During the phone consultation the RE asked if our FET calendar worked out well for our schedule.
Remember 33 days of birth control pills? "Well.....," we said.... I almost felt like we were going behind the nurse's back who made the calendar.
Yesterday the nurse called with a new calendar, moving the transfer date up by 10 days! Instead of 33 days of birth control pills, 26.
Here is my updated FET schedule:
3/19: cycle day 1--start BCP
3/26: phone consult with RE (is this the WFT appointment?).
4/9: start 10 units Lupron, Doxycycline, Aspirin (I'll continue aspirin well into the (hopeful) pregnancy.
4/13: last BCP, wait for period
4/19: Estradiol blood draw and injection teaching (boo, intramuscular injections this time!), decrease Lupron units, last doxycycline
4/23: start Delestrogen injections twice weekly in increasing doses
5/2: Lining Check and bloodwork
5/8: Stop Lupron. Start Progesterone in oil injections.
5/10: blood work--E2 and P4. start medrol and doxycycline
5/14: transfer, last medrol and doxycline.
5/24: Beta hcg and last estrogen injection. If positive I will add Endometrin progesterone
----
Much better.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Phone Consult
Today F and I had a phone consult with the RE to finally review our IVF cycle. I think we kind of fell through the cracks as we waited for the miscarriage/since there was a miscarriage. I only found out that we were supposed to have a consult before proceeding with next steps (FET) when I called to get the results of my final beta hcg. Then had to wait 2 weeks to get an appointment.
Regardless, my birth control pill cycle is underway and today we have had the consult in which we review the IVF cycle. According to the RE, the cycle went really well (up until the miscarriage) and he made us feel hopeful about our chances with FET.
Still, my biggest insecurity is that although we had a very high fertilization rate (9 out of 10 eggs) and our blastocysts looked great, our embryos are ultimately genetically abnormal and will not develop. The RE told us that while abnormality was probably the case with the embryo I miscarried, there is no reason to question the quality of the remaining embryos.......yet.
Yet. See my fear? We won't know until we try and lose again. I know this is always the hardest part.
Which brings us to the second hardest part. Do we try another single embryo transfer? The remainder of our talk with the RE concerned eSET.
He is certainly supportive of our decision to try eSET again. Embryos in his lab have a 90% chance of surviving the thaw process. We have 4 that were frozen individually. If we thaw one and it doesn't make it, we will have time to thaw another before the transfer.
However, there are situations and statistics to consider:
The success rates of eSET for a frozen cycle are not well documented, especially at my clinic.
What if the embryos don't look as great once they are thawed?
The overall chance of twins is not as high for a frozen cycle as it is for a fresh IVF cycle.
This shouldn't be a factor, or maybe it should, but it is--under the shared risk plan we entered, if this FET does not work, our next cycle will be a fresh IVF, even if we have frozen embryos left over.
Again, my fear that all or most of our embryos are genetically abnormal and will not develop--would I still be pregnant with one if we had transferred two?
And--the RE recommends that we transfer 2 embryos.
He told us to take our time and think about it. The decision is ours (if our embryos cooperate).
After we ended the call we made our decision. F said, "Fuck it, let's transfer two." I said okay and instantly felt a weight lift off my conscience. This decision has rekindled the excitement I felt going into IVF. A feeling of hope. Less urgency.
2 months til transfer.
Regardless, my birth control pill cycle is underway and today we have had the consult in which we review the IVF cycle. According to the RE, the cycle went really well (up until the miscarriage) and he made us feel hopeful about our chances with FET.
Still, my biggest insecurity is that although we had a very high fertilization rate (9 out of 10 eggs) and our blastocysts looked great, our embryos are ultimately genetically abnormal and will not develop. The RE told us that while abnormality was probably the case with the embryo I miscarried, there is no reason to question the quality of the remaining embryos.......yet.
Yet. See my fear? We won't know until we try and lose again. I know this is always the hardest part.
Which brings us to the second hardest part. Do we try another single embryo transfer? The remainder of our talk with the RE concerned eSET.
He is certainly supportive of our decision to try eSET again. Embryos in his lab have a 90% chance of surviving the thaw process. We have 4 that were frozen individually. If we thaw one and it doesn't make it, we will have time to thaw another before the transfer.
However, there are situations and statistics to consider:
The success rates of eSET for a frozen cycle are not well documented, especially at my clinic.
What if the embryos don't look as great once they are thawed?
The overall chance of twins is not as high for a frozen cycle as it is for a fresh IVF cycle.
This shouldn't be a factor, or maybe it should, but it is--under the shared risk plan we entered, if this FET does not work, our next cycle will be a fresh IVF, even if we have frozen embryos left over.
Again, my fear that all or most of our embryos are genetically abnormal and will not develop--would I still be pregnant with one if we had transferred two?
And--the RE recommends that we transfer 2 embryos.
He told us to take our time and think about it. The decision is ours (if our embryos cooperate).
After we ended the call we made our decision. F said, "Fuck it, let's transfer two." I said okay and instantly felt a weight lift off my conscience. This decision has rekindled the excitement I felt going into IVF. A feeling of hope. Less urgency.
2 months til transfer.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
33 days of Birth Control Pills!
It is like killing time when your RE is too busy to schedule your FET cycle to coincide with your menstrual cycle. I'll just continue taking birth control pills until it is convenient for you, Dr. Alas, 33 days of Birth control pills is better than sitting out an entire cycle, I think?
Regardless, I got my FET calendar today. The 33 days of birth control pills puts my transfer date off until the end of May.
Here is my looong trajectory:
3/19: cycle day 1--start BCP
3/26: phone consult with RE (is this the WFT appointment?).
4/16: start 10 units Lupron, Doxycycline, Aspirin (I'll continue aspirin well into the (hopeful) pregnancy.
4/20: last BCP
4/26: bloodwork and injection teaching (boo, intramuscular injections this time!), possibly lower Lupron units, last doxycycline
4/30: (if menses started, start Delestrogen injections twice weekly in increasing doses)
5/9: Lining Check
5/17: Stop Lupron. Start Progesterone in oil injections.
5/18: blood work. start medrol and doxycycline
5/23: transfer (would like to do SET again, but we will go with RE's and embryologist's recommendation), last medrol and doxycline.
6/1: Beta hcg and last estrogen injection. If positive I will add Endometrin progesterone
It is March still and I am looking ahead to June, and that is okay. Thank you all for your supportive comments to my Cycle Day 1 post. I am feeling more optimistic, or less fearful, by the day. It is a struggle but it helps to know I have friends cheering me on.
Happy ICLW! For those of you new to my blog, I am starting my first FET cycle after IVF #1 resulted in a miscarriage at 6 weeks. Thanks for stopping by.
Regardless, I got my FET calendar today. The 33 days of birth control pills puts my transfer date off until the end of May.
Here is my looong trajectory:
3/19: cycle day 1--start BCP
3/26: phone consult with RE (is this the WFT appointment?).
4/16: start 10 units Lupron, Doxycycline, Aspirin (I'll continue aspirin well into the (hopeful) pregnancy.
4/20: last BCP
4/26: bloodwork and injection teaching (boo, intramuscular injections this time!), possibly lower Lupron units, last doxycycline
4/30: (if menses started, start Delestrogen injections twice weekly in increasing doses)
5/9: Lining Check
5/17: Stop Lupron. Start Progesterone in oil injections.
5/18: blood work. start medrol and doxycycline
5/23: transfer (would like to do SET again, but we will go with RE's and embryologist's recommendation), last medrol and doxycline.
6/1: Beta hcg and last estrogen injection. If positive I will add Endometrin progesterone
It is March still and I am looking ahead to June, and that is okay. Thank you all for your supportive comments to my Cycle Day 1 post. I am feeling more optimistic, or less fearful, by the day. It is a struggle but it helps to know I have friends cheering me on.
Happy ICLW! For those of you new to my blog, I am starting my first FET cycle after IVF #1 resulted in a miscarriage at 6 weeks. Thanks for stopping by.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Cycle Day 1
Finally.
It is time to move on now. It has been 4 months since my IVF retrieval, 3 months since the miscarriage was diagnosed, 6 weeks since the miscarriage.
This is where I am now. Cycle Day 1.
Cycle Day 1 is always a hard day, even though I've been waiting and waiting for it to arrive. Now that it has arrived, I feel...I don't know, maybe more depressed than I did waiting for the miscarriage? Instead of imagining what the FET will be like, getting excited for it...instead, I thought of the miscarriage today; I thought about the day I found out I was pregnant. And I thought about not being pregnant, of being so close and of having to start all over again. I thought of giving up. I thought of basically every negative, fear filled thought you can imagine. All of it. My attitude is low.
This is no way to start a new cycle.
My first IVF was exciting. I don't feel that this time. I really want to. I want to be optimistic. I am just so scared that it won't work again.
It is time to move on now. It has been 4 months since my IVF retrieval, 3 months since the miscarriage was diagnosed, 6 weeks since the miscarriage.
This is where I am now. Cycle Day 1.
Cycle Day 1 is always a hard day, even though I've been waiting and waiting for it to arrive. Now that it has arrived, I feel...I don't know, maybe more depressed than I did waiting for the miscarriage? Instead of imagining what the FET will be like, getting excited for it...instead, I thought of the miscarriage today; I thought about the day I found out I was pregnant. And I thought about not being pregnant, of being so close and of having to start all over again. I thought of giving up. I thought of basically every negative, fear filled thought you can imagine. All of it. My attitude is low.
This is no way to start a new cycle.
My first IVF was exciting. I don't feel that this time. I really want to. I want to be optimistic. I am just so scared that it won't work again.
Friday, March 16, 2012
I've Been Lapped By an Infertile!
Let me start by saying that I fully expect to get lapped (in births) by fertile friends and acquaintances. The average age difference between siblings is 2.5 - 3 years apart. F and I have been trying to get me pregnant for 3 full years now--all of 2009, 2010 and 2011. Friends that had babies in 2009 are currently gestating or planning for baby #2. Unfair, but I can deal with it.
However, to my shock and dismay, I have been lapped by a fellow infertile. Actually she is super "fertile," she just happens to have PCOS. Give her injections and she gets knocked up lickety-split. At least that is how I perceive it. We really aren't close and I found out about her fertility treatments on facebook. She had her first injectable IUI in early 2010 and a baby 9 months later. You know, it's 2012 and she already has another baby due in October. No, not just another baby--TWINS.
I am happy for her. 3 babies in 3 years. Way to go Gonadotropins.
However, to my shock and dismay, I have been lapped by a fellow infertile. Actually she is super "fertile," she just happens to have PCOS. Give her injections and she gets knocked up lickety-split. At least that is how I perceive it. We really aren't close and I found out about her fertility treatments on facebook. She had her first injectable IUI in early 2010 and a baby 9 months later. You know, it's 2012 and she already has another baby due in October. No, not just another baby--TWINS.
I am happy for her. 3 babies in 3 years. Way to go Gonadotropins.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
ZERO
I've been really busy and haven't really had an opportunity to post in what feels like a month. I do find these brief breaks from writing about infertility just as therapeutic as writing about infertility itself. I spent a lot of time in a miscarriage time warp. It was nice to let that go.
And it is officially gone. My last Bhcg was ZERO, or close enough, as I did not ask for the exact number.
Good Riddance, hcg.
I wrote about charting my temperature while waiting for the miscarriage to happen--to monitor for a drop in temperature that might signal the onset of the m/c. I continued into the cycle following the miscarriage, to see if I would ovulate and to (maybe) attempt to predict when my first menstrual period post-m/c will start (I am so ready to begin my FET cycle. it cannot get here fast enough). It looks like a ovulated somewhere between 26 and 29 days after the actual miscarriage. Fertility Friend says I am 9 dpo.
I am expecting AF any day now. I have my Birth Control Pills ready. If a typical FET cycle takes 8 weeks, that puts my transfer date in early May. It seems far away, but I'll take it. I'll even welcome the Lupron.
And it is officially gone. My last Bhcg was ZERO, or close enough, as I did not ask for the exact number.
Good Riddance, hcg.
I wrote about charting my temperature while waiting for the miscarriage to happen--to monitor for a drop in temperature that might signal the onset of the m/c. I continued into the cycle following the miscarriage, to see if I would ovulate and to (maybe) attempt to predict when my first menstrual period post-m/c will start (I am so ready to begin my FET cycle. it cannot get here fast enough). It looks like a ovulated somewhere between 26 and 29 days after the actual miscarriage. Fertility Friend says I am 9 dpo.
I am expecting AF any day now. I have my Birth Control Pills ready. If a typical FET cycle takes 8 weeks, that puts my transfer date in early May. It seems far away, but I'll take it. I'll even welcome the Lupron.
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