hands on the grips I can see my heart rate, which I've never had before. One of the perks of signing up this month is I get a free Fitbit Alta through redemption. I've sent off my code to redeem, and I get a form in the mail I have to fill out and return. So, hopefully free stuff soon?
Ghostbusters finally arrived today, even though it's been in stores for days and I preordered. I'm relieved, because I was worried I'd miss out on the bonus disc if it was lost in the mail.
Reading:
Galveston by Sean Stewart
Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
The Girl in the Spider's Web by David Lagercrantz
Knitting:
An enormous Pi shawl in Iron Man colours for LittleBro
To Knit next:
Another Diagonal Block Stitch Square, this one for my aunt who's having to go into a nursing home
Watching: Leverage with commentaries
To Watch next: Librarians, everything MArvel I've missed in the last year, everything else I still have not got to, Ghostbusters.
I'm tired, and I have new blisters. How are all of you?
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/429342.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Friday, I went along with Sis-in-law to Fernwood, and we signed up. Yes, for the first time in my life I am part of a gym. And given the amount I paid, I am going to use it. So far, I've been three times. I've gotten the feel for the treadmill, which is weird after only having done road and trail walking before. I still can't take my hands off, though, because the moment I do I can really feel the motion of the belt and feel like I'm sliding off even if I'm not. Holding on is fine, though, and when I have my hands on the grips I can see my heart rate, which I've never had before. One of the perks of signing up this month is I get a free Fitbit Alta through redemption. I've sent off my code to redeem, and I get a form in the mail I have to fill out and return. So, hopefully free stuff soon?
Ghostbusters finally arrived today, even though it's been in stores for days and I preordered. I'm relieved, because I was worried I'd miss out on the bonus disc if it was lost in the mail.
Reading:
Galveston by Sean Stewart
Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
The Girl in the Spider's Web by David Lagercrantz
Knitting:
An enormous Pi shawl in Iron Man colours for LittleBro
To Knit next:
Another Diagonal Block Stitch Square, this one for my aunt who's having to go into a nursing home
Watching: Leverage with commentaries
To Watch next: Librarians, everything MArvel I've missed in the last year, everything else I still have not got to, Ghostbusters.
I'm tired, and I have new blisters. How are all of you?
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/429342.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
It really has been forever, but I'm going to try to do one of these semi-regularly to get back into blogging again.
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So.
Here goes.
Emma and I have moved in with Mum. Hill End is all cleaned up and is back to being a holiday house. We're in one bedroom here, and eventually will have a second for a craft room.
Life has been so, so super busy, and so intense. Packing, moving and cleaning here took several weeks. Then, once I felt at least two thirds settled, we had to do the last frantic push to clear and clean my grandparents' house, which my uncle had turned into a full on hoarder house over the last decade. Whatever you're thinking, yeah. It was that bad, and then some. Two full days of cleaning garbage, electronics, timber, glass, and a few actual things we wanted to keep, from first thing in the morning to after dark. Tip runs, barrow loads, scrubbing walls and floors, raking up millions of screws and electrical components, breathing in dirt, mould, fibreglass insulation and god knows what else. I ended up with cuts and bruises all over and a minor head injury. Good times. And I'm not exaggerating to say that without Brother2, Mum and myself it would not have been done. Both uncles were barely helping, and at times were actually obstructive. But we did it.
So.
Mum's house ended up packed full with stuff. Three households being pushed into one house. So much sorting. Lots of charity shop runs. Lots of trying to bring some kind of order. I did a lot, on my own, but the last two days, Mum really dug in and we sorted all the remaining stuff in about twelve hours. We now have all the rooms back to looking great that were packed full. We have a walkway from the back of the garage to the front. We have all the furniture accessible and able to be used. It's amazing. I could cry - it would have taken at least three weeks to work through it on my own.
We have a house we can live in again. Now I just have to maintain it. The kitchen I've been keeping up with - it's new, well-designed, and it is SO EASY to cook in and to keep up. I've been baking bread again. Now that there aren't piles of boxes everywhere, I should be able to keep up the floors. Mum has an elderly Roomba that I can let loose, and it saves so much time even if it misses bits. The garden - I've already weeded a few beds and planted tomatoes, potatoes, nasturtium, basil, broad beans, spinach, coriander, lavender, common sage, pineapple sage and also transplanted some rhubarb and rocket from my garden at Hill End. Ta had some very healthy happy herbs and has over a dozen citrus trees btween the front and back yards, so we should have heaps of fruit this summer. Now I just have to water regularly to get things through the heat. Don't have to stress about that today - it's been raining since I woke up.
One big blow was finding out after we moved in that someone, at some point had put three crates of our books outside in the yard, in the weather. Disaster. Over 270 books lost, and amongst them most of Emma's childhood books. We're sourcing replacements, but it's shattering. We spent three days crying, cataloguing and mourning. Our books are so important to us, and they were meant to be safe. They'd been in mum's garage because we had no room for them at Hill End, been carefully stowed in the garage because I knew there they would be safe. And someone, who knows who, chose to put them outside. The tubs were clear. I was obvious what was in them. It just felt so incredibly personal. Notable losses that cannot be replaced are Emma's copy of The Girl Who Swallowed Bees, of which there are no copies anywhere online for sale at any price, and my really old copy of Anne of Green Gables, which I now know was a first edition worth about $600. I've replaced a bunch of Emma's already from ebay, abebooks and charity shops. The rest will just take time and chance - I hope I can find most of them for under $5 each second hand from charity over the next few years.
I had to bow out of the Stucky Big Bang but my Marvel Bang story is all but finished, It isn't as complex, long and rich as I would have liked, but I essentially lost two months writing time. I'm just thrilled it's going to be able to be posted at all, because I love the whole idea, even if it isn't as polished as it would have been if I hadn't had to move house in the middle. Hopefully there will be some readers out there who will love it despite its rough and hurried state.
I haven't had time to read fic eaither, hence the hiatus from my rec posts, but I hope to get back into that soon. I have so many wonderful story notifications piled up in my inbox that I haven't even loaded up, let alone read. I'm feeling starved for fandom. And I'm diving into a new one - we discovered Leverage while in the process of packing to move, and our copies of the US releases arrived in the mail last week. There are commentaries on every episode and special features and that makes me SO HAPPY. I love all that stuff. And we'll try out The Librarians next since it's more Christian Kane and the same creative team. We also have the Deadpool and Civil War extras to watch, and I also bought The Rogue Cut of X-Men: DOFP for $15 a couple of days ago that we have yet to see. Behind on everything - STILL not seen the second seasons of Agent Carter or Daredevil, or season 3 of Agents of SHIELD. Still stalled halfway through season 3 of Once Upon A Time. Haven't seen season 15 of CSI, or like the last couple of seasons of Castle, and goodness knows what else. We want to try out a bunch of new shows, too, since my friends are raving about them, and I'm feeling left out, but we just have such a huge backlog and it's hard to find time to catch up.
Yesterday was my family birthday thing, which went well. We cooked lamb with rosemary, garlic and juniper, and a roast chicken, and plenty of roasted and steamed veg. I cooked brownies for dessert, but wasn't fussed with the result, fair too oily. I'll go back to my tried and true beetroot brownies recipe in future. I'll have dinner with friends next weekend, and I hope to adapt The Muddiest Chocolate and Vodka Mud Cake to be white chocolate and raspberry flavoured for that.
I don't really have a craft project right now. I want to get back into knitting socks, but I have no idea where my sock yarn is right now, so I'm continuing the Diagonal Block Stitch Square I began in February, purely because it's mindless, and because I knew where it was. It's just a basic acrylic yarn, a wildly bright red/yellow/blue/green verigate that I'll probably border in white or another stark contrast when it's done.
I think that's maybe it for now. I'll probably think of something I meant to say later, but I can just post again. Hope you're all well.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/428997.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Here goes.
Emma and I have moved in with Mum. Hill End is all cleaned up and is back to being a holiday house. We're in one bedroom here, and eventually will have a second for a craft room.
Life has been so, so super busy, and so intense. Packing, moving and cleaning here took several weeks. Then, once I felt at least two thirds settled, we had to do the last frantic push to clear and clean my grandparents' house, which my uncle had turned into a full on hoarder house over the last decade. Whatever you're thinking, yeah. It was that bad, and then some. Two full days of cleaning garbage, electronics, timber, glass, and a few actual things we wanted to keep, from first thing in the morning to after dark. Tip runs, barrow loads, scrubbing walls and floors, raking up millions of screws and electrical components, breathing in dirt, mould, fibreglass insulation and god knows what else. I ended up with cuts and bruises all over and a minor head injury. Good times. And I'm not exaggerating to say that without Brother2, Mum and myself it would not have been done. Both uncles were barely helping, and at times were actually obstructive. But we did it.
So.
Mum's house ended up packed full with stuff. Three households being pushed into one house. So much sorting. Lots of charity shop runs. Lots of trying to bring some kind of order. I did a lot, on my own, but the last two days, Mum really dug in and we sorted all the remaining stuff in about twelve hours. We now have all the rooms back to looking great that were packed full. We have a walkway from the back of the garage to the front. We have all the furniture accessible and able to be used. It's amazing. I could cry - it would have taken at least three weeks to work through it on my own.
We have a house we can live in again. Now I just have to maintain it. The kitchen I've been keeping up with - it's new, well-designed, and it is SO EASY to cook in and to keep up. I've been baking bread again. Now that there aren't piles of boxes everywhere, I should be able to keep up the floors. Mum has an elderly Roomba that I can let loose, and it saves so much time even if it misses bits. The garden - I've already weeded a few beds and planted tomatoes, potatoes, nasturtium, basil, broad beans, spinach, coriander, lavender, common sage, pineapple sage and also transplanted some rhubarb and rocket from my garden at Hill End. Ta had some very healthy happy herbs and has over a dozen citrus trees btween the front and back yards, so we should have heaps of fruit this summer. Now I just have to water regularly to get things through the heat. Don't have to stress about that today - it's been raining since I woke up.
One big blow was finding out after we moved in that someone, at some point had put three crates of our books outside in the yard, in the weather. Disaster. Over 270 books lost, and amongst them most of Emma's childhood books. We're sourcing replacements, but it's shattering. We spent three days crying, cataloguing and mourning. Our books are so important to us, and they were meant to be safe. They'd been in mum's garage because we had no room for them at Hill End, been carefully stowed in the garage because I knew there they would be safe. And someone, who knows who, chose to put them outside. The tubs were clear. I was obvious what was in them. It just felt so incredibly personal. Notable losses that cannot be replaced are Emma's copy of The Girl Who Swallowed Bees, of which there are no copies anywhere online for sale at any price, and my really old copy of Anne of Green Gables, which I now know was a first edition worth about $600. I've replaced a bunch of Emma's already from ebay, abebooks and charity shops. The rest will just take time and chance - I hope I can find most of them for under $5 each second hand from charity over the next few years.
I had to bow out of the Stucky Big Bang but my Marvel Bang story is all but finished, It isn't as complex, long and rich as I would have liked, but I essentially lost two months writing time. I'm just thrilled it's going to be able to be posted at all, because I love the whole idea, even if it isn't as polished as it would have been if I hadn't had to move house in the middle. Hopefully there will be some readers out there who will love it despite its rough and hurried state.
I haven't had time to read fic eaither, hence the hiatus from my rec posts, but I hope to get back into that soon. I have so many wonderful story notifications piled up in my inbox that I haven't even loaded up, let alone read. I'm feeling starved for fandom. And I'm diving into a new one - we discovered Leverage while in the process of packing to move, and our copies of the US releases arrived in the mail last week. There are commentaries on every episode and special features and that makes me SO HAPPY. I love all that stuff. And we'll try out The Librarians next since it's more Christian Kane and the same creative team. We also have the Deadpool and Civil War extras to watch, and I also bought The Rogue Cut of X-Men: DOFP for $15 a couple of days ago that we have yet to see. Behind on everything - STILL not seen the second seasons of Agent Carter or Daredevil, or season 3 of Agents of SHIELD. Still stalled halfway through season 3 of Once Upon A Time. Haven't seen season 15 of CSI, or like the last couple of seasons of Castle, and goodness knows what else. We want to try out a bunch of new shows, too, since my friends are raving about them, and I'm feeling left out, but we just have such a huge backlog and it's hard to find time to catch up.
Yesterday was my family birthday thing, which went well. We cooked lamb with rosemary, garlic and juniper, and a roast chicken, and plenty of roasted and steamed veg. I cooked brownies for dessert, but wasn't fussed with the result, fair too oily. I'll go back to my tried and true beetroot brownies recipe in future. I'll have dinner with friends next weekend, and I hope to adapt The Muddiest Chocolate and Vodka Mud Cake to be white chocolate and raspberry flavoured for that.
I don't really have a craft project right now. I want to get back into knitting socks, but I have no idea where my sock yarn is right now, so I'm continuing the Diagonal Block Stitch Square I began in February, purely because it's mindless, and because I knew where it was. It's just a basic acrylic yarn, a wildly bright red/yellow/blue/green verigate that I'll probably border in white or another stark contrast when it's done.
I think that's maybe it for now. I'll probably think of something I meant to say later, but I can just post again. Hope you're all well.
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Hi. Long time no whatever. Those of you on my access list will be able to see the post as to why, but for those casual readers who can't, let's just say life has been hard and that it's just going to be difficult for a while longer. I miss you all.
Anyway, I've been trying to keep up with recs, so here are the ones I've written down for the last few months in one big post. Look for the next post probably in early September.
This one's mostly Avengers with one UNCLE fic and one Leverage fic right at the end.
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Anyway, I've been trying to keep up with recs, so here are the ones I've written down for the last few months in one big post. Look for the next post probably in early September.
This one's mostly Avengers with one UNCLE fic and one Leverage fic right at the end.
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There's a mix this month, of Avengers recs, like usual, and a section of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. recs (the television series, NOT the movie). With the exception of a delightful fic that straddles both fandoms (to be found grouped with the UNCLE fics), you can easily find the fandom you're interested in by scrolling until you find it. I don't anticipate that amount of UNCLE fics being a regular thing in my recs post - for one thing, it's a tiny fandom with a closed canon, and I'm still very much a Marvel fan - but you might get a handful now and again.
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Because of family stuff, previously mentioned, here is a combined list for the past two months. It's not a long one, but there are quite a number of longfics and series, so you should still get good reading out of it.
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Some of you might have noticed that there was no fic list for February. That's because, as my friend Sam tells me, February is THE WORST MONTH. And yeah, this February, a lot of shit happened and I basically spent about zero time on the internet. I'll try to sum up what happened, but I don't really feel like talking about it at length, which is why I didn't end up posting about it at the time. Tw: cancer, death, family shit.
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Apologies for the delay - I've been overwhelmed with family emergency stuff, so this month's list is a little short and a week late. Hope you enjoy them all anyway. Avengers things plus one Miss Fisher rec.
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I read an article this week that basically scorned the whole #adulting tag as people wanting applause for doing what's required of them as adults, and how they should get over themselves. Sure, I can understand how people might find it annoying, but I'd like to throw another light on it.
I'm an adult. I'm actually older than the article writer. I've been living out in the real world beyond my mother's house since I was twenty-one. I rent a house. I have a car. I pay my bills. I'm also disabled. My partner of fifteen years is disabled, too.
My partner looks like an average woman in her early thirties. If people saw her out in public, they might question why we have a disabled placard for our car. If they saw her cane, they might immediately put it down to her being overweight. They can't see the connective tissue disorder she has that makes her joints prone to dislocations, her balance problems, her low blood pressure that causes fainting spells or her chronic pain and fatigue.
My own disabilities are more subtle. Physically, I'm able. Unless I had a panic attack or meltdown in front of someone, or wore one of my neurodiversity pride t-shirts, they wouldn't know that I'm living with autism, depression and severe anxiety. I pass well in casual interactions. I'm someone that people would assume had no reason to be unemployed, or to have failed to finish high school. But I'm on disability for very good reasons.
Living as we do, at home just about every day in a small village in a rural area, I imagine most people would expect our house to be perfect. After all, what else are we doing all day? I'll tell you right now – it's not. We have one big day a week when we go to town for shopping, medical appointments, and so on. It wipes my partner out for two days afterwards. By the end of the day, I'm exhausted, too. Interacting with people in crowded, noisy environments burns through my reserves a lot faster than people with less sensitive neurology. What we do on our 'big day' wouldn't seem like much to most people. It'd be a day of errands that barely scratched the surface of their ability to cope. But when you're starting with a finite amount of spoons, it takes its toll.
Once a month, we tend to do three things in our little village one after the other – visit the post office to collect our mail, take our bins to the local tip, and pay our rent. To do all three takes under an hour, but just about every time afterwards I say, “Well, yay for us for being fucking adults.” Why? Because it's an achievement. Because even though I probably still have dishes in my sink and laundry in the hamper, we've got three things done that are vital to our survival.
I got told recently that I needed to lose some weight for my health. For several reasons, exercising at home is not an option, so my only choice was to leave the house. Given that I was essentially couch-bound by severe anxiety earlier this year, getting up and out has been a major challenge for me. Have I been doing it? Yes. How much weight have I lost? That's not the point at all. This isn't an inspiration porn story about a disabled person 'overcoming' their condition and riding a wave of success to able-parity. The thing that I celebrate is every time I put on my shoes and walk out the door despite the agoraphobia and anxiety waiting like wolves to bite me. I'm not overcoming anything. I'm gauging my level and weighing the cost versus benefit of doing something. And the days I don't walk out that door? That's fine. I've learned to accept that every day is different, and that some days I'm more capable than others of doing things.
For those who might think, oh, well the article writer didn't mean people like you, she meant normal people, let me stop you right there. A big portion of the population has a disability. Sometimes it's obvious, but a lot of the time, it really isn't, and if you aren't disabled right now, there's a good chance you will be by old age. The great thing about the #adulting hashtag is that it's about celebrating the little victories. It's about giving yourself a high five for doing something difficult or unpleasant that you need to do for some reason or another. In a world that glorifies high successes but belittles everyday ones, it's a breath of fresh air. I don't think anyone who uses #adulting does it without a little dash of self-mockery, but that doesn't mean it deserves to be labelled as worthless, either.
So, the next time you see a tweet or a post from someone celebrating the bare minimum, remember – you don't know what it's really like for them. They could be dealing with chronic pain, mental health issues, stress, grief, debt, or a toxic home or work life. They could be straining under a heavy course load, or struggling to find their direction in life. They could be sad, or lonely, or bored, and using the #adulting tag could be their way of cheering themselves up. Without being in their shoes, you really can't tell. Sometimes, success is nailing a job interview, beating your personal best time, passing an exam or finding a partner, and sometimes, it's achieving pants. Celebrating the latter doesn't devalue the former, it just makes the world slightly less full of self-hatred, and for those of us who struggle to achieve the little things, it's really fucking important on the path to self-acceptance. So, scroll past or block the #adulting tag if it annoys you, but don't shit on those of us who choose to use it. A lot of us are shat on enough already.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/426931.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
I'm an adult. I'm actually older than the article writer. I've been living out in the real world beyond my mother's house since I was twenty-one. I rent a house. I have a car. I pay my bills. I'm also disabled. My partner of fifteen years is disabled, too.
My partner looks like an average woman in her early thirties. If people saw her out in public, they might question why we have a disabled placard for our car. If they saw her cane, they might immediately put it down to her being overweight. They can't see the connective tissue disorder she has that makes her joints prone to dislocations, her balance problems, her low blood pressure that causes fainting spells or her chronic pain and fatigue.
My own disabilities are more subtle. Physically, I'm able. Unless I had a panic attack or meltdown in front of someone, or wore one of my neurodiversity pride t-shirts, they wouldn't know that I'm living with autism, depression and severe anxiety. I pass well in casual interactions. I'm someone that people would assume had no reason to be unemployed, or to have failed to finish high school. But I'm on disability for very good reasons.
Living as we do, at home just about every day in a small village in a rural area, I imagine most people would expect our house to be perfect. After all, what else are we doing all day? I'll tell you right now – it's not. We have one big day a week when we go to town for shopping, medical appointments, and so on. It wipes my partner out for two days afterwards. By the end of the day, I'm exhausted, too. Interacting with people in crowded, noisy environments burns through my reserves a lot faster than people with less sensitive neurology. What we do on our 'big day' wouldn't seem like much to most people. It'd be a day of errands that barely scratched the surface of their ability to cope. But when you're starting with a finite amount of spoons, it takes its toll.
Once a month, we tend to do three things in our little village one after the other – visit the post office to collect our mail, take our bins to the local tip, and pay our rent. To do all three takes under an hour, but just about every time afterwards I say, “Well, yay for us for being fucking adults.” Why? Because it's an achievement. Because even though I probably still have dishes in my sink and laundry in the hamper, we've got three things done that are vital to our survival.
I got told recently that I needed to lose some weight for my health. For several reasons, exercising at home is not an option, so my only choice was to leave the house. Given that I was essentially couch-bound by severe anxiety earlier this year, getting up and out has been a major challenge for me. Have I been doing it? Yes. How much weight have I lost? That's not the point at all. This isn't an inspiration porn story about a disabled person 'overcoming' their condition and riding a wave of success to able-parity. The thing that I celebrate is every time I put on my shoes and walk out the door despite the agoraphobia and anxiety waiting like wolves to bite me. I'm not overcoming anything. I'm gauging my level and weighing the cost versus benefit of doing something. And the days I don't walk out that door? That's fine. I've learned to accept that every day is different, and that some days I'm more capable than others of doing things.
For those who might think, oh, well the article writer didn't mean people like you, she meant normal people, let me stop you right there. A big portion of the population has a disability. Sometimes it's obvious, but a lot of the time, it really isn't, and if you aren't disabled right now, there's a good chance you will be by old age. The great thing about the #adulting hashtag is that it's about celebrating the little victories. It's about giving yourself a high five for doing something difficult or unpleasant that you need to do for some reason or another. In a world that glorifies high successes but belittles everyday ones, it's a breath of fresh air. I don't think anyone who uses #adulting does it without a little dash of self-mockery, but that doesn't mean it deserves to be labelled as worthless, either.
So, the next time you see a tweet or a post from someone celebrating the bare minimum, remember – you don't know what it's really like for them. They could be dealing with chronic pain, mental health issues, stress, grief, debt, or a toxic home or work life. They could be straining under a heavy course load, or struggling to find their direction in life. They could be sad, or lonely, or bored, and using the #adulting tag could be their way of cheering themselves up. Without being in their shoes, you really can't tell. Sometimes, success is nailing a job interview, beating your personal best time, passing an exam or finding a partner, and sometimes, it's achieving pants. Celebrating the latter doesn't devalue the former, it just makes the world slightly less full of self-hatred, and for those of us who struggle to achieve the little things, it's really fucking important on the path to self-acceptance. So, scroll past or block the #adulting tag if it annoys you, but don't shit on those of us who choose to use it. A lot of us are shat on enough already.
This entry was originally posted at http://iamshadow.dreamwidth.org/426931.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
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