Our India Adoption Journey

Patience is a “what”?  A virtue, right, a good quality.  Hmmm…well I think sometimes I tend to confuse waiting due to lack of control with being patient.  And it’s not the same.  Having a high anxiety level while waiting for something to happen through this process is not being patient.  Forcing myself to wait 3 more days before I call our agency again to ask a million more questions that I know there are no answers for yet is not being patient.  🙂  I have heard all the sayings and stories that went along with the adoption process.  “Your patience will be tested”, “The wait is so hard.”  All of that and I thought to myself, “I can handle it.  Besides it’s the money part that freaks me out.”  Well leave it God to set me straight on this one yet again.  Since we officially started the process, (i.e. turned in our application) I have not worried about the cost associated with bringing our Baby Girl home.  It’s strange to me still but I knew 100% without a doubt that we were supposed to be doing this and that if God told us to then He would provide a way.  And he has so far, through family, friends, us being better stewards of our personal finances, and many other avenues to come (for there is still a LOT to come).  But the wait… Has. Been. Killing. Me..  Honestly, I felt like we flew through the first part of the process of gathering all our documents, the homestudy, getting registered officially, fingerprints, USCIS approvals, and the works.  And now what?  I want to be flying.  But we’re still taxiing on the runway!  And I’m not being a patient person like I’m supposed to be all the time.  Some days I’m fine and I realize that there really is nothing I can do but pray about it.  Then other days I’m Googling everything I can think of for some clue about anyone else in the U.S adopting from Ind*a and where they are in the process thinking that it will somehow help.  It’s frustrating at times to say the least. 

All that said, so many things have happened in this process already that I am dying to see how God connects all the dots.  I pray all the time for some clue as to why things have gone the way that they have and what the purpose was of all of this for us.  What am I supposed to learn?  I know one day that I’ll look back and say “Ah ha! I get it now.”  But being in the present is hard and I don’t know when exactly that day will come. 

A few weeks ago, we were sitting here thinking we had a highly likely match to a sweet little girl.  We saw her, we knew some of her challenges, and were so ready to get the ball moving to get her home.  We didn’t tell anybody, we said we would wait until we got her full medical information and all and knew more before we shared anything.  We found out where she was being taken care of in the country and were excited to look it up and learn about the area.  There was a slight mix up in information and a week later we found out where she really was living.  It was in South Ind*a, I won’t give specifics, because even though she will not be out sweet girl, I don’t know exactly what information I’m supposed to share on a blog and not.  Anyhow, I received an email of the name of the facility where she was and what city she was in.  This was huge, not only just to have some information on her but for another reason.  Because just a month earlier (on John’s birthday to be exact) before we knew of her location, we received our first donation online from our website.  The person who donated followed up with an email to John (on his birthday mind you).  He told us he had read John’s book and that he wanted to say he was praying for us and asked us to pray for his family.  So cool right?  At the end of the email he types his name and then the city he is from.  Surprise….he’s from Ind*a!!  How neat that our first adoption donation online is from a family in Ind*a.  Then fast-forward a couple of weeks and we find out where that sweet little girl is from and low and behold it’s from the exact same city.  So, naturally, we were then convinced that she was going to be our daughter.  I mean what were the odds, John’s birthday, donation from Ind*a, Baby Girl is in the same city.  But fast-forward again a week and we get the heart breaking news that the agencies on their end are not updating the system in a timely manner and she was actually already assigned to another family! So heartbreaking.  And truly, we are glad that she has a family that wants to love her and that there is one less orphan, we were just hoping that family would be us.  So, we’ll keep her picture on our fridge and continue to pray for her each day.  But I can’t help but wonder how God is going to connect these dots or what exactly He is teaching us with this part of the process.  I know it was not all for no good reason or just a weird coincidence.  I know that!

So, please be praying for us, for real patience!  And that God will indeed connect the dots for us.  He knows where our Baby Girl is and when it will happen. 

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!” Psalm 27:14