Rainbow Rice Update

Considering the amount of rice we are STILL finding..it has now officially become an outdoor activity...

Rainbow Rice

Thank you pinterest for the idea and my friend Cheryl for the motivation to actually DO it.
Yes, the boys loved it! Ben in particular spent hours (hours!) in the bucket of rice.

I used an 8 kg bag of white rice, 4 ziplock bags, food colouring and vinegar (instead of rubbing alcohol to help the colour set) Ben and I took about 3 cups of rice and 8-10 drops of food colouring with 1 tablespoon of white vinegar and mixed it together in a ziplock bag. We did this for 5 different colours and then spread the rice out on baking sheets. baking the rice at 175 degrees for about 15 minutes helps it dry quicker, it took 3 batches to get it all done. I poured the rest of the white rice into the bin as well.

It was a hit! Well worth the mess...

Jacob's Kryptonite

Jacob is our fearless child.
We have two nicknames for him- the Honey Badger (an animal notorious for being deceivingly cute and innocent looking but ruthless and scared of nothing. He will chew the head of a snake, pass out from the venom, wake up and finish the rest of him...that sums up Jacob). The other name is the "Savage" as in the Ninny and the Savage...the ninny is his nervous, hand ringing, lip chewing big brother who has always been very calculating, safe, low risk, concerned with bodily harm and terrified of his little brothers haphazardness to the point of having nightmares about Jacob's latest escapade.

Until our new addition...

DUH DUH DUHHHHHHHHH.....!!!!!


Yes, that is correct we got a new (to us...refurbished for an awesome price actually) Dyson vacuum for our new house (no central vacuum there so we needed to buy one). From the moment I first turned it on he FREAKED OUT! hysterical crying, shaking, sobbing, clutching my legs and simultaneously trying to run away from the (admittedly much louder) machine.
Now I have to vacuum only when he is napping or someone can hold him at a safe distance (where he will still cry and shriek the closer it gets to him). We keep it i nthe hall closet and EVERY time he goes to get his boots he jumps as soon as he sees it, runs up the stairs with his hands over his ears and whimpers "noooo".

It is pathetic...but I am somewhat reassured that there is some fear in there.

This particular picture happened because Jon only MENTIONED needing to vacuum (again because there was still hidden rice from the popular rainbow rice).

My Big Babies

Ben and Jake are a little, understandably preoccupied with babies. Jacob has always loved babies and adores when Ben will play "Baby Jacob" with him. Ben covers him up with a blanket, gives him a bottle and a soother and pats his head, calling him "baby"...Jacob is thrilled. NOW Jacob wants Ben to alternate who is the baby so they went back and forth being babies for the morning. I had to laugh when Jacob tried to hold "baby Ben" on his little lap. They are going to be wonderful big brothers, this little lady is a lucky one!

Two for Two

Aren't my boys pathetic when they are sick? By mid morning Ben was fevered and crying (he melts at everything when he is sick, he HATES having anything wrong with him...a hangnail will top a days conversation should one dare arise on a finger...so anything more than that qualifies total catastrophe). Tomorrow I fear my lap might now be big enough for the "3" of them...

Jakey

Poor Jake. This boy is a whirlwind of non stop energy. He plays hard and then he sleeps hard. He stops only to eat...which he also does with great gusto.

Then my Jakey moped around for a day...he laid on the carpet...then he asked for his "bobble" to go to bed early...then he woke up hot, oozing, coughing, and sucky. Jake was sick! this is unheard of! Once he got a weird rash...and other than that I can't think of a time when Jake has been truly out of commission.

20 minutes after Jon got him out of bed he was asleep again on the couch...with untouched breakfast beside him! This alone should have caused a 911 call I am sure...we opted for the clinic instead. He promptly told the nurse his ear "owie owie" and sure enough on top of a nasty virus he also has an ear infection. He laid on my lap for an hour in the waiting room and everyone over the age of 30 who came in looked at him and said "poor little dear" to which he looked up with his heavy head in his croaky- full- of -pacifier -mouth "yaaaa" and then sadly put his head back down.

Ohhhh I really don't like when my kids are sick, especially the super pathetic extra sick kind of sick...the too sick to be cranky and are just sad and sucky sick.

This kid is getting his fair share of all the "bobbles" he can drink, vitamin D, Vitamin C and some nasty banana antibiotics (followed with a healthy dose of probiotics when they are gone)but other then that all I can do is just hold him and say "poor little dear".
He likes that.

***He looks so big on the couch doesn't he?! but he isn't...he can still curl up in a little ball on my lap...

Like Father, Like Son

These boys of mine, they sure have a thing for anything with buttons. Even Jacob knows how to play games on the Ipad...or the iphone...or anything he can get his gadget inclined hands on!

My Big Love

Yup this guy right here.
He is the middle piece. You know...the part of the puzzle that has it all make sense.

And my little loves...the reason I am.

Happy love day!

Oh...the BEST part!!!

I am getting a little bit overwhelmed at the thought of moving. The date is coming closer...I am getting wider and I can't carry anything without getting contractions so I am feeling a bit useless and more than frustrated. We have lots of gratefully offered help but some things only I can do...like all the sorting, purging and organizing. When I am looking at our heaps of belongings (where did it all come from?!) and boxes that are quickly stacking up I think of one thing...



TAAAAA DAAAA!!!!!
THIS is the crown jewel on our new home... Oh yes...lovely kitchen, nice landscaping, beautiful master suite...dark hardwood...lots to love...but THIS- This is what gets me motivated to do just one more box!


My second floor laundry. Right smack in the middle of the bedrooms! How much SENSE does that make! No more lugging laundry baskets up two flights of stairs...it is all right there. I am actually looking FORWARD to doing laundry, and that is a small miracle! It is not painted or decorated obviously...and I have so many ideas for this darling little room...so tiny, and yet SO eagerly anticipated.

Convenient!

The bedrooms in our new house presented a bit of pressure on the gender of this baby. Though the painters were on standby...
It is a little too pink for my taste- I am thinking the future three year old girl in our family would be a little upset if I painted over the perfect princess retreat. So it will stay...and the boys can keep the race car room ( I am not a fan of the "theme" bedroom...but they love it!).

I do love the third floor finished attic...I have big plans for this space...but again, I have to wait for the novelty of the princess, Thomas and Cars murals to wear off before I make any drastic changes.

From all Around...

Ben came bursting out of the bathroom the other day (I have noticed that men...big and small do their best thinking in the bathroom?!) and said;
"Mommy! We are having a baby girl and we are calling her...(shyly looks away and grins at me sheepishly) Ella!

I told him that we trust that God has picked the very best baby to come to our family and that might be a girl OR a boy.

He wasn't convinced.

Last night we told him that we were going to get pictures of the new baby taken by a special camera so we could see what baby looked like and we could know if it was a boy or a girl.

"Remember! I ONLY want a girl!"

Mmmm.

He was very excited to hear that he is getting the baby sister he wanted so much and has been drawing her pictures ever since. (I am going to keep them all for her.) He is only calling her Ella. Fortunately this would work well as a nickname for another name that was high on the "girl list".

Jakey? He dances around like a maniac if you even mention the word "baby" -the boy LOVES them. He is so rough and tough and boy all over but put him near a baby and he is so sweet and gentle with his trembling hand trying to be touch gently and his little falsetto voice he talks to them in. I can't wait for my boys to meet their little sister, she is a lucky girl!

From the Inside!

Here SHE is!
She looks perfect, we can't WAIT to meet little Missy!

*The top picture is her face, the second is her the back of her head and spine and the last is her profile. You can't see in the pictures as we could on the screen but she has chubby little cheeks, full lips and kept rubbing her face with her little hands. Her Daddy melted right there on the floor.

From the Outside!

20 weeks! This little baby is halfway baked and time is sure flying. I am starting to knock my stomach of off door frames when I walk out of a room or shut the fridge door on myself because I popped out so suddenly I haven't had time to adjust! Sorry baby!

Love

What an example he is. Everything he goes through he does with strength, dignity and an enviable amount of faith and integrity.
He will not complain. He will not pity himself or his situation. He will not give up.

I just love him so much.

On Layaway

I hear the expression "you are only given what you can handle" frequently. By others and my own reassurances.

I was, however mistaken.

The fog of denial was lifting. The full weight of our current situation was fully beginning to set in and I was feeling a rush of hormones and emotions tangoing in a dangerous direction. My thoughts were dark and pessimistic. I was angry, resentful and bordering on hopeless exhaustion during yet another sleepless night.

Thoughts of a move with a husband post surgery, a new baby and chemo, 2 little boys with their world turned upside down and...me. I needed to be more than I am. NOW.

I felt desperate and so very very inadequate. I was not enough. There is a mistake because I cannot handle this.

I cannot breeze through my entire life with a charm hanging over my head to be crash coursed into a scenario such as this and be expected to be the brave, strong, energetic and faithful everything to so many people who all need all of me.

I cannot.
I cannot.
I cannot.

And it is true.

I could not.

"7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that aseeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." Mathew:7-8

We prayed. We prayed and we prayed. We could FEEL the prayers of those around us. I asked for what I didn't currently posses. Peace. Comfort. Faith.

It was an epiphany of sorts as I sat in my thicker skin, with my fuller heart.

I had falsely believed that people who go through great trials are strong. I would be exempt, certainly. But on the contrary...it is the weak who are made strong by the things they were certain they could not do.

When we ask Him for what we need to carry on however, his Grace provides this. I am living off of borrowed strength.

My strength is on layaway. Bit by bit, I will earn more and more to own myself. For now, his grace is sufficient and I am grateful for it.

Plasma Racers

Around and around and around the kitchen island they go! All day long (and they are LOUD!) These are the biggest hit of any toy so far. This winter, when two energetic boys have been stuck inside on too many days we are sure loving plasma cars!! They are rescue hero's, race car drivers and lately "toe truck drivers" (??) I am amazed at how fast they can go! (Thank you Grammie and Grandad!)

Why Us?

It is a struggle not to dwell on this question. Why Us?
Why, when we did everything "right" would this happen to us. We did everything on the "Cancer Prevention" list and more...and yet, here we are.
Our organic eating, green smoothie drinking, vitamin pill popping, natural cleaners, reverse osmosis, hepa filtering selves are in the thick of exactly what we were trying to escape.
I would hate for someone to throw in the towel in their life because of our example. I would hate for someone to say "well look at them! They did all these things right and it really didn't matter! Why bother trying?"
I admit that in moments of weakness and resentment at the unfairness of it all that I haven't let that cross my mind. Why Bother?! All of our best efforts and look where it got us?
But perhaps we were missing the lesson. Perhaps it was all of these choices that we made to prioritize our health and be proactive in preventative medicine that allows us to be so otherwise healthy. Perhaps it is why the cancer has grown slowly and why he otherwise feels generally well, why he will go through treatments with a strong body and a quick recovery. We will reap the rewards of our efforts, if not for the ways we imagined.
Perhaps it is the irony and exactly the unfairness of it all that we needed. WE are not in control.
WE simply need to do the best we can with what we are given. We did it then and we will do it now. In this lesson of faithful acceptance we are tested on another level BECAUSE it is the very thing that we least expected. That we didn't "deserve".
With that then, the question remains simply; "why NOT us?"