Wonderfully Boy
Soaking in the moment
Beads fall from his check and drop down his chin.
A little uncertain he slows their quickened pace.
Tender, cautious steps-
One last look to his Mothers turned back
And closer he walks to the beckoning hole.
The sand of yesterday floods and darkens.
A raised leg
A bent knee
He plunges down hard-
Brilliantly.
His face; streaked with evidence of his feat
Rises at the turn of his mouth
And his smile turned up in the wet of the rain
Washes the naughty away.
My aunt asked me to write "something" about boys for a newsletter she does for her school. YIKES.
This kind of creative freedom is both relieving and distressing.
I can't write under pressure for one. Secondly I am too terrified that what I come up with would be completely different then what she had in mind.
So I told her I couldn't...but then I did. A little late (when the date had passed and the pressure was off...)
Jon doesn't understand poetry...he couldn't figure out what this was a bout in the least...A mudpuddle
My favorite line is "evidence of his feat" it is a double entendre...get it...feat/feet...
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
"Visit Cat"
Our neighbors cat (which we have found out has once belonged to just about everyone on our street at one point or another as one neighbor originally found him abandoned as a kitten in the woods behind our houses)whom Ben calls "visit cat" for obvious reasons, is NOT going to become our cat no matter how often he hangs around digging up our garden (which will get more plants and less weeds this week...) and wooing us with pooping in the sandbox.
Sorry boys. Not happening.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Before and After
When we purchased our home I knew there was a dream list I wanted to get to work on right away... it was toned down significantly through budgetary constraints but I was able to get creative and discover how to decorate on a budget...and show patience as all the projects couldn't get done when I wanted them to. I will give the cost breakdown because I am always curious when I hear "decorating on a budget" what does that ACTUALLY mean and does my budget and yours really mean the same thing...
I am still working on the family room, the bedrooms and the main floor bath so I won't share those...but here is the main floor...done!
Kitchen- cabinet repainting and hardware- $1300
-Table and chairs $40.00 (kijiji) These are temporary, I am looking for a distressed black set.
-Family photos in frame behind table (re purposed- covered over old painting in the frame)
living/dining room
-floors $400.00
-black sectional- $400.00 (kijiji)
-paint $250.00 (I had painted myself and then had professionals come in and do the trim when they did the cabinets)
-light- gifts
-lantern- $25.00 and plant was free
-white distressed side board and cabinet $20.00 for both (my best ever yard sale find!)
-Rustic pier one table and chairs- $350.00 (kijiji!)
-clock- $30.00 (Homescense)
-"family" wall hanging $40.00 (Homescense)
-Shag rug- $175.00 (Costco)
- Ikea buffet and hutch- $70.00 (kijiji)
-White dishes in hutch- $4.00 thrift stores (baskets were gifts)
Total- $2940
Friday, May 13, 2011
Big Boys
Ben was welcomed outside into the neighborhood club of "big kids" a few nights ago...these 5 and up boys have cool toys he has never seen the likes of like "air rockets, pokemon cards and hexbugs" they patiently showed him their toys, let him have turns, explained in great detail the health numbers on the pokemon cards while he nodded obediently in interest. They played Tag up the sidewalk and showed him the Harley in the garage across the house from us. When he ooohed and ahhhhed in enough amazement the Mother plopped him on the seat to test it out and Jack (8) gave him a motorcycle toy that he doesn't play with anymore. Nathan (5)gave him a dandelion when it was time to wonder back to our driveway which he clutched to his chest until we got home and he wrapped it in suran wrap and tucked in the pages of a book beside his bed. 5 year old boys, it would seem are the equivalent to superhero's to 3 year old boys. We can skip Disney now because it wouldn't even come close.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Right Now
So as we don't think our scrumptious little boys are all work and no fun let me assure you they are mostly fun and a little work (that little one is a going concern..he thinks he is 8...)
Right now...
Jacob dances like a champ...he has the rythem of his father and I but he works it out with some feet taping, hands clappping and hands waving.
Ben wants to the know the name of every street we are on...he is getting so he can give me directions! (What is this enviable link between testosterone and sense of direction?!)
Jacob points to his nose when asked about every body part...I know he "knows" the right answer though...he just loves his nose.
Ben desperately wants a pet. So far we have had "Anty" "Hoppy" "Snaily" and "visit cat" ... they have so far all died or ran away. Each time devastation in our midst. The last time "visit Cat" went back home to our neighbors house Ben came in sobbing and laid down as only the broken hearted can do on the couch. "why are you crying Ben?" "Because I just want a pet sooooooo baaaaadly...I just waaaaaant a little peeeeet to loooooove" he wailed.
Oh geez. The heartstrings yanked me right over to google where I found the most suitable of pets for the cat and dog allergic...mini pigs! Google them...you will be so jel!
Jake has no fear...at the park he will go on anything and has no sense of height or injury in the least. I follow him around for 15 minutes and then bring a bag of snacks to bribe him to stay sitting with me. It is going to be a long summer...that I pray we make through with no appendages in casts.
Ben is so independent... I love love love watching them delight in learning new things. He amazes me at how he picks up new things so quickly.
Jake is a goofball- he is silly, adorable, funny and loves to make people laugh.
Ben likes to pick out his own clothes now. Sigh...
Jake is the most outgoing toddler I have ever seen. At our library program we attended for the first time this week he marched in to the room, went around to each person, waved and said "Hi" (the word he has been trying so hard to master) then picked up a book from the librarians pile and flopped himself into the lap of another Mother who jumped with surprise as he grinned and waved the book at her. He leaned against her chest waiting for him to read while everyone else tried not to laugh.
Ben is OBSESSED with monster trucks. We have watched every video on You tube.
Jake loves bubble baths and birds.
They get along well and take care of each other. I am loving this time with them...really really loving it.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
An Extra Dose...
I have a friend named Ali. We write each other emails multiple times a week, it is our own private, 2 member support group. We each have sons who have anaphylactic allergies and sons with chronic medical conditions. So we understand each other. We can talk to each other freely about our fears, our concerns for the future (teenage boys...) and offer support when the other is feeling particularly overwhelmed. We keep each other updated on medical appointments and are uniquely invested in the others children, we swap resources and recipes and vent when we need to. I am so grateful for her.
Last week I was updating her on Ben's dismal results from his updated allergy test he had done. During a skin prick test a tiny amount of the protein is put under the skin. The inflammation level is measured where the allergen was placed. The scale ranges from 1-5 meaning a 5 mm round welt would indicate a serious allergy. Ben's welt to peanuts measured 16 mm. To say he has a serious allergy then is an understatement.
He also remains allergic to eggs and all tree nuts as well as dogs and cats. Dairy was cleared for allergens but after introducing it to his diet were cleaning up diarrhea all week so that excitement was short lived.
I received true sympathy from my friend as she knows exactly how I feel. And we were so hopeful that these tests would show positive changes.
Every Mother worries about her children. Car accidents, chocking, falling out of trees...but everyone around children knows these are dangers. In thinking of a comparable analogy I thought it would be like cyanide. Of course no one gives this deadly poison to their children. It could be lethal in minutes. But what if one day it wasn't dangerous anymore, in fact it was delicious and desirable and it was everywhere. All the kids were eating in in chocolate, granola bars, sandwiches...the children were all fine with consuming this now. Except your child. It remained just as poisonous as ever to your child...but now you are all on your own...trying to keep your child away from it. It is, a lonely and frightening place to be.
This fear is something we talk about frequently. As LDS and Islamic women we are both very devoted, through different faiths to God. We wonder together often... as we both tend to worry more than average anyhow why God thought it best to give us children who needed an extra dose of that worry. I am still unsure. I hope I am the best choice for Ben's Mother. I am certainly grateful for him, and He knows the degree to which I love him. But I am all out of Worry. Because then their is Jacob.
Jacob has a genetic disease (I don't even like writing that...it sounds so ominous). called Von Willebrand disease. He was diagnosed at a few months of age after the pediatrician wanted further tests done for the size of the hemotoma's on his head after he was born.
(Von Willebrand disease (VWD) is a bleeding disorder. It affects your blood's ability to clot. If your blood doesn't clot, you can have heavy, hard-to-stop bleeding after an injury.
In VWD, you either have low levels of a certain protein in your blood, or the protein doesn't work the way it should. The protein is called von Willebrand factor, and it helps the blood clot, when this is absent or not working properly then it effects the bodies ability to stop bleeding".
Jacob usually has purple marks on him, evidence of the small bumps that react dramatically in exaggerated bruising. A bruise large enough for someone to say "oh my, what happened to his poor forehead" was nothing more then bumping himself on the table. I don't think about it very much because there is nothing that I wouldn't be already doing to prevent it, short of putting him in a helmet and a bubble.
Then he fell down the stairs.
The stairs are always my fear. The are steep and end in hard ceramic. I hate them.
Then my baby fell down them because I thought the gate was closed, so did he...
He pushed on it to tell me he wanted down and head first he went. The gate was closed, but not latched shut all the way.
My heart was in my throat as I flew to the top of the stairs. Everything I had read about VWD came barreling into my thoughts. Could he hemorrhage, what if there was internal bleeding that I didn't know about, had he broken something? At the top of the stairs I stopped short. He was laying on a track of soft diaper packages that Ben had put together of too small diapers that I had left by the door to return to the store. Relief isn't even close to what I felt as I imagined the impact the solid stone floor would have had. He cried for a few minutes, demanded more then a few kisses and he was off again.
I wrote what I have finally learned, to Ali after that incident. Really we are quite fortunate because as God sent us children who needed an extra dose of our worry, He sent an extra dose of his angels as well.
Last week I was updating her on Ben's dismal results from his updated allergy test he had done. During a skin prick test a tiny amount of the protein is put under the skin. The inflammation level is measured where the allergen was placed. The scale ranges from 1-5 meaning a 5 mm round welt would indicate a serious allergy. Ben's welt to peanuts measured 16 mm. To say he has a serious allergy then is an understatement.
He also remains allergic to eggs and all tree nuts as well as dogs and cats. Dairy was cleared for allergens but after introducing it to his diet were cleaning up diarrhea all week so that excitement was short lived.
I received true sympathy from my friend as she knows exactly how I feel. And we were so hopeful that these tests would show positive changes.
Every Mother worries about her children. Car accidents, chocking, falling out of trees...but everyone around children knows these are dangers. In thinking of a comparable analogy I thought it would be like cyanide. Of course no one gives this deadly poison to their children. It could be lethal in minutes. But what if one day it wasn't dangerous anymore, in fact it was delicious and desirable and it was everywhere. All the kids were eating in in chocolate, granola bars, sandwiches...the children were all fine with consuming this now. Except your child. It remained just as poisonous as ever to your child...but now you are all on your own...trying to keep your child away from it. It is, a lonely and frightening place to be.
This fear is something we talk about frequently. As LDS and Islamic women we are both very devoted, through different faiths to God. We wonder together often... as we both tend to worry more than average anyhow why God thought it best to give us children who needed an extra dose of that worry. I am still unsure. I hope I am the best choice for Ben's Mother. I am certainly grateful for him, and He knows the degree to which I love him. But I am all out of Worry. Because then their is Jacob.
Jacob has a genetic disease (I don't even like writing that...it sounds so ominous). called Von Willebrand disease. He was diagnosed at a few months of age after the pediatrician wanted further tests done for the size of the hemotoma's on his head after he was born.
(Von Willebrand disease (VWD) is a bleeding disorder. It affects your blood's ability to clot. If your blood doesn't clot, you can have heavy, hard-to-stop bleeding after an injury.
In VWD, you either have low levels of a certain protein in your blood, or the protein doesn't work the way it should. The protein is called von Willebrand factor, and it helps the blood clot, when this is absent or not working properly then it effects the bodies ability to stop bleeding".
Jacob usually has purple marks on him, evidence of the small bumps that react dramatically in exaggerated bruising. A bruise large enough for someone to say "oh my, what happened to his poor forehead" was nothing more then bumping himself on the table. I don't think about it very much because there is nothing that I wouldn't be already doing to prevent it, short of putting him in a helmet and a bubble.
Then he fell down the stairs.
The stairs are always my fear. The are steep and end in hard ceramic. I hate them.
Then my baby fell down them because I thought the gate was closed, so did he...
He pushed on it to tell me he wanted down and head first he went. The gate was closed, but not latched shut all the way.
My heart was in my throat as I flew to the top of the stairs. Everything I had read about VWD came barreling into my thoughts. Could he hemorrhage, what if there was internal bleeding that I didn't know about, had he broken something? At the top of the stairs I stopped short. He was laying on a track of soft diaper packages that Ben had put together of too small diapers that I had left by the door to return to the store. Relief isn't even close to what I felt as I imagined the impact the solid stone floor would have had. He cried for a few minutes, demanded more then a few kisses and he was off again.
I wrote what I have finally learned, to Ali after that incident. Really we are quite fortunate because as God sent us children who needed an extra dose of our worry, He sent an extra dose of his angels as well.
Monday, May 9, 2011
"Mommy"
I love being a "Mommy".
When I hear my children call me "Mommy" (or "mama...")my heart swells just a little each time. It is the sweetest of words. In two small syllables I am reminded of purpose. Joy. Blessings. I feel I am all of me when little arms wrap themselves around my legs and I hear a tiny voice utter that word. Anyone else who is graced with small children in their life and privileged enough to be their "Mommy" know the warmth and unique love that small children carry in this word.
This Mother's day I received breakfast in bed, dandelions for my hair (pre taped...so they wouldn't fall out!)cards and visits with two other special "Mommy's" in our life (who make equally wonderful grandmothers!) I was reminded a little bit extra how Mother's, the becoming and the having... are such a blessing.
When I hear my children call me "Mommy" (or "mama...")my heart swells just a little each time. It is the sweetest of words. In two small syllables I am reminded of purpose. Joy. Blessings. I feel I am all of me when little arms wrap themselves around my legs and I hear a tiny voice utter that word. Anyone else who is graced with small children in their life and privileged enough to be their "Mommy" know the warmth and unique love that small children carry in this word.
This Mother's day I received breakfast in bed, dandelions for my hair (pre taped...so they wouldn't fall out!)cards and visits with two other special "Mommy's" in our life (who make equally wonderful grandmothers!) I was reminded a little bit extra how Mother's, the becoming and the having... are such a blessing.
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