The Newest Little Cath.olic

Last weekend we baptized our sweet boy. It was a particularly lovely weekend with lots of quality family time. B was the best baby of the bunch. He slept through most of it, and made nary a peep when the water was poured on his head. As the priest put it, "The spirit passed through quietly." It was so very special and I was so very proud.

That's our B in his fancy little Nord.strom baby baptismal getup (gift from BIL). He was extraordinarily handsome that day. I still have a severe case of mommy brain. On this day, I forgot to pack some wipes in the diaper bag. I didn't realize this until B had a particularly smelly poo in the middle of the ceremony. I had to improvise during the diaper change and it wasn't pretty, but I managed not to get any poo on the white silk outfit. I've got mad skillz, ya'll.

Some days, I truly struggle with this mommy brain deal. There are some days I feel like such a simpleton, I don't know how I manage to do my job. With this, I must end this post so I can get some sleep. I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed it.

Time To Make the Doughnuts

I went back to work last week. I miss my son immensely during the day, and picking him up is the highlight of my day.

I have a really great childcare sitch. My friend's mom watches my precious boy. We had a practice week before I went back to work during which I'd drop him off for half days or so and run a bunch of errands while he was there. He did really well. She probably takes better care of him than I do. When J changed B's diaper, she held him under the sink and washed off his little bottom with a sprayer and let him air dry because she thought his bottom was a little red. At the time, he was having bouts of diarrhea so I warned her that was at her own risk. I got a little Valentine's Day gift from her also: glass Bor.n-Fre.e bottles. I guess she doesn't like my BPA-free plastic Avents? She also shoved an orange wedge in my mouth while I was holding B, and also wanted to know if I take Fish Oil so that B will be supersmart. She does this with her daughter, so I guess it is not surprising. I think it is pretty funny actually. B gets a daily trip to the park, weather permitting, and plays all day with my friend's baby and her next door neighbor's son, who is also 3 months older than B.

B got a little off of his schedule at one point, but we are back on track now. I was suspicious that she was changing his schedule to suit her needs, but I don't think that is the case. He is still eating 6 times a day, 3 hours or so apart. We are hoping to drop the late evening feeding as soon as he will tolerate it. We tried dropping it once, but he woke up starving at 0200. I suppose we'll try again in another couple of weeks. Trying to get him to eat a little more during the day and less at night. We shall see.

My day goes as follows:

0400: pump while getting dressed for work.
0530: work
0730 or thereabouts: breakfast break and pump. B is allegedly awake at this point, and A is feeding him and takes him to the nanny's. Usually B eats again around 1000.
0800: try to figure what the hell is going on at work.
1100: lunch break and pump again. Call for B update.
1530: Try to pump again, otherwise, it is pumping in the car on the way home all the while praying that 1)no one peeks in the car, 2) I don't get in a wreck and 3) I don't get pulled over.
1600: leave work to go pick up B.
1800-2100: Feed B, give him bath, prepare bottles for the next day, attempt to shower
2200: pump so A can feed B. Clean bottles and pump parts for next day.
2230 pray B sleeps until 0700. He usually does, but when A doesn't point the wizzer down, his pajamas get all wet and he wakes up cranky. Grrrrr.....

The good thing is that since I work 10 hours a day, I get each Wednesday off. Tomorrow I am planning to hang out with B all day and go to a doc's appt.


I feel like I am walking around in some really dense fog at work. A lot changed while I was out. We now utilize a completely different computer application and all of my passwords for our myriad of computer applications were all expired. Also, before I had access to the Working Mother's Room at work, I had to find an empty hospital room to pump in and pray that one of the nursing assistants didn't walk in on me. As I get back into the swing of things, there is so much that I am forgetting, and policies and procedures are changing daily! I feel like Ron Livin.gston in Offi.ce S.pace when 7 different people tell him to put cover sheets on his TPS reports. Oy!

Got a couple of other posts in the works, namely about my follow up RE appt and other doc appt. Off to feed my boy.

New Pic

Ben at 8 weeks

Going back to work next Monday. Am horrible mess. He is so much more fun now!

#2

Last week, A's office had a shower for us and 3 other couples who had babies. I am certain that A did not share with any of his coworkers our IF struggles and our eventual method of conception. So you can probably imagine how hard I had to work to hide my annoyance when we got hit with the slew of "When are you going to have another?" Actually, we have been asked this question throughout my pregnancy. We usually give the evasive, "We'll play it by ear." It's really not an easy question for us to answer.


Our fresh IVF cycle blessed us with a beautiful son and one totsicle in deep freeze. When our RE called to give us our report on our remaining embryos after our transfer, he said that only one embryo made it to freeze. He said it didn't look like it would make it, but it continued to grow and turned out to be a grade 4 (the grade that got me pregnant). I am a little disconcerted by the "didn't look like it would make it" part. OK, it semi-haunts me. What is that supposed to mean?


The rate of success for thaw is 2 out of 3. The odds of that embryo getting me pregnant is about 25%. This embryo is technically a fraternal twin to Ben, although with a different birthdate, obviously. But I am not exactly counting on Ben having a sibling because those odds reek of crapshoot.



A few months ago at work, I had a conversation with a patient's family member that made me think about this issue. I am not sure why people feel they can be so nosy with nurses, or why they feel the need to reveal so much about themselves. But on this particular day I was game. She began by asking about my pregnancy and I let her know it is our first baby. She said that she has a daughter herself, who is now college age, and never had more children because she had a bicornuate uterus and it was hard for her to get pregnant. She said that she herself is an only child, which never bothered her until she began taking care of her parents. It's just her that bears that difficult burden. Not only does she help with care for her own father, she does the same for her husband's family. I hate the thought of B bearing that responsibility solo.

One of the babies at the shower was approaching her first birthday. The office never had a shower for the couple because the baby was born two months early, and both mother and baby had some health issues to overcome. I kept looking at her and thinking what a miracle she must be. I also thought how terrified the parents must have been. I have had a healthy baby and healthy pregnancy and it was all so perfect. Not for one single second do I take that for granted. I fear not having a similar experience with a second go-round.

There is also the fact that we would have to pay again to conceive. Our insurance does not cover fertility treatments, so we will again face hefty out of pocket costs. The FET for our remaining embryo will cost about 1/3 of our IVF cycle. Even then it isn't exactly chump change. I am not certain that I'd be willing to go through another IVF cycle if the FET doesn't result in a pregnancy. We do alright financially, but we have to give thought to where we spend our money. Do we give Ben the gift of a sibling, or set that money aside for his college ambitions so he's not paying back loans for years like we had to do? I am willing to bet all those folks that ask about #2 never had to consider these things themselves.

One thing is certain. Whether or not there is a sibling in the future, I know that we will always have Ben. I will never be disappointed with that.

Results are in...

So I got my test results in the mail from my doctor's appointment a couple of weeks back that was mainly about my throat but turned into a general checkup. My cholesterol, average blood sugar and ALT (one test of liver function) are all elevated. Per his note, "all of these are related to our converstation about insulin resistnce and limiting carbohydrates. The solution is the diet we discussed." The diet limits carbs to 130 grams a day (doable, but hard initially), unlimited meat, dairy, nuts, fish, eggs, and limits the veggies to those with lower carb content. So, if I am going to have a carb, it damn well better be worth it. I know we will discuss this in more detail at my appt next week, but it is a jumping off point. No longer can I eat sugar guilt free.

I 'Heart" your blog

Brenda gave me an I 'Heart' your blog award. I am touched! She will soon be doing her 3rd IVF cycle and I sincerely hope it brings her heart's desire.



The way this works is I answer the following questions with single word responses, and pass the award on to 7 other bloggers:


1. Where is your cell phone? Couch
2. Where is your significant other? Work
3. Your hair color? Blonde
4. Your mother? Practical
5. Your father? Softie
6. Your favorite thing? Food
7. Your dream last night? Non-existent
8. Your dream/goal? Serenity
9. The room you're in? Living room
10. Your hobby? Shopping
11. Your fear? Illness
12. Where do you want to be in six years? Hmmmm.....
13. Where were you last night? Home
14. What you're not? Relaxed
15. One of your wish list items? Lotto
16. Where you grew up? Houston
17. The last thing you did? Pediatrician
18. What are you wearing? Sweats
19. Your T.V.? HGTV
20. Your pet? Obese
21. Your computer? Slow
22. Your mood? Relieved
23. Missing someone? Friends
24. Your car? Family-mobile
25. Something you're not wearing? Earrings
26. Favorite store? Nordstrom
27. Your Summer? Joyful
28. Love someone? AB
29. Your favorite color? Blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? Today
31. Last time you cried? Yesterday


I'd like to pass this along to Mrs. Shoes, Kathy, and Sara. I know it's not 7. Least favorite character trait? Lazysometimes.

Raspy like an 80 year old smoker

I have had laryngitis since B was born. I had no drainage or soreness, so I didn't really do anything about it until recently because I was overwhelmed with newborn life. At my two week checkup, my OB said the rest my voice and drink peppermint tea with lemon and honey and hopefully it would go away in about 2 weeks. When that didn't happen, I got a referral to an internist. He thinks that I could have had silent reflux toward the end of my pregnancy as the cause of my laryngitis. He has put me on Prevaci.d for 3 weeks (in addition to Nasacort) and will reevaluate. He thought it might also be allergies, but it is really hard to tell. It seems my OB refers all his patients with issues to this guy, so it seems to be something he has seen a little of. He has said that he has referred patients to an ENT before, and they have scoped, told them they have reflux and put them on a proton pump inhibitor. So, hopefully skipping a $300 charge here. If it doesn't resolve, then he'll refer me to an ENT.

The internist also has an interest in insulin resistance, diabetes and weight control as it leads to heart disease. He also cross-trained in Med/Peds. It is possible I may be insulin resistant. He asked abut my glucose during pregnancy, and I let him know that I flunked the first glucose and passed the four hour. He said that I have some cherry hemagiomas (small pinkish-red ill-defined spots) on my chest that are a sign of insulin resistance. Of course, he has ordered labs drawn and all of that to see if that really is the case. He would like me to follow a moderate carb diet, 130 grams a day. He said that breastfeeding moms can follow the diet, but I am curious as to what my OB says. Truth is, I'd love to lose weight. I have 15 lbs to go from my pre-pregnancy weight. And that isn't counting the 20 lbs of marriage weight I have gained in the past 5 years. Scary, isn't it?

With these prescriptions comes paranoia. Everything I have googled on the internet says not to take Preva.cid while breastfeeding. My OB wasn't available, but I called my ped's office, and they have said that both meds prescribed are fine for breastfeeding. In fact, they prescribe Prev.acid for infants with reflux sometimes. Still, I can't help but worry.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas (if that is what you celebrate) and begin a wonderful New Year!