Happy Birthday Matthew!

My baby is one! This year was a roller coaster of events and you took it all in, grinning all the while. You just fit right in, grinning and smiling and reaching for your loved ones. Quietly taking in new skills and mastering them with a little smirk that says "look what I can do!". You are mischievous and funny...that sense of humor; willingness to giggle, snicker and belly laugh for anything at all and the delight it brings you to be the cause of laughter is a defining trait I think. There is much to still learn about you I think, I love getting to know you deeper as more of yourself emerges.

Matthew Thomas.

Matthew means Gift from God. And that you are. We did not believe we could have more children, until of course you were here.

And Thomas.

For the doubting Thomas of biblical times who reminds us that God is in control. That the impossible can be possible and there is always a place for hopeful petition ...because you were always hoped for.

I never told your dad of course. I didn't want him to believe that I was upset at our likely inability to have more children. I didn't want him to know of the lingering feeling that someone was missing. How I accidently bought four matching Christmas stockings for our three children or routinely put out 4 plates for their lunch... Until one day I heard a wistful comment that confirmed he felt the same. A longing, a wish...a hope. And then we hoped together and quietly for...you.

And if there was ever a baby so happy and beautiful and beloved and wanted, you delivered. You are such a sweet joy in our lives. A true gift and a blessing every moment we have known you.

Sometimes I look at you in disbelief that you are everything I could have dreamt of and more. I am in disbelief at times that I questioned fleetingly if I could be enough for four. Would my patience, energy, insight...love...be enough? Could I be stretched to cover the needs of another? And then so perfectly, as soon as I saw you; just as my body knew just how you needed to grow, instinctively this area of my heart expanded so that before I even knew it existed ...it was full. The part that was yours all along.

I adore you, I cherish you, I am grateful for you; my beautiful boy.

Happy birthday Matthew.

I love you so very much,
Mommy xoxo

11 Months Old!

Matthew is a Mama's boy. He needs to be within eyesight or arms reach pretty much all the time. He will visit with others briefly but he is pretty eager to get back to his Mama...which I can't say I mind. It makes getting dinner ready a little challenging but I will pick his cuddles anyday! Matthew is a sweetheart; an affectionate, cuddly, snuggly sweetheart! When he wakes up in the morning he is heard practicing his enthusiastic "HI-YA's" and when I open the door he is already flapping his arm in his mastered wave and needs to make the rounds. Each face is greeted with the same grin and "HI-YA!". He certainly follows his siblings in appetite! He breaks into a giggle if he sees a banana and watermelon? -you just made his day! So far the only thing he really doesn't care for is anything with potato in it.  He loves veggies- cucumbers, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, those are the first things off his plate! We just love this boy so much! He is such a precious delightful boy! I cannot believe he is almost a year old. In some ways I feel like he was just born and in others I cannot imagine a time when he wasn't here!

10 Months Old

Matthew Thomas! You are getting too big! You have lots of teeth, an infectious giggle, soft hair that is turning lighter and lighter by the day and big blue eyes. I love getting you up in the morning when you are jumping, laughing, babbling and clapping in excitement to start the day. You are such a good humored little guy. Everything makes you laugh and you adore your brothers and sister. You love Twinkle Twinkle little Star, You are My Sunshine and peek a boo. You love to be chased, have no interest in walking and seem to be moving out of (thankfully) your biting phase.